


Beyond The Castle Walls

by singularritae



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Before Battle, Blaise Zabini is a Good Friend, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Kid Fic, Minor Character Death, Minor Ginny Weasley/Blaise Zabini, Porn With Plot, Post-War, Potions Master Draco Malfoy, Slow Burn, Smut, but no MAJOR, kind of, minor is point of view really, pansmione is best friends, present and past
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2020-04-25 05:43:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 46
Words: 194,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19159957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/singularritae/pseuds/singularritae
Summary: The war is over, but the new attacks have been worrying the magical world. When Hermione gets hit by a curse that sends her to St. Mungus, she has no hope left and is left to remember about her days at Hogwarts before the curse gets her memories as well as her body.A story about beginnings and ends and two people too scared to be together.Russiantranslation now available





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I began writing this in 2014 and was too scared to post it but then it became this huge monster and I thought, why not?
> 
> The story is set in the present time and past time, chapters alternate between them.

August 30th, 2003. St. Mungo’s. Day 3220

 

“Hermione, it’s dangerous! With all these attacks and you—" Hermione narrows her eyes and Harry stops talking.

“It’s going to be perfectly fine. We already discussed these attacks and you agreed with me when I said I wasn’t a target.

“I’m not talking about you being a target! I’m talking about Teddy being one and Malfoy and Caelum as well! I’m talking about your refusal to use your wand to cast anything other than a cooling charm! I’m talking about you living in St. Mungos for the past three months because you were hit with something that’s killing you and we don’t have a clue on how to save you!” Harry snaps and Blaise walks closer to her, sneering at Harry.

“Blaise already said that is perfectly fine for me to go to King’s Cross and come back, he explained in detail the potion and the spell he will be using, he even offered to come with us.” She insists stubbornly, “Nothing is going to happen at King’s Cross, whoever is behind these attacks know better than to try something in a place full of children Harry and you know that. I know I’m sick, but you can’t take this from me Harry, everyone is going—“

“—But you bloody well know the reason you want to go is not the same reason than the rest of us—“

“Neville is my friend too, I have every right—“

“You want to see Malfoy, Hermione. That’s whom you want to see, don’t pretend otherwise. I don’t want you to—“

“It’s been two years since I last saw him. Six since the last time—It’s a long time.” She says and Harry sighs, looking down. She knows Harry wants to argue more, say six years obviously aren’t enough, but she knows she won this round.

“Potter, I’m sure Hermione made her point. I will be with her all the time to make sure she’s ok.” Blaise says, putting a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it. Harry sighs again and nods.

“I will be here in two days and we go to King’s Cross together ok?” She just nods and Harry kisses her head, “be safe Mione. Love you.”

“I will. Love you too Harry.”

With another look at her and a nod in Blaise’s direction, the raven-haired boy leaves the room, leaving her and Blaise alone.

“Are you ready?” Blaise asks concerned, and she smiles sadly at him.

“I don’t know. This might be a goodbye—" Blaise scowls, “we are lost in what to do Blaise, you know that! But regardless, seeing Draco for the first time in so long… I don’t know.”

“I will be right by your side, I will even Glamour you to your best, so he knows exactly what’s he missing” Blaise smiles at her smugly and she snorts.

 

September 1st, 2003. King’s Cross Station. Day 5414

“Are you nervous?” Harry asks, and Hermione plasters a smile on her face. Blaise is on Hermione right and his eyes ask the same question. Hermione nods. “Let’s go then.” Harry says, and they cross the pillars between the platform nine and ten. 

Once on the other side, Hermione’s eyes water immediately. God, it is probably the last time she’d be seeing this place and all it comes with. Everything is the way she remembers, the families hugging, friends meeting again after the summer, children looking in awe at everything for the first time, the trunks, the owls, the train. If she was a little more reckless, she’d be jumping on that train and going with them, to see Hogwarts for the last time, to be in the place she discovered herself, grew up, fell in love, fought, cried and simply lived.

Hogwarts is her home and it would always be. The corridors to the library, the warmth of the Gryffindor common room, the chatter at the great hall, the escapades to the Room of Requirement with the love of her life… She sighs; she isn’t ready to give all that up yet.

She looks at Blaise and thanks him profusely: for the extra potions that reduced her migraine to a headache, the soreness on her back and are helping her lungs hold on. The feeling is addictive and she knows that’s why he never eases her pain completely.

They walk around, just letting the noise drown them. Without even noticing, they walk to the compartment the trio used to sit. 

They find Ginny first, she has Teddy in her arms, who’s struggling, trying to get her to put him down, the kid’s hair is changing from purple, to blue, to orange. Teddy usually is better in controlling the changes, but with his excitement, he isn’t paying attention to it.

Besides Ginny is Ron and Dean, both talking animatedly about the last Quidditch match; Luna is talking to George about something Hermione doesn’t understand.

Neville is there in the middle of them, he’s talking to Ginny but he’s the first to spot the new arrivals and smile broadly at them.

“You made it!” Neville cheers and Harry pat his shoulder.

“Wouldn’t miss it!” 

“Are you excited?” Hermione asks, teacher at Hogwarts! Teaching Transfiguration after Minerva retired still was a dream of Hermione.

“Yes, proper scared too, I’m afraid I will make a fool of myself like my first year as a student”

“That’s impossible Neville! You have stopped making a fool of yourself during our fifth year” George jokes and they all laugh, he catches Hermione eyes and studies her thoroughly, she just nods.

“Yeah, and Snape was the main reason for your breakdowns, he’s not there anymore.” Ginny jokes and they agree, this time no one laughs, some losses are still too open.

“And who’s teaching potions this year? Didn’t old Slughorn retired last year?” Ron asks and before the ones who knew the answer can say anything, a boy comes barreling in the middle of their legs.

“Teddy!” the boy calls, and Hermione’s recognizes him instantly

“Caelum!” Teddy exclaims and Ginny is no game to hold Teddy off this time. They both meet on the floor.

Hermione’s tears grow thicker. Her boy is so beautiful. Caelum’s white-blond hair curling in the bottom, making him look like a little angel, and his chocolate brown eyes, just like hers, shining in happiness and excitement when he finally meets her eyes.

She kneels beside both boys and Caelum jumps on her, hugging her neck, she nuzzles her face on his hair, breathing him in, her arms cradling her baby boy, hugging him close, and practically sobbing on him. And the small boy, only five, whispering ‘it’s okay mum’ and ‘I love you too’.

“I missed you so much baby,” she cries, and Caelum pulls back, his own eyes rimmed red, she dries her eyes and kisses his cheeks.

“I missed you too. I’m so happy you came, I sent a letter, but you didn’t answer—“

“I was staying at the Ministry because of the job, I hadn’t the box with me, I’m sorry, of course I would come.” It’s a lie, but her boy doesn’t need to know.

Caelum hugs her again, and she kisses his hair, his cheek, his ear and the boy giggles happily, “Stop, stop, I’m a big boy now!” Caelum squirms in her arms and they both laugh. 

“What is he doing here?” Ron asks, and she ignores the question, focused on what her boy is telling her, something about dropping several of Narcissa’s ornamented glass plates and breaking them but getting away with it because he said his magic had manifested for the first time. Hermione scolds him but she’s laughing and she’s so happy.

“—and Dad says I can visit him, he will let me fly at the field so when I become a Slytherin I can try out for the Quidditch team—“

Her eyes widen and the boy gulps, but the smirk in his eyes tells her Caelum is not even a little guilty. Caelum’s smirk sends shivers through her spine.

“How do you know you will be in Slytherin?” She asks instead, avoiding the Quidditch and not thinking about her boy on top of a broom flying that high in a violent game like Quidditch.

“As if my boy would end up anywhere else.” A voice says on top of them and Hermione tenses. Caelum only grins wider and get up to his feet, smiling at his parents with a blinding smile.

It’s the first time Caelum is seeing both his parents at once.

“Draco.” She gasps and get up herself, Blaise and Harry quickly shuffling by her side. Hermione makes a point to avoid two thirds of the present Weasleys.

“Hello Granger.” Draco says with a smile that almost makes her legs give in, and Hermione isn’t sure it’s because of her condition. Draco is exactly like she remembers, or exactly like the picture Caelum sent of the two of them just two weeks ago. His white-blond hair isn’t sleeked back like he used in Hogwarts, but instead it’s a little longer in the back, almost reaching his shoulder, Draco has some strands on his forehead, brushing his eyelashes, which makes her want to touch and brush them away. He’s completely collected and well dressed, there no reason why she wants to touch the tie he’s wearing.

In reality, just him standing there makes her want to put her hands all over him. 

“Hi.” She says in a small voice and she hates that she is blushing, she is twenty-three for Godric’s sake. Blaise snorts beside her and Draco smirks. Her eyes fill with tears at it: the classic Malfoy smirk still in its finest, “Please, he has more brains than you could ever hope for, Slytherin would be an insult to him” she jokes after seconds of openly staring and even Blaise makes a sound in offense, Caelum giggles.

“Merlin, fuck this.” Draco says, taking his wand out of his pocket and muttering “Borrire Incantatem!”

Time stops around her as the bubble leaving his wand wraps around her. Whoever is outside can’t see whatever is happening inside of it.

“Merlin, you are beautiful.” Draco gasps and takes two steps closer, now inches apart from her, she blushes, and it is 1995 all over again.

“Where were you? I missed you,” she mumbles, and Draco pulls her into a hug, running his finger in her hair while she breathes in his scent, it’s the same after all these years. And God, she loves him so.

“I missed you too.” Draco touches his forehead on hers and closes his eyes, her hands are balled on his shirt, holding tight. “How are you?” Draco asks, his fingers running all over her face, tracing her freckles, the bone on her nose, her jaw, her cheeks. 

“I’m perfect.” She blurts and Merlin, isn’t it the truth.

In that moment she feels more alive than the last eleven years, she feels like her body is exploding with life once again.

But she’s hurt; she wants to know why he never came after her, why he didn’t look for her when he could leave his house again. Hermione wants to know why Draco keeps not choosing her when every choice she’s made after meeting him was for him. 

Not a word leaves her mouth, she can’t say anything now, she can’t have him leaving again.

“Why are you crying?” Draco asks her, and she takes a step back.

“I still love you.” Hermione says and cries harder, “I can’t stop.”

“I’m só sorry.” Draco says and Hermione nods, because she can’t say what’s stuck inside her, because she’s dying, and this is a goodbye.

This is the last time she is going to see them, and it hurts, hurts more than the pain in her bones and her organs. And she’s too weak, too coward to tell the truth, to really say goodbye. She starts to cry again and it’s too painful.

Draco kisses her hair, inhales her scent, hold her so close and she closes her eyes, memorizing the feeling, how safe she feels in his arms, always felt.

“I know Granger.” Draco says softly, and she feels alive again.

They pull apart, Draco eyes are shining, “Finite Incantatem!” Draco says, and everything around them starts moving again. 

Blaise looks at the two with knowing eyes, squeezes Hermione’s arm and looks at Caelum.

“You will be teaching Potions?” Ron asks, and his voice is weird, because he’s trying to be polite but at the same time some of the hatred still leaks.

“And Slytherin’s Head.” Draco says, immune to Ron’s tone, who visibly scowls.

But then Hermione sees the way Ron’s looking at her and Draco and it’s not child’s grudge, it’s jealousy. Ginny notices also and sides with her brother– thing she’s been doing since she found out about Caelum.

“Are they letting anyone teach there now?” She asks and it’s rude because Neville is also starting and Draco notices. 

“No, only the ones who finished education and met the requirements. I saw your scores by the way Longbottom, you beat me in Charms.”

And Blaise gawks at Draco; Hermione’s face mirrors his. She wasn’t expecting this level of maturity from him.

No one says anything for a second and most of them jump when the train whistles for the last time before leaving, Draco turns to Blaise.

“Nice to see where your loyalties lie, you traitor.” Draco says to his best friend and smirks as he puts a hand in Hermione’s small back, knowing Ron is following his every moment. 

So much for being mature.

“You know very well I chose Granger over you years ago.” Blaise says and Hermione smiles at how easy he slipped back to Granger in front of Draco.

“Dinner on Fridays are still on, try to drag the married man along will you?” Draco says to Blaise and turns to Hermione, “Mother made a fuss but I don’t care, I don’t trust those two alone with Caelum, can you—“ Draco trails off and seems to remember they are not alone.

It’s easy to forget, with Draco by her side, his arm behind her; Blaise easy smile in front of them, it could very well be 1995 again.

Draco nods to Blaise before leading her away from the prying ears, Caelum trots along happily, “I will try to be home most weekends and when I can’t I’d like to take him to Hogwarts, but during the week, I was thinking, maybe we could swap? Mother is trying to get him to start the piano and I remember how dreadful those was.”

“I—“ Hermione starts, she can’t say no, she can’t explain why she’s living at St. Mungos or every time she falls asleep is days before she wakes up again, “He’d be safer at the Manor.” Hermione whispers even though Caelum isn’t paying attention anymore, Teddy is showing him his new trick.

“What? Why?”

“It isn’t out yet but there are some random attacks going on, first they were targeting the ones who defended Death Eaters during the trials but now they started to target former Death Eaters, I mean, we believe that’s what they are doing. We aren’t sure yet.”

“I haven’t heard anything about it.”

“Shacklebolt doesn’t want out yet. He doesn’t want people scared again so soon after—“ Draco nods and take both her hands on his.

“My parents will take him back to the Manor then, just—“ Draco shakes his head and calls for Caelum.

“I will miss you kiddo, ignore what your mum says about Quidditch and houses, we will start practicing next week so you can bring the House Cup to good ol’ Salazar.” Caelum laughs.

“I will miss you dad!” Caelum hugs Draco and Draco kisses his hair.

Hermione hugs Caelum one more time, tighter, says ‘I love you’ a million times, apologize a couple more and then turns to Draco, her face crumbling, because she will miss him, she already miss him terribly, every day. Eyes that held so much pain, sorrow and regret, but that sometimes she’d see them so kind towards her. His lips, god his lips, she loved his lips, loved them on her mouth and on her body, loved the always present smirk, the malicious grin and when his lips would curl upwards just slightly, before turning into a full smile that every time had her catching her breath, making her think she is the only one that matters to him.

Caelum, after giving another hug to his father and whispering ‘I love you,’ ran to his grandmother, who cried even harder at the sight of him, making the boy roll his eyes and mutter ‘I’m not the one going Nan”.

“Granger,” Draco says, with a smile too beautiful on his lips and a nod of his head, and then turns to Harry, “Potter.”

“Malfoy.” And leaves at it.

Draco leaves to join Caelum and his parents for a last goodbye.

Hermione and Blaise return to Neville, she hugs her friend and wishes him luck, Neville jumps on the train in the same compartment they used to sit, ignoring the kids already sat and the ones at the platform all laugh at him.

“Let’s go?” Harry asks, when the train is out of their sight, “I will go with Ginny and Teddy home. Zabini can I trust you with Hermione?”

“No Potter, I will dump Hermione somewhere and then take a holiday in Ibiza.” Blaise scoffs; rolling his eyes and Harry narrows his.

“Come on Blaise, be nice.” She says as Blaise mutters something about Saint Potter and ‘dumbass hero’.

Blaise pulls the portkey for St. Mungos and Hermione, with a last look in Draco’s direction, who is already look at her, smiles and then touches the portkey, feeling the pull on her navel taking her away.

 

November 5th, 1994. Hogwarts Library. Day 1.

“Malfoy.” She calls but knows the chances of being answered are close to zero.

The boy is wearing a badge that reads Potter Stink and sitting in a table near the potion’s session, the same table he sits almost every day to study.

"What?" Draco sneers, but doesn’t bother to look at her, keeping his head on the book.

"I need your help,” she says, and he snorts before raising his head and looking at her like she’s grown a second head.

"And why Mudblood, do you think I would help you?" He snarls, and she rolls her eyes.

"Because it's in your interest too." 

He raises his eyebrows at her and sighs, "Honestly Mudblood, I thought you were the brains in your group of idiots. Do tell why you would think something you have to say is in my interest."

"I can't study. This library is noisy. Krum keeps hanging around looking at me and his fans keep giggling and talking and it's so loud I can't concentrate” she chatters, and the prat has the nerve to yawn.

"Like I said, I can't see why this concerns me." Draco says in a bored tone.

"You are here every day. They must be annoying you too. It's impossible to study."

"So, leave" Draco says and points to the door, "as you said, they are only here because of Krum, and your boyfriend is here because of you, so go find another place to study and the library will be quiet again."

"He's not my boyfriend." She blushes.

"I don't really care."

"Malfoy I--"

"Granger leave! I'm not going to help you, I don't care about the noise and honestly you are a lot noisier than them with your sighs and huffs every two lines. It's pathetic."

"Fine," she huffs and Malfoy raises an eyebrow trying to prove his point. "Prat."

"Filthy Mudblood."

"Ferret!" She raises her voice after the insult.

"Granger, would you leave already? You are making a fool of yourself, more than the usual might I add, standing here with your arms crossed looking like someone strangled your cat."

She stomps her way away from the blond and sits back at her table with a scowl on her face and tries to tune out the girls next to her.

 

September 3rd, 2003. St. Mungos. Day 3220

When she wakes up, it’s night time and looking around, she finds Harry sitting in a recliner.

“Hey,” she greets and coughs, “I was out for how long this time?” She asks, knowing every time she collapses, she spends more and more time unconscious.

“Three days.” Harry sighs and she hates how he looks, Harry has suffered enough in his life, has lost way too many loved ones in his life, she hates that she is going to be another one. “How are you feeling?”

“Almost dead.” She mutters and can see Harry’s face hardening.

“Don’t say that.”

“Why not? It’s true, just a matter of time Harry.”

“You still have a chance, they are trying to find a potion to cure you, and there’s a lot of people helping. Zabini says they are closer, just a few more months.”

“I don’t have months Harry, you know that. Everything hurts, all the time. Even keeping my eyes open hurt, wiggle my toes is almost impossible…” She complains, feeling the full force of her condition once Blaise removed the spell and went back to her usual.

“Did you tell them?” Harry asks, and she looks at him confused, “Caelum and Malfoy. Mione I know exactly what happened.”

“I couldn’t.”

“They need to know”

“They will, once it happens…” She closes her eyes, Merlin it hurts, “Harry, keep an eye on Caelum for me?”

“Hermione…” Harry starts, and she pinches the bridge of her nose.

“I need to rest, everything is a bit too much right now… Call Blaise when you leave, please?”

Hermione doesn’t wait for a reply, closing her eyes and letting the tiredness take over her.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: The characters in this story are not mine: they belong to JK Rowling.

September 8th, 2003. St. Mungos. Day 3220

 

She knows it’s a dream because she is back at Hogwarts and wearing red and gold shirt, clashing against the silver and green scarf she has on her neck. Hermione can feel her dream slipping away from her, as the voices in her room grow louder and the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Quidditch match seems a lot more distant.

Opening her eyes with difficulty, she finds two people, one red haired and one dark haired around her bed, knowing instantly whom they belong to. 

Hermione looks at Blaise before addressing Ron, he simply mouths ‘two’ at her and she nods.

Almost a week has passed, and she spent a total of 20 minutes awake. That’s a new record and by the look on Blaise’s face he knows that too.

“Potter said you wanted to speak with me? It’s something wrong?” He asks, pretending two whole days passed between that.

“No,” she sends a hesitant look in Ron’s direction and shakes her head. “Everything is fine, I just wanted to ask something, but it can wait.” 

Blaise must have guessed whatever she wants to ask needs to be without Ron in the room because his face is comprehensible.

Blaise gives her the dose, the same awful looking with an equally awful taste, of everyday, four times per day, and leaves the room.

This potion is the closest they got to the real thing. They still haven’t found out what was the curse she got hit with, because the former-Death Eater fired dozens of other spells before they stunned him, so priori incantatem didn’t help. But it was a powerful one that hit her abdomen and, in the moment, didn’t do anything other than stupefied her for a few of seconds. Such effect made her keep fighting – more like dodging, only realizing something was wrong hours later, when she collapsed on the floor. 

Being rushed to St. Mungo’s, they discovered it was dark magic, an unknown one, that made her body shut itself one organ at a time, starting where the curse hit, in her case, her small bowl. They administered dozens of potions and healing spells, but the curse worked quickly, spreading everywhere and being immune to everything. The only thing they managed to do was slow the spreading process. 

As the weeks passed, and the healers and her family grew more anxious and worried, the disease had reached her lungs and was now getting near her heart. And everyone knew that the moment it reached her heart they wouldn’t be able to do anything else, because was just one more organ till the brain and then she was dead. With the other organs they all had potions to keep them functioning, but it wouldn’t work with the brain. 

She was the magic version of a living machine. 

Nothing worked on its own anymore, if she was in a muggle hospital, she would have died hours after being rushed in.

“If Harry hadn’t told me, I wouldn’t have realized about the Borrire,” Ron starts and Hermione prepares herself for whatever that’s coming. 

It’s been years, of mean retorts and slurs about them. Small comments that makes her heart ache because just proves how the world hasn’t change a bit after the last war. What once was prejudice towards muggle-born and blood traitors, now it is towards purebloods and descendants of Death Eaters. The few who worked in the Ministry, such as Theo and Pansy, listened to insults every day and mutters of pureblood the same way she used to listen to people calling her mudblood. More and more witches and wizards married muggle-born or half-blood because no one wanted to be known as the same kind who caused such horror.

Hermione cringes at their stupidity and closed minds; unable to understand how people can’t see they are walking the same paths as ten years ago.

Blaise Zabini, whose family weren’t alleged Death Eaters suffered prejudice, he is a healer in St. Mungo’s and often people don’t want to be treated by him because of his blood. Even Hannah Abbott, a Hufflepuff girl and Neville’s wife received her share of disapproving looks just because her family is one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. 

The first time they heard about the attacks on former Death Eaters, Ron said, ‘well, it’s not like they don’t deserve it’ and she wanted to scream.

More and more purebloods lived in recluse, the ones not connected with Voldemort were wealthy enough to never have to work again and they used that to keep to themselves, but the ones who had their vaults drained as sentence have to deal with the slurs, like Theo. 

But of course, there’s still some who preach for blood supremacy, who’d sing for Voldemort’s return or for someone to put the old order again.

“Yeah, it was great seeing Caelum again.” She replies, looking away. 

Draco isn’t a topic open to discussion with any Weasley. Especially Ron.

Hermione knows about Ron’s feelings for her, he confessed to being in love with her, in the dead of the night when they were searching for Horcruxes and still was, years later. 

It was the first time he tried something, and she cried for hours when Ron mentioned it and they all forgot all about it. But he tried again five months after Draco’s house arrest had ended. She had waited months for him to contact her, to visit, to be the one to drop Caelum on her house or to pick him up, but he never came, and Hermione realized he might not come after all. It wasn’t Hogwarts anymore. 

So, she agreed to try to move on with Ron, but Hermione still warded her flat with too many wards, checked every room three times every time she arrived and woke up at the smallest sounds. Even Crookshanks learned to not walk around the flat anymore in the middle of the night. Hermione sleeps with her wand in her hand even though she doesn’t cast a single spell and lives in a muggle neighborhood, away from magic and away from her parents. 

Every night, she wakes with the sounds of her screams, reliving the days living in a tent in the worst ways possible: Bellatrix arriving, killing Harry and Ron and torturing her on the ground before killing her; Draco’s blooded body appearing at their doorstep; the war going on after Caelum and—

She didn’t speak or mention Draco’s name around the Weasleys, didn’t let it show she still had feelings for him. She cared, loved and was invested in her relationship with Ron in a way no one dared to say otherwise. 

The first time they had sex she cried during the whole thing, shaking.

The second she actually enjoyed it, but it was Ron who cried. She had called Draco’s name.

The thing is. She loves Ron, she really does. But a long time ago she tried to stop fooling herself in thinking the love she feels for him is different than the love she feels for Harry. Her heart is already filled with love for someone else. But Hermione is adamant on getting better, on being happy and healthy. 

But sometimes her shield would fail, and she’d be a little late to compose herself and Harry will look at her in a knowing way, not judging or angry, just accepting. Every year around Caelum’s birthday, she’d lose it, just like she lost that day; she’d lock herself in Caelum’s room or hide in Pansy’s house. She’d cry and want nothing more than to be their birthday instead of only his, and to be with him, with them, selfishly wishing things were different and they could be a family. And after that she’d emerge, ignore the angry looks of Ron and Ginny and devote herself to Ron and the other Weasleys, because they didn’t deserve that, didn’t deserve a best friend still broken from a war that happened years ago, they didn’t deserve someone who wanted to be somewhere else most days.

It didn’t last more than a few months; she was still too broken, flinching at the slightest touches, too paranoid and very much in love with Draco Malfoy. Hermione and Ron more fought than anything, he wouldn’t hear about Caelum and Hermione needed to vent to someone about her baby.

She is Hermione Granger, the brightest witch of her age, war heroine, Order of Merlin, First Class and apparently, suffering from a massive PTSD.

“There was another attack,” Ron says, changing the subject, “Borgin & Burke’s was trashed, Burke is missing.”

“Any clue about who’s behind the attacks?”

“Not yet, nothing that leads us to anyone. We only have hypothesis, the ones you came up with.”

“Half-blood or muggle-born.” She comments and Ron nods.

“I’m going now, Harry will stay until late at the office and Ginny wants help with the boys.” Ron explains and kisses her forehead shortly, she nods, “I love you. See you tomorrow, Mione.”

“Love you too, good night. Call Blaise when you leave, please?” She asks and ignores the face he makes on his way out.

She and Blaise being on first name basis is one of the things Ron and Harry doesn’t understand, but still haven’t asked.

Not ten minutes later Blaise walks in her room, with a small smile that is too close to a smirk to be adequate in a hospital. But it is Blaise Zabini’s trademark. Or maybe, it’s the Slytherins boy’s trademark.

“Granger, what can I do to help you?” Blaise asks, and she rolls her eyes at him.

“Remember when you said you owed me a favor?”

“What is it?” Blaise narrows his eyes; her tone might have given her away. She knows what she’s about to ask is unlikely to be agreed too and she feels bad for asking him anything more since Blaise’s the reason she’s still alive.

“I want a Pensieve.”

“Hermione…” Blaise starts, and she sighs, already expecting it, “Not only they are extremely rare these days, but in your condition, it can cause great damage, you are not only remembering memories, you are reliving them and everything you felt in that exact moment. Reliving memories is draining and you aren’t full of energy as you were four months ago. We are so close, I can’t risk anything.”

“Please Blaise! I can’t go like this. Every week I spend more and more time unconscious and I keep forgetting stuff, these potions make me groggy and I have no control of what is going on inside my head! We both know we need more time, time we don’t have--”

“We are close Hermione. Why don’t you trust me on this? You are not going to die on my watch. I promised you that. You are one of my best friends and you saved my life that day in Hogwarts and I’m going to save yours.” Blaise says firmly.

“I’m forever grateful for everything you’ve done for me Blaise, I truly am. But I’m just so tired.” She sighs and blushing, whispers the last part, “I miss him so much.”

That had Blaise taken aback. Blaise is the number one on the list of people who begged her to tell Draco and Caelum, as he is Draco’s best friend and Caelum’s godfather.

“You know you don’t need a Pensieve to have him back.” Blaise says, crossing his arms. “He’d be here in a second and you know that.”

But it’s not true and she doesn’t say anything. Sometimes Hermione thinks her life is a series of things she doesn’t say. 

“What good can come of me dropping the news on him now? The thought of him being here destroys me! Because I’m on my deathbed and the person I want most beside me is the only one I can’t have! It’s not like I have time for a happy ending! I don’t want him here, reminding me of everything I could have had, I don’t want him here pretending we are happy and in love—“

“But you are! You two still are in love with each other!” 

“—We don’t have time! I only have my memories Blaise! And even those are being taken away from me!”

“And what about Caelum? Why can’t you tell him? Your son Hermione! I went to more dinners in the Malfoy Manor that I can count and I never, never, been more uncomfortable than the times I went there since I started treating you. If they know I’ve been lying to them, that I’m keeping this from them…”

“I couldn’t tell him! He was so happy, I couldn’t take that away from him! I couldn’t make him sad!”

“And you don’t think he will be devastated when he learns about his mother’s death and find out his mother kept this from him?” Blaise yells and she knows Blaise is angry; this topic is the only one they keep avoiding because they always end up yelling at each other.

“I can’t.” Hermione sighs.

“It’s going to destroy him. Destroy them. Hermione, they will blame themselves forever. You and I both know Draco is brilliant with potions and he’d be a great help.”

“Blaise, please. Stop that.” She cries and Blaise sighs, shaking his head disapprovingly.

“I only know of one person who has a Pensieve.” Blaise starts, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes. “If the person ask why I need it, I’m going to say it’s for my patient who’s in on their deathbed,” she nods, doesn’t quite following where he is going with that. “And if the person is curious, which I know for a fact that this person is, they are going to ask who is dying and I’m going to say it’s Hermione Granger.” Blaise says and even though he is trying to be intimidating and serious, he can’t keep the smirk out of his face.

“Ok--”

“The only Pensieve I know of is in the Malfoy Manor.” Blaise says calmly, as if he is pointing out the weather.

“No! Blaise please!” She cries, panicking.. “You are my healer, you can’t disclose medical information about your patients!”

“Try me.”

“You promised! You fucking promised Blaise! I trusted you with that! You can’t do this to me!”

“You said you didn’t had time. I’m going to give you time and you are going to use it well or I will hex you myself to this bed for the rest of your life. I’m going to get his help.” Saying that, Blaise leaves her room and she screams.

 

September 8th, 2003. St. Mungo’s. Day 5420

Knocks on her door almost three hours later made her tense. She knows Blaise had gone straight to Draco and she had been staring at the door since Blaise left, waiting for the moment Draco Malfoy and probably Caelum will barge into her room.

“Come in.” She says in a shaky voice.

The door opens slowly, and she holds her breath, but quickly releases again, as the person entering her room is Blaise, and he is alone, but bringing the Pensieve with him. 

Hermione can feel her heart sinking.

She might not have wanted to tell them, but she thought once they knew, they’d be here and seeing Blaise coming back alone is heart-breaking. She hates herself for that.

“Don’t look like that, I didn’t have the balls to tell him.” Blaise says in a small voice. “Here’s the Pensieve. Try not to get killed by this thing.” Blaise moves to leave again and Hermione calls after him.

“Thank you, Blaise.”

“Don’t thank me. I probably just made my bed. He is going to kill me when he finds out what I did.” She nods in understanding and watches him leave her room.

The Pensieve was hovering on top of her lap and she blinked a shiny tear that fell inside the Pensieve and she quickly dove inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are like payment for writers


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: The characters in this story are not mine: they belong to JK Rowling
> 
> Author's note again: excerpts of this chapter were taken and paraphrased from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

November 25th, 1994. Hogwarts Library. Day 20

 

As the weeks passed, and the first task got closer, more and more girls appeared in the library. She tried to talk with Krum, saying she needed to study but the Bulgarian just replied 'I like to make you company' in his thick accent and even though she thought it was kind of creepy, he seemed so inoffensive she felt bad for being annoyed at him.

It's been three weeks since she had asked for Malfoy's help; that day she clearly was high on something for thinking he'd help. His presence at the library is a constant just like hers. It's clear how the girls annoy him too, because he keeps glaring at them and twice, he made one of the girls' ink explode.

The first task is tomorrow, she is trying to find anything else that might help Harry with his summoning spell, and the library is empty besides her and Malfoy, so the moment the giggling and screaming starts, Hermione knows Krum has arrived and so have his fans. 

Distracted at their stupidity she doesn’t notice the blond standing at the end of the corridor.

"When you are done, come sit at my table" Malfoy says once she finds him standing him.

"What?"

"You asked for my help, didn't you?” 

“Well, that was before you hexed me.” She replies annoyed and he smirks before leaving. 

After picking two more books, she walks towards his table and sits down in front of him and Malfoy ignores her entirely. 

Five minutes passes and he still hasn't acknowledged her. She’s confused, the blond said he was going to help but Malfoy keeps reading something about Herbology. She hadn’t noticed she was staring until Malfoy sighs and shakes his head.

"Granger, I can hear you thinking inside that big head of yours. Try taming that monster hair of yours and maybe you'd understand things more."

After four years of this, is easy to ignore his comments. "You said you'd help. I'm waiting."

"Viktor Scum is signing autographs now, but once he's done, he's going to look for you and when he finds you siting with me, he won't approach you and then leave."

"How do you know he won't approach?"

"The guy hates me."

"Okay, but who doesn't?" She asks sarcastically and Malfoy sneers.

"Here he comes." She makes to look but he holds the sleeve of her robes, "no don't look," she looks at where he’s touching, and Malfoy quickly takes his hand off, cleaning them on his robes, "Merlin, stop being so dumb! Start talking."

"Why? About what?" Malfoy sighs again and grabs one of her books, opening in a random page and reading something.

“Oh this is easy… This symbol is really similar to this one, so you need to look carefully, the difference lies in the small dot on top of this trace here, are you following Granger? Because you just translated this as Coward but it is in fact Choice, which has nothing to do with the other…”

"Wha--" She starts confused, but then realizes what he is doing and soon joins him, asking a question she knows the answer to.

"Keep talking, he's walking in our direction and for fucks sakes Granger don't look!"

"Herm-yo-nine." Krum calls, unsure and Hermione raises her head to look at him. He is standing in defensive, his face is hard, and his eyebrows are knitted together.

"Do you have anything important to say or are you going to just stand there? We have important things to do, differently than you, who is extremely busy being an idiot." Malfoy snaps

"I-- No, I wanted to say hi, I vill leave you two to your vork." Krum says apologetically and after nodding to Hermione, walks off.

A couple of noises can be heard and the two see the girls picking up their stuff and leaving the library after Krum.

"Did you have to be that rude?"

"Please. If I hadn't said anything, he would have hung around and worse than the brainless girls over there, is he miserably staring and pining over you." Malfoy says and she completely ignores him and changes the subject.

“And how did you know about that? You don’t take Ancient Runes!” She asks, her tone is impressed, even though she had tried to be nonchalant.

“I happen to find this subject interesting, so I read one or two books.” Malfoy shrugs and goes back to his reading.

 

November 26th, 1994. Hogwarts Library. Day 21.

On the next day, Hermione has the second period free and she knows Malfoy has too, so she walks in the direction of the library, because five minutes in the Gryffindor common room has proved impossible to find quiet, as they are still celebrating Harry’s performance with the dragon, so she left. She spots him in the same table as always and without thinking too much, flops down on the sit in front of Malfoy and ignoring the bewildered look on his face, opens one of her books.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Sitting.”

“I noticed Granger, but why are you sitting here?”

“I saw Krum heading to the library.” She doesn’t elaborate and Malfoy huffs and scowls at her.

 

December 10th, 1994. Hogwarts Library. Day 35

“This obsession with me Granger is getting a bit weird,” Malfoy says without looking up from his homework, after she sat in front of him for the fifth time in two weeks.

“Have you done Professor McGonagall homework?”

“Of course,” Malfoy scoffs. “And I’m not showing you, so piss off.”

“I don’t want your homework, it’s probably all wrong.”

“Oh please, we all know my homework is perfect, the only reason you are top of the class is because McGonagall favors you.”

“She does not!”

“Yes, she does, and everyone knows it.”

“And you are only top of class in Potions because Snape favors you! So, we are even!”

“He favors me? Are you daft? I’m top of class because I’m that good! My potions are perfect, and I manage to keep my hair in place while brewing!”

“Obviously! Your hair is so greasy, I have my doubts your hair know what water is! Oh! That’s may be the reason why Snape favors you! You two are greasy hair buddies!”

“Shut up! Your hair looks like a blind bird made a nest and then fought a war on top of it!”

“At least my hair is not as bad as my personality!”

“What are you on about?”

“You have no friends! Because you are an annoying prat who thinks he’s better than everyone!”

“Oh! And you have friends? Please, being Potter sidekick with Weasley is not being friends.”

“How would you know about friendship Malfoy?”

“Merlin, you are so annoying!” Malfoy sneers and picks up his stuff and gets up, leaving her alone.

 

December 12th, 1994. Day 37

Not two days later, they are back at sitting together, with Krum sitting two tables behind them.

“Your boyfriend is plotting my death behind your back” Malfoy says after twenty minutes of silence, their new record. Now is just a matter of seconds till they start arguing.

“Great! I might go there and help him,” She mutters, without stopping writing in her essay.

“Please Granger,” Malfoy scoffs, “we both know between everything-that-is-good-Gryffindors and that giant dumb bear, my odds in being killed is null.”

“Oh, you are so full of yourself aren’t you Malfoy, but let me remind you that I did punch you in the face last year and you went crying away calling for your father.”

“Shut up!” Malfoy hisses angrily, “I needed to disinfect my face for hours to get your mudblood germs away from me.”

“I bet you did.” Malfoy doesn’t reply, so they go back to their books and parchment. 

Even though they still despise each other and wish to be anywhere but near the other, they both mutually agreed that their arrangement is their best option. In the library, Malfoy’s dumb followers don’t come looking for him, so he’s unperturbed. The same thing with Hermione, as Harry and Ron had vowed to stay as far from the library as possible and the Gryffindor common room is as loud as hundreds of Mandrakes. And with sitting together, Krum visits to the library became lesser and quicker, making the horde of fans wait for him elsewhere.

 

December 13th, 1994. Hogwarts Library. Day 38

“What do you think of the badges I made? I didn’t get the chance to ask that day.” Malfoy asks on the next day and shows his Potter Stink badge.

“Pathetic.”

“Oh, right I forgot you two are a thing now and by the way, the teeth I gave you really suits you…”

“Shut up Malfoy.”

“Or is it Krum still? I haven’t seen him here today. Was he heartbroken with the discovery?”

“Impressive. I thought you were better than those people who read Skeeter’s articles, but then again, what else could I expect from you?”

“I don’t read her articles!” Malfoy says, looking offended, as if she had insulted him with such thing, “I’m only saying what I’ve heard in the Hogwarts corridors.”

“Oh, you are the gossipy type. Mighty Malfoy susceptible to mere gossip! How will the Malfoy family react to such ordinary behavior?”

“Ha- ha, don’t try to be funny Granger, it doesn’t suit you.” Malfoy snarls but she can notice signs of a grin on his lips, which makes her smirk.

She almost made him smile. This is a new one.

“Please, you find me hilarious.”

“Is your hair eating away your brain? Because you seem to be missing a couple of brain cells.”

“Talking about my hair again? Aren’t we over that? Come on Malfoy, surprise me.”

“How can I ever be over that offending hair? And by the way, I have plenty of insults about your person, I’m just saving for better opportunities, you see, you make so easy to me insult you.”

“And about that badge, the Weasley twins are making one to insult you and it’s a thousand times better than yours.”

“Oh, is it? I’m serving for inspiration to the Twinsleys? I’m honored!” Malfoy says sarcastically, and she rolls her eyes. She still has to find a way to rip his scowl away from his face, “And it’s a shame Viktor Scum is such a tool, because it leave me to root for Diggory… who thought? Hufflepuff remembering people of its existence.”

“You could still root for Fleur, you do know she is in the competition, right?”

“Please, that girl will get herself killed in no time.”

“On top of being racist, you are sexist too?”

“I’m not being sexist Granger. I do recognize the power and strength of the female sex. The problem is not her being a girl, is just about who she is. Delacour is missing brains. Rumor has it she still didn’t cracked the Egg’s message, which I’m pretty sure Potter hasn’t either, if your books give anything away,” he pointed to her scribbles and she quickly took it away from his sight, “but in the first task her dragon was the easiest and she took the longest to get the egg, almost getting burned twice. I’ve seen her walking around Hogwarts lost and looking a little bit crazy. This tournament is stressing the hell out of her.” 

She looks at him astonished; this is the most he had spoken to her in all of these weeks sitting together. He seems to have realized that because he scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“So, you agree you are racist?”

“I said all of that and this is what you caught?” She shrugs but stays quiet. He hasn’t called her mudblood in days now, not even when passing by in corridors, where once he would simply say mudblood as way of greeting.

And if she thinks about it, he has yet to insult her outside the library this week. But she remembers him calling Harry and Ron names the other day in the way to Charms and completely ignoring her.

 

December 22nd, 1994. Hogwarts Library. Day 47

As the days passed, Krum had finally got the courage to speak with her more than two sentences and invited her to the Yule Ball, which she agreed honored. They both talked outside the library and she found she liked him. Krum is nice and far from the image he portrayed. They had almost nothing in common, but she found hilarious the way he pronounced her name or seemed interested in her muggle life. She also talked about the library situation and agreed to meet near his ship, since she goes to the library to study and his fans make it almost impossible. Which he agreed and so, she hadn’t had a problem with the girls in weeks.

She doesn’t tell Malfoy about it, because in a masochistically way, she kind of likes his company. Not like, no. But she doesn’t hate per se. Malfoy is clever, he follows her explanations and line of thought in a way neither Harry or Ron can. After a lot of insisting and insults, they started a method. They trade homework, correcting each other’s work and giving opinions – critics mostly as they are both terribly stubborn – and he helps her in Potions, because it isn’t really favoritism in Snape’s part, and she helps him in Muggle Studies because he simply refuses to understand. But most of all, they spend their time together in silence and the only sounds are huffs or scowls when one remembers whom it is they are sitting with. 

On the week of the Yule Ball, the classes are over, signaling the beginning of the Christmas holidays. Three days before the ball, Hermione arrives in the library just after breakfast, it is empty as it is still early, and the students don’t have any reasons to be there. Sitting in the table in front of Malfoy’s usual, she opens her stuff and starts to try to decipher the egg as Harry is failing miserably. Hermione jumps with the sound of Malfoy flopping in the seat in front of her and without acknowledging her, opens a book. 

A muggle book.

Her eyes widen, he is reading The Tempest by Shakespeare. And that not being enough, he had chosen to sit with her instead of sitting on his table.

That is pure gold.

“This is a muggle book.”

“I am aware of that Granger.”

“And you are reading it.”

“Indeed I am.”

“Why?”

Malfoy sighs before answering, “I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. I searched his novels, and this seemed to be the less boring, without 12-year-old killing themselves because of love they experienced for a total of two days.” She laughs, and he makes a horrifying face at the sound, she rolls her eyes.

“It’s a good book”

“If you let me read it, then I can answer you that.” 

She is quiet after that, but every now and then she looks at him and watches his expression while reading. And it fascinates her.

Malfoy’s brows are furrowed, probably because of muggle terms he isn’t familiar with and he stubbornly refuses to ask about it, but sometimes she can grasp curiosity and excitement in his eyes, or in the sounds he makes in appreciation.

While reading, Malfoy doesn’t have the usual scowl plastered, or his smirk. His face isn’t showing any disgust towards the whole world and his posture isn’t rigid or pompous. Malfoy looks relaxed and calm. His legs are resting on the window, his back resting in the cushioned chair, and his clothes are disheveled, which is a huge contrast to his every day pristine robes. Hermione realizes he’s human after all.

Hermione has never seen anything more beautiful than the sight of Draco Malfoy being comfortable. 

 

December 25th, 1994. Great Hall. Day 50.

“I thought you said he wasn’t your boyfriend.” Malfoy says behind her, making her jump.

“He’s not. We are just friends.” She says, careful to not show the confusion on her face. It is the first time Malfoy has addressed her outside the library since their thing started.

“Are you sure? Because it’s not what it looks like…” Malfoy asks. He has his hands crossed on his chest and his hips are leaning on the drink’s table, his eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks annoyed.

“Yeah… I don’t like him that way and—“

“So why did you come with him then? He’s a tool.”

“He was the only one who asked me.” She shrugs and then blushes, realizing what she just said. God, he will torment her with that.

“What?” Malfoy asks, and she can hear his smirk. Prat. “Extremely annoying Gryffindor know-it-all wasn’t overflowing with invitations? I’m astonished! How could this happen?” Malfoy puts one of his hands in his chest and makes a confused face; she rolls her eyes at his theatrics.

“Ha-ha. Hilarious.” She replies, her eyes narrowed, “Better come with Viktor than with the annoyingly narcissist Parkinson. Has she stopped looking at herself enough to notice what is going on? Or to even know she’s here with you?”

“Please!” Malfoy scoffs, “I thought I was the narcissist one? What happen to my title and my ‘inability to see two fingers in front of me because my eyes are two busy trying to look back at me?’ as you so creatively put?”

She can’t help but laugh at that. She had said exactly that a few days ago and he’d made such an offending face and blubbered affronted explanations. Right now, Malfoy chuckles with her and then, both starting laughing.

George and Fred must have had poured some firewhiskey inside the punch because this is not normal.

After a couple of minutes of uncontrollable laughter, she shakes her head and breathes, trying to calm herself. He does the same.

“Well, this is unexpected.” she says.

“Yeah,” Malfoy says after recomposing and quickly erases the smile of his face, “I need to go, Pansy is waiting for her drink” Malfoy motions to the drink in his hand.

“Yeah, me too.” She mumbles and blushes in embarrassment.

“See you around Granger” Malfoy says and nods his head at her “You look great tonight” he mumbles under his breath when he passes her, but she probably misheard him. The Great Hall is too noisy, and the punch probably is bathed in illegal alcohol. Because there is no way Malfoy would complement her.

But even knowing she had misheard him, she can’t help the blush on her face and neck.

Deciding against to think about what had happened, she searches for Harry and Ron. She hasn’t talked with them yet.

“Hi.” She greets, after finding them sitting in a table near the Great doors, and sits by Harry’s side, “Where’s Parvati?”

“Off to dance with someone.” Harry replies, without taking his eyes off Cho, Hermione rolls her eyes. He is pathetic, Hermione nudges him, and Harry finally looks at her, smiling knowingly, “Where is your date off to?”

“Viktor’s just gone to talk to some of his Durmstrang friends, I went to get some drinks but saw you guys."

“Viktor?” Ron asks, giving her a withering look, “so you two are on first name’s base already? Soon you will be calling him Vicky! Has he finally got your name right? Or is he calling you Mione too?”

She looks at him in surprise, “What?” Ron scoffs and she is beginning to understand what is happening.

“I’m not going to tell you, if you don’t know”

“What are you on—“

“He’s from Durmstrang!” Ron spits, “he’s competing against Harry and you are—you are fraternizing with him! With the enemy!” Ron says angrily and gesticulating in her general direction as if the problem is her entirely.

“The enemy? Don’t be so stupid! The enemy! Weren’t you just yesterday blubbering about how you wanted Harry to get you an autograph? Or when you were waxing poetry about his Quidditch and ‘oh he is so strong’? Honestly Ronald what is your problem?” She roars, red in the face. She knows exactly what his problem is, but she wants him to finally say it.

She is so mad at him; she doesn’t notice they are drawing attention to them.

“Did he ask you when you were in the library? I heard he got to spend a lot of time there.”

“Yes, he did.” Says Hermione and at that Ron gets up from his seat and starts walking away from the Great Hall, she follows. “Where are you going? We are not finished!”

“I bet he asked you as a way to make you shut up about S.P.E.W, since it’s the only thing you seem to talk about these days.”

“What? No! I’ve never—Not even—You want to know what he said?” She yelled when he was in the first steps of the Great Staircase. “He said he was coming to the library all those times because he wanted to talk to me and ask me out, but he couldn’t get me alone –“ She stopped, blushing. That was a new level of information; neither Ron nor Harry needed to know. Harry seemed to follow and raised his eyebrows in confusion.

“I BET!” Ron yelled, he was as red as his hair. “But he’s probably just using you to get information.” he said nastily, and she narrows her eyes at him

“And I hope you are not implying what I think you are.”

“It’s obvious, isn’t it? He’s trying to get closer to Harry and information about him and for you to discover what the egg means as he doesn’t have the brains to do it!” he said with venom, “It’s not like he’d want to spend time with you anyway.”

And she felt like being slapped, her eyes watered, and her voice quivered when she replied. “He never asked a single thing about Harry or his egg! We don’t even mention the tournament when we talk.”

“Please Hermione! Are you taking me as an idiot? If you are not blabbering about S.P.E.W or helping him with the egg or talking to him about the tournament, what is left for you two to talk? Books? I can’t think of one person who would be interested about Arithmancy, Ancient Runes or whatever subject you take to go on and on about!”

“I will have you know that I talk—“ She started, outraged, but then stopped, remembering she couldn’t blurt out that she talked about these topics with Malfoy.

“You shouldn’t be hanging out with Krum while you are Harry’s friend—“

“I don’t really have a problem with that Ron—" Harry said, but both friends ignored him.

“I want Harry to win!”

“You do have a hell way of showing it! Everyone was talking! You parade around Krum as if your best friend isn’t competing in the same tournament! Showing your support to Durmstrang instead of Hogwarts!”

“No one is saying a thing! You are deluded! I’m not supporting Viktor and everyone knows that! I was just making friends!” She said hotly.

“This tournament is not about making friends, it’s about winning!” he yelled, and more and more people were circling them.

“Dumbledore said—“

“Oh please! As if anyone cared about that bullshit about fraternization with other schools! Anyway,” he crossed his arms defiantly, “why don’t you go find where Vicky is, I bet he’s looking for you.”

“Don’t call him Vicky!” She fumed, but then took a deep breath and looked in his eyes before saying, “Well, you do know what the solution is if you don’t like it or want me talking to him, don’t you?” she pressed, her face still hard in anger, her hair which was beautifully put together was now disheveled, coming off her braid. 

“What?”

“Next time, think of me as girl and ask me first, before anyone else, and not like I am your last option!” She yelled, not caring about the group of people listening and gasping.

Ron opened and closed his mouth countless time before coming out with something. “Well,” he sputtered, “This has nothing to do with the point—“

“Leave!” She exploded, “Disappear from my face! Now!” And looking at Harry, “you too!”

Both boys quickly started to walk up the stairs, “she’s crazy!” She heard Ron whisper to Harry.

“Shut up!” She yelled at him and then sat at the steps, breathing rapidly, trying to calm herself, “what are you all looking at?” She seethed. “Don’t you have anything to do?”

The group quickly scattered and soon she was alone on the steps, fiddling with the hem of her dress, which got caught in her heels.

“You know, he doesn’t deserve even half of you,” a voice said, and she looked up to white-blond hair and grey eyes. 

Malfoy stood in front of her, with his hands on his pockets, kicking absently at the floor. His eyes were void of malice or any other emotion she was always quick to relate to him. He reminded her of the way he looked while reading The Tempest.

She could have replied with ‘leave me alone’, or ‘I’m not in the mood for your words’ because it was true, she wanted to be left alone and didn’t want to hear any mean comments he probably had, but she chose to just sigh and, “the worst of it all, is that I know” and it probably surprised him because he didn’t reply immediately, and Malfoy always had a reply on the tip of his tongue. Draco just nodded and started to climb the steps; she didn’t look after him, too stressed and tired after her tantrum. 

A little blue flower, matching her dress, appeared on her side and with a flourish, transfigured in a glass of water, she snapped her head to see if it was him, but all she could see was black robes turning left on the first-floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are like payment for writers


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: The characters in this story are not mine: they belong to JK Rowling

September 9th, 2003. St. Mungos. Day 5421

 

“You’ve been under for over twelve hours.” Harry’s voice snapped her back to reality.

“What? What time is it?” Hermione asks confused, looking outside and seeing sunlight.

“A couple of minutes past seven in the morning.”

“Wow.”

“I wanted to visit before work and found Zabini sitting here and looking marveled, saying it’s been days since you last spent that much time awake.”

“I didn’t fall asleep today” Hermione says happily, “Ron came visit before going to your place… Then I waited for Blaise to return and—I didn’t sleep!”

“Yes” Harry answers with a small smile, “I guess you really wanted to be awake.”

“I did.”

“Zabini told me whose Pensieve this is, and he told me he almost told him.”

“And I almost wished he did.” Hermione says in a whisper, “I just saw fourth year, when we started talking, we were so small…”

“That we were… Despise how it ended; it was one of my favorite years.”

“Of course, almost getting killed four times instead of the ordinary two per year was a nice change.” Hermione jokes and she’s glad when Harry chuckles, the stress lines disappearing from a moment.

“You know, I never asked how it happened, you and Malfoy, but then I remember things from our school years, that I wonder how I’ve could not notice.”

“Like what?” Hermione asks curiously. 

“How, during our entire fifth year he didn’t insulted you once, or when we were all being held at Umbridge’s office, I noticed Malfoy hadn’t stole your wand and didn’t understand why, and in our sixth year, you would defend him every time I called him a Death Eater and when Ron told me you told everyone to get somewhere safe because you knew the Death Eaters were coming…” Hermione smiles at him and nods, “it was small things, but it was there. When you told me, I fully believed he had used you, but then we were at Malfoy Manor.

‘And Malfoy’s panicked look on his face when he saw us, his wide eyes at your bump and the way he kept looking at you and Bellatrix, the way he refused to confirm it was me and when Lucius recognized you, he walked to him and started to say he wasn’t sure, that it didn’t look like you. 

‘When Ron and I were waiting for the best moment to attack, I saw his face and he looked terrified, his parents were holding on his arm and he tried to shake them off. When we were dueling him and Narcisa, he not once fired at me and was the first one to drop his wand when Bellatrix got hold of you again, I remember calling him stupid in my head, because the warning clearly it wasn’t for them.

‘The moment the chandelier fell, the strangled noise he got out of him was worse than Ron’s and he moved to get you out of that, but Ron pushed him to the floor and pulled you out. 

‘Back then, I didn’t really think much about it, but that day, seeing him as panicked and terrified as Ron. No, he was worse, not only were you being tortured in front of you but also his kid, and to hear his own aunt saying the things she said about you and the baby…”

“Harry…” She cried.

“I’m sorry, I—“

“It’s ok. I just wish that day didn’t exist.”

“We all do.”

They stayed together for over an hour, just talking, remembering their school years and the war.

After the war, the ones who knew about Hermione’s pregnancy knew to keep it a secret, no one asked about babies and on September 1st Hermione boarded on the Hogwarts Express to finish her education. For that first year, she didn’t know about Caelum’s whereabouts, but once every month she’d receive a letter telling her everything she needed to know.

For three years, there was still Death Eaters at large, so Hermione decided to let her parents Obliviated while they were will being rounded up, not wanting to risk their safety. When everything was safe again, it was simply to late. The spell was too deep, they had plenty of new memories, the dangers of messing up their heads were too great.

She kept an eye on the trials, which were going annoyingly slow. She caught pieces and bits of Professor Slughorn and Headmistress McGonagall conversation one day, where she learned they were being purposefully slow, because the Ministry had the keys to the vaults of the families arrested, which was of the utmost interest for the Ministry, as a great number of the supporters were extremely wealthy. Hermione also learned that they were most focused on finding the Malfoys, whose vault they were eager to get their hands into was the only one they hadn’t got the keys.

After graduating, she got a job in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, along with Harry and Ron and secured herself in the job of finding the missing Death Eaters, it didn’t take her long to become Head of her department and the sole responsible of finding the Malfoy’s.

Every time the ministry was close on them, she’d intervene and come up with fake leads and smuggle owls out to warn them. At the same time, Theo Nott, who was also working in the M.L.E, but for the Wizengamont, was trying to file for a pardon so they could return.

The ministry denied every single petition for clearance from Theo without thinking twice and during Christmas of 2000 the Malfoys run came to an end. An Auror, in vacation in Budapest, stumbled on the family and warned Shacklebolt instantly.

Hermione only had time to ask Pansy for a portkey and send Daphne there to bring Caelum back before a team of Aurors arrived and brought them in.

 

July 2nd, 2001. Wizengamont.

 

“Harry, they are going to lose!” Hermione half-cried, half-hissed as the trio watched their trial.

The corruption regarding their trials was immense. Lucius Malfoy was being accused of crimes he had committed during the first war, for Dark Arts’ artefacts in his house, for coercing his son and wife to join the Death Eaters, for threatening the other 11 Hogwarts’ governors to expel Dumbledore during 1993 and much more. Narcissa Malfoy, who never got the mark, was being charged for funding the Dark Lord’s campaign with the Black’s fortune, as Bellatrix, née Black, was dead and couldn’t be blamed. And Draco, charged for bringing the Death Eaters to Hogwarts, causing many injuries upon the students and Dumbledore’s death. 

This is the first time she is seeing him after that night in the Great Hall three years ago. Draco looks terrible; his hair is reaching his shoulder and is completely dirty, his face looks sullen and bruised, Draco is a lot thinner and he keeps looking around with wide, empty eyes.

After the last battle, Draco went after their son and then the entire family disappeared in the world, Draco occasionally sent her letters and photographs to keep her updated, but she had missed them too much. 

Hermione had just got her baby back; she isn’t going to lose Draco again.

“This is exactly what Shacklebolt wants.” Ron answers, clearly non-preoccupied and unaware of the real reasons.

“We can’t let them rot in Azkaban! She saved your life! And Draco too, Harry! Please.” She cries again, clutching tightly onto Harry’s sleeve.

“You can’t be serious Hermione!” Ron hisses, “they are Death Eaters, they are evil, they are getting what they deserve! Malfoy and his family spent the last three years on the run! And did you forget my sister was almost killed because of that diary Lucius put in Ginny’s caldron?”

“I bet you are dying to see him being charged by that as well!” Hermione snaps and then turns to Harry again. “Every single other Death Eater were judged by their actions in the war. They are being charged for their whole lives! They defected Harry! In that one hour armistice, they defected.” Hermione is begging him now, her eyes full of tears.

“What do you want me to do Hermione?” Harry asks exasperated, “I know this trial is just for covers and they never wanted to give them a chance to defend themselves.”

“We can defend them.” The two pairs of eyes widen at her, obviously not expecting that, “we can vouch. Harry please.” Hermione begs, she can’t live in a world where Draco got sentenced to a life in Azkaban. And after what happened to Sirius she knows better than to hope for justice.

“You are mad!” Ron said, “You lost your mind!”

“Harry.” Hermione says, looking Harry straight in the eye, ignoring Ron.

“Please don’t make me regret that.” Harry sighs and gets up from his seat, Hermione following quickly. 

Everyone stopped talking, she can see Draco’s grey eyes widening and him shaking his head slightly, Draco looked a bit crazed and she has to fight the urge to cry.

“Yes, Mr. Potter, Miss Granger?”

“Hermione and I will be vouching in their defense.” A loud murmur begins around the room, the Weasleys are not at all pleased, McGonagall looks like they just outdone themselves in terms of wrong things, Shacklebolt is looking particularly betrayed.

“This kind of people don’t deserve anyone to vouch for them.” Shacklebolt says with tight lips.

“Both Lestrange brothers and Nott Sr. had people vouching for them.” Hermione starts, her voice cracking, “we fought for a fair world and for this, everyone should be tried fairly.”

“What are you insinuating Miss Granger?” 

“Nothing at all. May we start?” 

Shacklebolt begrudgingly nods to the empty chair beside the caged family. Harry sits first, Hermione stands beside him and near Draco’s small cell.

“First of all, the Malfoys defected in the middle of the war, during that one-hour armistice, when we were clearly losing as so many of us had died but they also helped us a couple of times before defecting—“

“Some people could argue if they really defected as they disappeared moments later Voldemort was destroyed and just reappeared after every single Death Eater was already caught.” Shacklebolt retorts and Hermione opens her mouth to protest, to explain, but Draco’s eyes are pleading her to stay quiet.

“Secondly,” Harry continues, ignoring the interruption, “during the Skirmish at the Malfoy Manor, when Ron, Hermione and I were captured by snatchers and delivered to the Manor, Bellatrix Lestrange wanted to be sure it was me before calling Voldemort and asked to Draco Malfoy to check and confirm it. He refused to confirm it, saying he wasn’t sure and that he didn’t know, when it was completely clear he knew—“

“But Miss Granger had thrown a Stinging Hex in your face, he could be confused, that doesn’t mean he did it to help—“

“He knew it was me. He looked in my eyes, whispered ‘what happened to your face?’ and his mother touched his shoulder and muttered ‘Draco, don’t’, he nodded at her.

‘He lied about Hermione too. Bellatrix wanted to know if was really her, ‘the mudblood who always follows Potter’ as she had put, and Hermione looked just like she looks right now and he denied, said it wasn’t her. Which saved her life, as Bellatrix was eager to kill her just because she was a muggle-born. He knew what was in stake if he was caught lying, but he did it anyway.

‘When Bellatrix saw we had the sword it was supposed to be in her vault, she went crazy and started to torture Hermione, I could hear from the dungeons Narcissa begging her sister to stop. 

‘During the Hogwarts battle, after Voldemort failed to kill me with the killing curse, Narcissa was the one to check if I was dead and when noticing I was still alive, lied at his face. It’s because of her lie that I survived. If she hadn’t lied, Voldemort would have used the curse again and I wouldn’t have escaped.

‘And in the Great Hall battle, they had already defected, and Lucius Malfoy deflected a killing curse shot in my direction and was fighting alongside Luna Lovegood, who is here to verify that, and helped her kill Dolohov.

“Saving you doesn’t make them innocent. They still were biggest supporters of Voldemort and did more than their share of helping him. Draco Malfoy still let those Death Eaters inside the castle resulting in Dumbledore’s death and Lucius Malfoy was his second-hand for many years and—“

“They weren’t his second-hand since the Battle of the Department of Mysteries” Hermione interrupted. “When Lucius failed to steal the prophecy from Harry at the Department of Mysteries and was sent to Azkaban, Voldemort refused to let him free and instead made Draco Malfoy a Death Eater as revenge. When he was freed, after the Dark Side got control of the Dementors and the Ministry, the family was the lowest in their ranks. Only remaining alive because Voldemort needed their fortune.”

“And how would you know that?” Shacklebolt asks and he is furious.

“I’m glad you asked Minister,” Hermione answers with a smile and she can hear Draco snort and then cough as disguise. Her heart warms knowing he isn’t as damaged as she thought, as he clearly still has his sense of humor. “The night of the battle in the Astronomy tower, I found Draco Malfoy in the corridors and he looked perturbed and scared, he stopped and pleaded me to make sure every single student was inside their common rooms.

‘I refused to do anything before he explained what was going on and he told me, exasperated and crying, about who he was and his mission to get the Death Eaters inside and kill Dumbledore, which was going to happen that night. I was about to hex him when he threw my wand away and confessed, he wouldn’t, he couldn’t kill Dumbledore, but if he didn’t bring the Death Eaters inside, Voldemort was going to kill him and his family. He explained to me their situation, told me they were in danger.

‘He asked me to notify the professors, he made clear to me to not say anything to Professor Snape, as that time he believed he was a Death Eater, and to call the Order as soon as possible.” 

“But Dumbledore still got killed.”

“Because it was what Dumbledore wanted! And you know that!” Hermione yells, Harry catches her arm and she tries to calm down, “It was his and Snape’s plan, because he was already dying due to a curse he got hit with when trying to destroy a Horcrux.

‘Draco Malfoy couldn’t know that and because of him no student was killed but two Death Eaters”

She feels ridiculous having to say that to Shacklebolt, as the man already knows all of this: knows Dumbledore’s plan, knows Draco had warned her because how else would she know about that? 

“And Draco also saved my life two times. First during the Quidditch World Cup when he warned me the Death Eaters were coming and were after muggle-borns, asking me to hide. Second, during the Battle of Hogwarts, I was attacked by Fenrir Greyback and it was Draco Malfoy who found me, calmed, cleaned and healed what he could and was going to get me in safety when Harry and Ron appeared.” Hermione looks at him with tears in her eyes, Draco’s own eyes are shining too.

“We are not saying they are heroes,” Hermione says, looking back at Shacklebolt, “but they are not the enemy. Many years ago, Lucius Malfoy chose to join Voldemort side, Narcisa and Draco never had a choice and the minute Lucius saw his family was in danger he did everything he could, in the only way he could, to protect them. They knew they could lose everything, lose each other by switching sides, but they did it anyway. They fought with us, fought for Harry. They chose to stay and help us even when many others from our side fled away. They did wrong things and for that they deserve to pay, but not with a life sentence to Azkaban and I wish, you as the Minister of Magic, to see that.”

“I suggest having them give money to help restore the magical world and to support the families who suffered great loses in the hands of Voldemort.” Harry says and the murmur around them is back, louder this time.

The Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement raises her hand, asking for silence and Hermione grips Harry’s shoulder nervously.

“Who, sitting here today, believes the Malfoy family needs to be sentenced with a life in Azkaban, please raise your hands” the woman says, and dozens of hands shoot up. It is the most crowded trial to date, in addition to the fifty members of the Wizengamont, forty others consisting in Hogwarts Professors, Aurors, D.A and former students.

Shacklebolt, Ron, Arthur, Molly, Ginny, Percy, Neville, Seamus, Professor Sprout, Hagrid, the Patils, Katie Bell, Anthony Goldstein, Alicia Spinett, Michael Corner, twenty-four members of the Wizengamont and four Aurors, two Hermione knew as Dawlish and Proudfoot, raise their hands.

Hermione quickly counts forty-four hands and immediately cries in relief.

“Who, sitting here today, believes the Malfoy family don’t deserve to be punished with a life in prison but have to give money to help restore the magical world and to support the families who suffered, please raise your hands.” 

Hermione, Harry, Theo Nott, Pansy, Blaise, Daphne, Goyle, Professor McGonagall, Luna, George, Charlie, Bill, Dean, Professor Flitwick, Professor Slughorn, Justin Flinch-Fletchey, Hannah Abbott, Ernest Macmillan, Zacharias Smith, twenty-six members of the Wizengamont, one Auror, Savage, raise their hands.

Forty-six people. She tries not to celebrate but soon after she can hear Blaise and Theo’s cheers, louder than the protests, mostly coming from the Weasley family, and she quickly looks at Draco, who is beaming at her.

He is filthy, his usually immaculate white-blond hair is greasy and near grey with dirt, his clothes are tearing, he has huge purple circles under his eyes and bruises all over his exposed skin and his mark is faded. 

And she loves him spite of. She focuses on his grey eyes and his smile. His eyes, which were void with emotion when Draco arrived, are now filled with happiness, love and gratitude.

“Forty-four to forty-six. The Malfoy family will be released after they sign their agreements with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, the Wizengamont and the Ministry. Narcissa Malfoy, will be on house arrest for six months and have her wand checked monthly until the end of her house arrest, Draco Lucius Malfoy will be on house arrest for a year and have his wand checked monthly until the end of the period and finally, Lucius Abraxas Malfoy will serve two years in Azkaban for his aid to Voldemort during the first and second war and after that will be put on a second trial and if approved will serve three years of house arrest and have his wand checked monthly until the end of that period. The ones who don’t require to be here can leave.”

‘I love you.” Hermione mouths in Draco’s direction and Harry escorts her out of there.

“They are going to murder us.” Harry mutters to her and Hermione nods.

“I don’t care, it was the right thing to do and besides, we didn’t do it alone.” Hermione is grinning when she says, and Harry nods his agreement.

“What the hell was that?” Ginny jumped at them, livid, the minute they are all outside.

Everyone is yelling, Hermione and Harry trying to show how unfair the Minister were being and the real reason behind their actions. The yelling and fight seemed to go for hours before it completely stopped, and four pairs of eyes stared behind her with closed expression and hands in fists. 

Hermione felt the hairs in her neck bristle when she smelled the perfume she knew so well. She turned around and the owner stood there, with his mother on his side.

“I want to thank you both.” Narcissa says earnestly.

“We only did what was right.” Harry says, as Hermione seemed to have lost her voice in the midst of Draco’s clean figure. 

“It meant a lot. It was a difficult position to be in. My family and I will be forever grateful.”

“Not at all, the both of you indeed saved our lives.” Hermione finally says, “and the second I realized what the Minister’s real intentions were, I didn’t think twice before acting. That wasn’t a trial, was a show to get inside your family’s vault.”

“Shacklebolt is getting the galleons he wanted right now. It’s a lot less than what he was hoping for, but it will keep him satisfied.” Narcissa says.

“And about that, can we talk to you in particular?” Draco asks, and Hermione is nodding even before Draco is finished.

“Hermione, I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Harry warns but she turns to him with pleading eyes.

“It will be quick Harry, don’t worry. I will meet you guys later.” Hermione says and Harry nods, thankfully taking the Weasleys with him. Hermione leads them to an empty office.

The moment they are alone, Draco steps closer and pulls her in his arms, holding her tight.

“Miss Granger,’ Narcissa voice is stilled, without an ounce of emotion. They pull back and Hermione can see how hard the Malfoy woman is trying to not cringe.

‘I owe you an apology and my eternal gratitude.” Narcissa begin, now with more gratitude than she showed when Harry and the Weasleys were around. 

‘What you said tonight in Draco’s defense is the reason why we can go home tonight. In my entire life, I never seen someone defend another person the way you did tonight. Said that, I want to apologize for what I let happen in my house. I shouldn’t have let my twisted sister torture a pregnant girl like that.

‘I also need to thank you for my grandson, not only because he’s a blessing even if he’s half-blood—“

“Mother.”

“But also, because he is the reason why we have money to come home to. I understand how hard it must have been to be away from him all these years and to keep his paternity a secret while we were in Azkaban.”

“I did what I had to do to keep him safe.” Narcissa nods in understanding.

“Miss Granger, I won’t say I agree with the choices my son made or to know what lead him to go against everything we raised him in the middle of a war. I won’t promise to change my beliefs in a night or to not make comments that sound like insults. But I want you to know that I recognize you as an intelligent, powerful, brave, honest, loving and loyal woman. That I understand Draco’s actions because I raised him to never settle for less than him and he chose you.” Hermione blushes and Draco take her hand in his and Hermione notices that Draco isn’t smiling anymore. Hermione already knows why.

“There’s a reason why you and my son can’t be together and it’s bigger than my family’s beliefs.” Hermione nods, her eyes burning with tears, “we’ve spent the last three years on the run, the past six months in Azkaban and you know, as well as I do why our trial took so long to happen.”

“When all family members of a family are in Azkaban, they have the right to the key to said family vault” Hermione says in the same voice she used to recite sentences from schoolbooks. Narcissa nods again.

“And given how they don’t know about Caelum and our vault is magically sealed with ancient magic and like most of Malfoy’s things are, the key is linked to the family by blood. For anyone who isn’t a Malfoy to open it, it is necessary to pour one drop of blood of every family member alive at the small ‘M’ carved on the key.”

“They were missing Caelum’s.” Hermione says, finally understanding why it took them so long to judge them.

“Exactly, they tried to postpone the trial for as long as they could without seeming suspicious.” Narcissa concluded. “As you already said you noticed, this world has changed and not in the way you hoped for when you were fighting the war. I can see where we are heading from the way the Minister is doing things, I know someday this will put my family at risk again.

‘Again, what my sister did to you in my house was unforgivable and I understand if you don’t want to ever set foot in there again,” Hermione nods immediately; she still has nightmares about the night. If Hermione never set foot in that place again, wouldn’t be enough. Narcissa sighs. “But you are an intelligent girl and I’m sure you had bigger reasons to hide his paternity than fear of your friends’ opinions.” 

Hermione stay silent, letting Narcissa continue, “I wish to keep raising him for you. He’s Draco exact copy, as I’m sure you’ve noticed” Hermione smiles a little, because it is true, the boy, even so young is the spitting image of Draco. Minus his eyes, which are Hermione’s. “The Weasleys are a noisy family and after what you pulled today, they are probably linking the dots already.

‘As being pureblood is the worst thing possible now and since we are in house arrest for a while, I can keep him far from the prying eyes and the questions so we both can make sure our loved ones are safe.”

“I won’t be away from him ever again!”

“I know, and I expected no less from you. We can make arrangements, meet at Miss Parkinson house, maybe?” Hermione nods.

“I will see him whenever I want and for as long as I want.” 

“Of course. I know it’s hard being away from your child.” Narcissa takes two steps closer and whispers the next part, “You were the one in charge of tracking us, and you purposefully sabotaged the ministry search hundreds of time and if they find out you were keeping this from them, Shacklebolt won’t be so lenient with you. In fact, I’m sure they won’t waste a second before pointing their wands at you.”

“I know. Harry and Ron said the same thing,” Hermione says, and she has tears in her eyes. “There’s so much hate going on right now. People haven’t forgotten, they are a long way from being forgiving. There’s so much prejudice towards the purebloods.”

“That’s right. It’s just a matter of time till new extremists start hunting down my kind.”

Hermione looks at Draco, who doesn’t look as surprised as Hermione by his mother offer.

“Mother, can I talk to her alone?”

“Of course.” Narcissa looks once again at Hermione and she can see respect in the woman’s eyes.

Draco holds her in his arms the second his mother left, “Merlin, I thought I’d never see you again.” He gasps, his nose burrowed in her hair.

“I don’t want to let you go,” Hermione cries, “I know we always said we could only have the walls of the castle, but I don’t want to be outside.”

“I know.” Draco sighs, “but it’s so much bigger than school rivalry, it’s Caelum’s life, ours.”

“He looks so much like you.” Hermione says, her face still hidden in his shirt, “he’s so smart Draco, he knew who I was the moment he saw me.” Hermione says, and Draco pulls her back slightly, just so he can see her, Draco’s eyes are filled with tears, but he has the most beautiful smile on his lips.

“Of course he knew, I told him about you every day.” Hermione smiles and Draco holds her face and kiss her.

It is their first kiss in so long, since the night of Dumbledore’s death and Hermione feels like she hadn’t breathed properly since. His lips are still as soft as she remembered, his tongue licking her bottom lip, making her open her mouth. She moans, and Draco’s hands leave her cheeks to pull her closer by her hips, pressing her against him. Hermione bites his lip and he smiles on the kiss before pulling back.

“Granger, what am I going to do without you?” Draco asks, his forehead resting on hers, his eyes are still closed, and she can feel his eyelashes brushing her skin.

She doesn’t answer, she wishes she knew the answer for that.

“Promise me you will be happy? You will find love again and start a family?” Draco asked after realizing she wouldn’t answer him. Hermione’s vision blurs with tears at his words.

“Draco, I can’t.”

“Please, promise me! I need you to be happy.” Draco begs her, his hands on her shoulders and Hermione knows he is trying very hard not to shake her.

“I promise to be happy and I promise to love you always, above all.”

Draco accepts this and Hermione cries again. She knows this is a lie, she knows Draco is everything, is the most she can ever feel and the only one. Hermione can feel Draco in her fingertips, her thighs, her chest, her hair, and her heart, everywhere. She could never feel anything else, anyone else.

And right now, Hermione needs him to lie to her, she needs to believe Draco could be happy without her, “I need you to promise me as well.”

“But I won’t Granger, I could never.”

“Please Draco, I can’t let you go this way.”

“I promise.” Draco says even though Hermione knows it is a lie. From the way Draco holds her, so close and so full of love to how his eyes are scanning every freckle, every imperfection in her face and his grey eyes are so full of emotion, of adoration, love. Draco holds her as she is his forever, and Hermione knows that she is.

Her mother said break ups were always painful, because even when you and the person fell apart, you still loved them once and it hurt, being alone, but her mother never told her how terrible it was to say goodbye to the person you loved with everything you are and to be loved with everything back and have to say goodbye when no one of them wanted to, when they were holding the other so tight, so close, not wanting to let it go.

“You need to go. It’s not safe for us being here.” Draco mumbles, but has yet to pull her away.

“He’s at Pansy’s, I will tell her to take him to your house.” Hermione says firmly, trying to not sound too choked even if her tears are drenching his new shirt.  
Draco nods.

“I love you,” Hermione whispers, like a secret.

Draco kiss her temple, closes his eyes and sighs, “I know,” keeping her secret.

He doesn’t say it, but Hermione knows all the same. He doesn’t need to, never needed to. Hermione already knows.

When she met the Weasley and Harry, looking disheveled and with puffy eyes, she knew they had figured it out. Molly and Ginny refused to speak of even look at her for months.

 

September 11th, 2003. St. Mungos. Day 5423

 

“You know, I haven’t seen you smile like that in ages.” She jumped and then looked at the door, where Blaise stood with a smile himself.

“I’m happy Blaise.” She replied and grinned at him, he rolled his eyes and walked in her direction, sitting on the side of her bed.

“I’m glad Hermione, but what about you and your happiness go to sleep? You stayed the whole day awake.” He said worryingly.

She pouted and he rolled his eyes again at her, “this is a good thing Blaise.”

“Yes it is. But what about you go to bed and then tomorrow you wake up and spend the whole day awake again?”

“You do know the odds of me waking up tomorrow are really small…” She replied, and he handed her the potions, she drank, trying to not make a face because of the awful taste.

“I know, but I do think it’s better to sleep for two or three days and then enjoy a whole day, then sleeping for a day or two and staying not even a half hour awake.” He insisted and laid her on her bed after taking the glass out of her hands, pulling her covers up and kissing her temple.

“Are you this attentive to all of your patients?” She asked smirking.

“No. Only the ones I’m secretively crushing on.” He replied laughing and she soon joined him, “I love you Hermione, you know that, right?” She nods, “And besides, you are really important to the two people that I care most about in my life.”

“Blaise?” 

“Yes?”

“I don’t want to die.” She cries, and Blaise looks stunned, his eyes starts to fill with tears and he sucks in a breath “I know you are trying everything, and I love you for that, but please, don’t let me die Blaise.” She sobs and he hugs her, crying with her.

“You are not going to die Granger. I’m not letting it happen.” He mumbles in her shoulder and they stay like that for a while, until she fell asleep to the sounds of his cries.

 

September 16th, 2003. St. Mungos. Day 5428

“Morning Hermione,” Ron’s voice greeted her, she didn’t need to open her eyes to know he looked worried. In his hands were her potions, she took it from him and swallowed it all, noticing it was stronger than usual.

“How many?” She asked in a raspy voice.

“Five.” He said sadly, and she snapped her eyes open, hating herself afterwards because the light blinded her.

“Shit.”

“You worried everyone, I was so scared Mione…” He cried, and she held his hand that was resting in her arm.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” He mumbled and dried his tears.

Her door opened again and Blaise walked in, “rise and shine Granger, how was your slumber?” He quipped, but the humor in his voice didn’t reach his face nor hid the dark circles under his eyes.

“It’s Weasley.” Ron sneered and Blaise rolled his eyes. Even Hermione had to contain herself.

The Weasleys had taken to call her a Weasley after she couldn’t get her parents’ memory back.

“I know your name Weasley, we’ve been buddies for years now, haven’t we?” Blaise’s voice snapped her out of her reverie. 

Hermione rolled her eyes at that, his voice way too filled with acid to be considered banter and Ron’s red face showed he knew that too. 

“Hermione is a Weasley for five years now Zabini! 

“Merlin’s pants Granger! How did you manage that? Is the Ministry sending your Order of Merlin, First Class soon? Because this is an act of outstanding bravery.” He joked and she snorted, making Ron livid, which only amused Blaise even more.

“Please Blaise, behave” She said between chuckles.

“Are you going to let him make fun of me?” Ron asked affronted.

“Ron, it’s the Slytherin humor, don’t take it to your heart.”

“Come on Zabini, do what you need to do here and go, I want to talk with Hermione alone.” Ron said and Blaise scoffed. 

Blaise quickly checked her vitals and whispered in her ear, “if you pretend to fall asleep on him, I will bring the Pensieve again.”

“What did you say?”

“Healer and patient confidentiality Weasley, I’m afraid I can’t disclose with you.” Saying that, he left the room, leaving Hermione with an annoyed Ron.

“Don’t take Blaise seriously, he only wants to get in your nerves.”

“He would do great to remember it was from my Protego he escaped that curse.” She rolled her eyes.

“It’s just banter, he’s really grateful about that you know.”

“I just wish he could do it quicker.”

“Me too.”

They talked for a while, Ron told the news about the family, handed Caelum’s new letter, told about Ginny’s upcoming match for the Holyhead Harpies, which made Hermione euphoric. He put her a par with what was happening in the M.L.E and in the Aurors department; a couple of people had gone missing and two families had their houses attacked. 

“Have the authorities warned the population?”

“Not yet, we are trying to trace down a pattern, but until now only two families were attacked. Millicent Bulstrode’s and Crabbe’s family, without mentioning the disappearances.”

“They were both pure blood and Slytherins, do you think they are going after Slytherins?”

“I don’t think this is a pattern, as most of the twenty-eight families are from Slytherin. It’s twenty families linked with Slytherin against eight linked with the other three houses.”

“Your family is one of them, aren’t you worried?”

“Me? No. The Weasley have been considered Blood Traitors for years now, I don’t think we are in danger.”

“Warn Theo Nott, Pansy Parkinson and Daphne Greengrass, they are working at the ministry and were in the same year as us.”

“We don’t want to scare them yet, it might be still only a rumor and coincidence. The families attacked only had their houses trashed.” Hermione was worried, but she knew better than to fully express the extent of her worry. She would have to warn Blaise and ask him to warn Draco and Caelum. “I’ve got to go now, the department is chaos, I’ll be back tomorrow.” He said, kissing her hair softly.

Later, when Blaise appeared with the Pensieve, she told him the information and also told it was confidential, warning him to not spread to no one but Draco, Theo, Pansy and Daphne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are like payment for writers


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: The characters in this story are not mine: they belong to JK Rowling

December 28th, 1994. Hogwarts Library. Day 53

 

“Why did you never talk to me about S.P.E.W?” Draco asked. 

It’s been three days after the ball and the first time she appeared in the library since that, as she was too embarrassed to see him or anyone else for that matter.

They’ve been in silence for almost forty minutes, he was almost finishing The Tempest and she was reading Merpeople: A Comprehensive Guide to Their Language and Customs, but she had the first volume of House Elves & Self-Hatred on the table.

“Because I know what your answer is going to be.”

“But that never stopped you before Granger, come on, ask me.” He said, closing his books and resting his elbows on the table, looking at her expectantly. She rolled her eyes.

“Do you want to join S.P.E.W?”

“No.” He answered simply, and she huffed. “Aren’t you going to ask why?” 

“Why, Malfoy?”

“Because it’s ridiculous.” She narrowed his eyes at him. “Really. It’s makes no sense what you are saying, and I won’t hold your lack of knowledge about house-elves against you because you are a muggle born and never had one or seen one working. So, I will explain everything to you.” He said proudly, as if he was doing her a favor, 

‘First, house-elves are not human, they don’t have the same kind of magic, they don’t think in the same way as us and hell, they don’t even age or reproduce in the same way as we do. Secondly, is in their nature to serve, which they proudly do and are immensely devoted and loyal to their masters,” she opened her mouth to say something about Dobby, but he beat her. ‘Dobby is one in a million case, that elf never really felt like we were his masters, I don’t know what was wrong with him. But before you say it, yes, he was incredible mistreated, but only in Father’s behalf, me and my mother we never abused him in any kind and I always said please and thank you,” at her widened eyes he scowled.

‘Please Granger; you must know I was raised to attend the highest expectations. I am a gentleman. But moving on, as I was saying, House-elves like being given orders, to work for their masters and they are creatures filled with self-hatred, so when you refuse to give them orders they think they’ve done something wrong and you’re punishing them.

‘You trying to give them clothes will be seen as an offense by them, as if you are not satisfied with their work.”

“I never—“

“I know that Granger. You are just trying to fill this world with rainbows and love. But this matter cannot be seen with a muggle mind-set. It’s not slavery as you so adamant put. House-elves exist in wizarding families for centuries and they are passed through generations. My family’s house-elf’s dad probably worked for my grandparents and so on, and that’s my third point, wizarding families are not going to support you and your organization because they don’t see anything wrong with it, as there’s nothing wrong with house-elves.

‘And so you know, when they are indeed being mistreated they will try and find loopholes in their masters orders and simply not do it, so if a master wants to be attended he will have to be nice. There you are, my opinion.”

She was impressed. She didn’t know about a lot of things he had said, as he was right, she never saw a house elf working or a house elf itself other than Winky and Dobby. After she saw the way Crouch was treating Winky and discovered Hogwarts had hundreds of house-elves she’d been so angry she didn’t think of search about them before creating her organization, only going to read about them weeks after as more and more people refused to join, and the house-elves appeared to be angry at her.

“But they still deserve salary and holidays! They can’t work nonstop without receiving anything!” She exclaimed, and he sighed.

“Well, they might do. But good luck on trying to get the house-elves to understand that. For them, what they do is an honor, not a job. The majority of them don’t see the need for it.”

“You were waiting for the opportunity to say all this for a long time, weren’t you?” She said evenly, and noticed the left side of his mouth curve upwards.

“Indeed, I was.” She chuckled and shook her head fondly. Malfoy was growing more and more in her affections. 

He was not all bad, she could see that now, he was incredible smart, witty, really observant and insightful. He was very closed off too, never wanting to show what his emotions really were, his face and eyes were masks, she could never read anything from them or from his posture, and intrigued her, as he was so different than her fellows Gryffindors. He gave off the cold vibe, but as everything else in his character, it was not the truth, as he’d shown her at the Yule Ball. Draco may not have the Gryffindor loyalty, but he had the Slytherin one. As he was incredibly loyal to his close friends and his family or anyone he considered his equal.

Snapping out of her thoughts, she pulled out of her bag the S.P.E.W pamphlets, pulling a new parchment out of her bag she wrote down new ideas for S.P.E.W. erasing the parts about giving them clothes and to not given them orders, putting instead things Malfoy had said.

“What are you doing? Haven’t you heard a word I said?” He asked, and she could hear the offended tone in his voice.

“Of course I did. Thank you very much for all of you said, I’m changing it.” She replied, without looking at him, trying to finish quickly. She handed him the new pamphlet, “what do you think? Honestly.”

He read everything with arched eyebrows and hummed, “It’s way better. Now you might find some people willing to join you.” He said with a shrug.

“Could you give some in the Slytherin common room?”

“Are you mad? There’s no way I’m being associated with this!”

“Why? You just said is much better!” She said, offended.

“Because it’s your organization! I have a reputation to maintain!”

“Oh! Of course!” She said sarcastically, “Godric forbid you do something with the muggle born.”

“You are right. This go all the way against my principles.” He said but it lacked his usual hatred, so she knew it was more for habit than anything else.

“Could you just put them somewhere in your common room? On top of a table or something? No one need to even know it was you who did it, please?”

He stared at her in disbelief; he was studying her, probably wondering if she was being serious, she held his gaze and he sighed in defeat. “Yeah, whatever. Give me some.” 

She beamed at him and quickly duplicated the new pamphlet and handed him a dozen.

“Thank you!”

“Don’t make a big deal out of it Granger.” He mumbled uncomfortable and she remained silent, picking up her book again and watching him do the same.

She couldn’t help but make a big deal about it. It was Malfoy, he was the least person on her mind who’d help her or talk to her about it, even if he was only trying to put some sense on her.

 

January 1st, 1995. Gryffindor Common Room. Day 57

 

It took her five days to be on speaking terms with Ron again, she was still a bit hurt, but knew better than to hold grudges at her best friend, who clearly was oblivious of her feelings for him.

The trio spent the majority of their Christmas break studying the egg and failing miserably, but it put her on ease knowing none of the other champions had figured out yet. Malfoy had gone home for a week before the term start so it gave her time to think about what the hell was going on. 

Sometimes she caught herself calling their interactions friendship, but she quickly shook her head and scowled at the thought. They weren’t friends.

Not yet anyway.

 

January 28th, 1995. Hogwarts Library. Day 85

 

Once the term started again and they were nearing the first week of February, Harry had cracked the egg and they were now trying to find a way to allow him to breath underwater and to know every creature that lived in the Great Lake. 

“So I reckon you solved the egg’s riddle?” Malfoy asked one afternoon.

She actually thought their ‘sitting together and talking’ thing was going to be over once he came back, as Krum wasn’t coming to the library anymore. But she was wrong. On the first Wednesday of the term, he was sitting in his usual table when she arrived in the library, he noticed her a couple of feet away and without any of them saying a word, he simply levitated his stuff from the chair in front of him and put on the floor, making her a seat. She quickly ended the distance between them and sat down.

And that was that.

“Yes, just last week.”

“Are you going to answer if I ask how you did it?” He asked curiously, and she blushed at his phrasing. He kept saying ‘you’ as if he knew she had done it and not Harry.

“It was a song, Harry bathed with the Egg and he discovered it—“

“What the hell was Potter doing with the Egg in the bath?” He asked horrified and she chuckled.

“Cedric told him to take a bath in the Prefect’s Bathroom and to take the Egg with him, as Harry had told Cedric about the dragons for the First Task”

“I really didn’t need the image of Diggory with his Egg under water, but please continue.” He shook his head disgusted.

“Harry did exactly that, and instead of that high-pitched, loud shrieking we could hear when opening the Egg above water, he heard a song when he opened under water.”

“What did it say?" He asked, interested.

“Come seek us where our voices sound, we cannot sing above the ground, and while you’re searching, ponder this; we’ve taken what you’ll sorely miss, an hour long you’ll have to look, and recover what we took, but past an hour – the prospect’s black, too late, it’s gone, it won’t come back.” She recited, having the thing memorized by heart.

Harry and Ron would kill her if they knew she was telling this to Malfoy of all people, but in a strange way, she knew he wouldn’t tell the other champions

“So, it’s in the lake? The second task?” He asked not even five minutes later, and she once again was surprised by his quickness. She herself took almost ten minutes.

“We figured that and that will take an hour. But we can’t decipher the last part.”

“Oh yeah, ‘an hour long you will have to look’ it makes sense, but what? It’s something missing from Potter?"

“No. I mean, not that he remembers…”

“Typical. But anyway, you still have three weeks, so” He shrugged, trying to pass as nonchalantly, but failing miserably.

 

February 23rd, 1995. Hogwarts Library. Day 111

 

As they entered the week of the second task, her homework started to pile up, as she was so busy helping Harry who still hadn’t figured out the rest of the message and how to breathe under water for one hour, therefore her visits to the library were even more frequent and her chats with Krum by the lake were completely put aside, but he said he understood, as he also needed to work on the task. 

“You look like a madwoman,” he blurted when he arrived at their table.

Theirs. 

Merlin’s beard she really had gone mad.

“I’m full of work. I was up all night almost every night this week trying to catch up with work and helping Harry, but it doesn’t matter how much I write or read, I don’t seem to be finishing anything and the task is tomorrow, and we have no idea what is it that they took.” He only hummed.

They did that a lot. She spoke long sentences and he only made sounds to let her know he was listening. It used to annoy her, but now she just recognized as one of his treats she found endearing.

Good Godric she needed to sleep ASAP. Malfoy being endearing was not a thought she should be having.

“I will regret saying this but… You can have a look on mine if you want?” He asked, and her eyes almost jumped out of its sockets. “Don’t look at me like that! You are the one who looks like just flew the Firebolt upside down in the middle of a hurricane.”

She could cry right now. In fact, her eyes were watering.

“What the hell Granger? It wasn’t an insult! Here you can have it” he said and pushed his Potions and Transfiguration work in her direction.

“I don’t know what happened, I swear!” She answered between chuckles and running a hand through her eyes, to dry them.

“You are crazy. That’s what happened.” He replies, and she could swear she heard a hint of amusement in his tone.

She quickly read what he wrote in both papers and nodded when she decided about what to write. She handed it back and he laughed at her, “what?” She asked suspiciously.

“You are so weird Granger, I literally just offered my homework for you to copy and you just read it over and gave it back.”

“I’m not going to copy what you did. It’s not right.” She said, as it was obvious. 

“Do you have any idea of how many people would think this way?”

“Only the Ravenclaws probably.” She shrugged, “but anyway, I just needed a light, thank you.”

“No problem. Glad I could help the brightest wizard of our time.” He said sarcastically, and she rolled her eyes while grinning.

Almost an hour and three essays later, he gasps, and she jumps at the sound, not expecting that.

“It says ‘we’!” He says happily, she furrows her eyebrows in confusion. Who was the mad one now?

‘I was thinking about the song—“

“You what?” She asks incredulously, he couldn’t be talking about the riddle.

“‘We’ve taken what you’ll sorely miss’ it says in the song right?” She just nods, “so it’s a we, a group right? And the only creatures smart enough that lives there are the Merpeople. Have you thought about researching about them?” He asked and before she could answer, he was speaking again, “Oh yeah, I saw you reading that book the other day… No, wait-- you said you deciphered the egg and you read that just after the Ball… How did you know?”

She was dumbstruck. Draco Malfoy had managed to surprise her three times in ten minutes. Not only he had offered his homework, which until now he had scowled at the mere sight of her looking at it, but was thinking about something who would help Harry, Harry of all people, his nemesis, to get through the tournament. And finally, he had remembered something she had read at the end of January, almost a month ago.

“It was coincidence—what—I don’t—“ She splutters and he rolls his eyes at her and summons a book. “How do you know that spell so well?” Was what she came up with, because really, she and Harry had a hard time practicing and Malfoy beating her friends prickled her skin.

“I can be lazy sometimes, Accio is ridiculously useful for these moments.” He shrugged and caught the book that came in his direction. It was the same one she read. 

Shaking her head, trying to clear the confusion and the not-so-acceptable thoughts about the boy in front of her, she focused on what was going on. 

“So, you think there’s something to do with the Merpeople?” She asks, he nods. 

“As we know of, there’s only the Giant Squid, Merpeople and Gryndlows in the lake. I mean, besides ordinary fish.”

“And the Giant Squid is just an animal, semi-domesticated, docile and who often helps the students. The Gryndlows are aggressive beasts, they are not beings, therefore there’s no way to involve them in the task.”

“Exactly. Not only that but the Merpeople are the only ones who can control them, meaning, they can keep Gryndlows away from whatever they took.” 

They both were grinning manically at each other, leaning on the table, almost on top of it, talking excitedly. Whoever saw they like that would think they’d gone mental. 

Scratch that. Whoever saw them would think they’d gone mental, as it was Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy.

“So, based on what I read, Merpeople are extremely intelligent beasts, they could’ve been considered beings, but they refused because they didn’t want to be in the same category as Hags and Vampires, as it says in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

‘They have their own language and create music—“

“--Another hint that it’s them, as inside the egg was a song!” he says and she nods enthusiastically

“They live in an organized society, have developed weapons—Wait! Oh!”

“What?”

“It’s obvious now! In Muggle history, Merpeople are known in literature and folklore, as beautiful creatures that have an enchanting voice and sing to lure sailors inside the water. As they are fascinated by humans and want to have them, they hypnotized them with their voices and they follow those creatures into deep water”

“So it’s people? But how could them take people?” 

“I’m pretty sure it’s people. You just said, ‘we’ve taken what you’ll sorely miss’, it has to be someone that it’s important to the champions, right?”

“Yeah, I agree, but--”

“Oh my god, you are brilliant!” She exclaimed excitedly, “I need to tell Harry, the task is tomorrow and we need to see who is missing—Thank you so much!” She kissed his hair and without really noticing what she had done, picked up her stuff and ran out of the library.

If she had looked behind her, he would have seen Draco Malfoy blushing astonished.

 

February 24th, 1995. The Black Lake. Day 112

 

“So, you are what Krum would sorely miss?” She heard a voice behind her and turned her head, already knowing to whom it belonged. 

Draco Malfoy was standing with his arms crossed, a slight frown on his brows, and as usual, his two bodyguards. Hermione thought about mentioning the fact that Draco was speaking to her with they right there, but them chose not to, as it was clear they were both stupid and would see their interaction as Malfoy teasing her.

Which, most of time, was the truth. 

“Yeah, I mean, you can understand right? He’s this famous player, always away playing for Bulgaria, he doesn’t have a lot of friends and since he’s been here, I’m probably the only person he talked to, like really talked to. Besides Karkaroff of course, so he would miss that, someone to talk to. I relate to him in that.” 

She probably had talked too much, but this wasn’t news, so there was no reason why Draco was looking at her like she had grown a second head.

“You don’t honestly think that, do you?” He asked perplexed. He still had a frown, but it was now puzzled instead of angry.

“What? Why?”

“That the only reason they choose you as his is because of that. Haven’t you got eyes? Honestly, that boy’s been lurking around the library since the day he got here! As twisted and fucked up that is, he likes you.”

“What? No! He—“ She didn’t had time to finish, because finally Harry was there, bringing not only Ron but Gabrielle too and the crowd erupted in cheers, hers included and when she looked back at Draco, he was already gone.

 

March 13th, 1995. The Wooden Bridge. Day 129

 

It was the second week of March when Draco and Hermione talked again. The fuss about the Second Task had died down for everyone but her. Skeeter had proved yet again a pain in the ass and Hermione still hadn’t figured out how the woman knew about what Krum had said. She was constantly receiving hate mail, howlers, hearing insults being thrown at her and even Molly Weasley was mad at her. Just two days ago she had received a letter filled with Bulbotuber pus and had to spend a day in the Hospital Wing. It was safe to say she was avoiding the Great Hall at all costs.

She was sitting in the middle of the Wooden Bridge, with her legs dangling in the air and a book on her lap. It was still early; most of the students were in the Great Hall having breakfast, Hermione would wait and then go to the kitchens for some food.

“You know, hiding it’s not at all Gryffindor-ish.” Malfoy said behind her, she rolled her eyes; she didn’t want his jokes right now. Without even looking up she noticed him sitting at her side, putting his legs the same way as she. “I started to think you had given up on our bonding time” She snorted, and he shook her head, “truly. My days at the library were overly quiet, without your usual monologue.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed my absence.”

“Oh no, you got it wrong. Let me rephrase that, my days at the library were extremely dull without your monologue and our everyday bickering.” He said, and she blushes a little, praying that Draco would see that as the cold wind.

This sounded extremely close to ‘I missed you’.

“You know, you could’ve said three words instead and the meaning would be the same.” 

This time was Draco’s turn to blush.

“Don’t flatter yourself Granger, not everyone will sorely miss you. I still think you are annoying and overly stubborn.” She snickers, as it was a matter of fact that he had worst insults about her person.

“You are not that bad either Malfoy.”

“Please don’t say it out loud” He said jokingly, and she kicked his foot playfully. He didn’t protest.

This was another thing that had changed between them: he let her touch him without making a face, sneering or brushing it off. She had even noticed him touch her arm to call her attention a couple of times.

“If I could summon the books, I needed out of the library to here, I would change my place of study. It’s nice in here.”

“Indeed.”

“And if it was as warm and cozy as the library.”

“The warmth can be changed. Just cast a heating charm.”

“I never thought of that one.” She mumbled.

“How not? I use it all the time in the Slytherin common room!”

“The Gryffindor common room is warm enough as it is. I never needed one.”

“Really? That’s probably because you are not in the dungeons like us, it’s freezing cold down there. You know, we are under The Lake.” She nodded

“It matches your personality.” She teased, and he rolled his eyes.

“Then you should be sleeping at the Slug Pit.”

“Really Malfoy? That was the best you could come up with?”

“Don’t push. I could’ve said worst” He said with a pointed look.

“So, I should be thanking you?” She snorted, “You are such a prat,” she shook her head, still laughing at him, “and by the way, you do realize you just made yourself gullible, since the Slug Pit is in the dungeons just like your common room.”

“Ha- ha.” 

She stopped laughing and sighed when she looked at the Courtyard.

“Breakfast is over.” She pointed to the people crossing the Courtyard, “you missed it.”

“I headed there before coming here, and I brought you food.” He said sheepishly and took it out of his bag a package of Cheeri Owls and two toasts, her mouth opened in a big O as she looked at him dumbfounded.

“So that’s why you came here.” She blurted and then immediately blushed.

“Is just food. Don’t make a big deal about it. You’ve been cowardly missing meals at the Great Hall for days now.”

“You know what happens when I’m there!” She snaps.

“Some girls are sending you hate mail, boo-hoo Granger! Who cares if Scum never felt that way about no one else?” He mocks her, his face is hard.

“I ended up in the Hospital Wing! Everyone laughed at me when I opened that letter!” She raises her voice, quickly starting to get mad at him.

“Well, whose fault was that? No one asked you to do that in the middle of The Hall!” He raises his voice as well.

“Why are you mad at me?” She is full yelling now. She gets up and locks her arms in her chest.

“Just because! You know how to defend yourself! Ignore those Hags, everyone knows Skeeter writes bullshit all the time!” He yells at her, getting up as well.

“I don’t like being made fun off! Or do you think I like being called names and laughed at? Do you think I marvel every time you call me names?”

“Why are you talking about me? I have nothing to do with that! I haven’t offended you in weeks and you know that!”

“You haven’t?” She raised her eyebrows in question.

“No! Don’t be ridiculous Granger and if you want to talk about my insults, why don’t we talk about the fact you always ignored them? Or threw it back at me? Oh! Or punched me? Remember that?”

“Because I didn’t care about what you had to say about me!”

“And you care about what a bunch of anonymous girls say?”

“Of course not!”

“So why the fuck are you hiding? Why are you spending all your time alone instead of with your friends?”

“Because they are calling me names too!” She exploded. “Or do you think I’m just playing the martyr because of anonymous letters? Lavender Brown, from my dorm room put pins in my bed the other night! Romilda Vane spilled ink in my books! Seamus, who just the other day was accusing Harry of putting his name on the goblet, called me a heartless cheating bitch!” She was making a scene. Her eyes began to tear up and her breathing had become ragged. 

She noticed Malfoy’s expression changing, from angry to bewilderment. His eyes softened, and she almost cried at the thought of being pitied by Draco Malfoy, of all people. 

“And they call the Slytherins heartless and evil bastards.” 

“Don’t pretend that you care about what they are saying or that in Slytherin they aren’t saying worst things.”

“We Slytherins can be a lot of things, but we are extremely loyal to each other and we value fraternity. But you are both right and wrong Granger, they are saying worst things, but they are more interested in self-preservation than in getting in trouble for insulting the Gryffindor princess.”

She didn’t need an explanation to know about what she was wrong.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you. I don’t like when people call on my cowardice.” She mumbled embarrassed.

“Where you Gryffindors see cowardice, I see self-preservation.”

She smiled a little and shook her head. “You know, if I was in Hufflepuff, I’d call us friends by now.”

“Thank Merlin you are not, because you would be extremely deluded on top of it all” he said and started to walk in the direction to the castle.

“We are friends Malfoy. Stop being in denial” She called after him.

“Go get your head checked with Madam Pomfrey, Granger!” He replied without even looking at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are like payment for writers.


	6. Six

March 17th, 1995. Great Hall. Day 133

 

A couple of days later, Hermione got her shit together, as Draco had so nicely put. She stood up for herself and the jokes and insults died down. She went back to have her meals in the Great Hall and put a shrinking charm on Lavender’s clothes which made Draco laugh for hours. Both of them went back to hanging out together at the library and Draco still refused to call Hermione his friend.

It was a miracle how no one had caught up with hers and Draco’s newfound friendship. They spent Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays together in the library; in the weekends, when they didn’t have Hogsmeade visits, they would sit by the Wooden Bridge in the mornings and on top of the Clock Tower on the evenings.

The only students who had seen them was Beauxbatons and second-year Hufflepuffs, neither likely to go spreading news. Peeves once caught them sneaking in the Clock Tower and started to loudly sing a song about time healing grudges and nemesis making amends, but the poltergeist shut up the minute Draco threatened to call the Bloody Baron.

 

June 5th, 1995. Hogwarts Corridors. Day 211

 

The weather was warming when they reached June; the ground wasn’t in that wetness that seemed to last forever in April or May. Hermione was glad she could wear skirts again. But June also meant exams and the last task. This year is a lot easier than last year, since she dropped two subjects, but she managed to get nervous all the same, as this year’s exams were preparatory for the next year’s O.W.L.S. 

The library this year was overflowing, as it wasn’t just the four houses studying but also Beauxbatons’ and Durmstrang’s students, who since November were having classes at Hogwarts as well.

It annoyed the hell of her when she arrived at the library after her last class of the day to see her table occupied and every other as well.

Stomping out of there, with a chuckling Draco Malfoy on her heels, or not so close, as they were not publicly friends.

She started to climb the steps of the stairs, all the way to the sixth floor.

“Where the hell are we going? If you plan on jumping out of the astronomy tower you could have told me before making me climb all these steps”, he said panting and she rolled her eyes

“Firstly, I didn’t make you do anything and secondly, as if I was going to kill myself before taking the exams!”

“You so need to check your priorities Granger!” He scoffed at her and she ignored, turning right in the corridor leading to the bathroom the Weasley’s twins used as their shop.

“Really Granger, where are we going? I don’t think I’ve ever been in this part of the castle.” He asked and she noticed him looking around.

“There’s an empty office in this floor, as well as an empty classroom. And how come you never been here? The Ancient Runes classroom is just on the third left!”

“I don’t exactly take Ancient Runes do I?”

“Oh, right. But anyway, we are here. What do you prefer? The empty office or the empty classroom?” She pointed to the two doors, one in front of them and the other, a couple of steps on their right.

“Office of course!” He said, walking inside the office, she followed him and closed the door behind her, sealing it close with magic. Draco raised his eyebrows at her and smirked, she simply ignored. “This place is great!” He exclaimed as he collapsed on the couch, “why is this place empty? It’s the best office I’ve ever seen!”

“It was used by Professor Galatea Merrythought, she taught Defense Against the Dark Arts when Dumbledore was still a student and retired after the Chamber of Secrets were first open.”

“Merlin, she must be ancient.”

“Don’t be rude.”

“Of course, because she is here to hear me isn’t she?”

“You couldn’t know, because as you said she’s ancient, what if she’s a ghost and still wonders around the office?” She asked sarcastically.

“Oh! It might be why is disused!” He said amused, “they say You-Know-Who jinxed the post of D.A.D.A and that’s why they hadn’t have a professor who lasted more than a year in decades! They might think this place is jinxed too!”

“You surely have a vivid imagination.”

“Oh, come on Granger! Why else they wouldn’t use this place? There’s a piano in here! And a dinner table! The potions office is shit, and I’ve been to Professor McGonagall office once and it’s said to be one of the nicest one and it’s half the size of this place!”

“Well, I don’t know. But this place isn’t jinxed, I’ve been here thousand times, and nothing ever happened.”

“You weren’t taking the place as new D.A.D.A teacher, were you?” He gave her a pointed look.

“Fine. Have it in your way, we are here to study anyways.” Said that, she opened her bag and took out ten textbooks and heard Malfoy gasp, “what now?” She asked annoyed.

“How many classes are you taking?” He asked perplexed and he went through her books, reading the covers.

“Oh sod of! I know for a fact that I’ve read every single one in front of you at least once!”

“I thought you were reading just to feed your necessity to be a know-it-all! Not that you were actually taking every class!”

“I’m not taking every class! I dropped Muggle Studies and Divination”

“Oh right, I heard about your show last year, stomping out of Trelawney’s classroom after she insulted you.” He chuckles and she throws a pillow at him, “Oi! There’s no need to get violent!” But he is still cackling. 

“Don’t be a prat! Her class is ridiculous and she’s nothing but a farce!”

“You are the one who can’t take a insult against your brains!”

“My brains were insulted at her class! Because apparently, it is a requirement to not have one in that class!”

“Who’s being rude now?” He asked and she snapped her mouth shut, “and Granger, because you don’t like divination and clearly doesn’t have The Sight,” she narrowed her eyes at him, “it doesn’t mean it’s rubbish, you know.”

“There’s no way to know if her prophecies are true! Harry and Ron literally spend most of their time creating ridiculousness for her homework!”

“That’s because none of them have The Sight either. Just accept it’s not for everyone and it’s something you can’t learn from a book and you shall live happily.” He said smirking and she scoffed at him.

“Ok. I don’t like her. I don’t like her subject. Let’s start studying, which subjects are you taking?” 

“Other than the core, Muggle Studies, Care of Magical Creatures and Arithmancy.”

“You are a jerk you know that right?” 

“What did I do now?” He asked confused and his expression was so endearing that she smiled.

“You were making fun of me because I’m taking ten classes but you are taking the exactly same number as me.”

“I wasn’t making fun of you Granger,” he leans back on the sofa he is sitting and throws an arm on top of it, “because when I make fun of you, I usually have my smirk on,” and the bastard was smirking now, “I was mildly impressed.”

“Mildly.” She repeats, scoffing.

“Of course.” He replies, and she shakes her head amused.

The worst thing about it all is that she liked that pretentious, arrogant boy. They might bicker every day, disagree about almost everything just because, but he was highly amusing, and he always matched her witty remarks, which was extremely entertaining per se.

She was so lost in her thoughts about him that she didn’t notice he had started studying. Scowling herself silently she picked her Transfiguration textbook, as it was the one he was studying and the first exam. Hermione changed sofas, getting up from in front of him to sit at his side.

They were extremely comfortable studying; Hermione had her back against the armrest, her knees were up, close to her chest, upholding the book she had open, and her feet were tucked under Draco’s thigh; he was sitting close to her and leaning over the table to write it down notes, his arm often brushing her legs when moving. They worked mostly in silence, studying by themselves and when finishing a topic or subject they asked questions to the other, with the flashcards they made. But sometimes she’d sigh, unable to understand the exact difference between a Deflating Draught and a Swelling Solution, or the right order of ingredients for a Wit-Sharpening Potion.

“Ginger Root until lime green, Armadillo Bile until blue, Ground Scarab Beetles until red, Armadillo Bile again until yellow and Ginger Roots until green.”

“Lime green Granger. And Armadillo Bile again until is purple and then simmers for 10 minutes and more Ginger Root until is dark orange. You are thinking loudly again Granger.” 

“Sorry. I can’t get this right.”

“I noticed.” He sighed.

“Why repeat the same ingredients all the time? And the colors, I’m sure I will mess everything up.”

“And I’m sure I will write the ingredients of your potions instead the actual color of paramedics’ uniform! That’s if I get to actually understand the difference between them and doctors and not mix up their uniforms color as well!”

“I’m sorry. And paramedic is the person who treats the injured at the time of the accident, like if there’s a car crash—" She stopped at Draco’s widened eyes. “I mean, if someone falls and is badly hurt, you need to call an ambulance—you know what that is?”

“Is that the car who transport people under the ground? Oh! No, that’s the underground. It’s the one that transport injured people to the hospital, right?”

“Exactly! So, if someone is hurt, they call for an ambulance—"

“When you say call you mean the telephone right? The muggle version of Floo?”

“Yeah, kind of, you can say it like that, but anyways, the ambulance has paramedics, they are people trained to provide first aid at the local of accident, they bandage wounds, perform cardiac support for heart attack victims, if someone can’t breathe properly they perform respiratory procedures, IV fluids and stabilize broken necks and bones before taking the person to the hospital, where the person will be fully treated by doctors, which are the muggle version of healers. 

‘Doctors are people known of various methods of healing; they use diverse tools and have specific doctors for different parts of the body. They are the ones who work in hospitals”

She explained everything, and she smiled fondly at him writing a lot of things down, nodding to her explanations. 

“Ok. There a couple of words I don’t know what they mean, but I think I get it now. Can I say like, the paramedics are Madam Pomfrey and the doctors are the healers at St. Mungos? She treats the easy stuff and if there’s something she doesn’t know how to do or can’t do she sends to St. Mungos?”

“You couldn’t say that, because it’s not totally right. Madam Pomfrey does a lot more than the paramedics. The paramedics can’t treat a person completely, even if they know how to, they must send to the hospital, because they don’t have the license to do it.

‘You could say Madam Pomfrey is a kind of doctor, her expertise is in simple wounds and if something happens that it out of her league, she sends it to St. Mungo’s. The wizarding world doesn’t have the paramedics equivalent, as any wizard can use healing spells or administrate antidotes if they have in hand.”

“Ok. The paramedics are the first to help, they do a onceover and take the patient to the doctors to treat and heal. The paramedics don’t have the license to do more than the basics and first aid, because the doctors have more study and are in a higher level.”

“Exactly. Any more questions?” 

“No, I understood the rest. Merlin, this class should’ve been so easy for you.”

“Yes. It was really funny to take. Professor Burbage loved to hear my experiences with everything.”

He gave her a small smile and Hermione thought it really suited him.

“Thanks Granger, what can I help you with Potions?”

And he made it sound so easy that Hermione didn’t have in her to make a comment about him offering help. So, she simply asked, and he started to explain the differences between the two potions and then they both managed to create connections to help memorize the order.

“So, it’s lime green, blue, red and yellow. Not so hard Granger just think the order of the best to worst houses. First, we have green as Slytherin and all its glory, then blue like Ravenclaw, red as your reckless and oh-so-heroic Gryffindor and in last the yellow and boring Hufflepuff.”

“And then we have green again because we all know Slytherin is the worst house and the others just let you think the other way because you are all naturally spoiled brats.”

“Lovely Granger, truly.” He replied with narrowed eyes, but his mouth betrays him and is curling upwards.

“And then purple and dark orange. The ingredients I already memorized. It’s Ginger Root, Armadillo Bile, Ground Scarab Beetles, Armadillo Bile and Ginger Root and them the last too again.” He nods and she grins at him, making him roll his eyes, just like he does every time she smiles at him. Because happiness apparently is something he doesn’t like very much.

They got back to studying; she revised Defense Against the Dark Arts, reading about the difference between Erklings and House-Elves and about the Blast-Ended Skrewt and all its characteristics. She looked over her book to see Draco writing numbers down on his Arithmancy chart and the properties of the number 7. As she watched him, she noticed his concentrated expression, the way he ran the quill on his chin while thinking about what to write, the way he scowled at his textbooks as it was offending him and then pouting adorably at it. 

Soon, Draco Malfoy was far more interesting than Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Ten minutes, or probably more, on watching him over her book, she held her breath as he sighed and leaned back, resting his head on her legs and then letting out a yawl. She didn’t dare to move, or comment, because she knew if she even breathed in the wrong way he’d move and without knowing why, she didn’t want him to move.

He was completely aware of what he was doing, because he reached for his textbook and brought closer, so he could still read and turn the pages without having to move from his position.

She smiled fondly at him. Draco Malfoy wasn’t opposed to touch her anymore. She could remember vividly when he’d brush off his hands at the mere touch of her things and scourgify himself when she actually touched him.

It was ridiculous, because she was a person just like him and he wasn’t supposed to be disgusted by her. But Hermione knew him, knew what his beliefs were and the way he was raised. Seeing him slowing let go of that, or thinking on his own, was beautiful. Draco was awfully intelligent and insightful, Hermione saw in the past eight months that he was changing his ways of thinking and his attitude towards her as he studied her, as if he was analyzing her and classifying her all over again. 

Still smiling, she looked up to the clock on the left of the room and noticed they were out after curfew. Ignoring the clock, as she was extremely comfortable, she closed her book,

“Malfoy, pass me my D.A.D.A homework please, I want to take a look at it again.” She asked in a soft voice.

“Where is it?” He asked, without raising his head from her legs.

“On your right.” He then raised his head and searched for it, grabbing and handing her before resting his head again. 

“Oh shit, did you notice the time?” He quickly got up, leaving her at loss without his warmth and his soft breathing on her legs.

“No.” She lied, “what time is it?”

“Well over two in the morning. If we get caught, we will get in so much trouble. Fuck I have seven floors till the dungeons.” He started to gather his stuff and put back on his bag

“I can cast a disillusionment charm on you, if you want. I’m very good at those.”

“How? They are N.E.W.T levels!”

“I got bored during the summer and read all about them, so when the school term started, I began practicing by myself. Professor Flitwick helped me a little too” she explained and blushed when she noticed the look on Malfoy’s face. He was looking at her with something very close to admiration. It was a new look on him towards her and while they made her blush profusely, it also made her extremely happy to see him warming up to her.

“Would you, really?” He asked then, and his face was so childish, Hermione never saw him look like that, so innocent, so relaxed. 

“Yes, of course,” she walked in front of him and with a small smile said, “you just need to tap your wand on top of your head.” She did just that and Draco was now invisible. Well not exactly, as she knew he was there and could see him.

“It’s weird. I can see my body, but it has the same color and texture of the sofa I’m leaning.”

“Yeah, it’s more chameleon than invisibility, I know you are here, so I can see your outlines, but if I close my eyes and you move around, I won’t be able to see you anymore.”

“Thanks Granger.”

“No problem, we should go.” Nodding, they left the office and walked silently down the corridor to the stairs. 

“Can we study in here again tomorrow?” He asked in a whispered voice.

“Yes. We meet in here after dinner?” She asked wherever he was, having lost sight of him.

“Yes. Goodnight Granger.” He says and she feels a light touch on her arm. “It was a good birthday.” He said and before Hermione could reply she heard soft steps going down the staircase.

 

June 17th, 1995. First Floor. Day 223

 

“Hey, look where you are going Potter!” Crabbe said when the trio turned the corridor leading to the Great Hall and Harry bumped on Crabbe.

“It’s not my fault you are always in the way.” He said instead of just ignoring, Hermione rolled her eyes.

“Well Potter that’s just not polite.” Draco said, and his bodyguards of friends laughed.

Really, why he was friend with those two was a mystery itself. Maybe it was because he was extremely annoying to every student and needed protection if someone decided to jump on him.

She might ask why when she sees him at the office tonight.

“Get of the way Malfoy.” Ron sneered as Hermione tried in vain to pull the two boys away from the Slytherins.

“You see Weasel, I don’t remember talking to you.”

“Just like I don’t remember talking to you, but of course you and your arrogant, presumptuous arse need to always be the center of attention.”

“Aw, look who discovered a new word! Where did you learn that? Were you practicing for your next interview?”

“Sod off.” he hissed the same time Goyle said: 

“He probably learned with the mudblood know-it-all.”

And Hermione saw it before it happened, Draco expression changed from malicious to hard and angry as he turned to Goyle with vicious eyes.

“Shut up Goyle.” He sneered with his hands in fists.

Hermione was looking so closely at Draco that she didn’t notice Ron take his wand out, which was now being pointed at Goyle. 

“Come off it Ron. Let’s go, we are going to be late. Don’t make us lose points by get in trouble.”

“The third task is next week Potter, you still can jump out of it if you are too scared.” Draco called out as they passed, and she rolled her eyes at him.

He was ridiculous.

 

June 18th, 1995. Merrythought’s Office. Day 224

 

“You are ridiculous.” She said the moment he entered the office.

“Hello to you too.” He answered, shrugging off his robes and throwing it at her purposefully.

“Really, why can’t you and your gargoyles keep it shut?” She asked as she removed his robes from her face. Utterly annoying.

“Gargoyles? That’s a new one.” He said impressed and sat down next to her, taking over most of the sofa

“I try to come with new ones every day, to keep our relationship fresh.” She replied sarcastically, and he snorted.

“Oh dear, really?” He asked, fluttering his eyelashes exaggeratedly at her, making it her turn to snort and shove him off.

“Really. It would make my life easier if you didn’t insult them at every given chance. You know, it was a lot easier listening they go on about all your wonderful traits when I had something to say as well, now I just fight the urge to defend you.” 

The minute the words left the mouth she blushed and put a hand over her mouth, astonished. 

Oh shit, she needed to work on her mind-to-mouth filter.

He went from grinning mischievously to gaping pathetically at her and them to full on smirking.

“Oh why Granger, you like me.” He said with a smirk and Hermione wanted to claw at his face to get that annoying expression out of him.

She had two options, deny and make even more a fool of herself or play along and see who backed off first. She went with the latter.

“Yes Malfoy, how could I not? With your extremely pleasant personality, you’re a natural with compliments and let’s not forget your humble attitude! You are basically the dream catch!” She gesticulated at all of him, trying to prove her point and she almost did it successfully wasn’t for the way she started laughing and he threw a pillow at her, making her splutter and fall back on the sofa.

She continued to laugh, loudly, and he threw another pillow at her, which only made her laugh more.

“Merlin what’s wrong with you?” He asked and even with her eyes closed she knew he was grinning at her

“You know,” she started, between chuckles, but then breathed in and sat up, looking straight at him. “You are so much more than you let people see. You are extremely likable when you are not trying to be someone else.” 

They remained quiet for a few minutes, just looking at each other, she could see—Merlin, she could almost hear him thinking, him processing her words, trying to know what to make of them.

“You are my friend Granger.” He replied and gave her a small smile.

“Oh, I’ve known that for months now.” She grinned back at him and patted his thigh, before getting up and getting her stuff from the other sofa.

“Thank you” he said behind her back, “you are the first person to like me for who I am.”

She turned around and walked back to him, sitting in the sofa next to him and crossing her legs in front of her, putting the stack of books on her lap, “then the ones who fail to see that don’t deserve even half of you.” She quoted himself and he smiled at her.

“You know, you also are so much more than what I thought of you.”

Hermione knew that something had shifted between the two of them in that moment.


	7. Seven

September 18th, 2003. St. Mungos. Day 5430

 

“Sorry about that, we called but you didn’t hear of course.” She heard Blaise’s voice, but her eyes saw three blurred Blaise. “Drink that, will stop the dizziness,” he said, putting a glass on her hands and guiding it to her mouth. “You are staying way too long under that thing,” he whispered to her, “two.”

“Days?” She asked confused and he just nodded.

She swallowed it and the taste was terrible and automatically brought back every sense. Blaise then handed her potions and she drank it too. Her room was filled with people. Blaise, Ron, Harry, Ginny and Theo Nott were there, all looking extremely tense. The Weasleys and Harry looked exhausted, they eyes were bloodshot, and their hairs were disheveled. Ginny in particular, looked completely broken. 

“What happened?” She asked.

“There were other attacks.” Harry started, “Ernie Macmillan’s father was killed yesterday. They found a message with his body, ‘we are going to end the Black’s family blood one by one.’”

“No way!” She exclaimed.

“And that’s not everything. The Burrow was attacked as well.”

“No…” She whispered, her own eyes watering and she took in the sight or Ron and Ginny.

“Molly—She was the only one in The Burrow and she—“ Ginny sob was heart breaking and Hermione started to cry.

Oh my God, Molly Weasley. The woman who was a second mum to her, who dotted and cared for her like she was her own. 

“How? Why?” She cried.

“She was found with a note, ‘not even Blood-traitors are going to escape this time.’” 

“Oh my God!” She sobbed on her hands; Blaise was at her side, caressing her hair. 

She looked up to see Ron tensed posture, his face was hard, and his jaw clenched. He wasn’t crying, he didn’t even look sad, Ron looked extremely enraged.

“We are trying to do everything we can to find who is behind these attacks but there’s no clues.”

She dried her tears, she couldn’t cry right now, they were there not because they wanted to tell the news, they were there because they needed her brain. Her help.

“The Black family is the most ancient family in the Wizarding World, how many British witches or wizards have a Black in their family?” She asks and notices Theo’s proud smile creeping in.

“Me, the Weasleys, Longbottom, Flint, Bulstrode, Crabbe, Lupin, Macmillan, Malfoy, Prewett, Tonks, Burke, Yaxley, Rosier, Blishwick, Crouch, Gamp and Lestrange.” Harry says and both Blaise and Theo looks at him with wide eyes. “What? I live at Grimmauld Place, I have spent hours looking at that horrific tapestry.”

“Yaxley is in Azkaban, Rosier is dead and has no family, the Prewett are now dead.” Hermione sighed at Blaise’s lack of tact, “Crouch, Blishwick and Gamp family are all dead as well, and the Lestrange brothers are in Azkaban.”

“That leaves muggle-borns, half-bloods, Blaise, Pansy, Theo, Daphne and her sister off the possibility of being attacked. Even with Theo’s father?” She asked, and then turned to Theo, “I’m sorry Theo, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“None taken. But no, we are not safe, not me at least. My office was broken into just this morning.”

“Why?”

“I work in Wizarding Birth Control as well, my office has files of every single person born with magic, since their first display of magic.”

“They took the files?” He nodded.

“My colleagues and I were stupefied, when we came back, they were gone, and everything were taken.”

“What the minister says about this? This isn’t cutting off death eaters, is bigger!”

“The magical world is in alert. Wards are being raised in the houses but other than that, we are powerless. 

“Well, which muggle-born or half-blood wizard or witch has suffered in the hands of the Black family or Death eater?” Blaise asked, “Bloody hell it’s almost everyone”

“Thank you for your helpful input Blaise.” Theo said sarcastically.

“But he’s right though, I’ve already mentioned that I think it’s possible that the person behind all of this is a muggle-born or a half-blood. Whoever it is must have a pretty good reason to kill. This is being planned, this is revenge.”

“But just as Zabini said, it can be anyone” Harry said frustrated.

“No. Whose witches and wizards we know of had family members killed by Bellatrix or any other Death Eater in the Black family?”

“A lot.”

“Well, you better start narrowing down the number!” She snapped

“Hermione, we are doing what we can. We came to warn you. We are setting wards around your room and an Auror will be guarding your door.” Ron explained, his voice was stilled, void of emotion.

“What? Why? I’m not related to the Black family! I’m a muggle-born!” She exclaimed and Theo and Blaise snort.

“But we took you in! And obviously you have connections with that family.” He said, face hard, “and you are in no way able to defend yourself!” He exploded, and she knew better than to call out on his reaction, because this was about Molly.

“Ron, I know that.” She said as it was obvious, “Cael is the one who should be warded and guarded. He has Black ancestors, not me. I’m his mother yeah, but I’m no Black descendent, there’s no need to have an Auror outside my door.”

“You don’t understand how magical families work, do you?” He asked bewildered. Hermione quirked an eyebrow.

“Yes I do, what you don’t understand it that whoever is behind this is not a pureblood and doesn’t think like one! The rest of the world doesn’t see family the same way as pureblood do! We call the family members of our spouses’ in-laws, because we are all united by law and not by some kind of magic that turns everyone a big blood family after marriage! Cygnus and Druella believed and preached that Andromeda wasn’t family anymore because they burned her out of that tapestry, same with Sirius, but that’s not how we think. It’s not because you all welcomed me into your family and started to call me Weasley that I am one, that the blood that runs in your veins runs in mine.”

“She’s been spending way too much time with Zabini that she doesn’t even consider herself as a Weasley anymore.” Ginny says, her voice is filled with hatred.

She stares at her friend, trying to decide if the venom in her voice was because of the hurt or something else.

“Ginny!” Harry scowls.

“What do I have to do with that?” Blaise asked, and by the way he stood at her bedside, with a hand on her bed, she knew he was about to defend her even though it wasn’t necessary.

“You know exactly what Zabini! My brother told me you refuse to call her Hermione Weasley and make fun of her for associating with us! As if it was a huge joke for you!” She says angrily, and her voice is way too loud for hospitals.

“What else did your brother told you? Does he also tell you what he says to her?” He raised his voice as well and Hermione closed his eyes. This isn’t going to end well.

“Shut up Zabini! It’s not of your business!”

“Of course it’s my business! He’s my godson! And Draco is my best friend! And you come in here, in her room, ignore her pleas to send a simple letter, a goddamn letter to her own son and insult him in front of her, in front of me!”

“He’s not her son! She never raised him! She doesn’t even see him!” Ginny yells.

“That boy is just a mistake!” Ron yelled at the same time and Hermione is glad Blaise is yelling in her behalf because she had lost her voice. 

She is also glad she was weak and wandless because she would have stunned both Weasleys. 

Hermione was seeing red.

“How fucking dare you say that? How fucking dare you call Caelum a mistake?” He jumps at Ron and Theo holds him, “get off me Theo, I’m going to strangle this bastard! You are so fucking jealous because she never loved you the way she loved him!”

At the same time, Harry held Ron, who was now trying everything to get to Blaise.

“Shut up! Shut up!”

“You know I’m right! And that’s why you prohibited her of seeing him! Because you can’t stand the fact that she loves a Malfoy and have loved since she was 15 years old! You can’t accept the fact she chose him over you! But newsflash Weasley, Draco is so fucking better in loving her than you!”

“Malfoy is evil! And the only reason why he’s not in Azkaban today is because I didn’t say anything when she and Harry were defending him! Because I didn’t tell the whole fucking true!”

“Because you know if you did, she would never forgive you! Would never look at you again! You couldn’t send the man she loved to Azkaban because then she would never look at you again!”

“You know nothing Zabini! You are deluded! You listen to the things that bastard of a boy says and talk rubbish! Tell me, is he who filled your head with those love stories?”

“Shut up about Caelum! The only bastard in here is you! Because you are the only one she doesn’t fully love! And I bet it kills you to know that! Oh, because you know, because she never looks at you the way you want! And I’m sure the way she looked at Draco that day must have blinded you with jealousy!”

“Shut up!”

“I wish you had seen the way she and Draco looked at each other in Hogwarts! The way they were in love! The way you never were!”

“Come on Blaise, it’s enough,” Theo said in his ear, straining to keep him away from Ron, “listen to the things you are saying, you are being completely vile.”

Hermione wished her vocal cords would work, because she would tell Blaise to stop talking and—“

“I don’t care about how they loved each other! They were fucked up! He never deserved her! And she was stupid to love him, dumb to get pregnant, because he is cruel, heartless, vile and a murderer and he always mistreated and insulted her. He would never be in public with her, would never let her taint his name with her blood! Or do you think it’s some heroic reason why he never went after her when he was free? 

‘I don’t care about what they felt because I was the one who got to be with her, not him! Nothing makes me more satisfied than to have this against him, to win! To know he is somewhere in that horrid, sordid manor with the mistake baby because I took that from him!”

Blaise stood back, “I’m done here Theo. He just ruined everything for him.”

The room was silent, every single one of them was dawning his last words, the horror he just pronounced.

Hermione took a deep breath, pushed her covers away from her and with just a look at Blaise he helped her out of bed. Her legs almost gave out, as she hasn’t been on her foot for over two weeks. He held her, and Theo came to her other side, helping too.

It was safe to say the world was really fucked up when the people beside her were Slytherins and she was against her lifetime best friends.

“You are going to leave this room and I hope I’m dead before I see your face again, because I never been more offended in my entire life. You were supposed to be my best friend and not to think so little of me. You say the most horrid things when you are enraged, and it always end up being towards me, since we were kids.

‘I’m dying and I’m not going to tolerate another second of that. You will leave, because he never said anything like that to me. He never saw me as a prize or took me for granted. You are going to leave because right now I can be cruel, heartless and vile but I won’t because you are my best friend and I love you dearly. And that’s the difference.”

Ron was still red in the face with rage, his hands were in fists and his knuckles were white, but he opened a mean smile and scoffed.

“No Hermione. I’m not leaving.”

“Yes, you are.” She said firmly and Harry pushed the sleeve of his robes.

“No, because since the trial you’ve been nothing but passive-aggressive. And I’m tired of this, I want you for once to speak up your mind and not be the pacifier. I don’t want narrowed eyes and reproving looks, I don’t want scowls or the silent treatment. I want you to say what it’s been eating you all your life.”

“Ron, come on, you don’t want that. Let’s go, you need to cool down mate, you are angry, you just lost your mum, come on Ron, you are not thinking clearly—“

“Shut up Harry, don’t patronize my feelings. I am angry and I am sad. My mother died and I want the woman I love to say it, to FUCKING SAY IT ONCE!” He yelled and the other five jumped with his outburst. “You should start saying his name out loud. That would be a first too.”

Hermione pondered, it was true she never said a lot of things, she always kept quiet because she felt guilt for not loving him right, for always comparing, always thinking back to Draco. She also knows the things she has to say are enough to lose him forever, his best friend. Could she do that? To be cruel, to tell him his nemesis is the love of her life? Just now when his mother was murdered? Could she, who always tried to see the best in everyone, point out his flaws? 

But could she die knowing she never told the truth? Knowing her life was a lie? Or Merlin, could she live without ever saying it? Could she go on with this lie for the rest of her life? Could she, Hermione Granger, the greatest witch of her age, live in guilt and regret? Hadn’t she fought for a world worth living? For a world where she could be what she was?

“Do it Granger.” Blaise whispered in her ear and Theo squeezed her arm, even Harry was nodding slightly. 

It warmed her knowing she would never lose Harry, whatever was her choice. And she saw it in his eyes.

“Draco Malfoy is the love of my life Ron.” She says and it gives her life. 

It came in a wave of warmth, inside her body, going through her dying organs, giving them another shot at life. It felt like butterflies, those butterflies that flutter in your stomach when you are around someone you love.

She finally understood the power of love, why Harry survived all those years ago, why Dark Magic was so weak against love. Love is light, is life itself, it comes unannounced and sometimes without being asked for, it’s pure, it’s innocent and it is what makes a person alive.

Hermione found her cure.

“I loved him even before I knew what love really was. He changed me in a way I don’t know where or when it began. He changed me slowly, making impossible to see what I am because of him and what it was always here. With him I learned that who I am it’s not what people see of me. 

‘He made me stronger and he made me grow. He taught me a person was more than its image and he showed me emotions, thoughts, feelings and reactions I didn’t know it even existed. He made me see the world wasn’t as perfect as I thought and even with all of imperfections, it was still beautiful. He taught me beauty in pain, in sorrow and how even grey has its different shades. 

‘He showed me how people can change and find redemption, and we don’t win or lose in life, much less in war, that we are always winning and always losing and it’s in the uncertain where the greatness of life lies. He taught me to never take anything for granted because we are all waiting for the fallout. And that is why Ron, I could never love you the same way”

“Because I didn’t change you? I loved you without thinking you needed to be changed! I love you for who you are!”

“He didn’t change me, so he could love me, it was he loving me that changed who I am. And Ron, you took me for granted your entire life. You belittle me from time to time, when you treat me as a nuisance when I rather focus on real-life issues rather than fun, when you ignore my advices for everything unless you want to appease me or not make me angry.

‘You’ve been mean to me in more than one occasion, you don’t listen to me or to my feelings and needs, you almost never take my side, since Hogwarts you always chose Harry’s.

‘You only treat me genuinely well when you want something from me, because you don’t think you need to be a gentleman, or to flatter me in our day-to-day, because you take me for granted, you take our friendship for granted,

‘Ron you never even tried to make me fall out of love with him. We never had romance, we kissed because it was handy, and we got together because it was convenient and because it was expected from us. I’m sorry but you made it impossible for me to forget him, because he is everything you are not, he gave me everything you never did. And I’m not talking only about romance.

‘You are immature and lazy; you refuse to have a deep or serious conversation. You are indifferent to the things I like, to my hobbies. Draco and I we talked for hours, we had long discussions about anything and even when we argued, which was all the time, we had real, head-to-head arguments! 

‘You and I we can’t even fight! You just throw the blame at me, and then walks out! And returns back hours later with an apology. Draco and I, we overcome every single barrier and prejudice by out arguing each other and learning with each other. You don’t let me talk about Caelum, you can’t stand his name and you scowl at the pictures of him in my flat.”

Hermione only realized she was crying, after finishing her rant. Or the soothing hand on her back. Ron wasn’t angry anymore; he looked terribly heartbroken and sad. She knew she had said more than she should. But Merlin, wasn’t it freeing? 

The guilt she felt for hurting him now wasn’t near as big as the guilt she carried all those years for lying to him, for pretending.

“You are too good Hermione and you didn’t deserve to be stuck with me for this long, with someone who is as out of your league as I am. You deserved so much more and I’m sorry I am shallow, ignorant and illiterate.”

“Ron…” She cried. Fuck, he had just lost his mother and she had said all those things to him. 

“You weren’t mean or rude, you stated facts. I am all of that and I know that, but now I know as well what a huge favor you did by dating me.”

“Ron, I—“

“You said enough Hermione. I truly wish you to survive this, so you get to live the life you deserve.” Said that, he nodded towards the two Slytherins boys and left the room, with Ginny right behind him, but her eyes were firing daggers at her.

“Harry, I—I shouldn’t have, Harry—“ She cries and he comes to her, pulling her into a hug.

“You said more than he wanted to hear. Way more in fact, but Mione, you said everything you needed to.”

“But Molly just—“

“The timing for them was unfortunate, but it was the right moment for you.” 

“Harry!” She exclaimed, remembering she had found what could possibly be the cure.

“What?” He asked confused, as she was now smiling.

“You had the answer for my cure all this time.”

“What you are talking about?” Now it was Blaise attention she caught, he looked at her with wide, shiny eyes and Merlin; he got emotional with her rant. She beamed at him and held out a hand for him to hold.

He’s been her rock this past four months, treating her like royalty, making her laugh and feel normal. She loved him dearly. It was absurd to see them now and then look back at their time at Hogwarts, when he was nothing more than cordial to her and only warming up to her during fifth year and becoming best friends when they were all thrown together in the same tower as the students who came back to redo seventh year. 

“Love Harry. It’s love. Your mother sacrificed herself for you and her love for you saved you from a killing curse. Voldemort couldn’t touch you because of love. When I said the truth, when I finally said, I could feel it, I could feel it spreading and I felt so alive! Love is the weapon against all kind of Dark Magic”

“Salazar’s serpent! Hermione you are right! Oh my Merlin, how could we be so dumb?” Blaise beamed, he was jumping around the room and laughing maniacally.

“But Blaise,” Theo started, “she needs a potion, we can sit Draco in a chair at her side telling him he loves her for hours and it won’t cure her.”

“My Merlin, now I know why you ended up as a Hit Wizard and not an Auror.” Blaise said, rolling his eyes. “Potter can you get me a license to get inside the Love Chamber in the Department of Mysteries? I need to study some properties before starting, as this is going to be a hell of a difficult and powerful potion.”

“It will be almost impossible, but I think I can use the ‘I defeated Voldemort’ card with Shacklebolt.” 

“Granger, you know we need to tell them now, don’t you? You understand what I need to do.”

“I do.”

“Great! I feel like I’ve been waiting for this day my entire life! I’m so happy! Granger I could kiss you right now!”

“Blaise, I’m sure you will have a shot if Draco’s love is not enough” Theo said dismissively, and they all laughed. “But I’m going to kiss your hair right now because you are going to live Granger!” He said all happy and she giggled, Theo was known for being stoic and devoid of strong emotions.

“When did the three of you happen?” Harry asked confused, but highly amused.

“Fifth year.” Blaise explained, “We were the sneak-Hermione-in-and-out squad. But mostly it was after the war, when Draco told us about Caelum. He knew he was going to run and that she, the Gryffindor princess and brightest witch, would be coming back to Hogwarts to finish her education and he so politely asked me to keep an eye on her—“

“When Blaise say polite, you do well in understand as ‘heavily threatened,’” Theo say as an input and she snorts.

“And Theo tagged along, he didn’t want me to be the only Slytherin boy redoing seventh year.”

“I was heavily coerced.”

“And we all became best buddies.”

“But Ginny, Neville, Seamus and Dean also was there, why did she give you two the time of day?” Harry asked, clearly not caring he was rude.

“I will not be offended Potter, because you clearly don’t understand the potential we have as friends.”

“Barely.” He snorted.

“Long story short, we were the only ones who knew about Draco and baby heir, so she clearly enjoyed crying on our shoulders.” Theo explained laughing and Blaise laughed along, probably remembering the day she rounded the two of them in the way to the dungeons and threatened to hex them all the way to graduation if they didn’t listen to her.

And if Harry was looking at Hermione and them like they were the strangest thing to ever happen, she could only imagine what he would look like if he knew about Pansy and Daphne as well.

“But anyways. Granger, I need to talk to you alone, before we start doing anything.” Blaise says, she has seen his serious face way too many times to not understand that this whole thing have a big ‘but’.

“We are leaving.” Harry says and kisses her temple. “You will always have me Mione, don’t worry.” 

“I know.” She smiles, and her eyes gets all watery again.

He said his goodbyes and Theo kissed her hair and left with Harry.

“Give me the bad news.”

“This kind of potion was never made. You know they call the Love Chamber the Ever-Locked Room. That place has the most wonderful and powerful force existent. Love is more dangerous than any dark magic, more terrible than death, more beautiful than the forces of nature. Love is a completely mysterious force and try to play with it is extremely dangerous. Brewing love into a potion in the right amount to save you will be very hard. If we do anything wrong, small as it can be, you can end up dead or in a forever state of Amortentia, completely obsessed and unable to see the real world.”

“I know Blaise.”

“We have a lead now. Until today we were firing hex in the dark, but now we know what we are doing and what we are looking for.”

“Get Slughorn and Draco to help. Find Snape’s old books, get whatever help you can, fuck Blaise, tell the world about my condition, but save me.” 

“I will. He will save you, I promise you.”

She just nods, her eyelids heavy and the lack of sleep catching up to her, she tries to stay awake because she doesn’t know how long she’ll be out this time.

 

September 19th, 2003. St. Mungo’s. Day 5431

 

She isn’t sure what day it is, but her room is empty, and the rain is falling outside in the dark of the night. She had just awoke from a dream. It was the battle of Hogwarts, but in her dream Draco was trying to convince her to ran away with him. Hermione thought about how things would be different if she had run with him, if the three of them had lived in hiding. 

His Pensieve was floating beside her bed and she beckoned it closer, it wasn’t good to dwell on what could have been and she distinctly remembered Harry saying that to her once, when they were just the two of them in a tent and she had spent the whole evening daydreaming about Draco, that it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. But when one was on their deathbed, what good did they have but their dreams, or their memories? 

Letting a single tear fall from her eye, she lowered her head to the Pensieve.

 

June 24th, 1995. Merrythought’s Office. Day 230

 

“Granger, do you trust me?” He asked the minute she sat down next to him. Draco looked extremely nervous and scared. 

“What?” She asked confused, but the truth is, she didn’t know.

“Do you trust me?”

“I don’t know, I guess so. I don’t trust my life with you or anything that kind, but I trust you with other things.”

“If I ask you to try to get Potter to not win the tournament, would you trust me when I say I’m not asking this because of school rivalry or my personal grudges with him?”

“What are you talking about?” She was kind of startled; his tone was edgy, nearing pleading and panicking and his hands were fidgeting. 

He moved closer to her, holding her hands in his trembling ones, “Granger, Potter can’t win this tournament. It’s not safe. Promise me you will ask him to do everything he can to lose.”

“Why?”

“Why do you need to ask questions all the goddam time? When are you going to learn you don’t need to know everything all the time! Can’t you just take my word for it?”

“Well, I’m sorry that your word didn’t mean shit for me till the other day.” She exploded and she could see he was hurt, “Malfoy I’m so—“

“Fuck you Granger! Do you think I give a sodding fuck if Potter lives or die? Do you think I’d be risking my ass for your kind if this weren’t much bigger than everything? Fuck you!”

“Then explain me why! You are scaring me!”

“You need to be scared! This is serious! Tomorrow, before he gets inside the maze, he needs to know he can’t win that. There’s a ploy an—“ He stopped mid-sentence when they heard the door open.

“What are you two doing here? This office is off limits.” Moody asks and he is terrifying, his bad eye is looking everywhere, going from Draco to her, to the books and the room, to the back of his head, it doesn’t stop moving, while his good eye keeps glaring at Draco and his scarred lips are narrowed. Draco get paler than usual. 

But even shaking and obviously scared, he stood in front of her, holding her arm to keep her behind him, “Can’t a bloke even snog a bird anymore?”

She wasn’t expecting that to leave his mouth. What the actual fuck is he talking about?

“Spare me child, I happen to know your father very well.”

“Indeed you do.” he says defying.

Hermione can see the animosity between the two and she knows it is bigger than Professor Moody transforming Draco in a ferret.

“Careful Malfoy, you are playing with the big boys, some day they will bite you in the tail.”

“Let’s go Granger.” He pulled her bag, which was still unopened, and held on the sleeves of her robes.

“I hope for your own good that you are smarter than that Malfoy.” Moody called behind them and Draco quickened his steps.

Only when they out of range and near other students he let go of her and gave her stuff back.

“What was that?” She cried.

“Promise me Granger.” He insisted, grabbing her arms firmly.

“You are hurting me! Why can’t you explain? I don’t understand!”

“I can’t! I really can’t!” He exclaimed and loosened the hold on her. “And besides, I don’t know everything, but what I know is that the third task is a trap and bad things will happen if Potter touch the Cup.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because Potter would never believe me and what I said last week is true, you are my friend Granger. And above all, no one wants Potter winning that thing. Promise me.”

“I promise.” She nods and he sighs in relief and then turned to leave, quickly joining the mass of Gryffindor students who were climbing the stairs to go to bed.

Hermione knows that whatever it was, was serious and potentially dangerous, she could see the effort Draco was putting in saying those things, as it was physically impossible for him to do it.

Hermione also knew she couldn’t just ask Harry that without giving an explanation and she couldn’t mention it came from Draco. She would try to convince him on her own ways.

 

June 25th, 1995. Quidditch Field. Day 231

 

She never got the chance to talk to him. As Harry never got back from dinner, Ron said he was talking with Moody about last-minute strategies. After that brief encounter with the Auror she got a bad vibe coming from him. He had looked positively dangerous and ready to hex them both.

She wondered if he knew what Draco was trying to tell her.

The next evening, as the school were heading to watch the third task, she searched everywhere for the blond hair, but he was nowhere to be seen. She also tried to talk to Harry but Moody had a strong hand on his shoulders at all times, not letting him stray from him. Every time she got closer to him, his electric blue eye fixated on her, as daring her to say anything.

Hermione started to bite her nails and her leg was jumping up and down and kept that way from the second Harry stood at the entrance of the maze till the moment he appeared on the floor, blood bathed and with a dead Cedric under his body.

And then she understood Draco’s warning.

 

July 7th, 1995. Hogsmeade Station. Day 243

 

“Your fucking monster of a father was there Malfoy! You little foul…

“Harry!” She got in the middle, stopping him. Her eyes were filled with tears since the end of the task and the news of what had happened had come. She only saw Draco on the day of the announcement where the blond boy looked terrified; his eyes rimmed red and his head down the entire time.

“Get out of the way Hermione, he deserves to pay for what he did.”

“He did nothing Harry. He’s not his father.” She countered. “Come on, let’s go.”

Harry shrugged of her hold on him and turned to get in the train, Ron along with him.

“You promised me.” He cried and Draco looked horrible, he had dark, purple circles under his eyes.

“Moo—Bart Crouch Jr. knew you told me, he kept Harry in his office the whole night and on the day of the task he never left his side. I couldn’t say more than ‘don’t win please.’ 

“Whatever. It doesn’t matter now. It’s done.” He shrugged it off, entering the train, she followed.

“It does matter, you warned me, you knew they were planning on killing him and you tried to save him.” She called and he stopped on his tracks, she stumbled on him. He merely rolled his eyes at her but steadied her all the same.

“No Granger, I’m not big on heroics like you Gryffindor folk. I tried to save my ass.” He clarified, and she knew it wasn’t entirely true. 

Of course, Draco entire life was revolved around getting the best of every situation, but this, this was bigger than him.

Or she thought so.

“Well, I’m glad you really care about the safety of your ass. Thank you.” He scoffed, but then sighed, shaking his head and looking at her like she was out of this world.

“Why are you thanking me? He’s back. There will be a war.”

“I know.” She said and smiled a little, “Can I owl you this summer?”

“By all means, but don’t expect to be answered.” He replied and walked off.

“Hey!” She called him back and she chuckles when she hears him sigh, “I figured how Skeeter knew everything that was going on.” Hermione quipped happily and smirks at his face when he turns around.

“How?” He asked, and she knows he is impressed.

“That’s not important, but I don’t think you will be selling her any more stories to her.”

“What are you talking about?” He asks warily.

“See you in September.” She sings and stops in front of the compartment Harry and Ron were seating. 

He rolls his eyes at her and Hermione catches a hint of pride in his eyes.

“Yeah, see you Granger.” He replies and Ron, noticing the two standing outside jumped up and opened the door.

“What the bloody hell are you doing here Malfoy? What are you talking to him?”

“Sod off Weasley.” He sneers before leaving for his own compartment on his end of the train.

“What were you talking about with that git?” 

“Nothing.” She says, sitting beside Harry and sighing.

Everything is going to change now.

During the entire trip back, the trio sat in silence in the compartment and she felt like she could explode with the turmoil of emotions going around her.

Fear, dread, confusion and uncertainty, but at the same time she was content and pleased with her new friendship. Overthinking this entire year, their every interaction, trying to understand the reasons why it happened and how it went way beyond what she had gone for the day she asked for his help at the beginning of November.


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: The characters in this story are not mine: they belong to JK Rowling

September 19th, 2003. Malfoy Manor. Day 5431

“Please Theo, you can’t let me go inside alone, he will kill me!” Blaise pleaded, his friend was absurdly annoying. Theo was nothing at all preoccupied with Blaise’s safety, which clearly was at stake right now. His hands were in his pockets and the fucker even yawned twice while Blaise tried to argue why he couldn’t enter the Manor alone. 

“Look, it’s completely your fault that you kept this from him for four months.”

“She asked me to!”

“But then you did and went to his house and asked for his Pensieve anyways, keeping the truth from him when you clearly could’ve had told him” 

“Theo, please!”

“I myself haven’t forgiven you for keeping this from me. You know, I was completely livid when Potter and Weasel cornered me and told me everything before dragging me with them.”

“I will be dead and then I won’t be able to save her.” He muttered, he was completely fucked. 

“But thinking better, it will be awesome to see him skinning you alive…”

“Theo! You are having way too much fun with my potential death”

“Oh, you are right I am! And if he notices you are crushing on his girl then you better Apparate the second he gets a hand on his wand”

“What?” He asked baffled, “I don’t—You are—there’s not—“

“Merlin! This will be hilarious, shall we knock?”

“I don’t have a crush on her!” He insisted.

He couldn’t have a crush on her, that was absurd! Theo was playing with him; he wasn’t being serious.

She cared about Hermione of course, she is an amazing witch and of course, she is beautiful and has a great sense of humor even with the circumstances, but he didn’t crush on her. No he did not.

“Blaise, stop fretting, I thought you had realized, it was obvious for me and for Weasley too, he was looking like he could kill you even before you two started”

“But I don’t like her! Theo it’s insane!”

“It’s not. Hermione is brilliant, it’s not news that anyone who spent more than fifteen minutes with her can see that. And you’ve been spending a hell lot of time with her, it’s just normal”

“There’s nothing normal in this! She’s Draco’s and I want them together! Always have!”

“I know that. But that doesn’t mean anything. You can crush on someone but that doesn’t mean you will do something about it or try to pursue it.”

He had a point; Blaise knew that, maybe he was crushing on her. His senior healer had mentioned something about he spending way too much time on her that he needed to focus on his other patients. And okay, there were kisses on her temple, long hugs and too much touching to be casual. But did he ever think about her like that? No. And that he was sure of. He didn’t imagine kissing her or anything, but thinking back on everything, he realized Theo is right. 

“I’m so dead Theo.”

“Stop fussing! He will know something is up if you keep doing that!”

“It’s easy for you to say!”

“Come on Blaise. We look stupid standing outside his gates!”

“How will I tell him?”

“Don’t worry about that. This is a family dinner; you will not say anything during dinner because the whole Malfoy lot will be there. Let the talking to me but please don’t shit your pants till then. 

“Ok.” He replied, trying to dry his hands on his robe’s pants.

“Merlin, I thought you were a Slytherin.”

“Self-Preservation. I’m all about self-preservation.”

Theo snorted and knocked, instantly, Wimpy appeared in front of them.

“Mr. Zabini, Mr. Nott. Master Malfoy is waiting for you gentleman.” The elf said before touching her long and spindly finger on the gate, opening for them.

“Thank you Wimpy” Blaise says and his voice cracks, he is losing it with the elf already. 

Theo snorts, “Get a grip Blaise”, he whispers and elbows him.

The short walk to The Manor was the longest he had in a while. Not even the beautiful white birds in the garden ahead could distract him and he loved running around them as a kid and still with Caelum. 

He tried to breathe, a part of him knew Draco wouldn’t really kill him but he also knew it was unlikely he would leave this place without a hex or two. Wishing he knew Occlumency better, because if Draco started to get suspicious and went for Leggilimens then he would definitely leave this place with a hex. 

The elf directed them through the many corridors they were familiar with, passing the dinner table where another elf was setting it, and now was magically modified to sit six people, and three doors before reaching Draco’s office.

“Master Malfoy, Mr Zabini and Mr Nott are here.”

“Let them in Wimpy, and please tell Mother and Father the dinner will be served in ten minutes.”

“Ok Sir.” The elf left and the two men, grown-ups, Blaise reminded himself, entered the office to a smirking Draco.

“When I said you could bring a date, I thought you were bringing a lady, but I’m glad you and Theo are finally dealing with all the tension.”

“You prat, I missed you too.” Theo said grinning, pulling Draco in a hug, who was laughing.

“It’s been a while mate, where’ve you been?”

“Oh you know, working. The ministry is madness, I almost don’t have any free time”

“I bet, and how’s Daphne?”

“She’s good. Back with all that travelling she does in the Department of International Magical Corporation.”

“But what about the baby?”

“Try telling her that.” Theo sighs, “She will give you a long and detailed speech about how women don’t become invalid just because they were with a baby.”

Draco snorts and then turns to Blaise, “And you Blaise, last time I saw you, you were distraught, how’s St. Mungo’s?”

Blaise is sweating; he was about to reply when the office door opened again and Caelum walked in.

“Dad, Nan and Grandpa are waiting—Oh, hi Uncle Blaise and Uncle Theo.” Caelum smiled at them and they greeted him by ruffling his hair.

“We are going. Let’s go then.”

“Get a grip.” Theo hisses when they cross the door and Blaise nods.

Caelum led the way and Draco walked beside him.

“Theo! So nice to see you again! It’s been a while son!” Lucius greeted and extended a hand for Theo to shake, as it was the most affectionate Lucius could get.

“It’s a pleasure.” He answered. 

Lucius had just finished his stint in Azkaban and was beginning his long imposed exile. 

“How’s beautiful Daphne?” Narcissa asked and after telling she was fine and travelling, Theo sat, Lucius on one end of the table, with Narcissa at his right side and in front of Theo, leaving Blaise to sit in front of Caelum and at Draco’s right side on the other end of the table. 

Before Narcissa could call for dinner, the dining room fireplace chimed green and Astoria walked out of it. 

“Oh! Just in time for dinner!” She says, “I might have missed the invitation.” By the looks on the Malfoys’ faces, there was no invitation.

Narcissa clenched her jaw before drawing another chair and set of plates.

Soon enough, the dinner appeared on the table and they started to eat in silence, with only the clink of their cutlery. It was delicious; they were eating Toad in the Hole with Gorgonzola and Cumberland sausages, sided with pork chops stuffed with sun-dried tomatoes and spinach. 

Blaise wished he could have enjoyed more the meal, as he kept looking around to the disappearing food around him, dreading the moment when they all finish. 

Of course, it arrived before he was ready.

“And how’s being back at Hogwarts? I couldn’t congratulate you on person.” Theo started, talking to Draco.

“It’s nice. The sixth and seventh years already were at Hogwarts when the war happened and they are the hardest to teach, they remember. But other than that, it’s nice being back in the castle.”

They talked more about the school years and the advantages of being Head and soon enough the topic of conversation changed to the Quidditch World Cup last year, which was held in Germany and they all attended.

“Brazil was awesome, I was rooting for them you know, since after Krum went to Hogwarts at our fourth year, I started to dislike him, he’s just brainless and Brazil deserved to win.” Draco says and both men nod feverously. Blaise never understood Draco’s dislike for Krum but he and Theo knew better than to argue against.

“I only wish England would finally show some moves, as the last seven editions we were a joke.” Theo said.

“Well, it’s not like we can expect anything better, the majority of our team is the girls from Holyhead Harpies and Puddlemere United. If we had the Tornadoes’ Seeker and both Beaters from Chudley Cannons we would be much better.” Draco points.

“You are complimenting the Cannons? That’s a new one!” Blaise snorts.

“They have a great team this year, I need to recognize that.”

“Dad is mad the Tornadoes are doing bad this year.” Caelum says, chuckling.

“Oh, I have no doubt!” Theo snorted, “And you? I heard you were starting on a bigger broom!”

“Yes! Dad bought me a new one before he left, Grandpa is teaching me how to get it from the ground.”

“Oh and he’s doing great!” Narcissa answered, “I’m so proud of my grandson, I was watching him the other day and he got it on his first try! Great talent my grandson has, immense potential. He’s so smart, I didn’t expect any less.” She finishes and Blaise notices Astoria clenching her fist and breathing in, clearly trying to ignore it.

Good. It was just like any other dinner at the Manor. Narcissa and Astoria at each other’s hair, Narcissa showing her blatant favoritism and Astoria ignoring till the second the Malfoy woman would push too much and they both start actively fight. 

Theo hadn’t come to many dinners at the Manor to fully know their dynamic. The four had an awful time when all together and Astoria refused to take the hint she wasn’t wanted.

Blaise never understood why Narcissa acted this way, maybe it was because Narcissa simply disliked every woman Draco dated and made it a mission to make them scatter as soon as possible, or simply because she was mean for her own amusement. 

Astoria, poor thing, had it bad. Astoria was determined to have the Malfoy name and seemed to believe she’d get it if she insisted enough. Blaise knew Draco was beyond relieved that The Manor was big enough for both of them and they almost never had to see the other, staying as far as they could.

“So, tell me Theo,” Lucius gets the attention, clearly trying to avoid another Narcissa and Astoria row, “how’s work at the ministry? Blaise told us about the attacks, any more news on the topic?” Lucius asks, and Blaise is glad that Theo was naturally devoid of facial expressions.

“Yeah, about that,” he wavers and looks from Narcissa to Draco and sighs, “that’s basically why I was glad Blaise invited me to come.”

“Why? Something happened?” Draco asks worriedly, and Blaise pointedly avoided his face

“Yes, there were new attacks.”

“Really? And what that shitty ministry is doing about it?” Lucius asks with gritted teeth and cold eyes.

“It’s going to be announced on the Prophet tomorrow morning, danger alert, and they will be setting wards at the potential victims’ house.” Theo explains, while Lucius murmurs something about corruption and money-moved politicians.

“Potential victims? You mean former Death-Eaters? I will be long dead before anyone from the ministry come knock at my door to set wards for us.” Narcissa rages and just like her husband, murmured something under her breath.

“Oh, but they will.” Theo said. “Two people were killed,” the Malfoys gasped, “Mr. Macmillan was found dead with a note and Mrs. Malfoy, they are going after your family.” Theo finishes apologetically.

“What?” She asks outraged, “What my family has to do with this? We are the most recluse family nowadays! I can’t even live my house properly and now this! I told you Lucius, we were better off if we had gone to Norway after we got freed.”

“Wouldn’t that be lovely.” Astoria quipped and Narcissa wiped her head so fast in her direction that it was impressive how her head was still in place.

“Of course, it would, because then I wouldn’t need to see your gold digger face everyday.” 

Oh, and there it was, Narcissa Malfoy in her finest. Theo looked scandalized and Blaise whispered ‘it’s normal between the two’ the same time Draco scowls at his mother.

“Mother! Not in front of Caelum, please.” Blaise has to keep from laughing at that. His best friend couldn’t give a flying fuck about the way his mother treated Astoria.

But she simply ignored and was glaring at Astoria with such ferocity that even Lucius, who more often than not was lenient with his wife behavior, interfered.

“The matter in hand is, how do they know they are after my wife’s family?”

“The note said very specifically, ‘we are going to end the Black’s family blood one by one.’”

“The other attack, who was it?” Draco asks and Blaise tenses. 

There we go.

“Molly Weasley” 

“What?” Draco blurts, “and how’s Her--I mean, how she was attacked? And I thought everyone knew they are considered blood-traitors, no one even think of them as pureblood.” He rephrased and Blaise could see the actual question and worry in his best friend’s eyes.

“There was a note with her too, ‘not even blood-traitors will be spared.’” Theo explained, “and The Burrow was empty other than her, everyone else was working.” Theo continued and everyone knew the real meaning of his words.

Hermione is okay.

“And how do you know about all of this? It’s not your department.” Lucius asked, and Blaise needs to stop underestimating the Malfoy family and their perception.

“My office was attacked as well. You know, I work at the Wizarding Birth Control because being Hit Wizard doesn’t pay well enough like it does as an Auror or if your father was a Death Eater… But anyways, my colleagues and I were stunned and all of our files stole.

‘Potter and Weasley came and they filled me in on everything.”

“They are really going track down every single one.” Narcissa croaked and she looked at Draco with so much worry it was almost as he was sixteen and with a death threat again.

“Yeah, and then we went to Blaise and told him and Hermione. She reckons it’s probably a muggle born who’s behind it, or even a half-blood, and someone who would want revenge your family.”

Blaise entire body tensed, Theo had slipped something, and he wasn’t sure it went unnoticed. He looked around but apparently everyone was more worried with being targets.

“But that’s almost every muggle born.” Narcissa concluded,

“That’s what she said too. That’s the tough part, but she also said that, since the person doing is probably a muggle born, they will track down descendants in the muggle way and—“

“Only blood related, not marriage or whatever.” Draco said and the look on his face and his tone was nauseating. He not only realized she wasn’t going to be a target, but knew exactly what she thought and it was extremely proud of her.

Blaise was fucked.

“Exactly! She thinks Daph, Pansy, Blaise and I are out of danger and probably Lucius as well, if the killer really follows the bloodlines, but given the circumstances…”

“It’s unlikely.” Lucius says, and he takes hold of his wife’s hand, “So what do we do now? My family and I wait for these killers to knock on our door? It’s not like I can leave this bloody house.”

“The ministry will set wards around The Manor and—“

“Shacklebolt would rather kill us himself than to set wards here.”

“Oh, but they will. She’s involved and if Potter doesn’t come here first thing tomorrow, she will drag his sorry arse herself.” Theo said and smirked at Draco, who, hilariously was trying to contend his own smile ended up doing a fish mouth.

“I want to cast a Fidelius Charm around our property. I know how to cast one and it’s more trustful then wards.” Narcissa said firmly.

“What good would it do, when everyone already knows where the Manor is?” Astoria asked.

“Because,” she started, with a tone she used to explain things to a 2-year-old Caelum, “it doesn’t matter they already know where it is, with this extremely powerful charm they could be camping around here for an entire year and they wouldn’t be able to see anything, the house would be invisible.”

“And we would be trapped inside!”

“Oh, by all means, you can stay with your sister if you want, I can even call Wimpy to help you pack.”

“Mother.” Draco sighs and it's more out of habit than anything.

“And who would we choose to be our Secret Keeper? It must be someone who we can trust to not tell and someone who won’t be obvious.” Lucius asked and Narcissa smiled maliciously at them.

“Well, there’s only one person that I fully trust to protect our family without anyone knowing. It’s Hermione Granger.”

The room remained in dead silence for a total of ten seconds before it exploded, and the woman started to argue. Draco was dumbfounded, he stared at his mother with wide eyes and parted lips while Lucius protested about dignity, hierarchy and a muggle born guarantying the Malfoy family safety and such important secret.

“—You disrespect me every single day! She’s a muggle-born why you like her so much is beyond me!”

“I don’t like her Astoria, I just dislike you more.” She says calmly, like she was saying the weather.

“I never did anything to you! Or to that boy to have you showing your blatant favoritism all the time!”

“That boy is sitting right here.” Draco said with clenched teeth and narrowed eyes.

“I’m glad you see my point.” Narcissa said sarcastically. 

“Mother, please and I won’t put her in danger if word gets out—“ Draco interjected.

“You won’t put her in danger? What about me?” Astoria screeched.

“You!” Narcissa scoffed loudly, “unfortunately you are not interesting enough to people want to kill you!”

“Caelum, Cissy.” Lucius said before putting another bite on his mouth.

“Draco! Do something! Your mother doesn’t respect—“

“You never did anything to earn my respect! You jumped from boy to boy with the biggest vault at school and when you finally landed at ours you and your grabby little hands made a residence! Not to mention you and your family flew to South America the moment Dumbledore was killed and returned years after Voldemort’s destruction. That woman, a muggle-born and the Chosen One’s best friend fought the greatest wizard from our time while pregnant, when she had all the reasons to live in South America. You were drinking caipirinhas while getting a tan in the Brazilian’s beach the entire war.”

“I was sixteen! I didn’t have much say in that! You insult me at any given chance because of that? Because my family chose to keep us alive! Everyone wanted to live!”

“Everyone fought for their lives. Imagine how I felt when my son decided to kip with your coward face after everything that girl had done for my grandson and the rest of us. It was an insult to my Caelum.”

“My coward face? Oh, that’s golden from the family known for their cowardice!” She scoffed and the three Malfoys snapped their head to the brunette. 

“Don’t you dare insult my family in my own house!” Lucius roared.

“His house!” She hits the table in rage, “your problem isn’t with me and we both know that! You are forever bitter about the fact that you and your supremacist family are so shallow that your precious Caelum can’t be the rightful heir of the Malfoy fortune! You can love him all you want but that doesn’t change the fact that he is still a half-blood.” Astoria sneered and Narcissa cold stare become frigid. “You are afraid that Draco and I will end up marrying and have a son!”

It was like the room had gone several degrees colder and Blaise was sure Narcissa’s stare could freeze hell.

“Get out.” Narcissa said, and Astoria was smart enough to remain silent. She looked at Draco, expecting support but he also was glaring at her.

“We are definitely not getting married nor having a child any time soon,” Draco said, “you heard my mother.”

Astoria scoffed loudly but left, Caelum was staring at one face to the other, not quite able to follow what had just happened.

Lucius sighed and with a much calmer voice, said, “She has no reason to be the secret keeper for the Manor, that girl almost died in here.” Lucius already knows he has no chance of out arguing his wife.

“She has every reason to. Her son leaves here. She’s a great witch and—“

Before Blaise could stop himself, he blurted, “she can’t.”

“What?” 

“She can’t be the Secret Keeper,” he repeated, taking a deep breath. “It’s a powerful spell and it takes a lot from the keeper of the secret as it uses their soul.”

“Yes it’s a powerful spell and it take tremendous effort but there’s no reason why she can’t be our Secret Keeper.”

“She can’t.” Blaise said sighing; his hands were starting to sweat as the three Malfoys stared at him curiously.

“I can’t see why Blaise, unless she’s not—Oh! I see.” She says as realization dawns on her. “Now everything adds up. I was wondering why you, a healer from St. Mungo’s were the one to warn Draco about the attacks when they were keeping it secret and it didn’t had any victims.” She watches Blaise curiously and he squirms on his seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okayyy... Like I mentioned in the beginning, I started writing this in 2014 and only now that I'm posting the chapters that I realized how big of a cliffhanger this chapter ends.... sorry.
> 
> Comments are like payment for writers


	9. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I'm back with another one! the response to this work has been really good and I'm really really happy.
> 
> This chapter contains a little bit of violence in the beginning, if you don't feel comfortable, you can skip it.

September 19th, 2003. Malfoy Manor. Day 5431

“What are you talking about Mother?” Draco asks, but in the way he sits tense and brooding, his grey eyes widened and shifting from him to Theo, Blaise knows he already did the math.

“We shouldn’t discuss this in the dinner table.” Theo chimed in and Blaise wished he had kept quiet.

“She’s is sick, isn’t she?” Narcissa concludes and Blaise closes his eyes. He hears Draco gasp and a glass shattering. “That’s how you know. You are treating her.”

“Zabini, I’m going to ask you one last time, what’s my mother talking about?” Draco asks, his voice is pure ice.

“Draco, let’s go to your office, he will tell you everything, please.” Theo proposes and motioned to get up, grabbing Blaise’s arm to get up as well.

“I’m not going anywhere before Zabini answers my question.”

Blaise looks at Caelum and at Narcissa and the woman quickly rises from her seat and picks the boy up, leaving the room with him. Finally, he looks at Draco and hopes his face shows how sorry he is, “she’s dying Draco.” He whispers and the words hadn’t even finished leaving his mouth when he is being pressed against the nearest wall and the others exclaim.

“Draco, mate, let him go. He will explain everything. Please.” Theo tries to push Draco away from him, but he isn't moving. His cold eyes are unblinking and boring on him, he could see Draco’s veins on his neck and Blaise is slowly becoming breathless as the taller boy grips harder on his neck. 

“She begged me not to.” He breathed out and he can see the minimal change of emotion on Draco’s eyes as he backed off.

“The two of you, in my office right now.” Both men nodded and walked in front of Draco, Blaise caressing his neck which probably was red.

They enter, and Draco shuts the door with such strength that the door handle explodes on the other side. 

“Start talking.” He orders in a low voice and he knows Draco is dangerous right now. He had faced an enraged Draco countless times and nothing compares to now. Every glimmer of a sneer or a scowl is absent from his face, his face is nothing but a blank, while his body trembles and the hand holding his wand twitches, as he is using every ounce of strength to keep from hexing Blaise. 

“She was attacked four months ago—" Something explodes on his right side and Blaise vaguely recognizes the remaining of a chair. Draco has lost all his control now, he is seething, his once grey eyes are now dark, he can't even see the grey anymore, his face red as a phoenix.

‘Potter and Weasley were following some clues about suspicious activity from former Death Eaters and Shacklebolt didn’t want any other Auror involved so it wouldn’t draw attention, they asked for her and she went.

‘She got hit with a curse and we did everything we could to find what it was, but it was dark magic and nothing like we’ve seen before. It hit her small bowl and started to spread quickly, shutting down her organs; we managed a potion to slow down the process to a minimum while we searched for a cure. 

‘We’ve been trying since, I swear Draco, we are doing everything we can, but nothing works. The poison is nearing her heart now, she’s very weak.”

“I—I just saw her—I don’t—but at King’s Cross she was—she can’t.”

“She was heavy in potions. She wanted to see Longbottom and you before going to Hogwarts.”

Blaise had seen many versions of Draco Malfoy. But nothing prepared him to the look on Draco’s face right now. 

His breathing is completely out of control, he hiccupped from the fast heaving and dropping of his chest. The hand that holds his wand is now in his white-blond hair, pulling on the strands, tearing them off. Blaise isn’t sure Draco noticed the tears now running down his eyes, which stares blankly at the rest of the chair he just destroyed. The sound of maniacally laughter escapes from his throat and he brings his other hand to his mouth, while shaking his head from one side to the other.

“Four months.” Draco laughs, crazed. “You kept this from me FOR FOUR MONTHS!” Another laugh, “I can remember how many times we talked about her in this time and you never said a word.” He says coldly, all the laughter gone from his tone.

“She made me promise not to tell. I begged her to tell you and Caelum countless times.” 

Draco stomps to his table, rest both hands at the mahogany and mutters. “Today is her birthday.” And a loud sob escapes and he screams, throwing every single paper, ink, quill and book to the floor.

Blaise hadn’t realized that and when he glances at Theo, who looked aghast, he realizes he didn’t know either.

“What cruel joke it must be. To tell me she’s dying on the day of her birthday.” He sobbed and swung the table with a lot of strength, causing a loud bang.

“I’m so sorry Draco, I didn’t know, she’s been unconscious for a couple days now I—" He stops at the look Draco gave him.

“What?” Draco asks, and his voice cracks, in a second, Draco goes from pure anger to complete misery.

“She can’t stay awake for long and when she falls asleep, she sleeps for days, but since the Pensieve—“

“It was for her,” Draco remembers. “YOU HAD THE NERVE TO COME TO ME AND ASK FOR THE PENSIEVE WITHOUT TELLING ME THE TRUTH!” And now Draco is crossing the room and is again at Blaise’s throat, the wand at his jaw, “you fucker! You said it was for a dying patient, you said I was going to hear it in the Prophet, you—" Draco is pressing the wand harder on his pulse point, but before Draco could finish his sentence the wand went flying from Draco’s shacking grasp to Theo’s ready hand.

“Give it back Theo. GIVE MY WAND BACK!”

“Calm the fuck down Draco! What are you going to do? Kill him? Kill you best friend?”

“Don’t tell me to calm down! She’s dying! Hermione is dying!” And then Draco goes back to crying, his hands shoots to his face, pressing the palm in his eyes and stifling a scream by biting his lips, drawing blood.

“We are going to save her, I’m not letting her die Draco, I promised her. I promise you Draco, she’s not going to die.”

The blond wipes his head so fast that Blaise is sure he heard it snap, his eyes are narrowing at him and he looks murderous.

“You said it was for an important patient and you cared a lot about her.” He says accusingly, and Blaise knows this tone way too well to go unnoticed. Theo knows as well because until now he had kept far from the two, but now he steps closer.

“Draco no. I swear to God, it’s not that.” He insists, but as soon as the words leave his mouth, he knows it’s the wrong thing to say.

“You don’t believe in God. This is a muggle expression. She used to say all the time.” He says each sentence more heatedly.

“Draco I—“ The words dies in his throat when Draco fist smashes his face, making him see stars.

“Draco!” Theo shouts. 

“You asked if I would ever go after her again.” Draco spits and cleans his bloody hand on his robes.

“That’s not why I asked! I promise Draco, it’s not like that! I would never! I care about her I do, but as a friend!” He yells, one hand coming to his throbbing nose, which was bleeding a lot.

“You are lying.” He seethes.

“I’m not lying, trust me please.”

“HOW CAN I TRUST YOU WHEN YOU KEPT THIS FROM ME?” Draco explodes and even without his wand a couple of books fly from its shelves. Theo jumps when a book hit him. “You know what she means to me. You know she’s everything, how could you do that to me?” 

Before Blaise could answer, he felt Draco entering his mind.

He could see Draco wading through his memories, from the days at Hogwarts, with Hermione crying at his shoulder, while Draco was still on the run, to the moment she appeared in Weasley’s arms and they tried everything to bring her back, from hours and hours of trying to come up with something, every conversation they shared, the kisses on her hair or the times he fell asleep hugging her, Blaise’s pleads to tell Draco and Caelum, to watching her struggling to remain alive and to the last few days, hers and Weasley’s fight, every single word of love about the blond she said and her discovery, the potential cure.

The moment Draco pulled back he fell to the floor and sobbed, the sound of his broken sobs was heart breaking, and Blaise kneeled beside him.

“You saw it all, we can find her cure now. She needs your help.”

“It’s almost impossible. It was never done before, she can die if the slightest thing goes wrong.” Draco cries.

“She trusts you to save her, you saw it. Save her Draco, please.”

“I need you two to leave. I want to be alone.”

“Draco…”

“Go, Blaise.” He nods and gets up, Theo remains silent and the two leave the room to a disheveled Draco, screaming in suffering.

 

September 21st, 2003. St. Mungo’s. Day 5433

 

“What happened to your face?” Hermione asks the minute she sees Blaise walking inside her room. 

It was filled with all kind of balloons, putting some color in the whiteness of the room. Her bed had many cards opened and a few presents and sweets, “Happy Birthday Granger.” He greets and she makes a face.

“It was two days ago. But it’s okay, I forgot it myself and just got up.”

“Got anything nice?”

“Are we going to pretend the purple around your nose isn’t there?”

Blaise sighed. “Let’s say he didn’t like what I had to say to him.” She looks instantly at the door, as if it was his cue to enter, but then looks back at Blaise and blushes. “Potter went there yesterday to set wards, he didn’t see him, Narcissa told him Draco haven’t left his office since the news.”

“Is he mad?”

“Mad is an understanding.”

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s not your fault.” 

“But it is.” He sighs and sits at the end of her bed.

“How’s the Weasleys?”

“I got a birthday card from all of them, except Ginny. I don’t think she ever forgave me about Draco. Harry told me the funeral was yesterday morning; it was beautiful, he said. Ron’s birthday card had two lines.” She handed him the card that read:

You were always willing to let us have the best. I should’ve realized you dating me was another self-sacrifice. Happy birthday.

“Well, it could have been worse.” He points out and she laughs sadly.

“Yes, I just don’t know what to do.”

“I’m sorry.”

She smiles at him and nods, “I don’t know how things got this messed up.”

“Oh Granger, we are the war-generation, we have always been messed up. You probably had it worse; I only saw the face of war when I was fifteen. You saw when you were 12.”

“Imagine if I had ended up in Ravenclaw, I would have had such a chill Hogwarts.” She wonders and they both laugh.

“Blaise,” she calls, after ten minutes of silence and it pains him to already know what she is going to ask, “do you think he will come?”

“Of course, he will.”

“We never fought for us you know? He never asked me to run with him, I never asked him to stay. After his trial, his mother offered to keep Caelum and I asked him to not come when she picked him up, I didn’t want to say goodbye again, but I packed a bag for me all the same, I had this crazy thought he would be the one there and we would run away from the world and be just us. I was ready to leave everything for him.

‘Every time I went to meet Narcissa to see Caelum, or to your house or Pansy’s, I always had a bag with me. He never came Blaise.”

“Hermione—"

“I know he’s your best friend and I’m sure he will do everything he can to save me, I know that. What I don’t know is if he will come for me.”

“He told me you saw each other at King’s Cross. He talks about you like you put the stars in the sky. You deserve the world Hermione, and he couldn’t give it to you, he chose then to be selfless for the first time in his life, he chose to give you a chance to have the world.”

“But what was I supposed to do if he’s my world?”

And Blaise wished he could say it didn’t break him hear that, and his eyes didn’t fill with tears. He wished he never had come back to Hogwarts to redo his seventh year and never got to spend almost every passing second with her and discover how cruel the world was to her. Blaise wished she were still the mudblood and the girl with too-big-teeth and bushy hair. That Hermione Granger was still just a face he saw in the corridors and someone he never got the pleasure to know. Because right now, watching her fight for her life, for every breath and every blink of an eye, to watch her sleep and beg for her to wake up for one more day, it was cruel. 

As he watched the girl who proved every single Slytherin wrong, who saved his best friend and the entire wizarding world lay in that hospital bed, too thin, too broken, and listened to the crack in her voice, when the girl who deserved everything in life says the only thing she ever wanted was the very same thing the world stole from her, he realized how fucked up the world is.

“I don’t know.” He replies and her, with a sad smile, nods. 

When she pulls the Pensieve to her lap Blaise knows it's his cue to leave, so he gets up from her bed and after giving her the daily potions, leaves the room. When he closes her door behind him, Draco is standing outside looking worse than death itself. He still wore the same clothes he was during dinner, the bottoms of his bottom-up were all wrong, his hair was a mess of white-blond strands, he had three-day old stubble, his eyes were red and sullen, with dark circles around and smelling heavily of fire-whiskey. 

“I shouldn’t be eavesdropping I know.” He slurs, and his breath is terrible.

“How long have you been standing there?”

“I followed you down the hall.” He points to a random direction and Draco isn’t one of getting drunk, he always handled alcohol dangerously well. Blaise can’t even fathom how much the blond had drunk.

“What are you doing here?”

“I don’t know. I came to see her because I couldn’t believe what I saw, but then I’m here now and I can’t make myself enter the room and I listened to her and what if I’m not enough? What if I can’t save her? What if the only time I fight for her she ends up dying and Blaise, she can’t die! I will lose it if she dies! 

‘She said I never came but I always did, every time Mother took Caelum I was there, I couldn’t not see her, and Blaise I see her every day, she haunts me, how can someone still be alive and haunt me? I see her in crowded rooms and in windows, I hear her laugh. I need to see her at least once every day and if she dies what am I going to do? 

‘There won’t be more muggle coffee shops I can sit to watch her leave the ministry or visit Theo way too many times because his office is across the hall from hers before he noticed! I can’t live in a world where she doesn’t exist.” He blabbers, and Blaise had a hard time following every sentence.

“You stalk her, that’s creepy.” He says, after a few seconds of just looking at the broken mess that was his friend.

“I couldn’t ever go years without seeing her again Blaise.” 

“So, you better get your shit together and save her, otherwise you will have long years ahead of you.”

“Do you think we could get married?”

“What?” He blurts, obviously not expecting that.

“She looked so beautiful at Potter’s wedding, I loved her so much that day, but she looked so sad and she was wearing the platinum with diamonds pendant I gave her, with the green tourmaline—“

“Wait, wait, wait! Hold on! You what? You were at the wedding? You weren’t invited! I was there!” He had had a thing with Luna Lovegood last year and she invited him with her and he agreed because it was an excuse for free booze.

“I needed to see if she was happy, and if she loved him like she loved me.”

“How?”

“Caelum and Teddy stole Potter’s invisibility cloak from Potter’s room for me.”

“What? Draco! What is wrong with you? You made your four-year-old steal a cloak?”

“I just needed to see her in a wedding, we talked about it once you know?”

“You talked about wedding when you were sixteen?”

“We always said, ‘we only have the castle walls’, but we liked to pretend we had our entire lives, so we imagined.”

“Merlin, you are unbelievable. I can’t believe you crashed Potter’s wedding.” He says, shaking his head, but he couldn’t help the laugh out of him when he looked at Draco’s drunken grin. “Are you going in?”

“Not today. I’m drunk. Tomorrow I will come again.”

“Of course you will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the drill, comments bring life to writers. 
> 
> you can find me on twitter if you want it's singuiarritae


	10. Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo here comes another one!! Hope you guys enjoy it and again, thank you so much for all the feedback.
> 
> All characters belong to JKR and Warner Bros

August 31st, 1995. Grimmauld Place. Day 297

 

“The Hogwarts letters! Everyone come here!” Molly called and soon red-haired children appeared from everywhere to the living room, “Hermione dear, you have another letter for you.” The girl turns her head to the window and see the familiar eagle-owl standing at the windowsill, looking extremely offended and disgusted. She suppresses a snort, you could only expect Draco’s owl to have a scowl.

She quickly retrieves the letter and shoos the owl away, “Go, I will send the reply later.” before Harry or Ron arrives from Ron’s room and recognizes the owl.

Hermione opens the one without a name, scolding herself mentally for her heart beating faster than usual in anticipation. It was the first time he replied to any of her owls.

**I’m Prefect! Tell me you didn’t get the badge, so I can finally put you in detention for being extremely annoying. If you sent that book because you thought I have resemblances with Dorian Grey, I’m deeply wounded Granger. But if it were merely a coincidence, I agree it is a spectacular novel.**

**I will return it to you at Hogwarts,**

She giggled and carefully folded the letter and put inside the back pocket of her jeans. She had sent the book exactly because of their resemblances; she could see so much of Draco in Dorian’s quotes and ways that when she re-read the book in the beginning of the summer, she thought of him multiple times and it only made sense to send it to him. 

She opened her Hogwarts’ letter and saw she had received her own badge.

“Oh! You are a Prefect as well!” Molly exclaimed happily and Hermione notices Ron is holding his own badge.

 

September 1st, 1995. Hogwarts Express. Day 298

The whole train ride Ron kept talking about how dull it was to be made Prefect and that it wasn’t such a big thing, but the moment the new Head Boy came to their compartment to gather the prefects in the Prefect’s Compartment, he was the first one to get up.

She sees the blond the second she enters, he has his usual smirk on and sneers at Ron after seeing he is Prefect as well. Hermione rolls her eyes.

The first sneer and roll of eyes of the term was five seconds in each other’s presence. She missed him.

“Well, since everyone is here now, we can start.” Alicia Spinet, the Head Girl said.

She explained how the night’s patrol worked, what were the Prefect’s responsibilities and the password to the Prefect’s Bathroom--the highly spoken and anticipated bathroom.

“Fifth year Prefects will patrol on Mondays and Thursdays, Sixth Years’ on Tuesdays and Fridays and Seventh years’ on Wednesdays and Saturdays. On Sundays we rotate weekly, starting with the Fifth Years’.

‘The patrol will be done by one boy and one girl from different houses. Each pair is responsible for patrolling two floors. Roger will read the list with the pairs and you will remain paired till the end of the term.”

“Macmillan and Patil, Weasley and Abbott, Malfoy and Granger, Goldstein and Parkinson.” 

She looked side-eyed at Draco and the boy isn’t sneering or scowling, so she knows it could have been worse. 

Roger kept reading the list of names and Alicia told them to meet her every Monday after dinner at the Head’s office to learn about what floor they’d be patrolling and to turn in a report of the week’s patrol.

Hermione and Draco were the last pair to be told which floors they would be patrolling this week.

“Not only you won’t be able to put me in detention, but you will be patrolling with me.” She says grinning and he rolls her eyes.

“You know, this was supposed to be fun.”

“This is a responsibility!”

“Well, at least I am paired with you! I won’t have much to do so I can train for Quidditch and I finally win that Quidditch Cup.” He says dismissively.

“You wish! What about for once you act with maturity and not like you own the bloody world!” she snaps, he smirks at her, like it is exactly the reaction he wanted to achieve.

“Haven’t you heard? My family basically owns the magical world, Granger.” He says with superiority and pride, Hermione only scoffs.

“You are insufferable.”

“It’s part of my charm. See you at rounds.” 

 

September 2nd, 1995. Potions Classroom. Day 299

 

“You are doing it wrong.” She hisses, knowing that if Snape even hears her voice, she will lose points for just reminding him of her existence. 

Draco snorts besides her, letting her know she had said that out loud. “I’m not doing it wrong!”

“You are! You added too much syrup of hellebore and it’s supposed to turn purple after turquoise, not straight away.”

“I added the exact right amount!”

“I was counting!”

“Well, you clearly don’t know how to count!”

“Piss off!”

“Language Granger and keep shaking the porcupine quills, they are not ready yet.”

“Yes, they are!”

“Merlin why are you so fucking stubborn? Give me that.” He snatches the mortar off her and starts to shake the quills himself.

“I am stubborn? You are the one criticizing everything I’m doing!”

“Because you are doing everything bloody wrong!” He exclaims, attracting attention to them.

“Five points from Gryffindor because Miss Granger doesn’t seem to grasp the basics of potion making.” Snape snarls from his position near the other end of the room.

“Thanks a lot Malfoy, really, cheers!” She elbows him, and he smirks.

“Oh, are we getting a little rough now?” She blushes violently and snatches the quills back,

“Shut up.” She mumbles and adds the quills to the potion, watching it turns red, just like her face probably. 

“What’s the next step?” he asks after stirring till it got orange.

“Oh, now you are asking me?” 

“I was being nice Granger, but if you’re going to be an asshole about it, by all means—"

“Just add more porcupine quills till is turquoise and shut up Malfoy.” She snaps.

“You so need to drink this potion Granger, you need to relax, otherwise you will die before you reach thirty.”

“My cause of death will be your insufferable arse annoying the life out of me.”

“Granger I didn’t know you spent to long staring at my arse.” She snorts and Snape, who was walking behind them stops and looks at her wearily and one second away from taking yet another point out of her, “Thank you for your input, I haven’t notice I was doing it wrong.” Draco says quickly, noticing the Professor.

She gapes at him for a couple of seconds, trying to get him. Draco Malfoy was a weird creature and one that didn’t cease to amaze her. 

He refused to treat her normally or like her friends treated her, their conversations were made around bickering and too many scowls and sneers to be considered friendly, but they made it work. And it was only the second class of the first day of term.

“Thank you.” She mutters, after a bit too long.

“Have you finished powdering the unicorn horn?” It's his reply.

“Yes,” she shows it to him and Draco just hums, clearly not having an excuse to criticize her work and complimenting her wasn’t a choice, “is it purple enough?”

“Yes, add it in and can you stir for me while I powder the moonstone?” He asks and the only reason she nodded was because his please was implied in the tone of his voice.

Hermione got really good at reading him. He wasn’t near as easy to read like her fellow Gryffindors, as the blond kept his heart locked up in a coffin deep down from the surface. But after a year of constant interaction she managed to gather a few things about the boy.

Draco Malfoy is extremely selfish, and once she thought it was because he was spoiled rotten to the core and raised to believe he was the only human being worthy of something in the world, which he probably was. But now, she saw it was much more than that. 

His selfishness is because he doesn’t want to give people a chance hurt him. He is a Malfoy and was raised to believe others will want him for his wealth, for his name and not for him. He second guesses every attitude and is the kind of boy to get suspicious over a ‘how are you?’. He doesn’t understand people being nice to him just for the sake of it and when she stops to think about it – which thinking about him is something she gets herself doing more and more in each passing day – she sees how sad it must be, to be 15 and to fully believe the world is out to get something from him. 

She hadn’t seen not even half of the real him, but she already knows he’s much more than what he makes people see.

“Why are you so quiet? It’s unnerving.” He nudges her, getting her attention back to the potion.

She chuckles, and he looks at her perturbed, “you need to decide how you want me, you complain when I talk too much and when I’m silent.” He smirks at her and she narrows her eyes in warning, which he takes as an invitation.

“How I want you Granger is not the topic of discussion right now, but I’m sure I can think of something later.”

“Stop doing that.” She hisses, and Draco’s smirk grow wider and if she wasn’t extremely embarrassed, she would notice how beautiful he was with his hair slightly out of place and his forehead with a hint of sweat.

“Doing what?” He asks innocently.

“You know exactly what!” She stresses and snatches the porcupine quills from his hand to finish adding it herself, he merely laughs at her distraught.

She wasn’t going to say it, so he could have yet another thing to make fun of her.

“I don’t know what you are talking about, so I can’t stop doing whatever you say I’m doing.” She scoffs at his ridiculousness and decides to ignore him for the remaining of the class.

When it was time to stop brewing and Snape walked around the caldrons to inspect the potions, Hermione had the feeling the term had really started when he insulted Neville’s attempt, making the boy blush furiously, at least he had stopped shuddering when Snape was near him. She watched him ridicule Seamus and Dean’s potion, to throw Harry’s away and give him a zero because he skipped one step. But the best moment was when he stood in front of hers and Draco’s potion and watched him struggle with the choice of whether to insult the potion because of her or to compliment the clearly perfect done potion because of Draco. 

“I see you didn’t let Miss Granger ruin your perfect potion.” He snarled, and Draco pinched her leg before she could make a sound. 

“It was challenging, but I managed to tame her Sir.” He replies and Snape smiles pleasantly, making her want to throw up. The Slytherins snicker and she vaguely notices Harry trying to defend her

“Five points to Slytherin for Mr. Malfoy’s outstanding effort.” He says and with a wave, dismissed them.

Huffing and crossing her arms on her chest, she retorted, “Outstanding effort is what I do!”

“You look cute when you are annoyed.” He murmurs, and she blushes. 

 

September 23rd, 1995. Defense Against the Dark Arts Classroom. Day 320

 

Hermione got her second detention ever exactly three weeks later.

“Hem-Hem.” Umbridge stops in front of her desk and Hermione looks up with fake innocence. “Why isn’t your book open?” She asks in her high-pitched, annoying voice and an exaggerated simper.

“I already read everything. And it’s not like I’m going to learn something from it anyway.” She replies indifferently, and she notices the whole class gasping and Draco, behind her, snorting.

“I clearly must be misinterpreting your tone as you couldn’t be insulting the carefully structured, theory-centred, Ministry-approved course of Defence Against the Dark Arts taught by the High Inquisitor according to the Educational Decree #23 and the Professor appointed by the minister himself.” She asks and offers Hermione a fake smile, filled with anger.

“Oh, wasn’t I clear enough? I am insulting you and your bloody ministry-approved-full of shit-class.” She continues, and the entire class begin whispering, Draco is full on laughing right now and she can’t help but to grin at the thought of making him laugh like that.

“Detention!” The woman shrieks and stomped a foot on the floor, “Be at my office tonight straight after dinner.” 

Umbridge tried to restore the order but no one was having the bullshit she was pretending to teach. Hermione knew it was wrong to quarrel with a professor, but her class was a joke. She refused to even let the students touch their wands during her classes. It was Defense Against the Dark Arts for gods’ sake! And with Voldemort’s return they needed to learn how to defend themselves.

 

September 23rd, 1995. Great Staircase. Day 320

 

Later that evening, with a red hand searing in pain and tears in her eyes, she left Umbridge’s Office to meet Draco for their rounds.

He was sitting on the steps of the Great Staircase, near the corridor of the first floor when she found him.

“You are late.” He scowls, but the minute he saw her face his face changed from annoyed to concerned.

“It won’t happen again,” she replied, “let’s start?”

He gets up from the step and they both turn left, in direction of the first-floor corridor. She knows she should pretend nothing happened and talk like she always did during their rounds, but the pain was so intense she couldn’t pretend everything was okay. The only thing she could think was how much pain Harry must be for having to go through that medieval treatment every day for two weeks, she had seen the scar on his hand and the purple bruise on his palm.

They kept walking in silence through the darkness of the castle; the only thing they could hear was their footsteps and the portrait’s snores. When they turned to enter the History of Magic Classroom to see if there were any students inside, Draco unintentionally knocked his hand on hers and she hissed in pain, making new tears fill her eyes.

He looks at her confused, clearly not understanding why such simple touch would make her cry in pain. He looks at her hand and she childishly hides it behind her, “let me see it Granger.” He asks in a harsh tone.

“It’s nothing, let’s go, it’s empty in here.” She moves to leave, but he stops her, grabbing the sleeve of her robes.

“Granger, what did that woman do?”

“It was nothing, she just made me write some sentences,” she says sheepishly, his eyes narrows at her and he touches her hand again, making her hiss, “ouch!”

“Just sentences hum?”

“Let it go, it will stop in no time.” She lies, “we haven’t even finished this floor and we still have the second floor to look.” She walks away, and he follows her.

She can feel his anger coming off him and his jaw is tense, his blue vein visible on his pale neck. He is overreacting.

It took them a little bit over an hour to go around the two floors, only crossing Peeves piling up the chairs in the Defense Against the Dark Arts’ classroom and neither of them said anything to make him stop, Draco even encouraged him. 

“Peeves!” He called, and the poltergeist turned around, looking extremely pleased he was caught.

“Piley, piley, Dolores snappy!” He cackled and kept doing what he was doing.

“I have a game for you Peeves.” He says with a smirk and the poltergeist smiles maniacally at Draco, clapping his gloved hands excitedly.

“Draco, don’t.” She warned, not even noticing she had called him by his first name. He on the contrary, had. He looked at her strangely; it was a look she hadn’t seen in him yet and it unsettled her, making her flush.

“Draco yes, Draco yes! I love games!” Peeves cackled, Draco’s attention returned to the poltergeist.

He conjured dozens of portraits of Umbridge in the air, all scattered around the classroom; each portrait had targets around with different points depending on the location. 50 points if you hit her mouth, and 30 for her forehead and 10 for her hair.

How he did that was beyond her.

“How many slime balloons can you throw at her Peeves? Oh! Double points if you get the balloon to reach solid superficies!”

“Oh! Slimy Dolores! 50 points for the big mouthy!” He sang and started to throw.

“Let’s go,” he said laughing and pulling her along.

“This is so wrong! We shouldn’t be using our responsibilities for this!” She scolded. “What if they find out it was us?”

“No one will know, Peeves will sing about this for ages and it’s not like she doesn’t deserve! Look what she did to you Granger!”

“Well but—“

“If anyone find out I will take the whole blame, ok? Your curriculum will remain clean.” He says and she snorts, as if! 

She smiles sweetly at him. “It’s not that Draco, and I wouldn’t let you take the whole blame!”

And there he was, looking at her that way again. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed, his eyes shining with some emotion she didn’t recognize, but the thing that made her most flustered, besides the intense stare, was the soft smile he had, a small one, just barely lifting the corners of his mouth, making her think he was on some inside joke she was supposed to understand.

“You are calling me by my name.” He speaks faintly, and realization dawns on her. She hadn’t called him Draco out loud, despite calling him that for months now in her head.

She blushes and his smile grows a little, “well, I’m spending a hell lot of time with you for me not to call you by your name.” She shrugs.

“You will always be Granger for me.” He replies with a shrug, and it’s her turn to smile.

“I wasn’t expecting differently.” She says honestly, her name on his voice is something foreign and weird, she doesn’t think she would get used to if he started calling her Hermione.

They resume their walk, parting with goodbyes and ready to finally head to their beds.

 

September 22nd, 2003. St. Mungo’s. Day 5434

 

When Hermione opened her eyes, she jumped at her surroundings, not knowing where she was. She looked around startled and her head throbbed in pain and everything was dizzy for a second before everything came back to her. 

The curse is nearing her brain.

Hermione looked around again, panicked, making sure she knew exactly where everything was, she startled when she saw Narcissa standing near the door.

“How are you feeling, Miss Granger?” She asked, Hermione wasn’t sure if she expected an answer. 

She stared at the woman, unblinking and slightly confused. 

“Are you really here?” She asked, blushing. It was embarrassing being this vulnerable in front of that woman.

Narcissa Malfoy looks taken aback and her powerful posture changes for one more gentle. She watches the woman walk around her room and conjure an armchair that suited her. Clearly the hospital’s one wasn’t good enough.

“Indeed I am. I came for a couple of reasons. Firstly, to wish you well and a belated happy birthday.”

“Thank you.”

“Secondly, I wanted to ask you a favor. I will completely understand if you don’t want to do it, I’ve been already told to not ask you this, but I really wanted for it to be you.” Narcissa said, and in the way, she kept looking at the door of her room Hermione knew it wasn’t something Blaise or any other Healer would approve. “I want to guarantee the safety of my family. Potter already came to set wards around the Manor, but I don’t think wards are enough, as they can be shut down. I want more.”

“You want the Fidelius Charm.”

“Indeed. And I know it will require much strength from you, what you don’t possess right now. But you are the perfect choice. Whoever is hunting down my family won’t ever think of you, because it’s a small circle of people who know your feelings towards my family.”

“And if I die, the secret would be forever safe.”

“I couldn’t ever ask you this for this reason Miss Granger. I love both my son and grandson too much for this.”

“Oh, I’m not saying you though that. I’m sorry if it sounded offensive, I just thought it myself.”

“Miss Granger, he’s not going to let you die.” Narcissa says with a smile.

“Where is he?” She forces out, her throat suddenly choked.

“He’s coming. He just needs to wrap his mind around what it means. He was here yesterday you know,” Hermione’s eyes widen. “Yes, he told me he stood outside your door for hours but couldn’t turn the handle. He almost lost you countless times; he’s not ready to go through that again. But he will come, he always does.”

“I will be your Secret Keeper.”

“Once again Miss Granger, I’m in debt with you,” Narcissa puts a small cloth on her hand, “inside, there’s a portkey to my house, use it when you are ready. Many times, I wished you to be pureblood.”

Hermione didn’t have in her to be offended; she knew this was the most she could ever get from Narcissa.

“And I wish your family wasn’t being hunt down.”

“Well, being a Malfoy is not easy, we grow up around death threats. I’m sure I will live to see at least two more. You, my darling, let’s say you have a handful in your way.”

Hermione isn’t sure if she was hearing things or her cursed brain was processing words that wasn’t being said, but with the passing seconds as she stared the Malfoy matriarch and the woman had yet to give the impression of saying something else, she concluded she wasn’t hearing things yet.

“I’m not a Malfoy.” She blurts out, she is sure her face showed her disappointment in that sentence.

“Oh, but you are.” Narcissa smiles knowingly. “I happen to know what necklace you have hanging around your neck for years now” Hermione eyes widen, her hand came to her chest, where she could feel the green tourmaline necklace. Narcissa’s smile widens “When did he give it to you?” 

“Christmas of 1996.”

“Almost seven years ago.” She says and Hermione hates the sympathetic smile Narcissa gives her, “you know, we used to deny a lot, but years and years ago, Lucius Malfoy I was promised the hand of Queen Elizabeth I and when the Statute of Secrecy in 1962 was imposed, he had to withdraw the proposal and he was furious, placing a jinx on her, impending her to get married.

‘At the time, the Malfoy family was known in high-born Muggle families and great part of our fortune comes from our connections with the royal family, since the beginning, going as far back as King William The First.”

“It was him who gave your family the land in Wiltshire, wasn’t it?” She asks and blushes when Narcissa raises an eyebrow at her, “I got curious when I was 12,” she explains sheepishly. 

“Indeed, it was, but going back to the story, Lucius Malfoy I used his family gem and craved in a ring. The gem was a green tourmaline, known for its healing and life-giving properties. Channeling its electrical energies into the center of one’s carrier, creating a flow of wholesome energy to all parts of the body and self. 

‘The green tourmaline enhances courage and strength, stamina and vitality. Tourmaline is used in almost every healing potions and treatments, as it is known for opening a connection between Earth and Heart. It provides protection, direction, as well as a better sense of smell, producing an aphrodisiac effect.

‘It inspires compassion, tenderness, patience and nurtures a sense of belonging.” She says and takes Hermione’s hand in hers; the younger woman can’t help the tears that are falling from her eyes. “When Lucius Malfoy I used the gem to put in a ring, he charmed it to enhance them all and created a link between the giver and the carrier, where both parts would always profit from the gem as long as it was being used. Obviously, he never gave it to her and then cursed the gem to only be used by one’s true love. 

‘The gem passed through generations and generations and only one Malfoy woman was able to use it. As you probably know, the Malfoy family is known for arranged marriages, so you can only assume how many married without love. Lucius and I, for instance, I was betrothed to him from a very young age after my oldest sister stunt, and he was three years older than me, so we never paid attention to each other at Hogwarts, I only got to know him weeks before our wedding.”

‘I never explained the properties of the gem to Draco, but he’s crafty and I bet he researched about it when he stumbled upon it all those years ago. He knew exactly what he was doing when he asked permission to put it in a necklace and give it to you.”

“You knew he was going to give it to me?” She asks confused, Hermione always thought if Narcissa knew about them during Hogwarts she’d do something to stop it.

“During the summer of ’96, my sister and I taught him Occlumency and since the beginning he was very skilled, and I knew it was because he had something to hide so I might have stumbled upon a kiss or two—I know what you are thinking, I didn’t know back then who you were, I never learned a name in the memories I saw, but if I had, I would have stopped him.

‘Miss Granger, I’m still a great believer of blood supremacy and you and Caelum remain the only exception to the rule. If you weren’t worthy of my son, of my family’s name, that necklace would have burned you the moment you put it on or like happened to the only Malfoy wife who wore it, it burned her the second she fell in love with another man and she couldn’t put it back again.

‘You might not have married him, but this necklace is the heirloom of our family. Even my husband recognizes the importance of the necklace and knows you have it. We know you are family. I don’t like you as per now, but I’d like very much for you to not die so I can know you and understand why my son knew at sixteen, you would be it for him.”

Hermione started crying half an hour ago, but her tears kept falling with every new word coming from the woman. 

All of her life, all of Hermione ever wanted, was to feel like she belonged somewhere, like she had a place. She didn’t belong in the Muggle world since she got the letter, but she never felt like she belonged in the Wizarding World too. She had too much to learn and to understand; she didn’t feel like a place where she needed to learn everything about, was hers. But at the same time, it was more hers like the Muggle world ever was. She only ever had the Weasleys, but as much as they cared and loved her, some things were strained when it was clearly, she wouldn’t let go of Caelum and Draco. She knew it was something they hadn’t forgiven.

But right now, she felt like she finally found the place where she belonged. And as ironic as it was, the most aristocratic, prejudiced, conservatory and cunning family in the wizarding world, was where she belonged.

"And I saw it." Narcissa says after a while, "on that day. When you saved that girl. I saw it."

Hermione nods, she remembers that day. Remembers her panic when she spotted Narcissa on the room.

“Mrs. Malfoy, you said the gem has healing and life-giving properties. You said it enhances vitality and heals the heart.”

“I knew you were going to understand.”

“That’s why when I saw him at King’s Cross, I felt more alive than ever, and when I said what I said to Ron, I felt the life spreading around me, I felt revitalized.”

“Indeed. You and my son have a strong bond between the two of you. Be it because of the gem or enhanced because of it, I don’t know, but even with years apart this bond remains intact. When you finally acknowledged the bond for the first time or when the two of you saw the other after years, the gem responded by making its magic flow.”

“If they use the gem with the potion they will try to brew, do you think I will live?”

“I’m positive the chances are yet better.”

“Mrs. Malfoy, thank you.” She says honestly, “for Caelum and for what you just told me. You had no reason to tell me all of this or to raise Caelum, and you did both.”

“Caelum was one of the greatest things to happen in my life. He brought so much light in our house. He is pure happiness and he taught us about kindness, and honesty, and generosity. Raising him was a pleasure and my biggest life lesson.” She says in such honesty and so full of adoration that made Hermione burst with pride. “And I’d do anything to get that air for brains out of my house.”


	11. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I'm back with another one! thank you again for all the support you guys have been giving this fit!! it really amazes me
> 
> hope you enjoy!
> 
> again, the characters are not mine and won't ever be. I'm sad.

**September 26th, 2003. St. Mungo’s. Day 5438**

 

Hermione wasn’t sure when exactly she had fallen asleep, she just hoped it wasn’t during hers and Narcissa conversation, which would be extremely impolite. She looked at her bedside table, which now had a calendar on top of it and a note from Blaise.

>   
>  So you can keep up with the days.  
> 

It was Thursday, September 26th, as it was marked on the calendar in red. Under the September 22nd mark in green was written ‘last day you were up’, so she knew she had sleep for four days since her conversation with Narcissa.

Sighing, she tried to sit back on her back, only to hiss in pain and cough intensely, giving up on the idea, she reached the letters on her bedside table and read one by one. She had one from Caelum, in what could only be Narcissa's handwriting, where he told her he missed her, but was having a lot of fun and told detailed about the last couple of weeks and his shenanigans with Teddy.

Reading her boy’s letter made her happy and warm, knowing he was okay and safe. She knew it would be devastating for him if things didn’t end the way she hoped, but she also knew he would be okay eventually.

Blaise knocks on her door not to long after; she wonders if the healer had put a spell on her letting him know when she was awake because his timing is always perfect. 

“How are you doing on this fine morning?”

“I like your calendar. It’s useful.”

“It was Theo’s idea, he stopped by two days ago and mentioned how confusing it must be, so we came up with a system.”

“Thanks Blaise.”

“I’ve heard Narcissa paid you a visit,” he says and by the tone of his voice he isn’t pleased with the visit.

“You know why she came don’t you?” She asks, and he just nods, “I’m sure you advised her against.”

“Exactly. And knowing you, I have a feeling I know what was your answer. Which only makes me angrier, because apparently, Narcissa Malfoy knew exactly what you were going to say as well, that’s why she came. You can’t do that Granger, the spell might kill you.”

“Maybe it won’t.”

“You are so stubborn! Why are you doing this? One day you cry and beg me to not let you die and the other you are willing to become the Secret Keeper of the Malfoys knowing very well what might happen! Why do you care so little about your life when comparing to his?”

“I’ve spent years keeping their secrets, protecting them. Everything I did, since the day Caelum was born was to keep them safe. It’s just a matter of time till they go after them, I can’t let anything happen to them Blaise, and either way, and there’s still a fat chance of me not getting out of this alive.”

“I’ve been in the Love Chamber with Potter and Draco a couple of days ago, we broke several laws by entering there without authorization and we spent hours Hermione, hours studying the properties of love. We literally have love inside a jar. The things we learned were promising and we know what to do and how to do it. Draco already started you know, he only leaves his office to classes and shower, trying to brew it correctly as fast as he can. Potter is helping him, and Theo and Pansy as well. The four of them are working together to brew a potion to save you and you are here, trying to put to waste all their effort.”

“You started? He is helping?” Blaise nods both times, “since when Pansy knows? And Harry is helping? With them?” He nods again.

“Theo told her. She was here with him the other day, cried and insulted you the whole time. Be glad you were sleeping, she wasn’t saying nice things.”

“My Merlin…”

“Yeah, Potter is really confused Granger, you never told him about any of us.” Hermione feels bad for the hurt tone in Blaise’s voice.

“He never asked. He knew Caelum was Draco’s and that was enough surprise for him. He knew when I disappeared for a day it was because I was with Caelum, but he never asked how I did or where I went.”

“And you call him your best friend.” He says with an eyebrow raised.

“Don’t be like that. We all pretended it wasn’t happening. I couldn’t say their names at The Burrow, everyone ignored Caelum’s existence, Harry was the only one who asked me about him, who wanted to talk and know him. The less they knew the better.”

“So, you can imagine his face when a crying Pansy barged inside the office where he and Draco were working, demanding to help.”

“I have an idea, yeah.”

“Don’t do it Granger, don’t be the Secret Keeper. Too many people will miss you and they are all working on saving you.”

“Blaise, I don’t want to die. I really don’t want to. I’ve come in terms with the fact that it might happen but when it comes to it, I don’t really want to die, and if I wasn’t sure that becoming their Secret Keeper won’t kill me, I wouldn’t do it.”

“How can you be sure Granger?” He asks exasperated, “you can’t even stand properly! The Fidelius Charm is extremely difficult, and it uses a part of someone’s soul! Yours is already broken as it is!”

“I’m doing it.”

“Fuck Granger! What’s your bloody problem? We are trying to save you and you want to shit on everything for this? You will die and the secret—“ He stops mid-sentence and his eyes narrows at her, “that’s why you want to do it. Because if you die the secret will die with you. Fuck you Granger! Fuck you for wanting to sacrifice yourself for them!

‘I understand you love Draco and Caelum immensely, but your moronic friends can do something, can send them somewhere and keep them safe! You don’t need to die for the whole Malfoy clan! They don’t respect you at all and you are willing to do this? Even if you don’t die because of the spell, these people can come after you and make you reveal the secret! They did that to Marcus Flint just yesterday! Tortured the man till insanity so he would reveal his family’s location! He’s your bloody neighbor now! Is that what you want to happen to you?”

“What? The Flint’s were attacked?” She asks, scared. Marcus was in his sixth year when she arrived in Hogwarts and she remembers him being extremely mean to her during her second year. He was hateful yes, and his father were a lower rank Death Eater, but he was someone she knew, so it made these attacks real again.

“Yeah, Flint Senior is dead. His mother was found stupefied in the kitchen, which adds up to your point by the way, they are going after the Black’s blood only.”

“You know I have to keep them safe! No one would suspect me! And I’m not a target anyways, so there’s no reason for them to come after me! And just a few people know where I am!”

“Granger I can’t let you do this! And you bloody well know who else won’t let you do this! I bet Narcissa came here without him knowing!”

“I don’t need anyone to ‘let’ me do anything!”

“Hermione, please,” he begs, “don’t do anything reckless, don’t be a sodding Gryffindor.”

“I’ve decided Blaise.”

“So, you bloody well are going to do this on your own. You can’t walk two steps without help anymore, good luck getting to Wiltshire.” Saying that, he leaves her potion on her bed table and storms out of her room.

Hermione tries to sit on her bed again and ignoring the searing pain, gets up. With slow, pained strides, she walks to the drawer they kept a pair of clothes and her wand. 

It takes almost an hour for her to take out her hospital gown and put her jeans and a hoodie over her head. Tying the shoelaces of her boot takes another fifteen minutes, as she couldn’t stand being crouched for long. She avoided getting dressed using magic as she wanted to save energy and whatever spell she tried, as simple as it was, drained energy. She pocketed the potion Blaise left, knowing it would be better to drink it after the trip then now.

Sitting back on her bed, she takes deep breaths, the wand on her hand is vibrating and she missed the feel of it, the power it gave her, the sensation of fullness. 

Hermione picks the cloth and carefully opens it, it was a small, but beautiful, earring.

 

**September 26th, 2003. Malfoy Manor’s foyer. Day 5438**

 

She is back on her feet for a total of two seconds after arriving at the Manor when she starts to collapse.

“What in Merlin’s name—“ She hears Lucius’ voice and before hitting the ground a pair of arms holds her hesitantly. 

If she wasn’t trying so hard to remain conscious and with her eyes open, she would have laughed at the situation.

Lucius’ face is priceless, the man is now carrying her towards a recliner but at the same time trying to touch her to a minimum, his face is hard and his jaw set, Hermione isn't sure if the man is breathing at all.

“Don’t—Draco—He doesn’t know.” She breaths and his eyes widen in understanding.

“Narcissa!” He yells panicked as she becomes heavier and heavier, her legs aren’t cooperating, neither is everything else.

Not ten seconds later the Malfoy matriarch appears and gasps at the view, she scurries to help her husband and they both take Hermione’s to a spare room.

“What—“ The woman starts,

“What did you do? Draco is going to be bloody furious if she dies in here!” Lucius sneers and the woman shushes him.

“Will you keep it quiet! Caelum is in the other room!” She snarls, and both adults look at a door at the end of the corridor.

Hermione’s heart starts beating ridiculously fast at the knowledge of Caelum being so close.

But too soon she is unable to stare at the door any longer as they close the door behind them and put Hermione on the bed.

“My left pocket—potion.” She breathes, her eyelids heavy and her arms too weak to even move.

Narcissa nods ferociously and takes out the potion and unclasps it, giving it to Hermione, helping her drink it.

It takes a minute for it to work, slowly, she can feel her limbs again and inhaling doesn't feel like she was breathing through sand.

“Miss Granger, I—" The woman starts, her eyes wide and scared.

“It’s okay, I knew this was going to happen. I was prepared.” She says, trying to sound convincing.

“You are mad woman! He’s just down the hall! The wards must be enough Cissy, or we can find someone else! She’s in no condition to be—" He stops mid-sentence and Hermione looks at him trying to see what made him stop.

His eyes aren’t on her face, but on her neck, she consciously touches it and then feel her necklace over her shirt.

Oh.

“You are still wearing it.” He says and she hates how much he looks like Draco when the boy was rethinking everything he knew about her. 

She nods and holds it protectively, as the man had his eyes in slits and was breathing hard.

“Lucius,” Narcissa callS, and her tone is pleading.

“You deal with this.” He nods in Hermione’s direction, “I will pretend I haven’t seen her and have no idea what you are doing. If you kill the girl, you will deal with him by yourself. I will clean myself.” He says and leave the room.

Narcissa sighs and looks at her apologetically, “Wimpy!” She calls, and seconds later a small elf appeared in the room. Hermione recognizes her.

“Mistress called Wimpy?” The elf asks, and Hermione watches intrigued how the woman would treat the elf.

“I did. I need you to go to St. Mungo’s and bring as many potions like this one as you can carry, please Wimpy. And don’t let anyone sees you. And be back quickly too, if you can. Please.”

The elf nods enthusiastically, pocketing the potion vial in her dress. “Wimpy will Mistress, Wimpy will back in no time.”

“Thank you Wimpy, you may go,” she says and the elf Apparated. 

The two woman stared at each other for a while, not saying anything. Hermione looks around the room. It had a king bed, a drawer and a desk, everything in shades of grey. The bed she was in was comfortable and it had white silk sheets and fluffy pillows. As every other room in the Manor, it had high ceilings, or maybe, it was enchanted to look like that. 

She doesn’t know for how long she looked around and she jumped when she heard a Crack of Apparition. 

“Wimpy is back Mistress, Wimpy could find lots and lots, but Wimpy hands is small, if Mistress wants Wimpy can goes back to more.”

“Thank you so much Wimpy. There’s no need for you to return. You may go Wimpy.” Narcissa thanked the elf once more and she Disapparated.

“You treat her well.” Hermione blurts and Narcissa looks at her amused.

“Many years ago, Draco told me all about your organization and I realized you were right. During the summer of ’95 she started to have days off and to wear dresses. She refused to be paid.”

“He never told me that. That little—He made me think he had won that discussion when he--” Hermione stops at Narcissa's chuckles.

“Won?” She asks, amused.

“Yeah—Well, we argued a lot you see, and not always agreed with the other, but we developed a system. Instead of arguing for hours we decided to give points for whoever had the best argument. Theo and Blaise were the judges.” She explains, and the older woman laughed.

“I believe Theo and Blaise weren’t at all impartial.” Hermione nods frustrated, remembering the ridiculousness of some points given to Draco. “Anyway Miss Granger, the Fidelius Charm. I know you agreed to it, but you must be scared all the same. During the days waiting for you, I took it to study a bit more about the properties of the spell and I’ve found something that must certainly will work without being dangerous for you” 

Hermione looks impressed while the Malfoy matriarch talked. She was going to cast the spell after enhancing all properties of her necklace. As it was an heirloom of the Malfoys and the spell was going to be cast to protect the Malfoy Manor, she would then channel her necklace to the spell and the house itself. 

The two women left the room and walked to the heart of the house, not before casting a silencing spell on Caelum's room. 

Hermione stood in the middle of the drawing room, shaking a bit, as the memories of the day she writhed on the floor not two feet away from where she stood, with Draco standing by the fireplace, thinner than ever and white as sheet, Bellatrix torturing her, the Cruciatus, all the blood coming from her uterus, Caelum and—

Narcissa notices her discomfort and the tears pooling on the girl’s eyes and casts a calming spell on her.

When Narcissa started to utter the spell, Hermione couldn’t understand a word she was singing, as it was in Latin. She knew it was an ancient spell and had her doubts if it had its roots in Dark Magic. 

Then she started to feel it: courage, running through her veins, like a wild beast, the kind of courage she only felt snippets of during her years in Gryffindor, but was now back in full force; her strength, Merlin, she cried when she could move her arms over her head and laughing, twirled; her skin wasn’t pale anymore, sickened, it was golden like always, bathed by the sun and she knew it was her vitality, her health being revitalized from the stone. She felt complete and like she belonged, she could hear the Malfoy’s peacock quirking on the garden, Draco’s eagle owl, now old, snoring in the owlery, she felt full of life, she felt safe, invincible. 

Hermione gasped when she could hear Caelum's laugh many rooms from them, her eyes widened, she knew she was smiling ridiculously, the smile Draco hated, but she knew he loved deep down. She could feel him so close and never, no once tangled in sheets and in his skin, she felt he was hers like she was feeling now. 

She felt the Fidelius Charm working on her, attaching itself on a part of her soul, she felt the house recognizing her and then the magic expanding from her core to every mile of land around her, every room and every floor, the garden and the pond and every living person inside.

“It’s done.” Narcissa says and Hermione feels the magic leaving, _no_ , she thinks, _come back, and make me whole again._

Her weakness returned, and her legs started to tremble, she knew it wasn’t because of the spell, but because of the emptiness inside of her. “Give me a potion.” She asked, hands trembling.

Narcissa nods and hands Hermione the potion, helping her drink it all. Hermione is finally firm on her feet when the two women hear the crack of the fireplace and Draco’s voice.

“WHAT WAS THAT?” And by the sound of his voice, he seemed to be panting, “MOTHER! WHAT DID YOU DO?”

Hermione panicked, “Please, take me back! I can’t—he can’t! Not in here! Please Mrs. Malfoy, not in here!” Unconsciously her hand went to her belly, where once carried her babies, where once she was beaten, tortured and bleed on this floor.

“Miss Granger, I don’t understand.” Narcissa says and she really looked confused.

“I can’t see him in this room!” She cries desperately, “he doesn’t know what—please Mrs. Malfoy, take me back to St. Mungos.” Narcissa nodded but the older woman still seemed to be utterly confused and handed her a portkey back to the hospital.

“I will have Blaise know where to find you immediately.” She says and Hermione feels her insides being pulled to the earth the exact moment Draco’s voice got higher.

 

**October 1st, 2003. St. Mungos. Day 5443.**

“Cheers Granger, I thought we were friends.” She hears Pansy’s unmistakably voice and smiles fully, after opening her eyes.

“Pansy!” She greets with a wide smile and the dark-brown haired girl rolls her green eyes at Hermione and she never thought she would think she’d miss Parkinson.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s not be fake, shall we? You’ve been keeping this from me for ages and I’m only here because it’s does make me feel better about myself seeing you in a hospital gown.” She says but her usual snare is missing from her voice and her eyes are greener because of tears.

“I’m sorry I didn’t told you. You quite never shook your nag for gossip and I didn’t want him to know.” Hermione tries to explain but Pansy’s eyes harden at her, narrowing her lids even more.

“It was wrong of you keeping this from Draco.” She says and Hermione smiles, good to know Pansy still was loyal to no end to him, “he had a right to know, he was nothing but devoted to your love for all these years and—“

“I know Pans, I was scared.” She sighs, “I still am. I didn’t know how to tell him, and I still don’t know what to say now.”

“So that’s why you ran away from him the other day at the Manor?” She asks in an accusatory tone.

“I just couldn’t have this conversation with him in that place. I lost too much in that room, I didn’t want to lose anything else.”

“What do you think he was going to do Granger? That spell his mother did affected him you know? Enhancing the gems power? He got hard out of nowhere and let me tell you how uncomfortable was to watch that… But anyways, the only thing he’d do was hold you in his arms and probably never let go again.”

“You all keep saying that. You, Blaise and Narcissa but—”

“Granger.” The former Slytherin warns, “I didn’t stop hating you for you to doubt Draco.”

“I’m not doubting him. It’s just--”

“Narcissa told me you freaked out at the Manor, what’s going on Granger?”

“My illness isn’t the only thing I kept from him and I’m afraid the next time I see him is when I need to tell him.”

“What?” Pansy asks and Hermione’s eyes fill with tears.

“Pans… I—I never told—Only one person knows and the others who knew agreed to have their memories erased, I—”

“Granger, look at you love, a secret this big is destroying you.”

Hermione takes a deep breath, trying to calm down, but it was in vain, the tears wouldn’t stop rolling and the pain in her heart was too strong. She refused to think about it for too long, to dream and wonder, as it always left her in pieces, but now she realized the real reason why it hurt that much was because she never let herself grieve, to feel the pain and the lost.

“Caelum wasn’t supposed to be an only child.”

 

**October 20th, 1995. Professor Merrythought Office. Day 347**

“So, Practical Training of Impediment Jinxes and How To Cast Stunning Spells Effectively?” Draco asks with an eyebrow raised and a smirk and she quickly snaps the book from his hands.

“I’m just reading, you know how those Ministry approved books are bullshit.” She replies, but not looking at him in the eye. 

He is sitting in the same sofa as her, his legs sprawled, and he is occupying too much space that it was making her anxious. She can't move an inch without bumping into a part of him.

“Of course. I’m sure they don’t have anything to do with ‘Protean Charm: how to link objects correctly’ and ‘The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts’ chapter twelve, ‘The Dark Mark and how it worked’?” He asks, laughter in his voice as he picks two other books, “or better yet, with the coin burning up in your pocket, right?” He asks and she jumps when she notices, quickly picking it up and hiding it from view. Draco only laughs.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” She is burning red now and embarrassed to have been caught and wondering if she was going have SNEAK written in her head, but then, the bastard had figured it out by himself!

“Please, you don’t think I am stupid, do you?”

“Of course you are, stupid, nosy and incredible annoying.” He grins and flashes her the most annoying smirk known to mankind. 

“Stupid, nosy and incredible annoying? That’s a new record, don’t you think?”

“It’s not my fault you are being extremely unpleasant today.” She snaps, and he stretches his left leg, his sock cladded feet touching her knee. Hermione looks at where their bodies touch and then back at Draco, narrowing her eyes at him, he only smirks. The bastard is doing it on purpose.

“I only asked a simple question Granger, you are the one who became all defensive.”

“I’m not defensive.” She retorts, he merely raises an eyebrow at her, she sighs.

He chuckles and decides to leave at that, and without retracting his feet, returns to his own lecture, Pride And Prejudice. Hermione was feeling really bold when she gave him the book. Draco stared at her hard and she blushed without him saying a word. 

Draco read the cover and after a hum, decided to start reading, he had yet to make a comment about it. Hermione would blush every time she remembered why she decided to give the book to him. 

Mr Darcy was proud, unpleasant, selfish, arrogant and everything that Draco is, and Elizabeth learned to like him, to love him, and Hermione wanted him to know that she had, as well, learned to like him and was growing to have feelings for him.

“How did you know what they were?” She asks, after minutes of silence. The D.A. had had only two meetings and they made sure to be extremely cautious, not to mention the coins, which she was still finishing with the spells as she still had some difficulties making them work on 28 coins, but she was intended on making them work before the third meeting next Thursday.

“What?”

“You know what.”

“Granger, I am becoming very good at Occlumency, but I have yet to learn Legillimency, so you will have to tell me.”

“About the coin, the books.” She vowed to keep the information about Occlumency for later.

“You shouldn’t have thought me the Disillusionment Spell last year.”

“You’ve been stalking me!” She protests, he rolls his eyes.

“You must know there’s only an amount of time I can spend watching you with your head buried in your books.” She blushes instantly and looks away, trying to keep down a smile. Draco seems unaware of what he had said or the meaning behind it. “I simply stumbled into a group of Hufflepuff that haven’t yet mastered the idea of whispering and after hearing your name and secret meetings in the same sentence, it didn’t take me long to find out about the rest of it.”

“And the coins?” She asks suspiciously.

“You’ve been reading weird books as of lately, it really intrigued me when I saw you reading books about the Dark Arts and I’ve seen you around with dozens of the same objects around, so or you had developed a weird hobby, or you were doing something incredibly fishy. Given your friends and your knack for trouble, I went with the latter.”

She watched open mouthed at the casual, almost flippant way he explained. Or Draco had mastered the ‘I don’t care about anything’ pose or he really didn’t realize how clever he was.

“Will you tell her?” She asks, not wanting to inflate his ego any more or they wouldn’t fit in this office any longer if she complimented him.

“Granger, I detest the woman. She’s terrible and even though I found hilarious hers and Potter discussion every class and I cackled the other day at her inspecting Potions… She’s completely mad, she tortures students and she’s worse than no-professor.”

“So why? I mean, why be her teacher’s pet? Go along with her ridiculous inspections and telling off Hagrid? And it’s not like she wouldn’t love to know what we are up to!”

“I have my reasons Granger and as much as I’d love to see Potter finally getting in trouble for something in this school, I won’t tell.”

She studies him, processes everything he said, his opinions on Umbridge, he yet again proving to be extremely intelligent and having everything to gain if he tells on them but still deciding against it.

He probably is thinking she had lost her mind, because suddenly realization came to her and she started grinning madly at him.

“What? You know I think you look like mad when you do that.”

“You won’t tell her because I’m part of it and you don’t want me getting in trouble.” She says a little too full of herself and still wearing the biggest smile on her face.

“That’s it. You finally lost it.”

“You are a loyal little snake Draco Malfoy.”

“And your hair finally ate all that was left in your brain.”

“You really like me after all.”

“I’m leaving now Granger.” He says, and starts to get up, which only makes her laugh.

“Does that mean I—"

“Goodbye Granger!”

“See you at dinner!” She says in between laughter as the boy leave the room and closes the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment to make the author happy!  
> Updates will be on Fridays.


	12. Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with another one!  
> thank you again for all the support you guys have been giving to this story!! I love reading your comments and I'm trying to reply to all of them in the best I can.
> 
> Again, the Harry Potter world does no belong to me. I don't own any of it.

**October 23th, 1995. Great Hall. Day 350**

“What’s wrong Mione?” Harry asks worriedly, and the girl takes her eyes off the Slytherin table, “is Malfoy giving you trouble? Just tell me and I will gladly make an effort to kick his ass at Quidditch this weekend.” He asks again, following Hermione’s eyes to their table.

“It’s okay. He’s not giving me trouble Harry, I was just thinking and didn’t realize I was looking at their table.” She says dismissively and goes back to her breakfast. 

“You were staring at ‘em for minutes.” Ron says with his mouth full of food, she gave up telling him to stop doing that in their second year.

“Is everything right for the next meeting?” She asks, changing the subject.

Since her newfound friendship with Draco and now confusing feelings, the only thing that bothered her nonstop was not being able to talk to her best friends about it. She couldn’t even think of how to begin explaining to them that she and Draco were friends. There was the thing about him being a git to them since Harry and Ron step foot at Hogwarts, the mudblood incidents, the Buckbeak thing and just last year at the maze where Draco’s father was very much there. Hermione knew they wouldn’t understand. Even Ginny, Hermione thought once, wouldn’t understand. Draco’s father had put a possessed book in her cauldron on her first year and the boy kept throwing insults at her family at every given chance.

She just couldn’t argue he had changed, because he hadn’t. He was still the same boy, arrogant, bully and extremely evil; he just wasn’t that towards her anymore. Hermione couldn’t ask them to understand when she couldn’t.

But now, what was bothering her more than her secrets were Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott staring at her nonstop. They were just there, staring, making hushed comments with no inkling of being mean. The two Slytherins were literally talking about her and she had no clue what about.

They couldn’t know right? There was no way Draco would have told Zabini and Nott that they are friends. She was a muggle-born and they were Slytherins and part of Draco’s cronies who were always laughing when he made his daily insults at muggles and muggle-borns. He wouldn’t.

 

**October 23th, 1995. Ancient Runes Classroom. Day 350**

 

The Ancient Runes professor gave the handful number of students a simple text for them to translate, the majority of her classmates were cheating because they knew the original text, as it was some children’s book and Hermione, being raised in a muggle background had no idea about Clyzran the Centaur and Anahita the mermaid, which apparently, were very famous in British wizarding houses.

She had two books opened on her table, the Runic Dictionary and Ancient Runes Made Easy when someone sat next to her and pulled her dictionary away from her.

“Hey! That’s mine!” She complained before even looking at the person and when she took sight of the green robes next to her, she immediately knew who it was.

There was only one Slytherin taking Ancient Runes.

“So, you and Draco huh?” Blaise asks, and he has an easy smile on his face, his beautiful, smothering face. Hermione is taken aback with the dark skinned boy; she never really gave Zabini any attention, he was one of the many Slytherins with nothing good to say to her.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” She replies a little late, too caught up on the boy that had yet to take the smile of his face.

“Well Granger, that’s just not true at all and we both know that.” He says and without a care in the world, opened his parchment and resumed their lesson, using her dictionary. Hermione was left staring.

It turns out Draco would tell his friends about her.

Hermione is speechless. Draco Malfoy, Slytherin prince and school prejudiced bully had told them about befriending a muggle-born.

“Suppose I do know, what are you doing here?” She asks with narrowed eyes, she couldn’t think a good outcome for this.

“Granger, difficult times lies ahead of us and before my dear mother decides to make Quentin Nott husband number eight, I need to take some things into consideration.”

“I still fail to understand why you are here Zabini.”

“Well see, I’m sure our Savior All-that-is-good Harry Potter must have told you who’s best buddies with the Dark Lord,” Hermione cringes at the name, “and unfortunately Prospect Husband Number Eight is one of them, so try to follow me in here Granger, if marriage number eight happens, some things will be expected from me—"

“You can’t be serious!” She hisses, “You can’t be talking about this as if you are deciding what shoes to wear!”

“It did take me half an hour to decide if today I was going with my basic Bruno Magli oxford or this Giuseppe Zanotti beauty,” he muses and Hermione almost gasps perplexed at the words basic and Bruno Magli together and widens her eyes when he shows her his shoes.

“Is that glitter?” She blurts and Zabini snorts. He is probably the only person in the world who could snort and still be attractive doing so. “Whatever,” she continues, unsure if it is to him or to her inability to take her mind out of the gutter, “you can’t say this stuff like that!”

“It’s politics Granger, and please do keep your voice low, there are people trying to learn in here… But anyway, the Zabinis have been neutral all their lives and even though the idea of having Theo as a brother is really nice, I don’t really fancy having Death Eater in my curriculum and that brings us the reason why I’m here.” Hermione’s eyes widen and she looks around to see if anyone had heard him. She can’t believe this boy.

“You don’t strike me as someone who wouldn’t be eager to join Voldemort’s cause.” She says with a sneer.

“And why is that? Let me guess, because I’m a Slytherin, I am evil and want to see the death of thousands of innocent people? Or because I’m a pureblood, Salazar forbids me to not embrace blood superiority. Maybe it’s both, right? Let’s add extremely wealthy and friends with sons of death Eaters and you shall have the perfect definition of one.” He replies angrily, but it isn’t his tone that scares her, it's his ability to maintain a perfect smile.

“You haven’t acted differently.” She retorts stubbornly.

“Would it have changed your opinion?” He challenges and something on her face shows her answer because he scoffs and continued, “it wouldn’t. I could be kissing muggle-born ass all the time, but you would still see me just the same. You are just every little bit of prejudiced as I am.”

“I am not!”

“No? Or you don’t walk around with your head high as if someone stuck a stick up your ass? Don’t you scoff at the mere sight of green robes and deem us stupid and evil? Don’t you narrow your eyes at every kid who’s sorted into Slytherin? Labelling them automatically evil? Isn’t that prejudice?”

“That isn’t the same thing!” She blubbers, nervously and a bit red in the face, “it’s not even close!”

“Why? It’s because your side isn’t killing for what they believe? Sometimes neglect is even worse than outwards hatred, I bet it’s written somewhere on the bible Granger. Don’t be too quick to judge, you might end up with your foot in your mouth.”

“That doesn’t mean you are right though.” She argues, vaguely embarrassed but too proud to admit an error.

Zabini tsks at her, actually tsks at her and smiles at her like she is mentally impaired, “I never said I was, I was simply pointing that you are as well.”

That shut her up and if she could, she would have stomped from there immediately, but as she was still in class and hadn’t finished her work, she huffs, trying – desperately – to have the final word.

Zabini snorts, obviously amused.

“I’m dying to know if you put Draco to such scrutiny before deciding he was worth your time. Tell me Granger, did it fried that big brain of yours to find a loophole in your beliefs to accept he isn’t as bad as he seems?”

“Shut up.” She snaps, blushing, and he full on laughs, attracting attention to their classmates and Professor Babbling, who is now glaring at them.

“Draco’s right, you are adorable when you are bitchy, but don’t worry, he’s just as much smitten with you.” Hermione chokes on air and the left side of his lip tugs upwards creating a smirk that, in his sharp and Godlike features has her catching her breath in her throat.

She doesn’t reply to that, instead focuses on her translation for the remaining of the class.

Hermione is almost out of the door when Zabini calls for her again.

“I’ve decided that I like you Granger.” And then he leaves, leaving her to the most awkward day so far in her Hogwarts years and without knowing why exactly Zabini had decided to talk to her in the first place.

 

**October 25th, 1995. Defense Against the Dark Arts Classroom. Day 352**

Umbridge is reading word for word the third to last chapter of Basics for Beginners, and occasionally choosing students to pick up the reading for the class if she thought they weren’t paying attention. Poor Harry was reading for the third time now, but Hermione was sure Umbridge was choosing Harry every time the boy as much looked to his side.

Hermione subtly opened her Potions parchment, Snape had asked them to write about the properties of the Moonstone this morning and between long essays, charms, transfigurations, and D.A meetings this week she had little time left and since Defense Against the Dark Arts had become a waste of her time, she was going to use it for something else.

She was halfway done when she heard Draco’s voice and before she could look at him, her parchment was taken away from her and Umbridge was simpering at her, her eyes twinkling dangerously.

“Hem-hem. Not paying attention to the reading again Miss Granger? And doing another teacher homework in my class?” She asks, and Hermione has to make an effort to not flinch at her high-pitched voice.

“I’m sorry Professor Umbridge.” Hermione replies in a small voice, not wanting to irritate the woman more than she already was.

“Not only you are an insolent little girl, you are also disrespectful,” Hermione opens her mouth to argue both words were synonymous but decided against, “I’m sure Severus wouldn’t like to know his students are doing his homework in other teachers class.” She continues and then starts to rip her parchment in half.

“No! You co—“ 

“Hem-hem.” Umbridge gives yet another throat-clearing cough and Hermione corners at the hawklike look Umbridge gives her. “He’d agree with me that this is strictly necessary.” She finishes and rips her parchment in a smaller part, before burning them to flames and letting small, burned pieces fall in Hermione’s desk.

“You absolutely plonker toad.” Hermione mutters but not low enough because Umbridge screeches a row of insults and her face is as pink as her stupid office.

“My office every day for the rest of the week!” She shrieks, “You, little miss, can forget about dinner this week because you will wash that awful mouth of yours, undoubtedly product of your muggle upbringing.” 

The Slytherins snicker and Harry and Ron explode with insults, defending her, she even hears Neville swears once or twice, before Umbridge cast a Sonorus.

Hermione glares at Umbridge for the remaining of the class, thinking of ways to make her pay, clearly such comment from a professor couldn’t be accepted, she could tell Professor McGonagall. Hermione isn’t even a little embarrassed she had offended her D.A.D.A teacher again, she despised that woman with a force she hadn’t experienced before.

 

**October 25th, 1995. Rounds. Day 352**

“I tried to warn you when I saw her coming.” Draco says apologetically, it was the first word they said to each other since they started their rounds, this time they had to patrol the fifth and sixth floor.

“It’s okay,” she says, her voice croaking, Umbridge wasn’t lying when she said she was going to wash her mouth, “I really shouldn’t have insulted her.”

“But keep you from dinner and have you endure medieval torture isn’t right either,” he says and Hermione knows the boy is angry. “I thought in bringing you food, but it would be cold, we can stop in the kitchens for food after.” He offers with a shrug and Hermione smiles softly at him, knowing the faint light coming from their wands is enough for him to notice the blush on her cheeks.

“Thank you, I appreciate it.”

“Granger, you know you will be in trouble if she catches you and your friends, right?”

“I know. We are careful and thank Zabini for letting me know she was coming the other day.” 

“He’s still bitter he wasn’t invited.” Draco chuckles and Hermione snorts.

“He made sure I knew today at Ancient Runes.” She had another earful about prejudice towards the Slytherins today, “I tried to apologize.”

“Don’t bother, we stole your idea,” he says with a smirk and wiggled his eyebrows at her, she merely rolled her eyes, “but we call ourselves Salazar Apprentices, I find it much better than yours.”

“You don’t even know the name of my organization!”

“Yours? I knew the idea didn’t come from Potter or any Ravenclaws.” He says amused and she shoves him lightly with her shoulder.

“I just gave the idea really, it’s Harry who’s teaching us.”

“Potter is teaching? Merlin, what are you learning? What possibly can that boy know enough to teach?”

“Remember when he beat you in second year on that duel?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I remember no such thing. What I do remember is he talking to that snake and terrifying half of the school.”

“Harry won the Triwizard Tournament.”

“How did that end up for him?” He asks sarcastically and Hermione sighs, he had a point.

“Ok. But he does know stuff. And how about your organization? Who’s teaching the Salazar Apprentices?” She asks amused and he grins proudly at her, “You?” She is skeptical.

“You do know the only reason you are the top student of our year because you are the Gryffindor princess, right?” Draco muses and if she hadn’t seen the mischievous grin on his lips, she would be offended.

“I hate you,” she mutters, and even the portraits knew it was a lie.

Draco only smiles wider, “I know.”

 

**October 25th, 1995. Hogwarts Kitchen. Day 352**

“Miss Hermione!” Dobby squealed when the elf saw her entering, Draco right behind her, looking warily around. Draco was the one to give the idea, but Hermione doubts he has come to the kitchens before. “And Master—no, Dobby is free now sir—but Dobby is happy to see you sir!” The elf greets Draco, but the boy simply stares at the dozens of gloves and hats that the elf is wearing.

“Dobby, I’m sorry to bother you this late, but I missed dinner and—”

“Of course, Miss! Dobby will bring Miss a plate! Does Draco Malfoy wants something as well?”

“I’ve already eaten Dobby, thank you.” Draco says and gives Hermione a pointed look, she rolls her eyes again, “but if there’s some of Blancmange left, I’d appreciate it.” Draco asks politely, and Hermione feels something grows inside of her.

“Dobby will be right back!” The elf says and disappears somewhere.

“How’s your hand Granger?” Draco asks after sitting down in what is supposed to be the Ravenclaw table. They are already eating; she winces every time she has to move her hand too much.

“It’s bearable.” Hermione shrugs, lying. “She made me write ‘I must be respectful’ two-hundred times, a little more and I think it would be carved for good.”

“I could tell my father she made me or one of my friends do it and pray to have her removed.”

“You father knows she wouldn’t dream in making you do such thing and anyways, it wasn’t worse than the first time, that thing she made me drink, that was—”

“What?” Draco bellows and his grey eyes darken in anger and Hermione is scared. 

Sometimes Draco would change in front of her, like a switch, and he’d be more mean or rude, sometimes he switched to an anger and rage that threatened to consume him but, sometimes, occasionally really, he’d switch to kind and even caring. She thinks it’s fascinating to see it happens, the struggles within him, the Draco she knows and Draco Malfoy, clashing terribly inside one person. He fascinates her like a new unread book, filled with pages of discoveries and information, but even more, because Draco feels like the first book she ever read on her own, for the first time. With words she didn’t know and letters that were still difficult, Draco feels like learning and growing, and knowledge always intrigued her.

“Did she scramble your brains too?” Draco snarls, “because you look like someone who had their brains pulled out of their noses!”

Hermione realizes she had spent too long just staring at him, thinking.

“She said she was cleaning my foul mouth… It tasted like soap and is making my throat dry and sore—”

“What’s wrong with you?” Draco rages, “How could you let her do it? Why didn’t you refuse?”

“I did! I sat there for minutes refusing to hold that barbaric quill but she kept hinting she knew what we were up to! She said she was going to get us expelled and mentioned to give me Veritasserum, but Professor Snape was dinning, and she was planning on getting inside my head! I had to do it! I couldn’t let the others be in trouble because of me!” Hermione replies exasperated, “and you know nothing gives more pleasure to that cow than torture, so she stopped and just watched.”

“Granger, you can’t let her torture you like that!” Draco argued, completely ignoring what she said, “and you can’t let her inside your mind, she wouldn’t do it gently!”

It is safe to say, Hermione is tired of him getting angry at her and yelling when she isn’t at fault.

“What am I supposed to do?” Hermione asks, at loss.

“I’m going to think of something.” 

“Draco—“

“And I’m going to teach you Occlumency.”

“What?” Hermione asks dumbfounded. “How?”

“I have some books at home, I can owl Mother to send me and we can study together.” Draco offers and it take a while for Hermione fully process what he is saying before she is smiling at the prospect of learning.

“I’d love that! I’ve always wanted to learn and find very unfortunate the lack of teaching this art in Hogwarts, did you know they teach Occlumency and Leggilimens at Durmstrang?” Hermione asks excitedly and Draco smiles softly at her, a smile she barely sees in him, a smile she has learned it was meant for her and her only.

For a split second, she thinks about the word love and wonders if this is love. The giddiness, the blushing and counting the minutes to see him, the sensation of completeness when it’s just them, doing nothing especial. Is this love? Is she developing feelings deeper than what she thought?

Draco is still smiling that earth-shattering smile of his and Hermione blushes. “What?” She asks after realizing she is about to blurt something inappropriate.

“Nothing.” Draco admits, “I always knew you were a swot, I just never thought I’d find it endearing.” Draco confesses, and Hermione thinks about hiding her face under the table.

Draco clearly has the same idea because his face, even if for a split second, fails to be perfectly composed. It is the first time she can see a glimpse of embarrassment on him.

“I—yeah, I just remembered—right, I’ve got to go! See you tomorrow.” Draco rushes and before Hermione can process anything, the boy is gone.

 

**October 27th, 1995. Courtyard. Day 354**

“How’s rounds with that git?” Ron asks.

They were sitting by two columns, their bags sprawled in the grass in front of them in the Courtyard. Harry was creating last time predictions for Trelawney’s homework and Ron was complaining about how terrible rounds were even though he was paired with Hannah. 

She ponders her choices, she could say it is terrible and have the boys at Draco for minutes, or she could say it wasn’t that bad and have them at her for minutes.

“Dreadful.” Hermione mutters, “he’s a prat.” W.ell, that isn’t a complete lie.

As expected, the two boys start to give her lists of things to do or say if he annoys her too much, Harry even offers to go do rounds with her in the Invisibility Cloak and scare the git.

“Well, that’s just brilliant!” Draco’s voice sings from behind them and Hermione decides to stay out of it, she is placating too many quarrels and Draco deserves a hex or two on his way. “My fans talking about me! What were you saying just now Weasel, something about my money? I wonder how you know what it is, things considering…”

“Shut up Malfoy!” Ron sneers, getting to his feet, wand already in hand, Harry quickly follows.

“Will your mouth ever stop blabbering shit Malfoy?” Harry sneers; Hermione turns a page on her book.

“Defending the riffraff that took you in? Always so noble Potter.” Draco says sarcastically, leading his hand to his heart in mock awe.

“Just go away.”

“Why? Am I keeping you from the unwavering attention you seek? Are we set for any other display of pathetic-ness where you feel pain in your scar?” Draco mocks and his friends guffaw with laughter.

“God, how annoying.” Hermione mutters and Draco turns his attention to her, she raises an eyebrow at him and Draco grins exaggeratedly at her, making a show of noticing her.

“Oh! I hadn’t seen you! You know, with the bushes around and no green left this time of year” Draco says and waits a beat for the laughter of his friends, who promptly complies.

“Don’t insult her, you little piece of shit!” Ron calls and she sees Draco’s face change from bicker to angry in seconds.

“And who do you think you are to insult me? Or to decide I can’t insult her?” Draco asks viciously, his wand now pointed as well. 

Hermione doesn’t see who throws the first hex, but soon enough Crabbe and Goyle are stunned and the other three are firing at each other.

“For the love of God!” Hermione intervenes and blocks a Stinging Hex from catching Draco. “Would you two stop?”

“Are you defending him?” Ron asks bewildered, his mouth agape. Hermione has her back to Draco, but she knows the bastard is smirking.

“I’m trying to save your ass!” Hermione shrieks. “Don’t you two have somewhere to be? Quidditch to practice?” She asks, and then lowers her voice, “go away before he remembers to tell Umbridge.”

Both boys grab their stuff, look between Hermione and Draco, the latter with too much heat and before Ron can open his mouth again, she urges them away and scowls at the students watching them.

Hermione turns to face Draco and the corner of his mouth is turned up in a slow, condescending smile. Hermione wants to smack it off his face.

“Rennevarte!” She says, pointing her wand at Crabbe and Goyle, who stirs feebly. 

Hermione walks away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates on Fridays. Comments make my day better so please, let me know what you think of this one.
> 
> come find me on twitter at singuIarritae.


	13. Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! here comes another one!
> 
> thanks again for all the incredible support you guys are giving this fic! I have the time of my life reading the comments.
> 
> again, the Harry Potter character belong to jkr and to Warner bros

**October 28th, 1995. Sixth Floor’ Hidden Alcove. Day 355**

This is embarrassing. Stop.

Hermione keeps repeating the words again and again, but she just can’t stop crying. Tonight was the second to last night of detention with Umbridge and not only she was famished, she had blood dripping from the back of her hand, coming from the words ‘I must be respectful’ carved in deeply. Hermione can’t open or close her hand properly, as it is throbbing with pain, her skin raw. Not to mention her throat, that after days of being forced to drink that horrific drink is like sand paper and so tight that she doubts a trickle of water would pass.

She is still sobbing quietly when she hears footsteps approaching.

Stop crying!

Too late, she thinks, as the steps stops, and she knows, however is on the other side of the tapestry, knows she is in there.

“Granger?” The owner of the steps asks, and Hermione quickly tries to dry her tears when she recognizes Draco’s voice, but in the haste, she used her sore hand and cried louder yet with pain. “What the hell!” Draco exclaims after pushing the tapestry away, his eyes wide and his skin even paler than usual, at the sight of her.

“Leave, please.” Hermione sobs and curses the hiccup that follows. She knows her face is smeared with blood now and that she must be a sight.

Draco doesn’t respond but doesn’t move either. His eyes are fixated on her hand; he can’t stop looking with his wide, shocked eyes. Hermione watches as his expressions changes from shock, to bewilderment, and then confusion and doubt, to anger. 

Draco’s eyes darken considerably at this, his fists clench, his knuckles whiten, and his jaw is set. He looks angry with her. And it makes her snap.

“What?” Hermione explodes. Draco seems to get out of his reverie and his eyes travels to her face, where they soften at the sides and Hermione thinks she is looking at a kid, “what?” She asks again, much calmer.

“Your blood,” Draco mumbles in a haze.

“What’s with it?” Hermione is confused, not understanding what is making him react so strongly.

“It’s red,” Draco answers in a whisper, like it is a secret.

“Of course it’s red, why wouldn’t—Oh” realization dawns on her.

Mudblood.

“Yeah.” Draco chuckles bitterly and Hermione notices he’s getting mad again.

Hermione doesn’t reply to that. Draco keeps staring and she lets him. Draco is probably having his moment of realization and God only knows how she doesn’t want to ruin that.

They stay like that for a while, Draco ends up entering the alcove and sitting in the floor beside her, but he is still quiet. Hermione wants nothing more than to know what he is thinking, know what is going on in his head.

How long she waits, Hermione doesn’t know, could have been minutes or even hours before Draco finally says something.

“All my life, I’ve known only one thing,” Draco starts and tentatively pulls her wrist towards him, “I’ve grown believing muggle-born were less than pure-bloods, or any wizard for that matter, I learned that muggle-borns stole their magic from wizards and that’s why there’s squibs and that’s why muggle-born have dirty blood, because it’s stolen from other wizards. I learned they were less than me because they didn’t have centuries of magical history and how could they belong here then? 

‘I learned that because their magic is stolen, they aren’t worthy of magic and can’t never be as powerful as a true wizard or witch, I learned they are dangerous. I spent the first eleven years of my life exclusively in the presence of purebloods and only those who shared the same beliefs. This is all I know Granger,” Draco whispers, his thumb circling her wrist, “is all I am. The idea of you being less than me, unworthy than me, is all I have.

‘The things I believe were given to me as truth, as The Word you know? Everything I know came from Father, my father, who raised me and who loves me. Same with Mother, she taught me a lot of things and who I am to ever doubt my parents? The ones who brought me to life, who raised me? How can I contest what’s been taught to me when for Slytherins, family is above all?

‘And I’ve seen, countless times what happens to the ones who disrespect the family, the ones who think differently, so I learned to not ask questions, to not doubt Father, to make him proud. So, I copied him in everything, and it used to be easy, so easy Granger, it was natural, but then it wasn’t easy anymore, it wasn’t natural, but became who I am.

‘You were the first muggle-born whom I ever met, and I remember being angry when I found out what you are. I felt betrayed, played, because I talked to you on the train, you were vomiting information from Hogwarts: A History and we talked, and I liked you, but then you turned out to be muggle-born and I hated you for fooling me and I hated you even more along the years.

‘For every single thing I believed, you were there to prove it wrong. You were always proving me wrong and I hated, I hated it. You proved me wrong in everything, so I had to hold on to the only thing I knew you couldn’t.” Draco explains and follows one line of dripping blood tentatively.

“But it’s red.” Hermione finishes for him; Draco nods.

“It’s red.”

“I’m sorry,” she says.

“For what?” Draco scoffs.

“For not being true what you believe in.” Hermione explains and with her good hand, holds the one holding her wrist.

 _“Scourgify!”_ Draco says, pointing his wand at her, “sorry for not doing it sooner.”

“It’s okay, I tried casting with my other hand, but I couldn’t.”

“This is going to scar,” Draco notes, and moves the hand on her wrist to her palm, “can I try something?” He asks, holding her palm.

“What?” Hermione asks, ignoring the heat coming from their touching hands.

“A spell Mother taught me.” Draco explains and places his other hand carefully on top of hers, holding her hand with his two and closed his eyes, _“Ut adducam cura, ego adducam curatio, ad sanitatem et ego”_

“It’s wandless magic!” Hermione gasps at the faint light that is coming from his both hands and Draco opens just one eye and grins cheekily at her. She thinks he is beautiful.

 _“Ut adducam cura, ego adducam curatio, ad sanitatem et ego.”_ Draco repeats, the faint light growing stronger and her hand is tickling lightly, and she isn’t sure if the warmth she is feeling is coming from the spell or from Draco.

Draco says the words a few more times, the light not growing brighter than the enough to lighten their joined hands, and then stops and they watch the light fade.

“Only a Healer can make the scar disappear completely, but it’s way smaller now and won’t bleed again.”

“Thank you, Draco.” Hermione says, amazed at his work, what once was the words ‘I must be respectful’ now it seems like cat scratches. “How did you learn it?”

“Mother is fan of wandless magic and I was a fan of getting bruises when I was little, she taught me this summer. I only ever managed small cuts, this is a first.”

“Well, tell her I appreciate it.” Hermione says and her smile drops at the look on his face.

“I can’t really tell her what I just did, can I?” Draco asks bitterly and sighs.

Hermione rearranges herself and moves to sit with her back at the wall of the alcove and her legs stretched out in front of her; her feet still good inches from the tapestry. She pats the floor next to her and Draco moves to sit next to her, his feet almost touches the tapestry.

“Nox!” Hermione says and the light coming from her wand that was illuminating the alcove goes out, leaving them in complete darkness. “Ugh, I should have grabbed it first” she mutters, realizing she will have to fumble around to find later.

“Is now when you attack me?” His voice comes from her right, she chuckles.

“Are you okay?” Hermione asks worriedly, and she knows Draco knows what she is talking about by the change on her tone.

“No. It’s feels like I discovered my whole life is a lie. I always had everything so right to me, so granted, and now is…” Draco trails of, frustrated.

“I know.” 

“I finished the book, Pride and Prejudice,” Draco says a few minutes later, when the sound of their breathing has become synchronized. “I found it fascinating.”

“You did?” Hermione asks excitedly.

“Yes.” Draco replies and they start in a discussion about the novel, Draco telling her how fascinating was to read the subtle changes in Elizabeth’s perception of Mr Darcy and vice-versa, how the traits they despised started to be traits they admired in the other. Hermione then started on how the upbringing and environment was crucial for the characters’ development and morals. Draco complemented that marriage was purely business and how deeply it affected the characters actions, as they sought for partners that was economically appropriate for them, be it for security or land.

Hermione is glad they are in pure darkness, because her face is crimson from so much hinting at them, at changed perspectives and upbringing.

They spend hours talking; having reached each and every point of the book, and before they know, they are talking about how it is the same thing in the wizarding world, Draco going on a detailed explanation of how the pureblood families works with all their rules, etiquette and courting.

“I know why you wanted me to read,” Draco says after they finished their discussion, “there’s too much of me in Mr Darcy. Here,” Draco fumbles in the dark, searching for his bag, and after grabbing her ankle two times, he finds his bag and pulls the book out. “Lumos!” Draco says and the sudden light made them squint their eyes.

“ _’I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. As a child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit. Unfortunately an only son (for many years an only child), I was spoilt by my parents, who, though good themselves (my father, particularly, all that was benevolent and amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own’_ what about this doesn’t scream my name, I don’t know.” They chuckle and Hermione grabs the book from his hand and reads the rest of the paragraph.

“‘ _And such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth! What do I not owe you!’_ ” She reads making a show of her voice, Draco rolls his eyes, “ _‘you taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased.’_ I couldn’t let you miss the best part,” Hermione laughs, Draco shoves her shoulder lightly.

“Now, now, you are fishing for a thank you.” Draco grabs the book back and closes it.

“Well, I did a pretty good job at making you half decent.” Hermione jokes and Draco gapes at her.

“Half decent? Why?”

“Your refusal to be less of an asshole when I’m not around.”

“Granger, I can’t go being the nice guy, Hogwarts have the Hufflepuffs for that.” Draco answers and she knows it is a lie. 

Hermione knows he prefers to be hated, to be the bully than to be nice. 

“Why?” Hermione stresses, “why you have to be such an idiotic douche pretentious prick smug bastard all the time?”

“You’ve wounded me to the core with your profane characterization.” Draco replies in mock-offence.

“Why you are so incessant in this quest to make everyone hate you?” Hermione asks quietly and suddenly his face is serious once again, “why is so important to have everyone thinking the worse of you?”

“Don’t act like you know me, because you don’t Granger,” Draco sneers and Hermione hates that she made him close off, hated that if she touched him now, he’d jerk away.

Hermione settles for smiling softly at him, “you are wrong Draco. I do know you. I know who you are. What I don’t know is why you think you have to be anything but you.”

“I am what they expect me to be.”

Hermione hates how much it sounds like what Blaise said a few weeks ago, about expectations. She doesn’t want to believe what it could mean.

“Let the world know you as you are, not what they think you should be.”

“I don’t want the world getting its expectations high.” Draco replied, “I guess we should be going, it’s almost one in the morning.” 

Hermione knows a dismissal and sighs, she hates when Draco retreated and hid behind years of perfectly crafted mask of indifference and arrogance.

She hears him sigh and she stops. “There’s this quote,” Draco starts, when they are out of the alcove and Hermione is almost around the corridor, “my favorite, it’s ‘ _I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago.’_ And it fits, because I can’t change anything now, I can’t change the way I treated you and others muggle-borns, I can’t change the words I called you and the looks I gave you. I can’t change what I believe in, right here, right now, because it was given to me too long ago, because it’s what defines me.”

She smiles softly, recognizing the quote from the book, “You can’t change that, but you can change what you do now.” Draco nods and his hardened face softens visibly even in the dim light.

“I can’t promise I won’t make demeaning comments using your heritage anymore, or that I won’t cringe around muggles, because it’s all I ever did, but I guess I can try.”

“I’d be glad to help.” Hermione replies and Draco chuckles

“Half decent, huh?” Hermione only smiles in reply, turning around to the corridor leading to the Gryffindor Corridor.

 

**October 29th, 1995. Umbridge’s Office. Day 356**

 

Umbridge was already smirking when Hermione arrived for the last day of medieval detention. Umbridge apparently was in an awesome mood.

Hermione not so much, not only she had an awful night’s sleep last night, she heard an earful of McGonagall because the Fat Lady had told on her arriving way after curfew. Breakfast and Lunch were a loud ordeal with the Quidditch Match against Slytherin coming up, the Slytherins were doing everything in their power to make Ron nervous and it was working, as her friend wouldn’t shut up about letting Cormac play in his place, not to mention, Zabini, who had taken a liking in sitting next to her in Runes now, spent the whole lesson hinting Draco was planning something and mentioning how he went to his room late and Hermione ‘was looking quiet tired this morning’, ‘well, this is just an interesting coincidence’.

And Draco, who sat with his usual scowl on his face and a smirk on his lips in both meals, throwing mean remarks about anyone and laughing loudly to make his presence known, spent the entire day ignoring her existence and when they met at the empty office after Runes, barely exchanged three words with the girl.

But now, now is the worst moment of the day, thankfully is the last of this, but with Umbridge smirking and her hundreds technicolor kitten plates smirking as well, she can’t find in her to be happy.

Hermione had barely sat on the chair and put her things on the floor when a loud explosion could be heard and Umbridge jumped on her chair. The High Inquisitor got to her feet and looked suspiciously between the door and Hermione, who remained in her seat quietly. Another explosion, this time louder, apparently closer to the D.A.D.A office, had Umbridge shrieking when a distressed Filch barged in the room looking, literally, green and full of pus, holding an even more distressed Mrs. Norris.

“Explosions!” Filch panted as green slime dripped from his hair and fell on the cat, “Smoke! Students everywhere laughing! They are destroying this floor!” One of the pus-covered acne on his face exploded and landed on Umbridge’s fluffy teal-green cardigan. 

Umbridge mutters a series of curses and leaves the office following Filch. 

Hermione stays rotten in place for a couple of seconds before grabbing her stuff and getting out of there. What she sees the moment she exits the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, almost makes her drop everything she is carrying.

The entire floor is filled with an opaque brownish smoke that apparently, everyone who crossed, came the other side with a face full of pus-covered acne; Peeves is cackling, upside down throwing Dungbombs with one hand and slime bags with the other, there is so much slime, most of the portraits are unrecognizable. The students run everywhere, most of them covering their heads, but all of them are laughing and throwing slime bags themselves.

A high-pitched scream that has Hermione and everyone around clutching their ears, from their left that was Umbridge filled with slime and other things Hermione’s lack of visits in Zonko’s makes it impossible to know. The woman gives another scream and waves her wand, cleaning everything with a flick.

On the far corner of the corridor, Draco Malfoy is hiding looking immensely proud with himself, his hair is out of place and there’s such a boyish smile on his face that for once, he looks like a fifteen-year-old boy he is, even younger. 

This is Draco. All of this mess is his doing and his face screams it. Merlin his eyes, when they lock on hers seem to hold all the light and Hermione swears they are smiling. He looks from her face to her hand and his smile grows even bigger, if that is possible, and Hermione’s chest explodes with affection. He had done all of that for her.

She runs to him, to that laughing, crinkling eyes, mess of slime boy, not caring she almost runs over a third year, and snuggles behind the statue of the One-Eyed Witch, hiding with him.

Right now, Draco doesn’t look like the same boy she saw during breakfast. The Draco, the sarcastic, distant, chauvinist, untouchable and a git, isn’t the same boy she is hiding behind a statue with right now. This Draco is a mess, laughing, having fun and so real, so much like the Draco Hermione adores that she doesn’t know what to do with the burst of feeling for him. 

And that’s why, she reasons, she decides to do the unimaginable, and she knows it’s absurd and it will come back to her later, but she wants to, right now, there’s nothing she wants more, so she’s doing it, in this moment, she’s going to kiss him.

And she does. She grabs his neck with both hands and before his face can show any reaction, she covers his lips with hers. He doesn’t react at first, he’s frozen and she doesn’t pull back, just keep holding his neck and her lips on his until he reacts, and he does, amazingly so.

Draco grabs her hips and parts his lips just so, and moves slightly, unsure. Her heart is hammering on her chest and she’s afraid he can hear, but if he does, he doesn’t seem to mind. The kiss is weird at first and she realizes belatedly, that’s her first. Draco tilts his head to the side and unconsciously she does the same and they bump foreheads, she lets a low chuckle escape and he’s grinning on her mouth.

It’s all very unsure and confusing, she knows in the way he moves his lips and tongue that he’s wondering the how’s and why’s or if he should be enjoying this, he makes a small sound in his throat and pull away slightly, Hermione open her eyes and meets his, darkened and with a small frown. She pulls back and realizes she is on her tiptoes.

He looks everywhere but at her, she decides to stare fixatedly to the snake crest on his chest and his unsteady breathing, his smell is everywhere in the small hiding place, she still feel the warmth of his hands on her hips. Hermione is terrified she ruined everything, their friendship.

“I—“ Hermione starts, and vaguely sees Draco shaking his head and she tries to ignore the lump on her throat.

“This shouldn’t have happened.” Draco says and her stomach drops, he isn’t looking at her as she nods furiously. “This can’t happen again.” Draco leaves the hiding spot before he is even finished.

 

Maybe, she thinks to herself later in her bed, maybe it is because she had spent almost every day this week with him. Maybe it is because he had crumbled in front of her last night or because he had been so caring towards her this past week, not telling her on Umbridge, getting angry at her being hurt, apologizing for years of bully and prejudice and now this.

Maybe it isn’t anything too serious; maybe it was spur of the moment. Certainly, wasn’t going to happen again, it was just an off thing.

Hermione vowed herself to believe in this as she closed her eyes to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmmmm soo that happened hahaha
> 
> let me know what you think 
> 
> don't forget, updates comes on Fridays and you know the drill, leave a comment, make the author happy.
> 
> come find me at twitter on singuIarritae


	14. Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! sorry for the late update! life has been a little bit crazy and I didn't see the days passing.
> 
> thank you again for all the incredible support and the kind comments!
> 
> again, the harry potter characters don't belong to me, they belong to JKR and Warner.

**October 3rd, 2003. Potions Office. Day 5445.**

 

“Where were you Pans?” Draco asked angrily, he had looked for the girl in the past couple of days and she was AWOL. 

He had no idea what time was; Theo was still without an office, as the Aurors were investigating the attacks so he spent most of his time with Draco, helping create a potion that could save Hermione. Potter sometimes joined them for his great chagrin, and once he brought George Weasley along and Draco almost lost it.

After his Mother stunt, she explained the gems properties and they were using it, they had an idea of what to do, the only problem was the how. Love was too dangerous to be messed with and they were still far from actually manipulating it, they were using other ingredients for now, trying to see how the things they had reacted together before making it extremely dangerous.

The Weasley worked with mixing stuff for a living so he was good help, but he was also Ron Weasley’s brother and Draco snapped at him for the wrong reasons.

“Sorry.” She mumbled and completely avoided his face; he raised an eyebrow at her. Pansy walked to the counter Theo was in and Draco watched her for a while, she still hadn’t looked at him. 

She was hiding something.

“What is it?” he asked sharply and everyone in the Potions lab looked up apprehensively. Pansy looked at him and narrowed his eyes at him.

“If you had bothered to pay her a visit you’d know!” She snaps, and everyone stops breathing. Potter and Weasley exchange worried looks and Theo just stares at Draco.

“I’m busy.” He replies in gritted teeth, she scoffs.

“Please! Everyone in here has seen her multiple times! You are scared Draco, admit it.”

“Shut up Pansy,” he warns.

“It’s been two weeks! And you make excuse after excuse to keep rolled up in this place! You are a mess! You are terrified!” She explodes, yelling at him.

“Shut up! Shut up! You don’t know shit!”

She laughs bitterly, her eyes filling with tears, “But I know. You don’t even know what I know! She needs you and you are too coward to see her! Grow up! She’s dying—"

“Shut up!”

“What are you waiting for? For a good reason to have a breakdown if she dies and you didn’t visit? Because you are barely holding it together, you idiot!”

Draco watchs Theo trying to hold Pansy back, the girl still screaming insults and then breaking down in sobs. Everyone is looking at the other at loss.

“What she was talking about?” Theo asks, his own eyes rimmed red.

“I don’t know. I visited her just before coming here” Potter says, “she’s okay.”

“As okay as she can be when she keeps forgetting where she is.” George says and Draco wants to murder the remaining twin. “Sorry mate,” the ginger says to Draco, “But Parkinson is right, everyday she’s less vigilant and—“ Draco throws an empty vial across the room, Draco sighs and ran his hands over his hair, a habit he caught since the news.

“I know what Pansy was talking about and it wasn’t this. You should go see her Malfoy.” George finishes, ignoring Draco’s outburst.

“What is it?” He asks, torn. 

He knows, he knows he is making up excuses, but he can’t, he can’t see her sick and dying when Hermione was always full of life.

“It’s not my secret to tell.”

“I need some air,” he says and leave the office.

He walks around the corridors for a while, thinking. He remembers his promise of never being selfish with her and sighs, because that is exactly what he’s doing. He is postponing his visit because he is selfish and doesn’t want to see her sick, but it doesn’t matter what he wants, not when she is the one who needs him.

Making up his mind, he let the Grounds and apparated to St. Mungos.

 

**October 3rd, 2003. St. Mungos. Day 5445.**

Draco finds Blaise leaving her room and the other wizard widen his eyes.

“It took you long enough.” Blaise says, Draco looked down, “she’s not there, I mean she is, but no really.” He says tiredly.

Draco shots him a look and he knows it shows how terrified he is, “Blaise, I—“ he’s about to say he can’t when Blaise interrupts him.

“She wants to see you. She might come back, her moments away are never long.” Blaise explains, “Go on, don’t leave her waiting.” He urges and walks away.

Draco stares at the door for a couple of minutes before opening the door. 

Hermione is lying on her side; her back to him, and from where he stands the only thing that looks the same is her long wild hair in a mess on the bed. She is smaller, paler and curled on herself. He takes a deep breath and walks to her.

He sits on her bed next to her and carefully put his hand on her arm, she turns immediately and the smile on her face and the widened, glazed eyes tells him what he doesn't want to know.

“How did you get in here?” She asks, looking around, “what if someone saw you? How did you get past the stairs?”

“It was empty.” He replies, a lump on his throat. 

“Get in here,” she says, pulling him fully on the bed, “if Lav or Parvati wakes up, we are fucked.” She says worriedly but he still picks a hint of humor.

They arranged themselves in the small bed, she curls up on his chest and he holds her tight, his nose buried on the top of her hair. He just wishes she won’t notice the tears falling silently.

“How was your day?” He asks.

“Loud. They stopped celebrating the win just over an hour ago and I spent the entire afternoon doing Slughorn’s work. How was yours?” She asks softly,

“Lots of Potions too, not so many celebrations though.” She chuckles and hides her laughter on his chest, clearly not wanting to wake up her roommates.

She is quiet for a while and Draco cherishes holding her again, even if he is pretending to be sixteen. He can hear her ragged breathing, her fighting lungs; he pulls her closer still and kisses her hair.

“That’s a nice way to come back,” she whispers in a more serious tone and Draco knows she is back.

“Hey.”

“Hi yourself.” She replies and none of them made any move to change positions, “what are you doing here?”

“Being with you.” He replies, he feels her smile on his chest.

“What took you so long?”

“I was scared.” 

“I’m scared too.” She whispers and raises her head to look at his face. He caresses her cheek. “What terrifies me the most is not dying, is losing myself. I can’t lose my mind Draco.”

“It’s going to be okay, you aren’t going anywhere.”

“I need to tell you something and I’m terrified of what you are going to say.”

“I’m not going anywhere either.”

“In fact, we both are,” she says with a small smile, her chin trembling slightly. “I asked Pansy to prepare it for me.”

“Ok.” He replies, confused, as Hermione tiredly sat down on her bed.

He watches as Hermione picks a small bag and her wand on her bedside table and looks at the closet on the other side of the room wistfully.

“Could you?” She asks, he nods immediately, getting up and walking to the closet. He picks a pair of muggle jeans and a hoodie. She smiles thankfully and they stand awkwardly facing each other.

“I will just turn around.” He mumbles, blushing and turning.

It pains him to stay turned; he can hear Hermione breathing becoming more erratic as her struggled with the jeans and hoodie.

“I need help with my boots.” She declares, defected. He is on her bed in a second. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“You can apologize after I save your life.” He replies, tying her shoelaces. She smiles softly at him.

She stands and picked up the portkey Pansy got her, as she worked in the Department of Magical Transportation. Hermione hands him a vial of her potion and pockets another two.

“When we arrive, I need you to give this one to me, the effects are immediate. It will look scary for a few seconds, but I will be okay.”

“Granger…” He starts, shaking her head, she places the portkey, a silver cufflink, on her palm. “I don’t think it’s safe—you can tell whatever it is, in here.”

“I can’t Draco. I can’t take that away from you.” He nods, even if he doesn’t understand what she is talking about.

Draco knows it is important, Pansy looked distressed and even George Weasley, had a serious face on. Not to mention Hermione, who is trembling slightly.

They both touch the portkey and the uncomfortable feeling of being pulled by the navel hit them and they were transported to a hill.

 

**October 3rd, 2003. Shell Cottage. Day 5445.**

Hermione falls to her knees immediately and she clutches her hoodie, trying to get more access to breath. Draco is beside her in an instant, his arm across her back, holding her in place as he hands her the vial. He can’t even dwell on the shock he felt when their hands touched as he watches her down the potion in one go. Her breath is normal again and she sighs tiredly. He still couldn’t shake what he just witnessed.

“You were turning purple.” He mumbles, his eyes wide, “I thought—”

“I know. I’m okay now.” He studies her, suspiciously and she nods, “I promise, Draco.”

He accepts her word. He stands up and helps her to her feet. He looks around, the light breeze coming from the sea greeted them, the smell of salt water and grass was a good welcome after so long.

“Where are we?” He asked before noticing the small cottage down the hill, he recognizes it at once, but right now the place looks cozy and lived in.

His assumptions are proven true when they hear laughter and a small girl with blonde hair comes running from the door and out to the backyard, small broom in hand.

“Wait for me!” A smaller boy came out of the door, blond hair as well.

“Victoire, please watch out for your cousin! Tu es l’aînée!” Says a woman he vaguely recognizes as Fleur Delacour.

“He’s shit! Why is he coming?” Victoire shouts from her broom, her feet dangling in the air.

“Victoire!” Her mother chastises and the girl rolls her eyes.

“This one is so going to be a Slytherin.” He mentions, as he watches the child fly around her little cousin as fast as her toy broom went, her tongue sticking out.

“This is Shell Cottage, Fleur’s and Bill’s place,” Hermione answers with a smile, he nods, having realized it already, “the oldest is Victoire, she’s 3 and the small one probably is Fleur’s sister’s son.”

“Why are we here?” He asks, for all of places, he couldn’t imagine why Hermione wanted to come here.

“Over here,” she says, he notices the sad expression take over her face, as well as a few tears pulling on her eyes.

They walk a few steps to a small clearing on top of the hill; hundreds of flowers encircled a small headstone. Draco’s stomach turns to ice and he freezes on his feet as Hermione walks to the stone with small steps and shaking hands. He can’t read the name written on it but he has a feeling he wouldn’t want to know.

Draco only moves when he hears Hermione let her first sob out, he walks to her, dread all over his body. He falls on his knees beside her when he reads the name engraved on the stone.

>   
>  _In loving memory of_  
>  Cassiopeia Malfoy  
> 11.03.1998 – 11.03.1998  
>  _Too bright to be anywhere but alongside the stars_

His mind is soaring, he feels tears fall down and a sob escape his lips, Hermione’s hand find his and he never clutched it harder. He never knew her, never got to hold her, but he was crying and mourning like he had spent a lifetime with her. 

His daughter.

“Fleur said—she was upside down, hugging Caelum—protecting him.” Hermione cried, her voice cracking in every word, “she—she was the first delivered, she never cried,” Hermione hiccups and he pulls her on his lap, “she was born with her eyes open—she died in the moment Caelum—she was waiting for him.” Hermione holds onto his shirt, her face on his neck, “she sighed when he first cried and then closed her eyes—she was in my arms Draco—I couldn’t do anything—my arms—“

“I’m sorry love,” he cries, hugging her closer.

“It was like—she was waiting for him—to see if he was okay. She—" Hermione breaks down, her sobs are heart-breaking, he never saw her so raw, so open, he knew from the sounds of her sobs that the wound was still open, she clutched his shirt with the hand not holding his, her body shaking with every intake of breath. 

Draco feels the pain coming from her hitting him like a wave, coming out in an uproar from his throat, like a silent scream, his body wracked with his sobs and his body shook with hers.

“She was twitching—like one—" Hermione takes a deep breath and Draco loses his. His memory went back to the day engraved on the stone. 

His house. His aunt. Hermione’s torture and Bellatrix’s psychotic laughter, _Unforgivable_ after _Unforgivable_ , all the blood on the floor and Hermione cries as the deranged witch aimed at her belly.

“No.” He breathes, shaking his head furiously.

“She shielded it all—Caelum never felt a thing. She protected him, and I couldn’t protect her.”

“It was my fault.” He says, his arms going lax around her.

Hermione panics and grabs him back, finally taking her eyes of their daughter. Her eyes are bloodshot, and her lashes stuck together in clumps; her nose striking with snot and he unconsciously wiped from her face.

“No, Draco. No.” She cries, holding his face with both trembling hands.

“It was in my house, my aunt, Hermione.” He shakes his head and tries to take her hands of him. 

Suddenly, he can’t even look at the grave anymore, his body washed in guilt.

“You did everything you could Draco,” she vows, “I remember, I remember it all from that day. You did everything you could.”

“I didn’t do enough.” He says, his guilt and grief turning into anger, his hands are fists in her hips. He can’t look at his daughter and he can’t look at Hermione anymore, so he closes his eyes.

“I love you.” She says, her forehead on his, and he reopens his eyes immediately. “I loved you so much that day. I never blamed you,” she takes his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her, “she doesn’t blame you.”

“How do you know?” He cries,

“I just do.”

“I’m so sorry Hermione.”

“I’m sorry too.”

He hugs her then, cradling her in his chest, rocking her back and forth, wondering how the world dared to do this to his girl, because right now, she was a girl, the same girl he cradled and rocked on his lap in year six. When he thought the world hadn’t the right to prove to be anything less than what she believed in, because Hermione looked like she was in love with every part of it and he was there the night she broke down when it proved her wrong, and he hated it. And right now, he could scream at the skies, at the Gods and whoever put this girl, this wonder of a girl in a war and stripped her of everything she ever held, everything she ever loved. Draco wanted to revive his aunt so he could kill her again; he wished the woman could feel what he was feeling now.

But most of all, he wished Hermione didn’t know the pain of losing a child, of holding one just to let it go, to privy her of creating memories with her daughter.

And then Draco remembers. Dreams of a small girl with long blonde hair and grey eyes, running around the Manor with Caelum, small laughter that was too feminine to be from Caelum, two beds in a room. A feeling inside of him, too deep rooted, that he knew those dreams were more than dreams.

He gasps and his tears resume their stream in a silent fall.

“I know her,” he whispers and Hermione looks up, “I often dream of her. Caelum has these dreams too.” He confesses and memories rushes to the front of his mind, “he once told me how he always felt like something was missing, like there was something wrong and I always thought it was because of you, he missed you. But he misses her.”

“You have them too?” She asks, her eyes too bright because of the tears. Draco nods. “I see her all the time, hear her.”

So, Draco tells her every single dream he ever had of a girl, she tells him hers, and they share stories like they are real. They stop crying, their shared memories - dreams, bringing smiles to their faces.

The pair talks for hours and they feel like she’s with them, laughing along as they tell about a dream where Caelum and Cassiopeia decided to build a tree house without magic. Draco tells her all about Caelum’s dreams and feelings, how the boy sometimes says he has strength that isn’t his and how he feels a helping hand. 

 

**October 3rd, 2003. St. Mungos. Day 5445.**

 

“Why did you decided to tell me this now?” He asks after helping her out of her clothes and back on her hospital gown.

“I didn’t want her to be alone, if—“

“She won’t.” He promises her, “and you won’t leave her Granger, I promise you.” He promises again, and he knows, from the moment the promise leaves his mouth, that’s not a lie.

It doesn’t matter how weak Hermione is right now, how he needed to give her a potion before they Apparated back to St. Mungo’s, because the walk from the hill had her legs giving out and her lungs struggling to breath. It doesn’t matter she’s too thin and too pale, because he knows, with the same certainty he had the moment they kissed from the first time, that he wouldn’t never let her go.

She smiles softly at him and he climbs in the bed with her. “I’m sorry I kept her from you.”

Draco sighs, he knows somewhere in him feels angry at her being kept from him, but he also knows he has talked to Hermione a total of four times since Cassiopeia was born and he knows the circumstances these meetings were and knew it wasn’t the time or place for telling him. Draco also knows this isn’t something she could have told any differently than how she did, a letter wouldn’t work, he needed to see.

“I understand.” He says honestly and run his fingers through her hair, smiling softly at how they still tangle on the mess that is her curly locks. “What I don’t understand is why you kept her a secret from everyone else.”

“I couldn’t bear the look they kept giving me. The pity eyes and the whispered conversations, they treated me like I was going to break. When we were at Shell Cottage—" she took a deep breath and Draco’s hand found hers, he gave it a squeeze, “Luna Lovegood, Dean Thomas, Ollivander and Griphook were there as well, and Remus Lupin stopped by once, to tell the news of Teddy. They all talked, I refused to speak with anyone, I knew I had things to do with Harry and Ron, so I just stayed in the room with Caelum. Harry and Ron knew, the others were trying to find out who was the father.

‘It was a month and a few days later when we left, the day before the Battle of Hogwarts, I talked with Bill and it was his idea, he told me people were being captured left and right and how dangerous was to have a kid, Tonks had stayed hidden during her entire pregnancy, he knew it was yours.” Hermione smiles softly, “he said there was just one family with a hair and eyes like that – Cassie—had your eyes as well, the short time she had them open—It was as clear as yours, Bill knew and he asked me to obliviate him, in case anything happened to him, he didn’t want them looking in his mind and seeing Caelum. 

‘He then asked everyone else to do it as well, they agreed, so I did it. I erased everyone’s memories of Cassie and everyone’s but Fleur’s, Harry’s and Ron’s of Caelum, and the weight that fell on me, being the only one who knew her, was almost as heavy as the grief. I held on to the knowledge, to the secret and it consumed me, because I knew it was the only thing no one could ever take from me.”

Draco nods, understanding her reasoning, he couldn’t imagine what she went through, such loss and grief, and he understood her necessity to hold to that, to something that was hers after everything that was taken from her.

“And then I told George two years later, he was a mess after the war, after Fred, I saw so much of me in his grief, in his pain, that I told him, he had lost his twin, I had lost both. We shared the pain and we helped each other for a while.”

“But then he moved on.” Draco concludes, and he knows it is true, he had seen Hermione today and her pain wasn’t one of someone who had mourned and grieved and accepted, her pain was still new and wide open.

“Then he moved on and I still felt Cassie absence every day, I still struggled being around the Weasleys because the only thing they saw was your surname and after a while, I was the only one still suffering and they didn’t deserve any more pain, I didn’t want to hinder their happiness, so I bore it,” she explains between yawns, “I’m so tired Draco,” she whispers, “so, so tired. I’m going to sleep now, don’t disappear.” As she closes her eyes, Draco lets a single tear escape when she falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...... the big secret is out now oops. I feel really sorry for them, so much sadness
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments.
> 
> Updates comes on Fridays.


	15. Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> and I'm back with another one.

**November 2nd, 1995. Quidditch Pitch. Day 360**

Draco avoided her like the plague for the last four days, he avoided being in the same place as her even if he was meters away, like the Great Hall, where he made his mission to arrive as early as possible and leave just as she was entering. Blaise and Theo on tow.

Blaise, on the other hand, smirked at her every time he passed her, it didn’t take long for Hermione to realize Draco had told him about the kiss. Even harry and Ron had noticed the smirks he was throwing at her and she hastily made an excuse to why.

She was walking down to the Quidditch Pitch by herself, as she was late, now that Ron was playing, she didn’t have anyone at her ear to hurry her, even Neville had gone already.

“So, Granger,” a voice called behind her, and she rolled her eyes when she realized it was the dark-skinned beauty. “I thought you’d wear green for this match, to support the boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” She turns around so quickly that both Blaise and Theo stumbles on her. Her eyes widens when she notices Theo standing there, as she had never talked to the boy before. 

“Well, last time I checked, that’s what one calls the person you’ve been kissing under statues and spending long nights with, isn’t it?”

“Draco and I are definitely not dating.” She hisses

“Draco, huh?” He asks with a smirk she was all too well accounted with by now, “what happened with that wonderful performance of calling him only by Malfoy and making a show of only speaking of him with dislike?” Hermione narrows her eyes at him and he laughs loudly, she huffs.

“Do you ever say anything without a smirk on or sarcasm?” 

“No.” Theo replies with a snort and she grins.

Before any of them could say anything else, they hear a loud cheer and dozens of students appear soaring in the air.

“Shit,” Blaise mutters, “the game started.” And he ran to the pitch.

“He will come around.” Theo says with a soft smile before sprinting after Blaise.

Hermione ran as well, but towards the Gryffindor stands, not dwelling on Theo’s word and deciding the now frantic beating of her heart was excitement with the game.

 

The excitement clearly wasn’t with the game as this one was terrible as ever, maybe more with how many Quaffles Ron was letting in and the annoying and louder by the second, song the Slytherins were singing.

She watched as Pansy Parkinson enthusiastically lead the chorus and despised the girl even more. Hermione searched for Blaise to see if he was singing as well and found him struggling to remain singing at the top of his lungs and wave both arms from left to right, as he couldn’t stop laughing so hard. Theo was reading a book.

He had actually brought a book with him to the match. Not even Hermione did that anymore! And Merlin knew how tempting it was.

Hermione decided Theo was her favorite Slytherin.

 

Her opinion on Theo only increased half an hour later.

She was too high on the stands, so she couldn’t hear what they were saying, but by the looks on Draco, Harry and the twins face, probably nothing good, in fact, she knew it was awful. Draco said something that had Harry holding George, and Angelina, Alicia and Kate struggling to refrain Fred as they both kept trying to leap at the Slytherin.

Hermione tried to get to the pitch as fast as she could, but the mass of students wasn’t moving, and she had to push her way through the crowds. She reached the ground the same time Harry threw the first punch at Draco’s stomach and Hermione screamed at the same time as the girls. George grabbed the opportunity and kicked a fallen Draco and Hermione widened her eyes in horror as the three rolled around in the grass exchanging punches and kicks.

When Madam Hooch finally intervened, Draco was on the floor, with a bleeding nose, a swollen lip and curled on himself. Hermione had to physically restrain herself to not run to him because she knows, in every bone on her body, that whatever caused this fight was his fault.

She watched Professor Snape pick Draco from the ground and winced at how he whimpered at being moved, he dragged him away from the pitch, with Blaise and Theo at each side of him.

“Incredible!” Blaise exclaimed, so loud that she could hear even with them walking away, “terrible, but incredible!”

“What the fuck Draco?” She heard Theo ask. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Come on Theo, he’s hurt!” Blaise argued.

“Because he’s an idiot! A complete imbecile to insult both Weasleys and Potter like that!”

 

**November 3rd, 1995. Hospital Wing. Day 361**

 

“Where are you?” She screeches as she barges into the Hospital Wing the next morning.

She had heard all about what happened the previous day from Harry and she was fuming.

“What—" He starts when he sees her marching at him.

“What’s your bloody problem?” She yells, “the song wasn’t enough, was it? No, you had to go and say even worst things after the game! And two to one! Weasley was born in a bin!” She scolds, “Really Draco? Offend Harry’s dead mother? How low can you stoop?” Hermione says viciously.

“Are you quite finished?” 

“No!” She screams. “What’s wrong with you? Of course, it had to be you to come up with those lyrics! No, you couldn’t just be the bigger person and leave them alone! You had to open your mouth to insult them and get all beaten up!” 

Hermione is so angry she doesn’t realize at first the tears pooling around her eyes, which only makes her angrier when she notices she is about to cry.

“A broken rib! Two lost teeth! A broken nose!” Her voice growing higher at every sentence, “you got seriously hurt because of childish behavior and—“

Hermione never got the chance to finish her sentence because he pulled her by the wrist and locked his lips on her, shutting her up.

She hated how it worked, because instantly her hands were on his hair as he pulled her between his legs, her thighs touching the bed he was still sitting on. 

The kiss is more urgent this time and angry, Hermione is still mad at him and she let him know in the way she kissed him and in the angry sounds she makes with her throat during the kiss. 

Draco kisses like he is trying to make a point, Hermione isn’t sure what point it’s exactly, but she catches the message all the same.

They kiss for a couple of minutes, his hands holding her hips firmly, but not enough to hurt, just to make everything a bit more heightened; the feel of his tongue entering her mouth and the way they move together as long lost acquainted sent chills to her body and she couldn’t help the moan that escapes her lips as her hands make a mess of his slicked hair. 

He pulls back just slightly and lets a heavy breath out, he opens his mouth to speak but she interrupts him.

“I know, this can’t—“

“Will you shut up or I will have to kiss you again?” He asks exasperatedly and Hermione blushes. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not me you have to apologize,” she points out and he rolls his eyes

“This is the most you are going to get.” He replies, it is her turn to roll her eyes.

“Draco…” She starts, he shakes his head.

“Don’t. Granger, can you once do something without thinking about it for at least two hours? Please?”

She nods, noticing just now how they are still standing close to the other, his legs still on either side of hers.

“Can we still have our study meetings or are you going to ignore me again?” She asks after a while, having already stepped away from him, a respectful distance between them, and he snorts.

“I will see you on Monday.” He replies, she nods and leaves the Hospital Wing just as Madam Pomfrey was returning with Snape.

 

**November 5th 1995. Great Hall. Day 363**

 

“Where do you always run off to these days?” Ron asks as they ate dinner.

“To the library obviously!”

“But I went there the other day and I didn’t find you.”

“For that you have to actually enter the library Ron,” she replies sarcastically and Harry grins, Ron swats at him. “And it’s our O.W.LS year, I need to be every bit prepared—”

“The O.W.L.S are months away Hermione! We have a whole year worth of class before they—"

“—And there’s this thing now with Hagrid, I need to plan his classes, you know, we can’t have him be sacked and yesterday, he completely ignored my pleas—"

“But you said he hadn’t any chimaeras so—"

“Well, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have something almost as bad, you know Hagrid and he’s clearly missing some lack of distinction between dangerous and not dangerous.”

“I don’t think Hagrid would do something to increase he’s chances of being sacked.” Harry put in, Hermione needed to refrain herself from snorting.

“With Umbridge here, we need to be very careful.” she replies instead and starts to pack her things to go.

“Are you going to the library now?” He asks, in between a bite of his third chicken leg.

“Yes.”

“But you already did all the homework on the weekend! What can you still possibly have?”

“Professor Vector assigned us this essay, it’s in group and I’m with Zabini—" Hermione notices Ginny snapping her head in Hermione’s direction, her eyes wide, Hermione raises a single eyebrow at the ginger girl, who blushes and looks away. Interesting.

“Zabini? You are partnered up with Zabini? That preposterous git from Slytherin?” Ron asks and Hermione notices Ginny blushing harder.

“Yes, and in Ancient Runes as well.” Ron makes a disgusting face and Hermione rolls her eyes, “oh, come off it Ron, he’s not nearly as bad as the others and he’s incredibly smart as well—"

“Hermione, I’m sorry but we don’t really want to talk about Zabini.” Harry says sincerely and Ron nods enthusiastically and mumbles something about ‘git’ and ‘serpent’ under his breath.

“Are you meeting him there?” He asks, Hermione steals a quick glance to the Slytherin table to see if he was there and noticed thankfully that he wasn’t.

“Yes, I’m late Ron, I really need to go.” She explains.

“And you are this eager to return to the library now?” Hermione senses a jealous tone in his voice.

“Yes, the sooner I get there, the sooner I can leave.” At that, Ron seems to agree with her.

“It just feels you are never with us anymore.” He complains and Hermione sighs.

“Nonsense Ron, I’m always with you boys and it’s not like I can study in the common room, with Fred and George having turned that place into their shop,” she explains and grabs her stuff from the table, “I will see you later.”

She walks out of the Great Hall in quick strides, she had seen Draco leave a few minutes earlier and she was eager to see him. She couldn’t lie and say she wasn’t anxious to meet him, because she was. Hermione had spent the entire weekend trying not to make a big deal out of everything that had happened between them, to just let it happen. 

They had kissed, twice. But that didn’t mean they were a thing now, she knew. She had heard enough of Lavender and Parvati’s tales to understand: people kissed, it didn’t have to mean anything.

But even as she knew this, she couldn’t help the way her heart was beating frenetically inside her chest.

 

**November 5th, 1995. Professor Merrythought Office. Day 363**

“Hey.” She greets the moment she arrives.

Draco is sitting in the round table on the corner of the room, opposite to the grand piano on the right. His feet are resting in the chair in front of him, his books and parchment are sprawled on the table and his bag is on the chair on his left.

He looks up from his writing and turns in her direction, “Hi”, he says with a small smile, Hermione blushes and Draco smirks and opens his mouth to say something absurd.

“Spare me,” she warns, his smile grows, Hermione wants to poison the butterflies on her stomach.

Draco raises his bag from the chair with a wave of his wand and Hermione feels a déja-vu from when he had done the same thing last year when they studied together at the library.

Hermione missed studying there, having all the books around her and within reach, but she knew it was impractical this year, with the students from the other schools gone and the fifth year crawling up with homework, it was always crowded and even Harry and Ron had taken to spend some time – still small – there. 

Now she had to make a small trip to the library, borrow the books she’d need and come here. It made her bag even heavier, but on the other side, she had the silent and the comfort.

She could sprawl her things around her, lay on the sofa and talk freely with Draco, not to mention the cozy and comfortable feeling she had every time they were together.

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” He replies, she snorts. Draco shakes his head and goes back to his Divination chart.

She hadn’t lied to her friends, she was partnered up with Blaise for Arithmancy, but they were going to meet up on Thursday during their free period.

She went over her essay for Professor Flitwick, doing the last revision, filling in with details about the delection charm and the vanishing charm and the difference between the two.

They were together for 15 minutes when Hermione felt Draco’s foot wrapping around her calf. She congratulates herself for not jumping at the contact and looks at him to find the left side of his lip curled up in a small smile. No one says anything.

“I regret signing up for this class every single day.” Draco huffs after crumbling his third piece of parchment into a ball and throwing at the center of the table.

“Do you need help?” She asks politely, he scowls at her, and Hermione rolls her eyes, “ok then.”

“It’s not that I don’t know how to do it, because obviously I know, but I can’t draw this sodding chart. That bint not only asked us to write our dreams but to draw them, can you believe? Draw the bloody dream and to associate with our horoscope charts! So now I have to draw a sketch of my dream and how the position of Mercury, the running planet on my sign, mind you, affects my dream and where the bloody planet is on the sky right now.”

Hermione chuckles and he sneers at her, which only makes her laugh more.

“You are a Gemini right?” She asks and he nods, still looking at her suspiciously, “it’s just hilarious, your regent is Mercury and it’s known for being the winged messenger who delights in stirring up mischief, rules motion and speech. And Gemini? They are known of their gossipy traits, dirty tricks and snarky remarks and they favor superficiality over substantiality.”

“Are you done bad-mouthing my sign?” He asks, clearly offended, she laughs harder.

“It’s just so you!” she erupts in a fit of giggles and he scowls at her.

“You are a Virgo!” He snaps as it was the worst thing in the world, she stops laughing and narrows her eyes at him.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” She asks scathingly.

“That your sign is ruled by Mercury as well! And Virgo’s are nags and nitpickers! Not to mention relentlessly critical, obsessive-compulsive and absolutely control-freaks! Does it scream Granger already or I still need to mention their incessant question for perfection?” He snaps and she throws all his crumbled parchments at him in affront.

“How old are you? Five?”

“Who are you to call me control-freak? You are the one who wasted dozens of parchments because your drawing isn’t good enough! And I’m a critical? You critic everyone all the time!”

“Me? I’m merely stating facts! Or should I say my snarky remarks?”

“Yes!”

“And you are a nag! Or should I tell you what your fellows Gryffindors have been saying since you gained Prefect?”

She gasps, “You wrote an entire song just to criticize Ron! You’ve been abusing the power of being a prefect since the moment you pinned it to your robes!”

They glare at each other for what seemed like hours, taking turns in huffs and scowls until Hermione burst in laughter and Draco followed her, both of them laughing loudly. Draco let a cackle out and covered his mouth in embarrassment, which made her laugh harder and cackle herself.

“Merlin, you are só infuriating.” He says, shaking his head.

“I can’t believe we argued about our signs,” she says between giggles.

“I can’t believe you crumbled the parchment I was working on.” He says, looking in front of him to find his homework gone.

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry Draco! I didn’t notice!”

“It’s okay, I was going to begin it again anyways.” He shrugs, she mutters ‘perfectionist’ under her breath.

“Here, try this,” she says and takes a pencil and an eraser she had brought from home out of her bag. She had found too complicated doing all her work on Runes and Arithmancy with a Quill.

“What on Salazar’s name is this?” He asks, eyeing the two objects cautiously.

“It’s what Muggles use to write—Come on Draco, it’s not going to take your fingers off!” He scowls and snatches the things from her hand.

“How do I use this stuff?” She sighs exasperatedly, really, wizards can be so thick sometimes.

“Here, let me,” she grabs it back and on a new piece of parchment writes:

 

_Draco’s Malfoy fifth attempt at drawing_

 

“Very funny Granger, really mature.”

“And then you just need to rub this over the writing and tan-nan! It’s gone! Just like magic!” She says and he snorts, she blushes, noticing what she said.

“Just like magic, then?”

“Shut up and do it yourself.”

He picks up the pencil and the eraser, eyes it skeptically a little longer and then the parchment now in blank again.

“And what do I do when I’m done? I doubt Trelawney will accept if I hand it in with this.”

“Well, just use your Quill on top of what you did with the pencil. This way you can correct your mistakes and then when you decide it’s reaching your standards, you use ink”

He nods and began his drawing again, this time much more warily, Hermione had to contain the laughter at the sight of Draco Malfoy writing in pencil.

By the time they picked their stuff to leave, Hermione didn’t mention the fact that Draco pocketed the pencil and eraser. 

 

**November 8th, 1995. Library. Day 366**

 

Hermione tried to explain to Ron and Harry that there was no need for them to come to the library with her, that she was going to be okay alone with Zabini in a library and that he wasn’t going to curse her into oblivion, but nothing she said made them drop it.

So, when Thursday rolled around, they strolled with her to the library and sat two tables on her left. It was ridiculous how they pretended to read but kept throwing glances at her every now and them. She appreciated the action, but it was unnecessary.

“So,” Blaise says the moment he settles down in front of her and Hermione’s lip curls into a small smile. He always started their conversations with a ‘so’. Ron almost drops his book in his enthusiasm, “A penshil huh?”

Hermione chuckles, “it’s called pencil.”

“And that thing that makes what you wrote disappear--”

“It’s an eraser.”

“Should I be scared on how wrapped around your finger you have my—" He starts, with a smile on his voice, and Hermione shushes him before he can finish and points with her head to her friends. “Because he didn’t shut up about his knew gifs and it’s hilarious how excited he is about a pencil.” He finishes in a whisper.

Hermione blushes furiously and hopes Zabini can’t hear the frenetic beating of her heart.

“Pencils are very nice.” She replies casually, and he snorts.

“I’m certain. Why are they here anyway?” 

“They don’t trust you,” she says in tightened lips, Zabini snorts.

“I’ve been practicing a few hexes; do you mind if I test them on you?” He asks in a loud voice and Hermione rolled her eyes at him.

“Ron, relax” she says exasperatedly, “he’s just provoking you two. He won’t do anything, put that wand down.”

Blaise laughs loudly, she tries very hard to keep a smile from appearing. What Hermione could say? She was growing more and more fond of the Slytherin sense of humor.

“Should we start then? Our hex-free study hour?” Blaise asks with mirth and she snorts, Ron looks incredibly affronted at her reaction. Harry is suspiciously quiet and not taking his eyes off Blaise. Hermione nods and they open their books.

They had four Runes to translate so they set to work, at first, they were quiet, just scribing down the meanings, the numbers represented and other things that might be useful for the translation, such as the God and plant related.

Ten minutes in, Ron gasps indignantly because Blaise changes seats and goes to sit next to her instead of in front of her. He ignores, and Hermione thinks Blaise is finally maturing. 

She knows Draco wouldn’t miss the opportunity to raise the boy.

“I don’t think this is right, this one is for wealth and ambition; do you see it looks like an F? It’s fehu—”

“I know it’s fehu, but in this case I think it’s for fulfilment not wealth, do you see this one here?” Hermione points to the one after the odd-looking F, “The X? It’s gebo, it’s for love and here,” she points to the following one, “it’s othila, for family.”

“It could have been, if this one—" He points to the rune that resembled an S, “wasn’t just after othila—this is jera, the rune for success, by the way” he explains the obvious and grabs her book, turns a few pages and hands it back to her. “See, jera translates to harvest, and represent the number 12 – twelve months of the year – and it’s about rewards from seed sown in the past, success after past efforts—"

“Oh! Yeah, I think you are right, because this way it makes sense, see—" She turns back a few pages, “fehu in the sense of realized ambition and good fortune—" Ron grunts a sound beside them as they both lean in closer to the book.

“It also means cattle, which was a measure of wealth—"

“But this meaning is more ancient, now it means money and possession—"

“You do know the name of this class right Granger?”

“Oh shush! If we look at the meaning you said for jera, it could mean the hard work that leads one to wealth.”

“Yes, that’s more likely! So, if we look at othila meaning for home as property, not family, we also have something resembling wealth, because it talks about acquisition through inheritance and birth right, the wealth from inheritance—"

“And othila as love of family, home and homeland, a united family is destined for great wealth—"

“Not to mention othila can be everything we have accumulated through your lifetime and something we pass on to our children, be it material or personal skill.”

Blaise nods excitedly and Hermione couldn’t help the pleasant smile on her face, she knew she was a big nerd and loved doing homework, but Ancient Runes were never as interesting as it was now. She steals a quick glance at her friends and both are looking agape at them, the big question mark on Harry’s face was laughable and Ron looked like someone who could fall asleep at any moment if he wasn’t so invested in watching Blaise.

Before Blaise, the only other person she felt like she could talk about homework related was Draco and it was times like this she didn’t regret her choice of talking to him that first day last year. She was glad the Slytherin had entered her life and that Blaise had invited himself along.

“We have only one left now,” Blaise starts, “and it’s the only one I’m finding a bit tricky, I can’t seem to find a meaning that fits with what we did.” He says, sighing and leaning back in the chair and lazily putting an arm around her chair. Hermione hears a hard intake of breath coming from Ron and a loud bang and swearing behind them.

Both Hermione and Blaise look behind them and find Draco seething two tables away and a red-faced, choking on laughter, Theodore Nott. Blaise smirks and Draco narrows his eyes at his friend.

“So,” he starts and turns back to their books, not removing his arm from her chair, “and to say I was enjoying making Weasley jealous.”

“Don’t be a git.”

“Impossible, it’s a pre-requisite for being in Slytherin.”

“Theo is nice.” She shrugs and he snorts.

“Have you talked to him?”

“Well no, but—“

“He’s quiet, and he’s terrified of his father, he prefers to lie low than to remember that old snake he exists. He’s stuck between trying to live his life and trying to run away from it.”

“I still can’t see nothing wrong with it.”

“He’s annoyingly neutral, won’t join us but won’t say a word if there’s something wrong happening right under his nose, but anyway, we aren’t a couple of Hufflepuffs, let’s go back.” He says, leaning in again on the book.

“Gebo is the rune for the number seven and Merlin knows how many properties this number has.” Hermione starts and sighs as well.

“Let’s see, gebo is the rune for love, partnership, forgiveness, gift, talent, skill or ability.” Blaise reads the passage on Advanced Rune Translation. “Let’s go over one at a time.”

“We crossed love out, so it could mean good fortune in partnerships—“ Blaise scribbles it down, “it says partnerships as in unions, be it in love or in business.” he writes that as well and hands it over to her.

“Or it can mean forgiveness, which mingles with the gift meaning, because one can say forgiveness if the greatest gift of all, be it to give or to receive.”

“Yeah, it’s here, ask for forgiveness and it will be given. So, we also have the discovery or development of a skill or talent, an artistic ability or something like give compassion.”

“I still can’t seem to find one meaning that goes with!” he says exasperatedly, she nods frustrated.

“Oh!” She gasps, “I think I know Blaise!” She says happily, “it was in our face all this time, see—“ She points to the gebo rune, “can you see how it’s a little bit more dark than the others, a bit larger?” He nods, “it represents a full meaning, I think, in this case, we have to look at it seeing everything.”

“Granger you are a genius!” He shouts and Madam Pince shushes them from wherever she was. “That makes completely sense, even if it’s just a coincidence that this particular rune is a bit darker—look, I think we got it now, it’s fehu, gebo, othila and fera right?” She nods and he writes something down in such speed she can’t barely make out the letters.

“What are you doing?” She asks curiously.

“Writing the translation in form of text, here: we achieve wealth, accomplish our ambitions because of our skills, our ability to work and do something, with who we partner up and the good fortune brought by these unions we make along the way, joining this with gifts, whether it’s a present, an attribute or a certain skill, and the ability to forgive and give in return—Well that’s what I have so far”

“It’s good. We can finish it with—write it down while I say—Combining what comes from us with our properties, our inheritance, our love for our home and land, we will, in the long run, if we keep tending to and balancing between giving and receiving, be successful because of our efforts.” She finishes, he smiles proudly at their work.

“Granger, I think we have another Outstanding in our list of O.W.L.S” He says, holding the parchment with all their translations and conclusion in front of him, “it’s so beautiful, I think I’m going to cry!”

She laughs loudly at that and Hermione doesn’t even bother with looking at Ron, she knows he is mad. But she does look at Harry, who only looks impressed.

“Just make sure you don’t cry over it please.” She joked and he nodded seriously.

“Geminio!” Hermione cast the doubling charm and rolls up both pieces of parchment, handing one to her and the other putting inside his bag. “This way we can both have one”

They start picking their stuff up, Blaise merely throw his ink and quill back in his bag since the boy hadn’t any book with him, he had taken to using hers since that first class he sat beside her. Hermione doubts he bought the books.

“Oh, I almost forgot, do you have more pencils? I’d like one too.” He asks in a whisper and Hermione widens his eyes because it is the first time she is seeing Zabini being abashed.

“Yes, I do.” She says, after composing herself.

“Great! And can you get one for Theo as well? Two for him, because Daphne loves sketching, and he wants to impress her, you know, they are betrothed and all.”

“They are what?”

“Betrothed.”

“This stuff still happens?” She asks perplexed.

“Yeah, all the time.” He replies confused.

“But this is such an archaic thing, why people still do it?” 

Blaise remains confused for a few seconds and then his face changes in one in understanding.

“I forgot you aren’t pureblood and don’t know about this stuff,” he says in such a nonchalantly way that Hermione gapes at him incredulously. Did he just say he forgot she, Hermione Granger, wasn’t a pureblood? “The old families, the pureblood, want to keep their bloodline pure so they arrange marriages between families from a young age to make sure the line stays pure. Not to mention marriage in the old families are often business deals, assurance of alliances—“

“Does the—You know—“ She blurts and he smirks at her.

“Draco? Oh yeah, the Malfoys are very known in betrothing, just see Narcissa and Lucius, there’s yet to happen a bigger alliance than the Blacks and the Malfoys, but Draco isn’t betrothed to no one, if that’s what you want to know.” He explains with a smirk, she blushes.

“And you?”

“My family isn’t from Britain, we don’t have the same costumes as these folks, like an agreement, courtship, miss manners, exchanging gifts and all that tedious list of rules of can and can'ts—“ He stops at the look of utter confusion in Hermione’s face, “I have the feeling I will have to explain all of this to you someday, but anyway, back to Theo and Daphne.

‘They were betrothed at a very young age, but it was alright because during third year they started to have feelings for each other and now they are ridiculously nauseating.”

“The Weasleys, they—“

“Hermione are you finished?” Ron asked annoyed, interrupting them.

“Yeah, I—“

“Good, let’s go then, because it’s getting too crowded in here.” He says, narrowing eyes at Draco who had a sneer on his face.

She looks at Blaise and he nods, “Bye Granger.” He says and walked over to his friends.

The Gryffindor trio started to head to the exit of the library.

“Oh, and Blaise,” she says, turning around, her back to her friends, “I will send you them through Draco,” she says in a low voice and he nods, Draco looks between the pair confused, she shots a quick smile to the blond and ran to catch up with his friends.

“How can you possibly have that much to talk with Zabini?” Ron asks sullenly.

“He’s intelligent.” She says and regrets it almost right away, because Ron shot a scathingly look and she realizes she had offended him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we have a sneak preview of how the friendship between Hermione x Blaise started!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! let me know in the comments and if you want to scream, you can find me on twitter at singuIarritae!
> 
> Updates comes on Fridays.


	16. Sixteen

**November 13th, 1995. Forbidden Forest. Day 371**

Hermione tried for the next few days to find some time to deliver the pencils and erasers to Draco, but with the D.A meetings becoming more frequent with the end of the term just around the corner and the trio visiting Hagrid the entire weekend, trying yet again, to convince him to show creatures likely to appear on the O.W.L.S, she couldn’t find a spare minute to try and find him.

The girl was dying to talk to Blaise as well, because on Sunday morning Ginny had spilled the beans and Hermione was proven right. The pair had kissed. But Ginny promised it was a mistake, that wasn’t going to happen never again, and it only happened because Blaise was too beautiful, and she was mad at Michael Corner at the time.

For the first time since that day on the library, Hermione was near the Slytherins again. She couldn’t believe how she hadn’t notice Theo and Daphne before, because the pair was very cute. He remained close to her all the time and as the girl talked excitedly with Parkinson and Tracy Davis, he kept looking at her with adoring eyes. Daphne would every few minutes turn to Theo and shoot him a smile.

Hagrid explained what they were going to do, divided them in trios and guided them to the forest. This was the farthest they have come so far in class and Hermione shared worried glances with Harry.

She could hear Draco muttering affronted words and caught him glancing around him all the time, scared something was about to jump at him. They walked for more ten minutes and the majority of sunlight was gone, with all the tress standing so close together, leaving them in the twilight. Hermione couldn’t see the students in the far sides or what was in midst of the trees.

“Gather roun’ people.” Hagrid calls after dropping the large cow he was carrying on the floor, “wha’ we are seeing today prefers ter dark an’ will be attracted by the smell o’ the meat.” 

Hagrid gives a weird shrieking sound and if she wasn’t so terrified about whatever Hagrid was going to show them that preferred the dark and was attracted by the smell of meat, she would have laughed at the sound.

She hears the sound of leaves being crumpled a few feet in front of her and squints her eyes trying to find what it is, but she can’t see a thing.

Hagrid makes the weird sound again and after a minute a few students start to murmur and point to a darkened spot between two trees, the others remain confused.

Hermione looks around confused and expectantly, like the majority of the class, but as pieces of meat start to strip themselves away from the flesh and vanishing in thin air, people gasp startled and some even walk closer to their friends.

“Now, put yer hands up if you can see ‘em.” Hermione watches as Harry, Neville and Theo raise hands.

“What are we supposed to be seeing?” Asks Draco, with much more sneer in his voice than necessary.

“Thestrals.” Hagrid announces and understanding downs in Hermione, of course! He goes on explaining what they were doing in Hogwarts, explains the misconceptions around these creatures as Parvati said they brought bad luck and asks who knew why some people could see them an some couldn’t. Hermione raises her hand.

“Go on.” Hagrid beams at her.

“Thestrals are invisible to everyone but the ones who have seen death.” She explains and he smiles widely at her.

“Excellent! Ten points ter Gryffindor!” He is about to go on another explanation when they are interrupted by Umbridge.

Hermione knows the class will go downhill from there. Hagrid becomes flustered as she asks questions and scribbles on her clipboard, voicing her words to the entire class. Parkinson is already cackling. Umbridge then starts to talk to Hagrid in a way that shows she doesn't believe he can understand English, using mimics and talking very slowly with a voice usually used with children. Draco is in fits of laughter and she wants to hex him till he grows up.

“You hag!” She says, a little too loud, fury flooding through her veins, Umbridge turns around, her eyes narrowing at Hermione.

“Said something, darling?” Umbridge asks in a fake sweet voice, the ice on her voice still noticeable.

“No.” Says Hermione, in gritted teeth.

She then starts to ask students questions as Hagrid struggles to regain control of the class. Hermione’s eyes follows that evil toad, shooting daggers to her.

Umbridge only leaves after she's satisfied with the stuttering mess she left Hagrid deeming she had everything necessary to sake him.

Hagrid, unmotivated, tells the students to pick a piece of meat and feed the Thestrals, barely finishing the instructions before he walks away in order to sulk. Ron and Harry go after him, obviously trying to make him feel better, Hermione stays behind, she is still too furious with the situation and she knows she is going to make things worse for Hagrid if she goes.

She, just like the majority of her classmates, picks pieces of meat and starts to offer them to nothing, clearly scared and unaware of where the creatures are. Now and then she could hear some yelps and gasps as the creatures took the meat out of their hands.

“This is ridiculous!” She hears Draco say, “feeding invisible creatures! How am I supposed to feed them if I can’t bloody see them?” He asks Theo and Blaise, but neither answers, Theo was looking particularly brooding and looking sadly at where they are supposed to be.

“Not to mention that big oaf, made us walk in the middle of the forest! If my father hears about this, we won’t need Umbridge to get rid of him!” He keeps talking, “This is so stupid!” He throws a piece of meat in a random direction and sneers at the nothingness. 

“What’s the point of studying them if I can’t see them? Pathetic, if you ask me, I wish I could see these bloody things, I bet they are horrid looking to—“

Hermione has had enough. She looks around; making sure everyone is too busy to pay attention, searches for Harry and Ron and, after noticing they are out of sight, marches towards him.

“How can you be so annoying?” She says when she reaches the trio.

“Granger.” Draco greets, his face completely masked.

“Come off it! Really, do you need to complain all the time?”

“What has got into you?”

“Can’t you see your friend can see them? And your incessant complains about not being able to see it? Your awfully bigoted head can’t grasp the meaning behind why you can’t see them?”

Blaise snorts and Theo looks startled.

Draco walks towards her, standing mere inches apart from her. She ignores the urge to look around, not wanting to show she cared about people seeing.

“What did you just call me?” He asks in a careful voice.

“Awfully bigoted.” She repeats and his lips turns into that condescending smile she hates with a passion. 

“Did you really come all the way over here to insult me?”

“I thought you wouldn’t hear if I shouted from all the way back,” she replies sarcastically, “you know, you probably have hearing problems with all your ego taking up space” Blaise snorts loudly.

“Virgo.” He says, and she narrows her eyes at him and takes a step closer, their feet are now touching, their noses inches apart, she can feel his breath on her face.

“Don’t you start.” She seethes.

Draco smirks and leans in impossibly closer.

“You could start a fire with the heat between you two, you know.” Blaise says and Theo snorts. Both Draco and Hermione jumps away from each other.

“Obviously it would be on her hair,” Draco replies without taking his eyes away from her and she sneers.

“You are mistaking obvious animosity for infatuated affection, Zabini.” Hermione replies, still holding Draco’s stare.

Zabini went on a fit of laughter and muttered ‘imbeciles’ under his breath.

“You did kiss me first remember Granger, so I’m tempted to believe all this infatuation is your doing.”

“You kissed me back!” She hisses, “and then it was you who kissed me in the infirmary!”

“I did that to merely shut you up.” He replies nonchalantly.

“Oh really? I happen to know more effective ways to shut one up.”

“Oh, are we on foreplay already?” Blaise laughs, Hermione blushes and finally steps back, ignoring both Blaise and Draco, she turns to Theo.

“I don’t know how you stand these two.” She says and takes two pencils out of her pocket and hands it to him, “Blaise mentioned you wanted.” She shrugs at the confused look on his face.

“Er—Thank you, Granger.”

“Oi! Where’s mine? I asked you first!” Blaise complains, she shoves one in his hand.

“You, Zabini, are awful.”

“It’s part of my charm,” he blinks at her and she grins madly, Draco makes an ‘oh-oh’ sound.

“I’m sure of it, last I heard, it worked pretty well with a certain fourth year.” 

That shuts him up, he stares at her incredulously, and mouth dropped open.

“What is she talking about?” Draco asks, Hermione smirks at him.

“I don’t have the faintest idea.” He replies in a croaked voice, Hermione laughs and turns to Draco.

“See you tomorrow?” She asks, he nods and smiles at her, the one she likes, where his eyes match his lips and he looks incredibly boyish. 

She turns around, and before she is out of ear sight, she hears Blaise, “that’s the one I was talking about, I’m calling it Granger Smile from now on—Ouch, was that really necessary?”

Hermione blushes and smiles widely at her, her heart quickening it’s pace.

 

**November 14th, 1995. Professor Merrythought Office. Day 372**

She arrives at a quarter past six and stills when she hears the soft melody of the piano, she vaguely recognizes the beginning of the Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven and Hermione groans.

The git can play the piano as well.

She opens the door and there he is, playing the piano, untouched by them until now. He has his eyes closed and Hermione stands there, by the doorway for a few minutes, perplexed. Looking at Draco, so serene and relaxed, makes it difficult for her to fit every piece of Draco she knows into one boy. She walks with unsure steps in his direction, leaving her bag on the sofa, and seats on the bench beside him.

He opens his eyes when he feels her sitting and turns to smile at her before going back to the keys, his eyes now open.

Hermione watches his fingers dance on the keyboard, watches his face contort as he reaches the third movement, his brows creases in total concentration and she hears off notes occasionally, which only makes him more frustrated and by the fourth movement he is sneering to the piano as his eyes follows his fingers. Hermione remains in silence until the piece ends.

“First Shakespeare, now Beethoven?” She asks softly.

“I think it was first Beethoven, now Shakespeare,” he replies, “my mother taught me when I was six.”

“You learned Moonlight Sonata when you were six?” She asks incredulously.

“No,” he snorts, she catches bitterness in his voice, “my mother started to teach me how to play by that age. I only learned the first movement when I was thirteen; I still struggle with the third and fourth movement. As you clearly saw.”

“Well, I thought it was very good—Come on, don’t make that face! It was! I had piano classes every day before I came to Hogwarts and even now, my parents make me do summer lessons and I still don’t know how to play Fur Elise!”

And as if it is his cue, he does the first unmistakably few notes and she shoves him playfully.

“Show off! I meant the second and third section, you git.” said that, she takes his hands away from the keys and plays herself the first section. Draco does the second section beautifully and then she does the alternation between A minor and E major and Draco does the last section with her, she is going off key most of the time, Draco snorts every time but leaves her to finish the piece once it went back to the A section.

“Not bad.” he says, with a smirk on his face.

“You are loving being better than me in something, aren’t you?” She asks with a grin.

“Please Granger, we went over this already! The only reason you are top of the class is because you are everybody’s favorite--”

“You are deluded Draco Malfoy.” She replies and promptly ignores what sounds suspiciously like Clair de Lune; clearly, she can’t compliment him without stuffing his already inflated ego. “I clearly remember we agreeing that Snape favors you.”

“That was not what happened that day.” He replies without looking up from the keys.

“Oh, would you stop already!” She snaps her hand on the keys, making an awful sound. “You are Grade 8 in piano, congratulations Malfoy!”

Draco looks at her with wide eyes and then starts to laugh at her offended expression and crossed arms. She knows she is pouting.

He laughs so hard that the boy needs to hold on the fall of the piano, so he won’t slip off from the bench. Hermione watches him laugh for a while, clearly unimpressed with Draco’s display and growing more annoyed by the second because every time he manages to stop laughing, it only takes another look at her face to set him off again.

“Are you quite finished?” She snaps again, he looks at her with shining eyes, tears on the corner of his eyes and a wide smile, which makes Hermione almost forget why she was mad at him.

She gets up from the bench and stalks over to the sofa, plopping down and ignoring him, still laughing behind her.

“Come on Granger, we can’t all be good in everything, you sure remember Divination right?” He says and she screeches, throwing pillows at him.

He starts another fit of laughter and this time she throws herself at him.

“You piece of shit! I saw you holding on Blaise’s arm yesterday at the forest! Afraid a tree would jump on you?” He tries to hold her back, but his focus is on keeping laughing at her, so his actions are half-heartedly. “When you learn how to play Rondo Alla Turco: allegretto by Mozart, you can have this awful smug smile on your face, but until then, stop being a self-centred ass!” Her hands are inches away from his face because of her attempts to smack that smug smile off him when he holds her wrists.

“Are you done?” He asks, the laughter still on his voice. 

Hermione stills, her entire body is on top of his, and she is terribly aware of the pillow between their chests and thanked the gods for that intervention, because there is nothing between their lower parts and the leg that belongs to her is in the middle of his. He’s still holding her wrists and the moment she looks at his face, she sees the smile gone. 

She nods her answer, not quite trusting her voice as the urge to kiss him overcomes her. It is worse than that first time, he has the same boyish smile, and the crinkled eyes, but this time she knows what it feels like to have his lips on hers, his hands on her waist.

Hermione fights the urge to kiss him; she doesn’t want to be rejected if he changes his mind. She knows the chances of him shoving her off him are on the plate as well.

But Hermione doesn’t need to resist for too long.

“What would you do if I kissed you right now?” He asks in a whisper, his eyes on her lips.

“I would kiss you right back.” She replies sheepishly, and Draco shortens the distance between them.

Again, the kiss is different than the previous two. There is a certainty in their movement, in Draco’s hand that now is exploring her back and sides, sends shivers down her spine.

Hermione leans down on the sofa and she vaguely notices Draco throwing the pillow that was between them away and he gasps when their chests touch. One of his hands tangles on her hair, literally, and they both laughs when he can’t pull it away.

“When I say your—" but he never gets to finish his sentence because she is kissing him again, with much more passion, both of her hands on either side of his head and Draco’s left one holding her hair away from tickling their faces and his right one, dangerously skimming over the hem of her shirt. 

They shift a little, trying to get more comfortable and she unconsciously presses on him when her thigh brushes his pelvis. A moan escapes Draco’s lips and she soon follows the sound when his hand enters her shirt and his cold palm touches her back under her clothes.

Hermione tries to blame on Draco the fact that their third kiss is quickly turning into a snogging session, but she knows it is her who is leaning back and allowing access to Draco’s hand travel on her belly. 

She grasps his shoulders when his hand cups one of her breasts over her bra and then gasps at the feeling.

“Sorry.” He mumbles, letting go of her and taking his hand out of her clothes. 

They detangle themselves and find a sitting position, she almost on his lap and his arm around her.

“We got a bit carried away,” she says, blushing, and arranging her clothes.

“A bit.” He repeats with a smirk as he straightens his pants that had gotten visibly tight.

A least none of them is running away this time.

And because Hermione’s self-control always seemed to disappear around him, she leans in again and softly pecks his lips.

“What was that for?” He asks with a sly smile and she shrugs, “well, I found that I quite like so, by all means--”

“Shut up.” She mumbles embarrassed. 

 

**November 19th, 1995. Sixth Floor Corridor. Day 377**

It takes Hermione almost a week to get around Blaise again after the class with Thestrals. Last Friday, he sat with a Ravenclaw boy and Hermione figured he was avoiding her. 

It is Monday when she finally corners him; she is on her way to Ancient Runes and she finds him a few feet ahead of her, running after him, she grabs his arm before he can enter the classroom.

“Stop running away Zabini.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Yeah, right,” she snorts, “come on, spill.” She urges.

“Why? Clearly, Weaslette told you already.”

“She didn’t give me any details, I want a full story.”

He groans, “Why?” And he tries to walk away, but Hermione is still holding onto his sleeve. “Fine! She was having another roll with that Ravenclaw boy, you know, the one she dates, and I might have mentioned something about him dumping her if she didn’t try to be a bit more girly—“

“What a stupid thing to say!”

He just rolls his eyes and continues, “and she didn’t like that, _obviously_ , so she sent the boy away, who was clearly pleased to avoid a major fight, and the girl turned to yell at me! I was only in passing! And she started her rant about how she wouldn’t change for any boy, and if they didn’t like who she was, it was their problem, because after six brothers she didn’t need a man and whatever.” Hermione feels her affection for Ginny grow and she smiles, Blaise narrows his eyes.

“Oh, go on.” She urges 

“And then I said it was her bad, because she was missing amazing material in me and obviously, I only go for perfection.” Hermione snorts. “Yeah she did the exactly same thing, thank you very much.”

“Well, you couldn’t have expected any different!”

“Whatever! So, we were arguing, she’s really feisty that one, I was glad she hadn’t taken her wand out, because I know I’d be screwed, anyway, she said I’d end up alone because I can’t marry my own ass.” Hermione snorts again. “Yeah, all very funny. And then she just waves her long red hair, and have you noticed how vivid it is? I mean, the color and all? So, I got a little lost for a while and then she was still talking but I was looking at her eyes, which are very green by the way and the way all of her is put together very nicely, by then she had slapped my face, because apparently, I said that out loud.”

“Now, you were being just plain stupid!”

“Anyway,” he continues, clearly annoyed at her interruptions, Hermione realizes then that he is in fact dying to tell his tale. “She slapped me and then started to say that I was extremely cocky and full of myself and, her words, just because I was very god-like I thought I could say that stuff and, her words again, it didn’t matter how green my eyes were and how dark and sharp my features were that she would never lower to my level!” He says all of that very angrily and Hermione suppresses a laugh, “by then, I swear I didn’t know how it happened, but we were very close, I mean, very close, and I could smell her and it was like roses and when I realized we were kissing! I swear Granger, I have no idea who leaned in first!”

“I don’t think it matter anyway.”

“Yeah, probably… But anyway, let me finish, after that very much heated kiss, with lots of hands and lots of tongue, she slaps me again! The nerve that girl has! And then she calls me a brute and that if I ever do that again she’d hex my balls off! Like I’d want to kiss her again! Not saying it was me that started it, because obviously it wasn’t! She’s crazy, that one! I’m telling you!”

Hermione is laughing now, unable to hold it together anymore and he sneers at her and turns away, entering the classroom. She follows him, still laughing.


	17. Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii  
> I'm sorry for the late update!! it was ready to be published on Friday but then I remembered today is Father's Day in my country and I hadn't bought him anything so I had to find something last minute.   
> Thanks again for all the support and the lovely comments you guys have been leaving in this work. It means a lot

**October 5th, 2003. Malfoy Manor. Day 5447.**

Draco throws a chair on one of the bookshelves and the books falls with a loud bang, not satisfied, he turns over the small table with all of its contents to the floor. One of his grandfather portraits is now on the floor. He points his wand to one of the leather sofas and in seconds they are teared open, the cotton inside all over it.

He turns to the books, as it their mere presence is offending to him, he removes one from his place but stops in mid throw because Hermione would throw a fit if he did that with the books. He carefully puts them in place, leaves the Sitting Room and marches to the Music Room. 

Draco doesn’t waste time in opening the door, he blasts it open, and his next target is the lyre, he turns to the piano—

“If you keep on this rhythm there won’t be any rooms intact in this house by the end of the week.” He hears his Father’s calm and cold voice and turns around to find him standing by the doorway, arms crossed and tight lips.

“See if I care.” He replies, the anger he felt in his body now visible in his voice.

“I believe it’s clear that you don’t. But your mother’s Morning Room is the next, and she’d be extremely upset if you destroyed her windows or her precious chandelier, that’s in her family for centuries, in your destructive rampage.”

Draco scowls, but waved his wand. “Reparo!” And the lyre is back intact, same with the door.

“Not that you obviously care, but I casted a Muffiato on this wing after the first piece of furniture exploded, so you don’t scare your son.” Draco looks down embarrassed, the last thing he need is Caelum seeing his tantrum. “May I know the reason behind this extremely unpleasant behavior?”

“Cassiopeia Malfoy.” Explains Draco, his eyes now full of tears.

He had stayed the entire night with Hermione and watched over her as she slept, he would have stayed more if it wasn’t for his classes and because Blaise assured him she wouldn’t wake up again for at least two more days. She is now nearing twenty different potions a day. He only left after entering her sleepy mind and seeing that entire day. 

Repeatedly.

Seeing his daughter.

Since Draco couldn’t vent his frustration by destroying his classroom, he came home and after crossing the foyer, went straight to the Drawing Room where something in him snapped. It was where the whole ordeal had happened, it didn’t matter that his mother had redecorated the entire place afterwards, he still could see everything that had happened in that place clearly, so he started to destroy it, to burn everything that his wreckage of Aunt had touched.

“I don’t understand.” His father says and Draco resists to bark a mad laugh. Sometimes, he feels the Black curse is too real.

“I was supposed to have a daughter. Caelum was supposed to have a twin sister.” He explains angrily, his hands in fists, he still wants to break something. “She didn’t survive Bellatrix torture.” 

His Father remain silent, Draco can see the shock in his features and then, slowly, changing into sadness, grief and finally, into anger. It is his Father who explodes the piano.

Draco watches him sit a one of the chairs, hold his head with his hands, curse lowly and them look back at him with a dead expression.

“Explain.”

And Draco complies. He tell his father what he saw in Hermione’s memory and the same story she told him, about how she received the curse, how she was hugging Caelum when Fleur tried to deliver her, how she waited for Caelum to give his first cry before closing her eyes for the first and last time.

“Can I—can I see her?” He asks, his voice full of emotion in a way Draco never heard before.

“You mean, her grave?” 

“No. Not now anyway. The memory. Can you show me?” Draco nods, walks to his father and kneels in front of him. He put his hands on each side of his father temple and shows him the memory.

Incredibly small Cassiopeia, in a bundle of covers, blood still smeared on her, with light feathery blonde hair and big grey eyes, which, looked at Hermione in expectancy. The memory is not even a minute long, because they soon heard Caelum’s cry and saw Fleur giving the small, crying boy, to Hermione and then the baby girl looked at her brother, at Hermione, sighed, and closed her eyes. 

He stops there, because he doesn't think his father would like to see Hermione’s heart-breaking scandal.

“How was she?” Lucius asks, Draco stares at him confused, “Miss Granger.” He even manages not to cringe, and Draco knows his father is experiencing a new wave of respect for her.

“When I arrived, she believed we were back in sixth year, we had an entire conversation about how dangerous was for me to be sneaking in her dorm room with her friends sleeping there. And then she was back, we used a Portkey to Cassie’s grave and she completely broke down.”

“I imagine you tortured yourself with her memories.” His father says, Draco doesn’t reply. “It wasn’t your fault Draco, you fought for her that day, you did everything you could.”

“It wasn’t enough.”

“It never is. But Draco, you’ve been crying for forgiveness your entire life. But you don’t need forgiveness, you found your redemption son. There’s a reason why you let Miss Granger go all these years and there’s a reason why you never tried to get her back, and Draco, they aren’t the same.”

“You don’t know what you are talking about.” He says in gritted teeth. Suddenly he preferred his father not talking about Hermione.

“You do deserve her Draco. You deserve happiness and you deserve a family with her.” Draco stares at his father, mouth agape. “Don’t look at me like that. If I hear your mother bad-mouthing Miss Greengrass once more, I will personally remove her from the house.”

Draco almost smiles at that, he knows it isn't about Astoria at all, but there's still a long way to go for his father to acknowledge that.

 

**October 7th, 2003. Potions Classroom. Day 5449.**

Hermione is still asleep, he had visited her yesterday and Potter had told him this evening when he arrived after work. 

They work in silence; the only sound is the stirring in the cauldrons and the chopping of ingredients.

Draco and Theo shares Draco’s table, Daphne and Pansy are where the Slytherin used to sit and Potter and Weasley are on the other side.

All of them are batching a different potion, with little divergence between them; they struggle to find the exact ingredients, and basically try the different ingredients from various antidotes and anything with restorative properties. But the most difficult thing, by far, is to handle the contents in the jar from the Love Chamber, not to mention it had to be kept hidden from view, because it kept attracting them to it.

“Nott, Asphodel is used in the Draught of Living Death, we want to keep her alive, remember?” Potter calls and Draco looks up from his work and sees Daph nodding and throwing it away. 

“Pansy is that Unicorn Blood on your hand?” Draco asks skeptical, “if you even think in using that I will pour it myself down your throat.” He warns and she hastily puts it back down.

“You could try Unicorn horn Parkinson, it has purification properties and dissolve poisons.” Potter said, much more civilized than the first few times they worked together, she nods and tried that.

“Dragon’s blood has restorative properties too, right?” Theo asks and they all nod. Between them had four Outstanding N.E.W.Ts in Potions, as Weasley hadn’t taken his and Daphne received an Exceeds Expectations.

They all keep trying; Theo is adding more ingredients with restorative properties and antidotes to a Draught of Peace. 

“What do you think it happens if we take the hellebore syrup out?” Draco asks.

“It’s probably a good idea, because it can cause cardiac arrest and in legend is known for summoning demons.”

“Ok. It’s out.”

“But it can also cure insanity and paralysis.”

“It stays then, but please be careful with quantities.” He says and everyone pretend to miss the pleading, verging desperate tone on his voice.

A few minutes later, Narcissa walks in with a stack of books her hand.

“Your father found Severus’ old books from Hogwarts in his room at the Manor. He asked me to bring these to you.” She says, and hands a couple to each of them.

Potter stares at Narcissa dumbfound.

“And Headmistress McGonagall?” Draco asks

“I just left her office, it’s all in here, he had a few books of his in the school supplies.” Narcissa explains and gives a pointed look to Potter, Draco had told his mother once about how Potter was using one in sixth year.

“Thanks Mother.”

She nods, “Good work. Nice seeing you Miss Nott and Miss Parkinson.” she greets, before leaving. 

They all resume their work, Draco can feel every now and then, Potter’s eyes on him and he tries to ignore as he powders Moonstone. By the time he is done and is taking the juice off a Boom Berry, he can't ignore anymore.

“Yes Potter, my father is helping. No, he doesn’t want her dead, nor hates Granger.” He says impatiently and Theo snorts, Pansy smirks at Potter, who is now embarrassed, even Weasley finds it amusing. Draco decides he likes this Weasley.

“Sorry. Everything is still a little weird.”

“Communication is the key for a relationship Potter, try talking with Granger about us. It will save you from another embarrassing reaction.” He sneers and Pansy, is full on laughing now.

He remembers Potter’s reaction to Pansy barging in crying and screaming at Draco, and it was hilarious, to say the least.

Potter scowls at him.

“Guys, I’ve just read in here that Dittany has other healing properties than making fresh skin grow.” Daphne says and then read the passage of the book that explained how to treat the plant in order to extract the right property. 

“I have Dittany in here, can I have the book, so I can try?” Weasley asks and Daphne nods, Levitating the book, she puts it on his table. The ginger drops the Billiwig Sting he was using and went straight to work.

They are getting somewhere, Draco knows that, they often exchanged their work with the Healers in St. Mungo’s and they are closer, the Healers always said, one of their work was now being used on Hermione and most of the time the potions they created, after dozen of tests, were used to other patients in cases less severe than Hermione’s.

They were close.

It was a little over midnight when they called it a day. Or night. Theo, Pansy and Potter all worked full-time in the ministry, coming over after work. Weasley was the one that spent more time in here--after Draco of course, he wasn’t working at the shop for the time being, only stopping by occasionally to check on things, it was Lee Jordan and Seamus Finnegan who were taking care of the shop.

George stayed behind to help Draco put the Bezoars away and the unused Chizpurfle Carapace back in jars.

“Your family never quite forgave her for being with me, right?” Draco asks and he’s surprised with how his voice hadn’t a judging tone to it. 

It is probably why Weasley decides to answer him.

“It wasn’t like that. Mum and Ginny were mad for a long time, the others didn’t care, I mean, Ron aside. The problem, wasn’t they being mad at her, was that after that, they pretended it didn’t happen.

‘Ginny was extremely hurt Hermione kept that from her, they were like sisters and it was years before Hermione told her anything. She told me first.”

Draco nods, “and your brother?”

George shakes his head, “Ron is—he loves her so much, and he had put on his head that you and Hermione were only a one-night stand—I know,” he says after noticing the insulted look on Draco’s face, “I tried, countless time, put some sense in his head, but he wouldn’t give, he can be quick thick sometimes.

‘But we all loved her, Mum, Ginny, they never stopped loving her, they did treat her differently than Harry, she was less family than him, especially when her and Ron were at odds, but we never mistreated her because of you.”

“But you didn’t spare snide remarks because of me either, right?”

“No.” George sighs, clearly ashamed, “Ron and Ginny, even I sometimes, we would say something like ‘don’t be a Malfoy’ or ‘stopping pulling a Malfoy on me’ and it’s not pretty, she literally flinches and she hates it, I mean, I’d hate too, I hated when you said stuff about my family, I know, Merlin I know, how awful it must be for her to hear it, it’s her son.

‘And then had the whole ordeal about Ginny not wanting Teddy around Caelum and how mean is that? He’s a kid! Thankfully Bill and Fleur are amazing and often invite him to play with Victoire. She glows when she can see him with us and the kids.”

“They treat him poorly?” He asks in gritted teeth.

“Not anymore, because she stopped taking him to The Burrow the moment he was old enough to understand. It was neglect; it was Hermione not wanting to be with Ron, it was her falling apart way too many times and her snapping at us for the things we said.”

“Old prejudices are hard to die.” Draco says, because George is a good person and doesn’t deserve the piece of mind Draco is dying to give.

“Yeah and no offense mate, but if your father accepted her and Caelum, the rest of my family will come around.”

 

**October 10th, 2003. St. Mungo’s. Day 5452**

The first thing she notices when she wakes is that she is alone on the bed; the second is the new batch of potions on her bedside table.

She notices her calendar missing, looks around the room and her eyes finally stop on Ginny, who is sitting on one of the chairs and is holding said calendar on her hands.

“I need to give it to Blaise, he adores you.” She says, after getting caught.

“I was Theo’s idea.” She says, Hermione is still a lit bit wary towards the redhead, she remembered vividly the last time they saw each other.

“Oh.” Ginny replies uncomfortably, “anyway, I have something for you. It’s from Mum.” She says and gets up from the chair she was sitting and with unsure steps, walks to Hermione, “With the attacks, I think she was prepared for something to happen, so she wrote a letter to all of us before she—anyway, it’s for you.” Ginny finishes hastily and hands the letter to Hermione.

_Dear Hermione,_  
I really wish to say these things I’m writing in person, because you deserve a throughout explanation. I’m stopping by for a visit as soon as I can.  
But this clock is pointing to Mortal Peril for days now and it’s better to be safe than sorry. 

_First of all, I’d like to apologize. I’m sorry for ever making you feel less than part of this family, I’m sorry I wasn’t the mother I promised you I’d be, I’m sorry I couldn’t see past old prejudice and family grudge to understand and respect your suffering. But most of all, I’m sorry for blaming a child for his grandparents’ mistakes; I should have never tried to deprive you of your right to be a mother. I know what’s like to grieve a son and I’m terribly sorry I let it consume you the way it did. I will never forgive myself for that._

_From what I’ve learned from George, Bill and Harry, Caelum is a brilliant boy and I’m happy to know that._

_Secondly, I’m sorry for not forgiving you for falling in love with a Malfoy instead of my son, I’m sorry for holding a grudge for all these years. I shouldn’t have blamed you because of matters of the heart. I only wanted my youngest son to be happy after all that suffering, and I know he wanted it to be with you, so I wanted it as well. I’m sorry for all that I put you through because of that, I’m sorry for the comments you had to hear about the man you love and the father of your child, I’m sorry for not being understanding._

_And lastly, I know I’m in no position to ask something from you but please forgive Ginny. She misses her sister and she’s too proud to ever say it, too feisty to admit it.  
Hermione, I have no doubts whatsoever that you are going to pull through this. And when you do Hermione, please, do this other favor for me: stop living to please the others. You deserve happiness as well. You are so bright Hermione and once you were full of life. I love my son immensely and I appreciate how you tried to make him happy all these years, but it’s time to put yourself first, child._

_Whatever the war took from you that stripped you bare, that left you broken beyond repair, that made you think you don’t deserve to be happy, it’s not permanent, it’s not the truth. I know, just as you know, where you can find it again, but for this, please darling, remember you deserve to be happy.  
With all my love,_

_Molly Weasley._

 

Hermione has tears in her eyes and hear heart aches terribly; Molly words are like a shower that washed over her, making her feel better and Hermione realizes how much she needed those words, how much she needed her apology. Along the letter Ginny had given her, there was a small green sweater, with a golden C in the middle; Hermione hugs that piece of clothing as if it was Molly. 

“I came to apologize as well,” Ginny says, her eyes red with tears as well, “it wasn’t fair the things I said—I was upset, mum had just died and Zabini knows how to get in my nerves and then everything you said to Ron, I just—“

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Oh, I know.” She sighs, “I never saw Harry so mad, we fought terribly because of you, I understand my mistakes and I Hermione, you weren’t at fault.”

“But I was Ginny—"

“I need to explain Hermione. I need to—I have years worth of apologies, so please, let me.” Hermione just nods. “I think I always knew, you know? I had my suspicious, because suddenly you were friends with half of Malfoy’s gang and by the end of your fifth year, I could always see you with at least one of them and I wondered, how Malfoy was okay with that?

‘And he was never with you when the others were, but neither was Parkinson and I knew she too was friends with you, so I had that sinking feeling that he didn’t care, because he, just like her, was friends with you too. But he preferred to be alone with you, didn’t he?”

“When we started talking, it was November ’94—"

“What?” She asks, astonished.

“Yeah, I was trying to avoid Viktor, he kept lurking in the library and his fans were noisy and then I went to Draco for help—of course he ignored me at first, but then he also became irritated with Viktor’s fans so we kind of started studying together. Viktor wouldn’t approach because he didn’t like Draco—"

“You were friends since then?”

“Well, no exactly, we only became friendly after the Yule Ball—but anyways, we hung in the library back then, we were still to wary of the other and we always ended up yelling at each other. It was by June when I found Slughorn office and it wasn’t being used at the time, so we started to study there.”

Ginny nods, “the others went there as well?”

“Yes, but basically was just Draco and I, we did hang a lot at the boys’ dormitory, that was where Pansy was the most.”

“I started suspecting about the two of you a little after the winter holidays on your fifth year, when you were all loved up and giggling by yourself. It was the same time Zabini Incident number 2 happened and he said something along the lines of Gryffindor girls and Slytherin boys, and I just had a feeling it was about you.

‘I remember hinting at it, at the two of you, you’d always shut it down saying I was out of it. And then there was sixth year and you were a mess, Malfoy was a mess, the Slytherin were all ignoring you and each other, you snapped at Ron at everything and you still denied everything, we couldn’t mention his name without you throwing a fit.

‘And then there was that day at the bathroom, where you were crying and Parkinson and Greengrass were with you, playing doll and I was so mad, so angry that whatever was troubling you, you chose to confide to them. To that Parkinson cow and that love-is-a-fairy-tale-Greengrass, when I confided you everything. You were the person I always told everything first and I was so mad you chose them, you didn’t trust me enough to tell about Malfoy.”

“Ginny, I—“

“No, let me finish, please.” She asks, her voice isn’t angry, but calm and reminiscent. “I was jealous, but I let it be, because I thought, well, you would say something eventually, you just wasn’t ready.

‘But then, after the war, you and the Slytherins were a close unit, the 8th year had a tower of their own, and suddenly you were spending every second with them, even after that stunt Parkinson pulled to try to give Harry to Voldemort. I caught you crying so many times Hermione and every time, one of them was around. 

‘If that wasn’t enough, when they were caught, I not only find out you were indeed together, but you and Malfoy had had a kid! Caelum was three when you told me! I mean, not even that you did! George told us, because apparently, he, Bill, and Harry knew everything about him! You have any idea how I felt after that? Knowing you had kept your first child a secret for three years? I waited years for you to come clean, but you never did.”

“I’m sorry Ginny.”

“No, Hermione, I am. Because you were broken; after the war you became a shell of yourself and I resented you for that, I was mad that you, who were always composed and controlled, able to keep calm in the middle of all the mess, had lost it. I only thought about how I felt for all these years, I never thought how you felt about loving him and having to let him go, having to give Caelum up so they wouldn’t target him or you, having to keep his existence a secret because still to this day isn’t safe even for a half-blood, to have Malfoy in his last name.

‘I always blamed you for not telling me things when I never said one good thing about that family and how could you open up to me when I couldn’t find in me to sympathize with Malfoy? Of course, you’d bond with the Slytherins, they were his friends, they knew him, they would understand.

‘I took my brother side, I hated Malfoy, I hated he wasn’t your Zabini Incident, but most of all, I hated that I couldn’t forgive you for petty jealousy, for not telling me. And that’s why I need to apologize Hermione, for making your whole life about me, for putting how I felt before your feelings.”

“I should have told you, I wanted to, so many times Ginny, but—I was terrified you would tell Harry or Ron and what they’d do. Harry was obsessed with Draco in Sixth Year and I had noticed Ron’s feelings for me, I just couldn’t think of a single possible good outcome. I was scared that none of you would understand when all of his friends had. Our fifth and sixth year, the boys were so prejudiced towards them, that I was afraid of what they might say to me, I mean, I was terrified myself for falling in love with him, I knew it was trouble.”

“I guess we were all in the wrong.” Ginny says, Hermione nods. “Harry says they are all helping, all of them, even Malfoy’s father, and that’s more than I can say for my family anyway.”

“It’s not a competition Gin,”

“I know. You are a Malfoy through and through.” Ginny says, Hermione notices a hint of bitterness in her tone. “Harry told me how the Malfoys managed to keep on the run for so long and it was a lot of cunning from your part.”

“I did that for—"

“Them. It was for all of them. We could’ve hidden a baby, but not a family.” Ginny says and gets up from the end of her bed, “we might not look like one, but we are a pureblood family for generations and I know it’s a Malfoy heirloom you’ve been carrying on your neck for almost eight years. That necklace never opened after he put it on, right?” Hermione just nods and Ginny smiles sadly, “I figured. And it’s not going to you know, as long as you are loyal to the Malfoy family, it will stay on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update comes on Fridays! please leave a comment and make the author happy, I love reading every single one of them and I try my best to reply to them!!


	18. Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY  
> really, I really am. no excuses, I was simply busy with things because I'm going on vacation soon and things are a mess.
> 
> Again. Thank you so much for all the lovely comments!! I really love reading all of them.

**November 24th 1995. Great Hall. Day 382**

The avalanche of homework they were given was absurd as they approached December, and it seemed to match the heavy snow that had fallen on the last couple of weeks. They all avoided being outside the castle during breaks and weekends as their feet sank into the snow and it was tiresome getting to Hagrid’s Hut for the Care of Magical Creatures classes.

The weather was so bad that the majority of the fifth-year students were studying or doing homework inside the Great Hall on a Saturday. The staff had put a big ball of fire inside of what looked like a giant floating fish bowl on the middle of the Hall and the students, ignoring their House Tables all squashed together in the ones in the middle, enjoying the warmth. 

Daphne Greengrass is sitting three people away from Hermione, with two others Slytherin girls that Hermione assumes is Millicent Bulstrode and Tracey Davis. Hermione notices the Slytherin girl drawing on her sketchbook with the pencil she had given Theo and smiles, the Slytherin girl had liked her new gift. And by the looks of it, she is drawing clothes that have a noticeable resemblance with Muggle formal dresses.

And again she thinks back to what Blaise said that very first day at Ancient Runes about her being prejudiced. Those lines come back to her from time to time every time she does something that proves him right. It's disturbing the amount of times she had caught her tongue when Luna said something.

Same thing with Daphne, she had always associated the girl with Parkinson and then looked down and judged her the same way she did with Parkinson but watching the girl with dirty-blonde hair and blue eyes, she notices how wrong she is. Suddenly Hermione feels very ashamed of herself and without second thought, starts to write a letter.

_Dear Mum and Dad,_  
I hope the two of you are doing fine! Everything is okay here in the castle. This year is by far the hardest, the amount of homework is more than even I could’ve expected.  
I’m writing because I’ve started with the Christmas shopping and there’s something I’d like to give to a friend of mine that’s only available in London. I have money in my room at home and I think it will cover it.  
Could you please buy one tin set of 120 Faber Castell Polychromous coloured pencils for me and send it back by the school’s owl? I will give it instructions to wait for the reply.  
Love you both,  
Hermione. 

Rolling up the letter, she pockets it to later send it and resumes her homework and trying to not think about how many people her perception is wrong and nothing more than prejudiced stereotypes.

**November 29th, 1995. Professor Merrythought Office. Day 389**

She is already there when Draco arrives, and he merely raises one eyebrow at the sight of her knitting as he plops down next to her, his legs on the arm of the sofa and his shoulder touching hers.

“What are these supposed to look like?” He asks, holding one of her hats warily and she snatched it back from him.

“House-Elves hats. With all that Prefect duty going on, watching over the Christmas Trees as if they are going to disappear? And those ridiculous patrols with Filch that is nothing but a loss of time! Watching over first and second years when they are inside the castle, I mean, what can they possible do? Levitate their books? And I wonder, where am I supposed to find time to study on top of that? Do they forget we are O.W.L.S students now? I haven’t even started to make my study plan and—" she stops talking because suddenly Draco’s mouth is on her throat, kissing the way from her jawline to where the collar of her shirt met her skin.

“Oh, no, please go on.” He mutters on her neck and she shivers at the feel of his breath on her skin.

Their occasional kissing wasn’t so occasional anymore, as they grew more and more frequent. There wasn't a single day that went by without being pulled under some tapestry or empty classroom for a snog. Not that she is complaining.

But their rounds are getting suspiciously long as every few steps they seem to fall on each other’s arm. 

Hermione is even beginning to get bold enough to do a bit of the pulling around herself.

“As I was saying,” she starts again when he still hadn’t resumed his trail of kisses, and as if he was just waiting for her to speak again, he starts kissing her again, “I barely have any free time and it’s so cold inside the castle and all these Elves that still need to be freed—"

“They don’t want to be set free.” He mutters on her cheek, as his kisses gets higher.

“—I have only three left, so I need to hurry and make as many as I can before the break—”

“That’s why they look like—"

“If you want to get a kiss at all you better not finish your sentence.”

He sighs and leans back, resting an arm in the back of the sofa, “they aren’t being set free Granger, Dobby is picking them all up.”

“What are you talking about?” She asks and finally draws the attention away from the knitting.

“I went in the Kitchens the other day, he’s wearing all of them, one on top of the other. Apparently he’s the only elf cleaning up the Gryffindor Common Room, because the other elves got offended when they found the Hats around and stopped going.”

“No!” She says and ridiculously, her eyes fills with tears, “Poor Dobby is doing all the cleaning in the Gryffindor Tower?” Draco looks at her with an amused expression. 

“Granger, they don’t want to be tricked into getting the hats because they don’t want to be freed.”

“But—"

“We talked about this already, remember? Save your bleeding activist heart for the ones that are being mistreated Granger, not for Hogwarts’s elves.”

“Yeah, but—"

“You are forcing hundreds of House-Elves into something you don’t know they want. S.P.E.W is a brilliant idea but Granger you can’t make them agree with you even if you are thinking about their welfare. I mean, ok, they should have the option to get paid, but only if they want, the same with clothes, have the option to use proper clothes, but again, only if they want to.

‘Some elves embrace the culture and serve because it’s tradition and they feel honored to serve the family their ancestors served, because it brings purpose to their lives and they are happy to do it with only that as payment. And then, there are the ones like Dobby, who loves to work and help, but he doesn’t agree with the culture and recognize he has a right to get recompensed for his work, or to leave if he’s not being well treated or recognized.”

She remains silent for a while, thinking back on her hats and all the times she mentioned they were being picked, how Harry and Ron would look away and try to change the subject. They knew. Harry and Ron knew they weren’t being free and hadn’t told her.

Hermione never felt stupider. 

“Come on, don’t cry Granger, I wasn’t being mean this time!”

“Who else knows they aren’t being picked up?” She asks in a low voice.

She sees him hesitating and her shoulders slouches crestfallen.

“No one had the heart to tell you. Even us, in Slytherin, Pansy said the idea has well-meaning potential but was being approached in the wrong way.”

“Well, I’m glad Parkinson sees potential in my organization and—"

“Now, now Granger,” he chuckles and picks the forgotten knitting needles and wool from her lap and pulls the girl on his lap, “she said very nice things, even I was impressed—No, there’s no need for that face—Let’s drop it now, ok?” She just nods.

Draco strokes her cheeks and she wraps her hands around his neck, her fingers tangling on his hair as she leans in and rest her lips on top of his.

He sighs and she can’t contain the smile that forms on her lips, Hermione is growing very fond of the reactions she gets from him. Draco might had read her mind because he scowls and pushes her towards him, kissing the smile away from her face and soon enough, all thoughts of S.P.E.W are out of their minds as they explore once more each other’s mouth and their hands travel up and down their bodies.

Hermione doesn't gasp or flinch when his hands skirts under her shirt and grips her waist, instead, she kisses him harder and drops her hands from his hair to his chest and unfastens his tie. He smirks on her lips and she bites his lips playfully.

“Shut up.” She mutters without pulling away, he laughs, and she swallows the sound, finishing the job of getting his tie away from him. 

He helps her, shoving it off his head and throwing it behind the sofa, she chuckles and with shaking fingers, unbuttons his shirt. Hermione shrugs off her cloak, letting if fall on the floor behind her and presses her front on him. Suddenly every space between then is an affront to Hermione and she wants to be as close as possible and Draco, seems to share the feeling because he pulls her impossibly closer.

His lips leave her mouth and resume the trail he did earlier and Hermione arches her back when his lips brush her collarbone, she can feel his smirk on her skin when he notices she is sensitive there. Hermione’s red and golden tie soon finds Draco’s on the floor and he unbuttons the first two buttons of her shirt, she notices him licking his lips at the sight of her exposed breasts and blushes.

Draco kisses every bit of skin he can put his lips on and she bites her lips to suppress a groan when he licks and bites the top of her breasts. She pulls his face back up and smacks her lips on his, kissing him hungrily.

With a strength and agility only lots of Quidditch can provide, he turns them around and lays her on the sofa, positioning himself on top of her, being careful not to rest much of his weight on top of her. Enjoying this new position, Hermione hands explore the territory of his broad shoulders and back and smirks when he shivers as she trails the extension of his spine with her nails.

“Shut up.” He mutters, and she laughs breathlessly as he kisses and sucks on her throat.

Her legs wrap around his waist and they both groan deliciously as their pelvis press together.

His hands are now undoing the third and fourth button of her shirt and she is struggling to breath because with every new inch of exposed skin, Draco leaves a trail of kisses and little bites on her chest and breasts.

“Draco—" She pants, and he looks up, his grey eyes darkened in lust and air gets caught on her throat with the way he is looking at her. 

The moment Draco opens his mouth to reply, the bell rings somewhere from the castle and they both groan frustrated. Not to mention extremely flustered.

Draco, professing a series of curses, drops himself on top of her; she chuckles and run her fingers on his messy hair in a way to calm both of them, as her hammering heart matches his.

“What do we have now?” He asks, his face hidden in the curve of her neck and shoulder.

“Double Potions.” She replies and he groans loudly.

“Please, can we skive?” He mutters while kissing her neck softly.

“No.” And half-heartedly, tries to push Draco away from her. He sighs and gives her one last, searing kiss that has her toes curving in pleasure.

“Are you sure?” He asks smugly, she narrows her eyes at him and more firmly, pushes him off.

“Go away.” She says but she can’t keep a straight face for long. “We are going to be late.” She says, after glancing at the clock and hurrying to straighten her clothes and grabbing her stuff.

“See you there.” He says, she looks back to find him sprawled on the sofa, carelessly buttoning his shirt, she raises an eyebrow in question, “not all of us can hide our arousal Granger.” she blushes violently when she notices the bulge on his pants.

Draco barks out a laugh as she hurries out of there.

**November 29th, 1995. Potions Classroom. Day 389**

She arrives in the dungeons with seconds to spare, Professor Snape raises an eyebrow at the sight of her. She blushes and hastily closes her cloak because she notices she had buttoned her shirt wrong in the haste to leave.

Harry and Ron are in a table with Neville, so the only empty sits are with the Slytherins. Hermione walks quickly to the table where Blaise is with Theo.

“Geez Granger, did you walk into a tornado?” Blaise whispers, his voice full of mirth.

“No.”

“Let me guess, blond, drop dead gorgeous, utterly rich and extremely annoying?”

She doesn’t waste time being scandalized, growing accustomed with his antics far too quickly. “Spot on.” She replies and the dark-skinned boy barks out a laugh.

“Why Granger, I love what Slytherin is doing to you?” He asks and Theo laughs along. Professor Snape drops two empty vials on the floor, catching the attention from the entire classroom and Hermione shrinks in her spot when she notices that he is looking at her.

At the same moment, Draco walks in and she groans after noticing he hadn’t groomed his hair or cared to button all the way up or even put his tie back on. Blaise is having a hard time in refraining from laughing. 

“Does the pair of you need help in buttoning shirts?” Blaise asks and she steps on his foot.

Picking the ingredients necessary from the cupboard and opening the book on the page explaining how to brew an Invigoration Draught, she sets to work. After a while, Blaise stops making comments and the pair starts a discussion on what to give Daphne and Pansy for Christmas. The colored pencil tin on her bag lets her know Hermione she still has to give it to Theo.

**December 15th, 1995. Library. Day 405**

“Theo! I’m glad I found you, I was afraid I wouldn’t catch you alone before the train” Hermione says when she arrives at the corner Theo is sitting.

He looks up startled and crunches his brows in confusion. Hermione can understand, she only talks with Theo when Blaise is around and that is Potions and Hagrid’s classes. He is in Arithmancy with her and Draco, but the pair stuck together while she partners up with Padma.

“Mind if I sit?” She asks and he nods, “this will sound weird, but it’s basically Blaise’s fault,” she says and pulls the tin of colored pencils out of her bag, his eyes widening in awe. “You know how the prat keeps educating me to don’t be prejudiced, right?” She asks and Theo nods, now with a small grin on his face.

“This is you feeling guilty.” He says and she nods, a little bit embarrassed. 

“I saw Daphne the other day drawing, it was amazing, and she was drawing muggle dresses and I kind of felt horrible because until then I had only thought of her like another Pansy—which is also terrible because Draco says she’s not bad and I don’t know her, anyway, I generalize. A lot. And I didn’t think very highly of her and Blaise keeps giving me shit because of it and I am trying to redeem myself.”

“So, you bought her a present?”

“Yes. I figured she might like, it’s way better than using crayons or those colored quills. But I am giving to you so you can give to her, you don’t even need to tell her it’s from me, because I reckon it will be weird.”

“Ok… Thanks Granger, I really appreciate and I’m sure she will love it.”

“No problem.”

“And Granger? Ignore Blaise. You aren’t prejudiced, there’s a difference between prejudice and making generalization and creating stereotypes. We all stereotypy the ones we don’t know, we create associations, so we can understand because the human being can’t live with the unknown, we fear it. It’s okay to categorize, the problem is when you start living by your beliefs and want others to believe in them as well, when you force what you believe in others and choose to don’t listen to reason.”

Hermione falls silent; amazed at what he said and knowing he is right. She remembers what Blaise told her, more than a month ago now, about his father and how Theo was afraid of him. Hermione wonders if it was why he was this way, because of his father. Draco’s father was no good, but he wasn’t a monster either, and by the way Blaise spoke, she wondered if Theo’s father was a monster and if it was because of him that Theo was quiet and a little lonely, preferring to stay out of things than to pick sides, because he knew how it really was.

“Blaise told me about you.” She says quietly and Theo smiles sadly,

“He mentioned my father, I assume?” She nods, “Blaise doesn’t understand, for a pure-blood he’s as good as a half-blood. He’s not part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight, his father wasn’t mates with the Dark Lord at school, he’s doesn’t know what is like. He’s angry because of what happens if our parents marry, that is, if Mrs. Zabini doesn’t end him in record time.”

“Your father was a friend—"

“No, because the Dark lord doesn’t have friends, he has followers. But yes, they studied together. I grew up listening to tales of their great adventures during school and how extraordinaire wizard he is and how I own my life to him.” He spats, it is the first time she has seen him angry, his usual neutral face is rigid, and she thinks she sees a dark glint on his eyes.

“Your father sounds like a right prat.” She says, short of other things to say.

Theo snorts, “sounds about right.” 

And that's it, they smile at each other and then Theo resumes his History Of Magic essay.

**December 20th, 1995. Hogwarts Express. Day 410**

“Granger, hello.” Blaise greets and then turns to Neville and Luna with a scowl, “would you two mind leaving us alone for a bit? I have some private business with Granger here.” He says everything all very slowly with lots of pointing and mimics and Hermione rolls her eyes at his ridiculousness.

“Why do you think we can’t understand English?” Luna asks in her dreamingly voice, “there’s something wrong with you?” She asks, honestly confused and even a bit worried, Hermione snorts and had to stifle a giggle.

“Leave. Now.” He says, rushed this time and seizes Neville by his robes and throws him out of the compartment.

“Hey! What’s your problem Blaise?” She asks angrily and gets up, taking Blaise hands off Neville and pushing Blaise out of the way for Luna to pass, “You really are a brute!”

When the two are alone, it doesn’t take more than two seconds for the door to open again and Draco walk in. Hermione scowls and rolls her eyes, Blaise smirks and with an awful wink, leaves the compartment.

Draco pulls down the drapery and locks the door. Hermione raises an eyebrow at him in question.

“How are you?” He asks worried and she sighs, sitting back.

“Worried. I don’t know what happened and Professor McGonagall was very vague about it all.”

“I’m sure he will be ok.” Draco says, and Hermione can’t help the angry look she shots at him.

“I wished I didn’t know how you know what I’m talking about.”

“My father is a very well-connected man.”

“Fuck you!” She says angrily, “you can’t come in here pretend to care about Mr. Weasley and then say stuff like that! Like you knew all along that it would happen!”

“I don’t care about that joke of a wizard—"

“For gods sake Draco! He almost died! And you knew! You knew and you didn’t say shit about it when you know they mean a lot to me!” She shrieks, standing up again and waving her hands frenetically in front of him.

“But I care about you! And that’s why I’m here right now, because I know how you feel about him, and I want to know how are you!” He is standing too, his face red, Hermione doesn’t know it is from anger or if he was blushing.

“Well I’m glad! Does that mean I will have a warning first before something happens to me or you will just leave a note?”

“Of course, you’d get a sodding warning first!” He explodes, and her eyes widen.

“You are joking, right?” She asks, her voice low and a little bit tremulous.

“No, Granger. I would do anything in my power to not put you in danger if I knew first.”

“What about my friends?” She asks with narrowed eyes.

Draco hesitates, she is about to open her mouth to protest when he grabs her hand. The words die on her tongue.

“I’m not that changed yet. Half decent remember? But if you hang around, who knows, I might even be saving him someday.” 

She shakes her head annoyed and he pulls her closer. The hand not holding hers is on the end of her curls.

“That’s not how it works.” She says, her voice almost a whisper.

He shrugs.

“Was your father there?” She asks, uncertain.

“No.” 

She hums and put her arms around his shoulder, he uses the opportunity to kiss her lips.

“I not writing my name on the card for your Christmas present, but it’s wrapped in red and golden, I’m sure you will not mistake it for someone’s else.” She says, a hint of joke in her voice.

“Such horrid colors don’t cross the threshold of Malfoy Manor.” She chuckles, he swallows the sound and she smiles into the kiss.

“Well, that’s a shame.”

“Blaise got a present for you; do I need to tell him you didn’t thought of him during your Christmas shopping?” 

“Did he really asked you this?” She asks, chuckling and he nods, a small smile on his lips. “I bought him something, I’m sure he will find it amusing.”

“Oi! Lovebirds! None of baby-making during a moving train, no one wants to botch the entrance because of the shaking.”

Hermione snorts and rolls her eyes at Blaise’s antics. Draco smirks, but pulls away.

“Will you reply to my letters this holiday?”

“You will need to write and see.” He replies and unlocks the door and opens the curtains, making a show of pulling his clothes together and Blaise guffaws, Hermione flips them the bird.

Even with all that was going on her head, her worry for Mr. Weasley and the others, she can’t help the small smile on her lips that remained even after Luna and Neville reappeared and when they were arriving at King’s Cross.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates come on Fridays (I mean it this time, no more delays)
> 
> Thank you for reading this story and enjoying it!! 
> 
> leave a comment and make the author happy!


	19. Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, how've you lovely people been?

**October 15th, 2003. Ministry of Magic. Day 5457**

“What do you mean, Burke was sitting at Borgin & Burkes?” Harry asks, his voice strained, he pinches the bridge of his nose. He is exhausted.

“We went at the shop, to see if we had any news on him, when we arrived, his body was propped up, sitting, his arms resting on the cashier. Whoever is doing has a sick sense of humour.” Ron says, his body screamed the exhaustion his friend was feeling. Harry knows Ron is overworking, trying not to spend so much time at The Burrow or with free time on his hand, to think about Hermione.

“That’s three murders in what? A month?” Harry asks, worried. He can’t help but think how much his family is in danger. _Again_.

“Six. They killed the Bulstrodes last night at Knockturn Alley.”

“And no one saw anything?” Harry asks in a high voice.

“No. It was very late apparently. Since the attack at her house in the beginning of September, she and her family are constantly moving, they were staying in an inn for the past few nights.”

“Have you looked who was in the area last night?”

“Yes, you know how that place is, once you are there, you become invisible.”

“Merlin, how did they kill an entire family, and no one saw anything?”

“There’s eye witness of Millicent, people saw her leaving Flourish & Blotts and then heading straight to the inn at Knockturn Alley. We believe she was under the Imperius, because the landlord says no one entered of left after her and it’s impossible to Apparate in or out the inn.”

“So she killed her parents and then killed herself? Merlin! And we still have no idea who’s involved—“

The door opening interrupted him, and a panting Dean Thomas walked in, “we have the names of everyone who was at Diagon Alley last night.”

“Any names we know?” Harry asks as he picks the papers from Dean.

“Ritchie Coote, remember him? Played for Gryffindor during our sixth year? And Anthony Goldstein, he was part of the D.A--”

“And both are half-blood.” Harry says,

“You can’t be thinking—Harry! Richie was a Gryffindor! There’s no way he could be behind these attacks! And Anthony is Ernie’s best friend! He wouldn’t kill his father!”

“Wormtail was Gryffindor and best friends with my parents and he did what he did. Let’s not clear anyone because of houses, ok?” He says and Ron narrows his eyes at him.

Harry had told Ron about the evenings and nights back at the castle in the Dungeons and Ron was having a hard time to digest the fact that Harry and George were spending a lot of time around Slytherins.

“That’s not only it.” Dean says, “You might be right Harry, Ernie was with Anthony last night, they were at George’s shop, Seamus told me he saw them, Ernie’s body was found minutes ago.”

“No.” Ron gasps, “we can’t even trust our friends now?”

“Seamus and Lee were there as well,” Harry says and Dean starts to protest.

“Seamus is my best friend Harry. We all shared a dorm for six years! I live with the bloke! I would know if he was murdering people!”

“I KNOW DEAN! I bloody know! But people are getting killed and we don’t know where to point fingers! We don’t know whom to trust right now! There are five kids, just two of them are over four years old, and all of them are targets!”

“I know that as well! But I’m not going to let you blame Seamus! Harry, we are going to lose it if we start to not trusting our friends.”

Harry sighs, “Ernie was killed inside his house, and it was heavily warded. Whoever killed him, was someone he let in. Anthony Goldstein just made it to our empty list of names.”

“I will go and ask him questions.” Ron says and leaves the office.

“Dean, we need names. There are four people in one night. They are stepping up their game. We warded our houses, but we don’t know who we are fighting against.”

“I know. And Harry, Hermione told us to look into motives. Anthony’s dad died fighting at the battle and so did his girlfriend. And Lee—"

“Fred.” Harry says and Dean nods.

“Harry, you need to talk with George; I don’t think it’s a great idea to have anyone who’s not a target to know a Secret.”

“You are right.” Harry agrees, looking torn, Lee is his friend and is George best friend, he hated himself for doubting the guy.

“And Harry,” Dean calls, a little uncertain, his voice filled with sadness.< “We all know the Malfoys are the number one target and I know Hermione is their Keeper, but she’s not getting any better. If she dies, everyone she told will be a Keeper. That’s a lot and I know you plan in moving the Weasleys to The Manor if things get worse—"

“She’s not dying Dean.” Harry says in gritted teeth, “and how do you know she’s their Keeper?”

“You are positive no one will find out who’s their keeper because is ‘highly unlikely’, you and George apparate back and forth to Hogwarts to use Malfoy’s classroom, he has a kid no one can explain where it came from, I have one month worth of memories I know Hermione was supposed to be in, it was him who brought her to the Great Hall at the armistice.”

“It’s hers.” Harry says and Dean nods, his eyes full of tears.

“Harry, I need you to erase my memory. Seamus asked me twice if I knew who were protecting the Malfoys. Just as you said, we don’t know who to trust.”

“Dean, I—"

“I don’t want to believe. He’s my best friend. We live together since Hogwarts but, just like we said, we don’t know.” He explains and Harry nods.

He remembers what Sirius said one day, many years ago, about how the First War was even worse, how they lived in fear for years, because no one knew whose side people were on, they didn’t know who to believe and even he had distrusted Remus.

“ _Obliviate!_ ”

**October 17th 2003. St. Mungos. Day 5459**

“Ron came around,” Harry tells Hermione, “after Ernie’s death, he realized he was wasting his time and wanted to help with the potions.”

She smiles at the news and curls on Harry, who is absently running his fingers on her hair.

“Is he there now?” She asks and Harry sighs.

“No. Malfoy didn’t want him there. He said too many people coming and going will raise suspicion, but we know Malfoy doesn’t like him.”

“Tell Draco not to be a git, would you?”

“I tell him on a basis.” They both chuckle, “Zabini said one of the potions we made, allowed you to stop taking five others.” Hermione notices a smile on his voice.

“Yes, thank you,” she says, hugging his middle as tight as she can, “how’s Teddy?”

“He’s great. He hasn’t left the house since Molly, and Dromeda is crashing at Grimmauld, so he’s complaining a lot, saying he misses me.” Harry sighs, “I don’t know what to say to him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“There’s no need. And changing the subject, do you know Narcissa Malfoy and Astoria Greengrass fight all the time?” He asks, laughter in his voice.

“No.” She replies, chuckling.

“Merlin, they do. Apparently, she was basically living at the Manor before the Fidelius and Narcissa used it and Malfoy moving to the castle to kick her out. The two appeared at Malfoy’s fireplace the other day, yelling at each other, Astoria said she had stuff in the Manor and she must get inside but Narcissa refuses to let her in on the Secret. I don’t know what she expected, coming to Hogwarts with Narcissa.”

“She’s Draco’s girlfriend Harry.”

“Malfoy hasn’t talked to her in weeks. Daphne said her sister is humiliating herself and Theo told me they aren’t really dating, Astoria wants to marry and she’s like a leech clutched on Malfoy.”

“But if Draco knows Astoria is after his money, why would he stay with her? Last I heard, they have been together for months.”

“Why you decided to try again with Ron? You knew you didn’t love him that way. It’s the same—" but before Harry can say anything else Blaise walks in with her morning potions. He helps her drink them and without sparing a glance at Harry, lays on the bed, at her other side. Hermione feels her bed enlarging to fit them.

“How’s the list?” Blaise asks, Harry snorts before answering.

Hermione only rolls her eyes and uncurls herself from Harry to turn to look at Blaise.

“The list that has more friends’ names than anything else?” She asks sadly and Blaise flicks her nose.

“Yes.”

“Anthony Goldstein, Seamus Finnegan, Lee Jordan, Ritchie Coote, and Leanne.”

“Leanne? Who’s that?” Blaise asks.

“She was friends with Katie Bell, the Gryffindor Chaser. We don’t know for sure, obviously. It’s ridiculous really, we are writing down names because they are talking. I mean, Leanne was seen with Goldstein twice in the last two days and she’s spending a lot of time at George’s shop.” Harry explains and Hermione notices how frustrated he is getting.

Her mind goes back to the last time she had seen him that frustrated, they were alone in that tent moving from place to place, people dying and they weren't anywhere close to the next Horcrux.

“It sucks. At least the Death Eaters had tattoos.” Blaise says and gets up from the bed, “Potter, Draco sent a Patronus just now, he said—"

“Where am I?” Hermione asks, both boys snaps their heads at her, their eyes wide.

“St. Mungo's” Harry replies tentatively, she narrows her eyes at him. Why he was looking at her like that?

“What?” She asks confused and tries to sit on the bed, Harry is standing now, “and what are you doing here?” She asks, looking at Blaise.

“Hermione, he’s a Healer.” Harry replies and Hermione glares at him. What the hell is Harry into?

“Don’t play with me Harry. There’s no way we are in St. Mungo’s. I’d be dead if it were the case. What’s he doing in here?” She asks again.

“I told you—"

“You are lying!” She yells, her eyes full of tears, Hermione is feeling very much vulnerable and scared.

What is this place? Why is Blaise here? Why is Harry lying to her and looking at Blaise as if she had lost it?

“Hermione—" Blaise starts but he stops the moment she starts to cry.

“Caelum! Where’s he? Harry where’s Caelum?” She panics.

“He’s fine—"

“Where is he?” She asks, he eyes wide and full of tears, “where’s my baby? She got him, didn’t she? Oh my God, my baby, she got my baby.” Hermione cries, hiding her face on her hands, she can feel her entire body shaking.

“No one has your baby Hermione, he’s at the Manor—"

“WHAT? Harry, how could you? The Death Eaters are there! My baby, no, no, I need to—” she gets up, Blaise tries to stop her, but she pushes him away, “where’s my wand?” She shrieks, “I need my wand!”

“Hermione, stop! You are confused, there’s no need—"

“Shut up! I don’t trust you anymore!” She yells at Blaise, “you said you wouldn’t join! You lied to me!”

“I didn’t join, look!” He shows his forearm, no mark there, “see, I didn’t join.”

“You are lying! This is a trick! You are lying to me! You want my baby—Caelum, he needs me, they can’t—they can’t take him as well, no—" She sobs uncontrollably. 

“No one has Caelum, Hermione, he’s fine.” Harry tries, she notices he’s crying, she knows he is lying. Harry wouldn’t be crying if it was the truth.

“Why are you doing this? Why are you lying to me? I want Caelum! I want my baby! That woman took my Cassie from me, she took Cassie!” Hermione yells and both Harry and Zabini looks at each other confused.

“Who’s Cassie Hermione?” Zabini asks, his eyes wide, his cheeks are tear strained.

“My baby—my little baby, she took her from me, from Draco—" She stops, her eyes wide.

Where is Draco? If they had taken Caelum, they were with Draco as well.

“He’s fine, Draco is fine.” Harry starts, she shakes her head, more tears spilling. 

Hermione needs to support herself in the bed, her legs getting weak and the world spinning.

“I want Draco. Where is he? They have him as well, haven’t they? They found out! That’s why they took Caelum!” She cries and her entire body is shaking, “I want my family, I want—"

“Zabini, call Malfoy, now! Tell him to bring Caelum as well.” She hears Harry yelling. They had Draco then? And Caelum? Were they locked somewhere?

“Draco? Please, is he okay? I—"

Zabini leaves the room and Harry moves to hold her but she flinches. What if he isn't Harry? What if this is someone with Polyjuice?

“Hermione—"

“No. You are not Harry! You are lying! You are doing this to hurt them! Where is my son?” She yells, before crumbling down to the floor, sobbing.

The fake Harry is crying as well, and she wants her wand to hex this person pretending to be her best friend.

**October 17th 2003. Malfoy Manor. Day 5459**

Draco Apparates as close as he can to his house, only half sure he was going to make it without splinching himself. Blaise had stormed in the classroom, McGonagall hot in his heels, yelling and crying and Draco almost failed to grasp what he was saying. 

When he finally understood, he ran out of the classroom, leaving the third years to McGonagall to deal with, hating the wards at Hogwarts that kept him from Apparating and then arrived at The Manor. 

He is running the small path between the grounds and the gates, his shoes echoing the beating of his heart.

Draco barges in, his mother has her wand ready but gasps when she sees him, and tears start to fall from her eyes.

“What—" She starts, when he reaches her.

“Caelum.” He says, and Draco startles with his own voice, it is small, barely a whisper, and he didn’t plan on saying that.

“What?” She asks, her voice now mirroring his.

“I need him. Hermione she—please Mother, I have no time.” Narcissa nods, her tears falling over her pale cheeks, she run pass him with an agility uncommon for a woman in her age.

Their feet now echo in the stairs to the second floor to Caelum’s room .

“What’s happening?” He asks, “Dad?”

Draco picks him up from the floor where he and Lucius were playing chess, Lucius stands up the moment he takes a look at his son face.

“Draco?”

“I will explain later, I promise, I need to go.”

“Dad?”

They are already on the first floor and out of the front doors. “Remember when we Apparated that time? I know you hated it but we need to do again, okay?” The boy just nods and the second they are out of the wards, they go.

**October 17th 2003. St. Mungo’s. Day 5459**

“Dad, what’s happening?” Caelum asks the moment they arrive.

“It’s your mum, she’s sick Cael, really sick.” He starts to explain while pulling him along.

“Thank Merlin!” Blaise says when he sees them, “she’s worse! Draco, who’s Cassie?”

Draco’s heart sinks, “not now Blaise. Fill my parents in, I think they are having a fit back in The Manor.”

“Dad.” Caelum cries.

Draco finally stops and kneels in front of his son.

“Mum is really sick. She’s for a while now. We are trying to find her a cure, but right now, she’s not on her right mind, you understand?” The boy nods, his eyes full of tears. “Let’s go.” 

Draco hates himself for telling his son of Hermione’s condition like this, but he opens the door anyways.

The sight in front of him breaks his heart. Hermione is sobbing uncontrollably; Potter’s wand is on her shaking hand and he has a slash on his face.

“Baby!” Hermione cries, drops Potter’s wand and falls to her knees, Caelum is already midway towards her, “I thought—baby, I thought they had you.” She cries and hugs him tightly.

“I’m okay mum, I was with Granddad.” The boy says and Hermione’s red eyes looks at him, Draco walks to them and kneels around them.

“I thought that crazy woman had you, I didn’t know where you were, I was so worried, I thought--” as Hermione keeps crying, Caelum keeps his arms on her neck.

“I’m okay. I promise you.”

She pushes him back, enough to look at him, her hands cups his cheeks and she kisses both sides of his face.

“I love you so much.” 

“I love you too, Mum.”

She smiles sadly, her eyes full of tears and turns to look at Draco, her glazed eyes trying to focus on him, but failing.

“I thought I had lost you again,” She whispers.

“You won’t love, I’m not going anywhere.”

Hermione scoots closer to him and he pulls her onto his lap, Caelum along with them. “They have her.” Hermione whispers and Draco kisses her hair.

“They don’t. She’s safe, we visited her remember?”

Hermione doesn’t reply, she holds onto his shirt with one hand and onto Caelum’s uniform with the other. She cries quietly for a while and then she is silent, the only thing they can hear is her soft breathing.

“I will call Zabini.” Potter says, “do you need help to put her on the bed?”

“No, you can go.” He says, “We will be fine.”

After Potter leaves, Caelum carefully detangles himself from Hermione’s grip and stands, he looks a bit pale and his cheeks are wet.

Draco puts Hermione on the bed and Caelum helps, pulling her covers up and snuggling beside her, Draco climbs on the bed as well, leaving the boy on the middle.

“Mum’s going to be okay right, dad?” He asks, his voice trembling.

“Yes. We are doing everything we can.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“She got hit with a dark curse, no one knows what, it’s shutting down her body, making her weak, sometimes she forgets where she is.”

“Is mum going to die?” He asks, in a whisper.

“No love, we are not going to let her die.”

“Will mum forget who I am?”

“No. She would never forget you, it’s Hermione, Caelum. She’s the brightest witch of her age, and she’s going to be fine.”

The boy nods and curls up on Hermione, Draco does the same, spooning both of them.

“I always wanted this, but never like this.” He whispers and Draco kisses his hair.

“We are going to be a proper family now, I promise you.”

And Draco means it. This is his family right here, in his arms and he isn’t going to punish himself anymore for the mistakes he made eight years ago, when he was a child himself.

“I love you two so much Caelum, so much.” He says and there’s tears in his eyes, because he always felt this much for Hermione, but he never knew what to do with all the feeling, but now he knows and it consumes him and here it is, Draco thinks, here is his redemption, wrapped up with the two people he loves the most in the world and that loves him back equally.

“Dad, who mum was talking about? Who you visited?” He asks and there’s something in his voice that tells Draco the boy knows. That he already figured it out.

“Remember what I told you? About the day you were born? About the crazy woman who hurt mum?” Draco ask and Caelum nods, “Well, I found out the rest of the story.”

Caelum turns around, but without taking his hand from Hermione’s arm.

“What happened?”

“When mum arrived at your Aunt Fleur’s house, you were on the way and she delivered you, but first, came a little girl,” Caelum’s breath hitches, “your mum named her Cassiopeia, just like the star, the one of the upside-down Princess, remember?” Caelum nods, “She came first, and your mother held her and then you came, and Cassie looked at you and then closed her eyes. Your mother said she was waiting for you, to see if you were okay. Aunt Fleur told mum that Cassie was hugging you, protecting you.”

“She’s the girl in my dreams.” He says and Draco nods, “it’s my sister.” His eyes are full of tears, but he doesn’t cry, he smiles sadly and wipes the tears away, “she never leaves me alone.” Caelum chuckles and Draco smiles, laughing with him.

“I don’t think she ever will.” 

“I’m glad, because I like having her around.” He says with a smile, “Dad, when mum get better, I will go live with her ok? She’s been alone for too long.”

“When mum gets better, we will all live together Cael.”


	20. Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello....
> 
> I'm sorry for missing last week's update!! I got sick, like really sick, not leaving bed sick and I couldn't write or update. but I'm here now! and I'm going to give you guys a double update. Today is this one and tomorrow I will post another! this is me apologizing

**December 25th, 1995. Grimmauld Place Number 12. Day 415**

“Wotcha! Hermione, these are yours as well.” Tonks calls, pulling other three presents from under the tree.

“Oh yeah, they arrived this morning! But they don’t have a name on them,” Mrs. Weasley says, her eyes twinkling in curiosity.

Hermione grabs her presents, all three of them wrapped in green and silver and Hermione has to contain a chuckle. They are ridiculous, the three of them.

“Who would wrap in ugly Slytherin green?” Fred asks.

“That’s just bad taste,” George agrees.

Hermione opens the first one carefully, trying to hide it as well as she could, Ginny watches her with a curious look.

It is a book, the cover is maroon, and the title is written in Runes, on the cover is a small note, _‘I hope you enjoy the wonders of translating this book’_ and Hermione looks at Blaise’s handwriting warily, there is sarcasm on his sentence and Hermione hesitates before opening the book.

“What it’s about?” Ginny asks,

“I don’t know, it’s written in Runes.” She replies and opens in a random page. Her eyes bulge out of its sockets, because in very explicit pictures are very explicit sexual positions.

She closes the book quickly, her cheeks reddening.

“What?” Harry asks amused at her expression, Hermione shook her head.

“Come on Hermione, it’s just a book!” Ron says and makes to grab it, Hermione holds it close.

“I’m going to murder Zabini,” she mutters. Harry, Ron and Ginny look at her incredulous.

“Zabini sent you a present?” Ron asks, she faintly notices the jealousy in his tone.

“Since when you are friends with him?” George asks curiously.

“They have Ancient Runes together,” Harry says, now moving on to his own present. Hermione loves Harry then, because Ron, noticing Harry didn’t care makes a show of shrugging his shoulders and paying attention to Ginny’s present from Tonks.

Slightly aware of Ginny’s eyes still on her, she avoids opening the other two. She knows one belongs to Draco and the other to Theo, but ridiculously, her heart is beating really fast in anticipation for Draco’s present. Hermione doesn't want to open in front of them and then have to explain herself.

It’s hours after lunch when Hermione is finally alone, she closes the door on the room she shares with Ginny and opens the bigger package.

Her eyes widen at the portrait, it’s a drawing and she feels like crying. It’s her and Draco, they are lying on the grass by the Black Lake, there are books sprawled around them, Hermione beams at Draco, he’s laughing, and his eyes are crinkled. 

It’s her favorite thing ever.

_I’ve seen how you look at him like you want to frame it forever; I thought you’d like to have something like this.  
Don’t worry; your secret is safe with me._

She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand and hides the portrait carefully inside her trunk, before moving to the last present. 

Hermione unwraps the small package and gasps at the small turquoise box, recognizing the brand immediately. She gasps again, ten minutes later, when she finally gathers the courage to open the box.

He had given her two, not one, two Tiffany’s bracelets. They look simple, but Hermione knows better. One of them is in sterling silver with a small, cabochon rainbow moonstone in the middle, it's simple, nothing flashy and extremely beautiful, she picks the bracelet carefully, eyeing the stone that shines its own light. Hermione smiles at it, remembering the first day of classes, where they made the Draught of Peace and fought every step of the potion.

She puts the bracelet on her wrist and beams at how it looks on her wrist.

The other bracelet is less simple than the first and Hermione gulps when she notices it's platinum and with bezel-set diamonds interweaving with green tourmalines. Hermione is afraid to even put it on; it is so precious, so beautiful. She touches the bracelet carefully, running her fingers on the stones and smiling to herself.

There’s a note along with the bracelets; his handwriting, as beautiful and rich as the bracelets.

_There were so many quotes I thought of writing, but none of them truly expressed how thankful I am for who you are._

And Hermione realizes then, that she has the most love she ever known for that boy and she doesn’t know what to do with it and it terrifies her. 

 

**January 16th, 1996. The Wooden Bridge. Day 438**

“Fancy seeing you here.” She says, a small smile on her lips. It's the first time she had caught him alone since they returned on Monday.

“Hey,” he replies, after turning around to see her, “nice bracelet.” 

“Thanks, it was a weird looking guy that gave to me.” She replies and he snorts.

Hermione walks to the space next to his and puts her arms on the barrier, leaning herself to look at him at the other side of the pillar.

“How were your holidays?” 

“It was nice, crowded, but nice. I spent with Harry and the Weasleys,”

“Potter’s dog was there?” 

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” She replies, he shakes his head laughing, his hair getting messy on the wind. 

Hermione can see flicks of golden in his cheeks and his eyes seem even lighter on the shy sun that baths his skin. She thinks he’s gorgeous.

“He’s my cousin, you know that, right?” Hermione just nods. “Mother used to tell me stories about him and his friends at Hogwarts, I used to think he was a laugh. Never met him though, like most of my family, they were either in Azkaban or blasted off.”

“He said Andromeda was his favorite.” Hermione replies and then wishes to punch herself for slipping.

Draco pretends not to notice and replies, “Never met her either, Mother barely talks about her, she used to exchange letters with her after Nymphadora was born, Mother wanted to meet her, but Aunt Bella found out and threw a fit, threatened to tell the Dark Lord, since my grandfather, Cygnus, adored my mother and wouldn’t tell her off.”

Hermione stores this piece of information; she loves when he tells things about him or his family to her. So, she breaks a few more laws and tells him about his family.

“Tonks would kill you if she heard you calling her Nymphadora, she hates it.”

“What is she like?”

“She’s so funny. She’s a metamorphmagus and won’t stop changing her appearance just to make us laugh, you need to see her imitating Moody, is horrifying.” She laughs at the memory and he chuckles.

“I’m glad she’s happy,” he says and Hermione smiles sadly at him.

“Your Aunt is one of the Death Eaters that escaped, right?” She asks and Draco nods.

“Mother already wrote complaining, she says Bella was crazy before Azkaban and the fifteen years drove her completely mad. I’m glad to be really far from her.”

“Don’t you think it’s weird, how we talk about this stuff?” She asks and Draco nods, he has a small smile on his face. 

“We have our fair share of weird stuff.” He replies and goes to stand behind her, his hands on each side of her. Hermione snuggles on him and the warmth he emanates.

“Did you like your present?” She asks in a small voice, he had outdone himself with his presents and she felt a little bad for giving something not nearly that expensive.

“Of course. I had to tell Mother a story about how it was top fashion in some wizarding country, Blaise and Daph backed me up, as they both knew it was a trench coat instead of a new style of robes.”

She chuckles, and her smile widened when she felt him kissing her hair.

“I even chose one that was green, you know, Merlin forbid you wear anything other than Slytherin’s colors.”

“So, it is green!” He says amused, “the girls were fighting over the color, Pansy was sure it was black.”

“Well, it’s really dark. But the name was dark olive green.”

“Thank you anyway, black or dark olive green. I really loved it. Blaise was jealous.”

“Tell Blaise he can shove his gift up—"

“Now, now Granger.” He chuckles and she turns around, facing him.

“Do you have any idea of what he got me?”

“No.” He replies but the smirk on his face tells Hermione the opposite, she smacks him.

“You idiot!”

“We thought you liked runes!” He guffaws at her affronted expression.

“I got him a very nice sweater and what he gives me? A porn book! Your coat is cashmere, you know that, right?” He nods, still laughing and she pushes his face away, Draco only grabs her hands and stuff them on his pocket, holding it there.

“I do know Granger. Thank you very much. There’s no need to get violent—oh! Have you started on the book already?” He asks, voice full of mirth and she screeches at his offending face.

“Shut up!”

He kisses her once, twice and then walks away, the bell indicating it was time for Lunch behind him.

 

**January 20th, 1996. The Library. Day 442**

“Do you mind if I sit in here?” a shy voice snaps Hermione out of her reading and she looks up to Daphne Greengrass smiling timidly at her. Hermione shakes her head and clears a space on the table for the girl. “Thank you.”

Hermione wonders if it’s a Slytherin thing, to invite oneself to other’s table in a way to make friends.

She stares at Daphne and the girl gets even more shy, “Sorry, I was just wondering.” Hermione says and looks away.

“It’s okay. I know it’s weird—"

“I have an idea of why you are here.” She replies and gives the girl a weak smile.

“Draco told us during his family Christmas Gala.” she explains, Hermione’s eyes widen at the word gala.

“When you say ‘us’ you mean…”

“Me and Pansy.” She replies and laughs at Hermione’s expression of pure shock, and a lit bit of fear if she’s honest.

“That explains the scathing looks I’ve been receiving, I mean, more than the usual ones.”

Daphne laughs again and nods, “she didn’t take well—that’s an understanding really, but she is all hisses no bites—I mean, she does bite, but not when Draco is involved. He’s too dear to her to upset him and well, your wrist explains a lot.”

Hermione blushes and tries to cover the wrist that has been receiving way too much attention for the past few days. The girls on her dorm squealed for hours, Lavender outdone herself in jumps and claps and giggling. Even the usually quiet Fay, wolf-whistled and Kellah grabbed her wrist and salivated over it.

“Do I need to be worried?”

“No, I don’t think so.” Daphne says, shrugging, “But Granger, I wanted to thank you for the colored pencils. They are amazing! Really, there’s so many colors I had never imagined I could use!” she says excitedly and Hermione smiles.

“I’m glad, I—"

“Theo told me why you did it, and no problems really, I always thought you were a swot and would do good to use a brush but—oh, sorry! That’s uncalled for.” She blushes hard and Hermione laughs a little.

“I try. My hair and I, we are in war for years now.” She replies and there’s a glint in Daphne’s eyes that Hermione recognizes from last year in Lavender’s and Parvati’s eyes.

“I hope you liked my drawing, I tried my best!” The girl replies instead, but the glint isn’t gone, Hermione catches her studying Hermione’s curls with an interest.

“I loved it! And the frame was beautiful, it’s in my trunk because I don’t have where to put it.”

“Your friends don’t know?” She asks, her smile gone from her face now, “why are you hiding Draco?” And there’s a hint of accusation on her voice, judgment on her eyes and her smile remembers Hermione of winter.

The Daphne Greengrass that approached Hermione’s table was just a mask. The sweet, blushing girl was a front and Hermione—she should know better by now, than to take a Slytherin for what they portrayed themselves.

And maybe that’s how Daphne got the title of nice Slytherin from the others house, she goes all mushy and cutesy at others, apparently inoffensive and then bites when everyone dropped their guards.

“You wouldn’t understand.” Hermione tries, she can almost hear the girl hissing.

“Oh, but I did.”

“You lot are different, you are loyal to each other, but us? Gryffindors are lousy and hot headed, I’m sure I won’t have even finished explaining and both Harry and Ron would be throwing a fit and doing something harsh. He trusts you with knowing, I don’t trust my friends to not react badly at this.”

“We are more developed beings,” she says with pride and Hermione snorts, but let it go.

 

**January 27th, 1996. Professor Merrythought Office. Day 449**

“I found the quote I was looking for on Christmas.” He says, his mouth on her neck.

She was studying, she really was, but Draco had decided otherwise five minutes ago and had pulled the books away from her and called her boring.

“What is it?” She asks, her fingers tangles in the fine hairs on his nape.

“ _’The world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold. The curves of your lips rewrite history.’”_ He says, his mouth hot on her ear.

Hermione gasps and arches her back as his lips traces the curve of her ear and his teeth bites her earlobe...

“Very poetic.” She says, trying to find air and he smirks on her cheek.

“I have my moments.” He says with a laugh and pulls back. Hermione smiles at the sight of him playing with her wrist. “What are we doing on this Saturday? I ditched my friends for the entire day.”

“That’s very presumptuous. I mean, even for you. You can’t expect me to spend my entire day—” and he shuts her up with a pillow on her face.

“So annoying,” he mutters and she swats at his hand, Draco removes the pillow off her face. Hermione is grinning at him, he scowls and sprawls on the sofa, taking most of the space and kicking her to the far side. “And this sofa is so small, I can’t even lay in it properly.”

“Well, this isn’t a bed—"

“Clearly.”

“You are such a pain in the ass.”

“I’m a pain in the ass? I was being nice—" she snorts and he kicks her thigh lightly, “and you, I repeat, you started making fun of me!”

“I wasn’t making fun of you, I just said you aren’t all that nice for one to—" she is interrupted again, but this time is Draco that’s on her face, he pulled her on top of him by the elbow.

“Granger,” he starts, both hands holding her in place on top of him, “I gave my friends a really good excuse for them to leave me alone for the day, I’m wearing your Christmas present and I showered, so I am not going to be made fun of and I’m not leaving here without a proper snog.”

“Well, it’s good that we have the entire day then.” She replies with a smirk and leans in, her lips brushing his, “Because I’m pretty much done with talking for the day.”

“That would be a first.” It’s his reply as he kisses her.

Hermione thinks she can get used to this, to him, to stolen moments every other day and being this close with this boy that in some sick twist of events fits perfectly inside her heart. And she thinks that he knows this too, that they fit, because their lips meet and their tongues clash as they’ve known each other forever, and his hands, _God_ , his hands trail up and down her torso and every time he stops by the hem of her shirt she wishes he would just keep going, and Draco knows this as well, because he smirks when she shivers and tenses on top of him.

Her sweater goes off alarmingly fast and she shivers again, but this time because of the cold. They knew better than to lit the fireplace and have people finding out their place. Draco, sensing it, runs his hands up and down her arms and shifts their body, hers now pressed between the back of the sofa and him.

Hermione is bold, she prides herself in that, even though she isn’t sure Godric Gryffindor was talking about this kind of boldness, but she is, and that’s why she tucks one of her legs in the middle of his and pulls him even closer by the belt. Draco’s hands are under her Muggle t-shirt and Hermione decides there are too many layers of clothing between them.

“Off.” She mutters on his lips as she tries, blindly, to remove his jumper, his new trench coat was carefully put on top of the sofa, because it was new and expensive, and she wasn’t going let him wrinkle it. 

Draco’s wearing a white cotton shirt underneath and Hermione decides it’s still too much and the room is very hot very suddenly. Their lips break apart, so they can breathe, their noses are touching as they are left panting. His eyes are dark with lust and that’s how she likes best.

“Can I?” He asks, his hands on the hem of her t-shirt and she nods, “are you sure?” Hermione nods again and be it because he asked her or something else, but her feelings for him grow.

Draco removes his shirt first and gives her a moment for her to change her mind, Hermione’s shirt joins his five seconds later.

His eyes skim over her, she doesn’t have time to get conscious about her body because Draco is smiling and looking at her like she’s the best thing that he ever laid eyes on and Hermione has to close her eyes, or else hearts might have tumbled from her eyeballs.

Draco kisses her lips again, and it’s hypersensitive, with their bare torsos pressed together and his hands all over her. Hermione’s arms are wrapped around his shoulder and she likes it.

She never gave much attention to his body before, but he’s defined, from his shoulders to his abs, he’s rigid in the right places and Hermione can see the results of Quidditch practice on his arms. 

His kisses leave her mouth and she feels empty, Hermione’s about to complain when she feels them on her neck, Draco really has a thing for her neck. She arches her back, he’s sucking on her collarbones and embarrassingly her leg spasms out of control and she moans throatily when he bites just above where the top of her bra ends.

“I think your bra is offending,” he says and she giggles, he smirks at the sound and she knows she’s blushing but is the blush on his cheeks that get her attention. 

Hermione wonders if this is a first for him too.

“It can really get in the way sometimes.” She says timidly, and his smirk is replaced by a small grin and he shakes his head like she’s out of this world and Hermione thinks that, in this moment, she’s not very grounded to the earth if the stars in Draco’s eyes are something to go by.

Draco’s expression changes to one that is determined as he grabs her sides and pulls her on top of him, so she’s straddling him. Hermione goes to cover herself, but he stops her. He leans in slightly, just enough to kiss her lips again. And he does, softly and as if he has all the time of the world to do what he wants.

Draco’s hands leave her hips as they travel up her sides, meeting the fabric of her bra. He is sitting now, his back on the sofa and his feet are touching the carpeted floor, she’s on top of him and vaguely aware of the fact that his face is on full view of her breasts.

His left hand is on her thigh and his right is open on her back, his thumb playing with the clasp of her bra. Hermione gives a small nod that she’s not entirely sure when her brain decided to it and Draco unclasp it, the bra straps falling and before she gets the chance to cover herself, he pulls her to him and his lips are back on hers.

It definitely is Hermione’s favorite place.

She hugs his neck and they both moan when her breasts, now free of offending bras, touch his bare chest. One of his hands is still sprawled on her back and its fingers run up and down her spine.

It’s her who break the kiss this time, only because she wants to taste the rest of him, she wants to know if his skin taste like mint and apples like his mouth, or if the sweat that is now pooling on where his shoulder meets his neck give a completely different flavor. It’s all for academic purposes.

So, she goes to learn, like the avid learner that she is. Hermione kisses his neck and his throat and then his Adam’s apple when she notices him swallowing. Her tongue covers the extension of his neck and then she discovers his earlobe, Hermione faintly notices his grip harder on her hips and there’s something poking on his trousers, but she doesn’t dwell on that, not yet, not when she’s concentrated on his pale skin and the different sounds he makes. 

Hermione learns fast and she already understands that if she bites here, he will groan and if her tongue traces this bit of skin here, the hairs on his body will stand. 

“Will you stop teasing?” He groans and she smirks in the middle of another experiment, this time just where his collarbones meet.

She looks up and her breathing gets caught on her throat, he’s beautiful. She knows that, but sometimes still baffles her and this is one of the moments.

He grins something beautiful and she gets lost in thought for a second but comes back when he grabs her by the mess of her hair and arks her neck for his liking and sucks a mark in there that she knows will bruise and honestly, Hermione can't care less.

Hermione isn’t the type of getting poetic during these moments, but Draco hands are on her breasts and his lips are on her chest, just above the frenetically hammering of her heart and she’s sure that if one could see her heart right now, it would be full of Draco’s fingertips.

He takes his time to get his lips to her breasts and nipples even though Hermione notices how eager he is, and then, belatedly, she realises he’s shy and there’s uncertainty on his eyes and a shakiness on his hands when he thumbs one of her nipples.

She looks at him and he returns the look, and she finally understands: it _is_ his first time as well. Hermione gives him a small smile that he returns by scowling at her and she’s laughing now and he’s chuckling too, the moment should be lost but instead is the laughter that gets lost halfway because he is licking her left nipple and it does something to her that has her insides tensing and her panties wetting. 

He does it again and all pretense of uncertainty gets lost when she arches on him and he grabs her firmly. He circles her nipple with his tongue and then hold it between his teeth and Hermione’s making noises of pleasure she always thought it was just in porn, but she doesn’t get worked up on that because Draco is rock hard on her and he’s moving his hips slightly and she rocks back tentatively, his mouth goes lack on her breasts.

“Don’t,” he moans, “I’m seconds away from coming in my pants.” He groans frustrated and she cradles his face with both hands before kissing his mouth fully.

“I don’t care.” She replies and he’s shaking his head.

Draco kisses her cheek and her shoulder and leans back on the sofa, pulling her back with him.

“There are things that are better fit for a proper bed.” She smiles, something is exploding inside her as she realizes he thinks better of her than some make out session in an empty office.

Hermione wonders if the Requirement Room would make them a bed if she asked.

 

**February 1st, 1996. Professor Merrythought Office. Day 453**

They had been together for a total of ten minutes and Hermione had already lost her cloak, her shirt and tie. That’s a new record for them.

She’s on his lap again, but then again, when isn’t she these days? And they aren’t doing anything really, she’s just there, on his arms and it feels perfect.

“Are you quite done?” She asks, her voice with a hint of irritation.

“I would if you had stopped writhing.” He replies and she kisses his pouting lips and he scowls but his eyes are shining so she knows he’s not mad. Just extremely bored.

“You have a quill on my shoulder and it tickles my face and ear, how do you expect me to sit still?”

“You are the brightest witch of your age, you figure it out,” she scoffs and he resumes his drawing. “I’m almost done anyway.” He says and she rolls her eyes.

Draco was playing connect-the-dots with the freckles on her shoulder and had drawn the constellation of his name and apparently, is finishing his sun sign.

“You are like, ten.” She replies but secretly she’s loving every second of it.

“All done,” he says, ignoring her last comment, “now you have me on your shoulder.” 

As if Hermione hadn’t him carved on her skin already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have here the introduction of Daphne Greengrass into Hermione's life uhuuul.
> 
> Draco's quote is from The Picture of Dorian Gray
> 
> Comments breathe life into me!! please let me know your honest review, I love hearing your thoughts and comments.


	21. Twenty One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, the second update this week to compensate for last week. I hope you enjoyyy.

**February 13th, 1996. Great Hall. Day 465**

“I have everything figured it out, can you be at the Three Broomsticks sometime after your date with Cho?” Hermione asks, Ginny, who is three seats away looks at them.

“Yes, but I still don’t understand what—"

“It’s not important now Harry, just be there ok? It’s important for you to be there and—"

“Aren’t you going to spend your Valentine’s Day with anyone?” Ginny asks and the pair look at the redhead, both with confused looks.

“Are you seeing someone Hermione?” Harry asks bewildered and Hermione tries very hard not to look offended.

“Of course, not Harry. What are you talking about Ginny?” Hermione asks, her voice falsely light.

“I was just wondering. With the amount of time you disappear now—" her voice is a bit too angry for Hermione’s liking.

“I’ve been studying.” Hermione says, shrugging, and turns back to Harry, trying to change subject immediately, “Harry?”

“Yeah, ok. No problem, I will meet you there.” He replies and Hermione notices him looking strangely between the two girls, clearly noticing some tension between the two.

It isn't the first time Ginny brought up the idea of Hermione seeing someone, she knows, even for her, there's only an amount of time you can spend studying and Hermione has been very vague lately and Ginny, being raised with six brothers, Fred and George two of them, made the girl naturally suspicious.

And Hermione acting ridiculously lovey dopey doesn't help her much. She needs to get a grip fast because there’s nothing lovey dopey about making out in hidden places or in an empty office.

**February 13th, 1996. Hogsmeade. Day 465**

“So,” Hermione starts, when it's just her and Harry sitting on a bench outside Tomes And Scrolls, “what exactly happened to your date?”

Harry sighs but starts telling her about everything, Hermione chuckles when he tells her about Cho thinking the two of them were a thing.

“Now it’s funny but you should’ve seen how it was, every couple and slightly perturbing cherubs were looking at us, she was crying and yelling at me. I just sat there, shocked.”

“Well, she is going through a lot.”

“It’s not my fault that.”

“Of course not, but I understand where she’s coming from, thinking you’d understand.”

“Yeah,” he replies and they sit in silence, watching couples walking past them, holding hands and giggling at each other.

Theo and Daphne passes them, and Hermione smiles a little at them, the couple nods back.

“Ginny thinks you are going out with Zabini.” Harry says, after noticing the small change between them, “Ron told her about that day at the library and all.” His voice lacks emotion, so it is hard to know if it is something that bothered him.

Hermione takes a deep breath. “Would you mind? I mean, if I was?” She asks, uncertain.

Harry takes his time replying, Hermione has almost given up on an answer, but then, “At least it’s not Malfoy.”

And her heart falls to her stomach.

“No,” she says, eyes filling quickly with tears, “it’s not,” she chuckles but it sounds strangled, “and I’m not, by the way, with Zabini, no. We are just friends.” 

Hermione has to look away, because Harry is laughing, saying ‘imagine that’ making fun of her two favorite Slytherins and it hurts.

She wishes things would be different, that Draco wasn’t a pain in the ass most of the time, so her friends could understand or at least be nice about it.

“You are MAD!” They hear someone yell, “absolutely BONKERS!” Hermione jumps to her feet and goes in the direction of the yelling, Harry right behind her.

“It’s all your fault! You—"

“What? I was in the way? Walking? You are crazy!” They are nearing them now and Hermione recognizes the voices as Blaise’s and Ginny’s.

They are on the road that leads to the Hog’s Head and it is empty apart from Draco, Pansy, Theo, Daphne and two third-year Hufflepuffs, all looking confused and curious at the exchange.

Ginny has wide perplexed eyes and her lips are too swollen, Blaise’s shirt is missing a few buttons and he too has wide eyes.

Hermione understand immediately what had happened.

“You are a brute! A—a—bigoted prat! Who enjoys entailing in prat-ish behavior and the attention you garner from anyone who can see it!”

“It was you! I did nothing! I was attacked! You attacked me!”

Ginny face reddens considerably and she struggled for words.

“You attacked me back!” She yells and Hermione has to hold back a snort.

“Ginny?” Harry calls, having seen enough, “what’s going on?”

The pair turns around, finally noticing they weren’t alone, and they had quite a crowd.

“Nothing. I was just leaving.” She says and with a last disgusted look thrown at Blaise she walks towards them.

“Crazy hag!” Blaise calls after her, Harry makes a move to defend her, but Ginny throws a well-aimed Bat-Bogey Hex at him.

Ginny stalks off, Harry behind her and none of them look back as they turn the corner back to High Street, so Hermione goes to help Blaise who is struggling with the many bat coming out of his nose.

“ _Finite!_ ”

“I hate your friend Granger.” It's the first thing Blaise says after being back to normal.

“I’m not so sure of that, really.” She replies and he throws her a scathing look, she only ignores him.

“What did you do?” Theo asks.

“I did nothing! Crazy, that’s what that girl is!”

“How could you enrage her like that so quickly?” Pansy asks impressed, “Draco and I, we were without you for less than ten minutes!”

“It wasn’t my fault! She—she did it! She’s mad!” And then he stalks off angrily and muttering a series of words on his way.

“I think Blaise finally lost it.” Daphne says and the other three Slytherins agree with her.

Hermione wonders what had taken for the two to kiss, as she knew Ginny had come to Madam Puddifoot’s with Michael. 

And where was Michael, by the way?

“Well, Tracey and Millie are waiting for me, Daph are you done sucking faces with your future husband?” Pansy asks, with the usual tone of displeasure on her voice whenever Hermione was around. “Fine. I’m leaving then.” And with a flick of her long dark hair, she leaves.

“We still have things to do, so we are going as well.” Theo says and the couple nodded their goodbyes.

“Hi,” Draco says, from an awkward distance from her. 

The meanings behind the day dawns on her.

“Hey.”

“You—Er—Are you here alone?”

“I came with Luna and then hung with Harry after his date failed.”

“Hm. Me too—no, I mean, I came with Crabbe and Goyle. Blaise and Pansy were trying to get a free meal at Madam Puddifoot if they proposed to each other, but I guess she remembered him from earlier with Miles—stupid of him if you ask me, it’s not like there’s many dark-skinned wizards proposing in Hogsmeade.” Draco says everything very fast while avoiding looking at her face.

“He really did that?” She asks and kicks absently a pebble on the ground.

“Twice.”

“But Miles is—“

“A boy, yeah, don’t ask me, but they did make a show of crying and kissing, so I don’t really think he minds.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah.”

“So”

“Yeah”

“We should go—"

“Right. We should.”

“Yeah.” And Hermione leaves as quickly as possible, cursing herself for being ridiculous and so awkward.

Who cares if it’s Valentine’s Day? Who cares Draco didn’t mention anything about that date? Not her, obviously. It’s only a stupid date and it’s not like they are dating or anything.

They aren’t.

They just kiss, sometimes. Often. Frequently. Well, people kiss each other constantly. It doesn’t have to mean anything.

**February 18th, 1996. Library. Day 470**

“What do you mean, you aren't coming?” Blaise asks, and he should really try acting someday, because he got Hermione feeling bad for it.

“I’m not a fan of Quidditch.” She replies.

“Well, but three of your new best friends are playing tomorrow and you need to support us!” 

“Who?” She asks confused, as far as she knew, only Draco played on the team.

“Vince and Greg got detention with McGonagall tomorrow and will miss the game, Blaise and Theo will replace them as Beaters.” Daphne explains, and her eyes widen.

“You? Playing?” She asks and snorts, Blaise is more than offended now.

“What can you possibly mean by that?”

“That you don’t seem the type of hopping on a broom and getting all disheveled,” she says seriously and both Theo and Daphne start laughing.

“Firstly, I will have you know I don’t mind getting on a broom at all,” he says in all seriousness and Daphne’s laughter rings around them and Theo shakes his head amused, “secondly, there’s nothing wrong in getting disheveled for the right reasons,” he says with an wink and Hermione wonders if Blaise has ever said something without a sexual innuendo included, “and thirdly, you are one to talk Miss-I-get-it-on-regularly! You didn’t strike me as—"

“Blaise, let’s not finish this sentence, shall we?” Draco says from behind them and they all turn to find him standing beside one of the bookshelves around their table, Pansy is by his side and Hermione isn’t sure who the girl wants to strangle first, her or Daphne.

Daphne seems to wonder the same thing.

Blaise smirks widely, as if the idea of a girl’s fight pleases him immensely. 

Draco walks towards the table and stops beside her, she sees him looking around before wrapping a finger in one of her curls and playing with it. Hermione blushes and Pansy makes disgruntled noise.

“Well, isn’t that—"

“Unnecessary. You Zabini, are unnecessary.” She replies with a pointed look.

“Granger, come with me really quick?” Draco asks in a low voice and she nods.

She gets up and goes after him, not before missing Blaise’s _‘they are exchanging saliva for months now and he still calls her by the last name’_

Hermione notices they aren’t out of the other’s sight but she knows that if they go somewhere else, the chances of being caught by someone that don’t know about them is big.

“About the game, you don’t need to go if you don’t want to, but Blaise really wants to see you on our stands.” He says sheepishly, and she smirks. “Oh shut up, you know what, there’s no need really, it will be trouble, you don’t need to come.” He snaps angrily and turns to leave.

“Malfoy.” She calls and he narrows his eyes at her.

“What?”

“Can I borrow a scarf?” She asks in a whisper and his eyes widen.

“I might have one I can lend you,” he replies and with a quick look at his friends, who are all looking at them, leans down and quickly kisses her lips. Pansy lets out an audible gasp, “see you tomorrow then.”

**February 19th, 1996. Quidditch Pitch. Day 471**

“Hey, Seeker!” She calls and she sees him stopping dead on his tracks and turning around to her voice.

“Merlin, these colors suit you so much better,” he says in awe and she shoves him, “what are you doing here this early?”

“Blaise mentioned you always came down early and I left before the others could wake up and notice I was gone.” She replies and gets on her tip-toes to kiss him, “and he also mentioned you wanted to ask me something.”

Draco is blushing and she cocks an eyebrow at him.

“If we win, if I catch the Snitch, would you, I don’t know, gotoourcommonroomwithus?”

“What?”

He sighs and tries again, “After the game, would you return to our Common Room with us?” She looks at him shocked, “Daphne and Pansy will sneak you in on the dorm and I promise not to take long if there’s festivities”

“But won’t it be risky?”

“Hell yeah.” He replies and then steps closer and backs her up on the wall on the side of the Change Room, “but I really want to be on a bed with you” he whispers on her ear and she has to hold on to him to keep standing.

“You have dorm mates you know.” It's her reply.

“We will be very quiet then.” He says and sucks on her ear.

“Oi! horny-heads! The rest of the team are behind us,” Blaise calls and they pull back, Hermione’s face is a darker shade of red.

“See you then,” she replies and quickly puts the hoodie of her borrowed cloak on her head, thanking the gods for the rain, as she run for the stands.

People had started to arrive; the Slytherin stands are the smallest of the pitch as the others two houses decided to cheer for Ravenclaw and Hermione suddenly felt glad she is cheering for them, as the noise from the others seem to silence the green-clad students.

Daphne is easy to spot on the stands and she goes to sit with the girl on the last row of seats on the top of the pitch, vaguely hidden from view under the many umbrellas and hoodies, not to mention the green scarf she has around her neck that smells deliciously of him.

**February 19th, 1996. Slytherin Common Room. Day 471**

“This is madness.” Parkinson mutters as the girl crosses the door that leads to the Slytherin common room.

“I think is brilliant! All the thrill and—"

“Shut up Daphne. You are still around, right?” Parkinson asks in an angry tone and Hermione touches her arm to indicate that indeed she was. Parkinson mutters something unpleasant under her breath.

Hermione is amazed at the common room. The first thing she notices about the place is that it wasn’t round, which is stupid, because she knows it couldn’t be since they aren't in a tower, but nevertheless, she is impressed. 

The Slytherin common room is rectangular and the farthest wall from the entrance isn’t a wall at all, but a big window that reflected the Black Lake, which gives the room a greenish tinge. It seems bigger than the Gryffindor Tower and less cozy. She also notices that it's a few degrees lower than her common room. The passageway they had just walked in is in the middle of the room, and each side of the room had a majestic fireplace. The Slytherin Dungeon is filled with dark green button-tufted leather sofas, two round tables that sits eight people, small desks scattered around and, on the walls, tapestries of great Slytherins. The common room has two floors, being the second a balcony, where Hermione can see bookshelves lining the balcony.

Daphne and Pansy guide her through the mass of people celebrating the win, Draco in the midst of it all holding the small Snitch on his hand with a proud smile on his face. The moment the boy sees the two girls walking towards their dorm room, Draco beams even more and Hermione’s heart get caught on her throat.

Pansy mutters another set of foul words and Hermione ignores the girl, she is still sneaking Hermione in after all.

The three girls climb the stars in the opposite direction of the entrance, which are parallel with the other set of stairs that led to the balcony. Hermione looks excitedly at the window, trying to see the Lake.

“We can see the Giant Squid sometimes,” Daphne murmurs excitedly and Pansy rolls her eyes, “Salazar balls Pansy, don’t be such a killjoy, we talked about this already.” Daphne says, exasperatedly.

“And we agreed it was insane and that Draco lost his bloody mind!”

“I’m still here you know.” Hermione says and Pansy scowls.

“I’m painfully aware of that. I can’t believe I’m missing on the celebrations because I have to sneak in the Gryffindor Princess. I’m so sorry I’ve become a joke.” Pansy finishes, looking at the huge portrait of Salazar Slytherin that stood in the middle of the two sets of stairs that led to the dorms.

They go for the stairs on the left and climb three floors. Daphne opens the door to where Hermione hopes to be the boy’s dorm and they all enter. 

Again, the thought of not being round comes to mind. Hermione finishes the Disillusionment Charm on her and looks around. There are five four-poster beds, all lined side by side on the wall, separated by a wardrobe, the sheets are green, while the curtains are black. They have an amazing view of the lake and Hermione wonders how far underneath they are. Differently from the Gryffindor dorm, there is no heater in the room and Hermione shivers from the cold—there are heavy blankets on the beds—and the trunks sit on the foot of the bed.

“This one is Theo’s,” Daphne says, patting the bed she is currently sitting on, just by the door, “this one is Blaise’s,” she says, pointing to the one on the other side of the door, “Draco’s is the one beside Blaise’s, he has the corner bed the lucky bastard, and the other two on this side of Theo’s are Vince’s and Greg’s but I have no idea of which belong to whom.”

“And the boys said Professor Snape put a silencing charm in their corner, because they snore absurdly loud.” Pansy says, she is standing in front of the door, her arms crossed, and she keeps looking out of the door to see if anyone is coming.

“We must be going, I promised Theo I’d celebrate with him, Pans?” Daphne calls and the girl nods.

“Thanks.” Hermione says, “Really. I know this is the last thing you wanted to do.”

“You have no idea how far down this is on my list.”

“It was fun, count me in for the next time.” Daphne says with a wink and Pansy groans and pulls Daphne out by the arm. “Enjoy!” Daphne calls, giggling as she leaves.

Hermione is alone in the Slytherin Dorm and realization dawns on her. She probably is breaking hundreds of rules and she can only imagine what would happen if she gets caught. Suddenly the idea seems stupidly crazy and she wonders what was wrong with her when she agreed to this.

She walks to Draco’s bed, not wanting to stand in the middle of the room if someone decided to walk in. She carefully sits on the bed and feels that the sheets are silk, Hermione doubts they are from Hogwarts. 

Her heart is beating fast, she has an inkling of what would happen tonight and weirdly, she isn’t all that fussed about it. Hermione never gave her virginity much thought, she never imagined how it would be or planned to be special. But even in her non-imagination, she hadn’t expected it would happen—or not, let’s not get excited—in the Slytherin dorm room and with Draco insufferable Malfoy.

And right on cue, the door opens again, and before Hermione can cast the Disillusionment Charm again, she hears his voice.

“It’s me,” he says, entering the room and closing the door behind him. For a second Hermione wishes she could lock the other four boys out of their rooms. Draco finds her sitting on his bed and she blushes with the smile he gave her, “you are here,” he breathes, as if he can’t believe.

“Which must indicate I am turning mental.” She replies when he stops in front of her, he chuckles.

“Have I already said how beau—" he stops, “how these colors suit you much better?” He says instead, Hermione smiles all the same.

She shrugs, “Congratulations on the game,” it is her answer. She could have said he looked amazing on Quidditch robes, but she has a feeling that he knows that, because he is smirking, clearly aware of her ogling.

“I caught the Snitch,” he says smugly, standing inches from her, he is so close she has to look up to see his face.

“I saw.” She replies.

Draco removes the armbands and shrugs the green Quidditch cloak off, Hermione’s eyes travels up and down his body. He did look extra good in that green sweater and the beige pants that clung a bit on his thighs.

“Are you going to keep ogling me while I undress?” He asks, amusement clear on his voice. Hermione is so far out of her mind, that she doesn’t even blush.

“You do look good doing it.” It is her answer and he laughs, throwing his head back, giving Hermione a nice view of his throat.

When he looks at her again, his expression changes, his eyes darken, and Hermione is sure it is a reflection of her own.

“Granger—"

“I do remember you saying something about we using a bed.” She interrupts him and she relishes on his hungry expression.

He leans down, capturing her lips with his and lays on top of her on the bed, Hermione wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him hungrily.

Maybe it is the thrill, the knowledge of the fact they were breaking hundreds of rules and that someone might walk on them at any time, or being on a bed, but whatever it is, makes them more eager, their kiss more languid and their hands bolder. Hermione tugs off her borrowed Slytherin scarf and he removes his sweater along with the thin t-shirt he was wearing underneath.

“Too much clothing,” he says, his mouth on her chin, Hermione just nods and pulls the hoodie out of her, Draco’s excited hands helping her, “you are not wearing a bra.” He gasps, awed.

“It’s Saturday.” She shrugs, he shakes his head laughing.

They resume their kissing and she soon forgets all about how chilly the dorm room is, because their warmth is more than enough and their bare chests are pressed together, their limbs tangled.

Draco kicks off his boots and she does the same, “ouch, that’s my calf,” he mutters and she half-apologize, half-kisses him.

“What did you say to escape your own party?” She asks, the idea coming randomly on her head.

“Nothing important,” he replies absently, as his focus is now the trail of kisses on her shoulders.

Hermione gasps as he nips the sensitive skin there and he smirks, before kissing the spot, his mouth wanders on the expense of her body, she can hear him muttering something, but the words are lost to her as she relishes on the feeling of his mouth on her.

Her hands travel up and down his back, her nails marking the skin when he nips a little too hard on a particular area. Hermione is so focused on the mouth on her breasts that she misses his wondering hands reaching the button of her jeans, “can I?” He asks, looking at her and looking extremely sinful with his mouth still on her breasts and his tongue on her nipple.

She has lost her voice, so she just nods and gives a long moan when he sucks on her nipple and circles the overly sensitive skin with his tongue.

He doesn’t have trouble opening her jeans and she arches her hips to help him remove them. Draco removes his pants as well and throw both on the floor.

The moment he is on top of her again she wraps her legs around his waist and they both moan with the touch of their groins.

“So hot,” he whispers on her neck and snuggles on her hair, Hermione smiles softly at the action.

Draco is rocking on her small tummy and she pants, desperately for more, even though she has no idea of what, “Draco,” she moans, and she feels his dick twitch at the sound of his name.

“Why Granger, having you moaning my name pleasures me beyond reason?” He says with a smirk and she scoffs at him.

“Because you are a bastard.” He laughs at her words and she kisses his sinful mouth. 

The hand that was fondling her breast travels down her body and stops on her upper thighs, he spreads her legs open and Hermione closes her eyes, suddenly feeling too exposed.

His thumb brushes her snickers and she tenses, the weight of what they are about to do, coming down on her, she snaps her eyes open to find him already looking at her, waiting.

“Have you done it before?” He asks and Hermione’s heart explodes with the vulnerability of Draco’s voice, the innocence on his expression. He has a boyish look on his face, the eagerness of finally doing it but at the same time, uncertainty, and anxiety.

She shakes her head and he releases a small sigh. Hermione closes her eyes as the blush tinges her cheeks and she reaches his hand and places his fingers on her clit over her knickers. She might be a virgin, but she had explored before, she knows what it feels like to have an orgasm.

Draco, quickly understanding her idea, let his hand be guided and tentatively rubs his thumb over her clit from under her knickers, it's almost a feathery touch, but just from not being her own hand makes everything different. He takes in the sound she makes and starts to stimulate her, at first clumsy and it makes her frustrated because he often touches her just right before he's gone.

But Draco Malfoy is a fast learner, a good listener and a little shit, because he rips off her snickers and repeats the movements that made her gasp, alternating from slow to fast strokes, all along feeding on her breasts. He soon finds a rhythm that had her close to the edge and writhing on his expensive sheets. She moans loudly when one finger slips inside her wet folds and his thumb presses on her clit, “ _God_ ”

“Not yet,” the prick answers, Hermione can almost feel the smirk on his voice; she scowls and rolls her eyes.

Another finger enters alongside the first and she grasps the sheets hard, he is moving almost expertly now, she can’t help but roll her hips on his fingers and fuck herself on them. 

“Draco—ah, _god_ ” She cries and clenches around his finger, with a shiver that passes through her entire body and makes her curl her toes, she comes with a cry of his name.

“I think I found a new hobby.” it is the first thing he says and she laughs loudly, and a little bit crazed, still high with the wave of pleasure that had overcome her in her orgasm.

“Don’t wipe it on me.” She shrieks, and he ignores her, continuing to wipe his fingers on her hip.

He raises an eyebrow at her and led his slick fingers to his mouth and sucks them, she groans and rolls her eyes.

“You are awful.”

“I thought I was God.” He replies with a chuckle and she groans again, he doesn’t even know who God is. 

He leans down on top of her, each arm on one side of her head and stares down at her, Draco’s eyes are softer than she ever seen. Her hands are on his shoulders, her fingertips caressing his soft skin and realization washes over her. She doesn’t think she needs much more than his arms around her and the heat of his body and she’s been having these dangerous thoughts too often, so she kisses his cheek, because her lips better be occupied before she blurts something that will have him running away.

They kiss lazily, and Draco blindly draws the curtains around his bed closed and her heart skips a bit at what could’ve have happened if someone walked in just a minute ago.

Draco’s still rock hard on her leg and she reaches for him, he tenses immediately and she whispers, “Guide me through it.”

He nods meekly, and he strips down the only piece of clothing left, he covers her hand wrapped around him and gives a small tug.

She’s transfixed at the sight of him, Hermione doesn’t know much about male parts, but she doesn’t think Draco is small, not even close really, and it’s hard and hot against her palm and fingers, she instinctively gives a light squeeze and he moans and drops his head on her shoulder. He guides her hand up and down, slow at first and she squeals embarrassingly when pre-come covers their hands and Draco chuckles.

“Shut up,” she mumbles and swats his hand away from hers, to try it herself.

His breathing gets heavier on her shoulder and she knows he’s biting his lip to keep from making loud noises, but Hermione still can feel his moans on her neck.

“Merlin, yes—I, fuck.” He breathes and she picks up the rhythm, giving faster strokes and thumbing his head. 

Hermione is getting wet again, with the noises he is making and the way Draco’s body twitches in pleasure on top of her and a few strokes later he tenses and with a long throaty groan of her name, her first name, he comes, all over her hand and belly.

If there is anything left stopping her from absolutely falling for him, now there isn’t. Hearing him breathe her name, her first name, like that, so raw and so beautifully, made her not even care he was again, wiping come on her. 

But when he slicked hand wiped on her thigh she cared.

“Stop doing that,” she hisses, he smirks.

“No.” And he kisses her lips, but his hand eagerly finds her warmth again and starts stimulating her again.

“What—" she gasps and throws a leg around him, trying to get him closer, “—are you doing?”

“I think I developed an obsession,” he says hotly, on her ear.

“Obsessions are never healthy.” She replies, with a lot of difficulty as his fingers work beautifully on her.

“I don’t really care and—Oh what was that?” He says, his voice full of mirth, and she pulls on his hair.

It doesn’t take long for Hermione to come again, just as strong and overwhelming as the first time.

“If you—Draco! Why? Argh.” She shrieks as he runs his sticky fingers on her breasts, “Oh” and the complaint is lost when he licks clean the mess he made and again, sucks on his fingers.

He lays with his chest on the bed, half on the mattress, half on top of her, one arm carelessly thrown on top of her and their legs tangled together. Their breathing are synchronized and so are their heartbeats. Hermione finds it extremely pleasant.

“Do you know any contraceptive spells?” He asks her in a timid voice and she shakes her head.

“I know Madam Pomfrey has potions in the infirmary—"

“Really?” He asks excitedly, and she raises an eyebrow at him, “Not that I saying we will need it but—"

“I’m sure we will need it,” she confesses, and he snorts and soon they are both laughing at their ridiculousness.

After their laughter dies down, they remain in silence for what feels like hours only to be interrupted by the door opening.

Hermione tenses under Draco and he quickly grabs his wand. 

“ _Scourgify!_ ” Draco whispers, and their body are now clean from every sticky fluid.

“Salazar’s saggy balls! This room reeks of sex!” They hear Blaise loud voice and Draco rolls his eyes, Hermione blushes furiously. 

Draco pulls the blanket from the end of the bed and cover them both, making sure Hermione is completely covered. 

“Are they—" Theo starts, but is interrupted by Blaise.

“Of course, they are here! The shitty friends! If I can’t get my sleep because the pair of you are making improper noise—"

“The only one making improper noise is you.” Draco says, lazily and Hermione tries to shrink herself under the covers.

“Look at this mess! There clothes everywhere—"

“Will you shut up Zabini? Really!” Draco grits angrily and opens the curtain just enough to shoot a scathing look at Blaise direction, “ _Scourgify!_ ” He says again, this time pointing at the mess of clothes on the floor and watches as they start folding themselves. “ _Accio shirt!_ ” he says, and a white t-shirt comes flying from his trunk into his open hand.

Draco picks a sock from the floor, Transfigured it só it's now a knickers and with the two boys wolf-whistling and cat-calling, picks his discarded boxer from the floor and closes the curtains again, ignoring the boys.

“Here,” he hands her the t-shirt and the knickers, she eyes the thing warily, “it was the best I could do.”

“It’s okay,” she whispers and pulls both things on, “will we have to wait for Crabbe and Goyle sleep before I can leave?” She asks in a whisper.

“Stay,” he says, “they won’t bother us, I will sneak you out in the early morning, you will only risk yourself trying to get to your dorm.” 

“You sure?” She asks, and Draco’s only answer is to pull her closer to him and wrap his arm around her again, holding her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know the drill by now, please comment!


	22. Twenty Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! thank you for waiting! and again, thank you for all the lovely comments! it makes me really happy.

**February 20th, 1996. Slytherin Common Room. Day 472**

She stirs and tenses when she notices the warm body next to her. Her sleepiness leaves her confused for a few seconds and she looks around trying to understand what is going on. When she takes notice of silky green sheets and dark curtains, Hermione realizes where she is. In Draco’s four-poster bed tangled in forest-green blankets.

The warm body next to her is naked, only wearing boxer briefs and it belongs to a sleeping Draco Malfoy, who is snoring softly.

In the early morning, she can see the difference between Gryffindor's and Slytherin's dormitory. It's still pretty dark, while on the Gryffindor Tower, with the sun coming from the high windows, making it bright as soon as the sun touches the horizon. The Slytherins only get the strays’ rays of sunlight that reaches them from the lake.

Hermione finally realizes what had woken her up, as she can hear Crabbe’s and Goyle’s loud snores and Blaise’s and Theo’s snickering. She looks at Draco, he is sleeping serenely, on his side, without a trace of worry or sneer on his face and Hermione, still a bit sleepy, can’t help but touch his face.

Draco crunches his nose cutely and Hermione giggles lowly, covering her mouth with her hand, she does it again and Draco bats a hand on his face. Hermione kisses his cheek and slowly, a small smile appears on the boy’s face.

“Good morning.” He mumbles, his voice heavy with sleep.

“Morning.” She replies, he snuggles closer to her, hiding his face on her chest.

“My bed smells like you.”

“And my shirt smells like you.” She replies and he hums something on her neck.

“What time is it?”

“I have no idea. But Blaise and Theo are already awake.” She says, and he turns, his back now on the bed. He doesn’t seem to want to let her go, because he pulls her to his side and Hermione isn’t complaining really.

Draco normally isn’t one of cuddles, but apparently, his sleepy self is, so Hermione takes advantage of that.

“It must be after eight,” Draco says, “Vince and Greg’s Silencing Charms go out around that.”

“How does it work?” She asks, curious. Maybe she’d know how to cast one, as Lavender is a heavy snorer.

“I don’t know. It’s Professor Snape work really. He did it on the first year, only works from eleven at night till eight in the morning. And they can hear us talking but we can’t hear them if they are on their bed around that.”

“Cool.” 

“Yes, but we should get you out of here soon, it can’t be early, and your friends probably started to wonder where you are.” He says and Hermione nods, begrudgingly lifting her arm from around him and sitting on the bed.

The idea of Harry opening the Marauder’s Map and looking for her to only find her with Draco is dangerous.

“Morning,” Blaise says with a smirk as he throws their— _Draco’s_ —curtain open and she gapes at him, Draco swiftly covers her legs with the blanket.

“What’s your problem Blaise?” Draco asks angrily and gets up, going after their clothes and handing them to Hermione.

“Well, I was hoping to catch a glimpse of Granger’s—" but the rest of his words doesn’t leave his mouth, Hermione throws a Tongue-Tying Curse at him before he could.

“I so need to remember this one more often.” Theo says from his bed and they all watch Blaise struggle to talk with laughter in their eyes.

Draco puts Hermione clothes on the bed and she nods a thanks before pulling close the curtains to change.

It took them fifteen minutes to sneak Hermione out, Blaise had stammered back when she removed the spell and looked for people on the Common Room, while Theo stayed on the stairs to the dorms to see if anyone was on adjacent corridors and floors. After making sure the coast was clear, Hermione left the Common Room with Draco’s shirt still on under her hoodie, which is now Glamoured to have the color maroon instead of Slytherin-green.

She arrives at the Great Hall ten minutes before the Slytherin boys and the second she sits down next to Ginny, Harry and Ron bombards her with questions. Hermione manages to create an excuse of period cramps and having spent the night at the infirmary after Lavender and Parvati so nicely had pointed out how Hermione hadn’t slept in the dorm and haven’t seen her all day. Bless them.

Harry and Ron buys it all up, but it's Ginny who worries her, she keeps giving her suspicious looks and one-syllabic words answers. Hermione wonders once again if it would be that bad to tell Ginny everything.

 

**March 5th, 1996. First Floor Hidden Alcove. Day 485**

“We need to be more careful.” She hisses.

“No one saw us.”

“But they could have! We are just outside McGonagall classroom! What if someone hears us?”

“They will if you don’t stop screeching!” He whispers and pulls off the band holding her hair in a bun, Hermione huffs as her hair falls onto her face. Draco, looks awed at her and it makes her blush, “come on, you could always Vanish me if we hear someone, I saw how good you are with those.”

“But I haven’t mastered making them appear again, nice idea, be done with you—"

“Please,” he scoffs, “you can’t go a day without me anymore.”

“Don’t be so full of yourself!”

“You are still, here aren’t you?” He asks with a raised eyebrow.

Hermione narrows her eyes and leaves.

 

**March 10th, 1996. Library. Day 490**

“Draco, really,” she hears Blaise’s annoyed voice and stops on her tracks, “this is the first time in forever we are alone, and you want to talk about her, again.”

“But Blaise, you don’t understand—"

“I do. Really mate, you talk about her so much there’s no way I couldn’t understand.” Hermione blushes; she has the feeling they are talking about her.

“Blaise, have you seen her?” Draco asks, and he sounds exasperated.

“Constantly.” It's Blaise’s reply. 

“I don’t know what to do Blaise, I don’t know how to act, she’s nothing like the Slytherin girls, and she doesn’t have a clue about our codes so she just steps over them two at a time,” he sighs, “she doesn’t even realize what she’s doing to me—"

“I’m pretty sure she has an inkling--”

“Blaise, there’s nothing like her, nothing! She’s exquisite! It’s like she’s a wild thing—"

“Don’t let her hear you calling her that—"

“She’s a natural disaster of a girl, she always has ink stains on the underside of her wrists and under her fingers—Her hair Merlin, I’ve always mocked her for it but there’s nothing I adore more—I mean, it’s a mess and she’s always mad at it but—"

“I’ve heard it all Draco, please.” Blaise is begging and even though none of them can see her, she is blushing.

“It’s like there’s an entire universe inside her—"

“Salazar help me.” Blaise mutters, groaning.

“And her eyes are planets and her freckles are constellations and I don’t understand—" and he sounds angry now, “I don’t know what are these things she makes me feel and think.”

“Mate, you wax poetic about her, how can’t you not understand?”

“But I don’t!” He is angry now, slightly desperate, “I have no idea what this is!” A very long pause, Hermione feels dread forming on the pit of her stomach, “I mean, it’s nothing right? We are just fucking around, we are not even together for fucks sake!” His voice is strained, a little too high.

“Mate,” Blaise says he’s kinder now, without the annoyed tone, “don’t—"

“What? Come on Blaise, you know I’m right, we are nothing,” Draco chuckles menacingly and her heart sinks, “and we won’t ever be, imagine what people would say if they knew I am with her?”

And suddenly Hermione has listened to enough; she scurries away from that corner of the library.

 

**March 23th, 1996. Courtyard. Day 503**

Hermione guessed Draco knew something was wrong, the others surely did, but she wasn’t avoiding them no, she was just spending a lot of with Harry and Ron, not to mention she was busy with the D.A meetings and all the reading for D.A.D.A. 

It was really hard to look at his face after what she heard. The only reason it wasn’t harder was that Draco also seemed to be avoiding her.

She wasn’t thinking about that, no. She understood really, he was right, they weren’t together, they were nothing, they were only having fun, it was casual.

Okay, she is the brightest witch of her age; she’s not going to fool herself. Hermione had fallen for him, she knew that, but it was casual for him, so she wouldn’t be the stupid one to say anything to him or make a big deal of it.

Hermione doesn't seen him coming, while enjoying the sun with Harry and Ron, a book on her lap as the boys discuss Quidditch tactics. So the moment she hears his voice, she jumps.

“How does it feel Potter? To be adored again? Couldn’t have people thinking you were barking mad right? So, you went and outdone yourself.”

“Sod off Malfoy.” Ron snaps.

“Weasel, when you learn how to speak properly, perhaps.”

“Did I hit a nerve Malfoy?” Harry asks, squaring his shoulders. “Does your Death Eater daddy didn’t like what I said about him?”

“You are going to get what you deserve Potter, this won’t end here!”

“And what exactly do you plan to do?” It is her turn to speak, she is angry with him and him threatening her best friend doesn't do much to help.

“This was your idea, wasn’t it?” He asks, his eyes narrowed, “I bet you planed it all. Between the three of you, you are the only one with half a brain.”

“Get out of here.” She says and the bell indicating the next class rings right after.

“Let’s go Hermione, he’s not worth it.” Ron says and pulls her up, Hermione thinks Draco’s eyes are going to burn Ron’s hand off her arm.

 

**March 25th, 1996. Library. Day 505**

“You heard us that day in the library, didn’t you?” Blaise asks, his voice barely a whisper.

It's the first time she's around the Slytherins after that day in the library, but not because she had a say in the matter, but because Blaise, Theo, Daphne and shockingly, Pansy, had decided to study at the same table as her.

“What?” She asks shocked.

“You are ignoring all of us, I can’t think of a thing other than that. Draco says he has no idea either, so—"

“Draco has no idea about a lot of things apparently,” she bites out and Blaise raises an eyebrow at her.

“So, it was that day at the library.”

“It was nothing.”

“Are you going to keep quoting him or talk about it like a mature person?”

“What there’s left for me to talk about? I’ve heard enough.”

“Clearly, you didn’t hear all of it.”

“Ooh! Are we talking about the silence treatment?” Daphne asks, her heated look clashing with the smile on her face.

“There’s nothing to talk about—"

“There’s plenty! We have nothing to do with your boyfriend—"

“He’s not my boyfriend” She says the same time Pansy huffs loudly.

“—And you are being stupid for taking out on us.”

“I’m not doing anything! I’ve been busy, that’s all!”

“She heard Draco and I talking about her and she heard things that wasn’t very nice now she’s angry with him.” Blaise says and Hermione huffs indignantly.

“That’s not what happened! But anyway,” she searches frenetically in her mind for something, anything, to change the subjects. “So Pansy, Malfoy said you had some ideas for S.P.E.W” Hermione asks bitterly, and she notices Blaise biting his lip to keep from laughing. Good.

Parkinson remains silent.

For the first few weeks after Christmas, Parkinson gave her the silent treatment and kept staring at her with hate in her eyes. The first time Pansy ever talked to her was after the game. Hermione was sure it was Daphne’s presence that made her do it.

“I do.” The raven-haired girl replies sharply.

“I’d like to hear it.” She says stiffly.

“You should focus on the individual’s choice in this matter rather than generalizing them. It’s not because you know a elf who hated the job, that he speaks for all of them—"

“I know that, I—"

“I’m not finished.” She interrupts back, “as I was saying, you should use S.P.E.W to give voice for those who wish to start making independent and lucrative lives and not to force those who like as it is in doing something they do not wish to do. Also, you could go for educate both the wizarding world and the elf communities, so wizards begin to offer payment and clothes and the elves can know their rights and can make a decision that’s right for them.”

Hermione is quiet for a while, thinking about Pansy’s ideas and shocked to see how much thought the girl had put in it.

“That’s—Amazing!” She blurts, “I mean, it’s a really good idea!”

“I know. It was mine.” She says, the other three Slytherin snort.

Hermione doesn’t reply to that, she is glad the topic was changed for good and they all were talking about S.P.E.W, all of them had Elves in their houses and were giving Hermione ideas for her work and telling stories about their elves.

Pansy abruptly leaves almost an hour later after realizing she had just laughed to something Hermione had said. She almost calls for Pansy to return, as she knows the earlier topic is doomed to come back.

“What did you hear that day?” Blaise asks, proving Hermione right.

“Until the part where he said what people would think of him with someone like me.” She says, hating how bitter her voice sounded.

“He said what?” Daphne asks, her face hard.

“That we were nothing and that we won’t ever be anything else, it’s just fucking around. He really did emphasize the part about us being nothing.”

“And here I was thinking Draco had finally removed that wand from up his arse.”

“Daphne!” Theo reprimands, which only makes Blaise laugh harder.

It is a miracle Madam Pince hasn’t appeared to shoo them away.

“He said that yes,” Blaise starts, after wiping his eyes from laughter, “but he said a lot of nice things too, nauseating things, and after that particularly nasty bit I called him out on it and he said another very nice thing.”

“Are you going to elaborate, or you are waiting for us to ask what the hell are you talking about?” Daphne asks and Hermione smiles at the girl. She's getting very fond of the Slytherin girl.

“Granger, you must understand Draco wasn’t raised to believe in love, his family is filled with arranged marriage for generations, he doesn’t understand what he’s feeling and what you heard, was him being defensive—"

“Draco can be particularly nasty and a bit vile when he’s on defensive.” Theo complies,

“—See? Even Theo agrees! Of course, it’s not an excuse, but he’s terrified Granger. He knows you deserve the world, and Draco seems determined to give you the world plus a few galaxies just for good luck, even if he doesn’t understand why he’s feeling this way” 

“Blaise—"

“I’m serious! Just don’t let him use that awful line about his name being a star—"

“That’s what get him the girls.” Theo says and it’s Daphne who snorts.

“—And don’t let him start on his comparisons about your skin and the milky-way.”

“It’s explained how Granger is his first.” Theo says again but Daphne isn’t laughing anymore, she has love-dopey eyes.

“You never said that to me!” She says to Theo, who groans. 

Madam Pince finally shoos them away from her library after Blaise scandalous laughter.

 

**April 4th, 1996. Room of Requirement. Day 515**

She is so angry, so angry, that she doesn’t care about the obvious detention she is going to get already, but she wants to hex Draco’s pretty face to oblivion. 

How could he? She knew he was still angry about the interview and the heavy accusation on his father, because the occasional retorts about it every time he crossed them was clear, but she had trusted him to not tell what he knew. 

She so would deal with him later, but for now, she had to get the hell away from that floor before Umbridge caught her.

 

April 4th, 1996. Great Hall. Day 515

She hisses after the third time writing ‘I must not disobey the minister’ on the parchment, her hand is beginning to have the words craved and all she can think about – besides the essence of murlap back at the dorm – is about how mad she is at Draco.

He still had to talk to her alone since that day at the library, Hermione had figured whatever they were doing had come to its end, but she still talked to the others Slytherins and Blaise said Draco was being a bigger pain in the ass than usual, always complaining and the dark-skinned beauty had the nerve to say it was her fault and she ought to do something about it.

Oh, but she was going to.

“Headmistress Umbridge,” speaking on the devil. “Can I have a word?”

“Of course, Draco dear, come on in.” She says in a fake sweetly voice and Draco enters the Great Hall, dozens of angry eyes glare in his direction as the entire D.A. did detention.

“Headmistress, Professor Snape asks for Granger presence in the dungeons, he says he has a most pleasant detention for her.” Draco says, and Hermione’s eyes widen.

“But surely, Professor Snape must know where Miss Granger is at the moment—”

“He knows Headmistress, but he insists.”

“Most pleasant detention, you say?” She asks, her eyes twinkling in possibilities. “Okay then. Miss Granger, get up and follow Draco down to the dungeons.”

“I prefer to stay Headmistress.” She replies, not wanting to go anywhere with Draco right now. 

Her face must have shown how much she doesn’t want to leave because Umbridge smiles sadistically and Hermione realizes it was the wrong thing to say. Umbridge would see that as fear and of course would be thrilled with the prospects.

“It’s a good thing I didn’t ask about your preferences Miss Granger, now get up and leave, right now.”

Hermione nods and sulking, leaves the Great Hall, Draco’s steps can be heard behind her.

“I think I deserve a thanks,” he says smugly once they are out of earshot. She turns around so fast he almost stumbles on her.

“You are a right prat, you know that, right?” She asks in a dangerous voice, “you sold us out! This is your fault! This—" she shows him her hand, and watches as he flinches, “it’s your fault!”

“You did that interview! I know it was your idea! You had that woman in a jar for the summer! You didn’t care about me, or Theo when Potty were saying all those names!”

“I didn’t think about you that time! All I wanted was to people stop believing the shit the Prophet was saying and calling Harry bonkers!”

“You didn’t think?” His pale face is now red with anger.

“No! I forgot about it! It didn’t cross my mind that he was your father and anyway, he was there Draco, he watched, as Harry was tortured! He is a Death Eater!”

“No one has proofs! There’s not a single proof against him! You can’t put him in Azkaban!”

“This is not about him! Can’t you see? It’s not about you or your father; I don’t want to put him in Azkaban! I want people knowing the truth! I want people to know that Voldemort—" she rolls her eyes as he flinches, “—Is back!”

“People are talking! They are calling me names! And it’s because of you!”

“How dare you?” She shrieks, “How dare you blame me for people calling you names when you call me names?”

“I haven’t! In ages! You know that Granger! Why do you always bring this back?” He asks exasperated, “I know what I did and what I called you! I’ve stopped, I’ve changed!”

“You said it Draco, I heard it, you said,” she says, her voice now a whisper and her eyes fills with tears.

“What are you talking about?” He asks, taken aback after her sudden change of behavior.

“Imagine what people would say if they knew I am with her?” She quotes, fat tears streaming down her face, “they’d talk wouldn’t they? They’d think you went insane.”

His eyes widen, realization dawning on his expressions, finally understanding the last three weeks.

“No” he shakes his head, “it wasn’t about this, about your heritage, no,” he shakes his head again, “you are the Gryffindor Princess, the Golden Girl, The Brightest Witch Of Your Age, Harry Potter’s Best Friend, the only people who cares about heritage are purebloods, the rest of the world couldn’t care less—it’s about who I am, you said it too, I’m the son of a Death Eater, a Malfoy, how was it? What they say? You will never find one at the scene of the crime, though their fingerprints might be all over the guilty wand?”

“You are not your father.”

“No? How can you be so sure?”

“I know.”

“But I am his name.”

“A name doesn’t mean anything,” she says, he scoffs. 

The boy in front of her is completely different from the one she had last kissed.

“It means everything Granger, don’t try to full yourself, we are at war, in a war where people kill for a name, an idea.”

“What are we doing?” She asks.

She needs to know, she can’t keep whatever this is without knowing.

“We are fighting.” He replies, smugness as it finest.

“Draco…” She says, tiredly. 

“I don’t know,” he says, and he looks down, to her shoes, “I won’t ever be your knight in shining armor, or the one to bring your flowers, or the one you can hold anytime you want.”

Hermione looks at him and the words get stuck on her throat, because she knows Draco doesn’t feel the same and it tears her apart. Hermione thinks he knows what she feels and that’s why he said that, because he doesn’t want the way she looks at him.

But he’s still here, he’s still close and it must mean something, because he hasn’t left, and he knows she’s not going anywhere either.

So, she puts on a smile, it’s a little bit sad, but it’s the best she can manage right now, and says:

“I’m fine with that.” 

Hermione pretends she doesn’t notice the way the nearest portrait looks at her sadly. 

It’s a painting, what does it knows?

 

**April 17th, 1996. Professor Merrythought Office. Day 528**

In Hermione’s opinion things are better, doesn’t matter what Blaise says and the looks Theo gives her. Her and Draco still meet almost every day, be it in here or in empty classrooms and hidden alcoves. They still kiss with a passion and make out like the world is ending, but it’s not the same. 

January and February felt like they were on a honeymoon, it was the softest of touches, gentle smiles and too much poetry, but now - even with Hermione refusing to admit it hurts a bit – it’s casual.

March had changed something, Hermione suspects it’s because they are aware of having feelings for each other, so they pretend they don’t, they pretend they don’t like the kissing even though it always leave them panting and with a few pieces of clothing left. They had taken to scowling at the other after a kiss, as if it was an outrage and the bickering, Merlin, how did they bicker.

“McGonagall is mad,” Blaise says after the millionth time, “five pages in one day! She’s mad!”

“She assigned on Friday Blaise, tomorrow is Tuesday.” She says, not even looking up from her essay.

“But everyone knows Saturday and Sunday doesn’t count!”

“Stop complaining, it’s not that hard.” Draco says

“It’s not that hard!” He scoffs, “easy for you to say, with Granger over your head whispering you answers!”

“I’m not!” They both reply at the same time, offended at the idea.

“I don’t need her help Blaise.” Draco says, sitting up from her legs and looking affronted.

“Sure.”

They remain in silence for a while, focusing on the assignment McGonagall gave them, she had almost finished hers, only revising everything and adding things she remembered. Theo had already finished his and was working on his Charms essay; Hermione guessed it was different from hers, as they didn’t share that class.

“Stop breaking its point!” Draco sneers, after Blaise broke yet another point of the graffiti, “it’s a miracle that you know how to write in quills with the amount of force you use in a pencil!”

Hermione looks at Draco and smiles at the scene, the blond is teaching Blaise how to use a pencil without breaking its point every few letters. She has the feeling Blaise knows exactly how to use one, but he loves to sharpener it for whatever reason.

She loves seeing him using muggle things and being so natural with them, it makes him closer to her reality, not a pureblood, not someone who never set foot in muggle London. Hermione smiles again when she remembers he has Romeo and Juliet and his bag and even though he spends more time complaining than actually reading.

Theo nudges her side and she looks at him, he has a pointed look on his face and she blushes, being caught again. The drawing he gave her and his words _‘I’ve seen how you look at him like you want to frame it forever’_ pops on her mind.

“Have you seen this?” She asks him, trying to not dwell on his knowing look, and pulls out of her bag three highlighters, one yellow, one green and one red.

“What is this?”

“I use these to study for the exams, it works much better here than back home, see—" she highlights a line on the book and he gasps at her, “it’s useful to mark important passages, this way I don’t need to write them down to remember it, and after I’m done, I just need to—Scourgify! And it’s gone”

“That’s awesome! The amount of time I spend copying everything down from the books is ridiculous!”

“Yes! I used to carry around so many books in the first two years for me to study but then I brought them when we started our electives and it’s so much easier!”

“I can highlight the important ingredients in Potions, so I won’t skip them—"

“And the Transfiguration equations—"

“Not to mention the Arithmancy charts—"

“Look at them, getting all flustered about colors and subjects, what a pair of Ravenclaws.” Blaise says and both Theo and Hermione looks at the other two, slightly blushed on the cheeks and wide, crazy smile on their faces.

“You terrify me sometimes, you know that, right?” Draco asks her, and she smiles widely again, because she knows he hates it. Draco grins and there’s affection in his eyes that makes her insides warm.

She scoots closer to him, because she’s a lost cause and can’t help it, but he only wraps an arm on her shoulder and kisses her head, so she knows she’s not the only one.

“Disgusting,” obviously, it’s Blaise. “But Granger I very much like these things, what are they called? I want ten.”

“You are absurd! It’s highlighters and I don’t have ten, I have three.”

“Bugger.”

“Geminio!” Hermione tries, and watches happily as the highlighters duplicated themselves

“This is N.E.W.T level! This is absurd Granger!” Blaise exclaims.

“Well, try it, see if it works!” She opens the red one and traces a small line and beams, “I did good! I’ve been practicing for a while now, it’s been tricky, but I think I finally managed it.”

“This is brilliant! Theo says, and picks one, “Geminio!” He tries, but just the cap of the pen duplicates, “Bugger, teach me this later will you?” She just nods as she does it again.

“I color-code my notes with them,” she starts with a blush, most of her friends made fun of her for that, “I use green for the things I’ve already studied and understood, yellow for the ones I still have some doubts or didn’t fully understand and red for the ones I have more difficulty and still need to study”

“You. Are. Brilliant. What else? What other muggle thing you have for us mere mortals and falling behind in studying methods?” Blaise asks, his eyes wide and excited, the rest of them laugh.

“This.” She replies smugly and hands them sticky notes and bookmarks.

“I have no idea what this is, but I already love it.” Blaise says eagerly and snatches them from her hands.

“These are bookmarks, they have different colors and people usually make their own coding system for each color, you stick just part of it in the end in the page, so you can easily find when you close the book.” 

“Granger, tell me more, enlighten us.” Blaise really should try theatre someday.

She sets on explaining everything to them, how they worked and how she used them, she helped them come up with a coding system. She’s excited, she loves talking about school and studying. Hermione vaguely wonders if Harry and Ron had even opened their homework planner.

Sometime during her explanation, Draco had pulled her to the middle of his legs and was resting his head on her shoulder watching as she explained and helped the others. His arms are hugging her from behind and he occasionally left small kisses on her neck or smelled her curls. 

She loves every second of it, their proximity, his arms wrapped in front of her, the beating of his heart on her back and his chin on her shoulder. Hermione leans her head in his direction, resting on his and sighs contently. She almost voices how much she loves being wrapped up on him but thinks better of it. 

Hermione’s afraid to tell him all the things that she loves about him in fear that he would feel uncomfortable, that he’d brush her off. But what terrifies her most is, that if she ever gets the guts to tell him that she loves him, he will cut her off like a silly string.

But she wants nothing more than to tell him, let him know that love is real and that she loves him and that the people that made him believe he couldn’t ever love her are wrong and cruel and she wants to slay them all. But Hermione is not that brave, she loves him, and she wants him where he is, so and she can’t risk losing him because she feels too much.

It’s almost dinner when they finish their assignments, the one hour between the dreadful D.A.D.A and dinner proved really useful as they all pack their things and stretch their limbs from sitting on the floor, the sofa too small for the four of them and the table too formal, as Blaise had put.

“You are a terrible liar.” Theo whispers to her.

“How did you know? Back then I mean, you hadn’t seen us together and the drawing--”

“Granger, I knew how much you loved him from the first time I heard you say his name.” He explains, and squeezes her arm, Hermione looks away.

“I have to love him quietly,” she says when she thinks he’s out of earshot. But Theo hears and turn around, “it has to be in lingering touches, hidden glances, subtle smirks and exaggerated fits of laughter.”

“But you shouldn’t have to Hermione.” And Theo calls her by her name, and she knows he’s serious.

“But it fills me with a tingling happiness, a mischievous contempt in knowing I love him softly and with everything I have even when he doesn’t want me to, because it makes me feel like I’m winning in a game he doesn’t know he’s playing.”

 

**April 20th, 1996. Room of Requirement. Day 531**

He flashes her his Inquisitorial Squad badge for what seems to be the hundredth time today. She finally caves to his obvious intention of making her comment on it. “Does it stand for Idiotic?”

“Now, now Granger, Gryffindor won’t have any other points by the end of the term if you don’t behave.” He says with a smirk and a raise in his left eyebrow that sends chills to her spine and gives her a nagging thought that points wouldn’t be the only thing affected by her lack of behavior.

“Well, you clearly seem to be enjoying yourself taking points off everyone for anything.”

“Let’s not forget the points I took from your friends today.” He says and sniggers, she narrows her eyes angrily.

“You took 15 points from me today!” She sneers and swats his arm with a pillow, “and you called me a—"

“I’m sorry for that.” He apologizes, “I went to apologize to you the minute I was alone again. Vince and Greg are suspicious—" she starts to open her mouth to say how that was no excuse, but he is faster, “I know it’s no excuse. I didn’t know what to do! I’m sorry Granger.” He says honestly, she sighs.

“Why you don’t follow Blaise and Theo’s example? Why you must be so eager to make everyone’s life a living hell?” She asks exasperatedly, and he looks offended, the prat.

“Because, love, I’m not the bigger person.” He explains and collapses on the sofa on top of her with a horrid smile on his face. She wants to kiss it.

Love. The nickname is the newest addiction to their non-relationship, he called her love for the first time on Tuesday and she almost dropped all her ink on her uniform. It took a few times, but she doesn’t react so strongly anymore, her heart only skips a bit or two.

“What do you want?” She asks, making a show of being annoyed, he ignores her completely. 

“I’m bored.” He admits the obvious, his face is inches away from hers, she can count the small speckles of blue on his eyes.

“It was your idea to patrol the floors separately, so we would finish early.”

“Yes but, I had another idea for what to do in our free time than to watch you read!”

“Annoying me to death?”

“Please love,” he scoffs, “I’m entertaining you.”

“Clearly we have different point of view in what’s entertaining.”

“Kiss me, Granger."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are almost halfway on the fic!! well, I have up to chapter forty-five oops?? I hope you hang in there because this is a long journey!!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter and please, leave a comment.


	23. Twenty Three

**April 25th, 1996. Room of Requirement. Day 536**

“Blaise kissed the Weaslette again,” Draco says, and it’s muffled, because his head is buried on her breasts, Hermione only snorts, sometimes, she can’t believe this boy.

It takes her a few seconds to answer, because she’s still panting and her legs twitch from her orgasm. “That’s what, fourth time now?”

“Fifth,” he replies, raising his head to look at her. “What does she says about that?”

“She’s in constant denial. Only talks about him if it’s bad-mouthing, she swears the last time was the last time.”

“Do you think she has feelings for him?”

“No. I think it’s a lot of sexual tension involved and the fact that her boyfriend is awful.”

“Good. Because Blaise doesn’t do feelings or one person, or one genre.” Hermione only laughs and when Draco drops his head back on her chest, she goes back to running her fingers in it.

She gasps when two fingers touch her clit and he smirks on her skin. She was so lost in thoughts that she didn’t notice his caresses slowly getting lower.

“Can we go again?” He asks, his eyes on her and a boyish smile on her, the unsatisfied look on his eyes. 

He covers her lips with his and she closes her eyes automatically, opening her mouth to give his tongue a better access. It is amazing what his kiss can do to her, how quickly her body react to his touch.

She loves getting lost on his kiss, because it always felt like an explosion of sensations: his tongue with hers, his fingers working expertly on her clit, his arousal in her stomach and his chest pressed against her. It is too much and too intense and she always forgets herself every time he touches her like this. 

Hermione isn’t embarrassed about the sounds she makes anymore, she doesn’t blush after the whimper she lets out when his teeth nibble on her lower lip at the same time two fingers enter her.

“Touch me,” he mutters on her chin and she complies promptly, her hands slipping from his hair to his shoulders and then his back, her nails marking the way till his lower back.

She presses closer to him and relishes in the fact that he’s rutting on her stomach and gasping incoherent words, going crazy in arousal.

Hermione pushes him off her and pull him down to the mattress, climbing on top of him and straddling him, the smile he gives her could put Hogwarts to the ground.

Her hands travel up and down on his chest, his slightly toned abs and the fine hairs on his navel. Draco looks like what bodies were invented for.

She grinds on him and he growls, grabbing her ass and pressing her harder against him, Hermione feels like she’s going to explode, it’s too much but at the same time is not even enough. 

“Draco,” she moans, because she can’t say what she wants, “please.”

He nods, “Do you think the Room will—" he doesn’t need to finish his sentence, because the next moment, a condom appears on the bedside table beside them.

Hermione grabs it and with trembling fingers hands it to Draco.

“This is a muggle condom; do you know how to—" she bites her lip when she notices the look on Draco’s face; he ignores her and puts the condom on.

“Are you sure?” He asks and his hands softly strokes her thighs.

“Yes.”

They turn on the bed again, he on top of her as he carefully spread her legs and positions himself between her, his head barely touching her entrance, he looks at her and she nods.

“Tell me if it hurts too much.”

He presses in slowly and she hisses as her walls ache, he tries again after another nod from her, her hands balling the sheets. She tries to relax, to make herself calm and if she didn’t love him before, she surely would have fallen for him right now, as he mutters soothing words in her ear and the hand not guiding his dick strokes her cheek.

They are both panting even before he's completely inside, too awed about what they were doing, they lock eyes and he grins at her, she chuckles at the knowledge that they are still kids all too eager to have their first time.

“This feels weird,” he whispers but his eyes are clear and it amazes her how many shades of grey is in his eyes.

“It’s supposed to get better once we start moving.” She tries and she’s blushing.

“Did you read that on a book?”

“Shut up,” she mutters and turns her face to the side, trying to hide her blush.

Draco kisses her cheek. “Can I move? Did it stop hurting?” 

She just nods twice, and he tries a tentative move, “Draco, I won’t break.” 

He scowls and rolls his eyes but moves inside her with more strength. 

It’s still weird and she doesn’t understand if this is it but as Draco’s movements grow more constant and quicker, he starts groaning on her ear and she can feel his shoulders getting tense.

He bits on her shoulder and changes his aim, making her gasp in pleasure as he hit a special spot inside her, “do that again, please.”

And he does, and she groans again, “yes, there,” he focuses on that spot, thrusting in and out in a constant rhythm that has her closer to the edge fast. Hermione wraps her legs around him and both groan when the position allow Draco to bury himself deeper inside of her. His hand now follows the movements of his hips, stimulating her clit as his dick hits her spot over and over again, “Draco, _God_ , yes.”

“I’m so close, fuck,” he breaths on her ear and his thrust has become erratic and she can feel him shaking on top of her, so she fucks herself on him, helping them both, “I want you this close forever,” he whispers in her hair and Hermione gasps, it’s suddenly too much and she might be hearing things, “I hate when we are not together and I hate how I can’t make you mine, but mostly, I hate whoever made the world bigger than the space enough for both of us.”

And she’s coming, hard, with a strangled scream in her throat and she loves him so much she’s afraid of what will do to her, but he’s coming too, crying her first name over and over again, like a prayer and she wonders how she can ever leave this bed.

He’s still inside of her and she doesn’t mind one bit, the sound of his heart beating fast against her and his heavy breathing is soothing and everything she cares about.

“So this is sex,” he says after what could have been hours.

“Yes,” she replies and looks at him beside her.

They just had sex and are still naked, both on top of the sheets and she’s blushing because he’s holding her hand.

He turns on his side, not letting go of the hand he’s holding, and she mirrors him and covers his eyes as he ogles her breasts pressed together.

“You are the best thing that happened to me Granger,” he says in a whisper and she snuggles closer to him and keeps quiet, because she’s afraid of what he might say if she opens her mouth.

 

**April 30th, 1996. Slytherin Boys’ Dorm. Day 541**

“What are the odds of us being caught?” She asks, they are all sat together in a circle on the floor of the boys’ dorms, with Crabbe and Goyle sleeping heavily on their beds.

Draco and Blaise had put Sleeping Draught on their night-time snacks and they fell instantly asleep and would remain that way for hours. Hermione keeps to herself the day she did the same thing to them.

“High. But who cares?” Blaise asks and pass the firewhiskey bottle to Pansy.

“And anyway, there’s three prefects in here, two are Slytherins and every occupant of this dorm is here—"

“Cheers Vince! Cheers Greg!” Blaise cackles and they all laugh along.

They all are halfway to drunkenness; even Hermione is dizzy as the bottle keeps being handed to her.

Theo is a horny drunk and so is Daphne, they were currently snogging and seem unaware of the rest of their friends; Pansy is much more likable drunk, thing Hermione had just blurted out.

“Well Granger, since I’m drunk, I don’t hate you as much as I do when I’m sober and I can even accept the fact that you are stealing all my friends.”

“She said you weren’t all that bad once.” Daphne says, her lips still half on top of Theo’s.

“Disgusting Daph, where are your manners, your class? What happened to you waiting for marriage?”

“I’m with my future husband Pansy-pants, there’s nothing wrong about that.”

“Don’t call me that!” She hisses but they are all laughing, “Yeah, yeah, and really funny.”

“Don’t get mad Pansy-pants, let’s all play a game!” Blaise says, laughter on his voice, “What do you lot say?”

“I’m in!” all the Slytherins agree

“Granger is in too, she’s a Gryffindor, and so she doesn’t have a choice.” Blaise says and drowns more of the bottle before handing it to Draco.

“Let’s go with Have Never I Ever,” Daphne squeals happily and removes herself from Theo’s lap and goes for the shot glasses, filling them before returning to Theo’s side, “I start! Have Never I Ever gone skinny dipping!”

“Bleh, not original.” Blaise says and downs his shot, Draco does the same and both boys high-five each other.

“When? And why I missed this?” Pansy asks with wide eyes,

“Summer third year, the lake back home, Blaise had dropped the Quaffle inside it and since we couldn’t use magic we had to swim to get it and Mother had precisely said we couldn’t play Quidditch while she was away, so we took off our clothes and jumped in, we were stark in the grass while we dried in the sun.”

“I can’t believe I missed this.” Pansy sighs and her shoulders slouch.

“Ok, my turn,” Theo says, trying to stop laughing at Pansy’s reaction. “Have Never I Ever kissed an older girl, or boy.”

“Wait, wait,” Blaise says, “when you mean older you have a number in mind or it’s just ‘older than you’-older?”

“’Older than you’-older.”

Blaise, Draco, Pansy and Hermione drank. Daphne squeals delighted and claps her hands.

“Hermione! Spill it out! You wicked girl!”

“It was just a peck really!” She says, embarrassed, “there wasn’t tongue!”

“Who? Was him a muggle boy? And do they kiss differently? Or was it an older student? Remember that Gryffindor captain? Oliver something? He was delicious!” Daphne inquires, Theo merely looks at his girlfriend with a raised eyebrow.

“No! It was Krum.” She says, in a small voice.

“WHAT?” Both girls and Draco ask together.

“You and Krum? Oh, my merlin! He was so hot, Granger you lucky girl!”

“You didn’t tell me that!” Draco says, “and you said he wasn’t your boyfriend!”

“But he wasn’t! And it was just small kisses! Draco, don’t pout, my first real kiss was with you.” she says, fluttering her eyelashes and flicking at his pouted lips. He rolls his eyes.

“You were fifteen and he was eighteen, it’s gross.” He says, still pouting and with furrowed brows.

“And who was your kiss?”

“You,” he replies and Daphne and Blaise ‘aw-d’ at them, “you are ten months older than me.”

She beams at him and smacks his lips, not even caring about his—their—friends around.

“Pansy, who was yours?” Theo asks

“I’m not telling!”

“Spoil-sport! Come on Pans!” Draco calls,

“No! Blaise your turn! Who was it?”

“Who remembers Mum’s husband Number Seven?”

“Was him the Turkish Minister?” Daphne asks

“No, he was Number Four. Was him the rich entrepreneur from Angola?” Blaise only smirks at Draco and Hermione jaw drops, along everyone else’s, “No way! Merlin Blaise, how _old_ was he?”

“You go boy! He was a fine piece of ass! Daph, remember those biceps and that accent? Salazar’s snakes, his smile!” Pansy swoons and makes a show of feeling hot.

“He was thirty-three and poor thing, barely spoke English, didn’t understand what was happening half of the wedding, but he understood perfectly afterwards.”

“Gross!” Theo and Draco echoed, “you were what? Fourteen?” Draco adds,

“I had just turned fifteen and he was a gentleman.”

“Blaise he was a pedophile.”

“Come on Hermione, it was all me, he didn’t speak English and I said with the best straight face I could manage and a perfect polished Portuguese ‘aqui na Inglaterra nós beijamos nossos padrastos em sinal de aprovação’ and smacked my lips on his, he was pretty confused, and he didn’t move, it was just a peck actually.”

“Do we want to know what you said in Portuguese?” Theo asks.

“Here in England we kiss our father-in-laws in sign of approval,” he explains smugly, and they all fall on each other laughing. "But really, it was mostly harmless fun, I just wanted to annoy my mother. she knew by then how I hated those weddings and I knew he wouldn't last long anyway." He says easily and no one bats an eye, Hermione can only think about the rumors regarding Mrs. Zabini wealth.

“Ok, Draco, it’s your turn,” Pansy says, still lying on the floor, her legs up and resting on the side of Blaise’s bed.

“Have Never I Ever spied on the opposite-sex bathroom.” He says and Hermione watches gleefully as Blaise, Daphne and Pansy all drink another shot.

“Blaise, explain, now.” Pansy asks in narrowed eyes.

“Girl, your body is a masterpiece.” He says with a lascivious wink and Pansy shudders.

“Disgusting!”

“And who did the two of you were spying?” Theo asks, now finally perturbed by his girlfriend antics.

“You, boyfriend dearest,” Daphne says sweetly, “I had just been told we were betrothed and Pansy said we needed to see if your package was worth it and I was most impressed.” She explains and Pansy snorts, Hermione, who is beside her, vaguely hears Pansy muttering ‘liar’ under her breath. Hermione looks at Draco and he is smirking at her, having heard Pansy as well.

“Hermione, your turn, please nothing book-related, we are trying to keep a standard in here.” Blaise says.

“Very low apparently,” she mutters. “Ok then, Have Never I Ever done something I regret while drunk.”

“Psst, you probably haven’t even been drunk.” Pansy says as she reached for another shot, Draco is the only one who drinks besides Pansy.

“Blaise?” Daphne asked, clearly shocked.

“Dear, I have no regrets.”

“Even when you kissed Tracey and compared her traits to McGonagall?” Theo asks and Hermione snorts, another wave of laughter rings around the dorm and Hermione thanks the gods for the Sleeping Draught on Crabbe and Goyle.

“She was a very fine kisser and she had some similarities with good ol’ McGonagall, her temper being one of them.”

“Pansy?”

“Yule Ball, Draco had gone off to somewhere, I was pissed because he didn’t want to kiss me, so I downed that punch the Weasley’s twins had spiked with alcohol and kissed Rachel.” So they had spiked the punch, Hermione was right about it.

“But Rachel is a wonderful kisser!” Blaise says, his voice a little bit offended.

“She is! But she’s one of my best friends and it was so awkward afterwards! She wouldn’t look at me for months!”

“She still draws the curtains closed when she changes, afraid you are going to jump on her again.” Daphne says, in between hiccups.

“I didn’t jump on her!”

“You did girl, I saw. It was frightening really.”

“You know what I don’t understand?” Theo asks. “Why she was so weird afterwards if when you kissed her, she returned the kiss so eagerly?”

“Mysteries of life mate, mysteries of life.” Blaise replies, his eyes on the ceiling and his hands waving around in circles.

They all silently decide to ignore him.

“Pansy, your turn.”

“Ok. Hm. Never Have I Ever had sex.” She says bluntly and Hermione’s eyes bulge and Draco tenses beside her.

Theo and Daphne reach for the glass the same time Blaise does, Draco nods to Hermione and they both pick up a glass.

Blaise cat-calls and wolf-whistles for minutes nonstop, Pansy, which makes Hermione worried, only smiles a bit at her.

“So, the two love birds did the D?” Daphne asks, and Theo looks indignantly at her.

“You sound so much like Blaise sometimes, is terrifying.” Theo tells Daphne and Blaise winks at Daphne.

“We do the D when you are not around.”

“And with whom have you had sex?” Draco asks, curiosity in his voice.

“An honorable man never tells.”

“Blaise.” Draco says again.

“That desi bird, the one with a sister.”

“Parvati?” Hermione asks shocked,

“Is this the one in Ravenclaw?”

“No, that would be Padma.”

“Yes! That’s her! Padma! Nice girl, very nice things she knows too, that’s why I say, people of color are the best.”

“But you never say this.” Pansy says, confused.

“Well, I’m saying it now Pans, but anyway, it’s my turn now so, hum, let me see. Have Never I Ever wanted to wake up cuddled beside one of you.” He says and everyone stares at him dumbstruck, they look at each other confused, “What? I got romantic, drink it up.”

Chuckling, Theo, Daphne, Draco - which Hermione’s heart almost ends up on her hand – and her, pick up a glass.

She is getting way too drunk now, having lost count of how many shots of firewhiskey she had done. Draco puts an arm around her waist and Hermione smiles as she snuggles on his side.

“You mean you don't want to wake up to my sausage up against you ass every morning? A full English wakeup call?" Blaise asks Pansy.

“Good Lord Blaise, what’s wrong with you?” Pansy asks and they are all laughing, she flips them the bird and Blaise makes kissing sounds.

“He has a shitty personality.” Hermione says, and Blaise has the nerve to look offended,

“Zabini there isn't a human alive with a personality that outdoes your arse, so there’s no need for you to look like someone shat on your new shoes.” Pansy says and it’s hilarious, because she isn’t even looking at him as she says it.

“I think this is the last round, firewhiskey is over.” Daphne says, pouting, as she pours the last of the bottle on their glasses.

“Make us proud Daph, the last one is on you, what’s it?” Blaise asks and the blonde girl smiles menacingly at him and then at Pansy and Hermione fears for them, smartly so, as the others too seem to be wary of her look.

“Have never I ever kissed a Weasley and liked.” She says, with a smirk that even Draco would be jealous of.

Blaise and Pansy drink; the rest of them stares astonished at Pansy, who is firing daggers at Daphne.

“Who?” Draco asks, his voice barely louder than a whisper, he has a look on his face that says Draco’s ready to say a string of bad things if she says it was Ron.

But it isn’t Ron, Hermione knows that, Ron hates Pansy’s guts. It’s not Percy either, because they were thirteen when Percy left Hogwarts and Hermione doubts he was kissing thirteen-year-old Slytherin girls on his last year. It could be either Fred or George, but George was dating Angelina since last year so…

“He’s your older kiss,” Hermione blurts out, “it’s Fred.”

“Thank you, Granger.” Pansy said scathingly.

“It’s okay Pans, we can form a support group.” Blaise says between hiccups.

“He’s very handsome, you go girl.” It is Hermione reply.

“He’s a Weasley!” Pansy shudders and Blaise nods seriously beside her, Hermione narrows her eyes at both of them.

“They are very nice people.” Hermione said in gritted teeth.

“Well, I think we are done for the right, right guys?” Daphne asks and gets up, only to stumble and almost fall on her feet. 

“You kissed him, and you liked. Don’t go bad-mouthing on him when he obviously didn’t. He’s very nice and he’s my friend.”

“Okay Granger, there’s no need to get defensive. I apologize. He’s very handsome and it was a very nice kiss and he was very nice about it. I’m leaving now,” Pansy said and holding on to Daphne, both girls stumbled out of the boys’ dorm. 

“Stay?” Draco asks her after Blaise had collapsed, fully clothed, on his bed and Theo had gone to the bathroom to change.

She nods.

 

**May 3rd, 1996. Professor Merrythought Office. Day 534**

She has six weeks until the O.W.L.S and she’s impossibly behind on her studies. The constant making out and now sex had made her slack on her studies. Hermione was immersed in books, quills, parchment, ink and her muggle stationery, not to mention the pamphlets McGonagall gave her for what careers to choose and what N.E.W.T.S to take.

Before Umbridge, a career in the Ministry seemed a good idea, but now, she couldn’t imagine herself working in a place that allowed such barbaric woman to work there, and their position to what they deemed lesser magical being, the laws they had passed on Werewolves, poor Remus, not to mention their ridiculous neglect to the wizarding population by denying that Voldemort had returned.

But that didn’t mean she knew what to do, no, Healing seemed incredible, but so did being a historian and a teacher.

Hermione was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear the door opening and jumped when someone touched her shoulder.

“Sorry,” he said, but the smirk on his face showed he wasn’t sorry at all.

“I’m studying, you can’t be here!” 

“What?” He asks confused, “since when? We’ve been studying together in the last two years!”

“But it’s the O.W.L.S! And last year we weren’t—Er, it is different ok?”

“Why Granger, are you saying I distract you?” He asks, his smirk back on his lips.

“No.” She says with a pointed look, “what I am saying is that you annoy me.” She replies but she isn’t sure he had listened to her as he is kissing her shoulder, “Draco, I am studying.”

“You are always studying.”

“That’s what happens when we are six weeks away from the O.W.Ls, people study.”

“Just by looking at you, it makes me think in pulling a Fred and George.”

“Please don’t. It was extremely irresponsible of them to quit school a month before taking the last exams, I can’t possible imagine how Molly reacted.”

“But they are opening a store in Diagon Alley, I think it was brilliant! And the way they did it, so much publicity after the stunt!”

“Should I pass along your compliments?” She asks, Draco only scowls.

“Suppose I’m not quitting school, what do you think it’s best for me to start?”

She smiles at him and hands her study plan. Draco snorts at the many details and points but doesn’t comment; instead, he opens his bag and sets to study beside her. Both of them are sitting on the big dinner table – why a teacher would need a dinner table in her office, beats Hermione, but she isn’t going to complain.

They study in silence for hours, the only sound being the shuffling of pages and quills scribbling on parchment. Once or twice, Draco had asked something about Charms and she made him question her on History of Magic.

She’s trying to write the main moments of the Goblin revolution without looking in the book or her notes when Draco’s catches her attention, he’s dozing off, his head is dropping and he can’t barely keep his eyes open any longer; his legs are on top of the table, in a way that’s very much different from the codes of conduct Hermione’s sure Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy made Draco learn by the age of five and his fringe is almost reaching his eyes and the hair on the back is curling because of length and he’s beautiful.

Hermione knows she spends too much of her time looking at him, admiring the contradictions in him, and it’s just that sometimes she looks at him and she feels like Draco’s so much more than just a boy. It’s just that sometimes she wants to take every stupid novel she’s ever read and rewrite them all so that they’re all about white-blond-haired boys that smell like expensive cologne and green apples and then read them until her eyes burn out. It’s just that sometimes when she looks up from the parchment she’s writing and he’s there, with his fingers barely touching her thighs, or when he pulls her closer and buries his nose in the curve of her neck, she thinks she’s closer to the person she wants to be. The person they both want to be. It’s just that she’s delirious and so happy, and it’s four in the morning and it feels like Draco is the best thing in the entire fucking universe.

 

**May 6rd, 1996. The Library. Day 547**

While her and Daphne were discussing their Transfiguration essays, as Daphne was sure McGonagall had graded her lower than she deserved-and Hermione was almost agreeing with the girl as many of their answers were pretty similar and Hermione had got an O and Daphne had EE. The boys, Theo and Draco, were discussing Quidditch tactics for tomorrow's game with Hufflepuff. Draco had no idea how’s the new Hufflepuff Seeker played as Draco hadn’t deemed important to pay attention to Hufflepuff during Quidditch and he pointedly refused to watch the Gryffindor against Hufflepuff match because in his humble opinion was simply a waste of good weather.

Pansy was trying to decide which dress to wear for her birthday which was in three weeks, but no matter how many times Daphne said she was wasting time because her birthday was in a week day which meant she was going to wear her uniform, she was still going through the muggle clothes magazine Hermione had asked her mother.

“Draco,” Pansy calls, and by the overly necessary amount of blinking and fluttering of her mascara-heavy eyelashes, Hermione knows whatever it is coming isn’t good, “what’s your favorite colour? I’m trying to decide for my birthday dress.” She says, her voice disgustingly sweet. Hermione merely raises an eyebrow at her and the others try to stifle a giggle.

“I don’t have a favorite color, though I strongly dislike yellow. Horrid color.” He replies and after Pansy realizing the dresses in the page are in a variety of yellow, quickly changes for different lilac dresses, “but I do think this one might do good for your body.” He says, pointing to one with an impressive cleavage. Blaise snorts and Draco raises a perfectly done light blond eyebrow in Hermione’s direction and she narrows her eyes.

Hermione, who still fought daily with her feelings for this prat of a boy, regrets the choice of the hat like never before. How she wanted to be clad head to toes in Hufflepuff yellow and maybe then, he would leave her the hell alone and she wouldn’t feel this way.

But then she remembers what day is tomorrow and smirks at him, his eyes narrow in suspicion, “what?”

“You know what day is tomorrow right?” She smiles wider and she knows she has that face he hates and always calls her a maniac, “Slytherin against Hufflepuff.” She finishes proudly, with her arms crossed and his eyes widen.

“You wouldn’t.” 

“Oh, just watch me.”

“Granger, you evil thing.” Blaise says, but it's lost in the middle of laughter.

“Will you still want your good-luck-kiss tomorrow? I will be pleased to.” She smirks again and he shakes his head horrified.

“I will pass.” He says pointedly and rises from his chair and makes a show of walking in her direction and crouching, his mouth in her ear, “but when we win, you better have burned every yellow thing in your wardrobe, because we will spend the rest of the weekend locked inside the room of requirement.” His lips are brushing the shell of her ear, “not even yellow snickers.” And then he pulls back, walking away with a smirk on his face.

Hermione decides to wear yellow for the rest of the year.

Blaise almost falls off his chair from laughing and keeps laughing all the way out of the library after Madam Pince grabs him by the ear and drags him out.

 

**May 9rd, 1996. Day 550**

 

Slytherin loses and Draco ignores her for days as if it was her fault he didn’t catch the Snitch.

Well, she did wear a magically brightened yellow and bronze scarf that might or might not have blinded him when he looked at her.


	24. Twenty Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You do that.” Blaise says and yawns. “And Draco?”
> 
> “Yeah?”
> 
> “I don’t want to be the asshole who tells you this, but you only have the Hogwarts walls. As cute and sap and lovely as the two of you are, and as much we all love her, Hogwarts is not the real world, it’s a safe bubble.” Blaise says and takes a long breath, as if he's preparing himself for what he's about to say. "As of now, there's nothing beyond the castle walls for the two of you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! 
> 
> Here we go with another one. I hope you like it. Just a warning, this chapter is pure filth.

**May 15th, 1996. Second Floor Corridors. Day 556**

“Stop littering!” Hermione sneers as Draco keeps throwing the Bertie Bott’s Every Flavored Beans he doesn’t like on the floor as they walk.

“We are going to save the wizarding world, it cancels out. I can’t be all good.”

“I don’t really think going to find two second-years lost in the Forbidden Forest classifies as saving the wizarding world and anyway, you being an asshole is enough, isn’t it?”

“Oh, is that why we were naked just ten minutes ago?” Draco smirks and Hermione blushes, even though it's true - and they are getting naked more than often - she can’t help the blush on her cheeks.

“I still haven’t decided why that keeps happening,” Draco snorts and rolls his eyes, “be it because of you being an asshole or because I’d like to fuck the asshole out of you. One of the two.” Hermione retorts and Draco full on laughs, crinkling his eyes. Hermione smiles, she loves being the one to get that reaction out of him.

“Granger, I am very keen of your new fondness for foul words. I’d say I’m rubbing of on you – which is literally true –“ Draco smirks and Hermione rolls her eyes and punch him playfully, “but we both know the getting naked thing keeps happening because you like me.”

“I’m ignoring you.”

“I know. You do that when people prove you wrong.”

“Shut up Draco.”

“Can we have sex on the forest? I don’t think they will know if we are not actually looking for the second-years.”

“No! Merlin, Draco they are lost! You know what kind of creatures are out there!”

“I still think they went for a bit of sex themselves.”

“They are twelve!”

“Kids these days—"

“Merlin, shut up.”

“We still have to try the Prefect’s Bathroom, you know? I was thinking about it the other day, I can’t believe we still haven’t tried—"

“What’s wrong with you? You are impossible today! Do you honestly think that much about sex?”

“Well, no, obviously. But a ghost did appear in the classroom where we were and caught us on the act so I am feeling a little bit—"

“Don’t finish this sentence, we are arriving.” Hermione says and they can already see the professors, Hagrid and the others Prefects all gathered together near Hagrid’s Hut.

“Miss Granger, Mr. Malfoy, I’m glad you came so quickly—“ Hermione elbows Draco as he opens his mouth to make a comment about coming and quickly, “we are just waiting for the last two pairs of Prefects—oh, there they are, come quickly.” McGonagall calls and Hermione greets Ron and nods at the two sixth years prefects from Ravenclaw that had just arrived.

“Are we all accounted for?” Professor Snape asked in his usual snarling voice.

“Yes.” McGonagall replies, “well, if one doesn’t count our esteemed Headmistress,” she says sarcastically, and the few people gathered together chuckle lightly. “These two very imprudent boys here—" McGonagall points to the two small Gryffindor boys Hermione hadn’t notice before, “came to me after a bet went wrong and now we have Nigel Wolpert from Gryffindor and Stewart Ackerley from Hufflepuff inside the forest. By Mr. Denis Creevey explanation, the Gryffindors left their dorms after the Gryffindor prefects left for their rounds and met with Stewart by the Greenhouse. The pair of prefects responsible for the grounds will have to write a very long explanation why no one saw four second-year boys sneaking past.” 

“What were they going to do in the forest anyway?” Hannah Abbott asked.

“Mr. Peaks here says they were going to see who spent more time in the dark on the forest, which is absurdly ridiculous and tremendously stupid, but after hearing something they all ran back. But only these two got out of the forest.”

Hagrid’s strong voice urged them to start searching.

“Fifth year Prefects will go in pairs plus an adult, sixth years go in fours, seventh years you go in pairs, the Head Boy goes with an adult, the same for the Head Girl.” McGonagall organizes and quickly they all group. 

Ron scurries to McGonagall side with Hannah at the same time Pansy runs to Snape’s side and Hermione looks suspiciously to Draco when the boy goes to Filch’s side. Ernie and Padma are with Professor Sprout, the head boy is with Professor Flitwick and the head girl, is with Hagrid and Fang.

“Madam Hooch, please take these two to their dorms,” the flying instructor nods and grabs the two boys by the robes and leads them away. “After localizing the boys, cast red sparks up to the sky if they are okay and return here, if they are injured send for green sparks and the professors and Madam Pomphrey will come to your aid, do not, I repeat, do not try healing spells if you don’t know how to do it properly.”

They all nod and enter the forest, Hermione waits till they are out of sight from the others to grab Draco’s hand.

The only light is coming from their wands and it isn’t much help-since the light Filch is carrying went off fifteen minutes in, they can’t barely see three steps in front of them, much less look for two boys.

“Do you think we will be able to see if they find something?” Hermione asks, almost an hour later, her voice barely a whisper. She doesn’t have to, but other than their steps, the forest is dreadfully silent, “I mean, I can’t see a single star in the sky, and there are so many trees around us, what if they keep us from seeing?”

“We will see it Granger,” it’s Draco’s reply. “Filch, I don’t want to be here till the morning, what do you say in splitting? We can cover more ground this way.”

“Absolutely not—"

“Thanks, Granger and I, we will be going this way, if something happens to you shout and we will come for you—"

“I don’t need children coming for me! This is absurd! Go on then and might as well get lost too! Insufferable child, how dare you!” Filch says as he stomps away from them, Miss Norris right behind him.

“Why would you do that?” Hermione calls, her voice high with fear.

“Because I wanted to do this.” Draco swipes her around the waist, against the nearest tree and kisses her. Hermione splutters for half a second before kissing him back.

“You are impossible,” she hisses, “we are supposed to be searching for them!”

“There’s too many people looking for them and the professors knows a spell or two that helps.” Draco says and searches, blindly for the hem of her shirt.

“What are you doing?” Hermione hisses again.

“I’m trying to undress you but it’s very difficult with one hand holding my wand and in this darkness.”

“Draco…”

“Nox!” He says and the light on his wand goes out and he pockets it, Hermione can’t even begin to list how imprudent that is. 

Mainly because her mouth is occupied, with the way he is kissing her.

Now, with both hands free to roam around her body Draco doesn’t waste time in grabbing her arse and cupping her breasts over her jumper.

“I’m not getting naked in the middle of the forest.” Hermione mutters on his mouth and Draco snorts, because she is the one undoing his belt.

Draco pushes her knickers down, and two fingers expertly starts to stimulate her and her moan is lost on his lips.

“Merlin Granger, I could do this forever.” Draco breathes on her neck and her grip tightens on his neck.

It is her who pulls down his trousers and boxers, and the sound he makes when her fingers wrap around his cock vanish all possible doubts about what they are doing. Draco is already half hard, she strokes him to fullness, matching her movements with his fingers on her. 

Draco positions himself between her legs and after opening a condom from God knows where and ripping yet another set of knickers, she wraps her legs around him, trusting the tree and Draco’s arm to hold her up. Hermione moans loudly when he enters her, now more than used to the feeling of him inside her, filling her in.

“I don’t ever want to be with somebody else.” Hermione says and tenses when she realizes what she had just said, the meaning behind her words.

This is it, he is going to stop and leave her in the middle of the fucking forest.

“That’s fine by me, because you are mine.” Draco growls on her ear and Hermione pulls his face towards her and kisses him hard. 

Draco is thrusting fast and her hips meet his with a loud flap. This is a new position for them and Hermione, completely wrapped up on Draco and trusting him to not let her fall, feels everything more intensified, they aren’t skin to skin and their uniform sometimes gets in the middle, but it is so good that she can only moan and fuck herself harder.

They are close, Hermione knows, his head is now heavy on her shoulder and he mutters incoherently on her ear. Her legs are shaking around him, and she is glad for the tree behind her.

“Who is there?” A small voice asks, and they stiffen, “we heard you, who is there?” The small voice asks again, and Hermione notices the terrified tone.

She untangles her legs from around Draco and stands, legs trembling, searching for the voice in the blackness of the forest.

Hermione hears Draco hissing as he tries to buckle his pants still fully hard. Hermione had not only lost her wand, but her mind as well, because she presses her now skirt-covered bum on his bulge and he groans again, his head heavy on her shoulder.

“It’s Hermione. Nigel is that you?” She asks, her voice just a little too breathless, now that Draco is grinding on her bum. 

“Yes! Stewart is hurt, he is stuck on some root a few meters behind me, and we lost our wands.”

Hermione gasps as she feels Draco coming between her cheeks and legs and the boy, thankfully, doesn’t comment on it, probably thinking it was because of the news about Stewart.

Merlin, bless the blackness of the forest, missing wands and children naivety.

“Show me where he is, we are going to help him.” Hermione says, flustered as she feels her own cum dripping. Merlin, she is a kinky one.

“We?” Nigel asks, he hadn’t seen Draco, or better yet, heard him, as he is still a good length from them as Hermione gathers from his voice.

“Yeah, Draco is here—" her voice cracks on his name and she feels his hand on her hips, “he is looking for his wand, we dropped ours.”

“Oh.” The boy says and she doesn’t hear him move so she quickly straightens her skirt and gives up the search for her discarded knickers.

“Found it?” She asks Draco.

“Lumos!” Draco says and points the wand to the floor, where Hermione can see her wand, she picks up and blushes when he makes a sound in his throat, “Merlin, don’t do that again.” He whispers and his hand grabs her bum.

“Stop!” Hermione hisses and he winks at her. “Let’s go Nigel, show us where he is.”

The boy guides them in the dark, Hermione understand then why he didn’t want to move from his spot before: he had counted his steps from his friend and didn’t want to lose count.

They reach Stewart and Draco kneels beside him and Hermione resorts in keeping the light above them.

“I think he broke his ankle, it’s in a weird angle.” Draco calls and Hermione shots red sparks first and then green ones.

She helps Draco untangle the boy from the roots, recognizing as the Devil’s Snare from first year, being careful to not move him too much and make things worse.

Hermione conjures a small ball of fire that hovers over them and they all sit around it, in the fluffy pillow she transfigured from a fallen trunk next to them, and the four of them wait for the professors to come to their aid in silence. The small Hufflepuff boy cries lowly, poor thing, his ankle must be hurting pretty badly by the angle it was twisted. 

“What time to you think it is?” She asks Draco.

“It was half past then when they called us, and it can’t be much later than midnight, we haven’t been looking for long.”

“I’m knackered.” She replies, and Draco squeezes the hand he is holding.

“They will be here any minute now.” Draco says with such a soft voice that Hermione barely recognizes as his.

But Draco is right, because minutes later they can hear the first shuffling of leaves and twigs being snapped around them.

“Oh Merlin!” Professor Sprout cries when she sees her student and runs to the boy, Madam Pomphrey right behind her.

“Miss Granger, Mr. Malfoy, thank you for your help,” Professor McGonagall says, “and wonderful Transfiguration Miss Granger! Ten points to Gryffindor!” Professor Snape coughs behind her, “Err—another ten to each of you for finding them.”

“It’s a nasty bruise you have here Mr. Ackerley, what happened?”

“My feet got stuck in these vines and I fell, but it wouldn’t let go and when I tried to pull my feet away it grabbed harder and twisted my ankle!” He cries and Madam Pomphrey nods, “every time I moved it tangled harder!”

“This is work of the Devil’s Snare—" Professor Sprout notes and looks between Hermione and Draco, “who—"

“It was Malfoy who did it, Professor,” she says.

“Well, but it was Granger who told me which spell to use—"

“But you cast it, I was—"

“It doesn’t matter, ten points to each of you for brilliant work in Herbology.”

“When you are quite done distributing points, we should take them back inside. Hagrid said this is the Centaurs area and they aren’t very happy with humans right now.”

They all nod, and Hermione wonders if Hagrid had hidden Grawp somewhere none of the searching parties had gone.

On the way back, the professors talked among themselves and the two boys, McGonagall was tiring herself in scolding them, Snape was discussing detentions with Sprout as he was more than displeased with the fact that he had to go in a search party in the forest.

“We could make them wash a week worth of dishes in the kitchens.” Professor Sprout suggests.

“As if the Elves would let them, they would probably offer them food while the elves did the work.” Snape says with a sneer, “I bet Filch will know what need help and set them to it.”

“And speaking of Filch, where is he?” McGonagall asks and the three professors look at each other, only now realizing he wasn’t with them.

“He was supposed to be with the two of you, wasn’t he?” Snape asks them, and Draco and Hermione tense, both glad the dark wouldn’t show their guilty expressions.

“Yes,” Hermione gulps, “but we got separated.”

“I offered to split up Sir, his lamp went out and he had to stay close to one of us, and well, he wasn’t being much help really, without a wand—and I thought, if we split up, we can cover more ground and—"

“I can’t begin to understand how this can possible be true since the two of you are together and Mr. Filch is alone and as you say, lightless.” McGonagall asks in a stern voice.

“Err—he got offended Professor.” Hermione mumbles.

“He what?” 

“Well, we said we should split up and he didn’t like when I said one of us had to go with him since he couldn’t—you know, defend himself.” Draco explains.

Professor Snape snorts and both Professor McGonagall and Professor Sprout chuckle and Hermione realized happily, they wouldn’t be in trouble. 

“Should we go after him as well Minerva?” Snape asks and he has an amused tone in his voice, but Hermione isn’t sure, because she doesn’t think anything can possibly amuse her Potions Master.

“He had Miss Norris with him, I’m sure she will guide him back.” Hermione tries and the Professors agree with her.

Draco hooks his pinky on hers and Hermione smiles to herself.

 

**May 28th, 1996. Slytherin Common Room. Day 570**

“Blaise, are you up?” Draco whispers and Hermione hears a hum in response.

“What now, Draco?” Blaise asks tiredly.

“I’m fucked.” Draco says, sighing and Hermione notices a finger running through her arm softly.

“I should bloody well hope so, with the amount of times Granger is sleeping in our dorm.” Blaise grumbles and Hermione blushes, but decides to keep faking sleep.

“Shut up Blaise, I’m not talking about that.” Draco says.

“What are we talking about then?”

“I like having her here, in my arms and in my bed. I—I want to be in bed with her and not in the meaning of fucking, just—being here with her, her lying next to me.” She smiles on his chest and then even bigger when he pulls her closer.

“You are becoming a sap.”

“I know. But there’s something about rolling over and finding her body, feeling her warmth, even being suffocated by her hair—it does something to me.”

“We’ve talked about it mate, you know what this something is.”

“Yeah,” Draco sighs, “you should try sometimes you know?”

“What? Sleeping with Grange?”

“Hell no. I mean—holding someone while they sleep, knowing that you are protecting them—"

“Protecting? Draco this is the Slytherin dungeon, what are you protecting her from?”

“Those dimwits up in Gryffindor tower? Vince and Greg? My father?” Draco whispers the last one.

“Do you plan on telling him?”

“No. The Manor has become a Death Eater Inn, I—it just sucks.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Your mum still wants to marry Theo’s dad?”

“She wants the money he comes with,” Blaise sighs, “but I don’t think she think is worth it. She knows Theo’s dad is not the good sort and you know why the man wants to marry.”

“Yeah—Mother has been trying to find something to blame on him since Theo’s mum died, but it’s hard going behind Father’s back and they are friends, well, sort of—"

“Why would your mum do something like that?”

“You know how his father is, she thinks if he goes to Azkaban, she can make Theo live with us, distant relatives or something like that” Draco explains and Hermione feels something she never felt for Draco’s mother: affection.

The lengths Narcissa Malfoy seemed to be willing to go to save a boy from an abusive father spoke volumes. And behind Lucius back, more so. 

Hermione can only wonder why Dumbledore let Harry live with those awful people every summer when he knew what they did to him.

“Let’s not talk about Theo when he isn’t listening, we sound like a pair of Ravenclaws”

“Yeah” Draco nods and kisses Hermione hair when they fall silent.

“You know, you two are really cute together. I know you don’t like us saying but—she’s does you good mate.”

“I know.”

“It’s okay to be scared Draco. It’s Granger.” Blaise snorts and Draco chuckles lightly.

“I’m terrified,” Draco confesses, and Hermione tries really hard not to hug him tighter, to let him know it is okay, that she is terrified as well.

“Terrified is good. It keeps you from doing shit and putting yourself too much out there.”

“I guess I should be more terrified then, because sometimes I—like it’s on the tip of my tongue, that at any moment I can blurt something like how finding her hand in mine in the middle of the night makes my heart spin round like a crazy elf and that every time she laughs I want to kiss the crinkle of her eyes—"

“Mate, it’s five in the morning. We have O.W.L.S in less than a week, my dreams are of McGonagall and her bloody Vanishing Spells.”

“I will try to go back to sleep.”

“You do that.” Blaise says and yawns, “And Draco?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to be the asshole who tells you this, but you only have the Hogwarts walls. As cute and sap and lovely as the two of you are, and as much we all love her, Hogwarts is not the real world, it’s a safe bubble.” Blaise says and takes a long breath, as if he's preparing himself for what he's about to say. "As of now, there's nothing beyond the castle walls for the two of you."

Draco doesn’t reply, but he presses his lips to her forehead and the arm wrapped around her tighten its grip, as if daring someone to take her away from him.

 

**June 5th, 1996. Library. Day 578**

Hermione is losing it. That is what the entire castle is saying, and she knows it is true. She is losing it. The past week was revision and she went on a study routine that couldn’t be healthy, stopping just for sleep and class, her meals were quick and always with a book open beside her food. 

But she wasn’t going to relax until the last O.W.L was done, and she still had two weeks till then.

Hermione decided to hide from her Common Room because there was only an amount of tutoring she could do without going off her time plan and poor Neville was lost and his lack of organization made her nervous and anxious. Harry was doing okay, Hermione always envied Harry’s ability to do well in exams without worrying himself too much and even Ron, who always depended on her and Harry’s notes, always manage to scrap by. 

But Merlin, no, she doesn’t want to scrap by, she doesn’t want to do well, she wants ten Outstanding and won’t settle for less. She wants to prove herself.

Draco was being a dear – or he was probably too scared of her – and was keeping distance, no more stealing her books and notes and locking empty classrooms. They barely kissed this week and her frustration had started to show, while her dreams often started as practical exams and examiners, it often ended with her and Draco tangled in some form that always had her aching in the morning. And it doesn’t help when the last time they were together was almost a week ago and she had heard him say all those romantic things. 

Once or twice she had to physically hold the end of the table to not jump on him on the other side of the library. Now it was one of those times.

“She looks mad.” She can hear Blaise half whisper to Theo and Draco.

“I can hear you.” 

“Good! Because you are wearing your uniform the wrong side out.” Blaise calls and Hermione jumps, looking at her robes and narrowing her eyes at Blaise when the Slytherin starts laughing.

“Ha, very funny Zabini.”

“You need to relax Granger, cut some tension.” Blaise says and her eyes lock with Draco’s instantly, the blond boy smirks and winks at her direction.

She could take a break right now, the only break till the end of the school year. It’s going to be short and she’s going back to study right after.

Yes, she is going to do just that.

Hermione doesn’t mind packing her stuff; Hermione gets up from her table and marches towards them.

“You, watch my stuff please and don’t you dare to steal my notes, I put a hex on it for anyone who reads it,” she says to Theo. “You, come with me, now.” She says to Draco and the boy almost falls on his feet trying to get up.

They almost run out of the library and they hear Madam Pince scream and shriek at them and Blaise and Theo’s loud antics.

“Where are we going?” Draco asks, his voice carrying an amused tone, but she knows him too well to catch the excited tone.

Hermione doesn’t bother answering him, only tugs his sleeve inside the empty classroom that was being used as a deposit and only let go when they stopped in front of the One-Eyed Witch statue.

“ _Dissendium!_ ” Hermione says, the tip of her wand in the hump of the witch’s back and Draco gasps when it opens, showing them a small passageway.

“Where does this take us?” Draco asks and Hermione ushers him, pushing him inside and sealing it shut after her.

“Doesn’t matter right now. _Lumos!_ ” The light coming from her wand illuminates both of their faces.

“Why Granger, I have a feeling we are up to no good this evening?” Draco says, and Hermione widens her eyes at him but quickly schools her face. There's no way Draco knows about the map, much less about the passwords to get it working.

“Because—" Hermione starts and tries a smirk, she notices his eyes twinkling, “that’s exactly what we are doing.”

Draco tsks at her as she drops her wand to the floor and Hermione beams at him before tangling her fingers in his hair and getting up to her tiptoes to kiss him.

“I thought you said you were busy.” Draco says on her lips, she chuckles, and Draco kisses her throat.

“I was feeling sorry for you, you see, this is the last you will get until the end of the exams.”

“Oh, is that it?” Draco asks, a wicked smile playing on his lips, “I better make it worth then.”

“You better.” Hermione replies and he kisses her lips again. 

The kiss is nothing like their playful words, it is quite soft in fact, his hands are cradling her face and hers are on his chest, just above his heart. They move in synchrony, way too used with the other’s kiss, so when Hermione sighs loud enough for him to hear, he plays with her lower lip and when he opens his mouth a bit wider she pushes her tongue inside and he sucks on it.

Draco’s hands goes from her cheeks to her neck, and then to her shoulders, before moving them along her arms and stopping when he covers hers in his.

His kisses leave her mouth and before Hermione can complain her loss, they are on her ear, his teeth nipping at her earlobe.

“I want to see you naked.” Draco growls and every single hair on her body stands up, her legs twitch. 

Draco stands back just enough to see her strip, the faint light coming from her wand on the floor enough to lighten around them. Hermione loosen her tie and drops it ceremonially to the floor; with slight trembling fingers she undoes the buttons of her shirt and blushes when she sees Draco’s cock twitch in interest. 

“Merlin, you are gorgeous,” Draco says after her shirt and bra joins her tie on the floor, he steps closer again and with both hands on the hem of her school skirt, asks, “Shall I do the honors?” 

“You shall.”

Draco pulls her skirt down and Hermione steps out of it and Draco falls on his knees in front of her with a lascivious smile. Both of his hands are on the back of her thighs and she has a faint idea of what he’s planning to do. 

Her knickers dampen in anticipation.

Draco parts her legs just enough to fit his head between them, he nuzzles at her inner thigh and grabs the other harder. 

“Draco—" Hermione moans his name when his teeth nibble the flesh just where her hips meet her thigh.

Draco pulls her knickers down and he groans at the sight of her. Hermione’s hands find his hair when he gives her a long lick and sucks on her clit.

“God,” Draco smirks and licks her again, this time rolling her clit on his tongue and playing with it with his teeth, “yes, God, please.” She begs and vaguely hears him muttering something, his voice getting lost on her sensitive skin.

“You are só beautiful.” Draco says louder and gives her one, two kisses before starting to suck at it again, she moans loudly when his tongue enters her. 

She is pulling on his hair, pressing his face closer to her and before she knows it, she is pressing her legs together and coming on his mouth.

“You spoil me.” Hermione giggles when he is back on his feet, his arms wrapped around her, hugging her.

“I am nothing but I gentleman.” Draco replies with an easy smile and Hermione thanks the heavens for Draco Malfoy.

Because there is nothing, no one, who can make her feel this happy with just a smile.

They start to kiss again, the same slow and passionate kiss they usually share. Hermione is so happy that she smiles during the entire kiss, making things a bit complicated, but they aren’t complaining.

Soon Draco’s pants are around his ankle and he’s inside her, and the mind-blowing, gut-wrenching feeling of fullness overcomes her as he moves inside of her, knowing exactly where to please her. Hermione has her arms around his shoulders and keeps them there, hugging him, pulling him impossibly closer as he groans and shudders against her.

His thrusting becomes erratic and she fucks herself on him, helping him reach his orgasm, whispering words on his ear that makes him groan and twitch inside of her before gasping loudly and releasing his orgasm inside of her.

Draco gives her a satisfied smile and she rolls her eyes. Draco kisses her cheek and stay there.

“You can go now.” She says, laughter on her voice, “and oh, you are smelly and sweaty.” Draco snorts on her shoulder and kisses her also sweaty skin, “not to mention, you bother me enormously.” Hermione pulls him closer as she says it.

Draco’s head shakes with laughter and he leans back, exposing his throat to her. She kisses it.

“Granger, this is getting tiresome, this whole pretending you don’t like me when we are both naked and oh—surprise, I’m still inside of you—"

“Shut up,” she laughs on his collarbones, her tongue licking at his saltiness.

“You can stop now, it’s okay, you like me, it’s not a big deal, I make it quite impossible not to, we can talk it out, it won’t make your big bushy head explode in realization.”

They both laugh, and Hermione kisses his lips one more time, just because and with a perfect arrogant smile, Draco pulls out of inside of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, I really made a chapter filled with smut end in fluff.....  
> And if you noticed, the title of the fic is in this chapter and I always liked when I saw the titles inside the story sooo
> 
> No one asked but my birthday is on Monday so please as a birthday gift leave a comment!!!


	25. Twenty Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I'm back with another chapter!!!
> 
> Thank you for the birthday wishes, you are all very lovely people <3
> 
> NOTICE: I have good news and bad news. I mean, the good news is for me and the bad news is for you I guess. Anyway, I'm going on holiday tomorrow. I will be visiting South Korea for 20 days so unfortunately during this period I won't be able to update the fic, because I won't be taking my notebook with me (lots lots of Kpop albums to buy, I need space). I'm so so sorry about missing three weeks of updates but I swear I will post two new ones as soon as I get back!!
> 
> If you like Kpop or is just a curious person and want to follow my adventures, you can follow me on [INSTAGRAM](https://www.instagram.com/camilabolano/) for updates.

**June 16th, 1996. Fourth-floor Corridor. Day 589**

“Don’t go.” She hears Draco panting behind her. Hermione stops dead on her tracks and turns around. Luna, who is beside her doesn’t even blink.

“I—" she starts, but words get stuck.

What can she possibly say? Draco doesn’t know about Harry visions, Draco isn't supposed to know about Sirius, and he, _please Merlin, let it be_ , doesn’t know about the Department of Mysteries. 

“Don’t go, please.” He asks, his voice breaking at the end.

“I must! It’s—"

“Granger, I know. _I know_. You can’t go.” He says and her eyes widen.

 

_“Does that mean I will have a warning first before something happens to me or you will just leave a note?”_

_“Of course, you’d get a sodding warning first!”_

_“You are joking, right?”_

_“No, Granger. I would do anything in my power to not put you in danger if I knew first.”_

 

He knows. The bastard knows.

“I—"

“Please, stay. Let Potter go and the others, but please, don’t go.” He asks and takes a step closer. Luna, her face lightening up in realization, remains silent.

“You know I can’t do that.” She says, and she can see the pleading in his eyes.

“Please,” he tries again, but he knows it is in vain, “Hermione—“ he says and Hermione’s lips curls upwards in a small smile.

“I will come back.” She says, and he nods, only half believing her.

“Please do.” He says and she nods before pulling on Luna’s robes and starting to run again in direction of Umbridge’s office.

“I think Malfoy loves you Hermione.” Luna says in her dreamily voice, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

“Yeah, I think he does, Luna.” She replies and Luna hums some song under her breath all the way to where Ginny already is standing.

“Go, Harry just entered her office, Luna and I will guard the door.” The redheaded says and Hermione nods and pulls open the door to Umbridge’s office.

“Finally! What took you so long?” 

“Doesn’t matter, go!” S,he urges and pushes him towards the fireplace.

“12 Grimmauld Place!” Harry calls and enters his head on the Floo.

Hermione has a very bad feeling about all this; she’s been having it since Harry stopped taking his lessons. She hates all of this, hates this feeling in her gut telling her something is wrong, that it might be a trap and—Merlin, Draco’s panicked look and him begging her not to go. He knows, he knows something.

Before she could dwell on it any further, the office door bangs open and Umbridge enters, Hermione’s eyes widen and before she can think better of it, she jumps in front of Harry.

“Step out of the way stupid girl!” Umbridge shrieks, pointing her wand at Hermione.

“No.” She says and draws her wand out, pointing right back at Umbridge.

“How dare you! Insolent girl! Point your wand to the Ministry!” She shrieks and she's mid-way through a spell when the door opens again and the Inquisitorial Squad barge in, each of them holding one of their friends and Draco’s stone face leading them in.

Hermione groans.

“Stupefy!”

“Protego!” She yells and the barrier appears just in time to keep her from being stunned, but she stumbles backyards with the surprise.

Umbridge, enjoying the opportunity, pushes Hermione away; straight in Draco’s direction and the hag pulls Harry back by the head.

“What were you doing?” She shrieks, “Whom were you talking too?”

“It’s none of your business!” He yells, Hermione notices how he shakes with rage.

“You will tell me!” She says, her high-pitched voice ringing in their ear, “you will tell me now Potter, or so help me!”

“You are doing what? Make us write words?” He scoffs and Hermione thinks she sees Umbridge eyes going red.

“Pansy!” She shrieks, and the raven-haired girl comes forward. “Fetch Snape, I believe I will need his help.”

Hermione’s eyes widen and she sees Harry’s doing the same, they lock eyes and he shakes his head slightly and she sighs.

Sirius isn’t there.

Draco’s grip on her arm tighten, having noticed the small exchange between the two.

Pansy returns with Snape after a few minutes and the Potion Master's face as he eyes the room is one of complete indifference. Hermione wonders how he does it.

“You wanted to see me, Headmistress?”

“Yes Severus! I wish to interrogate Potter and the boy is known for his lies, I believe I will need another bottle of Veritasserum to smuggle the truth out of him for once!”

Snape lips curls, “I’m afraid I can’t help headmistress, you used the last of my stock interrogating Potter the other day.”

Umbridge’s eyes flash red again and an animalistic sound comes out of her, “but I need to know!” She shrieks, and Snape looks pained, “Potter was talking to someone and I must know who!”

“I already told you. I have nothing. I have poisons, but they act too fast to give enough time for Potter to speak.” He replies smoothly, and Hermione shoots him a scathingly look and tries to struggle out of Draco’s hold and jump at Snape.

“You are not helping!” She shrieks yet again, “Lucius Malfoy speaks very highly of you and you are being deliberately unhelpful!” She screams and Draco tenses at his father’s name. “Leave! Leave now! I will deal with you later!” She screeches and Snape, raising a sardonic eyebrow, bows to her.

Hermione nods to Snape frenetically, trying to catch Harry’s attention.

“He’s got Padfoot!” Harry yells and Snape looks at him, “he’s got Padfoot in the place where he’s hidden!” He says and Hermione sighs, at least now someone in the Order knows.

“What he’s talking about?” Umbridge asks, her wand firm on Harry’s throat.

“I have no idea.” Snape replies and leaves the office.

“Well, that leaves me with only one choice.” She says, her voice faking sweet, “I think the Cruciatus will loosen your tongue.”

“No!” Hermione shrieks and tries to break free from Draco’s grasp. “No! it’s illegal! You can’t! Harry—" she struggles again, and Draco is getting angry behind her and his grip is hurting her. She will hex him first thing tomorrow.

Umbridge seems to ignore Hermione, and starts talking to herself, muttering things about the Ministry and Cornelius and ‘doesn’t see’.

“Well, Potter, I really didn’t want to do this.” She said and pointed her wand at him, “Cru—"

“NO!” Hermione bellows. “Tell him! Harry tell him!” She cries and Umbridge turns to face her, her wand now pointed at Hermione.

“Tell me what?” She asks, her voice icy cold, her fingers twitching on the wand pointed at Hermione’s throat.

Draco stiffens behind her and she hears him growl. Hermione trembles on his arms.

“Hermione, no!” Harry yells and he is so angry, so angry at her, for making them waste time and now for being caught. 

She starts to cry weakly. “We have to Harry, she will—" her voice gets stuck as Umbridge presses her wand on her throat.

Draco starts to move behind her, she feels him slowly pulling Hermione’s wand out of his pocket and gripping it with a shaking hand.

“Tell me girl!” She yells and Hermione gags with the strength of the wand on her throat.

“She can’t tell you if you gag her.” Draco says and she can’t see him, but his voice is murderous, every inch of his body is tensed and his jaw is set, he had just put her wand in her back pocket and is shifting his hold on his wand so he can point it at Umbridge without her noticing and without letting go of Hermione.

“Hermione no!” Ron yells, his eyes cold, Ginny shakes her head viciously and looks at her like she had just lost her mind, Neville is struggling against Crabbe, trying to say something.

“I—I’m sorry—Harry,” she cries and tries to catch his eyes, explain, but the boy is seeing red.

Her friends are screaming now, everyone trying to break free and stop Hermione for saying anything.

“TELL ME NOW!”

“It was Dumbledore!” S.he screams, between cries, “he was trying to talk to Dumbledore.” She says and the room grow silent. 

Umbridge smiles maniacally and doesn’t even notice the sudden quiet.

“Where is he girl?”

“I don’t know! We couldn’t find him, we tried everywhere but—"

“Of course, stupid girl! He is hiding that old fool!”

“But we needed to tell him!”

“Tell him what?” Umbridge asks, now looking excited, Hermione gulps.

“It’s ready. What he wanted us to do. It’s ready.”

Her friends look at each other for a second before starting to yell again, begging her not to tell, finally catching up.

“What’s ready? WHAT? Tell me!” She yells and the wand is back at Hermione’s throat.

“The weapon.” She says, still sobbing quietly. Hermione will thank Blaise for passing to her his theatrics ability.

“Weapon?” She asks, eyes wide in excitement, her voice dancing, “so it’s true then? Dumbledore is planning to attack the ministry!”

“Yes.” She replies.

“What is then? Tell me!”

“We—I—we don’t know, we did what he asked us to. It’s big! It’s huge, I have no idea what it is, we—"

“Where is it?”

“In the forest.” Hermione replies promptly.

The color vanishes from Umbridge face and she draws back, Hermione comes up with some excuse to why it's there and convinces her to go see it, she will take her, but only her, because it's too dangerous. 

Umbridge nods excitedly, buying it all, eager to see whatever it was and have this weapon.

“You! Come with me!” She points her wand at Harry and he gets up, “the rest of you keep watch on them, I don’t want anyone leaving this office before I return!” She orders and the Inquisitorial Squad nods eagerly.

Umbridge mutters to herself excitedly and misses a lot of things happening around her, like Draco and Pansy exchanging glances and Draco whispering in her ear, “What are you planning?”

“They need to go after us.” Hermione whispers back and nods in direction of Ron, Ginny, Luna and Neville.

“Granger—"

“Go on girl, show me where it is!” Umbridge demands and Hermione nods.

Draco slowly lets her go, but not before squeezing her arm and whispering. “Come back, please.”

 

**June 16th, 1996. Time Room. Day 589**

Hermione crouches behind a shelf of nasty looking brains as a curse flies past her hair.

_“Stupefy!”_ She hears Harry yell and a Death Eater falls back.

“Potter is in here!” Dolohov yells and several feet can be heard as they become surrounded by at least four Death Eaters.

“Hiding under the desks Potter, aren’t you a little too old for that?” Comes the snarling voice of Lucius Malfoy.

_“Stupefy!”_ Hermione cries and her curse misses Dolohov by an inch.

_“Avada Kedavra!”_ Lucius yells at the same time Hermione jumps to her side, she sees, in wide eyes, the curse hitting exactly where she was a second ago.

_“EXPELIARMUS!”_ Harry roars and at the same time he jumps over the table and crashes on top of the Death Eater he just disarmed.

Neville casts a stunning spell that almost hits Harry instead of the Death Eater as both of them struggle to reach their wands.

A red jet of light passes Harry’s head and hits a big jar of variously shaped hour-glasses and Hermione gasps horrified when they fall on the Death Eater and his head starts to change till it looks like a baby.

The noise she makes draws attention back to her, and Dolohov, stepping over Jugson fallen body, casts something that hits her leg and burns her skin.

_“Stupefy!”_ She yells, between screams of pain and blurred vision. The red jet hits Dolohov straight in the chest and he falls.

Harry pulls her to her feet and the three of them leave the room with Lucius and Mulciber behind them, firing spells in their direction, 

_“Bombarda!”_ Hermione yells, aiming somewhere behind her and she hears a boom and multiple hourglasses breaking.

“Beware!” Lucius voice roars, “go after them! Do not kill Potter before you have the Prophecy!” he barks orders, “the mudblood is mine!”

Hermione, half running, half being pulled by Harry, has her heart in her throat. Lucius is after to kill her. 

Draco’s dad wants to kill her.

_You only have the Hogwarts walls_

A curse in their direction passes between Harry and her, they both jump to different sides, Harry, with both legs working properly, quickly jumps back on his feet and resume his run. Hermione takes longer to catch up with them, wincing as she forces her leg to run.

Neville, ahead of them, blasts another shelf and sets the Death Eaters back a good few meters, winning them an advantage. They all leave the Time Room and enter a narrow corridor, lined with books around them; they run past it and pull a door open.

“Ginny?” Harry yells, at the same time Hermione calls for Ron and Neville for Luna.

A jet of green light comes in their direction and Harry bangs the door close seconds before it knocked on the door and the light is lost in the spinning room.

“What door?” Hermione asks, panting and clutching her leg.

“Let’s try this one.” Harry says and opens the one now in front of them.

When nothing comes in their direction, they step in and walk straight ahead, trying to find the others.

“HERE!” Bellows a voice and the three of them crouch down at the same instant a green light hits the wall behind Neville, “THEY ARE HERE! IT’S AN OFFI—"

_“Silencio!”_ Hermione yells and the Death Eater’s voice is extinguished, but it’s too late, because Lucius and Nott had just entered the room and seen them.

_“Petrificus Totallus!”_ Harry yells just in time Nott raises his wand.

“Harry watch out!” Hermione cries and before Harry can look, Lucius’s slashing spell catches her straight in the chest and she screams as the purple flames engulf her.

 

**June 27th, 1996. St. Mungo’s. Day 600**

Her head feels like it's being constantly bombarded, her entire body aches, and she feels her chest heavy. Hermione tries opening her eyes but immediately regrets when the light almost burn her eyes and shoots yet another wave of pain in her head.

Hermione tries to understand where she is without opening her eyes, using her other senses. She can smell Sulphur and some cleaning product. She is in the infirmary. 

Why would she—Oh! The department of mysteries! Harry! She tries to move but notices her body isn't responding her commands. She also notices that the heavy weight on her chest is a person.

“I’m so sorry,” the heavy weight cries and she recognizes the expensive cologne as Draco’s.

She tries opening her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.

Hermione is starting to get really frustrated.

“I’m sorry Hermione,” he cries and moves to kiss her forehead, Hermione cowardly keeps her eyes closed, still pretending to be asleep, “why you must be so stubborn? I begged you to stay.” He says, his voice broken, his head resting on hers.

She urges her body to move but it still won’t obey her, she wants to hug him, comfort him.

“You were the best thing that happened to me,” he is saying onto her hair, “I always believed I could’ve everything but then you appeared, and it made me furious Granger, because I wanted you and then I made you mine but how selfish was that? Because you are the only thing I can’t have—he tried to kill you Hermione, he—" Draco takes a deep breath and kisses her hair, her temple, her cheeks, the corner of her lips.

Hermione can taste his tears.

“I’m so sorry.” He cries, “I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.” He whispers to her lips and she feels him leaving her bed. 

She recognizes the quote from Pride and Prejudice and her heart is beating hard in her chest and one single tear escapes after she hears Draco close her door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTICE: I have good news and bad news. I mean, the good news is for me and the bad news is for you I guess. Anyway, I'm going on holiday tomorrow. I will be visiting South Korea for 20 days so unfortunately during this period I won't be able to update the fic, because I won't be taking my notebook with me (lots lots of Kpop albums to buy, I need space). I'm so so sorry about missing three weeks of updates but I swear I will post two new ones as soon as I get back!!
> 
> If you like Kpop or is just a curious person and want to follow my adventures, you can follow me on [INSTAGRAM](https://www.instagram.com/camilabolano/) for updates. 
> 
> I'm writing here as well in case anyone skipped the notes at the beginning.
> 
> I hope you liked the chapter and I will see you all on October 30th.


	26. Twenty Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! I'm back!! I literally landed yesterday and am still a little bit jet lagged but I thought you've been waiting for so long already that I decided to post the new chapter.
> 
> I hope you like it!

**October 17th, 2003. Hogwarts. Day 5459**

 

“Look! The stairs! Dad!” Caelum says excitedly.

“Son, I studied here.” Draco chuckles and rolls his eyes at his child who is jumping instead of walking.

“This is so cool! Teddy will be so jealous when I tell him I came to Hogwarts before eleven.

“I think you are the first 5-year-old to come to Hogwarts.” Draco says ceremoniously and has to hide his laughter with the way Caelum widen his eyes.

“So cool,” he says again. A group of fifth years pass them and start to aw and woo when they spot Caelum, who giggles and hides in Draco’s robes, which only makes them aw louder.

Draco has a class in half an hour and he will have to sit Caelum on his desk and hope that the boy stays still.

“Mr. Malfoy.” He hears behind him.

“Oh Shit.” Draco mutters when he recognizes McGonagall’s voice.

“Dad said a bad word!” Caelum squeals.

“That he did.” McGonagall tells Caelum and the boy giggles. She turns to Draco then, “I have no doubt that your son is excellent in magic, with the parents he has, but I believe he’s a little young to be here.”

“Dad said I’m the first 5-year-old to ever come to Hogwarts.” Caelum says proudly, and he sounds so much like Hermione that makes Draco cringe.

McGonagall chuckles and says, “I don’t know how you managed to hide his maternity all these years when he’s her perfect copy.” McGonagall's eyes sparkle as she looks fondly at the boy and Draco might regret later, but he suddenly has a great idea.

“You should see him when he starts asking questions, he sounds so much like her that it gives me headaches. I was planning to sit him through my potions class but between the first years confused looks and Caelum’s questions—”

“Why don’t you leave him with me? I don’t have classes right now and would be my pleasure taking care of him.”

_YES_ “I wouldn’t want to impose—”

“Oh, it’s fine!" McGonagall waves him off and turns to Caelum, she has a smile on her lips that Draco doesn't think he has seen it before. At least never aimed at him. "I bet he’d have a greater time at my office than watching boring potions, right?” She asks the boy and he nods eagerly.

“Uncle Harry said you are in Professor Dumbledore’s old office and that his office was the coolest ever!”

Draco is sure that the ‘uncle Harry’ thing just took 2 years off McGonagall lifespan.

“It is! Your uncle Harry spent a lot of time there, with the amount of trouble he got in. Would you like to visit there?”

“Sure!”

Hermione can forget the ‘brightest of her age’ title, because Draco Malfoy is a fucking genius. 

 

**October 23th 2003. St. Mungo’s. Day 5465**

 

Hermione opens her eyes to find George sitting at the end of the bed.

“Hey,” she says, with a smile, she had missed her favorite Weasley.

“Hello, yourself.” He says with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“What happened?” 

“Just came back from a funeral.” He replies and Hermione just now notices his black robes.

“Oh no, who?”

“Hannah.” He sighs, “they killed her in front of the entire Three Broomsticks. They are wearing masks—Much for trying to avenge people’s death huh? Wearing their clothes.”

“Merlin” Hermione mutters. “How’s Neville? I can’t even begin to imagine how he must be feeling—"

“He’s terrible, poor bloke. As if he hasn’t lost enough. As if we all haven’t.”

“The world is cruel George, I’ve stopped believing otherwise years ago.”

“I just hoped we had had our share of cruelty already and maybe our kids too.” Hermione nods, “did anyone else was—" her voice croaked.

“No, they came, cast the killing curse and left, the pub was packed, it was a Hogsmeade weekend.” He explains, Hermione quickly looks at her calendar. 

Six days had passed since she was awake.

_Caelum._

“Oh no,” she mutters, her eyes filing up with tears, “Cael was here, wasn’t he?” She asks.

George nods, his eyes immensely sad, “I’m sorry Hermione.”

“I was delirious, wasn’t I?”

“Harry said it was ugly and Malfoy seemed pretty shaken.”

“God, and Caelum saw it all?”

“Yeah, but Malfoy said he took it well, considering… He’s a smart boy Hermione, a little too much for his age but—he understands, here--" He shuffles through his robes and removes a letter from one of his pockets, "he wrote you a letter.” Hermione raises an eyebrow at that, “Well, Malfoy wrote, it’s Caelum’s words.”

Hermione grabs it from George’s hand and smiles at Draco’s fancy letters with childish words.

_Hi mum, I hope you are well!_  
I wanted to stay until you woke but dad said it could take a while and he needed to return to Hogwarts and wanted to take me with him. Uncle Blaise said he would fetch me the moment you opened your eyes. I’m waiting.  
Dad told me everything that’s going on and I’m so sorry mum. I’m also scared, but dad promises me you are going to be fine and I believe in him.  
The day after we arrived at Hogwarts, there was the attack on Professor Longbottom’s girlfriend and now a lot of parents want to bring their kids back home, dad says there’s no place safer than Hogwarts and even though you have read me Hogwarts: a history, I agree with him.  
Professor Longbottom substitute is Professor Sprout and Headmistress McGonagall told her about you, because dad is now working with plants. I think she told her about me too because at dinner last night she cried when she looked at me.  
Dad told me about Cassie. I miss her. A lot. Dad misses her too.  
Dad offered to take me to see her, but I said I wanted us to go together.  
Grandpa knows too, and I heard him telling Nan the other day, I never saw her so angry. Not even with Astoria. And that is saying A LOT. She set fire to a lot of things and cursed for hours, I didn’t know half of the words she was saying but I agree with her.  
I think that’s why Dad brought me with him.  
Love you. 

She chuckles after reading it and carefully folds it.

“Malfoy does know how to do Hogwarts in a style.” George chuckles, “never imagined him to be a good dad.”

“He is.” She smiles, and he pats her knee.

“So, they know about Cassie now.” He says and the small smile on her face falls, “it’s okay to stop grieving you know? She won’t be mad at you for this. It took me long before I understood.”

“I know. I understand it now.”

“Malfoy threw Harry out of his classroom yesterday, he had called him Draco.” George says, changing completely the subject, “I think it was too much for him or he reached his friend quota.”

Hermione chuckles and smiles again, “they will be friends by the end of all this, you will see.”

“Well, I think it’s already happening.” He laughs but the laughter dies quickly on his end.

“George, what are you not telling me?”

“They caught who did it. The trial was before the funeral. It was Dennis Creevey. Remember him? Collin’s brother? The one who fell on the lake his first year—"

“WHAT?”

“Yeah, he is pretty mad, it was horrible to watch. Bellatrix killed his brother during the war, he was going on and on about it during his trial, Narcissa was there, you should have seen the way he screamed at her, it was like she was her sister.”

“But, why now? Why five years later?”

George shrugs, “why do it at all? And he’s not alone; they are calling themselves the Seventeen Revolution, he told us a lot of things, but couldn’t say many names, apparently, they are stealing a lot of ideas from the Death Eaters—there are seventeen of them, hence the name, there’s people from all four houses and he laughed loudly while telling we all had friends that were a part of it.”

“God, seventeen? And it’s a stupid name if you ask me.”

“I thought so, but if they are seventeen barking mad like him, I wouldn’t care much about the name.”

“He attacked a crowded pub,” she repeats, still not quiet believing.

“He did." He nods and silence fills the room. everything is moving so fast and Hermione hates how she's missing all of it. She hates that she can't help them. She doesn't mind not being out in the field with them, she never cared about it, but it breaks something inside of her not be able to do anything. she knows there must be clues to be analyzed, patterns to be noticed and she can't do a single thing. "Oh, I almost forgot!" George says after a while, "I think we will be moving to the Manor,”

“What?” Hermione asks, stupefied.

“Dean mentioned something about being suspicious about Seamus- _yes_ can you believe that? But anyway, he said Seamus was way too curious about who was the Secret Keeper for the Malfoys and he mentioned that Lee said something about Charlie being The Burrow’s and both Lee and Seamus knows about The Burrow anyway, so we are all being cautions around them—"

“But Lee is—"

“My best friend? Yes. Is working with me for years? Yes. Threw a fit after Fred died? Completely.”

“I know. Harry had put him already on that list, but—I don’t know, it doesn’t seem much likely.”

“Constant Vigilance, right?”

“I guess.” She mumbles. The worst part is having to put her friends on the list of possible murderers.

“And Lee knows about my house and you know, after Mum—well, we all put Fidelius Charms on it.”

“Ron is moving to the Manor?” She asks, cocking an eyebrow.

“You should have seen it Hermione, he vented for almost an hour. I wish you were there to knock some sense into him-- Anyway, Harry was supposed to be telling you this. I think he’s coming here later today for you to tell the others the Secret.”

“Won’t be suspicious that many people coming in here? I could write a note, like Dumbledore did.”

“That would be helpful, yeah, better than all the coming and going.”

“Is everyone going to fit at the Manor?” She asks and George’s eyes twinkles with mischief.

“Have you seen the size of that house? There’s enough room for the entire family! There’s like, 12 spares bedrooms!”

“I never went to the upper floor.” She replies, chuckling at George’s excitement.

“There are mainly bedrooms. There’s Lucius and Narcissa’s, Draco’s, there’s one that was Snape’s, there’s Caelum’s, and a dozen empty ones that can sleep three nicely.”

“Who is moving then?”

“Harry, Ginny, Ron, Bill, Fleur and the kids, Audrey and the girls, and I.”

“And Percy?”

“He is refusing to leave work and hide, but dad convinced him to at least bring them.”

“Is Arthur coming too?”

“Yeah, he didn’t want to leave the Burrow, you know, it will be empty then but, he knows it’s dangerous for him to stay and by himself more so. I’d like to see him and Lucius living under the same roof.”

“At least is a big house.” Hermione says.

“Not nearly big enough for some.”

“How’s the Malfoys dealing with this—how can I say—Weasley’s diaspora?” She asks, amused.

“Lucius had a lot to say, he and Draco had a major roll a couple of days ago, Narcissa intervened when they started throwing things, I didn’t picture her as the one who had the last word, but damn, that woman has Lucius on a collar.”

“I never doubted, she did lie in Voldemort’s face during the war.”

 

**October 26th, 2003. Malfoy Manor. Day 5468**

Draco is going mad. He thought his seven years at Hogwarts was more than enough to be with Weasleys and if someone had told him years ago that the entire red-headed family would be moving to his house he’d laugh at their face and then send whoever said it to Janus Thickey Ward.

But as it is, he's helping Audrey Weasley with her trunk to the room she would be sharing with her daughters.

“Do you need any more help?” He hears himself asking.

“No, that was all. Thank you again for letting us stay here for a while.” Audrey Weasley says and Draco nods.

“No problem at all, if you need something else, you only need to call for one of the elves, they were instructed to help all of you.”

Teddy and Caelum pass by racing each other in his walk to his wing of the Manor.

“No running indoors!” He hears his mother call.

“Changing your mind already?” He asks his mother after stopping next to her.

They are standing in front of the big tapestry in front of the stairwell. She has her hair in a bun and the leaves of her robes are rolled up. He almost laughs at the sight, his mother never looked so carefree in her house.

“Strange as it is, I’m not. It feels lived in; the Elves loved cleaning the extra bedrooms and so many people to serve, I heard Dipsy and Caddie jumping around excitedly and taking orders from one of them, the ginger one.”

“They are all ginger mother.”

“The twin, which one lived again?”

“George.”

“Oh, yes, yes! I knew it was something like that! They are so many! I will ask the elves to tag them.”

“Mother,” he sighs, “you can’t tag other people.”

“I suppose you are right.” She replies and then sigh. “Can you imagine if he was alive?” She asks, pointing at Abraxas, his grandfather.

“I suppose it could be worse." He shrugs, "Hermione told me once there was a portrait at Grimmauld Place of Walburga and she kept yelling insults at her. At least we don’t have any of that.” 

“Walburga was an awful woman, it’s a shame Reg was so young and didn’t have any friends who could have took him in like Sirius.”

“You never talk about them.”

“They have been dead for a long time now and when Sirius got sorted in Gryffindor, Dromeda had just been disowned, I didn’t want much to do with him from there, Reg was younger, I was Head Girl when he came to Hogwarts, we weren’t close, but I never wished what happened to him.”

“How’s father?” Draco asked after a little silence, he knew his mother was full of regrets and talking about her family didn’t make her happy – even if she was still proud to be a Black.

“He’s venting. I don’t think he has stopped murmuring insults under his breath since the first Weasley arrived.”

“Is he going to hide until they leave?”

“I think that’s the plan.” She chuckles, and he shakes his head, “anyway, look what I did.” She says, and he notices a sad smile on her face as she points to the line of his successors.

His breath gets caught in his throat. Where until yesterday the name Caelum Malfoy appeared alone under Draco’s name, now it is beside Cassiopeia Malfoy and beside his name is the name Hermione Granger.

He touches the tapestry where his daughter name is engraved and admires it, with brimming eyes, the small portrait of her face.

“I tried to picture how she’d look today and charmed so she’d keep growing in the portrait beside Caelum.”

“It’s perfect.” He whispers, a lump on his throat, “Mother, I—” He turns to her and Narcissa smiles sadly.

“You don’t need to say anything, darling.” She said, “I was going to put Miss Granger’s name as Hermione Malfoy née Granger, but I didn’t want to be that much presumptuous. And besides, I think it’d be the breaking point for your father.”

He chuckles but doesn't answer. He veers to himself: when after all this mess ends, he’s going to fulfil the promise he made when he gave her the necklace eight years ago. He will make her rightfully his.

 

**October 31st 2003. St. Mungos. Day 5473**

“Caelum sent another letter,” Harry says, not even five minutes after arriving, and hands her the parchment.

_I’m so excited mum! After all of yours and Dad’s stories about Halloween in Hogwarts I can’t believe I get to see it early! Headmistress McGonagall has put pumpkins everywhere and the entire castle has some sort of orange and black tinge to it._  
Nan says the Weasley’s are driving Grandpa insane and he hasn’t left his quarters in a week. I’ll go back to the house after Halloween so I can spend a little time with him too.  
Well, I hope you are ok. I miss you Mum  
Happy Halloween, love you! 

“I’m glad he’s happy staying at Hogwarts. And that he won’t face any trolls tonight.” She says, Harry chuckles.

“I think the troll is at the Manor.” He replies.

“That bad?”

“No." Harry says, "not really. Narcissa seems very happy to have the house full, but she will say good morning and goodnight when she passes one of us and that’s it. Lucius is hidden, he only comes down to meals and then back to his quarters.”

“Well, at least everyone isn’t fighting.”

“No. Everyone seems very mature.” He nods amused,

“And Ron?”

“He’s keeping quiet mostly, spends a lot of time in the Winter Garden with Teddy. Ginny and I, we have the feeling he wants to have kids soon. But he stormed out on us after we asked him.”

“He does. He asked me once, a little before the accident, but I—"

“I know. And with Cassie—" She can see him clenching his jaw, "Hermione, you should have told us.”

“I know,” she sighs, “keeping her a secret was my way of coping, I guess.” Harry nods.

“Narcissa added you and Cassie to the family’s tapestry.” Harry says and Hermione’s eyes widen. “On the day we moved, he was there with Caelum to help, he spent hours staring at it, Cassie moves and she has Caelum’s age in the portrait. I guess he’s coping.”

“How’s he? I haven’t seen him since—"

“When he’s not teaching, he’s working on the potion, I don’t think he has left the Dungeons in weeks, it’s not healthy and he looks ill.”

“Talk to him?” She asks, pleading.

“And say what? Stop working to save my best friend’s life? He has invited all of us to stay in The Manor in safety, I can’t ask him anything else.”

 

**October 31st 2003. Potions Classroom. Day 5473**

They are finishing up for the day – it’s two in the morning and they have a house to return to. Pansy is yawning all the way out of the door, Daphne is rubbing her eyes tiredly and Theo is massaging her back while they walk.

Draco feels guilt.

“Potter,” he calls, he’s been meaning to say this for a while now, but he knows he will pass as nice if he does and he’s not exactly sure if that’s something he wants. Not with Potter anyway.

“Yeah?” Potter asks, staying behind as the others leave the Dungeons.

“You don’t need to come here every day,” he starts, not quite meeting the other’s eyes, “I know you are the head of the investigations and you basically don’t stop working with the Aurors—”

He knows a lot of them have dropped their jobs for the time being, like Percy’s wife, Arthur and Ginny. But Potter is still working, and helping him and visiting Hermione, Draco groans internally with the Boy-Who-Lived and his perfectness.

“She’s my best friend Malfoy.” It’s his reply and Draco has learned enough about his former enemy to know that his answer is enough.

He knows in his tired eyes, slouched shoulders and scared expression that Potter, like him, would postpone sleep for as long necessary if it meant saving her. Draco feels a wave of respect for the man in front of him.

“I know.” He says.

“If you get to worry about me—" Draco scowls at him and the amusement and mirth in his words, “I think I should say this: it’s okay to stop for a minute, to rest. I doubt you even left the Dungeons in days.”

“She’s everything.” Draco replies and he’s being honest.

Hermione has been everything since his fifth year and he has lived long enough without her to take the risk of losing her forever.

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the patience and it's good to be back!! 
> 
> Updates come on Fridays


	27. Twenty Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm back with another one!
> 
> From this chapter onwards we are entering a rough path in the fic as in: there will be angst. you've been warned
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy and leave comments.

**August 8th, 1996. Diagon Alley. Day 642**

The moment he saw her, his eyes widened for a second before he schooled his face in a scowl. She watched as him looked at the trio from the mirror and his face hardened and his grey eyes narrowed.

“Mother, if you are wondering what the foul smell is, a mudblood just walked in,” Draco says, and both Harry and Ron draw their wands. Hermione is too busy being stunned at his words and from the venom laced in it.

“There won’t be any of that in my shop!” Madam Malkin says, “and put those wands away!” She adds hastily and goes to fetch another pin and tape measure.

“Don’t,” Hermione says, coming down from her shock and pulling Harry’s wand arm down, the boy doesn't budge, just shakes Hermione out of him.

“Yeah, like you’d dare to do anything out of Hogwarts without Dumbledore to save your ass.” Draco sneers and then turns to Hermione, who feels a lump in her throat from the disgusting look he's giving her, “who blacked your eye Granger? I will send them a gift!”

Ron goes forward, his wand ready, Hermione holds him back. She just stares at him.

“That’s enough!” Madam Malkin says sharply and tries yet again to measure Draco’s left arm, but the boy keeps flinching at her.

Narcissa Malfoy appears behind a rack and with a look of pure disgust thrown at them, says, “Put those wands away Weasley.” She says Ron’s name as if it's a nasty disease, “don’t you dare attack my son again or I will ensure it’s the last thing you ever do.”

“Oh really?” Harry asks, his eyes narrowed and not at all caring about her threat, “what are you going to do? Round up a few of your Death Eater pals to do us in?” Hermione hears Madam Malkin making a strangled sound.

“Really—there’s no need—these kind of accusations, no—dangerous—I wouldn’t, no—put those wands away—please, I—" Madam Malkin splutters, her face red and hands shaking.

Harry doesn’t move, his hand now pointed at Narcissa, Ron keep his pointed at Draco. Hermione tries to catch Draco’s eyes, but the boy won’t look at her.

Narcissa smiles menacingly at Harry, “I see.” She says with a humor that doesn't match her face, “being Dumbledore’s favorite has given you a false sense of security Potter, but he won’t be always there to protect you.”

“He isn’t here now. Why don’t you try to have a go? You might even find a double cell in Azkaban for you and your husband.” Harry says viciously and Hermione flinches.

Draco jerks away from Madam Malkin and makes a movement towards Harry, but stumbles over his robes, which only makes Ron laugh loudly.

“Don’t you dare Potter, to talk to my mother like that!” Draco snarls.

“Draco, it’s ok” Narcissa says calmly, putting a hand on Draco’s shoulder, keeping him by her side, “I’m sure Potter will be reunited with dear Sirius before I am reunited with Lucius.” She says icily, her voice terrifyingly cold and just like Bellatrix’s.

Harry’s wand is now at Narcissa’s face and Hermione goes forward, pulling him back.

“Harry, no!” She begs, grabbing his arm and pushing it down, “think Harry—you will be in such trouble—please.”

Madam Malkin seizes the moment and goes back to Draco’s robes, but he jerks away from her and slaps her hand away.

“Watch out woman!” He sneers. “Mother, I don’t think I want these anymore,” He said and pulls the robes over his head and throw them at Madam Malkin’s feet, Hermione watches everything with wide, disbelieving eyes.

“You are right Draco,” says Narcissa, and with an arrogant and insulting glance at her says, “knowing what kind of scum that shops here, I believe we will find things suited for us at Twilfitt and Tatting’s.” She says, her head high and her nose scrunched, as if Hermione smells really bad. Hermione thinks she sees Draco flinch but before she can think something of it, the pair strides out of the shop with Draco banging his shoulder as hard as he could into Ron on his way.

Hermione gulps down the lump on her throat.

Hermione fidgets during Harry’s entire fitting, she doesn’t know what to make out of the encounter, Draco hadn’t been that evil with her for years now, not even when he called her names last year when with Crabbe and Goyle, now, he looked at her like he’d prefer to swallow poison than to look at her.

The trio went to Fred and George’s shop and Hermione looked around marveled, everything so colorful and so different from the rest of Diagon Alley. The noise inside the shop, the laughter, the sounds of exploding jokes and flying toys made her smile as she strolled around with Ginny.

Harry and Fred find them around the Patented Daydream Charms and stirs them towards what he says is Wonder Witch Special, whatever that is.

Hermione soon finds herself in an array of pink products, pink smoke and herd of giggling girls. She looks at the things warily.

“I present you ladies, the best range of love potions you will find anywhere.”

Ginny eyes the things and her brother skeptically, “do they work?” She asks.

“Of course, they work! Up to twenty-four hours at a time! Well, it depends on the weight of the boy—"

“And the attractiveness of the girl” Says George, who had reappeared suddenly.

“But we are not selling them to our sister—" Says Fred,

“Or to Hermione” George says, nodding.

“Not when she already has a boy for her and our sister has already five boys on the line.” 

Fred says and both twins wink at them.

“What boy?” Hermione asks, her eyes wide.

“Whatever Ron said it’s a lie.” Ginny says at the same time, “And what’s this anyway?”

George goes on in an explanation and then more questioning towards Ginny about her boyfriends, Hermione notices Harry standing awkwardly and Hermione smiles at him. Harry is obvious on his crush.

“Look furtively on your left,” Fred whispers in her ear and she jumps a little before doing what he said.

Hermione finds Draco leaning on in a boarded-up shop two shops down from them on the other side of the street and he is stealing glances in her direction.

She turns to Fred with wide eyes and he only smiles smugly.

“How?” She whispers.

“I won’t reveal my tricks now, will I?”

“Fred, I’m serious! How did you—"

“Relax, it’s just me and George who knows and we don’t plan in telling anyone.”

“Fred.” She calls.

“You sound just like mum, geez.” He says and then huffs when she narrows her eyes at him. “Okay, we saw the two you sneak out of the Room of Requirement once and you coming out of the dungeons twice.”

“I—" She starts but he waves her off.

“Is he treating you right?” He asks and there is a seriousness in his voice and eyes that Hermione hardly sees in him.

She thinks back at their exchange earlier and then to St. Mungo’s two months ago and all those days and nights in the Room of Requirement or in the empty office and a small smile appears on her lips. 

Fred grins, pats her shoulder and then moves to annoy Ginny along with George.

“But you’re moving through boyfriends a bit fast, aren’t you?”

“That’s not of your business.” She replies in gritted teeth and her stance and glare are a perfect copy of when Molly is mad at the twins, Hermione chuckles.

Ron reappearea carrying dozens of merchandise and Ginny slaps his arm, making him drop half of the stuff he is carrying.

“Hey! What was that for?” He asks angrily and kneels to grab the stuff from the floor.

“For telling tales about me to these two! Five boys?!” She asks angrily, and Ron cheeks redden, but before he can reply, Ginny walks away with her new Pigmy Puff.

“Hey, look at that.” Harry calls and Hermione and Ron looks at where Harry is pointing with his head.

Draco is hurrying up from the shop he was leaning on, glancing over his shoulder every two steps, he makes a point to ignore the Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes window and then turns on a corner, where they lose sight of him.

“Wonder where his mummy is.” Says Harry, with a frown.

“Given her the slip, is what it looks like.” Ron says.

Hermione frowns at both of them, way too used to them to not understand what is going through their heads, especially in Harry’s, who loathes Draco.

Harry keeps staring at the space where Draco vanished and his expression is thoughtful, Hermione doesn't like it at all, she is sure he's thinking Draco is up to ten wrong things and is thinking about ten more ways to find out what.

Harry glances around and noticing only her, and Ron were paying attention to him, pulls the cloak from his pocket. Hermione groans.

“Come on!” Ron says to her and the three quickly hide under it, crouching so their feet won't show under the cloak. They are way too old to hide under it.

 

**August 31st, 1996. The Burrow. Day 665**

“I already said, I don’t know what I saw,” Hermione says, frustration thick on her voice. Harry is obsessed about what they saw that day on Diagon Alley and Hermione doesn't want to talk about it, doesn't want to hear Harry’s and Ron’s ideas.

“But do you agree there’s something fishy about it?” Harry asks, Hermione sighs.

“I don’t know, maybe.” She replies

“And what about whatever he wanted to mend?” He asks for what seemed like the millionth time, “whatever that is, he has one that is broken and needs another one that’s at the shop—Hermione, when you were there didn’t you saw anything—"

“Harry, I already said like, a million times!” She says, her voice almost snappish, “I didn’t see anything that looked like it worked in pairs.”

“You missed something, I’m sure! He was looking very satisfied when he left the shop; I’m sure he’s up to something.”

Hermione doesn't answer, the past two weeks were spent on Harry wondering what Draco was up to and she didn’t need him going over multiple ideas, one worse than the last when Hermione herself was wondering what was going on and why he treated her like that at Madam Malkin.

“And what about whatever Malfoy showed Borgin that frightened him?”

“It could have been money.” Ron said, “we all know he’s loaded.”

“And why would he be terrified of money?” Harry asks angrily, clearly thinking Ron isn't being a great help.

“Yeah—guess it was some dirt that Malfoy’s father had on him and Malfoy threatened him with it,” Ron tries again, but Hermione notices how he's half-heartedly throwing ideas.

“That’s it! Lucius Malfoy!”

“What?” Both Ron and Hermione ask.

“His father is in Azkaban, right? So Malfoy took his place! He is a Death Eater now!” 

“WHAT?” Hermione asks too loudly, too defensive. “He’s sixteen!” She adds hastily.

“Yeah, Harry, why would You-Know-Who want anything to do with Malfoy anyway? It’s not like he’s special.” Ron said, laughing at his own joke.

“It is very unlikely Harry.” Hermione says in a repressive voice, her eyes narrow at him and she knows she is almost giving herself away.

“Come on Hermione! Whatever Malfoy showed Borgin frightened him, and I bet it was the Dark Mark!” Hermione flinches at the word.

“I don’t think Malfoy would join Voldemort.” Ron flinches at the name, “and anyway, he’s sixteen, why would Voldemort let him join if Malfoy wanted to?” She adds after noticing Harry looking at her weirdly.

“I don’t know, but it makes sense. At Madam Malkin, Malfoy kept flinching whatever she came near his left arm! Did you see the way he reacted when she tried to roll up his sleeve? He’s branded with the Mark!”

Hermione stares hard at Harry, biting her lip to not say something very rude and very inappropriate. Ron looks dubiously, and Hermione thanks the gods that at least Ron was seeing some sense.

“I’m sure he just wanted to leave Harry, he didn’t want to be there after we arrived.”

“You don’t know him Hermione!” He snaps. “You can’t be sure! I’m telling you, he has the Dark Mark, he’s one of them now!”

“Well, if you are so sure, there’s no need for us to talk about it.” She snaps back, grabbing her stuff around her and leaving the boys. 

She wouldn’t hear about it anymore.

 

**September 16th, 1996. Great Hall. Day 680**

Two weeks.

It was how much she gave herself before starting to think their thing was over. She gave him two weeks before letting herself be hurt. Hermione always knew whatever they were doing was a time bomb, every second ticking closer to the inevitable explosion. That she knew. But she thought their friendship would mean something more. Draco had proven he cared about her, he had jump in to help her three times last year and that was why it didn’t made sense. 

At first, she thought he was mad with her about his father. It was because of her that his father ended up in Azkaban. But she remembered he visited her in St. Mungos. And she also knew he didn’t know she knew he was there and that she heard him. 

She heard him whisper in her hair as she cowardly pretended to be sleeping, because she knew then, knew that whatever he was saying, it wasn’t for her to hear. And when the words ‘I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun’ she knew it was a quote from Pride And Prejudice but she didn’t know what he meant. 

But that was months ago.

After the way he treated her at Diagon Alley, after calling her a mudblood, after acting like she smelled like something nasty. Now, he avoided being in the same place as her longer than it was necessary. 

And she was everywhere. She made sure of that. 

She sat on his table in the library; she stood in the middle of the Great Hall doors making him pass her, in the classes they shared, she sat as close as possible and she stared.

He still had to look in her way.

Draco didn’t walk with the others anymore, she noticed, it was always Crabbe and Goyle, and Pansy, the too beautiful Slytherin girl, who was back at looking at him like he was everything and God, Hermione knew it was true. But it hurt her all the same.

She hated it. Hated the rumors going around, hated seeing her with a hand on his arm, with her head on his shoulder on or his lap. She hated how Pansy could touch him like that without the whole world ending. She hated that she hated it.

It is Thursday morning when the whispers around the Gryffindor table are a little louder than usual and she hears names like Malfoy, McGonagall and Parkinson and curious eyes stare at the blond and point to the now empty glass of green emeralds that till yesterday had fifty points. It is still morning when her blood howls as Ginny talks excitedly beside her.

“Have you heard? McGonagall caught Malfoy and Parkinson going at it inside a broom’s closet last night.” And Hermione feels like her ribs are breaking inwards, like that spider had done two years ago because of the Cruciatus Curse, in fact, Hermione feels like she is receiving the curse for the way her blood boils and her body seems to be being stabbed by hundreds of knives.

“Is that it?” She asks and her voice is croaked.

“Yes! Can you imagine McGonagall face when she found them? I bet she threw a fit!” 

“Well, I bet it was a first seeing the dynamics of it up close.” Seamus jokes and her friends all cry with laughter.

Hermione feels like crying for a whole different reason.

“I need to go to the library,” she says, and her voice is too high-pitched for it to go unnoticed. She knows her chin is two seconds away from trembling, so she gets up quickly before it becomes too obvious and she bites her lower lip to prevent from crying in frustration when her shaking hands drops the book she was trying to put inside her bag.

On her way out, she can feel the eyes of her friends on her back and she can almost feel his too, that’s why – and only why – she turns to his table and finds him looking at her for the first time this year. He looks exactly like she remembered, on all his ivory glory, but now with blank grey eyes and are those bags under his eyes?

Parkinson is keeping him awake then. She thinks bitterly and the sob that fight its way out of her mouth is animalist and she quickens her stride as her vision turns a blurry mess of tears.

Hermione stops crying as quickly as she started. Sitting at the trunk of a tree near the entrance of the viaduct, ignoring her obvious absence at Ancient Runes, she goes through a list in her head of reasons why she was pathetic. 

They started kissing just like they started talking, out of nowhere. She never was the kind of person to go with the flow, she always thought every step and the pros and cons of everything and she hated that with him she just jumped head first, obviously doing the thinking part just now.

They never said they were exclusive, hell, they never said anything. Well, Draco did say they were nothing months ago. 

Draco Malfoy was nothing. They were nothing. 

Ok, maybe, just maybe they were stolen glances in long corridors and a nod towards an empty room or behind a tapestry. They were late night conversations and way too many bickering that started to end in snogging sessions instead of a pillow in the other’s head or a smack with a parchment. It was brushing knees in Charms and touching hips on Potions. It was too much staring and even more ridiculous jokes because neither assumed they liked the other a little bit more than acquainted. It was scowling at the other or sneering after a kiss because how dare one kiss the other, what an outrage.

Yes, they were nothing, but fuck her if she didn’t wish they were everything.


	28. Twenty Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, apparently I don't know how to follow a schedule. But here's another one! I hope you like it.

**September 19th, 1996. Great Hall. Day 683**

It's her birthday and she has never been more childish, but knowing why he has been ignoring her, it was almost unbearable for her to look at him.

Hermione stopped trying to get a word from him. It was childish the way she turned around when she saw him at the end of corridors or how she managed to arrive at the last second possible to sit at the end of the class so the only thing she could see was his white-blond head five rows in front of her, where his scent didn’t reach her and she could leave the classroom the second the class ended.

Hermione has been avoiding Draco Malfoy like a plague. But she knew it was useless. She was suddenly hyper aware of him – and Pansy, who was now like a limb – and she knew he was close even before she saw him. She could smell him--for fucks sake, the moment he walked inside. She feels like going mad.

But she loses it on that day, after turning left on the sixth floor and stumbling on him.

“Look where you are going Granger.” He snarls and all the sadness she felt during the past few weeks turns into anger. With narrowed eyes and a jaw set, she straightens her body, rolls her shoulders back and puts her nose in the air, in a way that painfully reminds her of him. Because she has learned that stance from him.

“What the fuck is your problem?” She spits and her voice is higher than she expected it would be, so soon in an argument. 

She knows them, she knows this will become an argument in a matter of seconds.

“My problem? You are the one who fell all over me!”

“Yes Malfoy, what’s your fucking problem?” And even with all the anger she feels, she hates how his last name slips easily from her mouth.

“Right now, it’s you.” He snarls back, and she laughs humorlessly.

“Me? Why? Am I keeping you to go to your quickie with Parkinson?” And Hermione wishes the jealousy wasn’t evident in each word.

“Shut up! You don’t know what you are talking about.” He sneers.

“No, I don’t! Because you are ignoring me! Because you don’t even look at me anymore!” She shrieks and she hates how easily she's loosing control in front of him.

“What? Did you think because we fucked last year, I’m supposed to give you a time of day?” He says viciously, and she ignores how much it hurts. She's a lot of things and she feels a lot of things for him. But she won't be the person who cries over boys. Especially boys who are Draco Malfoy.

“No.” _yes, yes, yes,_ she thinks. Hermione wants to scream _‘we fucked and we were something’_. “But you should, because we are friends, you asshole!” She yells instead and shoves his chest.

“Don’t fucking touch me, Mudblood.” He snaps, and his words hit her like a slap, she takes a step back and pushes back the howling inside of her.

“Don’t you dare to call me that, Draco Malfoy.” She says, voice low, eyes narrowed and she points her finger at him. “Don’t you dare try to make me go back to despising you.”

“Why not?” He asks, and he has that look she hates, that air of superiority, the _‘I’m so much better than the rest of the world’_ look, and so, she prepares for what he is going to say, because she knows him and knows how vile he gets when he’s angry and when he’s on defensive mode. “I despise you, in fact, I’m disgusted with you. I’m disgusted with everything that you are, and you defend.” He snarls, and even when it hurts like hell, she knows he is tasting his own lie, knows in the crack of his voice when he says she disgusts him, knows those are the words of another Malfoy man.

“If you wanted me to believe that you hate and loath me, you should have said it two years ago, before I saw the real you.” She starts evenly, “maybe I don’t know what you are going through right now,” and sighs when his eyes narrow at her, “maybe you don’t want to tell me what it is yet, but Draco, I know you and I know your heart, I’ve seen it.” The words leave her lips like a whisper, “and I beg you Draco, whatever chains are holding you back, don’t let them tie you down.”

“That’s your fucking problem Granger." He says, shaking his head, "you see the good in everyone, and you think everyone is as good as your sodding Gryffindors.”

“I don’t see the good in everyone, but I see the good in you.” She says and looks in his eyes. Hermione almost cries with what she sees. He is scared and the bags under his eyes aren't there because of too much sex with Parkinson, something is troubling him. 

He holds her gaze and he has only done that when he was looking for something he thought he could find in her eyes, but this time is different. She feel like he's reading her and it unbalances her. She looks down and he turns around, leaving without saying another word.

 

**October 10th, 1996. Hogsmeade Road. Day 704**

She was a little bit tipsy, ok. But just a tiny little bit tipsy.

Hermione heard Ron muttering something to Harry, about what she said, and Hermione giggled by herself, _no Ron I didn’t mean it_ , she wanted to say, but only another giggle came out, _Draco’s a jerk but I want to kiss him all the same_ , she almost says. Hermione then decides to sing a random song, to keep her mouth occupied as her mind is stumbling over its thoughts.

She had seen him today and she almost made the small arrange of flowers beside her at the Three Broomsticks die with the strength of her jealousy as he watched him follow Katie Bell inside the bathroom. No, she wouldn’t think about that. 

He had made perfectly clear what he thought of her now.

Hermione noticed Katie and a friend of hers walking ahead, her friend seemed angry with Katie for some reason. _Good_ , Hermione thought bitterly, she deserved her friend being mad at her because she had gone to the bathroom with Draco. Draco, that was very much hers.

No, not hers. Not anymore, Hermione reminded herself.

Her jealousy and poisoned thoughts towards the Gryffindor Chaser paid off not one minute later, because when Katie’s friend tried to grab whatever Katie was holding onto and Katie pulled it back, something happened. Not even a second later, her friend was screaming and Katie was rising up in the air, her arms wide open and her head thrown back, her face eerie and expressionless. Hermione cries at the sight and both Harry and Ron stumble on their feet.

They all run towards them and Hermione watches, horrified, as Katie screeches and her body is thrown from one side to the other in a terrifyingly way before she stops in a halt, floating in the air. Her friend tries to pull her ankle down, but Katie doesn’t budge, Harry goes to help and her and Ron goes as well, the four of them grabbing Katie’s ankle, trying to pull her down. When the girl falls, she thrashes and writhes on the snow, all while still screaming. 

Harry kneels beside whatever is on the snow and before he can touch it, Hagrid’s voice booms behind them telling them to stay away from it.

But Hermione had seen it and she recognized at once. It had been at Borgin & Burke’s last summer. 

Hermione knows Harry had seen it and recognized as well.

“I’ve seen this before!" He says lowly, so just the three of them can hear, "I saw it at Borgin & Burke’s ages ago and there was a label to it saying it was cursed! She must have touched it.” He says, staring at the thing, Hermione can almost see his brain working, “how did she got hold of this?” Harry asks Leanne.

“I don’t know!” Leanne sobbed, “we were arguing about it, she had gone to the bathroom and then when she returned, she had this with her. Said she needed to deliver it.” Leanne sobs uncontrollably.

Hermione’s body freeze at that. _No_. Please God, no.

“Who—" She starts, but her voice catches on her throat, “did she—Katie said who gave it to her?” Hermione asks. _Please don’t say it, please don’t say it _.__

__“No. She didn’t." She says and her eyes widen, "Oh God, I bet she was _Imperiused_ and I didn’t notice, oh my god, she _was_ looking a little funny, I--” She breaks down in sobs again, both hands coming to cover her face._ _

__Hermione decides then it's time to leave and she helps Leanne to her feet and back to the castle. The girl wails all the way back. Harry has an expression on his face that makes Hermione wary; she has an inkling of what he's thinking._ _

__And right on cue, Harry says: “It was Malfoy.” Hermione closes her eyes. “He knows about this necklace. He was at Borgin & Burkes four years ago when I saw it, and he was looking very eagerly at it. I bet it was this he was buying that day!” _ _

__“Harry—" Hermione starts, but before she gets to say anything else, McGonagall appears and usher them inside._ _

__Hermione’s heart never felt so heavy._ _

__

__**October 23rd, 1996. First Floor Corridor. Day 717** _ _

__Harry didn’t stop talking about Katie and Draco. The entire school already knew something had happening and they were all gossiping and trying to come up with some reason of why._ _

__Hermione tried not to stare at Draco too much, but she couldn’t stop thinking about it._ _

__About what she saw and what he said to her a couple of weeks ago. He was still avoiding her but now she would catch him staring back sometimes. She also noticed how he looked worse than ever. He was skinnier and carried a panicked look wherever he went, snapping at his friends and spending a lot of time on his own. Just yesterday, as she was crossing the Wooden Bridge, coming back from Hagrid’s, she saw him standing where they used to sit, just staring ahead. Hermione almost stopped when she reached him but decided against it when he tensed._ _

__But on the next day, it's him who talks to her. She's going to meet Ron and Harry at the Courtyard when someone grabs her arm and pulls her under the tapestry on the first floor._ _

__Hermione knows that pair of hands too well to even be scared._ _

__“So that’s how you do now? Pull random girls under tapestries?” She says bitterly, she can't help it._ _

__The thought of other girls with him makes her skin prickle and her blood crawl, she doesn't want any other girl to see him the way she has seen it. She wants to be the only one who knows him sweaty and panty, and she wants to be the only one who knows the sounds he made when he was close._ _

__Hermione knows it’s a dangerous thought._ _

__“I didn’t fuck her under a tapestry.” He breaths, and he is too close but at the same time, it isn’t enough. He isn’t touching her, his forehead is close, and she can feel the hairs of his fringe brushing her face, and his breaths hitting her face._ _

__“But you fucked her.” She spits._ _

__“I did.” He replies and she makes a move to leave. She knew, Merlin she knew. What she doesn't know is why she is in verge of crying. “And I fucked Tracy Davis as well.”_ _

__“Get the fuck out of my face.” She cries, shoving him hard away from her. She turns again to leave but he is faster, always faster than her, and holds her against the wall, “let me go Malfoy, let me fucking go.”_ _

__“No.”_ _

__“If you don’t let me go, I will scream and worse than losing any more points for your house is they knowing you were under a tapestry with a Mudblood.” He flinches when she says the word._ _

__“Don’t say that word.”_ _

__“You’ve been calling me that for weeks now.”_ _

__“You know you are more than that.”_ _

__“And you don’t?” She asks, hurt written all over on her face._ _

__If that was it, if it took only one summer to make him believe in that again… Suddenly, she can't take it anymore. She wants him gone, wants him away from her because the only thing she can remember now are his harsh and mean words, his sneers. Hermione can't stop thinking about it. Was all of that real? Wasn’t meaningless bickering like she believed?_ _

__They say people speak the truth when they are sarcastic, could she have fooled herself in believing there was more to them? Rethinking the last year in a flash, the looks he gave her, was she imagining all of that? Just because it was what she wanted to see?_ _

__“I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.” It's his answer and there he is again, quoting Pride and Prejudice._ _

__“What does this mean?” She asks in a whisper, not trusting her voice enough to speak louder._ _

__“I don’t know what I am doing.” He confesses with closed eyes and rests his forehead on hers. Automatically, she closes her eyes too._ _

__Hers and Harry’s conversation in the train on the way to the castle replays in her head, _‘he’s one of them now Hermione. It’s done’_ and she refused to believe then, refused when she saw him at Borgin and Burke’s at the beginning of August, refused when Harry pointed out between classes and was in straight up denial since Katie’s accident but now, God, she couldn’t keep this up. _ _

__Hermione knew she was too deep in this, in him, because instead of getting the fuck out of there, instead of listening to logic and accepting the facts, the truth, she put her arms around his neck and pulled him closer._ _

__“What was I to you?” She whispers when he doesn't flinch after her touch._ _

__“My lighthouse.”_ _

__“So then why did you fuck them?” She asks and he flinches now, turning his head just slightly, his eyelashes brush her face._ _

__“Because you make me lose myself for completely different reasons.”_ _

__“Why are you still here then?”_ _

__“Because I don’t know what to do,” It's his turn to whisper._ _

__“What do you want to do?” Hermione asks and she detangles her fingers from the nape of his neck and drags them down to his chest and then up again to his cheeks, holding his face in her hands._ _

__He sighs, “I want to kiss you.”_ _

__“Then kiss me.” She replies, and the words haven't even finished leaving her mouth when his is on hers._ _

__He kisses her with an edge of desperation, pulling her hips against his, so close, so close, he gasps when their tongues clash and Hermione tastes tears, she isn’t sure if it’s hers or his. The kiss is angry, he is kissing her and all she can feel is frustration coming from him, from the noises he is making and the battle he seems to be fighting with his body, as he keeps pulling her close and pushing her away._ _

__He jerks away from her then, takes two, three steps back, his back rests at the other wall of the alcove, he stares at her for what seems like centuries before shaking his head, scowling and wiping his mouth at the sleeve of his robes._ _

__Draco leaves the alcove without glancing at her._ _

__Hermione hugs her chest and falls to her knees, breaking down for the first time since the beginning of the school year. She doesn’t even care Draco might have heard._ _

__

__**October 31st, 1996. Sixth Floor Corridor. Day 725** _ _

__It's Halloween when she finds him again._ _

__She is doing rounds, later than usual, as Halloween was known to have students out of their beds doing tricks around the castle. She patrols the corridors by herself, since Draco had stepped down from his responsibilities as a Prefect and the Head Boy and Head Girl didn’t have anyone to pair up with her. She doesn’t mind at all, in fact, she even enjoys the two hours of silence._ _

__Hermione almost jumps out of her skin when she finds him sitting by one of the huge windows at the sixth floor. Draco never looked so afraid or alone as he looks now: his body curled, trying to take as little space as possible, his head pressed against the stone. Draco looks at her and it's the lack of emotions that makes her walk towards him._ _

__She sits in front of him, but not close enough to touch even if she tried to reach him._ _

__The only light is coming from the moon outside the window. Hermione has to catch her breath while looking at him. He looks beautiful, the moonlight reflects on his pointed face, his grey eyes are clear as the moon above them—he looks ethereal, even with the tension in the corner of his mouth, something that she hasn’t seen in him before. After a second look, she realizes it isn’t the moonlight making his eyes clearer, but the contrast with the darker circles under his eyes, the sharpness in his cheekbones. Draco has tired lines across his forehead that Hermione has to ground herself to not reach and smooth it with kisses._ _

__It isn’t these lines that startles her, but the realization that to one who isn't as familiar with his face as her, wouldn’t notice. His tiredness is subtle, but Hermione had spent hours with her sole attention focused on his face to know every single trace. This look on Draco is a new one, another one on her list of looks he has when no one is looking or when he doesn’t care if someone sees. When he doesn't care if she sees. Hermione feels a wave of sadness flow through her when she realizes how stressed and tired Draco looks now._ _

__They don’t speak, Draco doesn’t look at her after acknowledging her presence, but Hermione doesn’t mind. She just wants to be here, close to him, soaking on his beauty and in the safe way she feels when he's near._ _

__Her body is stiff from seating for so long on the stone, not to mention a bit frozen, but this is the most peace she got since she arrived at Hogwarts this term, so she stays, watching over the window, the Giant Squid tentacles appear over the black water, as if it knows someone is watching. The sun is almost appearing behind the mountains around the castle when Draco turns to her._ _

__“ _‘He who fights with monsters might take care, lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long enough into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you’”__ _

__It takes her a while to reply, not having expected Draco to say anything, much less a quote from Beyond Good and Evil._ _

__“Maybe,” Hermione mutters so eloquently, her voice barely louder than a whisper, “if you look the quote on its own, it can mean that the more you want to understand the thing you are fighting against, the more you will become it. Be your monster a person, a feeling or an idea. I believe we tend to become what you fear, that’s why we create weapons and go to wars, why we attack others. We can’t understand something if we don’t relate to them, that’s why the abyss will gaze back at us, because then it will find a place inside of us to take hold. And that’s why we fear it so much, our monsters, because they reflect what we are.”_ _

__Draco remains silent; and Hermione goes on, “but the abyss is the deepest-seated fear and terrors within us,” she stops thumbing the hole on the hem of her sweater, a hole it was him who put it there, months ago, when Draco tried to take it off her and the wool caught on her bracelet and it pulled. Hermione smiles at the memory and looks up at him, just to find him already looking at her, she thinks he is thinking about the memory too, “so if we fight these monsters, we have to deal with an inside representation of them, and the abyss will look into us and cause us to rely on only what we have inside, our intuitions, our instincts. So, it depends really. If we are a crappy person inside, then the abyss will turn us into a monster, but if we are Ubermensch, the abyss will set us free, because we will be acting only by our intuition, free of defined concepts about what are monsters.”_ _

__He’s looking at her curiously now, but he remains silent, so she continues, “it’s what he criticizes in the book, how we accept as truth what we’ve inherited and how much of our thoughts are manipulated and predefined. I like to see the monsters as the tentative of figuring out who defined concepts of good, bad, evil and right. To battle those who doctrines us to serve a purpose that is not our own.”_ _

__“And what’s the abyss then?” Draco asks, there’s a condescending smile on his face that Hermione hates and her heart breaks, because she can read him like her favorite book, so she already knows there’s a bomb about to go off in the next few pages._ _

__“Relativism. Once we’ve battled these monsters, once we are stripped away from their doctrines and manipulation, what do we have left to base our thoughts and actions? What’s left that is really ours? That’s true? The abyss is the inability to find our morality, what we truly are and be stuck in subjectivity. That everything can be right, and everything can be wrong, that an entire life of beliefs has proved you wrong.”_ _

__He’s sneering at her now, his hands balled in fists by his sides, she can see the clench on his jaw and the window fogging with his heavy breathing. She pissed him off, she can see that, but she doesn’t understand why what she said could’ve pissed him off this much._ _

__“You think you are so smart, don’t you?” Draco snarls, looking down at her like she’s something ugly, “that you have the answers to everything and you are so much better than the rest of us, because oh yeah, Hermione Granger has read the book.” Draco says, malice dripping from his words and she flinches at the way her name sounds on his voice. Like it’s poison to him._ _

__“I—"_ _

__“You don’t know shit Granger!” Draco explodes, “You are stupid and dumb to think otherwise, to think you understand! To talk about monsters as if they aren’t real, as if they aren’t out there killing people right now! You think the only monsters there is are the concepts embed in our very own being as if there isn’t something real and touchable and that breaths down your neck whispering more than words about what’s sodding good or bad!” Draco’s yelling, his veins on his neck are visible and it’s too damn early in the morning for them to be shouting. Their office—Slughorn’s office now, is just down the corridor._ _

__“That’s exactly what I meant!” Hermione yells back, despite knowing better, “if you break free from the concepts, then you don’t fear what men has to say to you or about you because you know better!”_ _

__“How’s that even possible?” Draco asks, that terrible condescending laugh along with his words._ _

__“Once you stop believing you are what people call you.” She replies, eyes hard, “once you realize you are better than what close minded idiots have to say about you and you understand that the problem is their fear of you and not your lack of worth!”_ _

__Draco’s face changes comically, and Hermione would laugh if she wasn’t seeing red. He understands her words and he goes from angry to surprised and then to livid._ _

__“Shut up!” Draco explodes, he’s not sitting anymore, and Hermione realizes belatedly that she isn’t either, they are both standing, close enough to touch and they are both breathing hard, Draco’s hand flexing open beside him and she wonders if he’s trying to contain himself from advancing on her. “You always make everything about this! This has nothing to do with it!”_ _

__“It’s everything! Because I didn’t know better then, I didn’t know you were wrong and I believed I was what you thought of me, because you were important to the wizarding world, because you had the name I read in many books before even arriving here and I believed you were right, because you belonged here and I didn’t. But then I understood, and I saw you were wrong and that I was also wrong.”_ _

__“But you didn’t fear me then, because you already knew better! Despite of what you are saying, you knew! You didn’t care about what I thought; you never relented to my words! You are comparing a child not knowing anything else with a monster! You are comparing my bullying towards you with genocide!”_ _

__Hermione is taken aback. She realizes now what this is about. Draco’s terrified, he’s terrified, and his monster is Voldemort._ _

__“Of course not Draco! What I am saying is that once you know better, you realize you don’t have to fear him, because it’s not who you are! He’s not who you are, he isn’t supposed to be your monster!”_ _

__“How? How can he not be everyone’s monster?” Draco sneers, his eyes are angry, and Hermione isn’t sure if all this anger is towards her._ _

__“I don’t fear him, I don’t fear Voldemort.”_ _

__“Then you are more stupid than I thought.” Draco spits and she doesn’t bother flinching._ _

__“He’s not my monster, because he doesn’t reflect on who I am. I am despite of him. No. I don’t fear him, because I fear you,” she says and Draco’s eyes are wide, his grey have specs of blue with how clear they are now, “for I’m so scared of losing you and I don’t know what I can do about it, I don’t want to know who I am without you.”_ _

__He blinks, once, twice and she can’t understand the emotion written on his face, can’t read it. Hermione knows she shouldn’t have said it, knows she should’ve kept quiet, because she knows, Merlin she knows he doesn’t want any of it and that she is just a fuck, a meaningless fuck in a growing line of nameless, nameless fucks if the rumors circling about him are true._ _

__“Sorry to disappoint you love,” Draco says and there’s nothing sorry about his voice or his cold smile, “but you are about to find out.” He finishes with a calculated coldness that breaks something inside her. Because when he looks at her for the last time, she can hardly recognize him._ _

__She realizes, then, that whatever happened last summer, had him bracing himself too well, distancing himself too far. The mask he wore at fourth year when they started talking evolved in a full steel armor and isn’t only wrapped around him but around his beating heart as well._ _

__Hermione can almost feel it, the wall between them, separating them, a wall he had started building last March and perfected during the summer with the sole intention of destroying them. Or saving him, Hermione thinks. Maybe save them both. Because as much as she’s his redemption, he is her monster, she’s chaos to his thoughts and he’s poison to her heart._ _

__But if this is saving, she thinks as she watches him turn gracefully into a blur of black robes, then she wants none of it, she wants them breaking and burning because Merlin, that would’ve been sweeter than the hole he left in her heart._ _

__She thinks it’s fitting, that all these talks about monsters and fears ended up happening on Halloween._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okaaaay, I'm sorry? well I warned in last chapter that things were taking a turn. a huge turn for the worst. But anyway, I hope you enjoyed anyway and leave comments. I really love reading your thoughts and ideas for the fic!
> 
> see you again next Friday.


	29. Twenty Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooo, I'm back! I'm late I know, I'm sorry! I had family visiting and couldn't escape enough to post it.   
> This chapter is a heavy one, there's some strong stuff going on in the end that it might be triggering for some. you are warned.

**November 7th, 1996. Library. Day 732**

“Granger” Hermione hears Theo’s voice and ignores him.

Theo had ignored her until now, avoiding her gaze and not answering when she talked to him. 

Unperturbed by her lack of answer, Theo sits down on the table in front of her and opens his bag, pulling his books out and opening a new piece of parchment.

“Leave.” Hermione says in gritted teeth. She is livid. Not to mention volatile.

Since Halloween, things have started going downhill: she has been snappish at Harry and Ron, Ginny has kept asking questions and Draco hasn't wasted an opportunity to call her names.

So she is less than tempted to deal with Theo right now. 

Who is he to sit with her as if nothing had happened? As if he hadn’t ignored her from the moment they set eyes at each other on the train? As if he, along with Blaise, Daphne and Pansy hadn’t acted like they hadn’t become friends before summer, like she was just another Mudblood?

“I want to talk to you,” Theo says and Hermione scoffs.

“Funny that.” Hermione replies, not raising her eyes from her book to look at him.

“I’m serious Granger.”

“Oh, and I was only joking when I tried to talk to you—to any of you—for weeks? Did you find it hilarious to ignore me and pretend I was invisible? Go away Theo.”

“I’m sorry,” Theo says, sighing, “I shouldn’t have acted like that, I was wrong.”

“Yes, you were.”

“Granger, I—“

“Please Theo, leave me alone.”

“You don’t understand!” Theo says nervously, “You don’t have a clue!”

“Oh, you are wrong Theo. Because I have plenty of clue! I’m not stupid you know. I bet it was all nice and fun befriending the school muggleborn, really educative, while Draco was having experience because he’s supposed to be pure for his wife but obviously Mudblood doesn’t count, so really what was the problem?” Hermione spats angrily, her eyes red and the tears running down her cheeks, unwanted. 

“Shut up! You are full of shit! I know you Gryffindors seem to believe the world works around you, but leave that to Saviour Potter because this is not about you Granger.” Theo spats back, his eyes dark and his features mean. She fears him in that moment, because suddenly he reminds her so much of his father, the man she fought with at the Department of Mysteries, the man who ran after her laughing as if her fear was merely a joke.

“Good! And enlighten me then! Talk to me!”

“Do you want to know? Fine! I will tell you! I will tell you how this summer while you were having Order meetings, our parents were in Azkaban, I will tell you I had to move in to Draco’s house because I don’t have anyone left and the person in the room next to mine is Lord bloody Voldemort! I will tell you how my father’s last words to me were to make the Dark Lord proud, to honor the life I was given because I was only born to serve him!” 

Theo is seething, each word is pronounced with more anger and he is almost terrifying now. His eyes, that once were always concealing what he felt, and his face, that was always a mask, now shows every bit of emotion he is feeling: anger, hatred, fear, desolation, hopelessness. 

Hermione looks at Theo but only sees a ghost of what he used to be, pale and shallow and she's terrified, because she always believed that evil was made, not born, but looking at him now, she can’t understand what could have happened to him that the evil glint in his eyes and the scowl on his lips - so uncharacteristic of him but at the same time, looking so comfortable on his features - had possessed him in such a short amount of time. 

She replays his words on her head, the power of the words he had said. _Voldemort_ is living at Malfoy Manor, Draco and Theo are sharing a roof with that monster.

“I’m sorry,” Hermione says, because she can’t think of nothing else. “I know the war is around the corner but—“ she stops embarrassedly, remembering all the laughter and Quidditch games they played during the summer at The Burrow, “even with all these attacks and disappearances, the war still seem a bit far from me,”

“I shouldn’t have snapped at you like this, I’m sorry. You should see our Common Room, people snapping at each other right and left, fights breaking up all the time…”

“Have you met him? I mean, Voldemort?” Hermione asks curiously.

“Once. During the winter break,” Theo confesses and Hermione's eyes widen. He hadn't mentioned that last year. “He wanted to convoke a meeting, my father offered our house and then introduced us, showing me as if I was a mission well executed. But his Lord wasn’t impressed, said I was weak, said I didn’t have what it takes to be a Death Eater, I was too scared and I loved too much.”

“Theo—“ Hermione starts.

His eyes are far now, Hermione doesn't think he is seeing her. “You can imagine my father’s reaction. He wanted to kill me right there, but he didn’t, because his Lord said it would be a waste." Theo says emotionlessly, as if he isn't talking about his life being on a plate. "The only reason he had me, was because his Lord asked, my father was getting old and the Nott family was going to die with him, the Dark Lord said it would be a waste of good, ancient, pure blood family, so my father found himself a good pureblood lady, way too young for him and had me. But just a year later, the Dark Lord was gone and my father was stuck with a woman he didn’t love and a son he didn’t want.”

Hermione feels tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Suddenly everything she had learned about Theo makes sense. His quiet demeanor, his preference for not being seen and not getting involved. Or the way he flinches when one of the boys call him by his last name and the way he was always reserved, closed off around her, never letting his guard down.

“He killed your mother didn’t he?” Hermione asks, but she knows it isn’t a question.

“My father literally picked a pureblood girl he found attractive and forced her to marry him. The only reason she stayed was because she was scared of what he’d do to me if she left. She knew she could never get away with me. As the years passed, she became rebellious, she hated the way he treated us. One day he went after me and she raised her wand at him, next minute, she was dead. I was eight.”

Hermione jumps at him and hugs him tightly. Theo only hesitates for a few seconds before he closes his arms around her. “I’m so sorry Theo.”

“It’s okay. Just promise me something?” Theo asks and she nods, her face still on his neck, “remember us as the people you met last year." He says and he pushes her back a little, just so he can see her eyes. "You need to understand that some of us don’t have choices and that some of us are too scared or too weak, or live with the evil under our roofs.”

She nods furiously, her tears damping his uniform. God, what even is this world? Hermione grips him tighter, not even caring she isn’t this close too him to begin with, she thinks Theo understands, that she’s not only hugging him right now, she’s hugging all of them. Blaise, who last year already said words around these lines; Draco, who just last week she caught terrified.

“Is that why everyone is ignoring me?” Hermione asks after pulling away from him.

Theo only looks sadly at her, and Hermione knows she’s not getting her answer. She tries something else, “Draco he—Theo, is he okay?”

“I think you know the answer for that.”

“He—I mean, we—is over, right? Whatever we had.“

“I’m not the person you need to be asking that.”

**November 15th, 1996. Slughorn’s Office. Day 740**

Hermione’s tired, her eyes can’t barely remain open as the conversation around the table goes stiffly. She can’t even pretend to pay attention to whatever Cormac Mcllaggen is saying to impress Slughorn. Ginny is beside her and she’s seething, Hermione at least can relate to that. Blaise had made a particular nasty comment about redheads and Hermione knows Blaise pretty well now to know it was personal. She’s mad at Blaise for completely different reasons as well.

“Hermione dear, why Harry couldn’t join us today?” Slughorn asks her, the same question he has asked every week.

“He’s still on detention sir.” Hermione replies, only half paying attention, the other half is eying Mcllaggen, who is skirting his hands closer to her leg. The grip on the fork she’s holding tightens.

Every week she tries to sit as far away as possible from him, but it’s becoming a bit tricky, Slughorn likes to place them in a rank, whoever is closer to him is his most precious jewel. Hermione keeps getting herself put or beside Cormac or across from him. She can’t decide which one is worse. The seats on each side of Slughorn are reserved, one for Harry, who never comes and the other for Blaise, who’s the second on the list of Slughorn’s favourite. Today’s meeting has Melinda beside Harry’s empty sit and then the Carrow’s twins. On Blaise’s other side there’s Mcllaggen and then Hermione, Ginny is between Hermione and Hestia. It’s a round table, making almost impossible to ignore anyone, which is what Ginny is fiercely trying to do. Hermione has no idea what happened. For all she knows everything was well with hers and Dean’s relationship and Blaise doesn’t stray too far from the Slytherin’s anymore to be making Ginny this uncomfortable.

But then again, she hasn’t exactly talked to Blaise in months.

Hermione looks away, having become chocked up. She misses Blaise, the boy had become a constant last year, always around, and always joking and making exaggerated eye gestures. She misses them all in fact, even Pansy, no matter how her heart aches when she remembers that the raven-haired girl slept with Draco.   
She is staring at the black leather sofa on the corner of the office, the same sofa she and Draco spent countless hours last year, studying, laughing, talking and kissing. There’s a torn slot in the cushion, she knows because her toes fit perfectly inside it and many times Draco scrunched up his nose when he noticed this quirk, always saying “you don’t know what’s inside of it, not to mention it’s filthy” she would only laugh and slid her foot inside and then remove it completely, pressing against his side making him squirm and swat at her, but then he’d remove her sock and put both feet on his lap. 

Hermione is smiling and so lost in memories that when she notices Mcllaggen's hand in her thigh, there’s a commotion. Blaise is jumping on his seat, knocking Mcllaggen out of his and there’s no hand on her anymore.

“Oh my, my, what happened?” Slughorn asks, his face smiling but is awkward because he has a face of someone who’s extremely annoyed by the interruption. 

Hermione can’t even remember who was talking.

“It was all my fault sir,” Blaise starts, avoiding looking at Hermione’s general direction, “I was so enthralled by your story-“ a cough coming from Ginny, “that I almost missed my mouth, foolish me, getting excited by your endeavours-“ Ginny snorts, it doesn’t take a genius to figure it was amused skepticism, “and I jumped, trying to keep my robes clean, you know, I shop at Twilfitt and Tatting’s and they have the most extraordinary wool, if you’d like I could recommend you, Mother is the most favourite there–“

“Of course, with the amount she spends on wedding gowns—“ Ginny snaps, fire in her eyes.

Well, that is new.

Hermione turns to Blaise, who has paled a little, shocked at Ginny, he clearly hadn’t expected her to voice her mind, but with maturity Hermione didn’t know Blaise for, he ignores her.

“I stumbled on Mcllaggen,” Blaise finishes, “I’m awfully sorry.” He says, turning to the Gryffindor now, and Hermione sees Blaise’s eyes flash something evil as he looks at Mcllaggen, which doesn't match his words at all.

“Of course!” Slughorn exclaimed, completely unaware of the exchanges between the two boys and the fire on Ginny’s eyes as she tried to explode Blaise’s pretty head with her eyes. “I’d be delighted to get a recommendation! They have my favourite silk handkerchief, have I told you all about the most extraordinary event I got myself up to with a handkerchief?” Slughorn asked and before anyone could reply, he went on a story about trying to pick some ingredients from a vampire’s plantation. Hermione spaced out in seconds.

“Are you okay Ginny?” Hermione whispers to the girl, Ginny snorts.

“Why don’t you ask your friend?” Ginny ask back, hurt all over her features. 

Hermione cocks an eyebrow, don't understanding.

“I don’t—“ Hermione starts, but Ginny ignores Hermione and turns to Hestia, asking the girl something.

Hermione looks then at Blaise, who for the first time since the train ride, is looking at her. He looks calm, passive. Hermione misses his smirk more than anything.

 

She understands half of it fifteen minutes later. Slughorn had asked her to stay a little longer, discuss Harry’s continuous absence and by the time she leaves, she rounds the corner and hear muffled voices.

“You said you weren’t with her!” Ginny is hissing, trying and failing to keep her voice low.

“That’s because I’m not!”

“I saw the way you were looking at her! And Mcllaggen! Like he was stealing all your toys!”

“You are out of it!” Blaise exclaime, “and why do you care anyways, aren’t you with Dean Thomas?”

“I’m out of it? You gave her a Christmas present! She’s my best friend! You don’t go kissing the same boys as your best friend! And of course I’m with Dean, he’s amazing, but you lied to me!”

“I didn’t! And yeah, I gave her a Christmas present, but so did—I mean, she’s my friend! Of course, I gave her a present! And I didn’t kiss her! I was angry with Mcllaggen yeah, but not because of the reasons you are thinking! He is a brute.”

“You are a brute!” Ginny yells and Hermione winces.

Hermione had no idea there was more to Ginny and Blaise then she knew.

“I’m no brute! You are the one that’s always dating when you come for me and I’m the brute for leaving? Well, I’m sorry if I’m not big fan of second hand things like your fami-”

Hermione winces again, the sound of the slap echoes in the empty corridor.

“You are awful! I already told you to stay away from me!”

“I'm no way near you! I don’t want anything to do with you! We kissed a handful of times but that’s it! Stop demanding things! Wanting to know who I am with when you have a boyfriend for fucks sake! And why do you keep dating if the entire castle knows is Saint Potter who you want?”

“Shut up! You know nothing! Argh, I hate you!” Ginny yells, Hermione can hear the way Ginny’s voice trembles. “What I feel about Harry has nothing to do with you! And you and Hermione! You two going at it in secret and—“

“It’s not me!" Blaise snaps, "Salazar balls how dense can you be? I. Am. Not. Kissing. Granger.” 

Hermione closes her eyes, Merlin, what a mess. All these weeks with Ginny being snappish and wary with Hermione had to do with she Ginny thinking Hermione had been dating Blaise. So much for no emotions involved as Ginny had said.

“Then why did you jump on Mcllaggen?”

“Because he was touching her inappropriately and without her consent! He’s been looking at her like a property since the first meeting! She’s a girl, she’s my friend and she deserves so much better!” Blaise explains and Hermione smiles on the shadows, bless Blaise.

“Like you?”

“Would you stop?” Blaise asks exasperatedly.

“Who is it then?” Ginny asks and Hermione’s eyes snaps open.

“Why don’t you go ask her?”

“She doesn’t tell me shit!”

“Well, I’m going then.” Blaise replies and Hermione can hear receding footsteps.

“You know! You know there’s a boy!”

“It can be a girl, what do you know right?” Blaise says, amusement on his voice, Hermione tries not to snort at Blaise and remains silent. 

Ginny fumes and storms out of the corridor.

**November 17th, 1996. Potions Classroom. Day 742**

Potions has become Hermione least favorite period. The class is small and Harry is besting her every single time now that his has that stupid book.

Draco is there. Like he always is. Hermione didn’t know how much she loved last year timetable since this year, with all the classes mixed with the four houses together. Hermione wished Draco were less smart than he was so she could be alone for more than a single period.

But no, he had to pass every single one of his O.W.L.S, so now she has every class with him, minus Ancient Runes.

He is in the table on the corner with Blaise, Theo and Pansy, the only ones who passed or chose to keep up with Potions. Hermione still wonders what Snape thought of how little of his favorite students went to N.E.W.T.S level.

“We are brewing a different potion today!” Slughorn says happily, “as much as some of you would like to keep it for themselves, I believe it will be better if you just hand it over after you are finished.” Slughorn chuckles to himself, and with a wave of the wand, the words AMORTENTIA appears in the board.

The color drains from Hermione’s face.

She ventures a glance to Draco, who is pointedly looking straight to a bookshelf, but Hermione can see him gulping and clenching his jaw. 

Slughorn tells them to discard their books, as they won’t find the instructions in there and starts to write the steps on the board.

“Now, anyone would tell me why Amortentia is considered an incredibly dangerous potion and why besides being known as a love potion, isn’t in fact one?” The potions master asks and Hermione raises her hand.

“Powerful infatuations can be induced by the skillful potioneer, but never yet has anyone managed to create the truly unbreakable, eternal, unconditional attachment that alone can be called Love.” She quotes the words from the book she had read and Slughorn chuckles.

“Are you sure you aren’t relatives with Hector Dagworth-Granger?” Slughorn asks.

“I’m completely sure sir. I’m a muggleborn.” Hermione replies proudly and looks pointedly at the Slytherin table with a look she is sure she learned from Draco.

Slughorn seems to miss it as he nods to no one in particular and then tells them to begin brewing. For a while, the only sounds in the classroom are of chopping ingredients and stirring. But after half an hour, small gasps can be heard across the classroom as the first scents can be smelled from every cauldron. 

Hermione blushes furiously when she can suddenly smell expensive cologne, fresh parchment, green apples and leather in the entire classroom. Merlin, why? 

She glances at Draco the exact same time the boy closes his eyes and rests his fisted hands on each side of the cauldron. He looks pained.

“What do you smell in yours?” Theo asks in a whisper but Hermione hears all the same.

“What do you think?” Draco hisses, his eyes still closed, his eyebrows in a frown and his jaw set.

Theo looks up at her and Hermione quickly looks away, her heart almost beating out of her chest.

_'Is Draco okay?'_ she had asked, for what Theo had said _'I think you know the answer for that'_ and then, _'are we over?'_ and Theo’s sad _'I’m not the one you should be asking this'_

What if—Merlin, what if he feels the same? Even if just slightly? She needs to know. She needs to know what Draco feels because she can’t do this anymore. Can’t keep playing every single possibility in her head for why he left so easily, turned away from her so flippantly.

**November 18th, 1996. Sixth Floor’ Hidden Alcove. Day 743**

She didn’t have rounds today, but she left the Tower all the same, giving Harry and Ron the excuse of patrolling. Ron eyed her suspiciously but after Hermione explaining she had changed her rounds with the fifth year girl because she wasn’t feeling well, he believed her.

In truth, Hermione said the girl was on her period and Ron became too grossed out to care.

Her plan is to search for him on the place she had found him last week, by the sixth floor large stone windowsill. But she never makes it to that corridor.

A pair of hands pulls her under a tapestry, the same with the hidden alcove from last year where Draco first saw her blood. Hermione is seconds away from screaming when the same hands cover her mouth and a pair of grey eyes come in her view.

Her eyes widens and her heart, instead of stopping beating like crazy, beats even faster with how close they are.

Draco removes his hands from her mouth and cups her cheeks, he’s looking for something, searching and she keeps still, not sure what he’s looking for but praying that he finds and that he stays. She needs him to say it because now Hermione is rudderless and aimless and it isn’t Hermione Granger at all, not even a bit. And she won’t have it. She needs her control, her order, she needs answers and things that makes sense and Draco doesn’t, not even one bit, he looks at her like he wants to strangle her, but touches her like she’s precious and he doesn’t make sense, she can’t read him and it makes her so goddamned lost.

“I need—“ Draco starts and Hermione realizes he’s trembling, the hands cupping her cheeks are shaking and she removes them from her face, hold them in her hands in the middle of their chests and wraps both hands on his shoulders, pulling him to her, hugging him tight and holding him as close as she can as he breaks down in sobs.

“Shh, it’s okay” Hermione whispers, trying to keep it together to help him, she can’t break down as well, not when her boy is a mess, “I’m here, you’re okay Draco, I’m here. You are okay, you are safe, and I’m with you.”

Hermione kisses his hair, tangles her fingers in the nape of his neck and keeps holding him.

“You will leave,” Draco whispers and Hermione almost doesn’t catch his words, but she does even with all the sobs and how muffled it is, coming from his lips pressed on her skin.

“I won’t,” she promises and Hermione has an awful feeling about all of this, “I will be by your side, any time you need me.” Draco cries harder, muffles a scream on her skin and he’s heavy, completely sagging on her, but she keeps a good grip on him, don’t letting him go.

“Hermione—"

“I’m here. Draco, you will be okay, I know your heart, and you will be okay.” She whispers on his ear and without letting go of him, pulls them both to the cold stoned floor.

Hermione pulls him to her chest, he’s almost on her lap, his face pressed against her collarbones and his hand balled on her sweater, he has his knees up and against his chest, and Hermione tries to cradle all of him, with an arm around his shoulders and the other resting on his knees.

“I don’t—" he tries, but he is shaking badly and Hermione is terrified, because she has never seen him like this, not even close. This is a side of Draco that she doesn’t know, but Hermione is a Gryffindor and she won’t come down from a challenge. 

“Shh,” she sooths him, “you will be alright Draco, I know you will.” Her voice is soft and she has a hand running up and down his hair, scratching behind his ear, “you were never created to live depressed or defeated,” she quotes, “you shouldn’t feel guilty or condemned, because you are you, you weren’t created to be ashamed or unworthy. You are Draco, you were created to be victorious.” She finishes, changing bits so it can fit him better, and she don’t say his last name, because she thinks there’s where all his problems lie.

It takes him a few more minutes to calm down, to stop his sobbing and shaking, but eventually he is quiet and all Hermione can think is: what a feeling to be right here where she is, beside him, holding him in her arms, keeping him safe. 

But if she knows anything, is how Draco is volatile and how he might jump away from her the second he gets a grip on himself and shove all his problems away, so she remains silent, her fingers still running trough his arm and her arm still holding him securely.

He lifts his head and her breath gets caught on her throat, he looks so broken, so raw that Hermione wants to fight the world and whoever put this look on his face. He always had this light, this easy, happy grin on his face, that is always more a smirk than a smile but fits him so perfectly and now, everything that she loves most about him is gone, he’s just a blank canvas.

“It’s a fitting punishment for a monster.” Draco says after a while and Hermione wants to cry, because no, he’s not a monster. “To want something so much- to hold it in your arms- and know beyond a doubt you will never deserve it.”

She remembers their last conversation perfectly, how she yelled, _‘I don’t fear him, because I fear you’_ and Merlin this wasn’t what she meant, no, she’s terrified of fighting him because she doesn’t want to know what she is without him, what she will have left when he’s gone and God, Hermione knows he will leave, she knows is only a matter of time now, she understands it now. He’s been saying goodbye all these weeks.

“You are no monster,” she says and he scoffs, “but if you are…” she takes a long breath and prepares herself for the fallout, “it takes one to love one.”

And she knew, merlin she knew. All the times she wondered how it would be when she said it out loud, she knew it wouldn’t be like her girlish dreams, it would be like now: With him standing and shaking his head and looking down at her, terrified, wide eyes, taking stumbling steps away from her.

It breaks her heart and Hermione wonders how many more times he will break her heart this year or if it will ever stop breaking every time she looks at him. Because he’s so far away from her now, he’s still here but at the same time, Hermione knows he’s gone.

He said it so himself, _‘to want something so much’_ and she knows he didn’t mean it, not the way she wanted, he didn’t mean he loved her, no, he could never and she knows that, she knows with the same clarity as she knows every book she’s ever read. Draco Malfoy could never love her. But knowing that, didn’t mean she didn’t wish he could.

“You don’t know what you are saying.” Draco hisses and it's her turn to shake her head because no, she won't let him do this.

Not when she’s fought so hard against it and it took everything she had to accept that yes, Hermione Granger had fallen in love with Draco Malfoy and she lost so much of herself in acknowledging that, but she gained so much, so much more with it that she refuses to let him take that away from her.

“I know exactly what I’m saying. I love you and I have loved you for months now.” She says and she can see he’s shaking again, but she remains rooted to where she is. He wouldn’t want her anywhere near him now. Not when she sickened him with her feelings.

“I don’t want you to love me,” he says, voice firm, much firmer than anything he said to her tonight, “I don’t want it.” He repeats and there’s a fire on his eyes, an anger there and he’s mad at her for being so stupid, so foolish to fall in love.

“Ok,” she whispers, he’s kind of blurred to her, because her eyes are filled with tears that have yet to leave her eyes, “but it doesn’t change the fact that I love you.”

“Stop!” He snaps and he takes a step in her direction, “I don’t want to hear it. I can’t—I don’t want you.” he finishes and she inhales.

_I don’t want you_

_He doesn’t want her love_

And he doesn’t want her.

“Draco—“

“No. Stop. I don’t want you. I don’t want anything from you. You need to leave.”

Draco has his eyes closed now, so he doesn’t see her walking up to him, but he can feel her closer because he tenses. 

“I love you,” she says and something on him snaps, his eyes flash open and he shoves her away, she knocks against the wall and it hurts like hell. He’s on top of her, holding her against the wall and she can’t breathe because suddenly there’s a hand on her throat.

Hermione thinks his hands were created to destroy, and she thinks it's meant to scare her, the way he grabs her neck so hard that she sees stars, stars that aren’t supposed to be in his eyes. Eye that are vicious and he’s so angry, with her, with the world. But she also sees the way his eyes go wild seconds after he loses control and the way they clear, the way the already white complex on his face becomes even whiter. Draco cradles her close and sobs on the curve of her neck, even before she can react to the assault. She knows it isn't supposed to be like this, but he’s touching her tenderly now, soaking her neck with his tears and kissing them away and she pushes closer to him, instead of away. She knows, her mother warned her about this, about how love can make someone do stupid things and endure more pain that it's acceptable. And she also knows this: if hell exists she'll leave this whole thing in ruins to follow him there.

Draco kisses her mouth, rough, hard and she can taste his tears and it’s angry, he’s so angry he hasn’t stopped shaking yet, but she kisses him back, because Hermione thinks the air the earth supplies her isn’t enough and she needs his.

He bits her lower lip and she moans, too lost on his hands travelling around her body, too drunk on the feeling of him against her again, after months of abstinence. She starts unbuttoning his shirt when he starts kissing her neck, the neck that has his fingertips all around it.

Hermione runs her fingers on his abs greedily, _mine, mine,_ his chest, his bellybutton, his hardened nipples, it’s all hers and she will murder whoever tries to take him from her. She barely registers the dangerous and dark thought and her hands shakes when it hits her so she buries them on his hair and pulls him to another bruising kiss. His hands find their way under her sweater and she arches when his thumb brushes her nipple under her bra and twists it on his fingers. She tries to slide his shirt off him but he shakes his head and turn her around, she gaps with the movement. Draco breathes on her neck and they moan again together when he presses his front to her back. This position is new to them and has her legs shaking in anticipation when his hands leave her breasts to unbutton her pants.

Their pants hit the floor at the same time and Hermione thinks she won’t ever feel this good again. His hands are on her thighs, squeezing them. Draco's moaning on her neck from behind and he’s pressed against her and she can feel him, she can feel him everywhere, but she wants more. 

Hermione reaches blindly behind her for him and they both moan when she feels him hot and heavy on her hand, his tip pressing on her lower back and she can feel him shaking when she thumbs the head and smears pre-come around it.

Draco swats her hand away and presses it against the wall; Hermione doesn’t think to remove it. His left hand is holding her hip and the right is on her hair, pulling her head to the side so he can kiss her neck and behind her ear. The hand on her hip is rising, hot against her waist, the side of her breasts, cupping them, sliding down to her chest, her belly and her middle. Hermione gaps loudly when his entire hand grab her there possessively. She can feel his smirk on her neck when he realizes how wet she is for him.

His index and middle finger plays with her entrance and she writhes on his arms, pressing her bum against him, she wants him so much, needs him so much. Draco chuckles and everything goes black for a second because she loves this sound and his fingers are entering her while his thumb in pressing on her clit.

“Please,” she begs and he pulls her closer to him still, all of her back is pressed against his front, she can feel him leaking on her lower back, his pre-come dripping down between her cheeks and meeting her own wetness.

“I’m going to fuck you now.” He growls and she nods, having to bite down on her lip to refrain for saying thank you because she’s so out of it, tingling in pleasure everywhere and her legs are shaking from having to stay upright when he’s working miracles inside her.

He pushes himself in and Hermione drops her head heavily on his shoulder, _God_ , she missed this. She missed all of him, but she missed this so much. How they fit perfectly inside her, how her entire body shifts to adjust itself to accommodate him inside of her.

Draco fucks her hard and her knuckles are white from how hard she’s gripping on the stone wall and one of Draco’s hand is on her left breast as the other is still stimulating her, playing with her clit and Hermione would be screaming if she weren’t so overwhelmed and her brain hadn’t short-circuited minutes ago.

Now the only thing she can do is rock back against him, in a silent plea of _please, harder,_ and moan and groan along with him.

He’s shaking and Hermione can feel the muscles on his thighs and she’s done this with him enough to know when he’s close. Draco is mumbling against her neck, and she smiles because this is familiar, his random words when his close, and she can make out some, like _God, mine_ and _so good. ___

__“Fuck,” he groans and then pulls out, Hermione whines from the loss but his fingers are back inside of her and she comes with a muffled scream. Draco is jerking off on her bum and he’s coming to, smearing come all over her back and bum._ _

__Hermione’s filthy. She has come one her legs, on her back and on her bum and she couldn’t care less. Right now she’s in ecstasy and satisfied and só happy that she has tears in her eyes._ _

__But with the same overwhelming strength her happiness came, it washes away when she turns around and sees him pulling away and stumbling, drunkenly away from her._ _

__Draco pulls his pants and wipes his hand on his shirt, and then wipes his mouth with his sleeve. Her eyes burn with tears and she almost draws blood with how hard she bites her lip to refrain from crying. Everything hurts._ _

__He looks at her, a sneer coming up on his face and scowls. Hermione swears she can hear shattering inside of her._ _

__“I felt pity,” Draco bites out and she feels slapped, “but I won’t give to you again so you better get over it.” he says crudely and Hermione has never felt so used, so exposed._ _

__She is still naked from waist down, still filthy with their sex and he is leaving, with a scowl on his face and a look of disgust as if he had just did a nasty bit of charity, while she is still rooted in place, feeling humiliated._ _

__Hermione hates him like never before._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think, this was awful for me to write, I hated it and for a while I thought of removing it but then I decided it's necessary for the development of the story and their relationship.


	30. Thirty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I'm sorry for the delay.   
> Secondly, this chapter is just a filler and with a glimpse of other's point of view.
> 
> I hope you liked it.

**November 20th, 1996. Viaduct Courtyard. Day 745**

Hermione hasn’t looked at the mirror since that night. She’s terrified of what she will see reflected on it. 

She’s a mess and probably looks like it, her hands shake when she remembers the look  
on his face and his words.

_I felt pity_

After, she scrubbed herself raw in the shower, trying to remove him from her skin, her legs, her back, because she had felt filthy, used. It didn’t matter how much she wanted him that night, how much she yearned for him inside her. 

_I felt pity_ , he had said. He had sex with her because he thought it was what she wanted, because she had said she loved him, and he felt pity for her.

Harry sits beside her and she flinches. Hermione has been flinching a lot since that night, every time someone looks at her, she thinks they know, know how humiliated she is, how he left her standing naked, filthy, in the middle of the castle with words of pity and looks of disgust. She thinks they can see her, the way she stood there for minutes, crying, legs shaking, come drying on her skin and neck bruised.

He gives a worried and caring look and Hermione wants to cry again, because she’s about to explode from everything she’s not saying.

“I’m sorry,” he says and Hermione wraps a hand around his and squeezes. She can’t talk right now; she’s terrified of what she might say. Harry only squeezes back. “I know how you feel about him.”

Hermione snaps her head at him and his expression is soft, caring and Hermione is confused, he knows how she feels? What?

“Ron. And Lavender. I’m sorry you have to see them,” Harry says and Hermione is relieved, so relieved that Harry doesn’t know because she’s sure his hand wouldn’t be on hers anymore if he knew.

Hermione is too much of a coward to tell him he’s wrong, she nods. Because there’s a him, just not the one Harry thinks, and she’s sorry too, because she had seen Draco with Pansy the other day, with his head on her lap.

“I’m sorry too” she says, “About Ginny.”

“Hermione—"

“You are my best friend,” she says and smiles sadly at him, “I’ve seen the way you look at her.”

“She’s Ron’s sister.”

“He wouldn’t mind, you are his best friend, he couldn’t wish for a better boyfriend.”

“But she’s with Dean.”

Hermione nods, she’s with Dean and she’s yelling at Blaise because of her, but she loves Harry. Hermione wishes she was more like Ginny, had her fire.

“Are you okay?” Harry asks after a while, they were both silent, just enjoying the company of each other and how easy it was to just sit there, side by side. Hermione watches the students passing them in the courtyard, their hands inside pockets and faces buried on their scarfs, trying to protect themselves from the cold. “You’ve been distant, you look so sad.”

Hermione sighs and looks down at their clasped hands, glad for the comfort Harry provides. She tries not to think of Draco, but every time she inhales, she feels him in the spaces between her rib cage, in the back of her throat and in the lines of her palms. That boy, that wrecked boy, got her heart wrapped around the broken fragments of his spine and his fist clutched around her collarbone, and Hermione doesn’t think she can ever recover from him.

“I feel alone.” Hermione confesses, “I know I shouldn’t because I have you, but—"

“I know. I feel alone too. Sirius—" Harry closes his eyes and Hermione scoots closer to him, trying to offer comfort, “he’s only been in my life for a few years, but I—it feels like I had him forever and now he’s gone and I haven’t said half of things I wanted to say.”

“He was your family harry, he knew. It didn’t matter, he knew.”

“But still, I wish I could’ve said. And I wish everyone I love didn’t leave.”

“You got me, and Ron, and Remus. I know it’s not the same, he was your godfather, your dad’s best friend but—you have me Harry.”

“But why do I feel like I’m losing you too?” Harry asks and his voice is so sad, so broken. 

Hermione can’t deal with broken boys any more.

“You won’t ever lose me. I’m going to be okay, and so are you. I won’t let you feel alone.”

“Thank you, Hermione.” Harry squeezes her hand again, “and I wish you could tell me what’s troubling you.” He whispers but it’s not accusing or bitter, it’s just honest. Just like everything about Harry: real, honest, good.

She just nods, and he stands, offer his hand to pull her up as well but she shakes her head, “I will stay for a little while.” Harry just nods and she watches him go inside the castle.

Hermione unwraps the red and gold scarf from her neck and she doesn’t care how cold she feels without it. She was feeling suffocated with it, the hand not holding Harry’s was shaking inside her pocket, itching to tug it away, to let her breathe.

She can still see gray eyes and strong hands around her neck when she closes her eyes.

Hermione looks up to the white sky, covered in snow clouds. She quirks her mouth up when a snowflake falls on one of her eyelashes. Hermione doesn’t think she has any strength left to dry her tears; she lets them freeze on her cheek in the cold November winds and welcomes the burn on her face.

 

**November 7th, 2003. St. Mungus. Day 5481**

Every day, Blaise enters her room around the end of his shift to remove the Pensieve from her bed and to watch her sleep. He likes watching her sleep, because she always has a serene expression on her face, differently from the troubled looks she has when she’s awake.

Blaise knows it’s because of whatever memory she decided to revisit. He was against the idea of a Pensieve in the beginning, but now he’s glad that he agreed to it, because it’s clear how revisiting moments of her and Draco from their school days gets her calm and if Blaise’s honest, it even helps healing her a little bit. It’s clear to them now, how weak that curse is against love and even without understanding the properties perfectly, the moments she spends under it, untangles pieces of the darkness inside of her.

He moves closer to the bed and it’s taken aback by the frown between her brows and the melancholy stretched around her features. Blaise takes a glance at the Pensieve and when see parts of the memory she was reviving, tenses his jaw. He remembers that day clearly.

It’s his turn to slip a thread of memory inside it.

 

**November 20th, 1996. Viaduct Courtyard. Day 745**

Blaise is a lot of things. But he isn't a stalker. No, he doesn't care that it's exactly what it looks like, but he knows things are getting ugly and he feels the need to check on her.

His Italian blood has been burning for weeks now and he even caught himself gesticulating wildly with his hands in an argument or two back in the dungeons with his friends, Merlin, his friends. He couldn’t believe what said friends were doing, what Draco and Pansy were doing. Blaise knew they were all snakes but Merlin, he didn’t think Draco had in him to be that low, and that Pansy would agree with such a despicable thing.

So now the two were a thing. A very much public thing that had the entire castle talking, a thing that made no sense at all and it made Blaise’s blood boil because he knows this thing between those two only exists to affect someone else.

Maybe Pansy had hated Granger guts for years, more so when she was told Granger and Draco were a thing, but Pansy wasn’t that much of a heartless bitch to actually be all over Draco whenever the Gryffindor was around. 

Thankfully Blaise hadn’t seen the new pair kiss yet, or else he’d puke all over them. But he has seen Pansy sitting on Draco’s lap and he has seen Draco with an arm thrown around her, his head on her lap, her fingers carding through his hair, always fucking whispering and giggling like they were in a goddamned movie. It was ridiculous and a little bit fake if you asked Blaise and Merlin; Blaise had plenty to say about that little show.

Of course,Theo is being his usually unhelpful self, pretending he wasn't seeing what Draco was doing, pretending there wasn’t a girl they were very much friends with wilting around the castle. Merlin, Theo even pretended his awful father wasn’t in Azkaban and that it was all nice and golden living at the Manor. Blaise wanted to strangle them all.

But for that, he needed to get close enough to actually talk to any of them. He was so pissed at Draco that Blaise couldn’t even stand near the kid and it actually helped that suddenly Draco had strung a new-found friendship with Vince and Greg that had been lost since fourth year. Since Hermione Granger. Now the trio is always together, planning, all the while Draco disappears. Blaise sees it all: his best friend wasting away, getting more pale and thinner. Merlin, he wishes he knew what the fuck was going on with him. But he's pissed and being near Draco makes his blood curdle so he stays away, stays with Theo, in long silences that sometimes feels the same as if they were screaming.

Now it's finally silent. He is outside on the cold and maybe he is cold-blooded after all, because the snow doesn't bother him, neither the sharp winds that cut his cheek. 

He may be cold-blooded but Hermione Granger sure as hell isn’t. But there she is, sitting alone by the eagle fountain in the middle of the courtyard, surrounded by snow. Potter had just left, and something twisted on Blaise’s inside when he saw the two of them, so goddamned sad, but nothing compared to his view now. Blaise sucks in freezing air that freezes his lungs and might as well have frozen his heart.

Granger is desperately removing her scarf with shaking hands, as if the red and golden thing is keeping her from breathing, if the intake of breath and the long sigh is any indication. Blaise grips harder on the stone pillar he is hiding when she looks up to the sky and the purple greenish marks on her neck become visible. 

His fingers shake, and he sees red, because those marks are finger shaped and Blaise has an idea of who put those there, who Hermione would let near enough to grab her neck. Blaise can see her crying and can see the smile she has on her face and it makes him sick. 

He almost stumbles back, the sight of Granger covered in snow, tears and purple marks forever engraved on his mind. There’s a wrath taking over him, not like the one he felt when that pig McLaggen had put his filthy hands on Granger like she was his property, but close to what he felt when Husband Number Three raised a hand to his mother. The day Number Three slapped her, pulled her by the hair and beat her like a silly thing. Blaise hadn’t the size, nor the strength or a wand to help, but even back then, when he was only ten, his wrath was enough to unleash his magic and he had made Husband Number Three blood boil, literally, and Blaise watched with fire eyes as the man started to sweat heavily, his body trying to cool down, but it wasn’t fast enough to keep up with the high temperature on his body. Blaise can remember clearly to this day how the man shook and seized before dying.

Blaise almost destroys the passage inside the common room and it only gets worse when the first thing he sees is Draco laying with his head on Pansy’s leg.

“YOU BASTARD!” Blaise howls, Draco is not the only one who jumps. 

The common room is not empty, it’s a Saturday afternoon and even with the vast majority in the warmer areas of the castle, like the library or the great hall, there are a dozen of students scattered around the ice-cold Slytherin dungeons. 

Draco is on his feet and gaping at him with wide eyes, Blaise lunges at him, pushes him with all his strength and Draco almost falls on his ass. Blaise sees movement around them, the younger students scattering away, to their dorms or out, the older ones are rooted in place watching the scene warily.

“How dare you?” He cries, shaking Draco’s shoulders violently, “you fucking piece of shit, how fucking dare you?” Blaise shoves Draco away again, hard, but Draco had been expecting it, so he doesn’t stumble.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Draco spits, jumps at Blaise and has both hands on Blaise’s collar and Blaise laughs crazily.

Pansy is crying somewhere around them, Theo is keeping Daphne out of harm’s way and both Vince and Greg have their wands pulled out.

“What?” He asks, wrath simmering on his tongue, “Can’t wrap your hands around my neck now?” He spits in a low voice, loud enough for just Draco to hear.

And Draco freezes, removes his hands from Blaise and stumbles two, three steps away, his hands shaking and his eyes wide.

“I—" he starts but Blaise doesn’t want to hear it.

He’s advancing on Draco like a panther advances on its prey, slowly, powerful and certain, and Draco tries to pretend he’s not cowering, but Blaise knows better and knows courage isn't one of Draco’s strength.

“I could see all of your filthy fingertips from a distance” he says, his voice barely louder than a whisper, “all around her neck.” He stops inches away from Draco, towering over him dangerously, “touch her again, and I swear, I will have your hands.”

“Oh yeah?” Draco asks back, defiantly and Blaise growls, sizing his collar and pressing him to the wall.

Draco’s eyes narrow in challenge, daring Blaise to hit him and Merlin, Blaise wants to, but he promised his mother years ago that he’d control his anger and that nothing like that would ever happen again.

“I don’t care about your little show with your new girlfriend,” Blaise spits, “I don’t care you are wasting away before everyone’s eyes—touch her again, and I swear Draco—"

“Why do you care?” He shots back, and Merlin, Blaise heard his own voice on Draco’s, shouting the same thing to Ginny Weasley and he wouldn’t have this, this jealousy in front of him.

“Because,” he growls, “you might have begged us to stay away from her, for whatever sick reason you have, but she’s my friend and I won’t have you squeezing her neck purple” he spat and let go of him. “I promise you Draco, you will have other things to fear and run away from if you do.”

 

**November 7th, 2003. St. Mungus. Day 5481**

"I thought this was for Granger," Draco says when Blaise raises his head. Draco watches the dark-skinned boy blush a little. "You beat me to it." 

"Do you remember that day at the Common Room when I almost beat the shit out of you?" Blaise asks and Draco tenses, his jaw locking. He only nods. "She was reviving that memory, not that moment exactly, since I've never told her about it, but the moment that I saw and made me go after you."

"Why would she want to remember that?" Draco asks, his voice low, shame lacing his tone.

"She's remembering everything. The good and the bad." 

"I still haven't forgiven myself for that day." Draco confesses.

Blaise nods. "Good." He says, "you shouldn't." His tone is cold and final. 

Blaises offers Draco the basin.

 

**November 22th, 1996. The Library. Day 747**

“Are we still ignoring what happened?” Pansy asks Draco two days later.

“I have nothing to say about it.”

“No? You don’t have anything to say about your best friend advancing on you with murder on his eyes? Or how he threatened to have your hands if you touch her again? What the hell did you do?” Pansy asks, her voice barely a whisper.

Draco doesn’t answer; he just resume his pathetic staring out of the window, looking at the girl floors under him.

“Just remember that when you’re ignoring her, you are teaching her how to live without you.” Pansy says after leaning over his shoulder and following his gaze outside. He ignores the fact she had caught him on his creepy stalking. But he ignores even more the crack on her voice. Or how heartbroken he makes her.

“Sometimes the person you want the most, is the person you are better without.” He replies, shrugging.

“Draco, you don’t get it do you?” Asks Pansy, and her voice is too broken for his liking. He loves the raven-haired girl deeply and it hurt him to see her like this. To hurt her like that.

Pansy was too boisterous, too loud and her eyes were full of life, and now, the girl in front of him, is a shell of what she once was, just another shell in the Slytherin Common Room, with a burden too heavy to carry for 16 years old.

“What?” He asks, still not looking away from the girl sitting by the tree, the messy curls of her hair framing her face and refusing to stay put behind the girl’s ear, too stubborn, just like it’s owner.

He can hear Pansy sighing and even without looking at her, he knows she has a sad smile on her face. “She could be the best thing that’s ever happened to you if you let her stay, or she could become the thing you regret letting go of the most.”

“And guess what she would be if I let her, Pans? Dead. That’s what she’d be. I can’t. I can’t be selfish with her, not her.” He replies angrily and he knows, in the moment the words leave his mouth, that he hurt her.

Pansy adores him, idolizes even, and he knows he should be thankful for such loyal friend and not throw in her face how selfish he always is, how he always takes her for granted. Because what they are doing, this show they are putting up, is Draco’s fault and he’s using her, using her feelings, using the fact that Pansy has been in love with him for as long as he can remember, and he needs Hermione as far away from him as possible. Now—after that—more than ever.

And Pansy, bless her, didn’t ask, just nodded with sad eyes and rolled with whatever Draco needed. But they might be fooling everyone, but she’s not fooling him. He sees the way she reacts when he wraps an arm around her or pulls her closer, how she flutters when he kisses her cheek.

“I know Draco.” She sighs, “but you already let her in; you let this girl in when you don’t let anyone. You let her in fully knowing it was against everything you were taught. Draco you chose her, and you can’t let something like that go.”

“She ended up in St. Mungo’s because of my father, he put her there. If he knew—"

“Your father would never hurt her if he knew. He’s not a monster, he’s your father, he loves you, and he loves your mother. Everything he ever done was to protect you. He would never hurt her.”

But Draco would, merlin, he hurt her, physically hurt her, he remembers snapping out of it to find his hands around her pretty neck, squeezing it and her eyes wide, terrified.

I fear you, she had said and Merlin wasn’t she right? Always right his girl was. She should fear him, because Draco feared himself as well.

“But he would never accept her either.” He replies, instead of saying what's on his head. Draco sighs and he chooses to say the truth for once, “and it scares me Pans, terrifies really, knowing that if for some miracle we both survive this war and she’s still with me, I’d give everything up for her, I’d give up my name.”

“Draco—" she starts, completely shocked and Merlin, she has no idea.

“You are the one that don’t get it Pans, what I feel for Granger—is too much. I feel too much and even that it’s not enough because of who I am and who she is. Because of what I did and what I am going to do. I can’t Pans.”

 

**November 25th, 1996. History of Magic Classroom. Day 750**

Hermione is fine. Her neck is healing, it doesn't burn when she turns around fast and she had stopped seeing grey eyes in the dark. She is fine. 

She had thought it through what happened that night and she was over it. Draco was going through hell and had unleashed on her, but he was sorry about that, she had seen it in his eyes, the panicked look he gave her. She could forgive him for that. But the other part, him leaving her naked and filthy and with words of pity, that would take longer for her to forgive. He had humiliated her, had bruised her ego.

Professor Binns is saying something incredibly boring about Dragons and really, only he could make dragons boring and Hermione misses Harry and Ron in this class, because then at least she had some distraction. Now the class is small, the smallest of all in her year. It is just her and Parvati from Gryffindor, three Ravenclaws, no Hufflepuffs and Draco and Daphne from Slytherin. 

The class is too big for seven students and Binns is a ghost so there isn’t even one student paying attention to his monotone explanation and the ghost doesn’t see – or cares, Hermione isn’t sure – Draco rounding his table, passing the Ravenclaws and sitting beside her. Hermione turns to him with icy eyes.

Draco gulps, looks down and then to her neck. She knows he can see the fading yellow bruises, the ones high enough to be covered with her scarf, the ones where his thumbs pressed against the sides of her Adam’s apple. 

“I’m so, so sorry.” Draco whispers and Hermione nods. Draco shakes his head, “how? I—your neck, I—"

“That wasn’t the worst thing you did that night.” She replies, and he’s taken aback, and Hermione thinks, good, because she felt terrible and she wants him to feel too.

Merlin, they are both assholes. He’s a bigger asshole than she is, because she can't do half of what he did. But right now, she can only think of hurting him and Jesus, aren’t they meant for each other? Saying things, they know they shouldn’t because it’s going to hurt, but saying it anyway. 

Hermione is not stupid, she might do a lot of stupid things when Draco’s involved but she knows better now. She knows last year wasn’t a fevered dream, they were real, and he had fallen for her just like she had. Draco had told his friends about her, had touched and kissed her with adoration on his eyes, had wanted to wake up next to her.

 _I think Draco Malfoy loves you Hermione_ , Luna had said

 _You were the best thing that happened to me_ , Draco had said, _I made you mine_ , were words that came from his mouth.

 _I could do this forever_ , he breathed on her skin and if this, them, wasn’t love, she has no idea what love is.

He loves her, but he’s terrified of it, of what loving her means.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, and this time Hermione doesn’t nod just turns around. “Granger, I’m terribly sorry, I am.”

“Are you, really? Because I know you, and you meant everything that you said and did.” She replies and she isn’t looking at him, but she knows he has his incredulous face on, “Ok, maybe not those exactly words, but you meant to hurt me and you did. So why Draco, are you exactly sorry?”

“I—” Draco starts but something makes Hermione’s heart ache, she doesn’t want to hear another, _I’m sorry_ or worse, _I don’t know_. Merlin knows she can’t hear him saying _I don’t know_ right now.

“You are changing só much. You are losing yourself and I’m losing myself trying to find the real you.”

“Please,” Draco’s tone is almost begging, “of all people, I need you to remember who I am.” He pleads and it takes everything in her not to reach him.

Draco deserves to know he’s better than what him and the rest of the school thinks of him, but Hermione can’t be the person to remind of who he is, not now, not when she lost so much trying to reach him. Hermione doesn’t know what he made of her and what she made of him; she has no idea how they got themselves into this mess.

“I will always remember the you that was mine, but you camouflage, I don’t know if what I had is the real you, or if the real you, is what you are now but—" she stops, trying to control her tears, “I want you to know that when you feel lonely or lost and forget who you are, just remember a part of you will always be with me and—" she takes a deep breath, “you can always count on me. I am here, I don’t think I can leave, even if I wanted to.”

Draco doesn’t reply, so Hermione doesn’t say anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the drill, leave a comment, make the author happy.


	31. Thirty One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This chapter is a little bigger than most because there's two in on actually. As I was editing, I thought it was too short and decided to add another one in here, so yeah, double update I guess.

**November 27th, 1996. Great Hall. Day 752**

“Are you guys coming to the match?” Luna asks in her dreamy voice after she sits at the Gryffindor table between Hermione and Ginny. Luna has dyed the tips of her hair Ravenclaw blue and is wearing a giant eagle on her head, that occasionally hums some tune, “I tried to make it sing but someone stole it for me the other night and I just found it again this morning, so I didn’t have time.” She explains after noticing everyone’s eyes on her head.

“Luna, you should tell Flitwick about this, they can’t keep stealing your stuff.” Hermione says

“I know. But it’s okay; I think they have fun doing it. I don’t mind as long as they return it later.” Luna says simply and Hermione sighs. Harry, Ron and Ginny all look at each other.

“I’m going.” Harry says, “The Hufflepuff team is almost entirely new, I want to see how they play before our match.”

“That’s very smart of you Harry.” Luna says, and when Harry, Ron and Ginny start comparing opinions on the Hufflepuff players, Luna reaches for Ginny’s pudding and Hermione uses the distraction to steal a glance at Draco.

“He doesn’t look so good, does he?” Luna asks, without looking up from her pudding, Harry and Ron arch an eyebrow at her, but quickly dismiss the girl, Ginny looks longer and narrows her eyes at Hermione for a second before dismissing Luna commentary as well.

Hermione knows better than to believe Luna’s talking about the pudding.

“I don’t think he does.” Hermione replies, her voice quiet.

“Yeah, and with all the Wrackspurt around him, I doubt he’s feeling very good.” Luna says, “I’d offer him some advices on how to get rid of them, but I don’t think he’d be very happy to hear it from me, you should try though, Hermione.”

“I don’t think he’d listen to me either.” Hermione says

“Oh, that’s nonsense,” Luna says, and looks at Hermione, “I know you don’t believe in a lot of things but surely I’d thought you would--”

“It’s different now Luna.” Hermione says and looks at Ron, who’s looking at Hermione like she just lost her mind.

“What are you two talking about?” Ron asks.

“How to convince people in get rid of Wrackspurt.” Hermione lies easily.

“Oh,” Luna said in her dreamily voice, “I see. You too have your head filled with Wrackspurt, haven’t you?”

“Yes,” Hermione answers, “but I don’t mind.”

“What about me?” Ginny asks, “do I have them too?”

“Just a few,” Luna replies promptly, “jealousy is an awful thing, they love to stay around for that.” Luna replies and Hermione almost splutters. Luna is so odd that Hermione usually forgets how intelligent and perceptive the girl is.

“We should go.” Ginny says instead of replying, Hermione notices Ginny avoiding her eyes, “I want a nice view of the match.”

Ron and Harry agree, and the trio rise from the table, Luna doesn’t follow, and Hermione watches them go.

“You haven’t told them.” Luna says.

“No.”

“Why?”

“They hate him.”

“But they love you.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“I guess.” Luna shrugs, and Hermione can see the girl doesn’t agree with her.

“What?”

“I know you think they wouldn’t understand, but I think it’s you who are scared of telling them, because even you can’t understand how you love him.”

“There’s nothing more to tell.” Hermione says quietly.

“I don’t believe that is true. But I need to go, the game is about to begin, bye Hermione.”

“Bye.” Hermione watches her go and opens one of her books after the food is taken away. 

The Hall is almost empty now, the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff table are empty, there’s only a few Slytherins scattered around and even less Gryffindors, everyone headed out to watch the match.

Professor Vectra is the one supervising the hall, but she’s more interested in her readings than in watching over a dozen of students who prefer reading and food instead of Quidditch in an awful weather.

Hermione is not surprised when Blaise decides to seat at the Gryffindor table, she knows he’s been following her around for a while now and that Blaise was there that day in the courtyard, she had seen him stumbling away. Hermione knows he has seen her neck and she thinks it was him who sent Draco to apologize to her. 

She shoots a glance at the Slytherin table, only to find it empty of sixth years and turns to Blaise, “I know what you are doing. You don’t need to keep an eye for me”, she doesn’t expect him to answer, so she almost jumps when Blaise slides down the bench, closer to her.

“You are my friend.”

“I’m okay.”

“You didn’t seem okay that day.”

“You didn’t need to send Draco to apologize.” she says, and Blaise looks confused for half a second before tensing his jaw.

“I told him to stay away from you, in fact.”

“Blaise—"

“What happened?” Blaise asks, “What did he do to you? What happened for him to—"

“I told him I loved him,” Hermione whispers and Blaise exhales sharply, “he didn’t take well.”

“Granger, please tell me you didn’t forgive him.”

“It wasn’t him—"

“For fucks sake Granger, don’t excuse him, it was—"

“I’m not excusing him. I’m not. I know it was wrong and I hate him for it, but you didn’t see him that day Blaise—you didn’t hear the things he said before—he’s so scared Blaise, I’m so scared he’s going to do something stupid.”

“You can’t let him get away with these stuff, whatever mess he’s into, he can’t—"

“I know Blaise, I know. He won’t. I promise you.”

“I’m sorry.” Blaise says, his voice quiet. “This—I didn’t want any of this—you are my friend, you are, I’m—"

“I know. Theo told me the other day.” Blaise’s eyes widen, “What? You didn’t know we were friends too? Sort of, anyway.” Blaise chuckles and shakes his head.

“It’s not—I just, I didn’t expect it would be Theo the first to talk to you.” Blaise chuckles again, “Salazar, this boy—" he shakes his head amused. “He’s full of surprises, Theo is.”

Hermione smiles a little, “he’s a fine lad.”

“What did he tell you?”

“About his father and his mother, where he’s living—he asked me to remember you for the people I met last year, he told me some of you are scared, some don’t have a choice—I know why you are ignoring me, it's because of Voldemort.”

“Don’t say his name.” Blaise flinches.

“It’s just a name.”

“It’s never just a name.” Blaise says.

They stay quiet for a while, Hermione pretends to read her book, but there’s something eating inside her that she wants to know. Blaise is still fidgeting about something on his seat and she doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but she’s curious. Ginny and Dean had spent most of their free time together in one of the loveseats at the Common Room and she hadn’t said a word to Hermione about boys.

“Go on, ask whatever it is,” Blaise says, and Hermione almost jumps, “I can see you are dying to ask something.”

Hermione looks at him and Blaise has a small smile on his face, it’s not his smirk and Hermione thinks he looks even better without that smirk.

“What’s going on between you and Ginny?”

Blaise sighs, “honestly? I don’t know.”

“I heard the two of you after the Slug Party.” Hermione explains.

“Of course, you did.” Blaise snorts, “That girl is mad.” Hermione raises an eyebrow at him.

“She’s my friend.”

“All your friends are mad, you know that Granger.” Hermione rolls her eyes.

“Blaise, come on.”

“Okay.” Blaise sighs, “I don’t think it’s between me and her, I think it’s about you.”

“What? Why?”

“She’s your best friend, right? And she tells you everything and you don’t? She knows you’ve been seeing someone. She’s pretty sure it’s me, I mean, she was, until that day—she feels resentful because she told you about me and you can’t tell her about Draco and no offense Granger, but you have so many secrets going for you right now.”

“I know Blaise, but I—" her words get stuck on her throat, Hermione is getting out of excuses to explain why she hasn’t told anyone. 

“What you heard that day was jealousy, but not in the way you are thinking. Ginny knows I am a part of your life that she doesn’t know about, she knows you are hiding something and that I probably know. It’s only logical to assume you and I are together.”

“I can’t tell her Blaise.” Hermione whispers, “It’s not that simple.”

“I know Granger, why do you think Vince and Greg doesn’t know? It’s not everyone who’s willing to understand.”

“Luna knows. Fred and George knows too.” Hermione says, because she doesn’t want him thinking all of her friends can’t understand.

“Really? I thought—"

“They found out, I didn’t—they don’t care, Fred only asked if Draco was treating me right.”

“See!” Blaise says with a wild smile, Hermione chuckles.

“Fred did kiss Pansy, right?” Hermione asks, “he can’t fault me for Draco.” Blaise only smiles and Hermione holds his hand briefly, “I’m kind of lost right now Blaise.”

“I know, love.”

“I don’t know what to do, I don’t know if I just accept that is over or if I try to reach him and help him, I—"

“I don’t think anyone can help Draco in the mess that he’s got himself into.”

“Do you know—"

“I wish.” Blaise answers, but Hermione doesn’t think it's completely true, he’s not looking at her face and Blaise is a terribly liar to the ones he’s cares about.

Hermione sighs and decides to change the subject. “About Ginny, how many times have you and her kissed?”

“Evading, aren’t we?” Blaise chuckles but it falls humorlessly. “Six or seven times? I don’t know. But it was never like you and Draco, I think I’m her rebellious act you know?”

“What do you mean?”

“The first time we kissed, she was so mad at me and I think I angered her even more after it because it was a good kiss. She doesn’t like me, she doesn’t have hidden feelings for me, and we don’t even talk. I’m pretty sure it’s just hate-sex without the sex part.”

“I don’t think Ginny would do something like that.”

“But I don’t have any other explanations for her behavior. Our second kiss, which I’m sure you know, was during Valentine’s day, she was crying when we bumped, I think she had a roll with Michael, but she just grabbed me by the collar and kissed me, and she had the nerve to slap me afterwards and hex me.”

Hermione grinned, remembering the day and their ridiculous argument.

“And the others?”

“I kissed her the third time, Mother was annoying me through her letters and Ginny saw me grumbling about it and made fun of me, so I just got up, walked to her and kissed her. Another screaming match ensued. The fourth time we were so drunk, the Hufflepuffs were throwing a party, she was there with her fourth-year friends, it just happened. The fifth and sixth kiss it was me, I just wanted to kiss her.”

“Do you like her?”

“I don’t know how one can’t like her. She’s really everything you know? She has so much going on inside her, she’s soft but at the same time she’s hard, she’s silly but at the same time she’s really sad. Not to mention angry, she’s so angry Granger, and she hates to be wrong.”

“I thought you said you didn’t talk.”

“We don’t but—There is this girl, this beautiful, courageous, strong-witted girl whom I’ve been kissing for the duration of the school year, I watched her and is pretty easy to see you know? If she wants something, she goes after it, I mean, how could she not, with being the younger of seven? She doesn’t want anyone telling her what to do. 

‘She has her own friends, she’s the youngest of the Slug Club, she doesn’t let anyone give Loony or Longbottom shit, she’s out there hexing boys left and right because of something sexist, but then there’s this war, with people disappearing and she was fourteen during the Ministry thing and she knows she’s going to fight sooner than later and there’s Potter, bloody Potter always in danger and putting everyone else as well, and the fact that Potter is her crush since before she came to Hogwarts and she’s trying to move on from him but you Gryffindors are fiercely loyal and he has started to notice her and it’s a little too much? Having to pretend she’s just a normal teenager with boy problems when we are all far from it? And because she’s a girl she hates that she is having boy problems when there’s all these awful things going on in the world right now.”

Hermione is smiling softly at him and Hermione wishes she and Draco were in good terms, so she could tell him about this, tell him that he was wrong and that Blaise does feelings.

“Have you tried talking to her about this?”

“No. I know we will never be anything more than that, I don’t mind really. I like her, but in the way I like people, some fascinates me, some don’t. I like beauty Granger.”

“You are fascinating Blaise Zabini.”

“Well, I know Granger. You are not so bad yourself.”

 

**December 10th, 1996. The Wooden Bridge. Day 765**

The first two weeks went without any incidents. Hermione talked to Ginny for long hours and even without telling the truth, she told as much as she could. Hermione told there was a boy, but not anymore, she didn’t say the name, nor the year or the house but she promised it wasn’t Blaise and that they had never kissed, that they were just friends, as weird as it was. They talked about the war, about Voldemort; Ginny told Hermione she still had nightmares about him possessing her, about the Minister. They talked about Harry, about Ron and Lavender, about Sirius, about Remus and Tonks wasting away. They even talked about Draco, about Harry’s obsession and if the Slytherin could really be a Death Eater now. Hermione felt relieved, even if she didn’t show, just talking about it was cathartic and it helped that Ginny thought Harry might be overreacting.

Hermione had no more encounters with Blaise or Theo, but Hermione understood now, even if she missed them and their ways.

She is looking ahead of her, at the vastness of white in front of her, and letting the cold winds from the Wooden Bridge, freeze her heart so maybe then, she can pretend all the hurt is only from the cold.

Hermione smells him before she sees him, there's a current of wind and his perfume carries. She's about to turn when she hears him speak behind her. “Don’t you think it’s a bit too cold for you to be outside?” Hermione looks behind her and sees Draco standing there. His hand on his pockets, his green and silver scarf wrapped around his neck and he’s wearing the trench coat she gave him last Christmas. Hermione hates the way her heart expands.

She hates even more how just the sight of him makes the ice around her heart melt a little.

“I’m thinking.” Hermione replies and turns back to the barrier, back to the sea of white in front of her, the lake is almost completely frozen by this time of the year, there’s no green left on the grounds, “the view is beautiful in here.” She says, she can see the entire castle from here and it looks majestic.

“I can see it.” Draco says and Hermione blushes, even knowing he’s not seeing her face.

“What are you doing here?”

“I was looking for you.” Hermione sucks in a breath when she feels him closer, she gets goosebumps all over when his next words warm the back of her neck, “I miss looking at the ceiling and listening to you breathing.”

_I miss you_ , Hermione thinks, _I miss you_

“You are the one who left.” _left me_ , she wants to say, but Hermione remembers vividly what happened the last time she said something.

“You said if I was ever lost I could—Please, look at me.” Draco’s voice cracks a bit and she takes a deep breath.

“I’m scared.” Hermione whispers, “I’m scared I will break if I look at you.”

Hermione turns slowly, she feels childish to have her eyes closed, but Draco’s so close, his perfume is exactly the same from what she smelt that day in Potions and it throws her off. 

She thinks is a curse how acute she’s with him, because she can feel his hands hovering over her cheeks.

“Can I touch you?” Draco asks in a whisper; his voice almost gets lost in the wind.

Hermione opens her eyes and she thinks all the stars are in the grey of his eyes, “Don’t hurt me, please.” her voice is barely louder than a whisper, but it cuts through Draco all the same.

“I won’t. I promise you.” Draco says and Hermione nods, her breath high in her throat.

Draco touches her with delicate fingers, his left thumb brushes her cheekbones and the touch is so light, his fingers feel like feathers. He touches her nose next, traces the tiny freckles to the bridge of her nose. Her lips are next, he touches the left corner, runs his thumb on her lower lip and Hermione can’t help but let them part. Draco’s other hand rests on her collarbone over the scarf; his fingers are hidden in the folds of the scarf.

“Can I kiss you?”

Hermione shakes her head no and Draco’s face falls. She removes her hands from her pockets and holds his face. Draco’s searching for something on her face, but Hermione doesn’t think she has the answers. She doesn’t think she can explain his lips are poison to her and she’s dying to breath him in or that every time he kisses her, he takes something from her. Hermione doesn’t want to explain that every time they kiss, he leaves her.

But his eyes are searching and are clear as the snowy sky, and Hermione thinks he finds his answer all the same because he looks incredibly sad. So, Hermione traces his sad eyes with gloved fingers and Draco twitches slightly when the wool brushes his eyelashes, Hermione can’t help but to smile fondly at him. Hermione covers the purple under his eyes with her thumbs while her fingers bury in the hair over his ears. She keeps them there, buried in his golden hair and lets a long sigh when she pulls him down and presses their foreheads together.

“I miss you.” Hermione says, “We had something good, didn’t we?” She asks and wraps both arms around him, burying her face on his scarf. Draco doesn’t hug her back and before she can be hurt, she realizes he’s waiting for her permission, “Hold me Draco.”

Draco holds her the moment the words leave her mouth, wrapping both arms over her shoulder and pressing her face closer to his neck. Hermione gloved hands hold tight onto Draco’s back.

“You were the best thing that happened to me,” says Draco and Hermione cries on his chest. She remembers him saying this to her at St. Mungo’s. She hugs him tighter.

 

**December 15th, 1996. Myrtle’s Bathroom. Day 770**

**Hermione doesn't see him enter nor pays attention to Myrtle’s giggling while she washed her face, so she wasn’t to blame for the shriek she let when she looked at her reflection in the mirror and saw Draco Malfoy behind her.**

**Draco is the last person Hermione wants to see. Her face is blotchy from crying and her hair is a mess. But mostly, she doesn't want Draco knowing that she was crying because of him.**

**Hermione had hoped things would improve after that night by the bridge, but no, instead it all seemed some feverish dream of hers. If it weren’t for the frosty nose she had the next day, she’d probably believe she had dreamed the entire thing. But heir hugs, that lasted a lifetime, the silent walk back to the castle, and the light kiss on her forehead when they separated at the staircase, they happened. She didn’t dream them.**

**But nothing changed. Draco ignored her the next day, made a show of hugging and whispering to Pansy during Charms. The two competed with Ron and Lavender to which couple was more nauseating.**

**The entire thing sucks. Because she was ready to move on, to accept that Draco was out of her life, that he wanted distance but then, that night happened and then _bam_. One little thing, and she feels like she lost him all over again. **

**“Leave, I can’t deal with you right now.” Says Hermione, looking at him through the mirror.**

**“And you think I care?” And Hermione wants to scream and punch the mirror.**

**“You are a jerk.” She says when she turns around, facing him. Hermione thinks she lost something, because Draco is grinning, and she feels angry, because he’s baiting her and she’s falling for it.**

**“Were you crying for me, love?” Draco asks, and she hates the nickname, Hermione doesn’t think she can ever forgive him for ruining it for her.**

**Hermione smiles sadistically and Draco braces himself – _good_ , she thinks – and Hermione walks towards him, stopping inches from him, “what do you want me to say?”**

**Draco doesn’t reply; he just looks down at her with that awful, condescending smirk, like she’s something silly.**

**“You want me to say that I hate you? Do you want me to ask you to leave me alone?” Hermione asks, defiantly. “Because I’m not going to. You want to end this? Then you do it.” because if Draco doesn’t let her go, Hermione thinks she’d leave this whole castle in ruins to follow him to hell.**

**“There’s no this.” Draco replies with a smile, an ugly, mean and arrogant smile.**

**“So why are you still here?” Hermione stresses. “You want me to ask you to stay?” She asks, her eyes angry and her lips curling in a scowl that she learned from him.**

**“Isn’t this what you are doing?” He asks, pointing between both of them, with an eyebrow cocked and his head tipped to the side.**

**“No.” Hermione answers, her face turned in a sneer. “Our time is over. We can keep fucking and cuddling, but I don’t have anything left to give you. I don’t know what he told you to make you like this. I don’t know what he promised you, but I hope is worth it.” She says and anger flashes in his eyes.**

**“You don’t know what you are talking about Granger.” Draco sneers.**

**But Hermione knows, she might not believe Harry when the boy says Draco has the mark, but she knows this, this entire year, is Voldemort’s doing.**

**“I sincerely hope that all his bending doesn’t end breaking you so much that you can’t mend back.” Draco scowls, “You can scowl all you want, but the way you see yourself, and the way I see you, are two very different things.”**

**“You see someone that doesn’t exist Granger.”**

**Hermione laughs, “I see you trying very hard to make me believe in that, but guess what? You can’t.”**

**“I’m clearly not trying hard enough.” Draco says and then ponders, “you are stubborn as a mule, after all.”**

**“You want me to hate you?” Hermione asks, and Draco makes a face like Hermione just stated the obvious, “I already do.” She replies, and Draco is quick to school his face but Hermione could see the second Draco’s mask fell.**

**“Then we are done here aren’t we?” Draco asks, his face terrifyingly smooth.**

**“It doesn’t mean I have stopped loving you Draco Malfoy.” Hermione says and Draco is taken aback, “because I never stopped, not even for I second. Even when I hated you the most.” Draco is quiet, he doesn’t flinch this time when she says it, “But I will give it to you, you are making very hard for me to keep loving you, but as you said, I am stubborn as a mule.”**

**“You don’t know what you are saying,” Draco snarls, “you are just pretending the world isn’t bigger than us and that we are all going to bloody make it.”**

**“Maybe. But it doesn’t change the fact that you are still here and that I’m not going anywhere else.”**

**“I thought you said our time is over and you don’t have anything else to give me.”**

**“I don’t.” Hermione says and takes a deep breath, because what she’s about to say can end in two ways: either she’s right about how he feels about her or she will be left standing humiliated once again. With a pounding heart, Hermione squares her shoulders and prepares herself, “But it doesn’t change the fact that I still want you and I will keep wanting you. So, you will have to say it Draco. Say, _I never want to be with you again_ , say; _I want to never look at you or to talk to you_. Say it Draco Malfoy and leave this bathroom and you won’t need to worry about me ever again.”**

**Draco stares. Hermione stares back. She doesn’t move, doesn’t let him know how open and vulnerable she’s right now, how everything she has, she just put it open for him to choose. Hermione can see him thinking and she sees the moment she wins.**

**Draco grabs her neck and smashes their lips together; he snarls into her lips and kisses her like he already regrets his decision. Hermione clings to the front of his robes, savoring every second of the kiss before he ultimately leaves her again.**

**Hermione doesn’t care. She knows this isn’t fifth year anymore and they won’t get those moments back, but she needed to be sure that yes, Draco wants this, he wants her just as much as she wants him and that his reason for being nearly unbearably annoying has nothing to do with not loving her back.**

**His hands are possessively on her hips and she has hers buried in his hair while their lips meet and their tongues dance. Draco moans deliciously when she runs her tongue on the roof of his mouth and he bites and pulls her lower lip. They kiss for a long time; Hermione wouldn’t be surprised if hours and days passed.**

**Eventually they stop and Hermione braces herself, she knows what’s coming and she’s prepared. Draco stumbles backwards, his eyes wide and dark, his lips parted and swollen. He can’t even pretend he didn’t enjoy the kiss because of the bulge on his pants.**

**Draco spits on the floor and wipes his mouth; Hermione pretends it doesn’t sting. She narrows her eyes and dares him to say something. He’s quick to oblige.**

**“You think I won’t leave?" Draco asks, the condescending smile on his lips. “You think I can’t live without you?” His voice is full of laughter and he snorts. “You are nothing.”**

**“Ok” Hermione replies and rolls her shoulders back, “But I'm tired of you kissing me and then snubbing me.” She points a finger at him, “You can’t decide if you love me or hate me—oh please,” Hermione scoffs when Draco snorts. “And then you cry on my shoulder and turns into a total asshole!” Hermione says, looking in his eyes and ignoring how her ribs feel like breaking inward, “isn’t this a description of our relationship?”**

**“There’s no relationship!” Draco yells**

**“Then leave!” Hermione yells, ignoring the way the words feel like sandpaper running all the way up her throat, “leave Draco Malfoy! Because I’m not going after you! I’m not going to humiliate myself trying to make you see me as a person! You can’t stay with me anymore? Fine! You can’t stand the sight of me? Fucking fine! But don’t kiss me and wipe your mouth because I’m not a nasty thing!”**

**Draco doesn’t move. He knows that, in this sadistic game they are playing, the one who leaves the bathroom loses. And they are the most stubborn person they know. Hermione plants her feet firmly on the floor, her arms crossed on her chest; Draco has his hands on his pants pockets. Myrtle giggles and soars between them and then wails a bit when she remembers no one cared enough about her to plant themselves on the bathroom.**

**Hermione doesn’t know how long they stand, she guesses it’s almost an hour because her leg is cramping, but she still refuses to move. Draco shuffles the weight of his body from leg to leg. It’s Professor Snape that finds them in their contest.**

**“What in Merlin’s name is going on here?” Snape asks.**

**“They are fighting.” Myrtle giggles**

**Hermione blushes when she remembers Snape knows Legillimency and probably knows all of it.**

**Snape only gives her a look and Hermione wants to bury herself.**

**“No, I don’t really want to know,” says Snape, he looks from Draco to Hermione, really looks at the both of them, snarls at Draco, who sets his jaw, and then roll his eyes. “Leave, now, the both of you. And if I find the pair of you anywhere continuing this ridiculous display of stubbornness, I will put you in detention for the rest of the school year.**

**Neither of them can leave fast enough.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed and I'm sorry about the delay!! this weekend we had the CCXP here in my country and I was barely at home.


	32. Thirty Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! this is shorter than the last one, but I hope you enjoy it all the same!

**December 15th, 1996. Prefect’s Bathroom. Day 770**

“Why are you crying Granger?” Hermione hears Pansy’s voice on the other side of the stall.

“Leave me alone,” Hermione cries, still inside.

The moment Snape was out of sight, Hermione went for the emptiest bathroom she could find. She almost never uses the Prefect's Bathroom, she thought it was a bit too much, but right now she could use some over the top faucets.

“Do you know how powerful you are?” Pansy asks, Hermione can hear the sadness in the Slytherin's voice.

“What are you talking about?” 

“To be the only thing a person loves. To hold that much power over someone’s heart.”

“Go away Pansy, please.” Hermione says, stressing the _please_

“You taught him what was like to love and to be loved, you made him vulnerable, you made him—"

“Pansy.” Hermione warns. Really, after today Hermione can punch the Slytherin in the face if she doesn’t stop talking.

Draco had already drained all her energy for today. The discussion, the kiss and the rawness of the things she said, pretending to not care and not be hurt. She has had enough for one day.

“Granger, you don’t understand—"

“I do understand Pansy! I understand perfectly! You and Draco are together now, fine! He’s now back to hating my guts, fucking fine!” Hermione doesn’t even care about what she’s yelling, she just wants Pansy gone.

“No, Granger, no. You are wrong, so wrong. Draco and I—we aren’t together Granger.” Pansy whispers and Hermione wishes she could pretend but, she never opened a door so fast. 

She stares at Pansy with curious eyes, Pansy smiles a little and kneels in front of her, putting both hands on Hermione’s knee.

“Explain.” Hermione whispers, not trusting her voice.

“He made me promise, made all of us promise Granger, you need to understand that—he needed you to hate him, he needed you to keep your distance—the Dark Lor—You-Know-Who, is living on his house, his father is in Azkaban, his mother is alone with him.

‘He’s terrified for her Granger, You-Know-Who is pissed at Draco’s father, He wants to punish them. He can’t keep her safe, but he can keep _you_.”

“I don’t understand.” Hermione mumbles, her eyes still full of tears.

“He made us spread the rumors about us, about Tracy, he asked us to keep away from you as well. He thinks if You-Know-Who finds out about the two of you, he will come for you or punish his mother. He’s trying to protect you.”

Hermione remembers his hands on her throat and the purple fingertips that he left, “He’s doing a hell of a job then,” Hermione snaps sarcastically. 

She’s just so tired.

“Draco wants you to hate him.”

Hermione snorts, “I wish I could.” 

Pansy looks at her with something between pity and understanding.

“I used to hate you, you know.” Hermione snorts again and Pansy chuckles, “yeah, probably even before Draco was in the picture—but when I found out, Merlin I hated you with a passion, I was so envious, I wanted to throttle you. But then I began to see the signs, all started with that stupid pencil, he was enamored with the thing and I knew it wasn’t about the thing at all.

‘I’m still jealous; I think I will be for a long time. Draco was what I wanted for as long as I can remember and seeing you with him—seeing the way he looked at you—I hated it, and Merlin, I saw everything, I saw you changing him, I saw you making him better, I saw you making Blaise better, and Theo, you even got Daphne around your finger, everyone adored you and I hated it, but at the same time, I was _so glad_ , so glad he had found you.

‘Before You-Know-Who’s return, I was terrified for him, he spoke of him with such an adoration that I knew he was going to do something incredibly stupid, I saw my father on him and—” Pansy sighs, “and then you appeared. You destroyed everything he believed in, you made him from scratch and I was so relieved.”

“He changed on his own.”

“No Granger, it was you. You made him see, you made him think, you made him love. And well, I couldn’t hate you after that, could I? You made him so happy, in a way I knew I never could, but I hoped I would.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Nah,” Pansy waved off, “I've already come in terms with this. Draco is very precious to me, but you are everything to him—no, don’t make that face. It’s true, Granger.”

“The things he says—The way he treats me—I can’t Pansy, I can’t handle it anymore. He— _Jesus_ , sometimes is hard to believe he ever cared about me--

“Say that again, Granger, and I’ll kill you before anyone else even has a chance.” Pansy hisses.

And Hermione doesn’t doubt Pansy for a second. 

Hermione trusts Pansy, as stupid as it is, but she does, and she knows the girl is telling the truth, so that’s why she sighs and embarrassingly, says, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Use your advantage. You’ve seen his heart Granger, you hold it after all. Give him a piece of mind for the way he treats you, hex his sorry arse once or twice, but don’t give up on him.”

“What do I do?” Hermione asks, she still feels lost; she doesn’t know how to reach him. 

Pansy smiles genially at her and Hermione half cries-half laughs and listen to the raven-haired girl.

 

**December 20th, 1996. Transfiguration Classroom. Day 775**

Transfiguration was the best option for Hermione and Pansy’s plan. It was the one with more students from Gryffindor and Slytherin. Professor McGonagall was already writing down on the board the equations for what they’d be doing today when Hermione and Harry arrived. She shot a quickly glance at the Slytherins and Pansy smirked and winked, Hermione had to look away to keep from smiling.

“Hi, Parvati!” says Hermione after sitting down, ignoring Ron and Lavender completely. Ron was being a completely jerk since he and Lavender had started dating and there was only an amount Hermione could hear about Ron’s kissing from Lavender in their dorm. “Are you going to Slughorn’s party tonight?” Hermione asks happily, smiling falsely.

Pansy on the other side of the classroom, nudges Daphne to get the girl's attention to their conversation and consequently, the boys'.

“No invite,” Parvati replies gloomily, Hermione fakes empathy, “I’d love to go, though, it sounds like it’s going to be really good, you are going, aren’t you?”

“Oh, yeah.” Hermione replies, and if her voice is just a bit louder, it isn't her fault, “I’m meeting Cormac at eight, and we’re—"

A lot of things happen at once: Ron makes a noise that seems a lot like a plunger being withdraw from a blocked sink; Pansy gasps indignantly; Draco turns his head away from the Gryffindors so fast that Hermione thinks he might have snapped something--not to mention the lack of air in the classroom after his hard intake of breath. 

Draco looks like he's one second away from turning blue.

Hermione acts as though she had not seen or heard anything, “—we’re going up to the party together.”

“Cormac?” Asked Parvati, “Cormac McLaggen, you mean?”

“That’s right.” Hermione replies, her voice never the sweeter.

“Are you going out with him, then?” Parvati asks, wide-eyed, Lavender not looking so different.

Hermione notices the stillness in Draco’s form and she knows the boy is hearing every word. Pansy's giant smirk on his side almost makes her laugh.

“Oh—yes, didn’t you know?” Hermione asks, with the same voice Parvati and Lavender always use when talking about boys. Pansy looks proud, Blaise is grinning.

“No!” Says Parvati, looking extremely agog at this gossip, Lavender can barely restrain herself. “Wow you like your Quidditch players, don’t you? First Krum and now McLaggen—" Hermione couldn’t have planned for something this great.

With a genial smile and twinkling eyes, Hermione corrects her, “I like really good Quidditch players, if you know what I mean.” Pansy can’t keep a straight face and Hermione beams at the choked sound coming from Draco, but covers with her hand. “But anyways, we can talk later, I need to copy what Professor McGonagall is writing.”

Hermione turns and at once Lavender and Parvati put their heads together to discuss the news; Ron looks blank and Hermione feels sorry for him, but there’s no higher prize as the look on Draco’s face: his features are contorted in contempt, his cheeks flushed and his lips flat. Draco has both hands closed in fists over the table, his knuckles are white, and Hermione worries he’ll draw blood from how hard he is clenching them. 

The class is as hard as ever and with Hermione’s attention divided between McGonagall’s explanations on how to dye an eyebrow and on Draco’s and Theo’s whispering, she finds even harder to follow what McGonagall is saying. She hopes to get an hour or two to study before the next class to make up for today.

The moment the bell rings, Draco is the first to disappear from the classroom, Ron soon follows after, pulling Lavender along with him, Parvati stays to talk with McGonagall and Harry, seeing Blaise head for Hermione, decides to go with Ernie for the next class.

“Granger, you asshole!” Blaise says as greeting and Hermione and Pansy beam at each other. “Pans just filled me in on everything and let me tell you, I don’t want to ever have you seeking for revenge.”

Hermione grins at him and Blaise smiles at her. “So, did it work?” She asks, flustered.

“Work? Merlin Hermione, I’ve never seen him só uncomfortable.” Blaise said, and Pansy nods her agreement. 

“Granger, now comes the second part,” Pansy starts “At four thirty, you better be at the Prefect’s Bathroom, Daph will be there as well, we will help you clean up, so that idiotic of fake-boyfriend of mine knows exactly what he’s missing.”

“Pans, I can’t believe you let me believe in that, well I should have known better--” Blaise begins, and Pansy narrows her eyes at him, “No offense love, but you two have seen each other in diapers and Draco never glanced at you, it just seemed off that he’d start now.”

“Well, isn’t this flattering.” Pansy huffs, but the smile never leaves her face, “Blaise I hope you choke when you try your tie tonight, Granger, what color is your dress, so I can prepare myself?”

“Light Pink.” Hermione replies and Pansy stirs both of them out of the classroom; Pansy, with her eyebrow a greenish brown, Blaise’s all green and Hermione’s a lighter shade of brown than her hair. Pansy has one arm linked in each of their arms. “Wait, I have to talk to Professor McGonagall really quick, I will meet you there, Pans.”

“Don’t be late!” Pansy calls from the corridor and Hermione turns to McGonagall, who had just dismissed Parvati and is looking at Hermione with a raised eyebrow.

“Quite the friendship you have going Miss Granger.” Is the first thing McGonagall says and Hermione is quick to advert her eyes, “I admit is not something I’d expect from you.”

“They are great.” Hermione replies promptly, and McGonagall just stares. “Sometimes—Erm, when they want mostly.” Hermione corrects and shuffle from feet to feet.

“They are something,” is McGonagall reply. “But I’m sure you are an intelligent girl and can decide whom you befriend with.” Her tone is stern, and Hermione avoids her eyes again.

Hermione wonders if she and Draco are something the professors talk in the Professors Lounge. She doubts their thing is as secret as she thinks. Enough ghosts and paintings have seen them together and Hermione knows they talk, the Fat Lady sure comments every time Hermione arrives after curfew. Not to mention Snape, who Hermione is sure knows everything.

“Professor,” Hermione ignores the thoughts in her head, “I wanted to know if I still can sign my name to stay in the castle for Christmas.”

“Why? If you mind me asking, I thought you would be spending it with the Weasleys.”

“Well, yes, I was—Ron and I, we are not talking right now, and my parents have already flown to France for their trip and I don’t want to bother them—"

“Are you sure? You will be the only person at Gryffindor Tower during the holidays.”

“It’s okay, it will be nice to have the quiet to study and practice.” 

McGonagall looks at her for a few seconds before sighing and pulling the list from her desk. 

Hermione looks at the short list of names written: a first year Slytherin and two third year Hufflepuffs. 

“Everyone is going home tomorrow.” Hermione says after reading the three names above hers.

“Yes, with everything going on, the parents want their children home.” Hermione nods, but she thinks everyone would be safer at Hogwarts, “is that all?”

“Just one more thing, if someone change their mind about staying, would they still be able to stay?”

“Well, it depends. I won’t be letting any other Gryffindor sign, but the other Heads my let their students stay.”

“Oh, thank you, that’s all.”

 

**December 20th, 1996. Prefects Bathroom. Day 775**

“Merlin, what died, and decided to be buried in your hair?” Pansy asks after trying and failing to run a brush down Hermione’s hair.

“There’s must be something we can try to make this lighter.” Daphne says, a finger on her chin and her expression pensive, “what did you used at the Yule Ball? Maybe we can try that again.”

“Oh no, I used huge amounts of Sleekeasy, it was a nightmare to take them off and I don’t it have anymore.”

“Shit. I don’t have it either, Daph?” Daph only shook her head. “Next plan. Is it worse if you wash and blow dry or if you let if dry on its own?”

“I--”

“It’s never better huh? Ok. Daph, get the mousse and the pomades; Granger, shower.”

Hermione just follows Pansy's orders and goes shower, she washes her hair, applies the conditioning Pansy gives her and when she’s wrapped around a fluffy towel, the Slytherin’s girls get back to work.

She stays put by the edge of the pool while Daphne dries Hermione’s hair with her wand, Pansy works on the mousse while it's almost all dry. If it wasn’t Hermione’s hair they were trying to tame, Hermione would’ve thought they had forgotten she was there. The girls keep throwing comments about her hair, completely ignoring Hermione’s complains and yelps.

It’s almost two hours later when they finish and Hermione is pulling on her dress. Daphne has her make-up kit open and Hermione recognizes one or two muggle brands.

“What’s the point in all of this? He wasn’t even invited! Why do I need to use all that?”

“Granger, there’s still so much to be done that, honestly, what both Krum and Draco saw in you is beyond me.” Pansy says and Hermione flinches.

“Pansy!” Daphne scrutinizes and elbows Pansy but it’s too late.

Hermione’s chin trembles and she hates herself. She never cared about what she looked like, she never thought important to color herself for class or to pluck her eyebrows constantly or to brush her hair every day. Hermione hates that now she does, that now, Draco made her insecure enough to doubt herself. She feels angry with herself and with him. How dare him to make her apply copious amount of makeup and hair care products so he will look at her again?

She’s about to open her mouth to say she doesn’t want any of this, but her body betrays her and her voice gets stuck on her throat and her eyes fill with unwanted tears.

“Granger, ignore her, she’s a bitch.” Daphne starts, “you are so beautiful, you don’t need any of this.” Daphne wipes the tears from Hermione’s eyes,

“What if we are doing this for nothing? He wasn’t even invited, he—"

“That’s why we have a plan girl, you need to trust us with this.”

“But—" but Hermione stops talking and freezes, Ginny had just opened the door to the prefect bathroom and was staring, wide eyed at the three girls, “Ginny.” Hermione blurts and Ginny’s face changes.

Hermione doesn’t know how to begin explaining this: why is she crying, and Daphne Greengrass is wiping her tears, why Pansy Parkinson has a makeup kit in her hands and positions herself protectively between the two Gryffindors.

“When I said we should get ready together you said no, you said you weren’t going to do much. You could have said you already had plans.”

“But I didn’t—I was! Pansy dragged me here, it was her idea—I wasn’t going to—"

“Forgive me if I find hard to believe Pugsy Parkinson and Daphne Greengrass dragged you to play doll with you on their own volition.”

Hermione remains silent, when she and Ginny talked, she didn’t mention her friendship with Pansy and Daphne, Blaise was already too much for Ginny to understand and Ginny was a smart girl, she’d quickly do the math once she realized Hermione was friends with half of Draco’s friends.

“I will ignore the nickname out of pity for you, because really, I thought you could do better Weaslette.” 

Ginny keeps staring, she looks between Pansy and Hermione, she looks at Daphne, who now has a hold on Hermione’s arm, she looks at Hermione with hurt and betrayal all over her features.

“Ginny, I—"

“No. Clearly you are in such good company, I wouldn’t want to intrude on you and your friends. I will go somewhere else.”

Ginny gives a nasty look in Pansy's direction and Pansy smirks, Hermione closes her eyes. “I wonder if you talk about me with such loving words in front of your brother.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh, nothing really, just another thing you don’t know about.” Pansy says viciously.

“I told you everything Hermione, and you keep lying to me, why?”

“I’m not lying, I just—"

“Bullshit! I’m tired of it! You say there’s a boy, but you refuse to say who, you are friends with them—"

“We aren’t talking about Blaise, are we?” Pansy says, with a fake smile and a forced giggle.

“You told them.” Ginny says, eyes narrowed.

“No, dear, Blaise told us. We are friends you know, we share things.”

“Pansy.” Hermione warns, but Ginny is already turning around to leave.

“You don’t need to worry Weaslette! She’s not making out with Blaise, there’s no need for such jealousy! He’s all yours for when you get bored!” Pansy calls after Ginny

“Stop! You are just making everything worse!”

“Everything is already shitty Granger, it will only get better when she finds out who you really making out. Oh, wait, it will get terribly worse before it gets anywhere near better.”

“You are such a bitch.”

“Well, I do have a reputation to maintain. Anyway, now you do need makeup, your face is all blotchy and red from crying. You are making me feel much better already, Daphne is right, you are beautiful, and I’m jealous and bitter. Let’s go Granger; let’s make my boyfriend jealous.”

 

**December 20th, 1996. Fat Lady Portrait. Day 775**

Hermione is ready; she and the girls are outside the portrait, where she agreed to meet with Cormac and Hermione is nervous.

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“Granger, listen to me, I know Draco and there’s no way he’s missing this, even if Daphne and I hadn’t our end of the plan.”

“Ok, he will be there, but what if it doesn’t work the way we planned? What if I can’t get through him? What if he realizes he really doesn’t love me?”

“It won’t happen Granger, I promise you.” Daphne says and grabs both of Hermione’s hands, “but if he’s snubs you, tell him that there are boys who would be proud to say they love you, tell him their names, tell him about Cormac, about Krum, about Weasley, about that Ravenclaw that’s always eyeing you—"

“Who?”

“Goldstein Granger, honestly—tell him that when we graduate you won’t even remember his name, doesn’t matter how the lie taste in your mouth.”

Hermione nods and smiles shakily, Pansy groans and pull her towards a hug. “Go after him, no matter what Granger. You need to go after him, so you can save him.” she whispers in her ear and pulls away. “Don’t let both of your stubbornness keep you from being happy. Now go on, steal my boyfriend.” 

The trio smile at each other and then all laugh and Hermione knows her friendships inside the Gryffindor Tower are crumbling but she’s so glad she has these girls, she has her little Slytherin pack.


	33. Thirty Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!   
> Again, thank you for the lovely comments! I will try to reply them this week!   
> I hope you enjoy this one as well

**December 20th, 1996. Slughorn’s Office. Day 775**

Cormac is horrible. Hermione doesn’t think she can put up with him much longer and she’s so glad when Harry calls for her.

“What’s happened to you?” Harry asks and Hermione blushes, she knows she looks disheveled, having just ran away from Cormac’s many hands and way too close mouth.

“Oh, I’ve just escaped—I mean, I’ve just left Cormac.” Hermione explains, Harry keeps looking at her questioningly, “he pulled me under a mistletoe.” Hermione adds.

“Serves you right for coming with him.” Harry says, severely, Hermione mostly ignores him. It’s been almost an hour of this and no sign of Draco, she keeps looking around for a sign of him. Or Cormac.

“Yes, he’s terrible, can you believe he hasn’t asked a single thing about me? I mean, he asked what I liked to do but the moment I opened my mouth I was treated to ‘A Hundred Great Saves Made by Cormac McLaggen’ honestly, it’s been nonstop.”

Hermione looks around again, Harry follows her eyes, “he’s not around here.”

“I know, but—let’s go over there, he’s so tall, his shoulders so broad, perfect for great saves.” She mutters and Harry snorts beside her. “Really, we should have come together, honestly why we didn’t think about that earlier—"

She stops midsentence and she doesn’t care it looks extremely obvious how she runs in Cormac’s direction and smiles sweetly at him the moment she can see Draco’s platinum hair. Hermione will worry about what Harry might think about that later.

“Professor Slughorn,” wheezes Filch, his eyes quivering with the maniacal light of mischief-detection in his eyes, “I discovered this boy lurking in the corridor, he claims to have been invited--”

Hermione’s heart beats furiously on her chest and she’s quick to adjust her hair and dress. Draco finds her pretty fast and for once she’s glad Cormac has a hand around her, because her legs becomes jelly with the onceover Draco’s gives her.

“—He says he was late; did you issue him with an invitation?”

Draco pulls away from Filch’s grip, he looks furious, Hermione wonders if it’s more because of whose hand is on her hips or because he was caught.

“All right, I wasn’t invited! I was trying to crash, happy now?” Draco says angrily, rearranging his dark robes and his dark green tie.

Slughorn and Filch start to argue about Draco’s situation but Hermione isn’t listening, she is too deaf due to the pounding of her heart.

Once she’s over the fact Draco is really here, that he really came, she finally takes a good look at him and her heart aches on how ill Draco looks. Behind the expensive suit and tie, he has shadows under his eyes and a distinctly greyish tinge to his skin.

Draco’s thanking Slughorn’s generosity of letting him stay and Hermione notices Harry acute interest in Draco’s presence: Harry’s watching him warily and she realizes that Harry has noticed as well how sickly Draco looks. 

Draco's face pales even more when Snape begins to lead him away from the party. Harry puts his hand on his pocket and Hermione knows he’s carrying the Cloak, that he’s been carrying it around since the beginning of the term.

Hermione is quickly to detangle herself from Cormac and follow Harry outside. But Harry is quicker, and she loses him once she’s out of the party. 

She wanders around the floor trying to find them, but sighs when she can’t find Harry nor Draco or Snape.

It’s almost half an hour later when Harry comes stumbling in her direction, Cloak disheveled hanging around him. She jumps immediately and they both crash at each other.

“Hermione. What the—"

“What did they say?” She asks.

“What?”

“Harry, I know what you were doing, tell me, what did you hear?”

“I don’t—Hermione, what—"

“Harry, please! Come on! What had Snape to say to Malfoy to have him looking like that?”

“You noticed as well?”

“Of course! Harry, now.”

“Malfoy is doing something, something secret and probably evil. Snape wanted to know what, was trying to offer him help—"

“Be more specific Harry.” Hermione urges and Harry, eager to share everything he has on Draco, complies.

“Snape is worried Malfoy will be expelled, because there’s people that suspects he was the one who attacked Katie, Malfoy says it wasn’t him—he was extremely angry at Snape, snapping at him, Snape tried to use Legillimency on him but Malfoy said he couldn’t, that he knew Occlumency—it was Bellatrix who taught him, Hermione you can’t believe what happened next--”

“Harry.” She presses

“Snape asked what Malfoy was trying to conceal from his master—“ Hermione gulped, her hands shaking on her sides, “said if Malfoy thought he was arrogant enough to believe he could hide that girl from his master and what he thought Voldemort would do if he found out—Hermione, Malfoy _pointed_ his hand at Snape, he threatened him! Said he would destroy Snape if Snape told Voldemort about her. Malfoy swore on it." He says, Hermione's heart hurts, her head spins, "it doesn't make sense Hermione. Why would Voldemort cares about who Malfoy dates? Isn’t Parkinson Slytherin and pure-blood? Only if it’s not her and they are both scheming something to hide whoever this girl is—"

Hermione only stares, she can’t say anything, she can’t believe her ears, she can’t believe Draco would defy Snape that way, would go lengths to learn Occlumency to hide her from Voldemort, she can’t believe Harry has seen through their farce faster than she did.

“—Anyway, Snape scowled, called Malfoy stupid and dumb, offered to help Malfoy to whatever he must do, Malfoy accused him of trying to steal his glory, Snape said he made an Unbreakable Vow with Malfoy’s mother, whatever that is, that he promised her to help him. Malfoy wouldn’t listen, said he had a plan, he knew what to do— Crabbe and Goyle are helping him with whatever he’s doing—"

Hermione thanked the dark corridor that kept Harry from noticing the tears brimming in her eyes. She just hoped her ragged breath wouldn’t give her away.

“—Snape also said Malfoy was foolish to come to the party, said, ‘how can you focus on what you are supposed to do if you use your spare time to stalk that girl,’ Snape almost said her name but Malfoy snarled, ‘don’t you dare say her name, don’t you dare’. Hermione I was right all along, Malfoy said how stupid it was to take Defense Against the Dark Arts, how it was all an act, Snape said an act was important, he’s with them. Snape is still with Voldemort, asked where he would be if not for acting. Malfoy is one of them as well Hermione, I told you.”

Her mind races, Pansy words now make sense.

_Go after him, no matter what Granger, you need to go after him, so you can save him._

Did all of them know? Was it really true? Was Draco really a Death Eater now? Harry wouldn’t lie, Harry wasn’t a liar. There wasn’t a single dishonest bone in his body. But no, Draco couldn’t be, he was only sixteen. Voldemort had the best dark wizards and witches with him, what he’d want with Draco? There’s must be some mistake, some misunderstanding.

What Hermione was supposed to do? Does she go after him? 

_You need to go after him, so you can save him._

Was it blind loyalty? The truth in front of Hermione’s face all along and the girl simply refusing to see because it was Draco. Draco the boy whom she was in love with, Draco the boy who begged her to warn Harry about the third task, Draco the boy who broke down in sobs on her lap, Draco the boy who was so angry with Umbridge for what she did to Hermione. 

She couldn’t believe that her Draco would join Voldemort, not after all that happened between her and him, not after all those nights together giggling and wrapped in each other. She would hold to that Draco, clutch desperately at the kind, caring and good Draco for as long as she could.

But for that, she needed to find him. She needed to get to him before he slipped through her fingers.

“I got to go Harry.”

“What? Where? We need to tell Ron about this!”

“We are leaving tomorrow! I need to find something on the library before we leave.” Hermione lied hastily,

“What? Hermione—"

“I will meet you later, Harry, really, I need to go.”

“Take my Cloak, so you won’t get caught.” Harry offered, and she quickly grabbed it from him and went the way Harry had come.

 

**December 21st, 1996. The Astronomy Tower. Day 776**

It was on the early mornings when she found him. She had looked everywhere they used to hang: the empty classrooms, the alcove they talked for hours, and the tapestry they used to make out. She found him when she was coming back from the wooden bridge; she looked up to the skies and found him up in the Astronomy Tower. Hermione couldn’t see his face from where she was, she couldn’t even be sure it was him, but given the circumstances, it couldn’t be anyone else.

Hermione takes the Cloak off before she climbs the stairs to where he is, so he can know is her who’s coming.

“You look gorgeous.” It's the first thing he says to her. Hermione stays put, she shivers a little because of the way he looks at her and Draco, misunderstanding as cold, walks in her direction, removes his suit and puts around her shoulders even though she can feel the cooling charm he had put. Hermione can’t help but smile and she knows she’s fucked.

“Stay.” She says, and Hermione didn’t plan to say this, not now, not like this, not blurted desperately.

“What?” Draco asks, confusion all over his face.

“Tomorrow. Don’t go to the train. Stay. Please.”

“Why?”

“I’m afraid I will lose you for good if you go.”

“Granger, I—" Draco starts but Hermione interrupts him.

“No, listen to me. I know. Draco, I know. Pansy told me what you are doing, she told me you are trying to protect me.”

“It’s not—I can’t Granger, you don’t know everything, I can’t—"

“I don’t care.” Hermione says and Draco scoffs; “Not now anyway, for now I need you to stay, whatever it is, we can resolve later but now, please, stay.” She doesn't care she's begging. Pansy's words echo in her head.

“How can you possibly want anything from me? After all I did to you this year?” Draco asks, his voice barely louder than a whisper, his eyes never leaving her face and now she understands this, that he must be looking in her mind for her reason and she doesn’t care he’s intruding like that, she wants desperately for him to understand.

“Because I know you. And the things that are happening to you isn’t who you are.” 

“How can you say that? How can you be here, right in front of me, asking me to stay when you still have marks of what I did?”

“Because I’m hopeless, because I don’t regret you, because all I know is that I can’t lose you and it makes me mad knowing that any time I might. Because I remember how we began and how happy it made me.”

“You will never have the life you deserve if I’m in it.”

“You don’t have to be good or to deserve me." She says, takes a deep breath, "You only need to answer me one thing: are we nothing?”

“We never were.”

And that’s the only thing she needs now. To know, for sure that she isn’t alone in this, that yes, Draco Malfoy loves her, that he cares and whatever is going on, she can deal with later, she will think of something.

She smiles sadly, “That’s all I care right now, because as long as you remember what we are, you remember who you are and who you are, have every piece of me.”

“Granger—I can’t put you in danger, I can’t risk you by being selfish.” Draco looks down for the first time, and whispers, “I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t, whatever happens, I promise you.” Hermione says, and Draco looks away, to the lake below them stretching to the mountains far away, the sun rising in the middle of it all.

“Stay.” Hermione says again, “Two weeks, two weeks of only us, of nothing more than the castle walls.”

“Two weeks.” Draco agrees, “But—Promise me Granger, two weeks and then—"

“Draco, no, I—" she begins, desperation on her voice. Draco removes her hand from his arm and puts it around his neck; she automatically tangles her fingers in his hair.

“We talk. Two weeks of the castle walls and then we talk, promise me.”

“Ok.” Hermione says, holding tight to his neck, trying to anchor him in that moment.

 

**December 22nd, 1996. Courtyard. Day 777**

Hermione thought it would be harder to escape from her friends this morning, but with a pang in her heart she realizes how much she lost this year. Ginny didn’t ask for her, the girl went straight to sit with Dean and a couple of friends on her year; Harry, having been grabbed by Ron to sit together in a compartment, promptly muttered sorry in her direction, having thought she wouldn’t want to sit with them. So, she just said she was going to find another compartment, turned around and left the train completely.

She can see him leaning in one of the archways of the courtyard, dressed in sweatpants Hermione is sure that belongs to Blaise, and a black sweater. Hermione drags her loosely packed bag and with trembling hands and a hammering heart, in his direction.

Two weeks of the castle walls, two weeks without any of what was going on in the real world. Two weeks of them. 

Hermione was equally excited and scared.

She stops beside him, leaning on the other side of the archway and buries herself in her oversized jumper, she thinks it belongs to Harry, it smells like him and she smiles on the fabric.

Draco holds one of the sleeves and pulls her towards him, resting an arm around her shoulders. Hermione snuggles on his chest and sighs contently.

“You smell like men.” Draco mutters on her head.

“It’s Harry’s.” Hermione replies and Draco groans, “it’s comfy.”

“It’s ugly.” Hermione snorts and then smiles, she can feel his smile pressing on the side of her head.

“I like that one of yours from that Quidditch team.” 

“Forget it, it’s my favorite, I’m not giving I to you,” it’s his reply but it feels empty, so she only snuggles closer to him, “who else is staying?”

“A first year Slytherin and two third-year Hufflepuffs,”

“Shit, we will have to dinner all together tomorrow, I can’t think of something more unpleasant.”

“Don’t tell me, during third year, it was only Harry, Ron and I plus three others, it was awkward as hell.”

“Do you think we could miss it?”

“It will be only for a day and Dumbledore asks us to hang one last ornament on the Christmas tree--”

“I can’t wait.” Draco replies sarcastically, and she nudges him.

“Come on, let’s get out of the cold. Want to visit the Gryffindor Tower?”

“No.”

“Let’s go.” Hermione replies anyway and pulls him towards the entrance. 

Draco complains all the seven floors to the Tower, snarls at the Fat Lady, who, indignity, almost refuses to open for Hermione, and scrunches his nose once he’s inside.

“It’s so red… And gold. There’s so many gold in this room I think I’m getting ill.”

“Oh, please, as if the Dungeons aren’t just as bad with all the green.” Hermione replies, but she’s smiling.

Draco is here, in one of her favorite places, the one she calls home the most. He’s here, with her and they are going to just… be. 

Hermione hadn’t felt this kind of contempt in a long time.

Draco looks around with a scrunched nose, but his eyes betray him, and she can see he’s amazed. He looks at the fireplace, the squashy armchairs with thick scarlet blankets, and the windows with views of the ground, the golden chandelier that makes the light a warm golden.

“It feels warmer, homier than ours but, it looks much more crowded.”

“Come here,” Hermione pulls him towards one of the armchairs, the one she always favors to read, because of the proximity to the fireplace and there's a torn slot in the cushion which she loves to tuck her socked feet inside.

Draco’s quick to notice and smiles warmly at her, “you and your slots” he says fondly and sits down on the armchair, clashing violently with everything around him. Draco pulls her on his lap and she folds herself to fit and tucks one foot inside the cushion.

“I missed you,” she confesses quietly, “I kept seeing things I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t.”

“I missed you too.” Hermione kisses under his eyes, over the purplish shadows and rests her head on the crook of his neck, “I tried so hard to hide how you make me feel and it made me so angry to know that I couldn’t.”

“I’m sorry”

“Don’t be. I was scared, I—Granger, you must understand that I wasn’t raised to believe in—“ he sighs, “I believe that when you—“ he sighs again and Hermione can’t almost hear him because of the thumping of his chest, “and that person—too, in return, you're uniquely vulnerable, you’ve shown a weakness. They have a power to hurt you that's like nothing else.”

Hermione doesn’t care he can’t even say the word out loud, that only thinking of it makes him shake. She can say it for the both of them.

“But Draco, to love at all is to be vulnerable, it doesn’t have to be a person,” she begins, untucking her face from his neck and caressing his cheek with her thumb, “if you love anything, your heart will be wrung and possibly broken, but that’s who we are, we are humans, we are supposed to feel, we are supposed to love and hate and grieve. If we lock it all up, if we bury it, we are missing the entire point. We need to break and be destroyed, so we can build ourselves again and be destroyed again. That’s humanity, that’s being alive. If we extinguish it, we stop being humans.”

“I need you to keep remembering me how to feel.”

_You need to save him._

“I promise you.”

They stay quiet for a while; just enjoying each other’s company after having spent so long apart, Draco ran lazy fingers on her hair and she keeps her head on his chest, her fingers curled on his jumper. It is Draco who spoke first.

“Were you really going out with McLaggen?” Draco asks, Hermione notices how he’s trying to seem unperturbed by it, but she’s too close to not notice the moment his voice cracks.

“Of course not, he’s awful. It was Pansy’s idea—we had a plan,” Hermione says sheepishly and Draco chuckles.

“Oh yeah? And what was that plan of yours?” Draco asks, amused.

“To make you jealous enough to stop being an asshole.” Hermione explains and he chuckles again. “That conversation at Transfiguration was entirely for you to hear, then Pansy and Daphne helped me get ready for the party, Pansy said she’d brag about how nice I was once she was back at the dungeons, to try make you go after me.”

“It was a ridiculous plan.”

“I think it was way better than yours.”

“You are right, I’m sorry for hurting you so much, I wouldn’t have if I—"

“I know Draco, but you could have just told me you know, just finish things off instead of acting like an asshole.”

“But I don’t know how to not be an asshole when you’re not around, it’s like you are 80% of my self-control.”

“And the other 20%?”

“It’s Blaise, but he’s not talking to me anymore, so it’s been hard.”

“You are so stupid.”

“You have such nice things to say to me, I’m very impressed.” Draco jokes and Hermione chuckles.

“I just can’t believe you threw my hard work of making you half good to waste.” They both laugh at that and he smacks a kiss on her forehead.

“You know, the last part of your plan, it wasn’t necessary, the moment I heard you were going with that moron, I was already thinking of a way to be there.”

“Pansy said that.”

“Well, Pansy does know me best after all.”

“You are such a jerk.” Hermione shoves his chest playfully and Draco only holds her closer, “why I put up with you, honestly, I have no idea.”

“And I don’t want you ever finding out.” It’s Draco’s reply and Hermione can’t keep from looking at his face any longer.

She finds his eyes and even with how sickly he looks, there’s a spark in them, the specs of blue are shining, the curve of his lips isn’t mocking or sarcastic for once. Draco’s still so beautiful to her and she loves him so much.

“Granger, can I kiss you?” Draco asks quietly, both of his hands holding her cheeks and Hermione nods.

He’s careful on leaning in, taking his time to let her change her mind, but she won’t, she misses kissing him like that, softly, full of emotion and adoration.

When his lips touch hers, there’s not a single doubt on her about how much all of this is worth, how much he’s worth it. It starts slow, just brushing lips, but after Draco lets a loud sigh, he licks her lower lip and she opens her mouth slightly, he captures her lower lip on his and sucks softly, Hermione moans lowly and she parts his mouth with her tongue.

They kiss like that for a long time, never faster than that, never escalating from just kissing. She’s completely content: here on Draco’s lap, his hands on her cheek, and his mouth on hers. Hermione notices the slowly growing bulge on his sweatpants, but he doesn’t acknowledge it, so she doesn’t either. 

Hermione knows they will have to talk about what happened that night sometime before the two weeks, so she’s content on just kissing for now.

They kiss for what seem like hours, stopping only to breathe but even then, they remain close, their noses touching, and arms wrapped, they only stop when Draco’s arousal is too much for him to ignore.

“I think we should probably go to sleep.” Draco says and Hermione nods, getting up from his lap on shaking legs. He gets up as well and tries to hide his erection, but he’s only wearing sweatpants and he can’t do anything about it.

“I don’t want to sleep alone.” Hermione whispers when he starts to make way to the door.

“I can’t sleep in here, I can’t go to your dorm and I sure as hell am not sleeping on Potter’s or Weasley’s bed,” he says, but he’s looking at her like she’s waiting for her to decide.

“We could go to the Room of Requirement.” Hermione proposes, and he offers her a hand, she’s quick to hold it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo it's only me who thinks it's fitting how their Christmas ended up falling close to ours? Anyway, I will try my best to update next week, but since it's the holidays I give no guarantees.


	34. Thirty Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! sorry for the delay, got caught up in things after the holidays! I hope you enjoy this one as well. I think we have 12 to 15 more chapters to go, if everything goes to plan.

**December 24th, 1996. The Great Hall. Day 778**

Draco and Hermione separated after leaving the Room, they both needed to shower and change out of their clothes. Hermione couldn’t help the soft smile she had on her face all the way to the Gryffindor Tower; she didn’t even care about the look the Fat Lady gave her when she opened the passage. 

Yesterday was almost perfect, the Room had made a big and comfortable bed, with stacks of books around and the entire room smelled of spring. They spent the entire day inside, only leaving so they could grab food in the kitchens; they mostly made out, lazily remembering the fit of their bodies together. Draco and Hermione slept on their undies, the warmth of their bodies pressed together, and the soft blanket was enough. Draco’s arms didn’t leave her waist the entire night and she woke up with her head on his chest.

It was almost eight when she arrived at the Great Hall for breakfast and she immediately stopped in a halt when she saw the four tables already pushed back and instead a single one was in the middle. 

They would have an entire day of awkward meals.

Dumbledore sat in the middle, with McGonagall and Snape on each side of him; on McGonagall’s other side was Sprout, Madam Pince and Madam Hooch at the end. On Snape’s other side sat Slughorn, Trelawney and Madam Pomphrey. The seats in front of Dumbledore, McGonagall and Snape were still empty. When Hermione started moving again, the last two remaining students arrived from the lateral entrances and she noticed Draco stilling as well. The three walked towards the others and Hermione sat in front of McGonagall, with the two Hufflepuffs on her right side and Hagrid by the end. Draco pushed the first year to sit in front of Snape and took the seat in front of Dumbledore to himself. At the other side of the Slytherin first year sat Flitwick, Professor Vector and Filch. 

“Welcome you,” Dumbledore greets, “we were just waiting for you to start.” He says with a smile and seconds later the food appears in front of all of them. Hermione waits for the professors to fill their plates with food before picking anything, Draco goes for the food without a second to spare, his expression impassive, but Hermione notices his leg jumping up and down on her side.

Slughorn is the first to start a conversation, with Trelawney from all people, Madam Pince and Professor Sprout talk about the new Herbology books that arrived at the library. Dumbledore smiles from one face to another, seeming happy to be sitting in such awkward breakfast.

Hermione is quick to notice McGonagall’s eyes going furtively from her to Draco, so she focuses on her food, Draco seems to have noticed as well, because he pointedly ignores McGonagall side of the table, striking a conversation with the first-year.

“So, Lucas and Warren, what had you two staying for Christmas?” Dumbledore asks, his blue eyes twinkling behind his half-moon spectacles.

The two third-years look at each other before answering, clearly don’t expecting Dumbledore to know their names. Hermione sure didn’t.

“My parents work for the Beast Division at the Ministry; the giants are leaving the mountains and they are busy trying to keep the giants from coming in contact with Muggles” Warren explains.

“I heard about that.” Slughorn says. “All beasts are acting out, more and more werewolves have been spotted by daylight, as well.”

“We all know why,” Dumbledore says and Hermione can feel Draco tensing up beside her, she slides her leg in his direction and presses her knee against his thigh.

“My parents are muggle.” Lucas says when the attention turns back to him, “they know what is going on, they thought I was safer in the castle.” The boy shrugs and Dumbledore smiles.

“Right they are, there’s no place safer than Hogwarts! Oh, Miss Granger, I’ve noticed you haven’t touched your doughnut, do you mind?” He asks lightly, and before she can even reply, he's already levitating her doughnut with a twist of his finger.

“I thought you were going home Mr. Malfoy, I’m sure Narcissa must be feeling very alone in that mansion right now.” Professor McGonagall says, and Draco presses his thigh harder against Hermione’s knee. Everyone can notice the accusatory tone in her voice.

“I was.” Draco replies when he looks at her, his face schooled to keep anything from showing, “but then mother sent a letter saying we would have houseguests and I realized it was going to be too crowded for my tastes.” He explains.

“I see.”

McGonagall doesn't ask Hermione why she stayed, because she already knows.

From there, the breakfast went less awkward than Hermione thought possible, the professors talked to each other, Hagrid’s booming voice kept interrupting most of the conversation, because he decided to talk with Slughorn, who was on the other side of the table. Hermione was even able to relax a little and enjoy her breakfast, Draco remained a little tense, but he didn’t show it. He talked to Flitwick from behind the first year and pointedly ignored Professor Snape heavy stare.

By the time she and Madam Pince started a conversation about books, Draco’s right hand was on her knee under the table. It hadn’t taken long for Draco and Hermione to relax around each other, the nice and comforting day they had yesterday and having slept on each other’s arms was more than enough to have them in their usual magnetic relationship: highly attuned to each other and moving around each other easily as they reached for their food. So, Hermione didn’t think twice before touching Draco’s wrist with her knuckles to get his attention, he turned immediately.

“Yeah?” Draco asked, his voice low but noticeably soft.

“Pass me a croissant please?” Hermione asks, returning the tone. The plate is out of her reach and she’s been eyeing the one Draco’s eating for minutes and there’s only two left.

“You can’t eat walnuts so, the cinnamon one?” Draco asks, and Hermione makes a face. “Mine is hazelnut, you can have it.” Draco says in a small voice and she smiles at him, he shakes his head fondly and passes the half-eaten croissant to her.

Hermione vaguely notices a choking sound from across the table and follow the sound to find McGonagall watching her with a narrowed look and thin lips. Hermione blushes and looks away.

Draco notices the way she tenses and his hand on her knee becomes equal parts territorial and protective. He stares Professor McGonagall down, dares her to say something and Hermione realizes that Draco, just like her, knows the professors know about them. Damn the talking portraits and the ghosts.

When it’s over, the younger students are quick to scatter, and Hermione almost runs out of the Great Hall, but she stops herself just in time. She can’t hear Draco’s footsteps behind her, so she doesn’t look back, not wanting to find McGonagall’s eyes again.

 

**December 24th, 1996. The Grounds. Day 778**

Draco finds her again during lunch, McGonagall had stopped Hermione to talk about more advanced Transfiguration and Hermione was smart enough to keep asking the professor questions and making small talk to keep McGonagall from saying what she really wanted to.

“I was about to ask if you were crazy enough to be sitting on the snow, but I can see you have it figured,” is the first thing Draco says and she looks up from the book she’s reading and smiles at him.

Hermione is sitting on top of her cloak; the snow has melted in a circle around her and she’s only wearing a long-sleeved shirt.

“I brought you food, guessed you wouldn’t want to spend lunch with them again.” Draco offers her the basket and sits down beside her. Hermione scoots so he won’t sit on the snow, “that’s a nice piece of magic you have here.”

“Thanks,” she says and passes him a bowl and a spoon, “you asked Dobby for this?”

“Yes, they are having more than soup back there, but it would be much of trouble to have all that packed.”

“It’s fine.” Hermione replies.

They eat in silence and after, Draco calls Dobby to pick their basked and the dishes.

“What are you reading?”

“Into the Wild,” Hermione shows him the cover, “it’s about a man who after university, leaves everyone and everything and goes to live on the wild. He changes his name, burns all of his money and goes to find the raw experiences nature can bring. It’s about freedom, rediscovers, stripping yourself from everything, leaving the sense of security.”

“What happens in the end?” Draco asks, and Hermione knows by that now that this question means he will want to read it later.

“He dies from starvation.” Hermione says, and Draco looks impressed.

“I thought it would be something like, he returns home because he finds out he can’t live without society. That would be boring.”  
Hermione doesn’t reply, instead rests her head on his chest and turns her book so he can read with her.

 

**December 24th, 1996. Room of Requirement. Day 778**

“We could stay here, ask Dobby to bring something.” Draco mumbles on her naked back, his hands still roaming her sides.

Hermione’s resting her head on her arms over the pillow, while Draco lazily kisses up and down her back.

“It’s Christmas Draco, let’s not spend rolled up in here.” Hermione replies and turns around, Draco gets lost on her breasts for a second or two before looking at her face.

“I can’t think of anything better than stay here tonight and tomorrow, and maybe the rest of the break.”

“The Professors, they will wonder—" Draco rolls his eyes

“Granger, they already know about us, you know that.” 

“And you don’t mind?”

“Obviously, I don’t appreciate Snape trying to butt in and McGonagall glaring at my direction but, they won’t say anything.”

“McGonagall said I’m a very intelligent girl who knows best who to befriend, and that was because of Blaise and Pansy.”

“I’m certain she has plenty to say about us.” Draco says, and Hermione can’t help the smile on her face, “What?”

“Us. I like it, I like us.” Hermione says, blushing.

Draco kiss her forehead, her nose and then her lips, “Let’s get dressed, we have a Christmas dinner to attend.”

 

**December 24th, 1996. The Great Hall. Day 778**

They enter the hall together, when Hermione notices the only people already sat are Dumbledore, the head of houses and a few professors, she shifts closer to him, Draco smirks in her direction, but doesn't say anything.

Professor McGonagall looks particularly uncomfortable with the two of them, but Draco and Hermione had decided to ignore them all in favor of enjoying the Christmas feast.

Soon enough the other students and rest of the professors arrived, Hermione notices Hagrid’s absence and is quick to ask about it.

“He’s spending it with his brother, it’s a family holiday after all.” McGonagall replies heatedly and Draco, the jerk, has to stiff a chuckle.

With Hagrid gone, Hermione can talk to Draco as much as she wanted, because she knows the half-giant still is blissfully unaware and Hermione hopes to maintain that way because Hagrid, as much as she cares for him, has a big mouth and a particular distaste for Draco.

Hermione and Draco exchange Christmas stories, what they did on past years and Hermione tells him muggle Christmas carols and muggle traditions. Draco snorts when she tells him she got stuck on the chimney of her house when she was five because she wanted to prove to her parents Father Christmas wasn’t real and they were stupid to be so old and still believe in it.

“Mum was so mad I ruined the new dress, she refused to let me change, imagine me, five years old, hair wide, face and dress smeared with coal sitting on the table eating roast turkey.”

“I can see it perfectly; the wide hair is extremely easy to picture.” 

“Idiot.” Hermione mutters and he laughs again, Dumbledore’s eyes spark in their direction and something twists inside of her.

She realizes he knows, not only about them, but also about Draco. Hermione steals a glance in Snape’s direction and for the first time, she’s certain of Snape’s loyalty. Snape has told Dumbledore everything and he’s only pretending to offer Draco help, to keep an eye on him and report to Dumbledore. 

Whatever Draco has to do, he’s really on it alone and it’s something dangerous, if it had Narcissa making an Unbreakable Vow with Snape to protect her son.

But if Dumbledore knows, why hasn’t he done anything? Why hadn’t he tried to stop Draco? Is because he knows Draco will fail? And if that’s the reason, he will just let him die?

“Hey, you okay?” Draco asks worriedly, his hand on her arm and Hermione snaps her attention back to him, but not before noticing the small smile that creeps on Dumbledore’s face.

Realization dawns on her and Hermione can only stare at Draco, dumbfounded: Dumbledore is counting on their relationship to make Draco fail, that’s why he’s not doing anything, that’s why McGonagall looks extremely displeased. The only behavior that doesn’t add up is Snape’s.

“I—" she doesn’t know what to say, Hermione puts one hand over his and squeezes, “yes, just got lost in thought.” Hermione says even though she knows Draco doesn’t believe in her.

 _Not here, not now please_. Hermione screams in her head and she hopes Draco understands.

“Always so much going on in there,” it’s his reply and she sighs relieved.

Hermione lets go of his hand the same moment Draco lets go of her arm and she curls her hand on the hem of his sweatshirt, not wanting to let him go yet.

She’s terrified for him, she’s terrified for what he has to do that had him looking deathly sick and his mother making someone else to swear protection. But most of all, she’s terrified of failing herself, of not being enough to make him stop, to protect him.

Hermione was right when she said she’s fears Draco: there’s nothing she’s more terrified of than losing him.

Draco, in the meanwhile, tries his best to distract her, telling her about the presents his parents gave him, the places he visited during the summer holidays, she sucks it all up, desperately to calm her heart down.

“We have this island in Greece, it’s so beautiful, and they say it once belonged to Menelaus’ daughter—"

“Shut up,” Hermione snorts and Draco finally smiles, “you are so full of shit.”

“What? You don’t believe my family has a Greek island?”

“I’m sure they have even two, but I highly doubt you have the one that has my name.”

“Actually, it’s called Ermioni and—"

“You are ridiculous.”

“Well, at least I now know you are really listening to me and I got you smiling again.”

 _God, I love you_ , Hermione thinks and her grip on his sweatshirt tightens. Hermione wants to cry over how cruel the world must be to put Draco in her life at such a wrong time.

Draco moves on to another property of his family and he tells her about this mansion in Italy in a way that has Hermione thinking Draco has every intention on showing her personally one day and she clutches at the idea as hard as she clutches on his sweatshirt.

After dinner, Dumbledore gathers all of them near the huge tree on the corner of the Hall, where he hands all of them a simple ornament and urges them to turn it into something more beautiful and to put on the tree.

There’s many decorative items spread on the floor: ribbons in Christmas colors and Hogwarts colors, sequins, little snow-mans and Christmas trees. Hermione helps the Hufflepuff boys transfigure theirs and she excitedly decorates her ornament. 

After fifteen minutes of hovering, the Slytherin first year asks for Hermione’s help and she sets in helping him as well. Draco takes longer to stop hovering before finally sitting on the floor with them, he doesn’t decorate his, but Hermione can see him watching fondly across from her.

Hermione turns her ball half gold and half silver, glues two ribbons where the halves meet, the green one in the silver half and the red one in the golden. She puts small trees all around the silver half and snow-mans on the golden.

“What do you think?” She asks Draco.

Draco is looking at her softly as he reaches to remove a sequin from her cheek and a ribbon stuck in her hair, “you are a mess, Granger” Draco laughs, “and you did a good job, nice colors.” He’s smirking now and she almost flings the thing on him, instead she flings the remaining ribbons on his face and laughs at him spluttering green ribbons from his mouth.

The other students are too focused on their work to pay attention to them and both of them can’t find in them to care about the professors, so when Draco nudges one of the Hufflepuff boys out of her side, she scoots closer and Draco wraps an arm on her waist.

When they are all finished, Dumbledore waves the remaining things away and they hang their ornaments.

“Come on Draco, be a dear and help me hang mine over there.”

“You have a wand Granger and there’s a spot right there where you can perfectly reach.”

“Well, I want to do this without magic just like I used to do back home, is tradition, family tradition.” Hermione says and they both grin at each other.

“So, you hang this where you can reach or give to me and I can hang this as high as I can.”

“No. I want to put in there,” she points again to the spot between the gold lightening shaped ornament and the orange stocking. It reminds her of her boys.

“You are being difficult for no reason Granger, look at the size of this tree.”

“Draco, come on!”

“I can’t reach! And your stubborn ass doesn’t want to use magic, so what do you expect me to do?”

“Lift me!”

“You are no feather Granger.”

“Draco.” She narrows her eyes.

“Merlin, you are impossible, why I put up with you is beyond me.” Draco complains, saying the same thing she said the night before, but moves closer to her anyway.

“I make you half-good remember?” Hermione smiles and she needs to hold onto Draco’s forearms to keep standing from the way he’s looking at her.

Because Draco looks at her like she’s the most precious thing to him and Hermione can’t breathe properly since she woke up from that hospital bed with Draco on top of her crying on her hair, but every time she sees him this close and looking at her like that, it’s like she’s closer to the surface, closer to everything she’s always wanted but at the same time she’s waiting for the wave to crash down on her and leave her alone on the shore.

“What?” Draco whispers, 

_I love you_ , Hermione thinks, “Lift me.”

He does, Hermione holds on his shoulder when he raises her by the hips and she twists so she can hang her ornament where she wants. When she’s done, she laces her fingers on his nape and he pulls her down and Hermione needs to physically put distance between them or else she will kiss him right here.

It’s just the heads of the students present, Dumbledore and Madam Pince now, and Hermione knows they are looking, McGonagall has been looking the entire night, Dumbledore keeps sending creepy smiles in their direction and Snape looks particularly pained to have to watch them.

“Professor Sprout, can Stuart room with us? Put his presents on our tree so he won’t be alone on Christmas morning!” One of the Hufflepuffs boy ask and Hermione ignores the way Professor Sprout pointedly look in Draco’s direction before replying.

The Slytherin boy is looking both eager and pleased to not have to spend the night alone and Hermione smiles at this small inter-house interaction.

“I can't see why not. Snape, could the boy sleep in the Basement with my boys?”

“Certainly. I will have your presents moved Mr. Atkinson.” The three boys cheer, and Snape flinches at the happiness.

They are quick to scatter after having received their permission, and all attention turns back to Draco and Hermione. Her heart skips at beat when Draco pulls her closer under their scrutiny.

“And under which tree am I supposed to put your presents Miss Granger?” McGonagall asks and Hermione blushes terribly.

A lot happen between McGonagall’s question and Hermione’s reply: Professor Sprout excuses herself to check on the boys, Madam Pince and Professor Flitwick start a loud conversation about a charm they could use to keep the library books from being damaged while they slowly head away, Dumbledore hums while eating his lemon cheesecake and Snape turns around and leaves, finally having had enough of them.

“You can put them under the tree in the Dungeons next to mine.” Draco replies before she can find her voice and Hermione blushes harder.

“Miss Granger, please be sensible, you can’t possibly think--” 

“Professor, while I respect you, admire your work and think highly of your words, I’m afraid you are out of line in this matter.”

“He’s not right for you Hermione.” McGonagall says and it’s clear how she has so much more to say and that not everything will be politely said.

“If you excuse us, we will retire now.” Hermione says and tugs Draco’s tense body towards the side door.

“You must know he’s using you Hermione!” McGonagall’s tone is urgent now, “you go against everything he believes in, he’s going to hurt you!”

Hermione tries to keep her hold on Draco’s sleeve but she’s too late and he’s already turning back and going in McGonagall’s direction.

Dumbledore stops pretending he’s not paying attention and raises a single eyebrow towards Draco.

“You listen here, you old hag—"

“Draco!”

“You don’t know me, you think you know everything about me because of my surname by guess what, you are wrong! You are so bloody wrong.” Draco snarls and Hermione gapes at the scene unfolding in front of her.

McGonagall doesn’t even flinch at his explosion, she remains stoic and Hermione has shivers all over of how fierce McGonagall looks.

“I know exactly who you are Draco Malfoy.”

“You don’t.” Draco sneers and then laughs that terrible, mean laugh of his. “You know my surname and you think you know me, but guess what, I don’t care, if all I am is my surname, I’d give it up for her.”

Hermione gasps and Dumbledore looks satisfied and Hermione feels that twist in her stomach again.

“But you didn’t.” McGonagall says daringly and Draco flinches, “and even if I find this little piece of yours quite clever, I find it fascinating how after six years, you just decided she’s a person.”

Draco has his back to Hermione, but she doesn’t need to see him to know exactly what expression is on his face when he laughs again and shakes his head.

“Granger, tell her who kissed whom first” Draco calls and Hermione sighs,

“Draco—"

“And please, do tell who was the one who stubbornly sat down in my table day after day at the library because she wanted to escape Krum and his fans.”

That has McGonagall attention; she widens her eyes in surprise and looks away from Draco to find her answer in Hermione, who just nods.

“I don’t have to explain shit to you,” he sneers, “but I will let you know that we have been together for over a year and that we’ve been friends since the Yule Ball, so try wrapping your bigoted head around it before you say anymore shit about me and her.”

Draco turns around and it’s him who tugs her away from the Great Hall this time.

“You still don’t deserve even half of her.” McGonagall calls and Draco ignores it.

 

**December 24th, 1996. The Slytherin Dungeon. Day 778**

“Hey, hey, Draco, look at me.” Hermione says, she has both hands on his face, Draco’s eyes are glassed and he’s fuming.

“She had no fucking right, she—"

“Draco, look at me.”

“—I’m not using you, I wouldn’t, that hag—"

“Sweetheart, look at me.” Hermione tries again.

“What? Did you just—"

“I know you wouldn’t. Draco, I know. I know you.” She says, ignoring how Draco caught on that nickname she just slipped.

“And that fool, just stop there, looking extremely pleased with himself—"

“Draco please, ignore them, its Christmas, let’s just go to bed ok? I miss your bed.”

He looks at her, he’s smiling at little, but she can still see the anger in his eyes, “and I miss you in it.”

“So, let’s go, okay?”

“Say that again.”

“What? I miss your bed?”

“No, the other thing.”

She looks at him for a while, before blushing and looking down, “Sweetheart, let’s go to bed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! I hope that 2020 brings everything that you want and wish for!


	35. Thirty Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, sorry for the delay!! I hope you enjoy this chapter as well.

**December 25th, 1996. Slytherin Dungeon. Day 779**

Despite everything that happened last night, their presents are under the tree in the dungeons. Hermione feels lightweight when the image of both of them in a spacious living room, a beautiful Christmas tree on the side and presents carefully wrapped under it crosses her mind, she can even hear kids’ laughter somewhere. Something stings inside of her, because she knows the impossibility of it all.

She’s only seventeen but she wants this, she wants him, and it scares the life out of her. 

“That’s an awful lot of presents for only one person.” Draco says when he comes down the stairs and meets her beside the tree.

“It’s from Harry and the Weasleys.” She says, can’t help but grin at it; she misses them and their loud affairs.

Draco winks at her when he passes, and she doesn’t regret staying in Hogwarts.

“This one is from Lupin.” Draco hands one, rectangular shaped and book-shaped, “Do you keep in touch with all of our former teachers?”

“You don’t? I’m sure you will find something from Umbridge in here, something equally horrendous and perverse.” Hermione jokes as she walks towards him and flops down on his lap, Draco merely rolls his eyes at her.

Hermione opens her present and she’s right, it’s a book, about healing spells from beasts’ attacks. Draco is opening one too; it’s a dress shirt, which look as expensive as it feels when he shows her.

“It’s from Blaise.”

“He sent a card with it, look how lovely.” Hermione chuckles when she reads, _“it says, you are a jerk but still, merry Christmas”_

“He’s got a way with words. Blaise sent you something as well, here.” Draco hands her the small package and goes to open another one of his. Hermione can see him looking at hers from the corner of his eyes.

It’s a new set of quills and ink, all of them in different colors, the quills have a silver design Hermione can’t make out and it looks ridiculous expensive for a quill, the feathers are dark green with black ends.

“He’s stupid with money.” Draco says when he notices her expression, “he is loaded and has nothing to spend with.”

“And you aren’t?”

“It’s not my money yet, not until June, I can’t spend it as I want. Blaise can, he’s the only men in his name, every time his mother widows she goes back to Zabini and adds more to his vault.”

Hermione doesn’t reply, she’s never been poor, her parents never struggled with money and making ends meet, but she wouldn’t consider herself rich either, to the point of not caring about how much she spends.

They move through presents fast, she has four new books from Harry, Lupin, Theo and Tonks, candies from Ron, a t-shirt from Ginny, a new Molly sweater, this time red and with H embroiled in white, an special box from Fred and George’s shop, a summer dress from Daphne and an lacy bra and knickers from Pansy which Hermione had gone red from head to toe when she saw it and quickly hid it from Draco.

Draco had received a new dark suit and an extremely beautiful wristwatch from his mother, cufflinks from Theo, a tie from Daphne, another dress shirt from Pansy and a book about Occlumency from Snape.

“I’m not the only one receiving gifts from Professors.” Hermione says when she catches sight of the Potions Master name.

“He’s my godfather as well,” Draco says and Hermione eyes widen.

“I didn’t know.”

“Yeah, father and he were friends back then,” Draco says with a slight discomfort, “they had many shared views on matters of life.” He finishes sarcastically, and Hermione knows exactly was matters of life they bonded over.

“Can I read after? I find Occlumency quite interesting.”

“Yeah, sure and Granger?” He says and Hermione notices a faint blush on his cheeks, “I got something for you.”

“What? No! I didn’t get you anything!”

With everything that happened this semester, Hermione hadn’t even thought about getting Draco something, or all the Slytherins. She would have to get something from Hogsmeade before they returned.

“It’s fine. It’s just—I had with me since the term started—Er, I didn’t buy it.” The blush on his face is more prominent now and Hermione finds herself blushing as well. He had it with him since the term started. She looks at him, her eyes wide and heart pounding. She thinks back on these past few months, how terrible he was to her and how she believed he never cared, not at all, but _he had it since the term started_ , he probably brought it with him. 

Draco removes a slim rectangular box from his pocket, it’s black and simple, it doesn’t look new, in fact, it looks pretty ancient. He opens it and Hermione gasps at the necklace inside.

“God, Draco, it’s beautiful!” Her eyes fill with tears and she can feel her chest expanding with love.

“Can I put in you?” Draco asks, uncertain.

Hermione notices his shaking hands when he raises the necklace over her neck. The green tourmaline feels warm where it meets her skin, like something is tingling and suddenly she’s hyper aware of Draco in the room: behind her, his legs around hers, wrists touching the back of her neck while he tries to lock it, his breathing on her nape, she swears she can even hear his heartbeat.

She touches the stone, which looks beautiful on its own, shining in a unique green that’s been obviously handcrafted. The pendant that holds the stone is expensive-looking and new, contrasting with the ancient stone, it’s platinum and has small diamonds carved in all its length. The necklace it’s extremely elegant and shouldn’t be used over pajamas pants and a sweatshirt but Hermione doesn’t have in her to remove it any time soon. Despite all the shining stones, it’s not overly glamorous or reflective, like the bracelets he got her last year, which kept reflecting sunlight all the time.

“Draco—it’s—I can’t even--” Hermione doesn’t have the words to explain how much she loved it, how much it feels like she has a part of him with her now wherever she goes.

“Granger,” Draco whispers, his breath hot on her ear and she feels the hairs on her neck and back standing, “say that thing again.”

“What? Sweetheart?” She asks, her heart going a million per second.

“No, the other one.” His voice is barely louder than a whisper, he sounds small but at the same time there’s awe in his voice, like there’s something going on he can’t quite believe, and Hermione has no idea what happened.

She turns around, wraps both arms around his shoulders, her fingers get buried on his hair and she searches his face for whatever Draco wants her to say.

Hermione can see how he tries to hide the way she makes him feel like he’s more than just his family name, the stuff he’s tried to bury deep in the hollows of his room, in between the empty corridors of Hogwarts and under the tapestries. But they both know that if he let her, she would reach under his skin and stitch the bad parts until he sees the entire universe expanding where his blood flows and her fingers touch his skin.

Suddenly, Hermione knows exactly what he wants her to say and her heart misses several beats with the realization.

“I love you.” Hermione says.

Draco’s smile is blinding, it’s the first one this year that reaches his eyes and the grey in his eyes clears so much she can make the specks of blue easily, it’s the one that crinkles his eyes in the corner and it’s all teeth and happiness.

But it falls quickly, gone in a blink and Hermione misses it already. “I wish I was worth it.” Draco replies quietly, and Hermione shakes her head.

“You are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for.”

“How can you be so sure?” Draco asks, and he sounds lost, he sounds unbelieving, like he can’t see what it is that Hermione sees every time she looks at him.

“Because you are here, because despite all the bad things that are happening to you, you are still the same person I fell in love with, because you are trying so hard to not let the bad things become you.”

“Granger, I’m eternally grateful for the person you see me as. I remember how you were the first person to see me through all my bullshit, who liked me, the me that had nothing to do with the Malfoy name.”

“I still don’t like the Draco Malfoy very much.” Hermione says sheepishly and Draco snorts.

“I don’t like him either. He’s too scared to not be evil but is too weak to fight that fear. I always thought I could never have you, that it wouldn’t be allowed, but I was wrong. This necklace—I was terrified of giving it to you, because it’s magical and it’s so much more than just a necklace.”

“Why?” Hermione asks, Draco’s finger traces the green stone and the pendant, when his finger grazes her skin she shivers. 

“It’s a Malfoy heirloom. It’s been passed through the years to the—" Draco blushes and Hermione follows, understanding where he’s going with this, “Malfoy wives. Not all of them could wear, it hasn’t always been a necklace, and it was a ring when my father gave it to my mother. She couldn’t wear when he gave it to her, so she wasn’t worthy of it later.”

“Why she couldn’t wear it?”

“She didn’t love him then.”

“Oh.” Hermione blushes again; she thinks she’s been blushing this entire morning.

“I know you’ve said it before, and it’s not that I didn’t believe in you then, it’s just, I didn’t believe in love.”

“But you do now?”

“Every time I look at you, I believe a little more” Draco catches a lock of her hair in his finger and wraps around it, “it’s like, the way your brain works and how you look at the world, like you are in love with every piece of it, and it makes me want to love it too. Makes me want to follow you forever.”

“Forever.” Hermione says, barely louder than a whisper.

“I know we always say we only have the castle walls, but sometimes—sometimes, I picture you with your feet bare in that Greek Island, with your huge hair everywhere because of the sea air, I picture you waking up beside me and you are the Minister of Magic and I have to take the kids to school because you threatened me to the couch if I didn’t agree with letting them go to muggle school.” His voice is so soft and so far-away, as if he’s seeing it all right now, in front of him, like he already misses whatever it is that he’s seeing. “I wish I could have a life with you. Instead I can’t give you anything.”

“I don’t care,” she tells him honestly. Draco could fulfill his mission and she wouldn’t regret a second of the time they spent together. She knows in this moment that she would rather have her heart broken than not have this.

That’s the danger in first loves, because you don’t know better than what you feel right now. You believe this is the most you will ever feel, and you can’t believe there’s a world you could live without it. 

So that’s why Hermione decides then, to not overthink everything for the first time in her life, to not think about the consequences and the list of cons in her choice. Just this once, she will love him.

“I will give you everything.” And that would be enough. 

He smiles and his lips meet hers, they both sigh on each other’s mouths, content with the feeling, his hands are soft and slow on her body and she barely feels when he pulls her from the ground and carries her up to his room.

When she’s sprawled on his bed, completely naked with just the necklace on her neck and the bracelet on her wrist, she realizes how completely his she is. How Draco has every single piece of her.

And Draco knows it, knows she is his with his kisses that goes from her neck, to her collarbone, his tongue sliding in the vale between her breasts, his nose, nuzzling on her nipples. Draco claims her entire body with his mouth and his hands, her belly receives the same attention, he kisses the thin trail of feathery hair, bites down on her hipbone, sucks on skin on her left side.

Her legs are trembling when he reaches them, kissing, licking and biting on them, on her thighs and the insides; his hands are soft, but knowing, when he lifts one leg and kiss under her knee, how he keeps kissing the other leg that’s over his shoulder. 

Hermione feels close and they haven’t even begun yet, she just looks at him, eyes wide and pupils blown, her breathing ragged and sweat pooling on her skin.

“You are so beautiful,” he says and his eyes are dark when they meet hers, “and you belong to me, I have made you mine.” Draco lowers his body so they are now chest to chest, “I don't believe that the battle for any woman in any fairy tale you’ve read has been fought harder and more desperately than the battle for you within myself – from the beginning, over and over again, and perhaps forever.”

“I know.” Hermione whispers, completely undone.

When Draco rips open a condom and positions himself on her entrance, she’s more than ready to have him and he glides inside, and Hermione feels that familiar sensation of him inside of her, closer than anyone else has ever been.

They move like they know how, they have their preferences and moves down to a notch; the room is silent but from the sounds of their bodies meeting and the pleasure escaping their lips. Hermione rocks back to meet him halfway and Draco arches his back when she rolls her hips as she raises herself from the bed and he slides impossibly further.

They gasp and grab at each other, hands and lips roaming skin, hair glistened to their foreheads and shoulders. There’s a moment when Hermione think they are one and she has no idea where she begins and where Draco ends, and she comes with a blissful feeling of belonging. 

 

**January 3rd, 1997. Room of Requirement. Day 788**

The two weeks passed in a haze, with late mornings and even later nights, with tangled legs and feet under the covers, with hot chocolate fogging the windows and falling asleep in oversized armchairs, hand-in-hand strolls through the grounds and moonlit walks.

Hermione doesn’t want this to end, doesn’t want to return to her dorm room, doesn’t want to look at Draco and not be able to reach for him. After two weeks of just them, of kind words and soft touches, she doesn’t want to go back to stolen moments and quick touches, but she knows it’s coming. Hermione knows in Draco’s touches that lingers a second too much and in his eyes that watch her as if he doesn’t want to miss a thing, she knows during the nights when he tugs Hermione impossibly closer and hold her the entire night, only falling asleep after he’s sure she’s sleeping.

They are in the big bed the room made for them, the sun is shining through the window and the cold winter breeze is making them shiver from time to time, the train is set to arrive tomorrow before dinner and it’s too soon. Draco traces the freckles on her shoulders, the same he once inked to form the Draco constellation. 

All traces of smiles and happiness are gone from his face and Hermione dreads his next words. She knows what’s coming: two weeks of them and then they talk. That was the deal.

“I can think of thousands of things I rather say then what I have to right now.”

“Then say those things.”

“I can say that you are the only person I ever showed my heart, I can say that the summertime and the butterflies belong to your creation, I can say I’m terrified of what I’d be without you, I can say I don’t imagine a life without you in it. I can say all those things, but it doesn’t change the fact that when I say what I really need to, all of it won’t matter.”

“Then don’t say it.” Hermione whispers, tears already pooling on her eyes.

“I have to. I need you to understand why I did everything I did to you.” Draco says and then sits up on the bed, looks around for her sweater and hands her before getting up from the bed.

“Draco—" Hermione says after she’s fully clothed and up as well.

“You must know by now. You are too intelligent to not have figured it all out yet.” Draco starts in a low voice, looking at a point behind her. “You just don’t want to believe it.”

“No.” Hermione says, because denial is all she has left.

“ _’I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun’_. Yes Granger, I know you heard when I whispered to you that day in St. Mungo’s and I know you’ve known what it means since then.”

“It can’t be,” Hermione cries, “you are not—"

“But I am.” Draco says before she can say the awful, horrible truth. “Since the summer, but you’ve known that, look at me Granger.” Draco says and Hermione realizes she’s been looking at a corner far from him, “You’ve been lying to yourself the entire year.”

“I didn’t want to believe, I didn’t want to think you were capable of—because if you were—"

And she remembers McGonagall words from Christmas, remembers how Draco flinched when she said he didn’t give up his surname for her. Hermione understands what McGonagall was trying to say.

And she also understands now where all the denial is coming from. Because if it’s true, if that’s what Draco is now then he can’t possibly love her, because Hermione is everything against he stands for and that’s what she doesn’t want to believe. More than anything else, Hermione doesn’t want to believe that Draco doesn’t love her.

“But you can’t!” Hermione cries, shaking her head, “I’ve seen your arm, there’s—" and the words get stuck in her mouth, because Draco is waving his wand on top of his left arm and the Dark Mark is visible on his pale skin. Ugly, evil and very much real. 

Hermione shakes her head, mutters _no_ thousands of times under her breath, her vision gets blurry and her back hit against the wall – she realizes she took several steps away from him.

“I’m sorry.” Draco says and his voice sounds pained.

“Why?” Hermione asks, her eyes still glued to that horrendous thing. She can’t seem to stop looking at it now that is there.

“I had no other choice.” Draco says and Hermione feels angry because that’s a lie and he doesn’t get to lie to her anymore.

“You are lying! I’ve read about the Dark Mark, I know how—" and her voice is louder than she meant to.

“I wanted to. That’s what you want me to say?” Draco asks, he sounds angry now, which only makes her angrier, he has no right to be angry, _no right_.

“You wanted to.” Hermione repeats, unbelieving, “you wanted tattooed on your arm a mark that bigoted, prejudiced, evil people have. People who want to kill others. People who want to kill _me_.”

“It has nothing to do with you.” Draco says and Hermione scoffs, she knows this will only go downhill from now on. Her temper is a terrible thing

“How can you possible say that?” Hermione asks. “That mark is proof of a belief that sees me as a lesser being, less than human, unworthy of magic and of life.” Hermione is shaking and years of slurs and snarling from him are on her mind.

“Because that wasn’t why I took it!”

“What reason could you possibly have to take it?”

“Obviously you wouldn’t understand!” Draco snarls.

“Obviously!” Hermione shrieks, “Death Eaters tried to kill me last year, the killing curse hit inches away from me! Obviously, I wouldn’t understand why you would join them!”

“I had to! Your brain is big enough Granger think it over! What happened that day huh? Where do you think my father is right now? And what was the sole purpose of that mission and what exactly happened instead? Do you think it was all laughter afterwards? Do you think the Dark Lord found it hilarious the fact that the prophecy was broken before he could listen to it? What did you think he did when the person responsible for the mission failed so magnificently and not only broke the prophecy, got caught but also revealed to the world that the Dark Lord was back?”

“I—"

“You have no idea what he did to my mother when he couldn’t get his hands on my father! You have no idea what’s like to face his wrath under your own roof!”

“I didn’t know.” Hermione whispers

“Obviously!” Draco shrieks, just like she did, and she narrows her eyes at him, “yes Granger, I am a Death Eater and yes, I wanted to, because otherwise he’d kill my mother, he’d kill my father and he’d kill me. Yes, I’m a Death Eater and it had nothing to do with you.”

“The things you said to me—the way you treated me—that night, after you left, I felt like filth, for days I believed I was filthy, I believed I deserved that. You treated me like nothing.”

“I already apologized for that Granger, you know I’m sorry.”

“But it doesn’t change the fact that you did and for a moment you believed in the same thing that is marked on your arm! It doesn’t change the fact that you acted like them, that you wiped your mouth and your hands after you touched and kissed me. In those moments Draco, it was about me.”

Draco looks away, his brows are furrowed and with an ache, Hermione knows she’s right.

“Why? What changed between last year and this one?” What did I do wrong? She wants to ask, but she knows none of this is her fault. _Why I wasn’t enough?_ This is more like it.

“I wanted to make him proud. I wanted my family to still matter in his ranks. Because that’s all father ever wanted, ever believed. And all I ever been is a Malfoy, his son. He’s in Azkaban now and I didn't want to fail him.”

“And for that you chose to make me feel worthless.”

“I thought if I believed in what he believed, it would be easier to bear the mark, to finish my mission.”

“Was it?”

“For a while." He confesses, "You have no idea how powerful the pull of the Dark is and to have this, this mark on your skin, his magic running on your veins—sometimes was impossible to not let it sway you.”

“And now?” 

“Now there’s nothing stronger than what I feel about you.”

“I—"

“I know. I know this is too much; this is bigger than knowing that my father is one and that he tried to kill you. I know. But I told you because you are too important to me,”

“I can’t—it _is_ too much. It’s—I— _God_ , Draco I love you _so_ much” Hermione cries, “So much that I’m terrified because this part of me, this part that is so in love with you is willing to just accept it all, but—"

“I’m not asking you for anything Granger.” Draco says, and Hermione can hear how broken he is, “I don’t expect you to accept this and roll with it, in fact I don’t expect anything. I just wanted to be honest with you because you gave me so much.”

“I should go now.” Hermione says, and she knows she looks terrible.

“Stay.” Draco asks, “Tonight. You should stay tonight, I know tomorrow you won’t be mine, but please, be mine today, for one last time.” Draco pleads and Hermione nods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry...... here we go again.... I'm sorry they are a mess. don't hate me for it!


	36. Thirty Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again! thank you so much for your comments!! I cried in at least two, no kidding. As I was editing this chapter I noticed that it was too short and decided to add part of chapter 37 on this update. I hope you enjoy!

**January 27th, 1997. Gryffindor Common Room. Day 812**

Hermione used the excuses of classes returning to get her mind back on track, but it didn’t matter how many books she read or how many assignments she finished or how many responsibilities as Prefect she did, Hermione just couldn’t shake hers and Draco’s last conversation. 

Blaise had stopped coming around to ask what was wrong, Pansy fired daggers in her direction at every chance she got, and Draco kept wasting away and disappearing from view. 

That last piece of information she only knew because Harry had made his job to track Draco on the Marauders Map at every chance he got and was getting extremely frustrated on how Draco kept disappearing from the map.

“Are you okay?” Ginny asks, “You look terrible.”

Hermione snaps from her thoughts and focuses on the girl sitting in front of her. It's true, Hermione looks terrible: she has slept less and less every week, worrying about Draco and his mission, about the war.

“I’m stressed. With everything going on—"

“You are so different Hermione.” Ginny says, “I can barely recognize you this year.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t think it’s your fault. We are growing up. There’s a war looming over our heads and we made different friends.”

“Ginny—"

“I’m not going to ask anything. I might not understand the how’s and why’s, but I don’t want to fight anymore, you are my best friend and I’ve been incredibly jealous these past few weeks.”

“You are mine too. I’m sorry I’ve been distant.”

“It’s okay. I just hope you know what you are doing.”

Before Hermione could answer, a loud cheer came from the boys and Ginny jumped to join them. Hermione watches her friends talking and laughing and feels terrible when she wishes she were with another group of friends.

 

**February 2nd, 1997. Defense Against the Dark Arts Classroom. Day 817**

Hermione is running late to the first Apparition class. For some reason she didn’t wake up on time and she had to hastily change from her pajamas and forgone any attempt to tame her hair before leaving her dorm. 

_What are you doing with your life?_ She chatises herself, as she jumps down the stairs two at a time to the Great Hall. Hermione is so sick of this question, of everyone asking her that. Her parents, with letters that grow in worry as the things in the muggle world get worse; Professor McGonagall, who begs her to be sensible, to stop seeing Draco and to remember her friends and her future; and Harry, Ron and Ginny, who see her struggling with her thoughts but doesn’t voice their questions and worries. 

The question had never been this pressing and still she's no near an answer. What is she doing? Why, weeks later, is Draco still walking around the castle with the mark tattooed on his arm? Why can’t she drag herself to Dumbledore’s office and tell everything? Why every time Harry mentions his beliefs on Draco being a Death Eater, she snaps and says his hatred has gone way too far, when she has seen the mark in that pale arm? _‘Live each day as if it's your last'_ , he said once, _‘stop overthinking everything’_ , but really, how did he expect _her_ to do that? 

Was he expecting her to run to Dumbledore, run around the castle screaming the words Death Eater at the top of her lungs without thinking who the boy under that mark is? Or better yet, to be a Gryffindor, to be good and courageous and bold and to make difference? Merlin she couldn’t be none of that. She isn’t good to do the right thing when fuck; she knows it’s the right thing. She isn’t courageous and bold, to betray him like that, even when now, his mere existence, screams danger at her person, her blood. In a way, Hermione feels like she holds the course of war on her shoulders. To tell or not to tell, Shakespeare should have said. What are you doing with your life? Wasn’t her who thought life was about cherishing your friends, staying true to your principles, live passionately and fully and well? Merlin, what had changed? How everything skyrocketed out of control like that? How she let control escape from her like that? _‘Experience new things, love and be loved’_ she said to herself when she kissed him for the first time and Merlin, she didn’t regret that, did she? No. It scared the hell out of her how she couldn’t find in her a thing to regret about him, even now. How scary was that? To lose yourself completely for the sake of a feeling? To love is to be vulnerable, she said to him once and God, wasn’t that the truth?

She is so distracted – when isn't she, these days – that Hermione doesn't notice that her thoughts had made her change ways and stop outside of Snape’s office; she doesn't even know why she's here. 

The conversation Harry told her between Snape and Draco and all the creepy smiles Dumbledore sent her way during the Christmas break plays on her mind and she finally decides to get some of the answers she’s been looking for these past weeks.

What is she going to say? _‘I know you made a vow with Narcissa, but I’m not sure you intend to follow it’_. How can she confront her teacher about Draco’s mission?

Hermione opens the door and it’s such a loud noise that she flinches and just stares at Snape's still form.

They stare at each other for what seems like hours before Snape sneers and has the first word.

“Interesting color of sweater Miss Granger.” 

Hermione looks at what she’s wearing and curses, _shit_ , she hadn’t realized it was his Slytherin hoodie she grabbed this morning. What if someone had seen her? Merlin, she couldn’t even remember if she ran into someone in her haste.

“It’s Draco’s.” She replies with the obvious and Snape remains silent, but his face looks sickened and she has no idea where she gathers the courage, but her next words are already out of her mouth, “you know, I’m still not sure what’s it about Draco and I that has you so queasy” and it’s not like anything she intended to say to him.

Snape raises an eyebrow before answering, “I just find extremely disturbing the idea of the two of you together.”

“And why is that? Is it because of who I am? Or is it because you are too grossed about the idea of love? Or is it because you think I’d tell him that you are in the Order?”

Snape just hisses and Hermione goes on.

“Because I wouldn’t." She says, honestly. "I’m not Harry or Ron, I trust you, I believe in you, not because Dumbledore says so like the others, because I don’t agree with many of his ideas—“ Snape raises an eyebrow “– yeah, forgive me if I don’t completely trust a man who lets Harry live in an abusive house year after year, who let a man he knew was innocent go to Azkaban without trial, who lets a 16 year old boy walk around the castle, wasting away, with a mark on his arm and a mission on his shoulder.” Now Snape has both of his eyebrows raised and he puts down the books he’s been holding.

“So, you know?” Snape asks, he looks impressed.

“Are you looking like that because he told me or because I stayed?” Hermione says and the choice of words scares her as much as it shocks Snape.

“I knew girls on my time who wouldn’t have stayed.” Snape says and it’s the most personal thing she’s heard coming from his mouth in her six years at Hogwarts.

“Maybe because one didn’t give them enough reasons to stay.” Hermione retorts and he narrows his eyes at her, they glint dangerously. She sighs, “I trust you for the same reason Draco is terrified of you: because you know, and you haven’t told Voldemort about us.”

Snape doesn’t comment on her use of Voldemort’s name, his faces says it for him, he’s displeased at such audacity, “I’m not sure the Dark Lord would be interested in the love life of his followers.”

“I’m sure he would when the interest is muggle-born and best friends with Harry Potter, ask Professor McGonagall, she has plenty to say about it.”

“Have you always been this mouthy or was it after Draco?” Snape asks and she senses amusement on his tone.

She ignores his question to be the boldest she’s ever been in front of him, “Why did you make an Unbreakable Vow with Draco’s mother to protect him and help him if you are loyal to Dumbledore?”

Snape crosses his arms on his chest and leans back on his table, he looks calm but there’s a stiffness to his shoulders that betrays him, “did he tell you that too?”

“No. Harry heard you talking the other day” Snape huffs annoyed, and Hermione almost laughs at the pain written on Snape’s face at the mention of Harry being onto him again. “That’s what I can’t make sense of: you know what Draco’s mission is, which means Dumbledore knows as well, so why is no one doing anything to stop him? Is it because you don’t believe he can do it? But even then, why would him let a terrified boy with a mission in the castle? Is his mission not that dangerous to worry about? But if it's not, why would Voldemort need him if he believes he has you? Why did Narcissa wanted an Unbreakable Vow? Does it mean Draco’s mission is doomed to failure and that’s Voldemort intention? Punish the Malfoy family? To kill him after he fails? And what could possibly be that it's impossible to Draco to do but you are willing to do and Dumbledore is okay with it?” She says in quickly succession, her brain working fast and her mouth even faster.

Snape makes a sound that it's scaringly close to a snort, “I've always thought you were just an annoying know-it-all, but aren’t you really the brightest witch of her age?" He asks and the part of her that's always dying for a compliment, for proof of her worth, revels in it, "I guess the Dark Lord should be worried about you, instead of killing Potter.” He says it and Hermione knows her professor enough to know that this is somewhat an answer.

“Does he want Draco to kill Harry?" She asks, "Is that why McGonagall thinks Draco is using me? No. We all know he wants to kill Harry himself and we all know there’s no chance to do that while Dumbledore’s is ali—oh! That’s it, isn’t it?”

“I must admit I didn’t follow this specific line of thought of yours.”

“That’s why Dumbledore is okay with it all! With Draco's mission and your Unbreakable Vow! His hand isn’t the only thing that is dying, is it? He is cursed. That hand was cursed, I know that, I know a curse when I see one—" Snape raises an eyebrow again, unimpressed by her lack of humility, “—and oh! No?”

“Miss granger, I might know Legillimency but there’s way too many girlish thoughts in there for me to make out what are you thinking now.”

Hermione frowns, she can’t be right, she refuses to believe Dumbledore would ask such a thing and then she becomes angry because that’s exactly what someone with the amount of power and influence Dumbledore has would ask.

“Who does he think he is? To ask such a thing?”

“Voice your thoughts Miss Granger, nothing has stopped you before, I can’t see what would now.” He sounds tired.

“He asked you to kill him if Draco fails." There's a minimal twitch on his left eye, that's how she knows she's right. "That’s why you did the Unbreakable Vow, that’s why you offered to help Draco. He must have known Narcissa would want to protect her son and ask you this, you’re his godfather—" he looks more pained to have this bit of information of him out than anything else she said until now, “He wants you to do it because he knows Draco can’t. But how could he ask such thing from you? He must know you respect him, how could he ask you to kill after everything? After having you playing double agent for years? After getting you as far as being Voldemort's right hand?”

Hermione notices the second she has him taken back, clearly not expecting this bit of empathy towards his person.

“And he also expects me to stop Draco, to be what makes him change sides, but I can’t! Not when Voldemort threatened his mother and father, I can’t do anything but be there for him, so he won’t lose himself in the midst of it all. And Draco wants to do it himself, I know he does, his family name is on the line—“ her voice cracks and her tone has a desperate edge to it, “Professor, I’m in no position to ask you this, or anything, but, I can only do so much to save him, I can’t kill Dumbledore for him, but—" her eyes are full of tears and it’s not the first time she cries in front of Snape, but it’s the first time she doesn’t feel humiliated.

“What you are going to ask me, Dumbledore already did, as well as Draco’s mother.”

“Protect him, please." She says instead. "I can’t lose him. I know you think of me as stupid for being worried about him but—he’s good, he cares, he—this mission is destroying him, and I can’t lose him.”

It takes a few minutes for Snape to reply, and it’s not what she had expected, “Dumbledore believes Draco will turn to the light because of you.”

“But he won’t. He’s too loyal to his family; he wouldn’t accept The Order protection if it meant his mother and father were left to Voldemort’s wrath. It would destroy him. I won’t ask him to. I won’t.

“So, what will you do, Miss Granger? Beg me to kill Dumbledore?” Snape asks in his drawling voice. 

“Why can’t he jump from the Astronomy Tower if he’s already dying? Why can’t he drink a potion that kills him instead of asking to someone else to do the job?”

“Are you even listening to yourself?”

“I am! I’m trying to come up with something that doesn’t end with Draco regretting his choices for the rest of his life! I’m not asking you to kill Dumbledore! Which already makes me better than two people! How long does he have? What if we—

“We?" He stops her mid-sentence and gets up from his chair, he walks toward her, stopping in front of her. Hermione can't pretend she didn't coil. "Granger, I’m not making murder plans with you. You won’t be doing anything. You will pretend you know nothing, and you will leave me to do what I have to do.”

“But I can’t! I can’t let Draco plan murder on his free time; I can’t do nothing while I know you and Draco are planning murder!”

“You can, and you will. You are doing more than anyone ever did for a teenager Death Eater. You stay with him and you show him that the mark doesn’t define him.” Snape says and Hermione nods furiously, her tears washing her face

“I will.”

“Then you are already helping.”

“I will try to think of something, I—"

“Granger, leave it. Now leave, I believe you have somewhere you must be—and for Merlin’s sake, remove that hoodie before anyone sees you with it.” 

She nods and pulls the hoodie over her head. Hermione shrinks it so it can fit on her pocket and Snape pretends he didn’t see a very good piece of magic right now.

Hermione is almost out of the door when he calls her again, “You know, maybe those colors aren’t so strange on you after all.” Hermione turns around and ponders if she should tell him. Why not? It’s not like he doesn’t already know enough.

“The Hat told me that I was the most difficult choice he had to do in all his years. He said I had traits Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Slytherin valued, he said wherever he put me, I would be great. I chose Gryffindor.”

“Why?” Snape looks honestly interested on this bit on information.

“Because I was eleven years old, because I read that there wasn’t one evil wizard that wasn’t from Slytherin, because I am muggle-born and Slytherin values purity.” Hermione doesn’t understand where the bitterness in her voice comes from.

“Do you regret your choice?” Snape asks, having caught her tone.

“Not until last year. I never believed one muggle-born in Slytherin would change their views and beliefs, I always thought I would never be more than mudblood in their eyes and that I would suffer thorough seven years. But then I got to know Draco, Pansy, Daph, Theo and Blaise and they all accepted me, we all became friends. And it was in less than one year. Sometimes I wonder what I could have done if I was Slytherin.”

“This kind of thought is precisely what makes you a Gryffindor. You are exactly where you are supposed to be.”

“Thank you. Are you going to tell Dumbledore about this?”

“That you are willingly planning his death? No.”

“Why not?”

“Because he would definitely find it fascinating and would have some other plan for you.” He says and stares her down, Hermione feels the same twist on her stomach.

“Should I be worried about his plans for Harry?” She asks and for a while, she thinks she won’t get her answer.

Snape looks pained when he answers, “Yes.”

 

**February 17th, 1997. Quidditch Field. Day 832**

“Draco.” Hermione calls the moment she sees him coming to the pitch.

For the past weeks she’s been trying to find him alone and failing miserably, not only he was now always with Crabbe or Goyle, but Harry wouldn’t stop looking for him on the Map. The last thing Hermione needed was Harry seeing her name next to Draco's.

Draco stops dead when he sees her, and she notices sadly, how he looks worse than before.

“What are you doing here?” Draco asks and looks around. “Come here,” he pulls her under the stands; he needs to crouch a little so he won't hit his head.

“I wanted to come earlier, but Harry is onto you and—" Hermione stops and takes a big breath.

“What?”

Hermione reaches for him, for the arm he now has the mark tattooed, Draco’s eyes follows her hand and she can feel his entire body tensing. Her hand shakes the entire way and keeps shaking even when it's resting over his forearm.

It takes everything she has to say the next words, to let this huge part of her behind so she can save him. She will think about the world later, now, she needs to save him, “I know Draco and I don’t care” Hermione whispers, loud enough so it won’t get lost on the wind. “I’m not leaving Draco.”

“I’m a Death Eater Granger, you can’t pretend otherwise, you can’t pretend you don’t know what this means. What I have tattooed in my arm is—"

“I don’t care about what’s marked into your arm. I won’t ever regret you. You can push me all of you want, but I won’t bend, and it won’t make me go back to what we were. It won’t make me see any less of you. Because you are so much more than the mark in your arm Draco.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I’m the smartest witch of my age.” Hermione replies with a cheeky smile and his eyes finally spark with some light. “Because I’m always right” _because I love you._

“I thought you—"

“No. I know you Draco, I _know_ you. And I won’t let him take you away from me, I won’t let him turn you into someone else.”

Draco holds her neck and pulls her closer, hugging her; Hermione hugs him tight and sighs on his chest.

“I love you Granger, I do.” Draco whispers and Hermione smiles on his chest and she will hold onto this moment forever, because here she is, Hermione Granger, under a Quidditch stand, with Draco Malfoy and he loves her, he does.

Hermione removes her head from his chest and looks at him, “I don’t want us to be something ugly again.”

“What do you want?” Draco asks and Hermione feels like she can probably ask for the world and he’d give her.

“For us to be together. I know it’s not like fifth year and everything is different, but I want that, I want us. I want those evenings in that empty office; I want every second we spent together that year. I don’t want to pretend that I don’t miss you and that I don’t want to be with you.”

“Look at us, the Gryffindor princess and the Death Eater.” Draco whispers.

“You are more than that. And I told you I don’t care who you are and what you are. I want you. We only have the Hogwarts walls remember? So, let’s pretend it’s forever! Because I know what I feel is forever and I can’t bottle it up anymore, I can’t be wary of everything I say or do. I don't want to be afraid of if I let too much slip you are going to turn on me again, I can’t be on eggshells around you anymore. Draco please, I know this isn’t fifth year anymore and that suddenly everything is more serious, but it’s still you and I.”

“What you are asking me is suicide. You must know that. This isn’t your muggle novel, that love conquers all and we are an even twisted version of Romeo and Juliet. I read the book, I know how it ends.” His voice is still low, but his tone is urgent, he too, is desperate for this.

“I’m not asking you that! I’m not asking you to scream around the castle what we are or for you tell your parents! All I’m asking is, to be together, right here, right now. I’m not asking for any second more outside the castle, I’m not asking for heroics.”

“So then why are you asking anything at all? Why keep this up if we don’t have a future?" His voice cracks at that, "If we don’t know how this war is going to end or fuck, if both of us are going to get out of this alive? Why insist on us right now if we are doomed to the same end whatever we do?”

“Because what I feel for you isn’t going to change if we stop this today or on the last day of the term. Because what we have is worth more than this. Because what we fought for within ourselves to get where we are, is so much worthier than quick angry shags under tapestries and empty classrooms.”

Hermione smiles a little and she is staring at him, so she knows the exact second she wins, with his sigh and shake of head, his lips curling upwards.

“I’m not selfless, never knew how. I don’t know how to walk away from what I want or not have something I want.” Draco is closer now, his hands cupping her cheeks and his thumbs caressing her chin. “This is going to ruin us, we are going to leave the Hogwarts walls broken beyond repair because we feel too much and I don’t think we will be able to recover from this.”

Hermione Granger is fucked because she doesn’t care, she can’t find a single thing she regrets about Draco Malfoy, about them and honestly, she doesn’t even want to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, I didn't drag their angst... I thought about doing so, but I felt bad for them and decided to give them a break, at least for now.
> 
> You know the drill! please leave a comment.


	37. Thirty Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! sorry for the delay!! I got caught up in a few things from uni and the update slipped my mind. I hope you enjoy this as well. As always thank you for your comments, please know that I read and appreciate all of them.

**February 20th, 1997. The Library. Day 835**

“Aren’t you pairing up with Draco?” Blaise asks when they notice Theo approaching.

“Well, yeah. But he said he was busy, so” Theo shrugs and sits down with Hermione and Blaise.

“You won’t be copying ours, just so you know.” Blaise says and Theo rolls his eyes.

“I heard you two made up.” Theo says to Hermione and she nods.

“What?" Blaise shrieks, "I’ve been here for half an hour and you haven’t said anything!” Blaise complains and Madam Pince tells him to be quiet, Blaise waves to the woman.

“You didn’t ask.”

“Since when? I’m still giving him the cold shoulder, tell me Granger, so I can know how mean I’ve been to him.”

“He’s not a baby Blaise.” Theo says, “He stayed in Hogwarts for Christmas so I supposed since then, right?”

“What?” Blaise shrieks again and Madam Pince hisses at him. “Then why has Pans been firing daggers at you?” Blaise finally asks in a low tone.

“We stayed together at Christmas and it was perfect, it was. But then he told me everything and I needed some time to adjust.” Hermione says, her voice as low as it gets

“So, he told you then?” Blaise asks and they are whispering now.

“Yes."

“And you are okay with it?” Theo asks.

“I have to be. I can’t let him alone in this, I can’t let him believe he’s only the Dark Mark or else—"

“And about his mission? You know what it is?” Blaise asks.

“No. You?” Both boys shake their heads and sighs.

Hermione doesn’t want to tell them that she knows and that she talked to Snape about it, she knows how dangerous it is with only she knowing.

“It takes great deal of courage to see the world in all its tainted glory and still love it.” She says quietly and the looks they give her are different in the ways Blaise and Theo are polar opposites, but they are equally pitiful. 

“He’s not the world Granger.” Theo says sadly.

“He’s to me.” Hermione replies. Blaise shakes his head and sighs.

“Draco doesn’t deserve you, don’t let him mistreat you again Granger.” Theo says and Blaise nods.

“And I don’t care how much you love him, if it ever gets to be too much, if saving him means putting you in danger, please know how to walk out. Draco’s my best friend and he had a reason to want you away from us, the reason still exists.”

 

**February 27th, 1997. Room of Requirement. Day 840**

“You must know how much I hate Potter” Draco says, his mouth hot on her neck.

“Believe me, I might have an idea.” Hermione replies, her hands struggling to undo the buttons of his shirt.

“He needs to learn how to mind his own business.” Draco grunts and being much less patient than Hermione, simply pushes her shirt open, the buttons fly wildly across the room.

Hermione can’t even hiss at him because his mouth is on hers.

They stagger to the bed, tripping over their shoes and pants and it’s almost a miracle when they finally lay on it, both bodies naked and lips clashed together.

Since their decision to be together, they couldn’t get more than stolen kisses and wandering hands, Harry was always with the map on his pocket, checking on it every time he didn’t have Draco on sight.

So, the moment Harry left for his lesson with Dumbledore, Hermione followed to meet Draco.

“Please,” Hermione cries when his tongue licks and his teeth nibbles on her nipple.

Draco looks at her and his eyes are dark, and his hair is a mess, but he’s finally smiling and Hermione loves his smile só much. “What do you want?” Draco asks her.

“Inside me.” Hermione replies and Draco nods.

 

**March 3rd, 1997. Infirmary. Day 846**

As soon as the news reached her, she was by Ron’s sickbed. Ron looked pale and had yet to wake, Harry was on the other side with Ginny while Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape and Slughorn stood at the foot of the bed.

“How did this happen professor?” McGonagall asks, torn.

“I have no idea.” Slughorn replies, “The hydromel, I was saving to gift it but given the circumstances I thought to drink it earlier, with the boys—"

“A gift? To whom?” Dumbledore asks.

“To you headmaster.” Slughorn replies and Hermione’s eyes fall immediately to Snape, who is already looking at her.

Hermione holds Ron’s hand tighter and wills her tears not to fall.

Madam Pomfrey comes to check again on Ron and announces that he is going to be okay, the poison had already left his body and in no time, he’d be up again. But that didn't change the fact that Hermione cried anyway.

 

**March 5th, 1997. Room of Requirement. Day 846**

“He almost died!” Hermione yells the moment she sees him.

“What—"

“Don’t you dare! I know it was you Draco, I know!”

“Weasley?” Draco snarls.

“Yes! Weasley!” Hermione yells again and this time she's close enough to push him and she watches as he falls on the bed, “if Harry hadn’t been with that stupid book he wouldn’t—Slughorn was useless—Ron could’ve died!”

“You say it like my intention was to kill Weasley.” Draco says carelessly, his hand absently running on his belly, his eyes now closed. It infuriates her.

Hermione throws a pillow on him, Draco snarls and opens only one eye to glare at her.

“Oh, spare me that look. Don’t you see how careless you are? First Katie—"

“Say that again Granger.” He threatens and it’s her turn to glare at him.

“Please,” she says, rolls her eyes, removes her coat and looks at him – a movement all well learned from him. She’s sure he recognizes. “I saw you following her inside that disgusting toilet that day, remember feeling really angry at you, and I don’t know if you know this bit, but it was in front of me that she convulsed, and that little necklace fell inches away from me.”

Draco doesn’t reply, but Hermione notices that he has stopped caressing his belly.

“Let me tell you that it took a second for me to recognize and less than five seconds to Harry recognize that necklace from Borgin & Burke’s.”

“And how did the two geniuses recognize that?” He asks angrily, “surely such golden and good people don’t window shop at Borgin’s.”

“We followed you that day. When we saw each other at Diagonal Alley.”

“You did what?” 

“Yeah Malfoy, I did that—" she doesn’t miss the way he flinches upon hearing his last name on her tongue, “but that’s not the point right now. The point is, I can accept who you are enough to be with you, but I will not, I repeat, I will not accept you putting people’s life, my _best friend’s_ life in danger.” Her voice is more threatening than she intended and Draco’s siting up now, shoulders tense and knuckles hard on the sheets under him.

“Why do you worry? Apparently, you and your friends are always behind me.”

“I’m telling you Malfoy—"

“Stop calling me that—" He is standing now,

“—If Ron had died yesterday, I wouldn’t need to think twice before doing something!”

“And what would you do? Tell the school I’m a Death Eater? And when they ask how do you know? What will you say? Will you tell them we are fucking, that’s how you know?”

Hermione glares at him and she’s sure her face changes because Draco’s expression is now sorry, but she won’t let him apologize. Not now.

“You listen to me Draco Malfoy, and you listen well. I’m on your side and your side only. I trust you and that’s why I won’t tell anyone. But that changes the _moment_ someone else gets hurt because of you.” Hermione takes a deep breath before continuing, “I know one of the things you have to do—" Draco’s eyes widen, “I know and I haven’t told anyone.”

“Don’t bluff with me. How can you possible know what my mission is?” He asks and Hermione schools her face fast enough to not let him know how much it hurts hearing the words “my mission” coming from his mouth. She has known for months but it cuts through her all the same.

“You have to kill Dumbledore. That’s your mission.” Hermione says and Draco’s eyes widen, his mouth open and close multiple times before any sound comes out.

“How?” Draco splutters.

Hermione can’t tell him about her talk with Snape, so she tells him a half lie, “Leanne told us Katie wanted to deliver that necklace to Dumbledore, Slughorn said the hydromel was supposed to be a gift to Dumbledore. Both things were deadly and given to them by you.”

“You have no idea how dangerous it is for you to be this intelligent.”

“I’m not intelligent enough. I can’t make out what else you have to do. I know there’s something more. What it is Draco?”

Draco sits back on the bed and stares at her, “I can’t tell you Hermione.” He says, using her name. She will never let him know how much hearing her name on his tongue gets to her.

“If you have to keep a secret it's because you shouldn't be doing it in the first place”, she says in a way she knows it irritates him. Hermione knows he hates when she talks as she knows the truth about the universe, as if she carries all of the answers in the world. She wasn’t trying to irritate him, but she said it anyway, hands on hips and nose up in the air.

Draco scoffs, “of course I shouldn’t be doing it in the first place, otherwise I wouldn’t need this fucking mark on my arm.” He snaps and after taking a look at her expression, sighs. “I have to keep it a secret because I want to keep you safe.”

“Draco, it’s me. I know about Dumbledore and I’m still here. How much worse can it be?”

“You don’t get it do you? What does it matter if I tell you or not? Why should I worry you when at the end it’s me who has to do it? Not you, just me. I’m the only person I can count on, and lean on, and depend on. It has to be me because then what else?”

“Me! You got me Draco!”

“Don’t say stupid things Granger.”

“I’m not letting you alone with this, I watch you waste away in front of my eyes and I can't do anything. You disappear every day and I worry that something will happen to you.” She says and Hermione hadn’t noticed how choked up she had become. “I want to know what you have to do, so I can help you.”

The words that leave her mouth shock them both. 

“Do you even hear yourself?”

“I can’t lose you Draco. I can’t. And that’s exactly what’s happening in front of me.”

He doesn’t respond, and Hermione realizes that Draco doesn’t have an inch of hope that he will survive this. 

Hermione ignores her frantic heart and the stubborn tears that insist in leave her eyes and sits besides him. This is her last chance to get through him.

“Draco, look at me.” She starts, her voice soft and the boy looks at her, “this whole year, you’ve been pushing everyone away. Blaise and Theo, Daph and Pansy. But not one of them listened to your bullshit, they are still there, all waiting for you to accept them again. All waiting for you to tell them what’s going on so they can help you. I know you think you have to do this on your own, that you are alone in this but Draco, you aren’t. I want you to know that, whenever becomes too much for you, you can come find us. Come find me.”

“I can’t tell you now." He says and grabs one of her hands. "But I promise I will tell you. I will tell you when the day comes. But until then, I—" his voice breaks and when he looks at her eyes, Hermione can only see how vulnerable he is right now, “I need you to stay with me. I need you to remind me I’m not a monster. I need you to say all those things you keep telling me. I need you to me by anchor.”

“I will always be here Draco, I’m not leaving and I’m going to tell you every day how you are the best thing that ever happened to me.” She promises.

 

**March 16th 1997. Gryffindor Common Room. Day 851**

Hermione knows she’s being an awful friend but having Harry and Ron in the hospital wing for the past five days did wonders to her relationship with Draco and the others Slytherins. She had managed to make all of them sit and talk. Apologies were exchanged, and Draco was a little better in terms of looks. His paleness and sickly complex were slowly getting better.

She couldn’t believe she was feeling grateful to McLaggen for having sent that bludger towards Harry during the last Quidditch match, which allowed her to get things considerably under control again. But now, with both of them healthy and back at their favorite activities, Hermione realized she should have enjoyed more.

Hermione stares blankly at the two elves in front of her. Harry had just outdone himself in terms of his obsession with Draco. She knew, even when he didn’t mention to her anymore, because he was getting really annoyed at her constant denial regarding the blond boy, that he kept looking for him on the map during his stay at the infirmary. And apparently, set the house elves to trail him everywhere Draco went. Which was incredibly annoying in her opinion.

Harry went on and on with his inquiries to both Kreacher and Dobby and now he knew about the Requirement Room too. Hermione doesn't put past him to not stand guard on the door for now on.

She had stopped feeling guilty about keeping the things she knew about Draco from them a few months ago.

“I just need to spy on him, then I can know what he’s up to when he’s in.”

“But that’s impossible Harry.” Hermione chimes in.

“No, it’s not. Because he got into Headquarters last year, I can get in and see it as well.”

“No, you won’t,” she says again, this time with a hint of frustration, _please let it go, just let it go_. “Malfoy knew what we were using the room for, so that’s why he could get in, he only needed to think about what we were using the Room for. You don’t have any idea of what he’s doing in there.”

“I’m sure I can find a way to do it,” he says, clearly unperturbed. “Anyway, how great is that? Now we know for sure he’s up to something and where he’s going when he disappears from the map! We can find out what he’s doing!”

Hermione isn't so sure. She hasn’t asked again, but that doesn’t mean she had stopped paying attention on what Draco was doing, but she remained on the dark about what. He just wouldn’t let anything slip.

“Yeah,” She agrees glumly, hating the way things are going. It was times like these when she missed Fifth Year when Harry couldn’t care less about what Draco did, “But what is this about going with a ‘variety of students’?” She asks, Hermione is really curious about what Dobby had said, as she knows none of his friends are involved in what he has been doing, much for their annoyance. 

“I didn’t even know Malfoy had that many friends,” Ron says menacingly, “with all that brooding and sparkling personality, I can’t seem to understand how anyone can like him at all.” He says sarcastically, and Hermione looks pointedly at her parchment, ignoring the heat on his tone.

“You are right,” Harry starts, “I don’t—Oh! Merlin, I’ve been so stupid! It’s obvious now!” Hermione snaps her head up again, startled, “Crabbe and Goyle, obviously! I heard Malfoy talking with Crabbe saying it wasn’t his business and they are the only ones dumb enough to do anything they are told and they are used to being his cronies, aren’t they?”

“Yeah Harry, but Dobby just said variety of students, Crabbe and Goyle are just two and they aren’t all that unique for not being recognized.” Hermione says tiredly.

“Don’t you see Hermione? It’s Polyjuice! The girl we knocked down that day and the second year Ravenclaw just yesterday? We’ve been passing them for weeks now and now I think about it, every time we passed them, one made sure to make some kind of noise to warn Malfoy!” 

She stars open mouthed at Harry, it makes sense and Hermione, knowing Draco, knows it's completely possible such thing. Only Crabbe and Goyle would do something like that without asking questions and they are in constant need for approval not only from Draco but from their parents as well. Not to mention that the two are very much into the Death Eater thing, even if the two don't have the mark themselves, they would be more than eager to help in whatever it was, if that put them in a good light.

Hermione wonders how Harry hadn’t realized anything about her and Draco after all this time. He really had in him the investigative and deductive mind.

“Those two are being transformed into girls every day?” Ron asks between fits of laughter, “how dense they must be for that?”

“Not much, not if Malfoy showed them his Dark Mark” Harry says pointedly, and Hermione scoffs, Harry looks at her with narrowed eyes.

“The Dark Mark you don’t know if he has.” She says.

“Hermione, it’s more than certain now. He really is up to something and I told you countless ti—"

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard. But I still don’t think he has the Mark. He’s only sixteen.” She said and silently begged Harry to just drop it.

“I’m sure of it.” He says confidently.

“If you say so.” Hermione says skeptically and gather her things. She has had enough of this talk.

“You will see I’m right Hermione.” He says as Hermione gets up.

“Just be sure you don’t forget about what you really are supposed to be doing, which is getting that memory, not your obsession with Malfoy.” She says before stalking out. 

 

**March 16th 1997. The Library. Day 851**

Hermione walks in hurried steps to the library, having caught a glimpse of Blaise’s name on the map, along with others, before leaving the Common Room.

It doesn't take her long to find him once she arrives at the library. His unique face and beauty, attracts too much attention for one to simply miss him.

“Zabini.” She says and puts her books over the table a little bit to forcefully, making him and the others--Theo, Crabbe and Daphne, all jump.

“What does the Mudblood wants?” Crabbe asks with a sneer.

“Nothing to do with you.” She replies, sneering back at him and then turning to Blaise once again. “We know where and with whom he’s doing it, pass the message, will you?”

“What are you talking about? Does your diseased blood is finally affecting your brain?” Crabbe says and looks around to see if the others are going to laugh at his joke, when he sees it falls flat, he scowls at them.

“I’m sure Zabini here understands what I said, as so did the others, but I can’t say I’m not surprised you have difficulty in understanding simple English.” She shoots back and after picking her stuff, sets off from the library.

 

**March 22nd 1997. Fourth Floor Corridor. Day 858**

Since Draco resigned from Prefect duties at the beginning of the year, patrolling the corridors at night was much more boring and even a little bit creepy with only the echoes of her footsteps for company.

She missed him the most during rounds. Not that she didn’t miss him all the time after Harry had started to follow Draco’s every move. But at rounds they could walk around hand in hand and talk freely, not fearing being caught. 

Hermione doesn't need to mention the fact that they made out every ten steps.

She’s almost done tonight, not having encountered anything wrong or students out of bed and she’s so lost in her thoughts that she almost screams when she notices Draco leaning in the floor’s stairs' banister.

“Hey.” She greets and his eyes are hollower than before. Hermione sighs and immediately goes into his arms, fingers on his cheeks.

Draco closes his eyes and his hands wraps around her wrists. “Are you done tonight?” He asks in a whisper and Hermione nods.

“It’s everything okay?” 

Draco shakes his head and Hermione notices his chin trembling.

“Draco…”

“Come with me.” Draco entwine their fingers and pull her to the stairs. 

She follows him in silence, they are in almost complete darkness, both their wands are in their pockets and Hermione is impressed with how mindlessly he moves around the castle.

They stop in front of the Room Of Requirement and Draco walks three times in front of where the door is supposed to be and suddenly it’s there.

Hermione’s eyes widen when she sees the amount of stuff in the room and unconsciously, she grabs her wand through her pocket. If she loses her wand here, she would never be able to find it again.

So, this is what Draco is doing in the Room every time he disappears from the map. Hermione’s first thought is that she could erase this from her mind, so Harry never finds out.

Draco stands in front of her and his shoulders are slouched. He looks like someone who just lost something big. 

Hermione thinks that maybe he just did. She has an idea on why he brought her here. In the past week Draco was getting even more anxious, skipping meals and not paying attention in class. His second task is destroying him.

He turns to Hermione, grabs both of her hands and she’s already crying.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Hermione. You are my last hope. I’m running out of time and out of ideas and—I need—I need your help.”

“What?”

“My second mission. This is what I’ve been working on this whole year. Not Dumbledore’s death. This.”

Hermione looks around the room: she sees piles of old chairs, used brooms, piles and piles of books, broken tables and cabinets. She sees a world of things and nothing that could possibly be Draco’s mission.

“I don’t understand.”

“All those trials—The necklace, the hydromel—it was a cover, to distract them of what I really need to do.”

“But—Dumbledore’s death—”

“The killing curse. It’s the only thing that will kill him. He’s too powerful, too great for those childish tricks.”

“So… What is this?”

“Hermione.” He grabs her hands more firmly, “What I’m going to tell you—I need to be sure that no one else will find out. I don’t mean not trusting you, Salazar knows that I do. I’m talking about Occlumency.”

“But I don’t know—”

“I’m going to teach you. I should have taught you when our relationship started. It’s what going to keep you safe when I’m not—”

“You are not going anywhere,” Hermione cries.

“ _Love._ ” He calls her, “Your safety is more important than anything else.”

“Not to me.” She says and the smile he gives her doesn't reach his eyes.

“I’m going to teach you and I’m going to tell you what I need to do and then—I will need your help.” He says.


	38. Thirty Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> o k a y. I'm sorry! the update was supposed to come on the 21st but like, Carnival happened and if you don't know what goes down during carnival in Brazil, just know it's a four day long holiday with lots of parties, lots of customs and lots of glitter so yeah, I got sidetracked that weekend AND to make things worse, my Mac simply decided to not work anymore and I couldn't turn it on and get my things back and I was dumb enough to not save the story in the cloud so I had to search everyone in my emails to try to find at least an earlier version of this and uhulll! here I am! I'm back (with only two chapters lost and still no computer) but I will make it work.
> 
> Hm TW:mentions of blood (it's the bathroom scene between Draco and harry where sectumsempra happens)

**Abril 25th 1997. Room of Requirement. Day 871**

Draco and Hermione spent every day of the past month working on her Occlumency. They fought more than all their previous years put together, which is a lot, to say the least, and with the beginning of the Easter holidays, they used the extra time to practice even more. The pair snapped more and more at each other as the urgency grew. They both knew how important it was that she learned and even more important was that Draco finished his mission.

“I need you to focus!” Draco snarled at her for what seemed to be the nth time that day.

“I am!” She hissed.

“I can see everything in your mind right now. How can you call that focus?”

“I’m tired!”

“I don’t care! They will not care! Hermione, a war is coming and if they catch you, your mind if your greatest enemy.”

“I know! Draco, I know!”

“So. Try. Harder.” He bit out and she glared at him.

Despite his constant insults, she starts to get better. In fact, she is advancing quicker than they thought without using Bellatrix’s methods of teaching.

But Draco is good. He is phenomenal to be honest. It doesn't matter how hard Hermione tries to poke inside his head, she just can't get in. One day she tried to just barge in by force alone and Draco screamed but the only thing she managed to get a glimpse of was how much he wanted to kill her that moment.

Draco shook for minutes after her attack and she cried apologies and smothered his hair with kisses.

Later that evening, he complimented her and threatened to do the same if she didn’t manage to block everything.

By the end of April, Hermione had read every single book on the library about occlumency and memory and when Draco tried looking into her mind that last day, he found a huge muggle bank vault wall and nothing he did worked. He kissed her senseless.

“You did it. You learned.” He gasps in her lips.

She hung on his arms and sighed in relief. Knowing that her mind was her own and no one could use it against her was satisfying.

“Now, the second part.” Hermione nods and focus on him, “I need to kill Dumbledore. What I need to do after is the problem. I need to leave the castle. I bet that are hundreds of wards on this place that will warn everyone if something happens to the headmaster, I started reading on it but—I need to focus on how I’m going to leave.” Hermione nods and makes a mental note to start reading. “It’s impossible to Apparate in or out of the castle. Only the headmaster can bend that rule and once he’s dead, there’s nothing he can do” Draco says sarcastically. “If getting out wasn’t hard enough, I need to take him with me.”

Hermione gasps. Leaving the castle after murdering someone was a hard-enough task but dragging the body along was downright impossible. No wonder why Draco was effectively losing his mind.

“Before the beginning of the semester, I went to Borgin & Burkes—that you know—” he snarls, “--There I bought one Vanishing Cabinet and, I don’t know if you know, Vanishing Cabinets work in pairs. The other one is in here. Last year when the Weasley twins hid that kid inside that cabinet and the boy almost lost part of his body, I realized what they were and remembered seeing one of those at Borgin & Burkes years ago.”

Hermione remembers that incident and how mad the professors were at the twins.

“But it’s broken.” She blurts and Draco looks pained.

“I’ve been trying to fix that thing for months now. They only work in pairs and you can’t use a substitute. Those bloody things are temperamental, I’ve tried almost everything by now. It’s my only chance of getting away. I tried working around the wards, I tried walking into the forest far enough to see if I could find where they end but I couldn’t and even if I did, I would never manage to bring Dumbledore with me.”

Hermione nods. 

“Does anyone else knows about the cabinets?” She asks,

“No.” He says.

“What do you need me to do?” She asks.

He stops at that, even with working on her Legilimency for the past month, he still didn't quite believe that Hermione was willing to help him. “Are you going to help me?”

“It’s just fixing a cabinet. You are not asking me to murder someone for you or cause harm—”

“Hermione." He calls, puts his hands on her arms, "it's more than that. It’s aiding a Death Eater. It’s conspiring to murder—”

“Draco.” She stops him and puts both of her hands on his cheeks, “I will read books. Books about vanishing cabinets, books about the wards in Hogwarts, books about dark objects. I will read and casually tell you about my findings. You won’t show me where it is and I won’t come here again. If someone asks, I can say I got curious. Everyone thinks I’ve read all the books in the library. I will just be reading another one.”

“If it gets to be too much—” Draco says and she remembers Blaise’s exact same words. _If it ever gets to be too much, if saving him means putting you in danger, please know how to walk out_.

How could she walk out? When she has seen what the mark does to Draco? What this mission is doing to him? How can she walk out and not drag him with her?

If his task is to leave the castle with Dumbledore, she is capable of dragging the body herself if it means he survives.

It’s dangerous. Hermione knows it, but Draco doesn’t deserve any of this, doesn’t deserve to be punished for his father’s mistakes and doesn’t deserve to live a life – or not get to – based on his father’s choices. Draco deserves to choose how he wants to live and who he wants to become. And until now, all his choices have her by his side, so she’s choosing him.

**May 2th 1997. Library. Day 877**

“What are you reading Hermione?” Ron asks, she has at least five books on her table, not a single one is a textbook and not even Ron is that book-dense to not notice.

“I got curious. If someone got to attack the castle, how it would defend itself,” she says and Harry raises an eyebrow at her.

“What?”

“Didn’t ever cross your mind? How old is this castle? Besides the confounding wards, must have something else protecting it. We all know that it's impossible to apparate in or out, but what if something happens? How do they get hundreds of kids out?”

“They must have something alright.” Ron says, “But don’t you have school stuff to do? Why are you taking notes?”

“Oh—I finished that ages ago—No Ron, I won’t let you copy.”

“I was going to ask you to help.” He mumbles irritated. 

Hermione rolls her eyes and continues to take notes to give it to Draco.

The castle is amazing magic at itself: there is a spell that can make all the armors come to life and protect the castle, hundreds of portraits are in fact secret passageways to other parts of the castle, the stairs not only move on their own but can also make steps disappear, so people would fall. And the most interesting thing she found: the ghosts can become corporeal enough to help defend the castle under extreme circumstances.

Hermione can only imagine what would be like to have a corporeal Bloody Baron fighting or to see Helen Ravenclaw working her magic.

**May 3rd 1997. The Wooden Bridge. Day 878**

“I thought you would be in Hogsmeade today.” Draco says when he meets her at their spot.

It makes her smile when she thinks of how many spots they have in the castle.

“I thought we could use it to spend some time together.” Hermione shrugs and Draco’s mouth quirks in a smile.

He stands behind her and wraps his arms around her waist. She’s quick to get comfortable on his chest.

The snow is all gone from the grounds and the mountains are back to green, but despite the change in the scenery, she feels the same as she felt the last time they stood there.

“Thank you for your notes.” He whispers in her ear and she blushes when her body betrays her and produces goosebumps all over.

Draco smirks and she braces herself on the rail when his hands on her belly start making their travel south.

“Draco—” she begins but he shushes her with the graze of his teeth on her ear.

“I’ve missed the feel of your skin under my fingers.” He whispers and Hermione snorts because really, the last time they had sex was less than two weeks ago, surely he couldn’t have forgotten—

Hermione loses track of what she was thinking when his fingers slide inside her pants and brush over her curls.

“Fuck.” She hisses and he chuckles.

“Do you have any idea what your reactions do to me?” Draco whispers and presses his pelvis to her back. 

“I have an idea, yeah” she breathes.

Draco’s fingers quickly find her clit and starts working on her. His movements start slow and she arches her neck on his chest, a soft moan leaves her lips.

“I love the noises you make.”

“Draco—” she gasps when one finger circles her entrance before pushing it in.

Soon another finger joins the first and he pumps her with his hands while his thumb stimulates her clit.

She doesn’t care they are in the middle of the bridge and it’s still day-time. She doesn’t care her moans get louder as he speeds up inside her. Draco asks her to keep it quiet, but she knows how worked up he gets when she can’t keep it to herself.

“Fuck Draco—So good—Ah!” She moans and he ruts behind her.

“Yes Granger, fuck yourself on my fingers,” his tongue is on her earlobe, “let the entire castle see just how completely mine you are.”

It doesn’t take her too long to come on his fingers and if it wasn’t for Draco’s arm holding her, she’d collapsed on the floor.

Hermione just hopes the wind brushing their cheeks was the only witness to what they just did.

**May 6th, 1997. Boy’s Bathroom. Day 882**

The moment Hermione sees Harry eyes shine on the mention of being alone she knows he's going to do something stupid and instead of going after Professor Vector, she decides to follow him instead. 

As predicted, he goes to the Seventh-Floor corridor and stops in front of it. Hermione hides behind a wall and watches as he walks three times in front of it and then sighs, not being able to get in again. Harry looks at the map and gasps, he hurries back to the staircase and Hermione knows Harry too well to know when the boy is walking with intent. He goes down to the sixth floor, with Hermione following behind and making sure to stay hidden. Hermione realizes how stupid her plan was in midst of pursuit, since he has the map and he can easily see her name just a few steps behind his. Hermione guesses harry's eyes are not straying too far from the name that probably spells Draco Malfoy.

Harry enters the boy’s bathroom and Hermione sighs, thinking that maybe Harry just needed to use the bathroom. But before the thought can be fully processed, she hears a crash and a scream coming from the inside and dashes to the bathroom.

Inside, the sight leaves her standing in shock. Harry and Draco are dueling, throwing curses at one another. Harry quickly catches sight of her.

“What are you doing in here?” He asks angrily, after hiding behind a stall to avoid a hex. Hermione isn't so worried about getting hit, if Draco casts something in her direction on purpose, she'll hex his balls off.

“Following you!” She hisses, “and good thing I did too!” But apparently, that's the wrong thing to say because Harry gets up from the floor and shoots another spell at Draco. Hermione holds her breath when she hears it hit the mirror behind Draco.

Moaning Myrtle is squealing and crying, screaming her lungs out trying to make them stop and weirdly, begging Harry to not attack Draco.

A jinx explodes a cistern close to Draco after he deflected the spell.

“ _Stupefy!_ ” Draco yells as he points his wand in her direction and she deflects it almost too late, not before gasping in outrage.

Harry, angry at Draco’s new aim shoots a Leg-Lock curse at him, that is deflected and goes straight at Myrtle, whom wails loudly and splashes water, drenching them.

“ _Cru—_ " Draco starts

“Oh no, you won’t!” She screams and before she can cast something to stop him from finishing the spell, Harry bellows a spell that she has never heard before.

_“Secctumsempra!”_

The scream that leaves Hermione’s throat might be not considered human; she is sure she had never made a sound like that in her life. Blood spurts from Draco’s face and chest and he collapses on the ground, thrashing, the gashes getting larger by the second and his white shirt is now red with blood. 

Hermione hears Harry gasp somewhere around her.

She runs to him, her eyes blurred with tears and kneels beside him, her knees on the pool of his blood. Hermione, shakily tries to heal him, muttering all the enchantments she had read, but nothing seems to work.

Hermione can only see blood. _His blood._

“Hermione—" Draco whispers and his face is deathly white and the blood on his skin is crimson. Hermione cries harder, his hands shakes uncontrollably on his chest, trying to keep the blood from flowing and Hermione holds one of his hand, she vaguely notices Harry kneeling beside her.

“Shh—please—don’t.” She cries and she feels a faint squeeze on her hand, her other hand goes to his hair, “Hey, don’t you dare.” She whispers as she runs her fingers through his blooded and drenched hair. 

Hermione is panicking, her control is starting to slip from her. Not a single spell she tries works and the blood won't stop coming out. Myrtle screams murder around them and Hermione can't shake the boiling rage inside of her, that mixes with a pain that is physical, she can feel it in every bone. The thought of him dying, right here on a bathroom floor can leave her mind and she can only think of all the things she haven't said and haven't done. Tears keep falling and it's only later, when hands drags her away from him, she realizes that the screaming wasn’t Myrtle’s anymore.

Harry had pulled her back and Professor Snape is muttering some song-like incantation she hadn’t heard before and she watches, transfixed, as the blood seems to stop flowing out of him and slowly goes back to Draco’s body. Professor Snape keeps muttering and Hermione breathes in relief when the gashes are now being knitted together and by the third time Snape mutters the counter spell, Draco is back awake and being tilted into a sitting position. 

“You will need to go to Madam Pomfrey." He tells a paler than usual Draco, "there will be scarring. But if you take dittany immediately we can avoid some of that.” Snape says as he helps the boy into the stretcher he conjured, “I’m sure Miss Granger can take you there as soon as she stops wailing.” Snape turns to her then and she nods desperately. She doesn't spare a look at Harry when she gets up. She will deal with him later. 

She points her shaking wand to the stretcher and makes it follow her. The moment she crosses the bathroom door, she hears Professor Snape livid voice:

“Now, Potter—"

**May 6th, 1997. Hospital Wing. Day 882**

Hermione only crossed a handful of students, who gasped and muttered at the sight of her bloodied self and Draco floating beside of her, even more bloodied.

Madam Pomfrey screams when she sees them and, with a professionalism Hermione envies, sets to work. Hermione has half a mind to mutter the words Snape had asked to tell the Healer, explaining what he did and what the Matron needed to do.

Hermione stands there, in the middle of the infirmary, lost. The recent events still playing on her head. She's still shaking and a new wave of tears start falling when she look at her hands, covered in his blood. She doesn't know for how long she stood there, numb, but after what seemed like seconds, Madam Pomfrey comes for her and guides her to a bed.

“I’m okay.” She mumbles, “none of this is mine.”

“Oh, I know dear,” she says in a soft voice, “Mr. Malfoy filled me in after you stopped answering.”

She had stopped answering? Draco was talking? 

Hermione looks at where he is and finds him, covered in bandages and in new clothes, looking worriedly at her.

“You scared me there.” He says with a small smile and Hermione sets off crying again. Draco looks startled and turns to Madam Pomfrey.

“It’s just shock,” Hermione hears the Healer explain and the woman tries to sooth Hermione as she cleans and dries her.

“I scared you?” Hermione asks, her voice choked, “you almost died and I scared you?” She asks again and the anger that had been simmering until now, seems to break through.

“Now, now” Madam Pomfrey hurries to calm her, “drink this Miss Granger, it will calm you down, Mr. Malfoy is completely fine now, it was a scare, but he’s ok.”

But Hermione doesn't hear, she gets up from her bed, hurries past a now disgruntled Madam Pomfrey and throws herself at him--she does remember to be careful and not crush the bandage on his chest.

“I thought you were dying.” She cries on his neck, her hands balled on his shirt, “you were dead, I—" Hermione hears Madam Pomfrey gasp in surprise before leaving them alone.

“I’m okay Granger, didn’t you hear Madam Pomfrey? It will be just like a scratch, as if it was Crooks’ paw that slashed me.” He says soothingly while his fingers run through her hair and his arms are around her.

“I can’t lose you,” she whispers and it shocks her how truth that statement is.

They were a mess. This entire year, was a mess, they had spent weeks not talking, that if bundled together became months. They yelled at each other with a passion, the same passion in which they fought, cried and loved. 

But Hermione knows then, that she can never let him go and it terrifies her, because she doesn’t know what to do with the feeling. So, she hugs him tighter, trying to imprint on her mind how she feels in his arms, how safe it is to be held by him, for when their time it’s over and she’s alone she will remember this. She will remember his arms and his perfume and his hands on her hair.

“You won’t Granger,” he whispers and raises her head, so that she is looking at him, “the battle for you within myself, was fought so desperately since the beginning, and so many times, that I do not believe I will ever be anything but yours. I showed you my heart and you got your hand wrapped around every broken piece, it is yours, as small as it probably is, but still, you are carved in every part of my heart.”

She looks at him and he’s still a little bit pale, and she can see a small scar on the bridge of his nose and one along his jawline, and he’s never looked so beautiful. Hermione traces the length of the scar on his jawline and kisses the one on his nose and smiles softly at him, the fear of losing him now subdued, being replaced by how much she loves him. 

Draco smiles at her and his eyes are so full of love that she doesn’t care he only said it once, because she knows how he feels and he’s never really been good at saying what he feels, so Hermione understands the silent ‘I love you’ his eyes show her and the ‘I love you’ his fingers mark on her cheeks. 

And she’s more certain than she's ever been in her life. Right now, Hermione knows he loves her, not because of how he’s looking at her now, but in the quiet way he has been saying it all this time: in the way he watches her with a small smile playing on hips lips and soft eyes, every time she reads. She knows Draco loves her something terrible, because for the past weeks, he’s been holding her longer and tighter than usual and only falling asleep after he’s sure she’s sleeping. Merlin, he loves her something beautiful when he wax poetic on her body, worshipping every inch of skin with his mouth and making her writhe on the bed and having her believing she’s only complete when he is filling her and his mouth is hot on hers.

**May 8th, 1997. Fat Lady's Portrait. Day 884**

Draco needed to stay for one more day in the Hospital Wing, just in case. Hermione wondered what Snape did because no one knew what happened. The students she crossed that day seemed to have all forgotten the incident altogether. 

The only thing people talked about was how suddenly Gryffindor had not a single point left.

Ron keeps asking Harry if he knows anything, but Harry only shakes his head and remains quiet. He can't look Hermione in the eye and for once, she's glad. She might hex him if he did.

Their walk to the common room is quiet, Harry is fidgeting, and Ron won’t shut up about what could’ve happened. Hermione wants to leave the boys but she’s out of excuses, so she bears it.

Ron is the first to cross it, still talking and he doesn't notice Harry behind him stoping and closing the portrait. “Hermione,” Harry calls after they are separated from Ron.

“What?” 

“I didn’t know. About the spell. I didn’t know what would do.”

“Where did you find it?” She asks, Harry looks down at his feet. “Was it in the book, wasn’t it?”

Harry nods and Hermione is seconds away from shrieking.

“Do you believe in me now when I say that book is dangerous?”

“I—”

“How did you think of using it?”

“It was written in one of the pages—it said ‘for enemies’.”

For enemies. And Harry just thought of using it on Draco without knowing what it did.

“You could’ve killed him Harry.” Hermione says and she’s glad he’s still looking down on his feet and doesn’t see how her eyes are watering.

“I know. I never thought—Hermione, I never wanted to kill Malfoy.”

“I know Harry.” Hermione sighs, “I know.”

“I won’t use any spell I find there without knowing what it does first, I—”

“Harry! You can’t possible mean that you will keep it?”

“Not everything from there is bad Hermione! It really helped me with potions this year! I just need to be more careful!”

“You can’t be serious?” 

“If I give back the book everyone will know I faked the entire year and—”

Ron’s head appear through the portrait again and both of them stop speaking.

“What are you guys doing?”

“I forgot something. Harry was waiting for me.” Hermione says hastily and pushes past Ron to get inside the common room.

She has tears in her eyes and is not because of Draco but because of Harry’s stubbornness and neglect with people’s safety.

 

**May 9th, 1997. Room of Requirement. Day 885**

The second he crosses the door Hermione is up and jumping on him. She wraps her arms around his neck and whispers nonsense on his neck. 

Draco is taken back and takes him a few seconds to react and embrace her. 

“Granger, I’m okay now.” She doesn’t reply, just keep crying on his neck. “Shh, it’s okay sweetheart, I’m okay.”

It takes her a few minutes to finally detangle from him and when she does, she inspects every corner of his face.

“You will commit me to memory if you keep like this.”

“I already have.” She whispers, he smiles his ‘Hermione smile’, the one she loves the most in the world.

“You precious thing.” He murmurs and kisses her deeply.

His hands never leave her face and Hermione keeps hers on the collar of his shirt. They walk blindly towards the bed and they fall gracelessly on top of it, breaking the kiss to kick their shoes off.

They resume their kissing on the bed, now hands roaming freely on their bodies. Draco caresses her arms, tangles their fingers together with one hand and with the other explore the expanse of her belly. Hermione’s legs wrap around his hips and one hand holds the nape of his hair.

Draco turns them around and Hermione sits on top of him. She removes his shirt and kisses the extension of every new scar there; Draco groans and she can see goosebumps where her lips meet the scarred skin. His hands hold her hips in place and he has his eyes closed.

Hermione thinks he’s the most beautiful creature she’s ever seen, “You are beautiful.” She blurts and Draco opens one eye to squint at her.

“You only realized that now?” He jokes and she chuckles,

“Since I’m not blind, I’ve known that before I even got to kiss you,” she replies and it’s his turn to laugh, head thrown back, eyes closed. Hermione kisses his throat.

She has an idea when she feels his dick twitch under her. In fact, she’s been thinking about it for a while now. One night she pretended to be asleep and heard Parvati talk about it and since then it’s been on her mind.

“What?” He asks, Hermione realizes she’s just staring at him

“I—” She starts but she doesn’t know how to say it, she doesn’t think just blurting out ‘I want to suck your dick’ is the proper thing to say.

Hermione scoots lower, so she’s sitting on his thigs and when she unbuttons the first button on Draco’s pants, his breath hitches and his dick twitches in curiosity.

“Granger—”

“I’ve wanted to try it for a while—” Draco groans.

“Merlin you are going to be the death of me.” He says, one hand messing his hair.

“Why?” She whispers, her cheeks blushing.

“You just said you’ve been thinking of sucking me off for a while. How can I live now with this image on my head?”

Hermione blushes harder and looks down at the growing bulge on his pants.

“Do you want me to?” She asks nervously.

“Do I want you to?” He asks baffled, “Merlin, I’ve dreamed of it countless times.” He confesses.

Maybe it’s the darkened eyes, now with no blue left or the desire in his expression, but whether it is, it does for her.

Hermione pulls both Draco’s trousers and underwear down and wraps his dick on her hand when it jerks free. Draco gasps and when they lock eyes she notices how much his anticipating this.

“I’ve never—I—”

“Hermione I’m close with just the idea of your mouth around my cock, I won’t be a judge for your cock-sucking skills.”

“Tell me if I do anything wrong.” She asks and Draco just nods and shuffles on the bed, so he can watch her better.

She jerks him off a few times, spreads pre come on his shaft before lowering her head. She gives a experimental lick and the flavor she finds there is not much different from what she felt when he kissed her after going down on her. Draco groans above her.

Hermione tries again, going the entire extension of his shaft and then circling his head with her tongue. She gives a tiny kiss to the tip before putting it on her mouth and sucking it. She starts slow, getting used with the feel of it in her mouth. Hermione twirls her tongue while bobbing her head up and down, every time trying to go a little more, testing her gag reflex.

“Merlin Granger,” Draco moans, “This world has yet to invent something you can’t do.” He mumbles and she giggles, with causes her to gag a little.

Slowly, she picks up the pace, going faster as Draco’s reactions grow louder. Draco grabs her hair from her face and when she looks up to him, he gives a mighty moan and thrusts unconsciously on her mouth. She’s positive she looks filthy right now.

Draco, with one hand, takes hold of her hair and with the other guides Hermione. He doesn’t push her down, just adjust the rhythm.

Hermione is surprised to realize she has a really good gag reflex and is able to take the majority of him without spluttering, Draco also seems to find it fascinating. He’s never been so vocal.

“Merlin Granger, fuck, I’m so close--Ah—Come here.” He suddenly pulls her from his cock with a wet plop and smash their lips together.

He kisses her furiously, his hands expertly undressing her.

“Merlin you are sinful. This mouth of yours—” he bits lightly her lower lip, Hermione moans, “it’s pure sin.”

They resume their kissing and Hermione’s shirt is ripped somewhere around the room alongside her underwear.

They start moving against each other, his throbbing dick rubbing against her wet folds. 

“I want you to ride me.” He growls on her ear and she nods.

Hermione positions herself on top of him and he thrust inside her in one go, she screams in pleasure when he hits her spot immediately.

They are quick to find a rhythm, him thrusting up, the moment she sinks on him. Hermione’s back is arched, and both hands are on each of his thighs, Draco kisses her belly, the space between her tits and sucks on her breasts.

She moans loudly, with every thrust hitting her spot over and over again. 

Hermione loves when Draco is close because he gets romantic and says stuff like:

“Our bodies were made to be this close,” he whispers, lips on her collarbone.

Hermione finds his lips with hers and they kiss and kiss and kiss. 

After they come and are both spent on their bed, limbs tangled and looking at each other, Draco traces her face with his finger.

“Hermione… I want you to remember my secrets, how I gave them all to you. Remember how I took apart my pride, inch by inch, piece by piece. Remember how I tore down my shield for you when you asked, ‘what am I for you?’ and I told you ‘my redemption’.

“I will remember everything.” She whispers and it’s a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry again for taking so long to update and you can go straight to the next chapter because today will be a double update to compensate for the huge delay.


	39. Thirty Nine

**November 15th, 2003. Malfoy Manor. Day 5489**

It sure was trying, Draco thought: having the Weasleys in his house, teaching classes, trying to create an impossible potion, reassure his son, mourn his daughter and be strong for Hermione, but Draco was managing.

He would be managing better if Mr. Weasley and his father would just stop arguing for a second.

The mansion is huge, there's more than enough room to all of them but Merlin, sometimes Draco thinks that having Voldemort in the house was less stressing than having eight Weasleys as guests.

The only ones who seem to be having a blast are the kids and George Wesley, who played with them in every possible square of the Manor.

If it wasn’t enough, Blaise and Theo often came over on the weekends because, apparently, his house had become an Inn.

Draco plops down on his bed and sighs loudly. 

“Well, isn’t this a mature display of behavior.” Weasley says from his door and Draco's snarls.

“What the fuck are you doing in my wing?” He asks, his face showing the usual scoff and air of superiority, there's no sign of him being pathetic moments from ago.

“It’s the only place that doesn’t feel crowded.” 

Draco scoffs. “That’s rich coming from you Weasley.” He says and he knows Hermione would have rolled her eyes at him.

“I wanted to talk with you Malfoy.” Weasley says, ignoring his jab.

“About what?”

Weasley takes that as an invitation to enter the room and makes himself comfortable in one of his armchairs. Draco raises an eyebrow at him.

“What do we have in common Malfoy?”

“Nothing.” Draco replies promptly.

“Merlin knows how I wish that was true.”

“Alright Weasley, say it. Surely you must know talking with you is the last thing on my list.”

“You know, I truly wonder what the fuck she saw on you, because it doesn’t matter how I look, you are an insufferable prat.”

“I fail to believe you came here to talk about my charms.”

“You are right. I want to talk about Hermione. I love her. I’ve loved her for longer than you did. I will keep loving her for a long time, but she chose you. I don’t know what possessed her to, but she loves you and I will kill you if you hurt her. So, Malfoy, you better treat her right. You better treat her like she deserves and pray that you don’t mess up. Because I will be waiting for you to fuck up.”

Draco’s jaw tenses and he has his hands in a fist. He wants to punch Weasley’s stupid face and drag him away from his room, from his house.

 _How dare him?_ How dare him say he’d be waiting for him to fail? Merlin knows he has enough insecurities about being deserving of her. He doesn't need stupid Weasley.

“I will marry her Weasley. I will marry her, and we will have the life that we deserve together. You can wait all you want. I’m done making mistakes with her, you had your chance.” He almost growls, “now get the fuck out of my room.”

**November 20th, 2003. Potions Office. Day 5494**

The whole day, Draco had been feeling weird, like something is wrong. He had a hard time focusing on his lessons and now with the others brewing the potions, he still hadn’t shaken that feeling off.

Trust Astoria to set his alarms off. Her visit two nights ago was draining. The show she put on inside his office, the crying and the yelling, had left his ears ringing for hours. She had left with ‘you will regret this’ as parting words and until now, Draco hadn’t heard from her. He had asked Daphne, but the girl hadn’t seen her sister in the last few days.

So the moment McGonagall barged in the office looking disheveled he knew that whatever it was, it was Astoria’s doing.

“Draco, you need to go to the Manor, right now.” 

He didn’t even ask why, just took his wand and the latest batch of potions he and the others had brewed and went to the fireplace.

**November 20th, 2003. The Malfoy Manor. Day 5494**

When Draco arrives at his house, he's met with chaos.

Blaise and Potter are arguing about St. Mungo’s, his mother is arguing with Daphne – of all people – and Theo is in the fine line of being polite and wanting to hex someone.

“By Merlin’s beard what is going on?” Draco exclaims and suddenly all the shouting turns to his person.

Caelum runs and latches on his leg.

“Your bloody girlfriend happened!” Weasley explodes.

Daphne cries louder, “I’m so sorry Draco! So sorry! She’s not—she’s not on her right mind—I’m—”

“Daph, calm down, whatever your sister did, it’s not your fault.” He says and looks from Potter to Blaise, waiting for either to explain.

“I was undercover at The White Wyvern in Knockturn Alley when Astoria walked in—” It's George Weasley who starts, “she sat with two former Slytherins and that Gryffindor Hermione dated for a while—” both Draco and Weasley snarl at this, “McLaggen! Yeah, it was McLaggen—Anyways, she told them that the last time she was at the Manor there were talk of making Hermione the Secret Keeper, but since she had been forbidden to visit the Manor, she didn’t know for sure.”

“—And McLaggen was in our list of suspects.” Theo says.

“When was that?” Draco asks nervously, if all of them are here, they're wasting time.

“Just now. I came back as soon as I heard it. Asked McGonagall to call you.”

“And you?” Draco asks Blaise. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at St. Mungo’s?” He snaps at Blaise and his friend merely acknowledged his behavior.

“Potter called. He wants to move Hermione. Bring her here.” So that was what they were arguing.

“And?” He presses. 

“I can’t. She’s a high-level patient. There’re ministry officers in her corridor and her treatment… The Manor has a nice infirmary, but it was last used for—” he hesitates, looks at the Malfoys and Draco sighs.

“For not so savory experiments.” Draco rubs at his face. “It will take too long for us to clean it and remove every dark spell and curse that was used there—”

“You guys never cleaned?” Arthur Weasley asked Draco’s father. Oh, great.

“It’s not like I have permission to get in that room!” Lucius exclaims and all eyes are now on them.

“What?” Ginny Weasley asks.

“There are at least four or five rooms that we cannot get inside. Ministry rules, so that we could keep the Manor. Voldemort’s quarter is one of them. We can’t get in and the mighty ministry officers keep postponing the visit to remove any Dark traces.” Draco explains and at least six people winces.

Great. That’s what his family needs right now. Pity from the Weasleys.

“My house is not the topic. Hermione is.” He chastises, “I have a potion that we brewed last night,” he puts it on the table, “we all agreed that it was it. That it was the one.” He says

“Draco—” Blaise starts. “It hasn’t been tested.” He almost whispers.

“I know.”

And it was like everyone there finally understood why he had been this calm. He can feel it. This potion is what they were working for all these weeks and hours. 

“You are not giving her a potion that hasn’t been tested.” Weasley said with a finger pointed at him.

“Take your fucking finger off my face.” He snarls.

“Caelum, Draco.” His mother says.

“It revived a cat last night.” Potter murmurs. Weasley never looked so betrayed.

“But cats and humans are different. The effects—” Blaise stresses, “Draco, George told me the ingredients you used. It could be deadly.”

“It’s not. I’m certain of it.” 

“You cannot be certain without testing it first.” Ginny says.

Why are there so many Weasleys participating on this conversation?

“I talked with Snape—”

“You did what?” Potter, Lucius and Arthur asks at the same time.

“His portrait at McGonagall’s office. I showed to him, he—”

“It’s a memoir. Only a memoir.” Potter starts, and he's sure he's not the only one who heard Hermione’s tone on his voice. “It’s a support mechanism to the current headmaster, but it cannot be mistaken for the actual person.”

“It has his memories. His knowledge in potions—”

“But a painting can’t test a potion Draco.”

“How long does it take to test?” Narcissa asks.

“It depends. The ones they’ve been brewing these months? Hours to days.” Blaise explains, one hand coming to his hair, a stress habit he started in school. “The ingredients they use are not in day-to-day potions, they are messing with love in it’s purest form—”

“What are the odds?” Potter asks.

“The odds in favor are higher. The potions until now—they’ve been incredible. All of you could give up on your daily jobs and become potion masters but—” whatever he was going to say is interrupted by a Patronus.

 _“Harry! They are attacking the hospital. They put Anti-Apparating wards around the building. The only entries are through the muggle street and via Flu. I’m trying to get my parents out. Send help!”_ Longbotton’s voice echoes around the room and in seconds everyone starts moving.

“Caelum!” Narcissa screams, “Where’s Caelum?” 

Draco freezes. He looks down at his leg where his son had been clutching until now and finds the blond head missing. He had been here just now.

“Caelum?” He calls and all the fear he had been suppressing until now, shows on his voice.

“The potion! Is gone!” Ginny points to the table.

“That sneaky boy.” Lucius murmurs.

“I will go to St. Mungo’s try to find him. Mum, search the house in case he’s still here.” Draco says and Narcissa quickly puts all the elves in search of Caelum.

“Does he know how to use the Flu?” Weasley asks.

“Of course, he knows.” Draco snarls, “he’s been using to visit his mum since he was three.”

“I will go with you.” Potter says and Blaise, Theo, Ginny, George and Weasley also nod.

“Then make a fucking line.” He says once he steps inside the fireplace, “St. Mungo’s!”

 

**November 20th, 2003. St. Mungo’s. Day 5494**

The moment he steps out of the flames he casts a protego to avoid the curse flying in his direction. _Merlin, his boy is here._

Healers and patients run through the corridors and a heavy smoke already hangs in the air, flashes of spells hits the walls and destroys chairs.

Draco takes the stairs to Hermione’s floor, two at a time, cursing the last time he went for a run.

“Malfoy! They are after Hermione!” Neville calls when they pass each other, he's trying to pull along his parents, but neither of them understand the situation to cooperate.

“Have you seen Caelum?" He asks, but doesn't slow down.

"What? Caelum? No!" He says and Longbotton's father turns to go to the opposite direction Neville is trying to pull him.

"Longbottom, you will die like this!”

“I can’t leave them behind!”

“Put them under an Imperius, make them run—” he looks over Longbottom’s shoulder and finds Adrian Pucey with a wand pointed towards them, _“Stupefy!”_

“I—” Draco shakes the man in front of him.

“They killed your wife Neville. Your parents are sick, but these people seem to not care. You want them to run, so make then RUN!”

Neville nods and points a shaking wand towards his oblivious parents. 

_“Imperio!”_ Draco screams, both Alice and Frank Longbottom starts moving towards the stairs. “Go! Get them out of here!”

Draco runs the last meters to Hermione’s room and finds the minister’s officers Stupefied on the floor and her door blasted open. His heart freezes on his chest.

“Well, well, well. If isn’t exactly who I wanted to see” McLaggen smiles, his wand on Draco’s chest.

“Where is she?” Draco asks in gritted teeth.

Her room is a mess. Both chairs are broken, her closet is smashed on the floor, the water from the sink is splashing on the floor where the basin lay broken.

“Do you want to know what her last words were?” McLaggen asks and Draco forgets that he's a wizard and jumps on him.

Both wands scatter, and they throw punches on each other.

“Have been laying with her so much you forgot how to fight like a wizard? Became a pig now?” McLaggen splutters, his mouth bloody.

“Where is she?” Draco asks again, sitting on top of him, binding McLaggen’s arms with his legs.

McLaggen laughs, “You will die Malfoy. You and your family—”

 _“Accio Wand!”_ He casts and his wand flies to his hand, “yes McLaggen, Death Eaters know wandless magic, do you want to see what else can I do?” He asks, pointing his wand to the bastard’s throat.

“You will never find her if you kill me.” McLaggen laughs again.

Something explodes a few floors down, making the whole building shake.

“What kind of sick people are you? Attacking a hospital? Attacking people who can’t defend themselves.”

“You killed children!” He screams

“I’ve killed no one!”

“Does this place look like someone who wasn’t able to defend herself was in?” 

Draco looks around again, Hermione’s boots are gone and the potions that she kept on her bedside table are also missing. 

Draco smiles.

“You don’t have her.” He says, “You piece of shit lost to a sick patient.” Draco cackles and McLaggen’s eyes darken.

“I shouldn’t have tried to fuck her before killing her.” He cackles and Draco throws a well-aimed punch on his face before stupefying him.

_“Incarcerous!”_

“Malfoy!” Potter appears by the door, his face whitening at the sight of the room.

“She’s not here. She managed to escape.” Draco murmurs on the floor, head on his knees. He's about to vomit, the mental image of McLaggen trying to force himself on Hermione bringing back old memories.

“Caelum?” 

“I don’t know.” He looks up, “I don’t know.” Draco mumbles and when he looks at Potter, he cries.

Potter crosses the few steps and kneels beside him, putting both hands on Draco’s shoulders.

“We will find them.” Potter says, “The Fidelius still up, Hermione’s alive. Narcissa is watching the family tree, she will send a Patronus if anything changes.”

“I can’t lose them.” Draco whispers, “I can’t lose them.”

“You won’t. They are together. Hermione took them out. We will find them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand that's it!! I'll be back next Friday! please please comment, I love reading your thoughts!!


	40. Forty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooo  
> this chapter is a nice break from the angst we've going on, just a little bit of happiness for our favorite angsty couple.

**June 1st, 1997. The Library. Day 915**

With them entering June, it meant that Hermione was close to losing her mind. The exams were mere weeks away and she and Draco were spending every single spare second with doing their tasks.

She has a pile of books on top of the table, Daphne is looking at her like she's insane and momentarily, Hermione agrees with her. Only an insane person would ask a professor to make a mock N.E.W.T test as her exam so she could practice.

It has been at least two weeks since she slept more than four hours each night and it's catching up on her. But Hermione won't stop now, she'll stop during summer holidays. Once the summer holidays arrive, she'll spend at least a week doing absolutely nothing. But right now? Right now she's studying.

Daphne exchanges worried looks with Blaise but remains quiet, soon both of them go back to their study plan carefully laid out to them by Hermione.

At least she finds solace in knowing that some people use her study plans. Hermione growls with the thought and both Blaise and Daphne jump.

“Sorry” Hermione mutters and resumes her reading.

 

**June 5th, 1997. DADA Classroom. Day 919**

Despite whatever her Slytherin’s friends were saying, Hermione was still sane. And since it's Draco’s birthday, she ought to do something for him. Something nice.

That’s why she had decided to forgone studying for the day and spend it with Draco.

A few days ago she had asked Daphne for a gala dress and Blaise for a formal robe for Draco. She had everything planned: they were going to spend an entire day doing everything they couldn’t do in real life.

They would create an entire world for them inside the Room of Requirement. She would make them a ball, and then an island--Hermione still needed to be sure the Room would be able to provide them that, but since it hasn’t failed them before, she had high hopes.

Snape’s class is the last of the day and she's squirming in her seat with excitement. The only thing she still needs for her plan to be perfect is an alibi. Disappearing from the tower for an entire weekend seemed impossible without outside help.

So, obviously, her only choice was going to Snape, since the professor knew about her and Draco and he was scary enough that Harry and Ron wouldn’t doubt him. The only problem with the plan is how to approach the professor, she's he’d hate it. 

When the class ends, Hermione almost jumps on her seat, her mind had gone miles away during the last minutes, trying to come up with ways to ask Snape.

“Hermione, you coming?” Harry asks.

“Not yet, Professor Snape said he has something he wishes to speak with me.” She explains and keeps her face still when she sees Harry wincing before nodding.

They bid their farewells and when she turns to look at her professor, he's looking at her with a curious expression.

The only good side about Defense Against the Dark Arts with Snape--beside him being an extremely knowledgeable teacher, is that the moment the class ends, the students don't waste a single second to get out of the classroom. “You heard it.” She blurts out once it's only the two of them.

“I don’t have anything I wish to discuss with you.” He says surly.

“Today is Draco’s birthday.”

“If you are planning to invite me to whatever it is you’ve been insanely planning these last few days, forget it.” 

Hermione thinks of Snape attending their ball or relaxing on the beach next to them and she almost pukeS. Snape raises a single eyebrow in her direction.

“I can’t read your mind anymore.” He says and Hermione notices a hint of approval in his tone.

“Draco taught me.”

“You are a better learner than Potter— _not that it surprises me_ —” and now she's sure it's a compliment. They've come a long way from where they started, with him bullying her and making her cry.

“I need an alibi. I’ve planned something, and it will take the whole weekend. I can’t tell Harry and Ron and—”

“I will inform McGonagall that you will be starting a weekend long apprentice with me from today.” He says and Hermione looks at him dumbfound. “You asked her to have a mock N.E.W.T for your final exam right? I will say you asked the same—” she opens her mouth to ask if she could have it as well in Defense when he gave her an exasperated look, “—I already will give you a different exam from the rest Miss Granger, don’t worry. Anyways, I will say that I’m going to teach you how to forage and find your own ingredients—you want that now, don’t you?”

Hermione nods excitedly and Snape almost smiles, his lips quirking up slightly.

He looks like he's remembering something, and she wonders if it is about the same person that made him look pained the last time they talked. He has the same forlorn expression and his eyes seem to stare at years in the past.

“Do I remind you of her?” She asks timidly and almost regrets it, because Snape closes off instantly.

“Painfully so.” It’s his reply. “I will be your alibi and I will take you foraging in the Forbidden Forest the next full moon, it’s in a few days and I need a hand anyways.”

“Thank you so much Professor!” She exclaims excitedly.

“Leave now Miss Granger.”

 

**June 5th, 1997. Room of Requirement. Day 919**

Their friends are already inside when they arrive. Draco stares dumbly at what the Room had became. Even Hermione is impressed.

The Room became a ballroom, not so big so it doesn’t feel empty with just the six of them. There’s a big party globe in the middle of the ceiling and a radio somewhere plays Wicked Sisters’ songs. There are two sofas by the corner, with a side table in-between. A few ottomans are scattered around and in one corner there’s a bar. Everything is decorated in shades of green and silver.

“Happy birthday!” Pansy, Daphne, Blaise and Theo exclaim when they see him. They all crowd him and gives hugs and pats on his shoulder.

“What—”

“We planned it for you,” Blaise starts, “it was the girlfriend mostly, but we all helped. Go now, you two have to change, this isn’t a ball if you are wearing school robes.” He hands Draco the robes at the same time Daphne hands Hermione the dress.

After changing, it’s drinks they are handed and Hermione knows better than to ask where they got it.

“Let’s dance!” Daphne says happily and the six of them goes to the middle of the dance floor.

They all laugh and dance and Blaise is busy with filling their glasses at any given chance and they are all drunk way too fast.

“You are crazy,” he says, mouth on her ear.

“I know. I love you.” She jokes and he smiles brightly, they laugh as he twirls her and it’s perfect.

Hermione didn’t think it was possible to smile this bright, but she sees the way Draco’s eyes almost disappear with how hard he is smiling and there’s laughter in his mouth. She kisses the corner of his mouth and he hugs her tightly and twirls them both until they stumble on their friends. 

Their dancing soon escalates to a fashion show where Blaise, Pansy and Daphne pretends to be in a catwalk and Hermione, Theo and Draco are the judges. They walk up and down the room, Blaise swaying a lot more than it’s necessary and Theo exclaims excessively and send kisses in his direction.

“Merlin, it feels like years since I had this much fun” Pansy confesses, she’s sprawled on one of the sofas, Daphne is cuddling her. Everyone is too drunk to care how their dress robes are way too high on their thighs.

“Indeed.” Draco says on his place sprawled on the floor. Hermione’s head rests on his chest.

“It finally finished.” Blaise says and they all look to where he stands with the last two bottles on his hand, both empty.

“I think we outdrank the kitchens.” Theo giggles and then all of them laugh merrily.

“Granger!” Pansy shrieks and Daphne almost falls from the sofa when the raven haired girl jumps.

“Indoor voice Parkinson.” Blaise says, a finger on his ear.

“It’s time for part two!” She says, showing three fingers in Hermione’s direction.

“Oooh!” Blaise says excitedly and grabs Daphne by her feet to get her up, which only causes her to fall on her ass on top of Theo.

“What part two?” Draco asks curiously.

“We still don’t know if it will work—" Hermione starts.

“It will! Look at this!” Blaise suggests to everything around them.

“Come on, come on,” Daphne jumps up and down and starts dragging Theo with her.

“Where?” Draco asks and also gets up.

They all move towards the door.

Hermione thinks she'd trust this more if they were all sober, so whatever problems might be on them, instead of the Room's capabilities. 

“Your island. The others all have been there. You’ve mentioned you wanted to take me there. The five of you think of it and we will see if the Room will comply.

Draco’s eyes shine excitedly, and it's his turn to grab and pull her towards the door.

They make sure the corridor is empty before leaving and the five of them close their eyes in front of the now invisible door. Hermione stands a little behind, waiting for them. She gasps when the door appears and all of them look at the other mischievously.

“Do you think—” Pansy starts.

“There’s only one way to know.” Blaise says and opens the door.

Inside, it’s nothing like Hermione has ever seen. The Room feels infinite. They are suddenly standing on white sand and in front of their eyes is an infinite ocean. Hermione has never seen water that blue.

On her left there’s a small cabin and on her right there’s a few trees scattered. If she looks up, her vision gets blinded by the sun.

It’s all very impossible but it’s there. All in front of her. For them. For Draco.

They all stare at the impossible in front of them, no one says a single word. Draco grabs her hand and squeezes tight.

It’s crazy, how magic is infinite. Here they are, inside a castle in the Scottish Highlands but at the same time they are standing on a beach in one of the Greek Islands. They are wearing formal robes on the sand.

Daphne is crying and Theo hugs her from behind, he whispers “I finally found something more beautiful than you” and the moment breaks as they all laugh.

Pansy screams that there are swimsuits and Blaise start stripping off his clothes and all but runs in the direction of the water.

“Come,” Draco says softly in midst of the chaos that are their friends. They walk together towards the cabin.

It’s bigger on the inside and there’s three rooms inside. It’s very cozy and nothing fancy like she imagined it would be.

“Pansy will flip when she sees that she will have to share with Blaise.” Draco snorts.

They find swimsuits on top of the bed that Hermione assumes it’s Draco’s and they quickly change when they hear loud laughter coming from outside.

“Thank you, Granger.” He says after they are both changed, “Really. I know I’ve said it but—I’m so grateful that you are in my life. I—I wish wholeheartedly that we can come out alive and together on the other side.”

“We will.” She says vehemently.

“I promise you,” he holds her cheeks softly, “I will marry you some day. I will see you in white and will shower you with everything you ever wanted.” He says. “Do you want to be Minister of Magic? I will buy it for you.”

She giggles and entwines her fingers on his. “I’m not so sure about the Ministry position, but I will have to raincheck on that offer,” she jokes and it’s almost delirious how light their voices are.

They can smell the salt water and feel the heat coming from outside the cabin that is all too impossible in the Scottish Highlands.

“Let’s join our friends.” He says and she nods.

They both walk towards them hand in hand and it shouldn’t make them feel that elated, but just from not being in a closed room or hidden in a dorm, and be able to hold hands in the open, even if it’s all fake, feels staggering.

“Zabini, are these your clothes on the sand?” Draco asks when he notices a pile of discarded clothes just a few feet from the water.

“What are they doing there?” He asks shamelessly.

“Are you naked in the water?” Hermione asks started,

“Want to check?” He makes exaggerated expressions and she almost chokes on laughter.

“Are you having a seizure over there?” Pansy asks disgusted behind them.

Hermione’s mouth falls open at the sight of her. She appears from the cabin wearing a gorgeous black muggle bikini and Hermione envies the girl’s flawless body as she flaunts it. 

As the raven-haired girl passes through them swinging her hips more than what's necessary Hermione feels self-conscious enough to try to cover her body.

Draco feels her trying to pull her hand away from his to cover her body and he scowls at her.

“Honestly Granger, don’t you have eyes? She’s doing that because she feels threatened by you.”

Hermione just looks at him blankly and can't help blurting “What?”

“What do you mean by what?” He asks confused. “Haven’t you seen your body?”

“Yes,” she snorts, “It’s no Parkinson’s.”

It’s his turn to snort, “obviously!” He sounds as if she had just said the most absurd thing in the world, “You’ve got—” he gestures to all of her and the words catch on his throat, as if he can’t find the right words to start describing her.

She looks down at herself and the only thing she can see is her small belly and her thick thighs.

“Merlin, you are gorgeous.” He decides, “Your skin feels like silk under my fingers, I could lose hours tracing your bronze skin.” Draco’s eyes are glassed, she can almost see the memory in his eyes, “When you walk—” he shake his head, “Merlin, every time I see you walking in my direction I need to physically restrain myself because the sway of your hips is too mesmerizing and when I remember how your thighs feel around me and how soft and fluid—But your hips—they are like those waves, powerful and beautiful and uncontrollable—”

Hermione's blushing so hard that she feels like exploding. She stops his blabbering with a kiss on his mouth. “Okay Malfoy, I get it, you are bloody whipped.” She jokes

“Shut up,” he mumbles on her lips and grabs aforementioned hips.

“Ew!” Daphne exclaims, “get a room!” 

“Or do it in the water where we can’t see all the details!” Blaise yells.

They pull apart and run to their friends waiting for them in the water.

 

They have no idea how long they stay on the water or how long has the sun been up on their fake island, but as they start to feel exhausted, the sun disappears and gives space to a brilliant moon. They decided then to move their activities to the sand.

“It’s getting chilly, we should take a shower first and them make some fire and marshmallows!” Daphne suggests excitedly.

It took them almost an hour to shower and change to more comfortable clothes that suited the light breeze coming from their fake ocean. Hermione leaves Draco in the shower and decides to join her friends who are already gathered by the porch of the cabin.

“—but can you honestly say it doesn’t bother you?” Blaise asks in a quiet voice.

Pansy sighs. “It’s not like it bothers me, it’s just—” she sighs again, “sometimes I just feel this pang in the deep of my stomach when I catch the way he looks at her or how he instantly relaxes when she’s on his sight.” Pansy explains and Hermione’s heart clenches in her chest.

Pansy is talking about her and Draco. How their relationship makes her feel.

“But you don’t hate her anymore, do you?” Daphne asks, there's uncertainty in her voice. Hermione holds her breath while she waits for the girl’s answer.

“Of course not!” Pansy is quick to reply, “I adore her. She’s one of my best friends and I admire her enormously—I would be caught dead before repeating those things to her, but it’s the truth. I don’t wish her any harm, on the contrary, I bloody wish them to find the happiness they deserve.” Pansy assures, “I just need to make this ridiculous school crush disappear.”

“Well, you know better than—”

“So!” Draco suddenly exclaims from her side and quickly passes through her, his hand lightly touching her lower back in a reassuring way before moving on completely, “Are those marshmallows ready? I’m bloody hungry.”

“We were waiting for you two to start eating.” Pansy says with an easy smile and something tugs at Hermione’s chest when she sees it.

Pansy is a hell of a wonderful friend.

They talk through the night, the fire and the stairs being the only light around them as they share stories about their past. They make promises to be fulfilled in ten years-time and wonder about how their future is going to be.

It’s easy to ignore the blooming war when they are cocooned in a fake island with warm sand on their feet. It’s easy to pretend that outside these walls their world isn’t crumbling and not even the day after tomorrow is certain anymore.

They go to bed feeling lighter than they’ve felt in months, with their bellies full and eyelids heavy with good exhaustion. It might be all fake, but the warm feeling inside of every single one of them is real and the most important thing in their life right now.

 

**June 6th, 1997. Room of Requirement. Day 920**

It’s early morning—at least in their safe-haven, Hermione still has no idea how time is running in this place—and she’s wrapped around the duvet when she steps outside the cabin.

There’s a lone figure standing just after where the waves reach, and Hermione decides to join her.

She knows Pansy noticed she is approaching so she’s not surprised when the girl speaks even before Hermione is by her side.

“I felt your lingering stares all through the night yesterday. If you weren’t so bloody in love with Draco, I would have thought you had a crush.”

“I was trying to figure how to talk to you.”

“I figured.” Pansy says, eyes still on the water, as if daring it to touch her toes.

“Thank you,” Hermione starts, “and I’m sorry.”

Pansy scowls. “You Gryffindors are annoyingly good. It kind of makes me want to puke this early in the morning.”

“I mean it Pans. You are an amazing friend and I’m thankful that you are his friend and has been by his side all these years. I’m sorry he doesn’t love you in that way.”

“Are you really?” Pansy asks, finally looking at her former enemy.

“Yes. You probably will think I’m stupid—”

“I already do—”

“—but you deserve to be loved the way Draco does. I’m sorry I took him from you.”

“Don’t think too highly of yourself Granger,” Pansy scowls again and rolls her eyes, “if it wasn’t you, he would have found someone else and it still wouldn’t be me.” She says dejectedly,

“Pansy—”

I mean—” Pansy stutters. “Like you said, I’ve always been here. He never looked at me. I was conformed with it and even had accepted because I thought Draco wasn’t capable of loving someone—don’t get me wrong, he loves his family and friends dearly, but I didn’t peg him to be someone who would fall in love. He has always been too focused on his family name and what it meant. For me, Draco was going to graduate from Hogwarts, find a pureblood witch, get married so he could start making heirs for the Malfoy name. I never thought Draco would have a marriage out of love.”

“Aren’t you being too hard on him?”

“No.” She says simply. “You know it, Daphne was betrothed even before coming to Hogwarts. She was six. They didn’t have any choice but to try to be together. It was pure luck that the two of them get on so well and found themselves disgustingly in love. I was supposed to be betrothed to Draco you know? The Malfoys wanted it so bad. My mother hated the idea and convinced my father to not accept it. For many years, I hated her for that. I always knew it would never be me. But that didn’t stop me from catching feelings.

‘And you—You were a weight on the scale that we never considered possible. I truly believe he can’t love someone else the way he loves you. Even if he had never fallen in love with you and found some other girl to kip with, it wouldn’t be this love, you understand?” Hermione shakes her head, Pansy groans. “All this love he feels, he feels because it’s you. Because of everything he went through to accept it.”

“People always say that we don’t love the same way twice.”

“I’m saying that he wouldn’t be able fall in love at all. He would care and be loyal to his wife because that’s the kind of person Draco is, but to actually be in love and look at someone else the way he looks at you? No.” Pansy shakes her head again, as if the mere thought is absurd.

“Is that why you don’t hate me?”

“It’s why I love you Granger.” Pansy says, she grabs Hermione’s hand and squeezes. “I could never fault you for making him love you, I only feel bloody relieved and accomplished.”

“I love you too, you know?” Hermione asks shyly, and Pansy rolls her eyes and makes to remove her hand, but Hermione holds tighter.

“I hate Gryffindors.”

“You would make an incredible one.” Hermione says, Pansy genuinely looks disgusted.

Hermione starts laughing so hard that she gets tears in her eyes. Soon, Pansy is chuckling too and then both of them are doubling themselves over with laughter.

“I admit having eavesdropped on your and Draco’s conversation in the cabin when we arrived if you admit to eavesdropping to my conversation with the others.”

“You bloody admire me.”

“You are going to marry Draco fucking Malfoy.”

They both grin at each other and they know that whatever happens tomorrow, their friendship will remain forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you've probably noticed, we are nearing the end of book six and we all know what happens then. So yeah, no more happy moments ahead. For quite a while if I'm honest. 
> 
> As of now, I have 47 chapters written and I'm pretty sure this story is going to have over 50, something close to 60 chapters. So yeah, bear with me for a little longer.
> 
> And if anyone is interested, I have two new dramione fics ideas planned after this that have been almost completely drafted, so yeah, that's that too.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! and please, please leave a comment.


	41. Forty One

**June 8th, 1997. The Forbidden Forest. Day 922**

“As you might already know, most of the ingredients we will be getting tonight are poisonous. Pay attention to me.”

“Yes Sir.”

“When dealing with magical herbs, you must have special care. You can’t simply snatch them from the ground or else they won’t work the way you need them too.” He starts explaining, his eyes never leaving the ground. “For example, do you see those berries over there?” He points at a particularly dark spot with the hand not holding his wand.

Hermione moves her wand to light the spot he was pointing at and Snape slaps her wand away.

“If I wanted to put light on them, I would have bloody done so Miss Granger.”

“Sorry.” She mumbles.

“Adjust your eyes. These berries hate the light. They are extremely dangerous, and they camouflage during the day, so you can’t know if you are picking up the poisonous ones or not.”

Hermione is surprised at how much more didactic Snape is when he is free of an entire classroom as audience. His explanations are given willingly and not like he's being put through torture.

She learns a lot in the short hour they stay in the woods. They would have stayed longer, like the two scholars they are, but they heard a howl that was suspiciously like the one she heard on her third year and Snape decided to cut her private tutoring short.

He hurriedly repeats all the information that he told her that night as he pulls her along by the sleeve of her robe. He looks actually afraid. Hermione finds interesting that he's that scared of werewolves. Suddenly his hatred towards Remus made a little more sense.

“If you manage to remember even a quarter of everything that I showed you, you will become a half decent potion master. Many people stupidly ignore the importance of picking the right ingredients and fresh ingredients that if you choose to do it instead of just buying at Diagon Alley Lily, your potions would be much more efficient and of course you wouldn’t be—”

Hermione stops dead on her tracks, “What did you just call me?” She asks.

Snape stops a few steps ahead of her and she notices how tense his body has become.

“I said Miss Granger.” 

“You called me Lily.”

Snape’s face becomes almost unbearably pained. He closes his eyes and tenses his jawline.

Hermione’s mind starts to work at a frenetic speed. Everything since her first year running through her mind. 

The way Snape despised Harry since the boy’s first day of school;

The way he called Harry arrogant;

The way he insulted Harry’s dad at every given chance;

The way Harry’s mere existence felt like a torment to him.

“I can actually hear your thoughts.” He snarls.

Hermione blinks away from her thoughts. “It’s her. I remind you of Lily.” She whispers

“Terribly so.”

“I’m sorry.” She mumbles.

“I fail to see how it could be your fault.” He says and they resume their walk back to the castle in silence.

When they are about to part ways at the Great Staircase, Hermione whispers, “I’m sorry for all of it.” 

She doesn’t stay to see if he hears her or not.

 

**June 18th, 1997. The Great Hall. Day 932**

The morning owls came during breakfast, and a school owl dropped a letter on top of one of Hermione’s books. She quickly puts it aside, so she can finish her reading.

“Hermione I’m seating next to you and I can’t see you.” Ron says, his mouth full of eggs. “Don’t you think you are exaggerating with the number of books you have?”

“Exaggerating?” She asks appalled. “We have the Charms exam in the morning and the Herbology one in the afternoon!” She shrieks, Ron looks around them to see if she had caught other’s people attention.

“It’s just Charms.” Ron shrugs, “And I will be sitting by your side for the writing part of the exam—” Hermione huffs loudly and bangs the book on her hand on the table.

Now everyone is paying attention. Harry hides himself behind his book and Ginny turns away from them.

“How dare you!” She shrieks, “How dare you!” She says again in a even higher pitch. Ron looks around them, only to find every single pair of eyes on them.

“There’s no need for you to go hysteric.” Ron says hastily, the Gryffindor table takes a collective breath of air.

The next seconds has the Great Hall silent as a grave.

Hermione clenches her jaw and glares at him. “Are you calling me hysterical, Ron Weasley?” Hermione starts in a low voice.

“Well—No—I mean--” He blabbers. There are a few snorts from the Slytherin table and Ron turns to glare at them. Hermione is too vexed to take her eyes from Ron so she doesn’t see whatever the Slytherins do. Ron snarls and turns to Hermione. “You are certainly acting like one!” It is his turn to raise his voice.

“If I’m hysterical then, good luck on your written exam because I certainly won’t be sitting anywhere near you!” She explodes, “And oh-- The last I remember, your aguamenti charm was still spurting slime! SO GOOD LUCK WITH THAT AS WELL!” She shouts before grabbing all of her books and the recent letter and throwing inside her bag.

“Well guys, it never fails to amaze me how Weasel-teasel grows more pathetic by the hour.” Draco says loudly to his friends and the Slytherin table explodes in laughter.

“You!” Hermione exclaims, a finger in his direction. “Shut up!” It's her last words before leaving the Hall.

 

She still has a good half an hour before her exam and she will spend it fuming. Thrust Ron to piss her off right before an exam!

God, Ron had always been lazy, and it doesn't matter how many times she tries to put some sense on his dense head, he still refuses to study. Hermione is so angry that she hadn't notice Draco leaning on the wall a few feet from her until he snorted.

“What?” She snarls.

He gives another snort, “Nothing, you are cute when you are angry.”

“Don’t you try to piss me off as well. I will hex your balls.” She threatens. Draco rolls his eyes and walks the few steps between them.

“I take you didn’t read the letter I sent you.” He says. Hermione frowns at his smirk.

She quickly looks through the stuff inside her bag and finds the now creased envelope.

Draco tuts at her and his smirk grows when she throws another dirty look at his direction.

Hermione opens the envelope and gasps at its content. In Draco’s posh scrawl is the foulest sentence she had the displeasure to read.

“ _’It’s been a month and I’m still thinking about your mouth on my cock and how good it felt to have your lips wrapped around me.’_ ” She reads and when she raises her eyes to stare at him, he has the most jackass smile on his face.

“You can’t be serious.” 

“You have no idea Granger.”

“We have an exam in less than an hour and you are thinking about getting a blowjob?” 

“I’m thinking about ways to blow off some steam.”

“You are impossible!” She says, shoving his chest.

Draco wraps his fingers on her wrist and Hermione sucks in a breath.

“Draco.” She murmurs as he starts to lower her hand to the bulge on his pants.

“I’m not kidding.” His voice is hoarse now. His dick twitch when she cups it over his pants.

“We don’t have time.” She whispers and looks around, there’s noise coming in their direction, the students are already leaving the Great Hall. 

“It’s been a month since we last had sex, I’m over the edge since my birthday when we exchanged hand jobs,” he takes a step closer as he says, now completely on her personal space. Hermione looks nervously around her. “Please.”

“Draco—” she hates how her own voice sounds wrecked now.

Hermione doesn’t know when she became this lustful, but it would be a lie to say she hasn’t dreamed of him doing wonderful things to her.

She’s about to say something else when he presses her hand tightly on his pants and he groans.

“Come here, you perv.” She mumbles and pulls him through under a tapestry that leads to the hidden passage Harry and Ron discovered.

“Where does this takes us?”

“To the Trophy Room.”

Hermione is quick to unbutton his pants and drop herself to her knees.

 

**June 26th, 1997. The Fifth Floor. Day 932**

She spots him the moment she turns the corner of the Prefect’s Bathroom. He’s sitting by one of the large windows, his forehead pressed against the glass while his arms are wrapped around his legs. 

It reminds her of the last time she found him like this, of how terribly that night ended.

She walks towards him and he turns around at the sounds of her shoes on the marble floor, “Hey”, she says. “What are you doing here at this hour?”

He cocks his head, now resting it on his hands, she cards her fingers to his hair, it never fails to amaze her how soft it is.

Hermione thinks it’s a shame that his kids probably won’t have his fine hair. She freezes the moment her thought is processed and almost jerks her hand away.

“I was waiting for you.” He says in a small voice, Hermione knows it’s one of the bad nights.

“I’m almost finished with rounds.” She replies in the same tone.

“There’s no one around here, I checked.” Draco says and moves, so now one of his legs is stretched.

“What is it, Draco?” Hermione asks as she sits in front of him and puts his stretched leg over her thighs.

“He sent me a letter, he wants it done this week.” Draco doesn’t look at her when he says it. “He made my mum write it, her handwriting was shaky, I almost didn’t recognize as hers—" She notices all the times his voice breaks when he speaks.

Hermione’s wave of hatred for Voldemort snaps again. She wants him gone. She hates what he turned Draco into. Hermione can go as far as wish the bastard away from Narcissa.

“I’m sorry.” Hermione says, but she knows it not enough.

“No, I’m sorry. It’s ready.” He looks at her now, “I fixed it.” He says.

She looks at him: the dark circles of his eyes, his hollowed cheeks, the lack of blue in his eyes, his slumped shoulders. There’s not a trace of the proud boy she met all those years ago. She thinks the 14-year-old Hermione, who punched him on the face, wouldn’t be able to recognize the 17-year-old Draco Malfoy.

It makes her heart break.

She looks outside, it’s pure black, not even the stars are visible tonight, as if they know what is coming. Hermione can see Dumbledore’s window from here. She doubts he is sleeping; the old wizard is probably scheming something.

Hermione doesn’t stop to ponder if she will feel guilty about it when it happens, but she knows it’s the completely opposite of what Dumbledore wants her to do. It’s probably why she says it.

“Dumbledore will leave the castle grounds with Harry on the evening of June 30th.” She starts, and Draco looks like someone who can’t believe his ears.

“Why are you doing this?” He asks, his voice is so lost. Hermione wants to cry.

“I can’t lose you Draco. But I already am. Every day that passes and you still have that mission on your shoulder—I—”

Draco stretches his hand so they can hold hands, he thumbs the back of her hand. “We only have the castle walls.” He murmurs. "There's nothing for us beyond the castle walls."

“Draco,” and now she cries.

“You know that Granger. After I complete my mission, I won’t be allowed to return here. I will have to run away. There won’t be seventh year for me.”

“So this is it then?” She sobs, it’s her who has the arms around the knees now, “we have four days left?”

Draco looks away, she sees the moon reflected on his tears, “I wish we could have a life beyond this castle’s walls.”

“Me too.” She whispers.

Hermione pulls his hand a bit, so he’s looking at her. She gets on her feet and pulls him up with her, “Where are we going?”

“Let’s take a bath.” She says and kisses his lips softly.

 

**June 26th, 1997. The Prefect’s Bathroom. Day 932**

They undress like they have decades. It’s slow and they don’t take their eyes out of each other. Hermione tries to commit to memory every line, every curve and every speckle on his skin. She knows he is doing exactly the same thing.

They turn on half a dozen different faucets and enjoy a few moments on each other’s arms while the pool fills with bubbles and water.

“I will never regret you Draco.” She whispers in his ear and he kisses the spot where her neck meets her shoulder.

They start low, they kiss every inch of skin that is above water while their hands roam every inch under water. Draco’s fingers feel like a brush on her skin, such is the delicacy in which he touches her.

They are still slow, even when he pulls her closer to him, so he can bury himself in the place she is the warmest.

Their climax feels like hours to build up, with all the kissing, the hugging and the crying that happens in between.

“Whatever happens tomorrow, we had today; and I'll always remember it.” He says when he spills inside of her and her heart breaks in a million pieces when she realizes it is their last time together. 

 

June 30th, 1997. The Great Staircase. Day 936

Hermione is almost at the feet of the stairs when her vision is blocked by a mass of body.

“Thank Merlin!” The body’s voice says on her hair and she recognizes as Draco’s voice.

“Draco, wha—” Her voice is muffled on his chest.

“I was looking for you everywhere. When I didn’t see you at dinner I thought—” He says agitated.

“Slow down Draco.”

“I lied to you Hermione.”

“What?”

“The Cabinet. I didn’t fix it to take Dumbledore’s body to Voldemort. I fixed because I was supposed to bring the Death Eaters in.”

“What?” She whispers, “You did what?”

“I’m sorry. I knew that if I told you, you wouldn’t help me.”

“OF COURSE, I WOULDN’T!” she snaps, “you lied to me! I—”

“Hermione, please, listen to me—” She hates how he uses her first name.

“No! You used me! You—I—I did it. You made me help you bring people who want me dead inside the castle!” She screams, her eyes full of tears. 

She hates how easily she cries.

“Hermione, please.” Draco tries to hold her shoulders, she flinches away from him. His face falls and Hermione doesn’t find in her to feel sorry. She’s so mad, so mad at him.

“How could you do it?”

“I’m telling you now, so that you can call The Order. So that you can get everyone to safety. Please, you need to go tell McGonagall.”

“I—”

“Granger stop talking for a second and listen to me!” He says angrily, she glares at him and for a second, she considers punching him.

“Don’t you dare yell at me Draco Malfoy!” She shoves his chest instead.

“I know it’s fucked up, I know.” He stresses, “I know I’m a shitty person and what I’m about to do is unforgivable. But I need you. I need you to keep the students out of the way and I need you to get the Aurors in the castle as soon as possible.” 

“How long do I have?” She asks.

“10 minutes tops.” He says, he moves to grabs her shoulders again, she can’t help but to flinch away. He looks dejected. “They are waiting for me at Borgin & Burke’s. I’m supposed to activate the cabinet at 8 o’clock.”

“Okay.” She nods. Hermione takes a big breath and looks at the floor when she says her next words, “Harry and Dumbledore are supposed to be coming back by now.”

He nods. “After I activate the cabinet I will go straight to him, the Death Eaters are supposed to be a distraction.”

“Go to the Astronomy Tower.” She says, “He and Harry had to walk to Hogsmeade to be able to Apparate, but I read that the Headmaster can deactivate the Apparition Wards. Cast the Dark Mark on top of the Tower, he will be able to see it from the village, it will bring him straight to you.”

“Granger—” he tries to say something, but she keeps talking.

“You can disarm him the moment he appears, you—”

“Don’t participate in this more than I already made you.” He finally manages to cut her off.

“Do it as I say. You own me at least that.” She says, her eyes are hard and she’s certain Draco can see how hurt she is. Draco nods.

“And Potter? He will be with him.”

Hermione shakes her head, “No. He won’t have Harry anywhere near the Dark Mark.”

“Okay. Go now, warn McGonagall.” He says. Hermione sees the way he braces himself, the way he puts his weigh on his shoulder and stands straight. She has seen this show of his countless times now. She knows that all of his walls are getting back into place.

He looks like a completely different person when she looks at him now. There’s not a single trace of the hurt or insecurity he displayed moments ago. She envies him for this. But Hermione has come in terms with her inability to hide anything from her face ages ago.

“I forgave you for a lot of things.” She starts, “Everything that you did to me, everything that you said, I put all of those behind. But this? You took advantage of my trust in you. You lied to me. I—”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” _I can’t forgive you for this_ , is what she doesn’t says. She doesn’t think she needs to. His facade cracks minimally and she knows he understood her meaning.

He just nods and turns away to go to the Seventh Floor.

With Draco’s back turned, she feels like she can fall apart at every second now. But she has a task to do. A lonely sob manages to come out before she starts running towards McGonagall’s office.

She’s out of breath when she reaches McGonagall’s office and throws open the door.

“Miss Granger, what in—”

“You need to call the Aurors!” She speaks loudly.

“What?”

“The Death Eaters are coming to the castle. Right now. You need to warn the Aurors, professor!”

“How do—”

“Professor! Please! We don’t have time! He told me—” McGonagall’s eyes widen at this and she finally seems to understand what’s happening.

“Did you tell Malfoy that Dumbledore would be out of the castle at this time?” The professor asks angrily.

“You underestimate him Professor. His mission is to kill the headmaster, you really think we wouldn’t have found out about the Headmaster’s steps after a year of almost wasting away trying to complete it?” She snaps, “Please! He told me, so we could get the students to safety and the Aurors in the castle in time!”

“Expectro Patronum!” McGonagall casts and a silver cat appears from the tip of her wand. “Find Moody and then Shackebolt. Tell them the castle is in danger. The Death Eaters are coming. They are coming now! We need Aurors in here. Bring the Order! Now!” McGonagall tells the cat and it gallops through the window, ready to deliver its message.

She turns to an odd device sitting on top of her table and picks it up. Pointing her wand to it, she casts a Sonorus and starts speaking at it.

“Attention! All the students to return to their Common Rooms immediately. I repeat. All the students to return to their Common Rooms. Head of Houses please move all your students to their dorms; Prefects, stay inside and make sure everyone remain safely in the dorms. This is a matter of safety. Everyone in their Common Room right now!” She says, and Hermione can hear McGonagall's voice echoing throughout the entire castle.

Seconds after the message stopped being replayed, Moody appears through McGonagall’s fireplace.

“What’s happening Minerva” Moody asks.

“Miss Granger can explain.”


	42. Forty Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! How have you guys been? I hope everyone is safe and keeping indoors! The outbreak started a few weeks ago and we are now nearing the end of the first week of social isolation and reaching almost three thousand cases, thankfully, the number of deaths is low.
> 
> The good side of the quarantine it that now I have more than enough time to write this fic and upload it on time.  
> In this chapter we have a few parts taken from Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince with a few modifications to fit our story better.

**November 20th, 2003. Astronomy Tower. Day 5494**

In spite of his mother’s pleas, Draco decided to return to Hogwarts. There were too many people in his house, too many voices and too many opinions. The Manor feels wrong without Caelum there. 

It’s nerve-wracking not knowing where they are. Potter and his father insist that Caelum must have found Hermione before The Seventeen, but he feels off about it. Cormac hadn’t mentioned Caelum at all and he obviously struggled with Hermione before she got away.

Draco sighs and run his hand through his hair.

“Mr. Malfoy.” Headmistress McGonagall calls his name and he snaps his head back up.

McGonagall moves towards him and stops by the railing beside him.

“It’s curious how this place became your place to think. I find it almost impossible being here after—” she just sighs instead of finishing. She doesn’t have to.

“I was in my most vulnerable in here. Now, every time I feel in distress my feet bring me here.”

“He’s not here anymore to give you options.” McGonagall says and Draco looks at her confused.

“How—”

“Oh, please Malfoy, I’ve spent many, many years with Albus. I’m very proud to say that I knew him quite well. It wouldn’t be Albus if he didn’t try.”

“He offered to hide me.” Draco tells, “I couldn’t accept it because he couldn’t offer the same to my mother.”

“Hermione told me.”

“I never got to know what happened that day. With the Death Eaters.”

“Your warning was on time. We had plenty of Order members ready and a few Aurors when they arrived.”

“Voldemort was furious about it. He started punishing me when he heard he had lost one Death Eater, he knew I must had told someone. I was a few minutes late to let them in, Yaxley told him. Snape backed me up, he said the Castle had protective wards and could feel when it was under peril. He twisted a story about how their presence there activated the wards and called The Order. I received two more Cruciatus before he believed.”

“I’m sorry for not believing on you before. I failed you as a teacher.”

“No one did Professor, no hard feelings.”

“She did.”

Draco smiled sadly, “She always saw the good on me, even when I didn’t want her to or didn’t know about it myself.”

They remain quiet for a few moments, both lost in their own memories and thoughts. It’s McGonagall who breaks the silence again.

“Albus knew all along about your mission, didn’t he?”

 

_Flashback_

_June 30th, 1997. Astronomy Tower. Day 936_

_Draco can hear muffled voices on the other side of the staircase door, with trembling hands, he opens the door for the tower and finds the headmaster alone._

_“Expeliarmus!” He says, not wasting time. For a moment he thinks his trembling fingers won’t work the magic, but the Headmaster’s wand flies to Draco’s waiting hand._

_The moon is behind the headmaster and Draco knows his face must look as white as the moon. On the other side, Dumbledore doesn’t show any sign of panic or distress._

_“Good evening Draco.” The headmaster merely says, his eyes twinkling and a small smile on his lips. Draco thinks he’s mad._

_“Who were you talking to? I heard voices.” He asks. Draco remembers how Hermione mentioned Potter wouldn’t come along, but he thinks Potter is in the tower as well, under that cloak of his, as he notices a second broom on the tower wall._

_“I was going to ask you the same question. Are you alone?”_

_“No. I’ve got back up. There are Death Eaters in your school tonight.”_

_“Well, well,” says Dumbledore in a way that sounds like praise, Draco arches an eyebrow at him. “Very good indeed. You finally found a way to let them in, didn't you?”_

_“Yeah,” he replies, he hates how weak his voice sounds. “Right under your nose and you never realized!” Draco says and Dumbledore’s eyes twinkles in a way that makes Draco unsure about the secrecy of his mission._

_“Ingenious,” it’s the Headmaster’s reply. “Yet… Forgive me… Where are they now? You seem unsupported.”_

_“They met some of your guard—”_

_“Already?” Dumbledore asks with a knowing smile._

_“They are having a fight down below. They won’t be long… I came on ahead. I--I’ve got a job to do.”_

_“Well, then, you must get on and do it, my dear boy.” The Headmaster says softly._

_He knows. He has known all along. He knew, and he didn’t do anything to try to stop Draco._

_Because Dumbledore doesn’t believe he’s capable._

_It’s silence in the tower, with only echoes of the fight happening below them. Draco only stares at Dumbledore, who incredibly, smiles. The wand on Draco’s hand almost slips from his grip with how badly his arm is shaking._

_“Draco, you are not a killer.”_

_“How do you know? You don’t know what I’m capable of,” he says forcefully, “you don’t know what I’ve done!”_

_“Oh, yes, I do.” Dumbledore says mildly. “You almost killed Katie Bell and Ronald Weasley. You have been trying, with increasing desperation, to kill me all year. Forgive me, Draco, but they have been feeble attempts... So feeble that I wonder whether your heart has been really in it… Or if it’s somewhere else, with someone else—”_

_“Shut up!” Draco snarls, and Dumbledore’s smile grows. “It has been in it!” He says, he pretends he can’t notice how badly his voice shakes, “I’ve been working on it all year, and tonight—”_

_Somewhere in the castle below they can hear a feminine yell, it’s muffled, and he can’t be sure but even then, his body stiffens._

_“Are you worried it’s her?” Dumbledore asks. “Whoever she is, she’s putting up a good fight,” the headmaster says conversationally. “But you were saying… Yes, you have managed to introduce Death Eaters into my school which, I admit, I thought impossible… How did you do it?”_

_Draco says nothing, he is still trying to listen to whatever is happening down there, trying to hear, to distinguish the screams and the voices._

_“Perhaps you ought to get on with the job alone.” Dumbledore suggests, “What if your back-up has been thwarted by my guards? As I’m sure you know, there are members of the Order of the Phoenix down there as well. And after all, you don’t really need help… I have no wand at the moment… I cannot defend myself.”_

_Draco just keeps staring. Is the old man actually asking for him to kill him?_

_“I see.” Says Dumbledore kindly. Draco hates his kindness. “Are you afraid she won’t forgive you? You must know she’s down there—The Order did arrive on time.”_

_Dumbledore’s left eye glances to something on his left, Draco looks at the pair of brooms. Potter._

_He’s sure Potter is present now, but why is he still hidden? That insufferable boy can’t stay out of things, there’s no way he’d just stand by watching it all. Unless—Unless he can’t move._

_“Shut up about her!” Draco snarls again. The old man is about to die and he’s trying to tell Potter about Granger and him. The fool is gossipy even on his death-bed._

_“So, why? Why haven’t you still made a move? I don’t think you will kill me Draco, killing is not nearly as easy as the innocent believe… So tell me, while we wait for your friends… How did you manage to smuggle them in here? It seems to have taken you a long time to work out how to do it.”_

_Another feminine scream rings through the tower, a mad cackle follows. His whole body is shaking now._

_He doesn’t know if he bolts or vomits. He gulps and with a shaking arm that’s still pointing the wand to the headmaster’s heart, replies: “I had to mend that broken Vanishing Cabinet that no one’s used for years. The one Montague got lost in last year.”_

_“Ah.” Dumbledore almost groans now. “That was clever. I admit I didn’t see that coming. There is a pair, I take it?”_

_“The other’s in Borgin & Burkes. They make a passage between them. Montague told me that when he was stuck, he was trapped in limbo but sometimes he could hear what was going on at school and sometimes what was going in the shop, as if the Cabinet was travelling between them. In the end, he managed to Apparate out, he nearly died doing it. Everyone thought it was a good story, but I was the only one who realized what it meant – even Borgin didn’t know – I was the one who realized there could be a way into Hogwarts though the cabinets if I fixed the broken one.”_

_“Very good.” Dumbledore murmurs. “So, the Death Eaters were able to pass from the shop to the school… A very clever plan, very clever indeed. Almost as clever as that girlfriend of yours--”_

_“Shut. Your. Mouth. About. Her.” He snarls, suddenly all the shaking disappears, and he presses the wand on the old man’s chest._

_“I was watching you, Draco, there were times, wasn’t it, when you weren’t so sure you would succeed in mending the Cabinet? And you resorted to crude and badly judged measures such as sending me a cursed necklace that was bound to reach the wrong hands… Poisoning mead there was only the slightest chance I might drink…” Dumbledore slid a little down the ramparts while talking, the strength in his legs apparently fading._

_“Why didn’t you stop me, then? If you knew.” Draco asks. He hates how his voice sounds pleadingly._

_“I tried, Draco.” It’s his reply, Draco knows he noticed his tone, “Professor Snape has been keeping watch over you on my orders—"_

_“He hasn’t been doing your orders, he promised my mother—"_

_“Of course, that is what he would tell you, Draco, but—”_

_“He’s a double agent, you stupid old man, he isn’t working for you, you just think he is!”_

_“We must agree to differ on that, Draco. It so happens that I trust Professor Snape--"_

_“Well, you’re losing your grip.” He sneers. “He’s been offering me plenty of help-- ‘What are you doing?’ ‘Did you do the necklace, that was stupid, it could have blown everything--’ But I haven’t told him what I’ve been doing in the Room of Requirement, he’s going to wake up tomorrow and it’ll all be over, and he won’t be the Dark Lord’s favorite anymore, he’ll be nothing compared to me, nothing!”_

_“Very gratifying,” said Dumbledore mildly. “We all like appreciation for our own hard work, but you must have had an accomplice-- someone in Hogsmeade, someone who was able to slip Katie the-- Ah…”_

_Dumbledore closes his eyes again and nods, “Of course… Rosmerta! How long has she been under the Imperius Curse?”_

_“Got there at last, have you?” Draco taunts. There was another yell from below, rather louder than the last._

_He looks nervously over his shoulder again, then back at Dumbledore, who goes on: “So poor Rosmerta was forced to lurk in her own bathroom and pass that necklace to any Hogwarts student who entered the room unaccompanied? And the poisoned mead… well, naturally, Rosmerta was able to poison it for you before she sent the bottle to Slughorn, believing that it was to be my Christmas present. Yes, very neat, very neat. Poor Mr. Filch would not think to check a bottle of Rosmerta’s. Tell me, how have you been communicating with Rosmerta? I thought we had all methods of communication in and out of the school monitored.”_

_“Enchanted coins,” Draco replies, even though he knows he might give Granger away to Potter. “I had one and she had the other and I could send her messages—"_

_“Interesting.” Dumbledore replies, voice light and that annoying smile on his face. “Isn’t that the secret method of communication the group that called themselves Dumbledore’s Army used last year? How did you get that information?”_

_“You know very well how. I got the idea of poisoning the mead from her as well. I heard her talking about Filch not recognizing potions.”_

_“You are a clever boy Draco, do you think she will forgive you for using her like this?”_

_He doesn’t let the words get to him. Granger knows. She’s known for months now. She forgives him. He replies with a twisted smile, “She has known all along. She knows what I am.”_

_Draco thinks he can see Dumbledore losing the advantage the old man thought he had. Granger knowing, and abiding wasn’t on his mind._

_“Well, I should have expected that. That girl has yet to fail to surprise me.”_

_Draco gives a harsh laugh. “You and me both.”_

_“So, she knows what you are and chose to stay with you.” Dumbledore nods impressed, as if he can’t understand how Granger might have come to that conclusion. “And that’s how you choose to repay her?”_

_Draco falters. He takes two steps back. “I’m about to kill you and she knows it. She knows. She understands.”_

_Dumbledore slides a little on the floor as he struggles to remain upright. Draco notices he’s sick. Whatever he and Potter set of to do made him sick. “As for being about to kill me, you have had several long minutes now, we are quite alone, I am more defenseless than you can have dreamed of finding me, and still you have not acted...” Draco mouth contorts involuntarily._

_“Now, about tonight,” Dumbledore goes on, “I am a little puzzled about how it happened… You knew that I had left the school? But of course,” he answers his own question, “Rosmerta saw me leaving, she tipped you off using your ingenious coins, I’m sure._

_“Rosmerta didn’t need to. She told me.”_

_“Look what you’ve done to her Draco. Is this what you wanted her to become? Someone who betrays her own side?” Draco wand arm is completely down now._

_He didn’t. He never—Hermione didn’t change because of him, he didn’t change her. Merlin knows how he wished he had the power to change her, but oh no— that girl was too powerful to relent to anything._

_“There’s where you are wrong. You don’t know her. If you think I had the slightest chance to change anything about her—I surely would have made her go as far as way from me as possible.”_

_“And that you tried, didn’t you? All that show, Narcissa would be appalled to see her own blood behaving so shamelessly.”_

_“It wasn’t one of my finer moments.” It’s his reply._

_“So, you decided to spring a trap for me?”_

_“She told me to put the Dark Mark over the tower and get you to hurry up here, to see who’d been killed, and it worked.” He says and Draco sees the headmaster’s shocked expression._

_“Well… Ruthless, isn’t she? Well, am I to take it, then, that nobody has been murdered?”_

_“Someone’s dead,” he says, and his voice goes up an octave as he says it. “I don’t know who, it was dark… I stepped over the body… I was supposed to be waiting up here when you got back, only your Phoenix lot got in the way…”_

_There was a bang and shouts from below, louder than ever; it sounded like people were fighting on the actual spiral staircase that led to where they stood._

_“There is little time, one way or another,” says Dumbledore. “So, let us discuss your options, Draco.”_

_“My options!” He says loudly. “I’m standing here with a wand — I’m about to kill you —”_

_“My dear boy, let us have no more pretense about that. If you were going to kill me, you would have done it when you first disarmed me, you would not have stopped for this pleasant chat.”_

_“I haven’t got any options!” He says, voice trembling “I’ve got to do it! He’ll kill me! He’ll kill my whole family!”_

_“I appreciate the difficulty of your position,” he says. “Why else do you think I have not confronted you before now? Because I knew that you would have been murdered if Lord Voldemort realized that I suspected you.”_

_No. Because he had thought he had Hermione to do the job. He had put so much fate in the Golden Girl and so little fate in their relationship._

_“I did not dare speak to you of the mission which I knew you had been entrusted, in case he used Legillimency against you,” Dumbledore continued, “But now at last we can speak plainly to each other… No harm has been done, you have hurt nobody, though you are very lucky about that… I can help you, Draco.”_

_“No, you can’t,” he says, his wand hand shaking very badly. “Nobody can. He told me to do it or he’ll kill me. I’ve got no choice.”_

_“Come over to the right side, Draco, and we can hide you more completely than you can possibly imagine. She would want that.”_

_“Can you pay a visit to my mother as well? Maybe ask the Dark Lord if he’d be so kind to let her out of the little prison he put her in.” Draco snarls and he sees Dumbledore wince._

_He tries again, “Come over to the right side, Draco… You are not a killer. The only reason why she trusted you is because she knew that.”_

_“But I got this far, didn’t I?” he says slowly. “They thought I’d die in the attempt, but I’m here… and you’re in my power… I’m the one with the wand… You’re at my mercy--”_

_“No, Draco,” Dumbledore says quietly. “It is my mercy, and not yours, that matters now.”_

_Draco doesn’t speak. Even though his wand hand is still trembling, he rose to Dumbledore’s chest again._

_But suddenly footsteps were thundering up the stairs, and a second later he was buffeted out of the way as four Death Eaters burst through the door onto the ramparts. The Death Eaters had won the fight below. He didn’t know how he felt about that._

_Amycus giggles when he takes notice of the situation, “Dumbledore cornered!” he says, and he turns to Alecto who is already grinning eagerly. “Dumbledore wandless, Dumbledore alone! Well done, Draco, well done!”_

_“Good evening, Amycus,” Dumbledore says calmly, as though welcoming the man to a tea party. “And you’ve brought Alecto too… Charming…”_

_“Think your little jokes’ll help you on your deathbed then?” Alecto jeers._

_“Jokes? No, these are manners.”_

_“Do it.” Fenrir says, with his rasping bark of a voice. Draco smells a powerful mixture of dirt, sweat, and, unmistakably, of blood coming from him. His other hand closes in a fist._

_The thought of him crossing Hermione’s path makes his stomach rolls._

_“Is that you, Fenrir?” Dumbledore asks._

_“That’s right. Pleased to see me, Dumbledore?”_

_“No, I cannot say that I am.” Greyback grins, showing pointed teeth._

_Blood trickled down his chin and he licked his lips slowly, obscenely. “But you know how much I like kids, Dumbledore.” Draco might forgo killing Dumbledore to kill this beast instead._

_“Am I to take it that you are attacking even without the full moon now? This is most unusual… You have developed a taste for human flesh that cannot be satisfied once a month?”_

_“That’s right, shocks you that, does it, Dumbledore? Frightens you?”_

_“Well, I cannot pretend it does not disgust me a little,” it’s Dumbledore reply. “And, yes, I am a little shocked that Draco here invited you, of all people, into the school where people he loves live—"_

_“I didn’t.” Draco breathes, his voice a little panicked. “I didn’t know he was going to come —”_

_“Look at the amount of danger you put the people you love in.” Dumbledore says and Draco can hear Hermione’s name when he says ‘people’._

_“I wouldn’t want to miss a trip to Hogwarts, Dumbledore,” rasps Greyback. “Not when there are throats to be ripped out… Delicious they are, especially when they are from mudbloods.” Draco might faint at any given moment. “I could do you after, Dumbledore.”_

_“No,” Yaxley says. “We’ve got orders. Draco’s got to do it. Now, Draco, and quickly.” Draco’s resolution was shot to the roof. The only thing crossing his mind was Hermione possibly hurt. He stares terrified at Dumbledore’s face, which is even paler, as he had slides again down the rampart wall._

_“He’s not long for this world anyway, if you ask me!” Amycus says and Alecto giggles. “Look at him — what’s happened to you, then, Dumby?”_

_“Oh, weaker resistance, slower reflexes, Amycus,” Dumbledore replies. “Old age, in short… One day, perhaps, it will happen to you.”_

_Where the fuck is Potter? Why can’t that bloody boy show up now?_

_“What’s that mean?” Amycus yells, “Always the same, weren’t yeh, Dumby, talking and doing nothing, nothing. I don’t even know why the Dark Lord’s bothering to kill yer! Come on, Draco, do it!”_

_But at that moment there were renewed sounds of scuffling from below and a voice shouted, “They’ve blocked the stairs — Reducto! REDUCTO!”_

_These four disgusting assortments had not eliminated all opposition, but merely broken through the fight to the top of the tower, and, by the sound of it, created a barrier behind them._

_“Now, Draco, quickly!” Yaxley angrily says, Draco can’t barely aim with how badly his hand is shaking._

_“I’ll do it,” snarls Fenrir, moving toward Dumbledore with his hands outstretched, his teeth bared._

_“I said no!” Yaxley shouts; there’s a flash of light and the werewolf is blasted out of the way; he hit the ramparts and staggered, looking furious._

_“Think Draco.” Dumbledore starts. “She might have already forgiven you. She might have said that she doesn’t care but, do you wish this upon her? Can you live with yourself knowing you made her accomplice to this? Do you wish to taint her heart with this? If you survive dear boy, will you be able to look at her without seeing all that you put her through? All that you did? All her light, do you dare darken it?”_

_Draco looks at him dumbly, there are tears in his eyes. His wand arm drops again. He is right. Hermione might have said she doesn’t care but Merlin, she will be tainted. She won’t forgive herself._

_He always knew he didn’t deserve her, but Salazar’s snakes, he fucked up her soul, her beliefs. She will always look at him and see this night. He will look at her and will see her regret._

_'I forgave you for a lot of things' she had said._

_'But this? You took advantage of my trust in you. You lied to me.' She said it. She couldn’t forgive him about the Death Eaters and merlin? What if she got hurt?_

_'I’m sorry too' she said when he apologized, but he heard the ‘I can’t forgive you for this’ behind her apology._

_“Draco, do it or stand aside so one of us—” Alecto screeches,_

_But at that precise moment, a figure steps out of the dark and it’s Snape, his wand clutched in his hand as his black eyes sweep the scene, from Dumbledore slumped against the wall, to the four Death Eaters, including the enraged werewolf, and Draco._

_Snape looks possessed. He looks at Dumbledore with disgust. Even Draco recoils. He doesn’t remember seeing his Godfather that mad, not even with Potter._

_“We’ve got a problem, Snape,” Amycus say, “the boy doesn’t seem able —”_

_But somebody else had spoken Snape’s name, quite softly. “Severus…” Dumbledore was pleading. Snape says nothing but walks forward and pushes Draco roughly out of the way. He stands in front of Draco. Is Snape protecting him?_

_Snape gazes for a moment at Dumbledore, and there is revulsion and hatred etched in the harsh lines of his face. “Severus… please…” Snape raises his wand and points it directly at Dumbledore._

_“You won’t guilt trip another terrified boy with your words Albus.” He spits, “Avada Kedavra!”_

_A jet of green light shoots from the end of Snape’s wand and hits Dumbledore squarely in the chest. Draco watches dumbfound as Dumbledore is blasted into the air. He seems to hang suspended beneath the shining skull, and then he falls backward, like a great rag doll, over the battlements and out of sight._

_“Out of here, quickly,” Snape says._

_He seizes Draco by the scruff of the neck and forces him through the door ahead of the rest._

_“Petrificus Totalus!” A voice screams behind them, Draco faintly recognizes Potter._

_Took you long enough, he thinks. Potter must have been under a petrifying spell and now, with Dumbledore dead, was free to move. He doesn’t look back to see who Potter hit._

_The dimly lit corridor is full of dust; half the ceiling seemed to have fallen in; and a battle is raging before him, he tries to make out who is fighting whom, but Snape pulls him again,_

_“It’s over, time to go!” Snape says when they are at the far end of the corridor._

_Flashback Ends_

“He did” Draco replies after shaking himself from the memories.


	43. Forty Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! How have you guys been? I hope everyone is still safe! In my country the quarantine has been extended for at least one more week because the number of cases has been growing in a fast pace, we have now eight thousand confirmed cases. Please, if you can, stay inside.
> 
> In this chapter we have a few parts taken from Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince with a few modifications to fit our story better.

**November 20th, 2003. Outskirts of Wiltshire. Day 5494**

 

“Mum! Mum!” She feels small hands shaking her awake. 

Hermione opens her eyes to light blond hair, for a second, she thinks it's Draco.

“Caelum,” She tries to move but the pain shoots up from her shoulder like fire. “In my bag sweetheart.” She winces, her wand arm is the arm currently feeling like it is being teared apart.

Caelum brings her bag with shaking hands, “Mum your arm.” He cries.

“It’s going to be okay darling.” She puts a comforting hand on his shoulder before rummaging inside to find the Essence of Dittany inside.

It is pure luck that the things she had on her the day she was attacked were kept on her room.

It takes Hermione a few moments to finally find it on her magically-extended purse.

“Caelum, I will need you to pour this on mum’s shoulder okay?” Hermione asks and her boy shakes his head. “Baby, I need you to do this for me, I can’t do it on my own.”

Caelum looks at her slashed shoulder and to the vial on her hands. He nods firmly once and wipes his runny nose on his sleeve.

“Good boy. Incredible boy. Now, pay attention. Three drops only okay?”

Caelum nods and takes the vial from her hands. He unclasps it and cautiously drops a single drop to Hermione’s shoulder. Hermione tries to stay still but the pain is obliterating, and she writhes.

Caelum, scared he had done something wrong, almost throws the vial away.

“No, no, sweetheart. It’s okay. It’s going to hurt a bit, but it’s necessary so my shoulder can heal okay?” 

The boy nods and starts again. Hermione bites her lip to keep from scaring him further. He carefully administers the two remaining drops and give back the vial to Hermione.

Hermione closes her eyes for a moment, feeling the pain.

“Are you okay? Are you hurting somewhere?” She asks when she opens her eyes.

“No mum.”

“Let's see the potion that you brought me.” She asks, and the boy hands it to her.

Hermione unclasps it and smells, she can recognize most of the ingredients, but she knows better than to drink an untested potion.

“Let’s keep this safe.” She decides, she still has a few with her from St. Mungo’s and if she rations them until they get to safety, they would be okay.

Caelum nods and looks around. “Where are we?”

“I don’t know.” She says.

Pansy had left a few portkeys for safety the last time she stopped by, but Hermione didn’t have time to remember which was which.

But it seems they are in the middle of a forest. Hermione doubts that Pansy had put a portkey to a forest. They probably are on the outskirts of some place under a Fidelius. Hermione hopes it's the Manor.

“Can you do magic?” He asks, still eying the cut on her arm warily.

Hermione tries casting something, but with her shoulder still healing after being slashed, not even a flare comes out.

 

**June 30th, 1997. The Hospital Wing. Day 936**

 

When Hermione sees Harry, she runs to him and hugs him tight. She cries again. She haven't stopped crying since this night began.

“Are you alright, Harry?” She asks, he nods, and she sighs relieved.

She wants to ask more, but Hermione knows it’s not the time. 

They move to where Bill is, where everyone is crowded. 

They are talking about what happened and the effects this attack might bring, when Ron says something that makes her entire body stiffen.

“Dumbledore might know something that’d work, though. Where is he? Bill fought those maniacs on Dumbledore’s orders, Dumbledore owes him, he can’t leave him in this state—” 

“Ron, Dumbledore’s dead,” Ginny says. 

“No!” Lupin looks wildly from Ginny to Harry, as though hoping the latter might contradict her, but when Harry remains silent, Lupin collapses into a chair beside Bill’s bed, his hands over his face.

Hermione remembers only another moment where she had seen Lupin lose control before. After Sirius died. Hermione knows that feeling all too well. She wishes she could say that she understood. But instead she remains silent.

“How did he die?” Tonks whispers

“Snape killed him.” Harry explains. Hermione exhales the air she didn’t know she was holding “I was there, I saw it. We arrived back on the Astronomy Tower because that’s where the Mark was… Dumbledore was ill, he was weak, but I think he realized it was a trap when we heard footsteps running up the stairs. He immobilized me, I couldn’t do anything, I was under the Invisibility Cloak-- and then Malfoy came through the door and disarmed him--” 

Hermione claps her hands to her mouth and Ron groans.

“— more Death Eaters arrived — and then Snape — and Snape did it. The Avada Kedavra.” Harry couldn’t go on. 

“Snape.” McGonagall repeats faintly, falling into the chair. “We all wondered… But he trusted Snape—I can’t believe it.”

“Snape was a highly accomplished Occlumens, Minerva” Lupin says, his voice uncharacteristically harsh. “We always knew that.” 

Hermione shifts from one foot to another. She doesn’t know if she can say what she knows.

She wants to scream, to desperately tell them everything: about her, about Draco, about Snape.

If it was Snape who did in the end, that meant he did what Dumbledore had asked, and if he left with Draco, that meant he was still following Dumbledore’s orders.

“But Dumbledore swore he was on our side!” Tonks voice removes Hermione from her thoughts. “I always thought Dumbledore must know something about Snape that we didn’t...” 

“He always hinted that he had an ironclad reason for trusting Snape,” Professor McGonagall mutters, “I mean… With Snape’s history… Of course people were bound to wonder… But Dumbledore told me explicitly that Snape’s repentance was absolutely genuine… Wouldn’t hear a word against him!” 

“I’d love to know what Snape told him to convince him,” Tonks says harshly.

Hermione wants to run as far away as possible.

“I know,” Harry says, and they all turn to look at him. Hermione arches an eyebrow. “Snape passed Voldemort the information that made Voldemort hunt down my mum and dad. Then Snape told Dumbledore he hadn’t realized what he was doing, he was really sorry he’d done it, sorry that they were dead.” 

They all stare at him.

“And Dumbledore believed that?” Lupin asks incredulously. “Dumbledore believed Snape was sorry James was dead? Snape hated James…” 

“And he didn’t think my mother was worth a damn either,” said Harry, “because she was Muggle-born… ‘Mudblood,’ he called her…” 

_He loved her Harry_. She looked away from all of them, to the windows, a single tear running down her face. Merlin what a mess.

Nobody asked how Harry knew this. All of them seemed to be lost in horrified shock, trying to digest the monstrous truth of what had happened.

“This is all my fault,” Professor McGonagall says suddenly. “My fault. When Her—” she looks at Hermione and stops mid-sentence. “When I heard about the attack, I casted a Sonorus throughout the castle, calling the Professors--If I hadn’t alerted Snape to what was going on, he might never have joined forces with the Death Eaters.”

“It isn’t your fault, Minerva,” Lupin says firmly. “We all wanted more help, we were glad to think Snape was on his way…”

“So, when he arrived at the fight, he joined in on the Death Eaters’ side?” Harry asks, and Hermione knows he wants every detail of Snape’s duplicity and infamy, to feverishly collect more reasons to hate him and add them alongside his hate towards Draco. Hermione snarls.

Lupin turns to her and Hermione wants to punch herself.

“I don’t know exactly how it happened,” McGonagall says distractedly. “Dumbledore had told us that he would be leaving the school for a few hours and that we were to patrol the corridors just in case. He didn’t patrol with us, said he needed to correct Miss Granger’s exam—” all eyes quickly turn to her before snapping back to McGonagall, “Remus, Bill, and Nymphadora were to join us, and so we patrolled. All seemed quiet. Every secret passageway out of the school was covered. We knew nobody could fly in. There were powerful enchantments on every entrance into the castle. I had just returned to my office when Her—I heard the Death Eaters were coming. I still don’t know how the Death Eaters can possibly have entered…” 

“I do.” It’s Harry again, and he explains, briefly, about the pair of Vanishing Cabinets and the magical pathway they formed. Hermione thinks her guilt will eat her. Her hands are shaking, she still has the books she read on her bag in her room. “So, they got in through the Room of Requirement.” 

Harry glances from Ron to Hermione. 

“I messed up, Harry,” Ron says bleakly. “We did like you told us: We checked the Marauder’s Map and we couldn’t see Malfoy on it, so we thought he must be in the Room of Requirement, so me, Ginny, and Neville went to keep watch on it… But Malfoy got past us.” 

Now is McGonagall who glances at Hermione. Lupin has yet to look away from her. Hermione’s blood run cold on the thought that he might have seen through her.

“We heard Professor McGonagall’s warning and were about to return to our dorms when we saw him coming out.” Ginny saves his brother, “He was on his own, clutching that awful shriveled arm--” 

“His Hand of Glory,” Ron explains. “Gives light only to the holder, remember?” 

“Anyway,” Ginny goes on, “he must have been checking whether the coast was clear to let the Death Eaters out, because the moment he saw us he threw something into the air and it all went pitch-black--” 

“— Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder,” Ron cuts her off bitterly. “Fred and George’s. I’m going to be having a word with them about who they let buy their products.”

“We tried everything, Lumos, Incendio,” Ginny says. “Nothing would penetrate the darkness; all we could do was grope our way out of the corridor again, and meanwhile we could hear people rushing past us. Obviously, Malfoy could see because of that hand and was guiding them, but we didn’t dare use any curses or anything in case we hit each other, and by the time we’d reached a corridor that had light, they’d gone.”

“Luckily,” Lupin says hoarsely, “Ron, Ginny, and Neville ran into us almost immediately and told us what had happened. We found the Death Eaters minutes later, heading in the direction of the Astronomy Tower. Malfoy obviously hadn’t expected more people to be on the watch—” now it was McGonagall who shuffled, “--he seemed to have exhausted his supply of Darkness Powder, at any rate. A fight broke out, they scattered, and we gave chase. One of them, Gibbon, broke away and headed up the tower stairs —”

“To set off the Mark?” Harry asks.

“He must have done, yes, they must have arranged that before they left the Room of Requirement,” Lupin answers. “But I don’t think Gibbon liked the idea of waiting up there alone for Dumbledore, because he came running back downstairs to rejoin the fight and was hit by a Killing Curse that just missed me.”

“So, if Ron was watching the Room of Requirement with Ginny and Neville,” Harry says, Hermione knows what’s coming. He turns to her, “were you--?” 

“Outside Snape’s office, yes,” Hermione whispers, her eyes sparkling with tears, “with Luna. We hung around for ages outside it and nothing happened— We didn’t know what was going on upstairs, Ron had taken the map…I left Luna on watch and went to check—” she glances to McGonagall. “Not soon I heard Professor McGonagall’s warning.”

“Professor Snape left his office the moment he heard it.” Luna picks up the story, “He seemed confused to see me there, well, I guess it might have—Anyways, he told me to return to my tower, he even showed me a passage that led straight to the Ravenclaw Tower. He looked urgent. I thought he was going to help the students--” Luna’s voice cracks.

“It’s not your fault,” Lupin says firmly. “Luna, had you not obeyed Snape and got out of the way, he probably would have killed you.” 

“So then he came upstairs,” Harry continues, “he found the place where you were all fighting--” 

“We were in trouble, we were losing,” Tonks says in a low voice. “Gibbon was down, but the rest of the Death Eaters seemed ready to fight to the death. Neville had been hurt, Bill had been savaged by Greyback… It was all dark… curses flying everywhere… The Malfoy boy had vanished, he must have slipped past, up the stairs… Then more of them ran after him, but one of them blocked the stair behind them with some kind of curse… Neville ran at it and got thrown up into the air—”

“None of us could break through,” Ron says, “and that massive Death Eater was still firing off jinxes all over the place, they were bouncing off the walls and barely missing us...” 

“And then Snape was there,” said Tonks, “and then he wasn’t —”

“I saw him running toward us, but that huge Death Eater’s jinx just missed me right afterward and I ducked and lost track of things,” Ginny explains.

“I saw him run straight through the cursed barrier as though it wasn’t there,” Lupin picks up the story. “I tried to follow him, but was thrown back just like Neville…”

“He must have known a spell we didn’t,” whispers McGonagall. “After all— he was the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher… I just assumed that he was in a hurry to chase after the Death Eaters who’d escaped up to the tower…” 

“He was,” says Harry savagely, “but to help them, not to stop them… And I’ll bet you had to have a Dark Mark to get through that barrier — so what happened when he came back down?”

“Well, the big Death Eater had just fired off a hex that caused half the ceiling to fall in, and also broke the curse blocking the stairs,” tells Lupin. “We all ran forward — those of us who were still standing anyway — and then Snape and the boy emerged out of the dust — obviously, none of us attacked them—” 

“We just let them pass,” Tonks finishes in a hollow voice. “And next thing, the other Death Eaters and Greyback were back and we were fighting again — I thought I heard Snape shout something, but I don’t know what—” 

“He shouted, ‘It’s over,’” Harry says. “He’d done what he’d meant to do.”

They all fall silent. 

Somewhere outside, a phoenix was singing in a way Hermione had never heard before: a stricken lament of terrible beauty. 

How long they all stood there, listening, she doesn't know, but it felt like a long time later that the hospital door opened, making them all jump: Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were striding up the ward, Fleur just behind them, her beautiful face terrified.

“Molly — Arthur —” Professor McGonagall calls, jumping up and hurrying to greet them. “I am so sorry—” 

“Bill,” whispers Mrs. Weasley, darting past Professor McGonagall as she caught sight of Bill’s mangled face. “Oh, Bill!” 

Lupin and Tonks had got up hastily and retreated so that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley could get nearer to the bed. Mrs. Weasley bent over her son and pressed her lips to his bloody forehead. 

“You said Greyback attacked him?” Mr. Weasley asked Professor McGonagall distractedly. “But he hadn’t transformed? So, what does that mean? What will happen to Bill?”

“We don’t yet know,” said Professor McGonagall, looking helplessly at Lupin. 

“There will probably be some contamination, Arthur,” Lupin explains. “It is an odd case, possibly unique… We don’t know what his behavior might be like when he awakens…” 

Mrs. Weasley takes the nasty-smelling ointment from Madam Pomfrey and begins dabbing at Bill’s wounds. 

“And Dumbledore…” Mr. Weasley asks. “Minerva, is it true-- Is he really-- Dumbledore gone,” whispers Mr. Weasley, but Mrs. Weasley had eyes only for her eldest son.

“Of course, it doesn’t matter how he looks-- It’s not r-really important-- but he was a very handsome little b-boy-- always very handsome-- and he was g-going to be married!” 

“And what do you mean by zat?” Fleur says suddenly and loudly. “What do you mean, ‘’e was going to be married?’” 

Mrs. Weasley raised her tear-stained face, looking startled. “Well — only that —”

“You theenk Bill will not wish to marry me anymore?” Fleur demands and Hermione knows that the blond woman knows exactly what Mrs. Weasley is implying. “You theenk, because of these bites, he will not love me?”

“No, that’s not what I--” 

“Because ’e will!” Fleur says, drawing herself up to her full height and throwing back her long mane of silver hair. “It would take more zan a werewolf to stop Bill loving me!”

“Well, yes, I’m sure,” Mrs. Weasley says, “but I thought perhaps — given how — how he —”

“You thought I would not weesh to marry him? Or per’aps, you hoped?” Fleur snaps, her nostrils flaring. “What do I care how he looks? I am good-looking enough for both of us, I theenk! All these scars show is zat my husband is brave! And I shall do zat!” She adds fiercely, pushing Mrs. Weasley aside and snatching the ointment from her.

Hermione has had enough. She turns to leave when she Harry’s voice makes her freeze.

“That reminds me-- There is someone in the castle who knows about Malfoy.”

“What do you mean Harry?” Lupin asks.

“A few months ago, I overhead a conversation between Malfoy and Snape. Snape mentioned a girl—Someone he might have been dating—” a lot of things happens with that sentence.

Professor McGonagall, Madam Pomfrey and Professor Sprout all become tense. Hermione feels a Deja-vu when the Medwitch and the Herbology teacher become engrossed with the healing itens on top of the side-table beside Bill. Ginny looks straight at her and Hermione gulps down. “—Tonight, Dumbledore kept hinting at the girl, trying to make Malfoy see sense through her. Malfoy got agitated every time she was mentioned. He told Dumbledore that he had underestimated the girl, that she knew. He said the girl knew about everything, the mark, the mission, that she even helped Draco with it—”

“Who is this girl?” Lupin asks, “Some Slytherin girl?”

“Malfoy was dating Parkinson—”

“I don’t think it’s her—” Harry says, “From what I gathered, she is part of the Dumbledore’s Army, she told him about the coins Hermione created.” Hermione wants to disappear.

She also wants to cry and maybe run away.

“Who?” Ron asks confused. “Who could have that much of a bad taste and betray Dumbledore like that? Fight under his name and then help to plan his murder—”

It’s Luna who saves her. “For what Harry has told us, Draco wasn’t going to kill Dumbledore. Perhaps she might have been trying to help him.” 

“Oh yeah, seems very likely!” Ron snaps, “Telling him all about the coins! What else might she have told the ferret?”

“If Dumbledore tried to use the girl to make Malfoy change sides is because he knew she was trying.” McGonagall says, her voice stilled. “The girl no more helped with Malfoy’s plan than we were at fault tonight. Whoever she is, it’s not important. The girl is not a danger. All points to Mr. Malfoy trying to protect her.”

They all nod. Hermione tries to blink the tears away. 

It’s fascinating how fast they all adapted to McGonagall’s words and even more fascinating how quickly she took the position that Dumbledore left behind.

After the conversation died again, Hagrid enters the room and told everyone that Dumbledore’s body had been moved and everything else that had happened in the castle while they were inside.

Professor McGonagall starts giving orders and they all nod. The Weasleys and Fleur stayed beside Bill while the others left the Hospital Wing.

Harry goes with Hagrid and when Hermione is about to leave, McGonagall gets hold of her arm.

“Not so fast Miss Granger.” Professor McGonagall says. She is trembling as she looks up to the Professor.

“Professor, I—”

“Are you okay?” She asks, her voice worried. Hermione shakes her head. “I need you to tell me everything that you know.” the Professor says cutly.

Hermione nods.

**July 2nd, 1997. The Black Lake. Day 938**

Hermione watches the Ministry leaving and drags Ron with her to where Harry stands.

“What did he want?” She asks,

“The same thing he wanted back on Christmas.”

Hermione sighs, she looks around them, she can see the students going back inside. She catches a glimpse of Blaise and Theo, the girls in front of them. She can’t imagine how they are feeling, without knowing what happened.

Her chin trembles when she realizes she probably won’t talk to them again, “I can’t bear the idea that we might never come back.” She says softly, eyes still on their retreating figures.

“Maybe the school won’t close. It’s not like we have anywhere safer.” Ron says.

“Even if it opens, I won’t be coming back.” Harry says and Hermione isn’t surprised.

“What will you do?” She asks softly.

Harry tells his plans to them and the moment she looks at Ron she knows they are on the same page. They are going to follow Harry wherever he goes.

“We’ll be there Harry.” Ron says, Hermione nods.

“What? No!”

Hermione had just lost Draco, her Slytherin friends and the Headmaster. She would make sure to never lose her boys.

“You told us on our first year that we could turn back if we wanted.” She starts, “I guess we had time, haven’t we? We will be together. We will always be together.” She finishes and takes his hand on hers.

Harry nods and she almost cries with the grateful smile he gives them.

Harry is about to say something else when Luna and Neville passes them, Luna gives them a small smile.

“Do you think it’s her?” Harry asks them, but he holds Hermione's gaze.

“What?”

“The girl Malfoy was dating.” Harry says. He's still looking at her. Hermione uses Occlumency to make sure her expression doesn't betray her.

“Luna?” Ron chuckles, “I can’t imagine Luna dating someone—Much less Malfoy.”

“But it makes sense, doesn’t it?” Harry asks, “She was the one to defend the girlfriend back in the Hospital Wing and she is part of the Dumbledore’s Army. She knows about the coins and well, she is in Ravenclaw. She might be odd, but she has to be smart.” Harry concludes.

“Well, between all the girls who are part of the D.A. she is the most likely one” Ron agrees.

Hermione decides to not voice her opinion on this matter, instead, she asks more about what Draco and Dumbledore talked about the ‘girlfriend’.

“Not much.” Harry says, “Malfoy said Dumbledore had underestimated her—”

“Sounds like Luna to me.”

“--And Dumbledore said the girl had yet to fail to surprise him—”

“We all remember the Lion Head, right?”

“--Malfoy agreed to that. Dumbledore then tried to guilty trip Malfoy, saying she wouldn’t forgive him, that he had tainted her, destroyed her soul-- which made Snape really pissed, I never saw him that angry, not even with me.”

Hermione blood boils, she remembers the last words she said to Draco, regrets them immensely now. Her heart breaks knowing he must have been thinking about those words when listening to Dumbledore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a comment with your opinion. We are entering the final book now and I have eight more chapters ready. I think this story is going to be 55/60 chapters long.


	44. Forty Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the small delay. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well

**July 15th, 1997. The Granger’s House. Day 951**

It’s two different things. Knowing what you have to do and actually having the guts to do so. 

She’s been home since the day her parents picked her up at King’s Cross and she had promised herself that she’d do it as soon as they got home.

But here she is still. Two weeks later and her parents still know who she is. 

Every day in the news, there’s more and more deaths, the police and the doctors don’t know what is happening, they think it’s a new Serial Killer, but they haven’t found a pattern yet. Hermione knows the pattern: Parents of Muggleborns. 

But sometimes it’s just random muggles, just to create chaos, to show power.

Hermione has been looking outside her window since she left her trunk on her bedroom the day she arrived. Her things are already packed inside her magically enlarged purse: her books - some she stole from Hogwarts’ library – her clothes, a few potions – those she stole from Snape’s cabinet – sets of clothes and other things that might help them when they start their hunt.

But first. She needs to erase her parents’ memory and send them far away from London. She has everything ready, where she is going to send them, the names they will have. Yesterday she finished fixing their passports, Hermione doesn’t think McGonagall would be proud of her using magic for illegal acts. Hell, she isn’t proud of herself.

“Hermione dear! Dinner is ready! Come down sweetheart,” her mother calls.

Hermione grabs her wand and her purse. There’s no delaying anymore, she knows that. BBC News had reported just that morning a new murder, two towns away from where she lives. She won’t risk any other day.

When she gets to the last set of stairs, her father is sitting with his back to hers and Hermione points her wand to his nape.

 _Stupefy!_ She casts silently and her father sags on his chair. She moves quickly, so she doesn’t lose momentum. Her mum’s face is hiding from view, she is storing some food on the fridge, she doesn’t see Hermione casting the spell.

Hermione flinches when her mother falls on the floor and her immediate reaction is to check if she’s okay. 

She vanishes the shards of the vessel and the salad from the tiles. After levitating her mother and moving her to their sofa, she vanishes all the food, stores the dishes and clean the table that was just set up.

Hermione leaves the kitchen without at second glance to her unconscious parents. Her hands are trembling and there are a few tears escaping from her eyes. In her parents’ bedroom, she grabs their travel suitcases and start packing for them. Is winter in Australia this time of the year, so she puts a few jackets and coats, she throws all of her mom’s favorite blouses. She doesn’t know how long the war will take, so she throws a few dresses as well. 

Her father’s suitcase is easy to pack, she just puts everything inside, a few of his favorite books, his flashlight and other hiking equipments. Their toiletries are next and soon everything is packed, and all traces of Hermione is erased from their room.

She places her modified passports and the plane tickets under the name of Monica and Wendell Wilkins on their dresser.

Her next stop is the hallway, there are countless of pictures on the walls, she erases herself from all of them.

She thinks she will lose it when she reaches her room. Her hand trembles so much and she gives up erasing her posters and pictures, instead, she packs everything on her trunk. When she leaves her room, it’s like she never stepped foot in there, it looks like a guest room, the drawers and the wardrobe are empty, her trunk is full of 18 years’ worth of things.

There are more pictures in the living room, she erases herself from all of them. 

Now it’s only her parents left. She stands in front of her mother first, wand pointed. Like this, Jean Granger looks like she is merely sleeping. 

_“Obliviate!”_ She whispers, the trembling gone from her hand. She is saving their life. They will die is she doesn’t do this. There’s no reason to cry.

It takes a while to modify all of her mother’s memory, she goes all the way back since the day her mother found out she was pregnant and then starts from there.

She is tired when she finishes, all the magic draining her. Hermione fishes a restorative potion from her bag and downs it. After shaking herself, she moves to her father.

When it’s done, she pulls her trunk and goes to the door. At the threshold, she says _“Reneverte!”_ and without looking back, she leaves her house.

But something at few meters makes her stop. At the bus stop, Severus Snape is sitting, pretending to wait for a bus while he reads a newspaper.

She moves towards him and sits on the bench next to him.

“You made the right choice.” He says in greeting.

Everything she done in the past hours comes down on her and she sets off crying. She sobs uncontrollably, and her shoulders shake with the strength of her cries. 

“They—I—” she tries, but her sobs make her chock up.

“The Dark Lord will send someone tomorrow to kill them. You saved their life Miss Granger.”

Hermione snaps her head at him, “What?” She mumbles.

“He confides in me many of his plans. I saw your name on the list. I came here to offer them a place to hide. I thought you were at the Weasley’s already.”

“No.” She sighs. Part of the reason why she prolonged her stay was that she didn’t want to deal with the Weasleys and their worry. She knows how they will react. Hermione doesn’t want Molly smothering her or suddenly become a mom to her. Hermione still has one, she only doesn’t remember her.

Snape reaches inside his pocket and removes a book and a folded paper. He hands them to her.

“This book is charmed so the cover will change from time to time and only you can read what are in the pages, if someone else tries to read they will find instructions to advanced potions.” He explains, “I followed the charm you did on the coins, I will report the Dark Lord’s plans, so you can pass along to the Order. I don’t have time to try to explain everything and I bet they will kill me upon sight.”

“They won’t believe me. They will want to know where I’m getting information.”

Snape stays quiet for a while and sighs, “Tell Lupin. Show him your memories if you have to. He can tell Moody and Shacklebolt that he’s getting the information from the Werewolves.”

Hermione nods, “Professor McGonagall asked me to tell her what I knew. I didn’t tell her about you, I didn’t know if—”

“You did well. It’s better to have Minerva believe I betrayed Albus.”

She nods again, “And this? What is this?” She asks, motioning the folded paper.

“There’s an address to a safehouse. I’m the Secret Keeper.”

“An Order safehouse?”

“No. It’s for people who defected or the ones who refused to join.” He explains, “Miss Greengrass is there, she stayed behind after her parents left the country. The Zabinis are also there. A few others Slytherin families who didn’t want to join the cause or empty their vaults to be allowed to stay on the sidelines.”

“They could have joined the Order.” Hermione blurts and Snape scowls.

“Don’t be naïve Miss Granger. You just obliviated your parents. You know the Order couldn’t hide them. They know they have no place in the Order and even if they did, they’d be the first on the line of aim of the Death Eaters. Blood traitors are just as hated as the muggle-borns.”

“Okay. But I’m not hiding. I’m going with Harry to—”

“The possibility of you hiding yourself didn’t even cross my mind Miss Granger, I wouldn’t offend you like that.” He rolls his eyes, “I’m just letting you know so you have a place to stay instead of The Burrow.”

“Thanks”

“Keep the book close. Stay alive.” Snape says and gets up, ready to leave.

“If you get the chance—” she starts and Snape already looks pained. “Tell Draco I forgive him. Tell him that he could never taint me. Tell him I love him.”

“Anything else?” 

“Stay alive Professor.” She says and it’s her who turns around now, ready to leave.

 

**July 16th, 1997. Snape’s Safehouse. Day 952**

After stopping at the muggle bank to withdraw the money her parents have been saving for her and hurriedly going to Gringotts to exchange for wizard money, she had now a little bit over a thousand galleons on her pockets. 

Hermione only hoped it would be enough for them as she was sure Harry wouldn’t have the mind to withdraw money before setting off and Ron, well, they all knew.

Now she's standing in front of an old house, with her paper clutched in her hands. The house seems to be empty from the outside, but she knows it isn't true. The house is also far from ordinary: three stories with a steep roof. The house looked imposing, an air of aristocracy with its asymmetrical shape, in some ways, it reminded her of the house in Grimmauld Place.

Pocketing the paper, with the hand not pulling her trunk, she turned the door handle. For a few seconds, nothing happened, but then the door was being opened and she was crossing the threshold only to be engulfed by a pair of arms and blonde hair.

The girl’s perfume is unmistakable, and she is quick to return the hug, her head burrowing on the blonde’s neck and tightening her arms around the shorter girl.

“I thought I wouldn’t see you again, I was so worried, we keep seeing the news of muggle borns—”

“I’m okay Daph.”

“How? How are you here?” Daphne asks after pulling back, there is a few tears in her eyes.

“Snape. He gave me the address.” She explains and finally looks inside the house.

The interior is just as grand as the outside. The mid-tone polished floorboards covering all the floor, the walls cluttered with old portraits - all of them staring glaring at Hermione, long and ornate curtains on each of the stained glasses at the end of the hall. There was another corridor on Hermione’s left and a staircase on her right that probably lead probably to more rooms.

Daphne pulls her towards the door that opened to the living room. She finds a dark-skinned woman sitting in one of the mahogany button-backed chairs. There are at least another three chairs, a chaise and two sofas around the fireplace with hand-carved engravings. 

The woman looks up from the Prophet she was reading, and recognition dooms in Hermione. She knows those eyes and that eyebrow.

“Hello. You must be the muggle born.” The woman greets, tilting a little her head, Hermione can see the top of her dark green toque. 

“My name’s Hermione Granger.” She replies, “You must be Blaise’s mother. It’s a pleasure to meet you”. She greets honestly, even though the woman’s eyes are not kind.

“Pleasure all mine. My Blaise told me a lot about you” Mrs. Zabini says, this time she drops the Prophet on the table and gets up from her chair. She is wearing a long emerald green with orange stripes skirt and a low-cut dress shirt that is shades darker than her skirt. Hermione feels oddly underdressed with skinny jeans and a t-shirt. “Specially how utterly enchanted he was by you.” 

Hermione can’t help but to raise a single eyebrow. Blaise? Utterly enchanted?

“Granger!” Speaking of the devil.

Hermione twirls and she soon finds the boy at the end of the stairs, dressed in muggle sweatpants and a tank top, his skin is glistening and Merlin he _is_ out of this world.

He notices her ogling and take his time finishing the distance between them. 

“Missed me much?” He asks with a smirk and Hermione snorts, all effect shattered.

“It’s been a little over two weeks. Don’t flatter yourself,” she says and Blaise rolls his eyes.

“I’m glad to see you.” He says softly and with both hands on her cheeks, presses a light kiss on her forehead.

Blaise removes himself from her and stands beside his mother, the contrast between the two almost makes Hermione second guess her aforementioned thoughts of their similarities.

He is sweating while his mother looks pristine, he has as smirk while his mother a calculating smile, his eyes shine with unfiltered happiness and hers show nothing. Besides their skin color, they look nothing the same.

“So, you met mum?” He asks, Hermione’s eyes widen when he slaps lightly her bum, “This is Nneka Zabini, you need to thank her for all my greatness.” Blaise smirks, he knows Hermione will be tempted to disagree with “all his greatness” but by doing so she’d offend his mother.

Hermione smiles politely and Daphne stifles a giggle.

“I see now what you meant Blaise,” his mother starts, “it does seem very hard for her to refrain from speaking the truth.” She finishes and Hermione blushes furiously, Daphne struggles even more and Blaise all but barks a laugh.

“You have no idea, mother.”

“I will excuse you three now, you seem to be in dire need to catch up.” Mrs. Zabini says and leaves the room.

Daphne doesn’t wait a second, “Come, I will show you your room.”

“Where are your things Granger?” Blaise asks,

“By the doorstep, I left my trunk there when Daphne pulled me inside.”

Blaise goes to retrieve her things and Daphne guides her to the stairs. A few portraits murmurs insults towards her.

“Shut up!” Daphne hisses and flicks her wand towards two of them, sending specks of dust and blocking their view. The portraits splutter indignantly.

“Don’t worry, I am more than used to that from Grimmauld Place.”

The girls enter in a long corridor with many doors, they cross a few people, some Hermione recognizes from school and others she has no idea, all of them stare at Hermione with a hint of disgust.

“The house originally belonged to Severus’ mother family, but after she married the muggle she was disowned. Since there is no other Prince alive, Snape managed to get the house back, but he never lived here, I mean, I understand, this house is ridiculously big, and the portraits are extremely rude.” She says pointedly to one of the portraits, Hermione thinks she recognizes him from Grimmauld. "Despite being big, it was lacking bedrooms, I guess the Princes were all very adept at Potions, so most of the rooms were storages for ingredients or libraries—We needed to clean and replace most of the stuff, so we could fit everyone.”

“Who else is here?”

“Pansy and her family is here, she has a little sister, did you know that?” Hermione shakes her head, “Well, that’s Pansy alright.” Daphne rolls her eyes, “Anyways, the ones you know: Theo is also here, the Bulstrodes are here as well, Tracy and her mom are here—they ran from their father, he joined the ranks--, the Carrow twins—” Hermione’s eyes widen, “Not those twins, Hestia and Flora, they were part of Slug Club—”

“I remember them.”

“Oh yeah, you were there as well. Malcon Baddock, Terrence Higgs and Adrian Pucey are here, they weren’t on our year. There’re a few people that I don’t know the name of, they are mostly Minister’s officers”

“How—How did everyone ended up here?”

Daphne tenses before replying, her eyes get extremely sad, “You will see.”

Hermione nods and they walk the last steps in silence. When Daphne opens the door, Blaise is already inside with her trunk, he is sitting beside a very bruised Theodore Nott.

Hermione gasps.

“Not that pretty anymore, right?” Theo jokes, Daphne is quick to go to his side and plant a kiss to his hair.

“Still pretty to me.” She mumbles, and he closes his eyes at that.

“What happened to you?” Hermione asks, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

She takes unsure steps toward him and kneels beside his bed.

“Father wanted me to join, I refused. I guess it wasn’t a question. He beat me up, without magic, Father likes to use his fists like a muggle when he deems it’s not worth to use magic. It was like this with my mother and then with me. It was my mother’s house elf who knocked him out while he was beating me up. Topsey went to get Snape—” Theo tenses, his eyes widen, and Daphne holds his hand.

“We are now all in the same broom mate,” Blaise encourages and gives Theo’s leg a squeeze.

Theo nods before continuing, “Because of the psychological trauma I went through childhood, I have seizures. Most of the time they are like epilepsy, with convulsions, falling and shaking, but I also have partial seizures, that comes in the form of a temporary loss of attention, I’m sure you noticed them.” He says, and Hermione can remember a few times where she thought Theo had just spaced out in the conversation. “My mom and Snape were classmates in Hogwarts, they remained friends and since I was a child, Snape prepared my potions, so I wouldn’t have them, but they only treat the convulsions.

‘So Topsey went to get Snape, for fear I would have another one and when he came, he brought me here. I couldn’t go anywhere else; my father would have found me. I had been here for two days when the Parkinson’s appeared—”

“That’s my story to tell.” They hear a cold voice behind them and they look toward the door, where Pansy stands, leaning. “Nice to see you Granger,” she greets and enters the room, settling herself on the floor beside Hermione, “still looking green I see,” she tells Theo, who just rolls his eyes.

“Matching your father.” He retorts, and Pansy’s eyes darken dangerously.

“Watch your tongue Theodore.”

“Can I finish my story then?”

“No. I will finish.” She says and turns to Hermione, “We were dining, not even a week after being back from Hogwarts, the Dark Lord and a couple of his men were present. The worst of them. Because he likes to bring the scum when making business deals.” She shuddered, “The wolf and that sadistic bitch was there, not Bellatrix, her apprentice, Alecto. Dad was secretly funding the cause because he didn’t want to join, The Dark Lord wanted more, my dad refused. The next second my sister-- she’s five, I will introduce you later, she was in the arms of Greyback, that sick fuck loves children. He likes to bite children and change them—” another shudder, “Mum and dad lost it. Both of them had their wands out in a wink, Mum Stupefied Alecto and Dad hexed Greyback, I grabbed Prim and ran. The Dark Lord tortured my Dad, painted him in all the different colors, broke several things, he was almost dead when Narcissa appeared. She ordered us to pack what we could and sent us here.

‘My dad has been being treated here since, he is still unconscious, but he is healing. Mum doesn’t leave his side, Prim is scared but unharmed. We’ve been here since. More people kept coming, Daph was next, then the Zabini’s. Then I lost track.”

“Snape and Narcissa are bringing all these people?”

“No. Most of it is just Narcissa’s doing.” It’s Daphne who speaks. “When my parents ran away and I decided to stay, I went to her for help, I didn’t know where Pansy was, neither Theo. I was scared. She sent me here.”

“She was the one who told my mother as well. But Snape is the Keeper, so everyone that she brings, she needs to ask for Snape to write down the address.”

“I’m sorry. To all of you.” Hermione says.

“Don’t be. I’ve never been prouder.” Pansy says, “I thought father would join. I almost expected him to. It almost cost him his life, but we are safe now.”

“And you, what are you doing here?” Theo asks, “I thought you would be with the Weasleys. I didn’t think you would accept anything from Snape after what happened.”

“I will be. Not just yet. I—” her voice cracks, there’s so much they don’t know.

“You knew.” Pansy says, her voice a whisper.

 _“Muffiato!”_ Blaise casts, “spill.”

She looks to all of them, from Theo’s bruised face, to Daphne’s head resting on top of Theo’s. From Blaise, who still has a hand on Theo’s leg and to Pansy beside her.

“I knew Draco had to kill Dumbledore, he told me—Merlin, I even told him when to do it—” she receives four pairs of stunned eyes in her direction, Hermione sighs, “During Slughorn’s Christmas Party, Harry overheard a conversation between Draco and Snape, Snape told Draco that Narcissa had made him do an Unbreakable Vow to help Draco. She knew he couldn’t do it, she asked Snape to do in his place—”

“Draco was right. Potter really was a pain in his ass.” Blaise laughs.

“Shh. Let her finish.” Pansy says.

“After Christmas, after Draco told me what he was, I asked for some time to think it over.” Pansy glares at her now. “During that time, I stumbled on Snape and he knew about me and Draco—all the teachers knew by then. I confronted him about it, asked why he hadn’t told Vol—”

“Don’t say it!” Theo shouted, cutting her off, he grimaces after, his hand going to his ribs, “There are talks of his name being made into a Taboo.”

Hermione nods, “You-know-who then. I asked why he hadn’t told him, he gave a weak excuse and I knew it was bullshit, I was extremely rude to him that day, I was angry about Draco, because I knew both him and Dumbledore knew about Draco’s mission and neither of them were doing anything to stop or to help Draco, to protect him—”

“As if that old fool would have done anything for either one of us.” Pansy scoffs.

“But that’s where you are wrong.” Hermione says, “He did. Dumbledore knew about Snape’s and Narcissa’s Unbreakable Vow. He asked Snape to kill him in Draco’s place.”

“What?” The other four blurted,

“Yes. Dumbledore was dying already. I guess he had months left. He was cursed—”

“The hand!” Daphne exclaimed, Hermione nodded.

“The two of them let Draco plan and almost die with stress over something they had planned between them. I was so angry, so angry.” She says, all her anger coming back, remembering those nights where Draco looked pale and sickly.

Pansy wraps her hand around Hermione’s.

“I helped Draco,” she whispers, “I—He lied to me. He told me he had to bring Dumbledore to Vol—You-Know-Who and the only way was through the Vanishing Cabinet in the Room of Requirement. It was a lie. He needed to fix it, so he could bring the Death Eaters in. I helped him. Bill Weasley has a scar across his face because I helped bring them in.” 

All of them turn away from her, eyes down. She understands now. They would have done the same. Slytherin, is what they are. They understand Draco’s doing.

“When he told me the truth… When he asked me to notify the teachers—” she takes a deep breath, “I told him I couldn’t forgive him for that. For lying. For using me. He went to kill Dumbledore with those last words. I hate myself for saying that. For flinching away from him then.”

“Granger.” Theo says, “Draco knows. He knows what would cost to ask you that and he doing it anyway? It means he knows how much you love him. He knows you would hate him for that, but it wouldn’t make you hate him. Wherever he is right now, whatever sick thing is being asked of him—” a collective shiver runs through them, “he knows how you feel. And that’s why the Dark Lord won’t win this war.” Theo says, his voice fierce now.

“What?”

“Because he looks down so much, so much on the power of love. That’s his weakness. His inability to see that his followers, the ones not crazy, the brains behind his operation, they all love. They all have something that they care more than this lunacy.” Theo explains, “Pansy’s dad funded his campaign in secret, not because he believed, no, but because beyond that, he was scared for his family. The moment he got Prim, they turned. Everyone in this house is here because they have something to lose. Snape, the one the Dark Lord believes to be his most trusted follower, obviously is not that trusted if this house is any clue and if you of all people, are here as well. He thinks he has the Malfoys, but Draco was willing to risk his family when he told you about his mission, Narcissa is using her position of the matriarch of the biggest wizarding family to sneak other families away from her Lord. Lucius is so deep in all this shit that the only thing he can do is please the Dark Lord and hope for it to be enough. His biggest vaults are the families who are with him out of fear, he threatens them enough, they turn. He can’t build anything from the Lestranges and the Carrows.”

“They’ve been deemed evil and crazy years ago, they don’t have any influence.” Daphne picks up from Theo, “They only stir fear. That’s why he needs the Malfoys, the Blacks, the Notts, the Parkinsons and the Greengrasses. Because we might have been all Slytherin, but our families have their business, their influence, their respect. We have the names the Dark Lord never had.”

“That fucker is a half-blood.” Pansy snorts, “He should be the first to be put in check.”

“You know?” Hermione asks surprised, she didn’t think the birth of their Lord, as they call, would be a subject openly discussed.

“Of course, we know,” they all roll their eyes as Pansy replies with another snort.

“We are the Sacred Twenty-Eight.” Pansy says, as if is obvious, Hermione guesses it probably is. “There are twenty-eight pureblood families on that list. Families that have been Pureblood for generations upon generations. There’s no Riddle there. His mother was descendent of Salazar Slytherin, but his father was a Muggle. A whole Muggle, not even a muggle-born. It’s not common knowledge but we know. We all have been raised to learn all about the Twenty-Eight.” 

“Bellatrix follows him blindly even though she knows he’s no pureblood?”

“That woman is crazy.” Theo says, “She’s been for years now. She was even before her 14 years in Azkaban. I don’t know what she’s able to process or not. Draco used to tell me how it was impossible to have her follow a single conversation without her giving a mad cackle or cursing an elf on her way.”

They all stay quiet for a while, Draco’s name in the conversation leaves them lost in thoughts. How is he, what is he doing, is he safe? In here, they all have each other, Theo and Daphne have their fingers tangled and heads resting on each other. Pansy has her family, Blaise’s mom is safe and away from Theo’s dad, all that he wanted.

“And you Granger?” Theo asks, after noticing her sad eyes. “How are you?”

She sighs, her eyes fill with tears. Hermione hates how her hormones are all over the place this past week. She cries at the simplest things. 

“I—” she tries, her voice cracks and the lump on her throat sets a new wave of tears down her cheeks. “I sent my parents away. I erased myself from their memories, changed their names and sent them away. They are probably on a plane right now, on the way to their new life.” She sobs, her shoulders shaking.

She’s alone. She’s all alone. In a few days she will leave here and go on a Horcrux hunt with Harry and Ron. They will be alone. 

“I’m so sorry Hermione” Daphne says and she untangles herself from Theo to hug her, Pansy follows suit and soon Blaise is also on top of them. Hermione is not the only one crying.

“You are here with us now. It’s okay.” Daph says when they pull away.

Hermione shakes her head, “But I’m not staying.” She says, “In a week or two I will go to Harry, he has stuff he needs to do, I’m going with him.”

“Granger” Theo says, “It’s not your fight. Stay.”

“I can’t.” She says, without hesitation, “It is my fight Theo. It’s my best friend who has the power to bring him down. It has always been him. I need to stay by his side. I can help him, I know that I can. And besides, I want to bring my parents back, I want them to be safe as my parents. I want Draco to be away from his clutches. It’s my war.”

“Potter wouldn’t have passed his first year if it weren’t for you.” Pansy says, her eyes rimmed head, “You think it’s him? Granger, you are a force. You are able to move mountains. Yeah, maybe Potter is the one who cast the spell at the end, but it’s you who clears the way for him. It’s you who will put him there.” Pansy says vehemently. She grabs both of Hermione’s hands, “Just make sure to come back to us.”

Hermione nods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please leave a comment. I love hearing your thoughts about the story, even when I can't answer them. Next update comes by the end of this week.


	45. Forty Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I finally finished writing this fic. It only took me six years and many breakdowns . I am absolutely floored with gratitude for everyone who read this fic until now. Now that I finished, I can say this work will have 55 chapters.  
> So we have oficially ten chapters left! It's been a ride.

**July 18th, 1997. Snape’s Safehouse. Day 954**

Living with a bunch of Slytherins was trying. Besides her friends, the others didn’t have anything good to say to Hermione. She’d often hear nasty comments about her or her parents or have people murmuring for her to find another place to stay. 

During breakfast, Tracey Davis stared at Hermione for fifteen minutes before Pansy asked if Tracey wanted an autograph. The girl scurried after that. 

On that morning, Gemma Farley arrived, spurting a vicious cut under her ribs. Everything happened so fast, Hermione didn’t see Snape, only heard his cold snarling voice ordering someone to help the girl, because he couldn’t stay.

A woman grabbed Gemma-- Hermione only knew her name because she was Prefect on Hermione’s first year, pulling the girl towards one of the rooms that were rearranged as a makeshift infirmary. The house’s Healer wasn’t in, she had left yesterday to find new potions. There was a commotion, names were being called, the portraits moved everywhere around the house, going to their other pictures, trying to find help.

Between them there wasn’t any healers, anyone with enough knowledge. They were either rich beyond imagination or desk workers. No one with knowledge of how to remove dark curses and stop magically induced bleeding.

Hermione run through the knowledge in her head. She knew a very simple diagnostics charm, that would have to be enough to see what happened.

She pushed people aside before the thought completely settled on her mind. Readying herself, she rushed to the fraying woman, she was scarily pale now. Kneeling besides her, Hermione ripped her blouse open, taking a close look at her cut.

“I will need you to make way, there’s too many people here.” Hermione says, her voice surprisingly steady. 

She pulls her wand to cast the diagnostics charm, yellow and blue colors appear. Gemma was stabbed with a cursed knife, the venom wasn’t that strong, a mild one, the only thing it did was to prevent the wound to close, making the victim lose a lot of blood. If not treated soon, then it could lead to death.

_“Tergeo!”_ Hermione casts, clearing all the dried blood, with a clear wound it’s easier to see where the blade had cut.

She works fast, cleaning the blood and removing the curse. Because of the amount of blood spilling it’s hard to keep a clear sight of the wound and where the curse presses on her liver. Hermione wipes her forehead, now sweating with effort. 

“She needs a blood replenishing potion.” Hermione says, “The curse is making her lose too much blood—”

“Wimpy,” a woman’s voice sounds in the room. “Grab a few vials from the manor. Make sure to not be seen.”

“Yes Mistress, Wimpy will be back real fast.” A loud pop and the elf disapparates. Hermione doesn’t look up to see where the help came from.

She’s getting tired now, with all the effort and magic, almost all of the curse is gone, she casts _“Congessi Subsisto”_ for one last time and finally the bleeding stops, there’s a collective release of breath.

_“Secat remendium”_ she casts at last, and a fine scar appears on the girl’s liver. 

With the bleeding gone and the situation controlled, Hermione finally takes a moment to breath and see around her.

Everyone is looking at her with a mix of perplexity and wariness. The ‘pop’ of the Elf returning snaps them out of the shock.

Wimpy bows to Hermione at least three times and hands the vials in her shacking tiny hands. Hermione thanks the Elf and the poor thing all but scurries out of the room.

Hermione pours the drink on the unconscious girl’s mouth and quickly a little bit of color returns to the girl’s complex.

She coughs awkwardly, “She will be fine, she only needs to be on the potion for a day so all the blood she lost is restored. The blade was cursed, but I managed to clean the wound completely. She will be fine.” She mumbles stupidly, Hermione hates how much she feels like being judged.

Her eyes run through the crowd watching her, her breath catches in her throat when she realizes who’s the woman in between Nneka Zabini and what can only be Pansy’s mom. To where the Elf is standing with his big head bowing and long nose pointing to the floor.

Narcissa Malfoy stares at Hermione fixatedly, curiosity clear on her features. Hermione dumbly blushes as she realizes this is the first time she is meeting Draco’s mom. Hermione is bloodied and sweaty. 

Narcissa raises a single perfectly plucked eyebrow and Hermione is two seconds too late in raising her walls around her mind the way Draco taught her.

The Malfoy Matriarch freezes when she manages to read that last thought in Hermione’s mind. Hermione is scared she might as well had discovered everything just in how guilty Hermione looks.

Their staring content is broken when people start shuffling around, a man raises Gemma from the bed she is lying and sets her somewhere else, somewhere cleaner. Pansy and Daphne brings Hermione towels and they mutely clean Hermione’s hands.

“Narcissa, she—” Hermione mumbles, Pansy tries to shush her.

“Not now.” Pansy says, “There’s a lot of people paying attention.”

The two Slytherin grabs Hermione and pulls her out of that room, when they pass the mothers, Pansy and Daph greets them and Hermione refuses to meet Narcissa’s eyes.

“Come on,” Pansy hisses and all but drags Hermione away.

“So, she’s the mudblood our children befriended.” It’s the last thing she hears before turning on the corridor.

The girls drag her to the room they are sharing, Hermione is trembling both from exertion and from nerves. She feels a little dizzy and a part of her thinks she might be sick at any moment.

“Granger,” Pansy says, Hermione feels more than sees Pansy’s hand grabbing her face, “look at me. You need to calm down.” Hermione thinks she’s nodding.

“Narcissa—”

“She’s not here anymore, she left. You are safe Granger, you are safe here.”

“My head, she saw—Draco, she saw.”

“I know Granger. I know.” Pansy says and Hermione can focus on the raven-haired girl in front o her now. Pansy’s eyes are kind, it’s the first time Hermione sees them like this. “It’s going to be okay.”

Hermione nods and takes a long breath. She looks around, Daphne is sitting on the bed, giving them space, Blaise is by the door. 

“I will ask mom about Narcissa.” Blaise says, “test the waters, find what she knows.” He looks at Hermione for a second longer and when she doesn’t reply, he nods and leave them.

 

**July 22nd, 1997. Snape’s Safehouse. Day 958**

“Are we going to talk about this or are you going to pretend nothing is happening?” Hermione’s head snaps at Pansy’s sharp voice.

“The food didn’t sit well.” Hermione replies, she wipes her mouth and washes the vomit of the vase.

“If you had eaten any of it before leaving almost running with just the smell of it”. Pansy presses and Hermione gulps.

She’s been thinking about it for a while now. With everything that happened on the last weeks she didn’t think about her period – or missing period as it was – but now, after settling a little at the Safehouse, she realized her period was supposed to arrive on the first week of July. 

But she knows stress can make periods late, but stress doesn’t explain the dizziness, the soreness in her back and the nausea with about every food.

She knows what explains. 

“It can’t be.” She mumbles desperately. She can’t be pregnant. She has Horcruxes to destroy, she has a war to fight. She has no time for pregnancies.

“My mum used to help others pureblood mothers during their pregnancies, she was an obstetrician medwitch. She could cast a specific diagnosis charm—”

“No!” Hermione cuts, “She will be able to see who’s the father, won’t she? It shows in the magical signature of the baby. I can’t risk—”

“My mother wouldn’t tell The Dark Lord Granger.” Pansy hisses, her eyes narrowing.

“I didn’t mean that. I meant Narcissa.” Hermione whispers. 

Pansy sighs, she gets closer, helps Hermione to hold her crazy hair. “She already knows Granger.”

And Hermione might just be sick again. After that eventful morning, Blaise went to talk to his mother and then told them that all the women – his mother, Pansy’s mother and Narcisa – knew about her. Not her exactly, but of the existence of a muggleborn in their kids’ life. They all knew, for quite some time, in fact, because apparently, they had been blatantly obvious. Blaise, by showing off his stationary gifs, Pansy with the ever-growing pile of fashion magazines and Draco, well Draco asked his mother for a Malfoy heirloom. 

But such heirloom wasn’t a topic of conversation, so either Narcissa didn’t know what Draco had done with it or she had decided to keep it quiet. Blaise told them that his mother and Pansy’s mother didn’t know anything about Hermione and Draco’s relationship. As it was, they only knew there was someone all of them had befriended and decided to let it happen if it meant their kids would stray away from their parent’s path.

Finding out that this person had been Hermione Granger, Harry Potter’s best friend had shocked all of them. 

“I—”

“I will ask mom to not tell her.” Pansy says and when Hermione makes a face, she cuts her of, “you are going with Potter to hell knows where, you can’t go without knowing for sure.” Hermione nods dejectedly. 

She can’t run away from this. She’s going to leave with Harry and Ron soon, she can’t slow them down, she needs to be prepared. “Okay.” Hermione mutters.

“Come,” Pansy says, grabbing Hermione’s hand and pulling her from the bathroom. She leads Hermione to the third floor, where she knows Pansy’s family and other important Slytherin families are staying. She hadn’t ventured to the third floor yet. 

Pansy knocks lightly on the door before entering. Hermione sees a small girl-- she’s only five, Hermione remembers, sitting on top of a small bed, a few rag dolls around her. The girl looks exactly like Pansy: the same green eyes and the same raven black hair, only Prim has hers cut short around the chin. 

“Pansy! What’s the meaning of this?” Hermione hears Pansy’s mother voice and searches for the sound, finds the woman standing protectively beside her husband. Who’s awake. Hermione doesn’t remember Pansy telling them that her father had regained consciousness.

Pansy, in means of replying, tugs the collar of Hermione’s shirt down and pulls her necklace from under the shirt. The effect is immediate. Pansy’s mom’s eyes widen at the sight of it and Pansy’s father shifts on the bed.

“The Malfoy promise stone.” He says and Hermione holds it protectively. 

Pansy nods. “She’s here under Professor Snape’s orders.” The girl says, “No one besides us and Professor Snape know about their relationship.”

“Narcissa doesn’t know about this.” Pansy’s mother says.

“She knows.” Hermione says, “I felt her in my head that day. She caught snippets of my memory before I blocked it.”

Pansy’s mother looks offended at being spoken to by a muggleborn. “She didn’t tell you for the same reason we didn’t tell anyone about father being awake.” Pansy says and her mother narrows her eyes at Pansy. 

“Why is she here, Pansy?” Her father asks. “I doubt you brought her here without a purpose.” 

Pansy nods and turns again to her mother. “We think—” Pansy stops, looks at Hermione, who sighs.

“I need you to confirm whether I’m pregnant or not.” Hermione says. There’s a notable shift in Pansy’s father expression, in the way his shoulders, even bandaged up, stiffen and in the way he tries to sit more formally. Pansy’s mother looks down at her husband with a surprised expression. Hermione doesn’t understand, but she knows that whatever this is, it’s the reaction Pansy expected and wanted.

Pansy’s father motions to his wife to do the spell. His eyes never leave Hermione.

The woman asks Prim to leave the bed and the girl grabs the dolls and shuffles closer to her dad to watch. Hermione lays on the bed. She watches as the woman positions her wand over Hermione’s belly and Hermione has the sudden urge to wrap her arms around it. “This isn’t going to hurt.” The woman says, noticing the small panic in Hermione’s eyes.

There’s a faint yellow light hovering over Hermione’s belly, similar to that she casted on Gemma a few days ago. But this one shimmers brightly and expands, Hermione watches with slightly tearful eyes as the light becomes golden and twists and turns, much like the movements of her Patronus. She knows what this is, this is the magical signature of the baby.

“It’s—” Pansy’s mother starts, and she gives Hermione a small smile. “You are carrying twins.” There’s a gasp. Definitely hers and also maybe Pansy’s. “I thought at first that it was only one and his or hers magical signature was strong, which was possible, given the parents, but—” another smile, “they are different. They feel different.” She waves a wand and the golden light splits in two, one twirls and the other circles around the first one.

Hermione cries then, fully, unabashedly. Twins. For someone who started reading at age five and knew by age seven how babies were made, surely being pregnant with twins at age seventeen, in the middle of a war, it’s something almost unbelievable. She gives a small laugh, Merlin what a mess.

Pansy is at her side, “it’s going to be okay.” She says, “it’s going to be okay Hermione. I know it, I promise you, it’s going to be okay.” 

“You are five weeks along.” Pansy’s mom says. “Usually it takes us a little longer to realize, but since it’s twins, that’s probably why you already had some inkling. That and the magical signature of the babies. Even with two of them, is higher than what most women show this early in the pregnancy.”

Hermione only nods and puts a tentative hand over her belly. There are babies inside her. Babies. Draco’s babies.

She’s seventeen. She’s only seventeen. She’s going to hunt Horcruxes with Harry. She’s going to war. 

Hermione takes a deep breath; she tries to swallow down the lump in her throat. There’s no use crying now. The desperate need of her mother is smothering, and she stores that away as well.

“Do you have any potion that helps with the symptoms?” She asks.

“No. But I can get it done in a few days.”

Hermione grimaces, she won’t be here in a few days, she’s actually thinking in living tomorrow or the next day.

“Granger—” Pansy starts and Hermione is quick to cut her off.

“We’ve talked about this Pans.” Hermione says, “this doesn’t change anything.”

“It does.” Pansy stresses, “you are carrying babies.”

Mr. Parkinson looks at both girls. “Are you planning on leaving this safehouse?”

“Yes.” She answers, Pansy sighs. “I can’t stay here much longer. I’m with the Order. If I disappear it might be dangerous for both them and you guys.” She lies. She’s thankful that Pansy doesn’t sell her out.

Mr. Parkinson nods in comprehension. “I doubt they’d let your disappearance pass without a ruckus. Everybody knows how hotheaded Potter is.” He says and Hermione nods her agreement. Pansy makes a sound of frustration and her father shuts her up with just a look. “We are safe for now.” He says, his voice somber, “but we don’t know what tomorrow may bring. If you have to leave, then leave, because my family’s safety is my priority. But I also made a blood promise to Lucius Malfoy once.” Hermione’s eyes widen at that and her hands go straight to her belly. “Two years ago, we knew this day would come. We also knew that the likeliness of both of us surviving a second war is low. We promised each other to take care of each other’s family if something were to happen to us.”

Hermione understands now why Pansy did what she did the moment they entered this room. She knew about the promise, she knew her father would feel obliged to Hermione.

“Dear—” Mrs. Parkinson says, her voice strained.

“Lucius will hate this.” He says, “he will hate you for tainting his family line, be aware of this.” Hermione doesn’t flinch. She knows this well enough. She still has the scar of his curse. “But there’s no denying the necklace in your neck and the magical signature on your womb. You are his family now.” He looks at his daughter, offers her a small smile. “I don’t know if you are a blessing or a curse to this family. Pansy, could you please excuse us for a minute, take Prim with you.”

“What? Why?”

“Pansy.” Her mother says, much fiercer than her husband.

Pansy lets out a huff and after picking her sister up, stomps from the room.

Hermione feels slightly scared. She knows these people in front of her dislike her very being and Mr. Parkinson is only talking to her because of what is growing inside of her.

“You are a fighter.” Mr. Parkinson says. “I know you’ll fight. I can see it in you.”

“I will.”

“My daughter won’t be a part of it. She won’t join your side.” He says and Hermione doesn’t voice that Pansy is of age and can do what she pleases.

But Hermione doesn’t want her to. Hermione wants her here, safe. Just like the others. She can’t protect Draco, she can’t even know how’s he doing, but she knows the others are safe. Hermione nods. 

“The Parkinson Estate has extremely strong protective wards that keeps anyone who’s not a master of the house from entering. We can only have visitors if at least one of us is inside. Visitor’s can’t roam around the estate unattended, they can only enter a room after a master of the house has allowed it.” He tells her. “That’s why we don’t have a vault at Gringotts. There’s no need for a safer place. No one can stroll around unattended. The Dark Lord knows about this. He knows that when we left, the house locked itself.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because there’s only three more people that the house recognizes as its owners.” He says. “I think now, this number has gone to four. And the Dark Lord doesn’t know that. Not even the Malfoys know this, there were never a reason for them to enter our house without us.”

“Oh.” Hermione says. 

“If you ever find yourself in need of a place to hide, know that the Parkinson Estate will open its doors for you.” He says and Hermione nods.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. I’m only fulfilling my promise to them. Narcissa sent us here. I know they’d do the same. They already did.” 

“Before you leave,” Mrs. Parkinson starts, and Hermione can see the way her jaw clenches and unclenches. “Obliviate my daughter’s memory of this moment. Obliviate her knowledge of your pregnancy. You don’t know how dangerous it is to carry the Malfoy’s heir.” She says and a conversation with Pansy a month ago comes to mind, when their feet were buried in the sand and their hands were clasped together. _My mother hated the idea_ , Pansy had said about hers and Draco almost betrothal. “You have no idea. Specially in times like these. Don’t treat this information lightly.”

“I won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a comment, I love to hear your ideas.
> 
> I just realized that I forgot to mention in here that this work has a [Russian](https://ficbook.net/readfic/8529494) translation. Thank you [1ncogn1da](https://archiveofourown.org/users/1ncogn1da/pseuds/1ncogn1da) for your work


	46. Forty Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! this is a little bit of a filler before we go into the seventh book. I hope you enjoy it.

**July 26th, 1997. Snape’s Safehouse. Day 962**

Her things are already packed and by the main door by the time she gets the courage to say her goodbyes. The note from Snape appeared on the book during the night and it’s the only thing that pushed her to finally pack her things and leave them. She has a job to do. She clenches her fist around the roll of parchment in her pocket and knocks on the door with the other hand.

It’s Pansy who opens the door, it almost unsettling, the difference. Just this morning, Pansy’s eyes were worried and she kept glancing at her still inexistent belly, but now, after Hermione performing _Obliviate_ in an unassuming Pansy, it’s all gone.

“You are really going then.” She says, her eyes hard and jaw tense. Pansy steps aside and lets Hermione in, all the others are already there.

Theo is sat on the bed, all the many colors now gone from his face, the only proof of his father’s doing is inside of him. Daphne is beside him and she grips tightly on her boyfriend’s hand. Hermione thinks this is to keep Daphne from stopping Hermione. Blaise is on the other bed, he’s flipping through a book and has yet to look at her.

She’s afraid of taking another step inside the room, she’s afraid of postponing her departure for another day if they let her in. Hermione’s glad that Daphne is holding herself back, because Hermione thinks she’s one hug away from crumbling. 

It’s Theo who breaks the silence, he sighs before speaking. “Do you have everything you need?” 

She nods. “I have everything shrunken inside of my trunk and I stopped by Diagonal Alley before coming here to get the rest.”

“Good.” He says. He doesn’t offer her a smile. Hermione knows that he doesn’t agree with any of this and he won’t pretend otherwise.

“Be careful Granger.” Daphne says and her tone is different from the expression in her face. Hermione understands everything that is not being said.

“Will there be a way for you to tell us if you are alright?” Blaise asks and she turns to him. His head is facing the other side, anywhere but her.

“I don’t know. I don’t know where we’ll be staying and if it’ll be safe to write. I don’t know if—“

“Is there anything you know?” He cuts her off and snaps his head in her direction. Hermione liked better when he wasn’t looking. She’s seen murder before, she knows what a person looks like when they want to kill. Blaise is not that far off. She knows that he doesn’t want to actively kill her, but he looks like someone who’s very close to snapping and keeping her locked inside of a room until the end of the war.

“I know I can’t let Harry go alone and Harry’s going. I promised him I’d be with him and I will.”

“Fuck Potter.” He snarls. “He's going to get himself killed and he’s taking you with him. Bloody selfish arrogant hero pri-"

“Blaise.” Pansy says, her voice cold. Blaise shuts up and he’s back to his book, she knows he’s not reading a thing, not with how red his eyes look. Pansy turns to Hermione, expectantly.

Hermione knows she has to go. She knows that there will be no hugs, no crying and no one asking her to stay. Her grip on the parchment in her pocket slackens a little.

“You guys are returning to Hogwarts, aren’t you?” Hermione asks.

“Yes.” Theo says. 

“If you—if he—“ Hermione’s voice cracks and she takes a deep breath before continuing. “If Draco’s there, give him this.” She hands the parchment to Pansy, the one closest to her. “If he’s there, let him know that I forgive him. That what Dumbledore told him about me was a lie.”

“We will Granger.” Daphne says and Hermione looks away when she catches a glimpse of a tear in the blonde’s eyes.

“Be safe, you all.” Hermione says, “Hogwarts won’t be the same this year. Please be safe.”

They all nod and Blaise scoffs. “We are Slytherin Granger, we are not the ones who will be doing dumb shit.” 

“You do some pretty dumb shit as well.” She says. “Be safe Blaise.” _Please, please be safe._

“You too Granger.” Pansy says, “if you find a way to send us a letter, there’s no need to write anything, just a letter, just so we can know you are fine, please do.” 

Hermione nods. She knows she won’t write. She can't afford to put them in risk and maybe they know that as well. She turns around to leave and she vows to herself that she will see them again, that they are all going to make it. 

 

**July 26th, 1997. The Burrow. Day 962**

She holds onto her trunk to keep herself from swaying, being pregnant makes Apparation a tad bit more complicated.

The Burrows stands —crookedly — in front of her, there are a few lights on around the house and she realizes that this is the longest she’s been away from the Weasley’s since first meeting them.

The last time she came to the house was almost one year ago, when they all spent the final days of summer together before returning to Hogwarts for their sixth year. A year it’s not long, but it’s something when she used to come over every holiday and spend most of her summer here with the Weasleys.

There’s a few new addictions to the house, what looks like a room to the left of what is Ginny’s window; another window beside Percy’s old room. It’s truly magical the way this house still stands.

She takes her first steps towards the house, nerves almost getting the best of her. It’s a bit crazy, how this house used to feel like her home, how’d she rather spend her holidays here instead of her own house with her parents and now she doesn’t have parents and she also doesn’t want to be here. She thinks of the way she and Ginny left things back in the castle and how her’s and Ron’s relationship this year had been a rocky one and—

“Hermione!” She hears from someone above and looks up to find Tonks grinning and waving at her.

“Someone said Hermione?” A ginger head pops out from another window, two floors above, from this far she doesn’t know if it’s George or Fred. 

“Hermione!” A twin head comes beside the first, matching grins and slightly more exaggerated waves greet her.

What a stupid thought, of course she would still be welcome here.

She grins at them all and waves back. The door opens soon after and she takes the last few steps towards the threshold and straight into Molly’s arms.

“Hello my girl, how’ve you been? We thought you’d be here earlier! We were getting worried and—“

“I'm sorry Molly.” She says and offers the woman a smile, “with everything going on, i just wanted to spend more time with my parents.”

“Of course, you are right, family is important! Come on in, take your things to Ginny’s room, she’s waiting for you, she cleaned up a bed for you days ago.”

Hermione nods and feels a little bad about it, about hiding from Ginny while the girl had been waiting for her.

“Dinner will be served in a couple of hours. You look thinner, have you been eating well?” She asks, but Molly’s already turning to the kitchen, so Hermione doesn’t bother with answering. “—first it’s Harry, who comes here skinner than a Bowtruckle, now we have Hermione, argh, these kids—“ Hermione doesn’t hear the end of Molly’s monologue and only chuckles to herself.

“Wotcha Hermione!” Tonks greets her. Tonk's hair is bright red and she has a blinding smile. Remus is sat behind her, also smiling, but much more subdued. “How've you been? We were just about to go fetch you, Ginny said it never took you this long to come and—"

“Let her breathe Tonks.” Remus says with a chuckle. “Hello Hermione.” 

“Hello Professor.” She says with a small smile. She will have to talk to him sometime soon. 

“I've been waiting for you Hermione! I bet I’ve been driving Ginny insane—“

“Or everyone.”

“—but I wanted to tell you two together and I’m so excited!” Tonks is really excited, bits of her hair flash different colors and it’s only when Tonks lifts her hands to her face to hide a giggle that Hermione notices the golden band around her finger. Hermione looks behind Tonks to find a matching one in Remus’ finger. 

“Oh.” She says and she feels her eyes watering. Merlin, being pregnant is a ride. And she has just started. 

“You noticed!” Tonks chuckles, “did you imagine it? I myself couldn’t believe it when Remus proposed and—“

“I thought you wanted to tell both girls at the same time.” He says with a smile, it’s a soft one, Hermione notices. Nowhere near the one she saw on him when—no, it’s not Hermione’s business. It’s not the first time she keeps Remus’ secrets and she understands better than anyone else what it feels like to love someone that people won't approve.

“Oh you are right! Let’s go Hermione! I can help you unpack while we talk.” She says and all but tugs Hermione inside.

She takes a last look at her former professor and offers a “Congratulations" to him with the same soft smile he has been showing.

“Ginny!” Tonks greets when they reach Ginny’s room and just like Molly said, there’s already a second bed squeezed in the room and Ginny’s stuff that were there before, are all piled in a corner. Hermione feels so terrible. “Look who the cat dragged in!”

“Looks like you dragged in,” the girl replies with a chuckle. “Hello Hermione, got lost on the way?” 

Hermione smiles and sets her things down, “no, just wanted to stay longer with my parents, they’ve been on edge because of the news. The situation is getting ugly in the Muggle World as well.”

“Father told us that the Death Eaters’ actions are reflecting on the muggle world.”

“Yeah, there’s a lot of break-ins and disappearances, of course the muggle police can’t find a pattern, but we know it’s all muggleborns and half-bloods.”

“I hate them.” Ginny huffs and sits down on her bed. She shakes her head angrily and lets out a sigh. When she looks up, there’s a bright smile on her face, if it’s forced, it’s beyond Hermione to notice. “Spill it out Tonks.” Blaise’s words from months ago pops on Hermione’s head.

Tonks giggles and wiggles her hand in their face. The gold band shines and Ginny squeals at it before grabbing Tonks’ hand. “So that’s what you’ve been hiding for these past few days?” Ginny asks, her eyes wide.

“Yes! But not only that!” She says, “I wanted to tell you all the moment we arrived, but Remus wanted to tell Harry first, so we came into an agreement, I could tell you girls first and after he tells Harry we can tell everyone else.”

Ginny shakes her head amusedly, “Why Harry first?”

“Remus didn’t explain properly, he was too embarrassed about it,” she giggles happily and Hermione allows some of her happiness to shower her, “but I think it has something to do with him being best friend’s with Harry’s parents, you know? I think it’s something he feels they, James and Lily, should know first, you know? So, by telling Harry, it feels like somehow, he’s letting them know.”

“It makes sense,” Ginny nods and runs a finger carefully around the ring. “When did you two marry?”

“Just before coming here. It was quiet and in the muggle way, just us two and my parents making it official.”

Ginny still hasn’t looked up from the ring, so she misses the way Tonks’ right hand rests on her belly. Hermione breath hitches and she clenches her own hand to keep it from coming to her own belly. “What's the second thing?” Hermione blurts, “you said the marriage wasn’t the only news.” 

It shouldn’t be possible, but Tonks' smile gets even wider and it’s a huge difference from Hermione’s reaction to the same news.

“We are having a baby.” She says, gushing.

“WHAT?” Ginny shouts and Tonks shushes her, but she’s laughing.

“Yeah,” Tonks watches with warm eyes as Ginny moves to rest her palm on Tonks’ belly. An ugly thought crosses Hermione’s mind: Ginny wouldn’t be this enchanted with Hermione’s pregnancy. And not this eager to touch the still nonexistent bump. “We weren’t planning of course, not with this war, but it was a surprise.” Hermione opens her mouth to say that pregnancies are what happen when you have sex unprotected and Tonks catches her expression and laughs at her. “I know what you are going to say Hermione. I had sex education as well, okay?” 

“The potions didn’t work?” Ginny asks and there’s a hint of panic in her voice, Hermione raises a single eyebrow at that. She knows that Ginny was active this past year, but as far as she knows, Harry and Ginny have yet to have sex, unless…

“We didn’t use it.” Tonks confesses, “we honestly didn’t think about it, we just assumed because of Remus lycantrophy, he wouldn’t be able to have kids.”

Hermione hums, she doesn’t remember reading anything about the topic when she was trying to understand her professor during her third year. But she also hadn’t found anything that said that werewolves could procreate. Well, it just shows how little study the wizarding world have on werewolves, or anything that they don’t deem relevant.

“Is the baby going to be—“ Ginny starts, but stops mid sentence.

“That's what he’s worried. There isn’t any information about it.”

“Lycantrophy isn’t a disease,” Hermione says, “it can’t be passed on by genes. It requires a bite from a full turned werewolf.” She explains, “look at Bill, he got bitten by Greyback and the only thing that has changed is that now he prefers rare beef instead of well done.”

“I told him that, but he still worries, I worry too of course, but it doesn't matter much to me, I already love him or her endlessly.” 

The declaration startles Hermione. Tonks said it so sure, without a hint of doubt that it makes Hermione wonder. She hasn’t stopped to thinks about it—them properly, she has only thought about how this affect her immediate plans and how’s she going to break the news to everyone once her bump can’t be hidden anymore. She hasn’t thought of herself as a mum, of raising kids. Merlin she doesn’t even have a diploma.

“You are uncharacteristic quiet Hermione.” Ginny points out.

“She's being polite,” Tonks says with a small smile. “At last she learned that maybe not speaking her mind all the time is better.” There’s only a hint of judgment and bitterness there and Hermione lets it pass.

“It's not that, of course I’m happy for you.” She says, “i'm really happy that you found happiness again, it made me terribly upset seeing you then, I’m glad things worked out for you and Remus.” She says honestly, it’s true but— “I just can’t help but picture myself in your place and you know me, I’m a practical person.” Hermione says and it’s the most honest she’s been to them in ages.

“Thank you Hermione, truly.” Tonks says and grabs Hermione hands, squeezing it.

“I think you will be a wonderful mother.” Hermione says. She wonders if anyone will tell her this.

The girls talk until it’s dinner time, they talk more about Tonks’ marriage, as well as name ideas for the baby, but they also talk about the war, about how quickly things are moving since Dumbledore’s death and the way the Ministry looks nothing more like a string puppet to Voldemort. They also talk about Hogwarts and how this year is going to be like without the Headmaster and obviously, they talk about Harry. They worry so much, and without the rest of the Order, they can say how absurd it is that an almost-seventeen year old boy has to bear this war on his shoulders.

When Molly calls them for dinner, the table is set outside, which is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because she can escape from the heat of the inside, and curse because it comes with the bugs. 

“Hermione!” Fred greets her with a smile. She opens her arms for a hug and he’s quick to oblige.

“Are we hugging?” George says and soon enough he’s hugging them too.

“I find it fascinating how you two like her better now that you left school.” Ginny says with a laugh and she hears a male laugh behind her. She turns and there’s Bill and Charlie behind her.

“Hello!” She greets them politely and Charlie gives her a smile that is very much like Ron’s. “Nervous about the wedding?” She asks Bill, who only grins and shakes his head.

“I'm excited. But I might be in a couple of days, Fleur’s mother is coming and if you think Mother is terrible, you have to see the French.”

“Don’t speak like that about your mother Bill,” Arthur says when he comes out of the house, helping Fleur with the many dishes. “Hello Hermione, everything fine, I hope?”

“Yes.” She gives him a smile and looks around, “Where's Ron? I haven’t seen him yet.”

“Probably in his room.” Fred says.

“Moping.” George offers.

“He's not moping,” Bill roll his eyes, “he’s only missing his boyfriend.”

“Not even I miss Harry that much.” Ginny murmurs and the twins snicker at that.

Hermione rolls her eyes, “I will drag him out then.” She says and goes back inside.

She finds Tonks and Molly bringing the last of the food and Remus is loitering by the living room. He looks like someone who’d rather be in a place a little less crowded. Hermione seizes her chance when the women leave the house and she can hear both Molly’s voice chastising the twins and Tonks laughter. “Professor, can I talk to you after dinner?” She asks and he raises an eyebrow at her in question. “It's important.”

“Of course. Is everything alright Hermione? You looked quite shaken that day and I didn’t have time to talk to you or to Harry.”

“I'm not.” She says, there’s no use in lying to him, not when she plans in tell him everything anyway. “We will talk after dinner.”

“Okay. I will wait for you outside then. Near the pond.” He offers and she nods.

She still has no idea how she’ll try to convince Remus, but she will have to think about it later. Hermione finds Ron on his bed, it says a lot about his mood because he’s reading, or at least pretending to. 

“Hey,” she says by the door. “How've you been?”

“Took you long enough to see me.” It’s what he says.

“Tonks dragged me upstairs the moment I stepped inside. She had news.”

“So, she finally told what had her jumping around?”

“Yes,” Hermione smiles and sits on the bed beside him, she pretends not to see him shuffling closer. “But I’m not telling you, she wants to tell everyone when Harry arrives.”

“Whatever,” he huffs, “Is dinner ready?”

“Yeah, we are waiting for you, let’s go.” She says and offers him a hand when she gets up from the bed.

 

Dinner is a loud affair, it’s not always that the Weasley are all together — minus Percy, and it shows. The way Ginny adores Bill and hangs onto his every word, Charlie’s and Ron’s dynamics, Fred and George in their own world and messing around with everyone at the same time. He loves them, all of them. She remembers the 14 year old Hermione coming here from the first time and wishing her family were like this, she remembers coming here and seeing all the magic and wondering why, why couldn’t she be born in a magical family.

She listens as Molly tells Fleur teenager Bill stories and wonders if ten years from now, Molly will tell a less stuck-up Draco, stories about a teenager Hermione that used to behave like a mini-adult because she had so much to prove. She shakes her head at the thought, Lucius Malfoy almost killed Arthur. Hermione can’t think of a single possible reason for Molly to be anything but cold towards Draco.

Hermione looks at Fred and George and it baffles her really, how they just accepted it without questions, how they didn’t treat her differently from it, not when they have every single reason to despise him. It was Draco’s father who put that book on Ginny’s cauldron, Draco’s father who almost killed Arthur and constantly belittled this family, not to mention countless of comments from Draco himself throughout the years. Merlin, Draco and the twins even brawled once because of that ridiculous song. 

She’s sitting here, with this family, this laughing and smiling family and she loves the one person whose family has brought more torment to them. She loves Draco, whose aunt burned this house down barely a year ago and who was the one to bring the Death Eater who caused the scar in Bill’s face. And she’s thinking about Molly welcoming Draco with open arms? She feels sick. Like, really, really sick. 

How selfish can she be?

“Are you okay?” Ginny asks besides her, “you are hyperventilating.”

“What?” Hermione asks, she notices how a little of the attention has shifted to her. Remus, Ron and George all look at her. “Yeah, I got lost in thought and got carried away.”

“It's okay.” Ginny says, “we are going to be okay.”

Hermione nods and tries to finish dinner, but resorts to pushing her food around and pocking it with the fork.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are like payment for writers


End file.
